Let’s start with some poetry:
Doctor Ron Paul
Your life long struggle
Gave us a chance to break our chainsYour fine example
Human being standing tall
For what is rightEvery day we soldiers of Liberty
Holding onto the flag of your words
Victory within our hands and heartsIn my heart
You are already elected president
Feel free to add your own literary contribution in this open thread.
arguingwithsignposts
Did all you front pagers take pep pills this morning?
Damn.
One fine thread after another
Stomped into the ground
Flowers of snark
Cut down in their prime
PTirebiter
chalk on the sidewalk
writing on the wall
everybody knows it
I love Paul
tall Paul, tall Paul
Ron Paul
He’s my all
(Paul Anka?)
j
Hmmm, what rhymes with “Nantucket”?
Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen
There once was a doctor named Paul
Who was the owner of only one ball …
Shit. Need coffee to finish.
General Stuck
I’m just trying to get a few comments in before the small army of energizer troll bunnies go on the march around here.
"Fair and Balanced" Dave
I thought poetry that bad was limited to Justin Bieber fan sites
NamelessGenXer
Dear Texas,
Get the fuck out.
THX.
Strandedvandal
Dear confused gerbil
Your fangs and claws are not real
Your life is a waste
Ash Can
The “fart noises” app on my husband’s i-Pad is classier than that poem.
Bobby Thomson
Roses are red
Violets aren’t blue
Sugar is sweet
And Ron Paul is a lying racist asshole
Joey Maloney
@4 –
Need coffee to finish,
Or even some spinach
I’m Ron Paul the crazy man!
Yevgraf
That poem is an ode to a guy who would have proudly stood with a crowd clearing out a lunch counter sit in 50 years ago (all while menacingly wielding his axe handle, but at the back of the room).
jeffreyw
When Ron Paul says
Gold Standard!
Krugman’s eyelid flutters
butterflies fucking
Judas Escargot
How about some Ron Paul/Libertarian-inspired haiku?
ron paul, physician:
your stupidity poisons
my once-great country
——————–
medical doctor
heal my soul, but first you must
abolish all tax
——————–
leaf on water, your
forest is beautiful, let
me pave it over.
John
i hear the voices
in my head
i swear to god
i think that they’re snoring
Linda Featheringill
@Strandedvandal: #8
Oo! Haiku.
Southern Beale
Hah! I have my writer’s group meeting this morning so I’ll save the literary pyrotechnics for that. But I’ve got some garden blogging over at my place; anyone know what this bird might be?
mellowjohn
oh, fatherland, fatherland,
show us the sign
your children have waited to see.
a new day is dawning,
the future is ours.
tomorrow belongs to me.
AliceBlue
I have a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat. Or is it a lump in my eye and a tear in my throat?
Judas Escargot
Or maybe a limerick:
There once was a doctor named Paul
Who preached economic freedom for all
Converted to gold,
the Dollar was sold,
And nobody suffered at all!
Omnes Omnibus
Ron Paul
knows fuck all
Citizen_X
Twenty college boys
Ten thousand internet comments
Fucking Paultards
Guster
When hope and change,
were all the rage,
the People said, ‘Let him rule us!’
With Lilly L and a pint-sized stimulus,
A federal pay freeze and saving GM,
You run hot and cold, AM and PM,
You saved us from a Great Depression,
Right into a Long Recession.
You never act the bully,
The tables remain unpounded,
On the _possible_ you focus fully,
Proving any fear of audacity unfounded.
You never berated,
but always advocated,
fearlessly,
peerlessly,
queerlessly,
blah blah blah
I was gonna rhyme mau mau with kowtow …
RossInDetroit
I want an app that lets me highlight a word and find rhyming words from a pull down menu. It’s the 21st century. Is this too much to ask for?
gocart mozart
Every day we soldiers of Liberty
Holding onto the flag of your words
Victory within our hands and hearts
In my heart
You are already elected president
In our hands
Your liberty tree grows exponentially
Your flag will always fly full staff
From the longest hardest pole
May we stroke it gently
And watch it grow?
Stronger! Stronger!
Harder! Longer!
‘Till freedom comes.
donnah
Southern beale, is it a bluebird?
http://10000birds.com/bluebirds-for-andrea.htm
or barn swallow
http://nationalzoo.si.edu/scbi/migratorybirds/featured_photo/bird.cfm?pix=Barn_Swallow
RossInDetroit
Dear Ron Paul
Reality called
You’re badly missed
We must insist
Come home, we forgive all
jeffreyw
@Southern Beale: Might be a barn swallow, left ya a link in comments at your place.
Menzies
*barfs*
. . . oh. Sorry. I thought you said “vomitary” contribution.
lonesomerobot
awwww, Ron Paul is President of his heart… that’s almost as sweet as rough sex with Dagny Taggart.
Did anyone else notice that the actual author of the poem lives in Canada?
Villago Delenda Est
If you follow the link, in the comments there, others have pointed out that this poem is reminiscent of the sort of literary fluffing you find in places like North Korea.
I’m sure some hack poet of 30’s Germany should find this “legalizeliberty” twit and sue for look and feel theft.
Omnes Omnibus
@ lonesomerobot:
No, I chose not to delve that deeply (delving too deep can wake balrogs, you know).
capt
Paultards are funnier than cartoons!
lol
Omnes Omnibus
@ capt:
I would say creepier than clowns.
tworivers
(Sung to the tune of “Doctor Robert” by the Beatles)
If you’re down he’ll leave you there, Doctor Ronald
Take a drink from his special cup, Doctor Ronald
Doctor Ronald, he’s a man you must believe
Helping nobody in need
No one can succeed like Doctor Ronald
Well, well, well, you’re feeling fine
Well, well, well, he’ll make you… Doctor Ronald
AxelFoley
@NamelessGenXer:
WIN!
LOL, I got nuthin’ after this.
Violet
Ron Paul
Standing tall
Oh, wait…
Carl Nyberg
Dick Cheney didn’t wear green
Didn’t wear blue
Going to Vietnam?
He had better things to do
PaulW
Rock on, gold dust congressman
Take your silver spoon
And dig our graves
Heartless challenger
Pick your path and I’ll pray (our nation doesn’t get royally fucked over by you)
Wake up in the morning
See your tax rates (revenue levels) to go down
Lousy leaders, pick apart our way
But they always whine out loud on the news
Strandedvandal
The world is balance
impotent Paultard raging
making me happy
Danny
I’M RON PAUL
SON OF A BITCH PROGRESSIVE
PROGRESSIVE IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A FEDERAL BANK?
DO YOU WANT A SOCIAL INSURANCE?
PROGRESSIVE IS PIG DISGUSTING
OBAMA IS A MURDERER
FUCKING NEW DEAL
lonesomerobot
@Omnes Omnibus:
well it was scary but I needed to know if the “poet” was male or female. Couldn’t tell just by reading the poem…
lonesomerobot
@Strandedvandal: wow, ask and ye shall receive, next comment after yours.
kindness
More haiku:
I’m goin’ with acronyms being one sylable here….
Strandedvandal
@lonesomerobot
That’s some scary timing. Rage on Paultards! :chuckle:
Jeffro
gocart mozart @25: I’m dying here
lonesomerobot
I want social insurance
had it when I lived in Australia
even Australian libertarians won’t get rid of it
they know it would be a joke
to even try
Sloegin
Hi, I’m Ron Paul
I want the poor
The sick
The elderly
To curl up and die.
kthnxbai.
cmorenc
@”Fair and Balanced” Dave:
Many of us guys are old enough to remember an egregiously bad poet who made the best-seller lists because of his astounding popularity with the girls, Rod McKuen. This presented us a real dilemma: reading McKuen tended strongly to induce women into romantic snuggle-bunny mode um…with prospects, PROVIDED we could suppress and conceal our barf-reflex long enough to let Rod help us set the mood by reading his drivel aloud…
Danny
@41 was for the young whippersnappers among us, btw ;)
piratedan
the hum of a thousand scooters
serve as the chorus
of the hive mind
forsaking those formerly lucid
as they scream in unison
GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
d. john
There once was a man named Ron Paul
Who answered the politic call
He entered the senate
and in nary a minute
began to set fire to it all.
There once was a man name Ron Paul
Who had a son as dumb as a wall
He forsaked the “Plan-B”, and groomed him you see,
to answer the Tea bagger call.
And I’m out now – seeing as how I can’t stand most of you obamatrons, demobots and the libertarian morons, and motley crew of trolls.. *waves* hai!… I’m sure the feeling is mutual, but enjoy the stupid limericks in any case…
need more coffee..
moar coffee…
Joey Maloney
@Ross in Detroit –
Here’s what you do: Get the iCab browser. Then add Wikirhymer to its list of search engines, with this url: http://www.wikirhymer.com/search?q=%@
Bob’s yer uncle.
bisquits
9@ash can
My teenage daughters put the ifart app on my phonea
As a stealthy joke. Now, to their horror, checkouts and drive thru windows can become very embarrassing and stressful. Little did they anticipate! Mwa ha ha!
Felanius Kootea
@j:
Barf bucket?
Johannes
‘Twas many and many a year ago
In the swampland of DC
that an orange-hued boner
and a Randian loner
would crash our economy.
The President’s mild reproving aside,
he positioned to avert a slide;
but horrid Firebaggers
and right knuckledraggers
the realities all denied.
The end of the play should come any day,
according to Timmy G.
But we must place our trust in the man whose cool crust
is unruffled, says Larry O’D.
While the stakes are too high for schadenfreude,
the sensucht nonetheless grips me,
for watching the right set themselves alight
is a joy compensatory
Man, Poe is gonna kill me in the afterlife.
Brachiator
Ron Paul may be gone
But he left us his son
So that nuttiness
Can go on and on
Semi OT, check out the news stories of Rand holding up the confirmation of the FBI director even though a freakin bipartisan panel long ago gave its approval.
NamelessGenXer
@AxelFoley
policomic
Give me a “C”–a bouncy “C”:
Oh Ron Paul
Oh Ron Paul
You have two first names, and that’s not all
You like ideas that are old
Like a currency based on gold
Your supporters are libertarians
And white, would-be Rastafarians
People who couldn’t buy a clue
Are the biggest fans of the likes of you
Da, da, da, dee, dee, dee, whatever the hell else you want to put in there…
RichardC
Ode to Representative Bachmann
Michelle, my belle.
These are words that go together well,
My Michelle.
Michelle, my belle.
Sont des mots qui vont trĂšs bien ensemble,
TrĂšs bien ensemble.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
That’s all I want to say.
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that
You’ll understand.
Poem by… well, modesty prevents me.
BGinCHI
Ron Paul sucks, but Marcus Bachmann blows.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
jrg
I am a 21st century Frederick Douglass
Taxes… pulling the skin from my back
No, wait
I’m just like a victim of the holocaust
Or like Jesus on the cross
Whatever it is, it’s the worst thing in the world
Cheetos stain my enslaved fingers
An echo through my grandma’s basement
An imprisoned turd.
A wet shart of fear. Of hope.
I will succeed
Getting the bong water out of
The Persian rug
Before she gets home from cribbage.
And she better not bring home generic
Soda this time
The bitch
JGabriel
I guess Homer isn’t the only blind poet.
.
Kathy in St. Louis
“Holding on to the flag of your words”….uh, really, I hate to be nitpicking but that line makes utterly no sense whatsoever. Perhaps “the patriotic vision in your words”, or “the utter ragtime craziness in your words”, or “the John Galt screw everyone in your words…..
Kathy in St. Louis
jrg@63…Now, that’s imagery. Fabulous!
Kathy in St. Louis
polomonic@ 59. Ha! Great stuff. I so wish you could meet my ex-son-in-law, the libertarian. From the sound of the poem you wrote, perhaps you have.
Jimperson Zibb (formerly Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-PĂzsmĆgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
I could smear shit all over this thread and it would be more of a “contribution” than that, that, that thing about Ron Paul.
Since I can’t smear shit in a thread, and since I don’t think anybody else would want me to, I’ll have to settle for a haiku:
Bury my wool socks,
Deep beneath the plaid oxen,
Never to breathe free.
TC
Gold, that barbaric relic,
Another tool of “free market” fools
Who likewise created the Federal Reserve:
This ought replace the Fed’s disgrace
Because credit multiplied it would displace,
But what of the People, Dr. Paul?
What of Liberty thus enslaved
By gold, a most base form of money,
Would keep the nation from its greatness?
Ought we not think where Hamilton stood on this?
Did not father of the First Bank of the United States
Oppose tyranny, much like you say, Dr. Paul?
Situate, thus, your barbaric relic,
In most weighty matters of politic where:
Justice is established,
Domestic Tranquility is insured,
Our Common defence provided,
And general Welfare promoted foremost.
Alas, Hamilton secured the Blessing of Liberty
To ourselves and our Posterity with credit,
Not by adhering to a tyrants barbaric relic…
Catpause
« ProphĂšte ! â dis-je, â ĂȘtre de malheur ! oiseau ou dĂ©mon ! toujours prophĂšte ! par ce Ciel tendu sur nos tĂȘtes, par ce Dieu que tous deux nous adorons, dis Ă cette Ăąme chargĂ©e de douleur si, dans le Paradis lointain, elle pourra embrasser un fille saint que les anges nomment Ron Paul, embrasser un prĂ©cieuse et rayonnante fille que les anges nomment Ron Paul. » Le corbeau dit : « Jamais plus ! »
If it’s going to be poetic it has to be Poe and it has to be in French.