Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

Everybody saw this coming.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

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78Comments

  2. 2.

    elmo

    You’re not a jerk. We are proud members of the reality-based community; we don’t actually believe in magic cat-controlling mind rays. Wonderful to have Tunch back, but happy thoughts and fairy dust didn’t have anything to do with it.

  5. 5.

    Zifnab

    My brother has informed me that I am a jerk and that I should have thanked you all, since a half hour after you all sent your message to Tunch to come home, he re-appeared.

    See, I would have come to a completely different conclusion and assumed Tunich was just reading your blog.

  6. 6.

    jl

    Yeah, OK. I guess that means I have to say your welcome. OK did that.

    Now why does that cat run away so much? Cole is such a neatnik, and with that panicky stuff about Tunch’s supposedelly filthy dirty feet (which were only slightly dingy)… I think that after Tunch is furminated, then Cole bathes him, and then vacuums him, just to make sure, that’s what I think.

  8. 8.

    MazeDancer

    Norquist endorsed Boehner’s plan. Wonder if that will matter to any of the T-P’s.

  9. 9.

    trollhattan

    @3.Cris (without an H) – July 27, 2011 | 6:17 pm · Link

    A stranger on the sidewalk greeted me with “Hello, Great One.” I don’t really know what he meant by that, but not knowing makes it even better.

    That would make my day too, so long as they weren’t confusing me with Jackie Gleason.

  13. 13.

    trollhattan

    Also, too, one of the high points of each year has arrived.

    As the young officer studied the oak door, he was reminded of his girlfriend — for she was also slightly unhinged, occasionally sticky, and responded well to being stripped and given a light oiling.

    http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2011.htm

  15. 15.

    lamh34

    MazeDancer

    I’ve been catching up on some online reading and just IMHO,I think Boehner’s plan will BARELY pass the House, but just barely, just by virtue of the fact that the WH, Pelosi, and Reid have all said that they hate it. To the petty brethren along with Cantor will vote for anything that will piss off Dems.

    I also expect the MSM to report it as “Well, Boehner has done it, he’s held his caucus together, now it’s up to Dems to tank econmy”…forgetting about the fact that Boehner may be “mobile”, but he’s got a million knives in his back and is losing alot of blood.

  17. 17.

    freelancer

    That would make my day too, so long as they weren’t confusing me with Jackie Gleason.

    Or Mark Levin.

  18. 18.

    Jennifer

    Dude, no special shout-out for moi? I mean, hell, when I started writing my prescient post on the Tunch is Missing thread, there were no comments; it posted at something like #11 or #12, and I totally NAILED IT, right down to the resting in the shade bit.

    Hmmpppff.

  20. 20.

    AAA Bonds

    I’d be interested to see what S&P and Moody‘s private security expenditures look like right now for their U.S. offices, a wang a lang doodle!

  21. 21.

    lamh34

    I’m liking Jay Carney more and more! Here he is again calling out FoxNews and new FoxNews douche (former CNN Douchebag) Ed Henry, for trying to “fox-up” a contraversy.

    (BTW, I’m ignoring the usual fellatio of FoxNews that Politico always does)

    ‘A thing for Fox’
    Carney makes an accusation

    …Henry pressed on — why not have a senator take up Obama’s detailed plan and introduce it as a bill? “We are six days away,” Henry said. Carney got angry. “Chuck — I mean Ed, you know, the speaker walked away from this deal,” he said. “You say it’s a great deal so put it out there,” Henry said. “Let the American people — “

    “I think I’ve answered the question,” Carney said. “I mean, I know you’re creating a thing here for Fox…”Henry, who hardly pulled punches when he sat a few seats over for CNN, chided Carney, “That’s not what I’m doing. You know better than that.”

    …”Ed, somebody from Fox sat in a room with senior White House officials and got more detail on the president’s proposal and what was agreed upon between the president and the speaker of the House than you could name me now is in any of the proposals put forward by House Republicans,” Carney said. “And you know it.”

  22. 22.

    Ana Gama

    @MazeDancer

    Norquist is okay with it, but Erick son of Erick and Club for Growth are not. I say they should do the honorable thing, and crack out the dueling pistols.

    Also, too, it would be quite humorous if the POS does makes it out of Boehner’s house only to be filibustered in the Senate by DeMint or Paul.

    Guess we just have to stay tuned.

  23. 23.

    JPL

    Even if congress reaches an agreement on the debt limit, the President will bet blamed. I’m not behaving like John said but we have to be realistic about who will should get the blame and who will get the blame.

  26. 26.

    hildebrand

    Can someone walk me through the 14th Amendment business – from the constitutional perspective, is this an escape clause that allows the president to act when the congress is unwilling or unable? Somewhat not unlike the six-month dictators of the Roman Republic?

    To get the whole business straight in my thinking – why would Obama be able to invoke the 14th? Why not?

  27. 27.

    Keith G

    I find it a bit hard to believe that a cat the size of of a bale of hay can invisibly hide by the door and stealthily slip out as Cole goes to walk the pups.

    How much alcohol was involved?

  29. 29.

    freelancer

    @trollhattan:

    The grisly scene before him was like nothing Detective Smith had ever seen before, but there were millions and millions of things he had never seen before, and he couldn’t help but wonder which of them it was.
    Sean Griffin
    Tacoma, WA

    As his small boat scudded before a brisk breeze under a sapphire sky dappled with cerulean clouds with indigo bases, through cobalt seas that deepened to navy nearer the boat and faded to azure at the horizon, Ian was at a loss as to why he felt blue.
    Mike Pedersen
    North Berwick, ME

  30. 30.

    burnspbesq

    @trollhattan:

    Yeah, that too. On balance, a better-than-average day for the environment.

  32. 32.

    JPL

    Back to John’s thank you note about Tunch, I can’t imagine losing a pet overnight. It has to be worse than a dinner with DeMint.

  33. 33.

    BGinCHI

    Saw a guy in a t-shirt that said “Rehab is for quitters” today.

    Don’t know if it was a Winehouse shout-out or sartorial cry for help.

  34. 34.

    MazeDancer

    @lamh34:

    No question if he gets his bill passed, the media will hail Boehner as a giant among men. And try to find someway to paint the Dems as recalcitrant.

    NBC reports the revised Boehner Plan got rescored and now “saves” more.

    @Davis X. Machina:

    It’s true the “Real Republicans” are all against doing anything. Have spent way too much time at Red State now. I’m kind of fascinated by these people who actually believe they are patriots of the highest order.

    Most uplifting remarks I read there today said they thought this might be the beginning of a 3rd party. (Pleeeeeezzzeee be true.)

    They recognized this would give the President a 2nd term, but it was worth it. Because, after all those RINO’s they had now weren’t worth anything so what did it matter. Better to organize for the future.

  35. 35.

    trollhattan

    @27.Keith G – July 27, 2011 | 6:35 pm · Link

    I find it a bit hard to believe that a cat the size of of a bale of hay can invisibly hide by the door and stealthily slip out as Cole goes to walk the pups.
    __
    How much alcohol was involved?

    If WV had more seismometers he’d be pretty simple to track.

  38. 38.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Please. Your brother is, bless his heart, a jerk for suggesting that you’re a jerk.

    As for Tunch, Tunch does what he wants to do. Hairless apes only can fantasize that their actions or thoughts have any bearing on what Tunch does.

  39. 39.

    geg6

    I was offline when Tunch escaped, but I’d really like to know how a cat big enough to smash my 60 pound golden retriever could “sneak” by anyone with eyes.

    Maybe Tunch is a shapeshifter like on True Blood. Makes sense if you think about it. More than anything coming out of the House GOP anyway.

  40. 40.

    JGabriel

    @Cris (without an H):

    A stranger on the sidewalk greeted me with “Hello, Great One.” I don’t really know what he meant by that …

    It means that you’re about to start a long, but fulfilling adventure as an apprentice mage that will take a mythic Joseph Campbell-esque trajectory.

    Either that, or you were greeted by a schizophrenic.

    Kind of hard to tell, really.

    .

  42. 42.

    General Stuck

    burnspbesq

    That cannot be. I thought we were looking forward, not backward.

  45. 45.

    jl

    @27, 35

    ” I find it a bit hard to believe that a cat the size of of a bale of hay can invisibly hide by the door and stealthily slip out as Cole goes to walk the pups. ”

    Remember that Rosie and Tunch have joined forces to destroy Cole. Those two have the moves worked out ahead of time.

  46. 46.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Norquist is okay with it, but Erick son of Erick and Club for Growth are not

    The “Club for Growth” consists of people who worship the ideology of the cancer cell.

    Fuck them.

  47. 47.

    Jade Jordan

    Your brother had to tell you that you were a jerk? I have always thought you were extremely self-aware.

  48. 48.

    burnspbesq

    @geg6:

    Maybe Tunch is a shapeshifter

    Has anyone ever seen Tunch and Rene Auberjonois in the same place at the same time? Does Tunch sleep in a bucket?

  49. 49.

    JPL

    My pup who is between twelve and thirteen has been losing weight. Okay it’s only a pound but when you are only eighteen pounds that is a lot. She is also not chasing squirrels. She’s getting old but I want an anti-aging cure.
    In a few weeks we get to babysit for a maltese that Moxie treats like a baby so maybe that will perk her up..

  50. 50.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @lamh34:

    The reporters and producers from Fox at the White House are among the most respected in the news business. Next year, Henry takes over as president of the White House Correspondents Association — meaning ever closer dealings with the administration.

    head/desk

  51. 51.

    Ed Marshall

    The EDL has told the AP that Anders Breivik’s mentor that he mentioned in the manifesto as “Richard” is actually Paul Ray who runs a blog called “Lionheart” and lives in exile in Malta and wears goofy Templar outfits.

    Said idiot in turn is fingering Alan Lake, millionaire EDL financier and crazy ass nazi as being his real mentor.

    The crazy “lone wolf” story is about to get dented up pretty good.

  52. 52.

    Martin

    If WV had more seismometers he’d be pretty simple to track.

    Could just monitor the fluctuations in the earths rotational speed and axis. That’d work anywhere.

  54. 54.

    hamletta

    Awww…you’re not a jerk, Cole. Your gratitude came through loud and clear. Besides, do jerks pick up their friends at the airport? No, they do not.

    Case closed.

  55. 55.

    MazeDancer

    GOS reports via Think Progress that the Congressional Black Caucus is introducing a “Clean Debt Ceiling Bill”.

    And on our other subject, the only think worse than having kitty go on the lam overnight is having that happen in the High Desert where coyotes are just waiting for dusk.

    Thank heavens Tunch is fine and happy.

  57. 57.

    Amir_Khalid

    No, John Cole, you’re not a jerk. Tunch is a CAT. CATs come and go as they please. If he doesn’t take orders from you, he’s sure as heck not going to take them from the rest ofus, no matter how powerful our mind-control rays. As superior beings, CATs can of course receive them, but it’s a CAT’s nature to disdain all orders.

    @trollhattan:
    Christopher Monckton really is a hereditary Lord; per his Wikipedia entry, he is the third Viscount Monckton of Brenchley. What’s false is his claim that he is also a member of the House of Lords. Hereditary lords lost the automatic right to membership of the upper chamber seven years before he inherited his title. Besides global warming, that’s the other thing he’s in denial about.

    It’s interesting that Anders Breivik is an AGW denialist. But I didn’t find it too surprising, since AGW denialism is practically RWNJ dogma.

  59. 59.

    Arclite

    My brother has informed me that I am a jerk and that I should have thanked you all, since a half hour after you all sent your message to Tunch to come home, he re-appeared. So thanks!

    Dude, you were distraught with grief over the disappearance of a loved one, then overjoyed by his return. You wouldn’t be John Cole if manners, politeness and civility were the first thing to come to mind.

  61. 61.

    burnspbesq

    @General Stuck:

    Someone in the Civil Rights Division has a problem with creating especially toxic products for minority borrowers and referring to said borrowers in internal documents as “mud people.”. Go figure.

  62. 62.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @MazeDancer:

    And on our other subject, the only think worse than having kitty go on the lam overnight is having that happen in the High Desert where coyotes are just waiting for dusk.

    The last thing John needs is for his cat to get a taste for coyotes.

  63. 63.

    Phyllis

    The ump who missed the call that ended the Braves v. Pirates game last night has been getting death threats. Perspective, some folks needz it.

  65. 65.

    General Stuck

    For anyone worried the senate will cave and pass Boner’s bill if it passes the House tomorrow

    The entire Senate Democratic caucus — including independents Joe Lieberman (CT) and Bernie Sanders (VT) — have a succinct message for House Speaker John Boehner: cram it!

    Cram it — I guess that’s a no go. So it’s either Reid’s bill or default, or a last second voice vote for a clean bill. Of which the House Black Caucus weighs in that they will only vote for a clean bill. Which is looking like the last drop squeezed from this lemon, or it’s defaultTango.

  66. 66.

    MikeJ

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    The last thing John needs is for his cat to get a taste for coyotes.

    John’s credit card will have huge bills as Tunch tries to catch them with stuff ordered from the Acme company.

  67. 67.

    JPL

    Since this is an OT..fifteen years ago my son was working at the Olympics. For some strange mother reason, I woke up and put on TV. He was across the street from the bombing pretending to be twenty one and I guess doing a good job at it. Anyway it was before cell phones but his friend had a pager that I tried. He went to a phone to call me that was roped off and explained that he had to call his mom. He according to his friend used a lot of adjectives cuz he had to call his mom. His friend dragged him away. He didn’t get home until 4:30 am.. It was a long night.
    BTW…I hate Eric Rudolph and he’s not Muslim.

  68. 68.

    trollhattan

    @57.Amir_Khalid – July 27, 2011 | 6:59 pm · Link

    Christopher Monckton really is a hereditary Lord; per his Wikipedia entry, he is the third Viscount Monckton of Brenchley. What’s false is his claim that he is also a member of the House of Lords. Hereditary lords lost the automatic right to membership of the upper chamber seven years before he inherited his title. Besides global warming, that’s the other thing he’s in denial about.
    __
    It’s interesting that Anders Breivik is an AGW denialist. But I didn’t find it too surprising, since AGW denialism is practically RWNJ dogma.

    Monkton is an international menace, the epitome of a misanthrope, if not outright sociopath. You’ve probably seen this already. I found it a thing of beauty–we Yanks don’t possess the art of the stinging understatement.

    I am publishing this letter on the parliamentary website so that anybody who wishes to check whether you are a Member of the House of Lords can view this official confirmation that you are not.

    http://www.parliament.uk/business/news/2011/july/letter-to-viscount-monckton/

  69. 69.

    trollhattan

    @66.MikeJ – July 27, 2011 | 7:19 pm · Link

    John’s credit card will have huge bills as Tunch tries to catch them with stuff ordered from the Acme company.

    Just some rockets and anvils and canon and magic make-a-tunnel paint. What could possibly go wrong?

  72. 72.

    quannlace

    Since Tunch appeared so quickly after your post, I guess you didn’t have time to put up ‘Cat Missing’ notices on various walls and telephone poles. But if you did, please take the time to take them down.
    My heart breaks every time i see old ones around town or on my vet’s office walls, and wondering if they ever did find their way home.

  74. 74.

    WereBear

    I haz a happy that Tunchee is safe at home. I was starting to worry!

    Now I can devote my time to worrying about our economy grinding to a halt.

  75. 75.

    TOP123

    I was just forcibly exposed to a few minutes of Bill O’Reilly (for as long as it took me to get the G&T ingredients out of the kitchen) since I’m over at my mother’s house… I’m sorry, can I just say I feel like I’m tripping–hard. I guess I’m underexposed these days to these people, but Sweet Jeebus. Have any of you listened to him lately? It seriously sounds delusional, like the product of a fractured skull, like some Bizzarro-World in which O’Reilly and Dick “May he rot in Hell” Morris were talking about how the Democrats and the President can’t do the right thing on the debt ceiling to save the economy because their voters are trapped in a closed media world, and because they are at the mercy of all of these fringe crazies on the internet and the hard left in the media and on and on… and I was trying not to laugh out of politeness to my mother, but, Oh My God, if vast quantities of people are really this delusional we are all doomed.

    Thank you, needed to register my cry for help. T +1

  77. 77.

    Trollenschlongen

    I think happy dust and magic fairy rays may have had a lot to do with Tunch’s return. There is an entire multiverse out there full of shit we don’t know, much less understand.

    So, either way, welcome home, Tunchles!

  78. 78.

    opie jeanne

    @quannlace #72,

    I’m not taking down Tommy’s missing signs yet because he is not home yet. We have coyotes in the area but he is a 15 pound tomcat. I do need to replace the ones that are too weathered, though.

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