Like it or not, we’re going to be seeing a lot of Marco Rubio the next six years as Republicans try to appeal to Latino voters. Here’s what Jeb Bush said about him in his “Fifty Sexiest People in Washington” profile:
“He’s the only guy I know on the scene today who can make grown men cry.”
What could that possibly mean?
Zifnab
He’s sweet cherry pie?
Brachiator
Heaven knows what impact he has on dead men. Pace Rolling Stones.
cleek
but can he make a dead man come?
Michael Demmons
I am a grown man. His stupidity makes me cry. Also, he makes dead men cum.
Arclite
Jeesh, the headline wrote itself:
Michael Demmons
Damn you, Cleek! ! ! ! ! ! !
Cris (without an H)
The quote is sent over the top by his reference to “the scene.”
Evolved Deep Southerner
Jeb Bush is still alive?
General Stuck
Enthusiasms
PurpleGirl
Man crush. Definitely a man crush.
Either that or Jeb is alluding to some ability of Rubio’s to crush a man’s dangley bits by thought alone.
(Well, I’m in a naughty mood.)
ETA: When I started writing my comment, there were no comments yet. You guys are swift.
TX Expat
Maybe he means that Rubio can really rock a flight suit.
Cris (without an H)
@PurpleGirl
No, that’s John Yoo
Ol' Dirty DougJ
Exactly. I felt like I was reading liner notes from an old Blue Note album.
Ann B. Nonymous
He exudes a powerful smell of onions at all times.
JPL
Rubio has kept his mouth shut lately, no wonder why a sane, if there is such a thing, would say something like that.
Really ..Rubio and his statement on the debt ..where is it?
arguingwithsignposts
I’m amazed they got to 50.
ETA: and two of the top 10 are Dems, one’s a fox news producer and one a cnn correspondent.
Martin
I think he just slipped that Boehner is having an affair with Rubio.
cleek
@JPL:
NO PLAN!NO PLAN!NO PLAN!
boss bitch
Oh please, anyone can make John Boehner cry.
Just Some Fuckhead
Sounds like Jebby should have used more lubrication and started on top.
Some Guy
Means Jeb’s got a boner. Did I miss something?
geg6
All it means to me is the same thing thought when they were all salivating over W’s codpiece.
The GOP is simply awash in closet cases.
Stillwater
Why don’t these guys just start kissing each other and find out?
MikeJ
@Some Guy: I thought that was Gary.
Just Some Fuckhead
Maybe we can do a Manly Men of the Republican Party calendar and put the proceeds towards the debt.
Thoughtcrime
Must have something to do with Bo(eh)ners.
Stillwater
@Just Some Fuckhead: Does Boehner know this?
Hmmm. Is Rubio so electric he could make a Boner cry?
Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion
Mrs/Ms Fuckhead:
(ahem)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
dmsilev
I think it means that the GOP establishment is considering breeding Rubio to Sarah Palin to produce a mutant crossbreed ultimate conservative politician.
Be afraid. Be very very afraid.
scav
Stances are being worn very wide this year in the Grand Old Parr-tay!
Just Some Fuckhead
I bet the Senate cloakroom is an interesting place these days. Prolly got a disco ball in there now. Maybe body building mags strewn casually about the room too.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Stillwater: I changed my comment so as to appear fresh and witty.
pragmatism
maybe jeb was referring to larry craig, mark foley, et. al.?
Just Some Fuckhead
You know Larry Craig is hating on himself right now for retiring. Prolly wishes he could sneak in the back door.
Jeffro
It means Rubio is going to be the VP nominee in ’12 (or in either spot in ’16).
Romney/Rubio 2012
Romney/Haley 2012
Rubio/Haley 2016
You heard it here first!
(most definitely NOT an endorsement of said tickets, btw)
Odie Hugh Manatee
Because Rubio is an overstuffed codpiece in a flight suit?
The Dangerman
So, Rubio’s doing the prostate exams?
j
It means John Ellis Bush was thinking “look at that Island-Mexican!! I bet he could trim a putting green in no time flat and still have time to change into a waiter’s outfit and serve Lime Rickeys to my family”.
(He added under his breath, “Stupid Cuban, if it wasn’t for mah Daddy he wouldn’t even be here”.)
arguingwithsignposts
I don’t know if anyone actually clicked through to the The Hill link, but 50 pageviews to see all these people? WTF The Hill? Is your site really so awful you can’t put up a slideshow or a single page list?
scav
Jesus wept.
On the upside, I hear the bathingsuit competition is very close this year: should help Faux with their Repub debate ratings.
beltane
Between this, Rick Perry, and Mr. & Mrs. Bachmann, it’s looking like the GOP is planning on staging some kind of Christian fundie version of a Village People revival. I grew up in Greenwich Village but I’ve never seen anything as gay as this quote.
arguingwithsignposts
@j: Jeb is married to a latina, iirc.
arguingwithsignposts
@beltane:
LOL and ewwww simultaneously.
Just Some Fuckhead
@The Dangerman:
Right? My doctor is obsessed with my prostate. He turns every symptom into an excuse to do a prostate exam. He gets his hand wedged up in there and says, “Does this hurt?” And I’m thinking, “Yeah, motherfucker, you got yer hand shoved up my ass.” But I’m afraid to express my true feelings during a prostate exam so I just sorta roll my hips in a sensuous circle and murmer “nnhh hhhh”.
Sko Hayes
Would Rubio(tea Paaaarteh!) run with Romney (RINO!!)?
Tune in next week and find out!
kdaug
This is awesome – Rodrigo y Gabriela. Pair of classical Spanish guitarists, but who really get into it.
beltane
@arguingwithsignposts: But can his wife fill out a codpiece like Rubeo can?
aisce
as funny as it is to milk the gay jokes for all they’re worth, you guys are really missing out by not clicking all the way through to the actual list.
how desperate a failure as a journalist do you have to be to end up writing a page and a half on a congressional scheduler’s exercise tips?
eemom
oh, so THAT’s where the Jeb comes from. I always thought they named him after the Beverly Hillbillies.
arguingwithsignposts
Oh, this is classic, too. (h/t wonkette commenter):
ETA: But wait! There’s moar:
eemom
@ 44
that’s about as close as you’ve ever come to driving me off this blog, fucklet. Fortunately I haven’t eaten recently.
U R GROSS
Lev
It’s going to be pretty funny to see everyone–the GOP, the media, maybe even the Democrats–act as though Rubio is some sort of savior for the GOP with Hispanic voters. This guy is hardly pre-sold to Latinos and he’s terrible on the issues that matter to them. If the GOP puts him up against, I don’t know, a ticket along the lines of John Hickenlooper and Hilda Solis, assuming a decent economy in 2016, I would not bet on Rubio.
mellowjohn
eemom:
that was jed.
Just Some Fuckhead
@eemom: This is for us.
j
@41 beltane – July 27, 2011 | 7:13 pm · Link
S/B “…and Mrs. & Mrs. Bachman…”
Fixed it.
Djur
Marco Rubio, master of CBT.
j
@42 arguingwithsignposts – July 27, 2011 | 7:13 pm · Link
@j: Jeb is married to a latina, iirc.
Yep, the ones GHWB calls “the little brown ones”.
Don’t matter, they ain’t “one of US”.
It’s ALL political with that “family” of inbreeds.
Do a search of the Walker, Ellis, Pierce and Bush families…they ALL inbreed (in fact, Barbara the racist is a relative of Franklin Pierce, one of the worst presidents on the books.
“Shitty” runs in their blood.
shortstop
This headline is making me laugh, because I told a BJer earlier today in an aside that another BJer’s “voice” would make a coming man (or woman) dead.
Andy
Now I am left with an image of Marco Rubio smashing in Larry Craig’s back door. With Jeb Bush prancing around shooting for some food in the title sequence of the Beverley Hillbillies.
Tonal Crow
@kdaug:
That is the best Youtube link from this site ever. By miles. Thank you so much. I’m going to check out their albums pronto!
OzoneR
As much as we tend to think the gays are unreasonable in their criticism of Obama, the immigration advocates are 50x times worse. I wouldn’t put it past them to push for a Hispanic Republican over a Democrat because they think s/he can be more influencable than a Democrat.
And while we’re buttering up Rubio, has anyone considered the Female Mexican Republican Governor of New Mexico?
Corner Stone
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Not really a prostate exam any longer at that point. But, I kinda think you knew that already.
shortstop
kdaug, saw them last summer in concert and was blown away. They should really be Gabriela & Rodrigo ’cause she’s got it all over him, but you know how it is.
Speaking of Marco Rubio’s assets, check out this story on how Joe Walsh is the poorest person in Congress “and proud of it.” Who wouldn’t be proud of defaulting on a mortgage (he’s now homeless and sleeping in his Congressional office) and failing to clear $40K two years in a row as a venture capitalist while screaming at the top of his ignorant-ass lungs about Washington’s fiscal irresponsibility and urging the country to walk away from its debts?
But my point, and I do have one, is that old Marco, another strong voice for economic restraint, may have a net worth of -$211,000. You’ll also enjoy reading about Sean “I’m Barely Making It on $174,000” Duffy, whose net worth is between -$837,984 and $2,995. Yes, that’s almost a million below the red line and less than $3,000 above it. Goddamn those high-spending Democrats, refusing to live within their means.
J.W. Hamner
Does he like to kick guys in the junk? That would work.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Corner Stone:
mmm hmmm
John S.
Unless Cubans from Dade county comprise the majority of the Latino demographic in this country, Republicans are going to get a very poor return on that investment.
Comrade Kevin
@eemom: and the origin of the Arrested Development “Gob” Bluth.
shortstop
Men are such candyasses (haw, see what I did there?) about energetic prostate exams. Just remind the doc to take his/her watch off next time.
Chris G
Is it rude to point out that 40-year-old Marco Rubio already has a combover? He’s like John Edwards without the hair.
shortstop
And old Dade County Cubans, too. A lot of younger Cubanos voted for Mr. Barack Obama.
Just Some Fuckhead
@j:
The Walkers are particularly hideous, if that’s possible.
eemom
childbirth.
That is all.
shortstop
I’ve always loved that Barbara Bush is the common family denominator between two of the worst presidents. I guess her beautiful mind couldn’t conquer all that twisted DNA.
Southern Beale
Sure he can make a grown man cry, cripes, anyone can do that. Look at the Tea Party, causing all sorts of hissy fits these days.
The question is: can he make a dead man cum?
patrick II
@kdaug:
Thanks kdaug, Rodrigo y Gabriela are magnificent. I watched a few more of their videos — including “Stairway to Heaven” on classical guitar. Great stuff.
rikyrah
you mean Senator ANCHOR BABY RUBIO?
the Latino Senator – that doesn’t even have a section on IMMIGRATION at his website?
that has said the DREAM ACT has nothing to do with him, and his ass is nothing but THE definition of ANCHOR BABY.
part of the reason I give the side eye to the Latinos whining about POTUS is this…
Rubio NOT being the point man in the Senate for the DREAM ACT
is comparable to me to a Black Senator, if there had been one, during the time of the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Bills, saying, ‘ this doesn’t really concern’ me.
Black folk would have raised their eye, and said
Negro, what the fuck do you think you’re saying?
yet, the Latino organizations let Anchor Baby Rubio get away with it.
Mustang Bobby
Oh, hell, that’s nothing new. I’ve dated Latin guys. They make grown men cry because they’re like dating a cat: “Feed me, adore me, get out of my way.”
Just Some Fuckhead
@eemom:
I passed out the first time. The second time, I handled it much better.
dollared
@66 John, so true. But as all Republicans know, Mexicans, Cubans, Argentineans, Salvadorans, Cubans, that’s all ONE demographic.
dr. bloor
Well, we are talking about two guys from the party of Wetsuits and Dildos.
Hawes
Gross, Rubio smells of freshly cut onions?
Or does he routinely walk around kicking people in the balls?
Bex
I bet my congressman Mr. Six Pack abs is soooooo jealous.
Mustang Bobby
@66 John: I live and work in Miami-Dade, and the Cubans don’t consider themselves to be Hispanic in the same way as all those others, and the feeling is mutual.
The Anglo Republicans are making a huge mistake if they think they can sell Mr. Rubio as their Hispanic candidate to the rest of the Hispanic community. Es una tonteria tremenda.
Thymezone
“He’s the only guy I know on the scene today who can make grown men cry.”
What could that possibly mean?
–//
It means that he carries sliced onions around in his suit pockets.
John S.
@79 dollared
Indeed. They’re all from across the border at the end of the day, amirite?
@83 Bobby
I live in Broward and work in Palm Beach. Believe me, I know. And even worse for the GOP is the fact that younger Cubans aren’t a reliable bloc for them. Rubio cannot save them.
@70 shortstop
Which puts us on the same page.
kdaug
@Tonal Crow: Just passing it along.
gpleigh
Hey Jeb, I’m afraid it’s your brother W who makes everyone cry. Still.
gpleigh
@OzoneR Because you mean that Latinos are just that stupid?
OzoneR
Anybody is that stupid, but the “Democrats aren’t on our side because only 95% of the caucus voted for the Dream Act, so we don’t align ourselves with a party” people certainly are.
A higher percentage of Democrats voted for the Dream Act than for Social Security, but no one ever doubts the support of the Democrats for that in the 1930s.
Dr J
He’s my senator, and that makes me cry!
karen marie
kdaug: That was great!
gpleigh
@OzoneR You’ve been watching too much MSNBC.
OzoneR
Haven’t put the channel on in a year.
The Republic of Stupidity
Mark my words…
Hit series on HBO by next spring…
shortstop
John S.:
Sure. Did I sound like I thought otherwise?
ETA: Mea culpa — I hadn’t properly read your full comment as it unfolded.
Cat Lady
If my husband cried about Marco Rubio, I’d kick him in the nuts and punch him in the neck to really give him something to cry about, then file for divorce asap. WTF is up with Republican men? They’re the softest wussiest whiny ass titty babies the world has ever seen.
Ed Drone
Fixed it for you.
Ed
Gordon, The Big Express Engine
Probably no one left here, but this spread is up there with any of the best Sadly No! threads for hilarity…
Steve M.
But would he make a dead man come?
Anne Laurie
Y’all are overthinking this. All JEB! meant was, “Effin’ little brown dude, what with all the GOP closet cases salivating over him, how’m I and/or George P. gonna get any electoral love in the primaries?”
Sure, you think that nobody named Bush will ever be allowed within grasping distance of the Oval Office, even if they pay for the gold-card tourist tour, but rest assured that the Bush
CrimeFamily is serenely certain that America will come to its senses and install one or another of the dynasty in 2016, if not 2012.Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
destination unknown rubirubisoho.
having to be the candidate in waiting for 4 yearsin this gop, is almost guaranteed to be fatal. their next big threat is coming out of nowhere.
Pat
What the fuck did Barbara do to her sons anyway? Baby faced Rubio make grown men cry? Really. W T F ?