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You are here: Home / Self-awareness fail

Self-awareness fail

by DougJ|  August 10, 201111:54 pm| 52 Comments

This post is in: Our Failed Media Experiment

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I don’t read most Tom Friedman columns, I don’t get the same satisfying hair shirt feeling from them that I get from Bobo, and I know John already wrote about this, but this is good stuff:

Until you read the following news article, we’ll be stuck in a world of hurt.

What the fuck? The appearance of lines like that in high-school newspapers would surely signal the decline of our so-called civilization. When you see it in the Times, you might reasonable start to wonder if Glenn Beck is right about the impending apocalypse.

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52Comments

  1. 1.

    themanintheguyfawkesmask

    August 11, 2011 at 12:02 am

    Okay, at this point, I am thinking the moustache of understanding is just a parody.

  2. 2.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 12:03 am

    It’s hilarious hearing about pain from a person who married a billionaire heiress and lives in a sprawling estate.

    https://balloon-juice.com/2010/02/18/suck-on-this-matt-taibbi/

  3. 3.

    Steeplejack

    August 11, 2011 at 12:04 am

    __

    Until you read the following news article, we’ll be stuck in a world of hurt.

    Amen, DougJ, amen. That is unbelievable bullshit in a world-class newspaper. The weight of the pompous self-regard no doubt crashed through the floor into the classified-ad department on the floor below.

    Oh, what, they don’t do that anymore, since CraigsList et al. ate their lunch drank their milkshake.

  4. 4.

    themanintheguyfawkesmask

    August 11, 2011 at 12:04 am

    @Jenny: laughing to keep from crying.

  5. 5.

    beltane

    August 11, 2011 at 12:04 am

    We just have to laugh at this very silly man and the very silly, inane things he writes. Even more funny are the people who pay this silly man hundreds of thousands of dollars to write these things. Couldn’t our overlords send over some more credible sounding hacks to propagandise on their behalf?

  6. 6.

    Violet

    August 11, 2011 at 12:06 am

    Who is the “you” in “until you read”? ‘Cause I ain’t reading his column and even if I did, it wouldn’t change anything. He’s lost it.

    The appearance of lines like that in high-school newspapers would surely signal the decline of our so-called civilization.

    Even high school kids wouldn’t be allowed to get away with that crap in their paper. The NYT should have a teacher edit The Moustache’s columns before they’re published.

  7. 7.

    C.J.

    August 11, 2011 at 12:07 am

    To borrow a phrase from that mustachioed metaphor-making mastermind, civilization will be like a gazelle caught in a shark’s net. Without a steering wheel.

  8. 8.

    Spaghetti Lee

    August 11, 2011 at 12:07 am

    Wasn’t there one Shyamalan movie where he cast himself as a writer whose writings would bring about world peace? Maybe he should have considered Friedman for the role.

  9. 9.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known As Kryptik

    August 11, 2011 at 12:07 am

    That unmistakable smell of bullshit is just the inevitable result of the Mustache Blithe and his favorite fetish, the Dirty Centrez.

  10. 10.

    themanintheguyfawkesmask

    August 11, 2011 at 12:07 am

    @Violet: The moustache is now the emo gang in South Park.

  11. 11.

    beltane

    August 11, 2011 at 12:07 am

    Tom Friedman MUST read David Brooks’ book on humility or he will be in a world of hurt.

  12. 12.

    Joel

    August 11, 2011 at 12:08 am

    With lines like those, Friedman should narrate some skate videos, or pro wrestling documentaries.

  13. 13.

    Jeffro

    August 11, 2011 at 12:09 am

    Said it in the last thread and I’ll say it again: how does he write this stuff and not realize that Obama, Pelosi, and Reid are already RIGHT THERE WITH HIM IN THE FROCKIN’ MIDDLE (or center-right, if you prefer) and the other side is the problem?

    Times eleventy.

  14. 14.

    Mike Goetz

    August 11, 2011 at 12:11 am

    OT, but the season of massive shitting all over Romney has begun (from Ben Smith, of all people):

    “The presentation to the ratings agency reveals that Romney’s administration made the case to Standard & Poor’s that his state was creditworthy because of both spending cuts — the current preferred GOP method — and new revenues, including fees he imposed and tax “loopholes” he closed.”

    Oooooooooooops! Sorry to hear about that “Mormonism,” Mitt.

  15. 15.

    themanintheguyfawkesmask

    August 11, 2011 at 12:11 am

    @Jeffro: Because it’s hard out here for a pimp pundit.

  16. 16.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 12:11 am

    “Friedman is paid $50,000 per speaking engagement.”

    Now that’s what you call a high priced Rent-Boy.

  17. 17.

    beltane

    August 11, 2011 at 12:14 am

    @Jenny: How much would it cost to get him not to speak?

  18. 18.

    Davis X. Machina

    August 11, 2011 at 12:15 am

    @beltane: You couldn’t afford it….

  19. 19.

    Vance Maverick

    August 11, 2011 at 12:20 am

    Of course, even after reading it, we’ll still be stuck in that world of hurt, so it’s safer not to.

    More seriously, what’s grating is not just the indefensible claim, but the tone — it’s an attempt at idiomatic macho, along the infamous lines of “Suck on this.”

  20. 20.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2011 at 12:20 am

    What is it with nasty little shits that write for the NYT’s.

    Modo has soured on Obama again, and seeming to have lost that O tingle in her nethers – whipping up fresh “man up” “wussie” charges for letting the wingers walk all over him. Never mind the nihilist assholes were put in power by dumbass voters and run a chamber of congressm nor the fact they didn’t get much for their hijinks, which was deep medicare benefit cuts to medicare.

    Almost sounds like she’s been reading Balloon Juice progs wailing on Obama to do something, and fight, and now maybe like Ratigan, to turn into a spittle flecked maniac on national teevee, where white American can point and whisper, “angry black man” everybody run!!

    Media criticism of Obama is not only welcome, if it’s legit, it is a requirement for healthy democracy. But this bullshit of hammering Obama in such personal tones and terms, is really fucked up. Clinton deserved that, with his sorry personal behavior/ Not Obama. not so far.
    The whole world is going to the cats, eye tells ya

  21. 21.

    freelancer

    August 11, 2011 at 12:20 am

    if you don’t buy this magazine read my fabulist bullshit column, we’ll kill this dog ethnic taxi driver.

  22. 22.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2011 at 12:21 am

    Modo column link

  23. 23.

    Jeffro

    August 11, 2011 at 12:22 am

    @themanintheguyfawkesmask: it’s just willful, I say WILLFUL blindness and ignorance in that man (and so, so many others)

    I mean folks, dare to get out of the boat and read that column. There’s not a word in there that didn’t already happen on the D side of the aisle. We have reached a truly strange point when a major (gag) columnist is pining away for something to happen that’s half already happened.

    Write a post-senior prom metaphor here as you will ;)

  24. 24.

    themanintheguyfawkesmask

    August 11, 2011 at 12:26 am

    @Jeffro: look, I will *never* get out of the boat for a Freidman slash/fan-fic wankfest after watching his centrist bullshit over the last few weeks. Someone get back to me when he runs for office somewhere and actually has to do something other than collect $50,000 checks for his random encounters with cab drivers.

  25. 25.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2011 at 12:30 am

    This ought to give John Cole a sigh of relief, even if coming from one of the most right wing democratic presidents in history.

    Seriously, this is a good thing

  26. 26.

    Suffern ACE

    August 11, 2011 at 12:31 am

    Milwaukee is in first and might go deep into the playoffs. Pittsburgh was in first past mid season, and you notice the impending end of the world now? There can be at most one seal left.

  27. 27.

    General Stuck

    August 11, 2011 at 12:31 am

    Having all kinds of problems with hyperlinks tonight. Here is link to #25 above.

  28. 28.

    burnspbesq

    August 11, 2011 at 12:33 am

    Oh, my goodness.

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0810/breaking27.html?via=mr

  29. 29.

    Chad N Freude

    August 11, 2011 at 12:38 am

    the impending apocalypse

    Impending? I thought it had already started. Still in the baby-steps stage, granted, but I think the little snowball has started its unstoppable descent.

    And the only thing by Friedman I will ever read is his Last Will and Testament. And only because I want to see to whom he bequeaths his mustache.

  30. 30.

    Suffern ACE

    August 11, 2011 at 12:40 am

    What is it with nasty little shits that write for the NYT’s.

    Those shits are what high hair liberalism looks like in New York City. It jumps for the stock market. It has lots of good souls thinking that it is the bestest liberalism there could be.

  31. 31.

    cmorenc

    August 11, 2011 at 12:41 am

    @beltane :

    We just have to laugh at this very silly man and the very silly, inane things he writes.

    That would be this very silly man who happens to be married to a billionaire and live in an 11,500 ft house. Query: is it better to be a bitter, sad, serious, brilliant, and broke man saying wise things no one pays any attention to, or is it better to be a silly, but happy and rich man who says inane things lots of people apparently pay lots of attention to, if only for the ridiculous entertainment value. Something Liberace once said comes to mind: “I’ll cry all the way to the bank”. The NYT is the party who truly deserves scorn, for purporting to be a very serious newspaper and giving a regular paid forum to this very silly, vapid man by which he gets even richer, and no one else gets a bit wiser or better-informed.

  32. 32.

    Suffern ACE

    August 11, 2011 at 12:43 am

    @burnspbesq: But my 2,500 mafia wars friends?? How will we keep in touch? Who will feed my cows in Farmville when I am away from a computer. The folks in Cityville will starve due to the impending poor harvests.

  33. 33.

    themanintheguyfawkesmask

    August 11, 2011 at 12:44 am

    @cmorenc:

    Query: is it better to be a bitter, sad, serious, brilliant, and broke man saying wise things no one pays any attention to, or is it better to be a silly, but happy and rich man who says inane things lots of people apparently pay lots of attention to, if only for the ridiculous entertainment value.

    Where have you gone, IF Stone, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

  34. 34.

    Chad N Freude

    August 11, 2011 at 12:45 am

    @General Stuck:

    In a statement, Portland’s Police Association said “We handle…often explosive situations fraught with risk, with professionalism and compassion.”

    The Association went on to say “We handle situations in which it is clear that there is absolutely no risk to the police with brutality and viciousness.”

  35. 35.

    Little Boots

    August 11, 2011 at 12:48 am

    the thing is, there’s new thread. that’s the thing.

  36. 36.

    hamletta

    August 11, 2011 at 12:49 am

    @burnspbesq: It’s not quite the same without the luscious voice of Hugo Weaving.

    They better mean what they say, because they’re right. Taking Facebook down would require some major skillz, what with all the cooperation from governments around the world.

  37. 37.

    Comrade Kevin

    August 11, 2011 at 12:52 am

    @Chad N Freude: I have a hard time deciding which is worse, a corrupt cop, or a “good” one, who knows all about the corruption, and does nothing.

  38. 38.

    hamletta

    August 11, 2011 at 12:53 am

    @themanintheguyfawkesmask: Well, his granddaughter is still with us, and still kicking ass.

  39. 39.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 12:53 am

    @Suffern ACE: The Times was perverted years ago due to the demands of their advertisers.

    Sidney Schanberg spent years covering bloody wars for the Times, winning two Polk awards and a Pulitzer, and only months after the Oscar winning film and box office smash “The Killing Fields” debuted, the 26 year Times’ employee was fired for criticizing a real estate development in his column.

    The Times is a paper of the rich, by the rich, and for the rich.

  40. 40.

    tBone

    August 11, 2011 at 1:10 am

    What the fuck? The appearance of lines like that in high-school newspapers would surely signal the decline of our so-called civilization.

    I think you’re being a little unfair here. Friedman’s mustache didn’t finish devouring his cerebral cortex and achieve full sentience until sometime in 2003, so it’s only been ghostwriting his column for 8 years. That would put it on an equivalent level of experience with a jr. high newspaper writer, and by those standards it does a fairly adequate job.

  41. 41.

    scav

    August 11, 2011 at 1:13 am

    @General Stuck: The thought that said Roy Austin, Deputy Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights thinks part of the “training” that cops lack and the tools for success they are in need of apparently includes don’t rape and don’t kill people unnecessarily is a bit of an eye-opener.

  42. 42.

    kdaug

    August 11, 2011 at 2:03 am

    @Joel: “WATCH as the Mustache of Doom destroys those who didn’t read his article! WITNESS the devastation as the Mustache of Doom smites his foes and crushes all comers. LISTEN as the Mustache of Doom’s victims cry their laments and ask for forgiveness – but there will be none coming!. This SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!! Be there…“

  43. 43.

    Mnemosyne

    August 11, 2011 at 2:14 am

    @scav:

    I don’t think you read the quote all the way to the end:

    “Meaning they don’t have the training. They don’t have the supervision. They’re not held accountable.”

    To me, he’s politely saying that cops need to be a whole hell of a lot more closely supervised and not allowed to run rampant like they are right now, because without proper supervision and discipline, they decide they can do anything they want.

    ETA: Also, too, it seems like a veiled warning to the higher-ups in the department that the DoJ isn’t going to be satisfied with a few token prosecutions of lower-level cops. That’s what I hope, anyway.

  44. 44.

    TenguPhule

    August 11, 2011 at 2:29 am

    We are watching the Decline of Humanity back to the Dark Ages. Soon it will be like WH40K except the soul devouring monsters live next door, none of the cool weapons exist, and the God Emperor is Darth Cheney’s wizened body that refuses to die.

  45. 45.

    LosGatosCA

    August 11, 2011 at 2:30 am

    Come on baby, make it hurt so good.

    The more pain there is for us, the more gain there is for them.

    But consider that this all come together, or fail completely in the next, critical six months.

    Consider yourselves flattened.

  46. 46.

    James E. Powell

    August 11, 2011 at 2:45 am

    @burnspbesq:

    Have the people who call themselves Anonymous ever really taken anyone or anything down? I have heard of them, but know nothing about their history. Weren’t they going to take on the Church of Scientology? Or am I confusing them with some other group?

  47. 47.

    Triassic Sands

    August 11, 2011 at 5:26 am

    The “Grand Bargain” will be a done deal just as soon as the Democrats give the Republicans everything they want — plus a little something extra the GOP doesn’t even know it wants, because with the Lunatic Fringe even too much is never enough.

    Until that happens the Grand Old Psychotics are not about to join Barack Obama in anything that could help him win re-election. So, part of what the Democrats and Obama will have to offer would be an assurance that Obama won’t run in 2012 and Joe Biden (aka Aphtae epizooticae) will take his place. That would might work. (They’re so effing whacked even that might not be enough.)

  48. 48.

    harlana

    August 11, 2011 at 6:56 am

    World of hurt? I find the more I avoid Friedman, the better I feel. Funny that.

  49. 49.

    bob h

    August 11, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Where is Bobo, anyway? In Tuscany on vacation, perhaps? Or perhaps not up to putting a gloss on his Party now?

  50. 50.

    The Other Bob

    August 11, 2011 at 8:17 am

    After that I need to return to reality, so I think I will go take a tour of the fairy doors in Ann Arbor.

  51. 51.

    Chris

    August 11, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Until you read the following news article, we’ll be stuck in a world of hurt.

    A world of pain, Smoky!

  52. 52.

    Jinxtigr

    August 11, 2011 at 9:52 am

    @General Stuck: thanks, that’s the most encouraging thing I’ve read in WEEKS. seriously.

    The single thing that will most effectively prevent our own society from breaking down like London has, is the DoJ cracking down on police brutality. It directly buys us time to fix poverty and income inequality, before society breaks down completely and we then have to deal with major infrastructure damage on top of everything else.

    This is SO the right thing to be doing, and we’d never even know it was being done except for little reports like that.

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