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You are here: Home / Politics / The luckiest people of all

The luckiest people of all

by DougJ|  August 11, 20113:10 pm| 118 Comments

This post is in: Politics, Going Galt

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You are all anti-Mormon bigots for even reading this:

“Corporations are people, my friend,” Romney said, when a heckler called for raising their taxes. “Of course they are. Everything corporations earn eventually go to people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings.”

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    GeneJockey

    August 11, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    “Corporations are people, my friend,” Romney said

    Yeah? So’s Soylent Green.

  2. 2.

    cleek

    August 11, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    trickle-down applies to corporations, too !

  3. 3.

    Hunter Gathers

    August 11, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    If corporations are people, why can’t I kick them in the balls?

  4. 4.

    Violet

    August 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    @GeneJockey:
    Oh, please, someone make a Photochop of Soylent Green and Romney. Please!

    Everything corporations earn eventually go to people.

    Or a person. Like the CEO.

  5. 5.

    Mark S.

    August 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Couldn’t you make the same argument about the government and unions?

  6. 6.

    RP

    August 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Corporations Are People – Free to Be You and Me
    Performed by Harry Belafonte, Marlo Thomas, and Mitt Romney

    Corporations are people, people with money
    When corporations were little, they used to be partnerships
    Like some of you, but then they grew
    And now Corporations are people, people with lobbyists
    Busy with offshore accounts, and things that they do
    There are a lot of things a lot of corporations are legally permitted to do

    Some corporations are defense contractors, or chemical makers
    Or health care providers or mortgage backed security sellers
    Some corporations fly airplanes, or sell some TVs
    Yeah, corporations can be almost anything they want to be

    Well, they can’t be governments, accountable to the citizens

    Goverments are people, people with citizens
    When governments were little, they used to be communities
    Like some of you, but then they grew
    And now Governments are people, people with citizens
    Busy creating a stable society, and things that they do
    There are a lot of things a lot of governments can and should do

    Some governments protect us, or put out the fires
    Or pave the roads, or punish liars
    Some governments keep markets open, or defend your rights
    Yeah, governments have an important role in our society

  7. 7.

    Ken

    August 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    People’s pockets. Human beings.

    Oh, suddenly we’re back to people means human beings? Because the big cash piles that most of the larger corporations are sitting on aren’t in human pockets, they’re in other corporation’s pockets.

  8. 8.

    EvolutionaryDesign

    August 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Maybe Rick Perry can shoot this asshat on the way to the nom. Fucker.

  9. 9.

    gogol's wife

    August 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    @GeneJockey:

    LOL. I wish Phil Hartman were alive.

  10. 10.

    Tonybrown74

    August 11, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    @cleek:

    trickle-down applies to corporations, too!

    Ugh! Trickle down economics. Just the most insulting [sounding] fiscal policy ever!

    Sounds like someone is peeing on you, like it’s supposed to be a good thing.

  11. 11.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    To be fair, he is accurate. Corporations are made up of people. People are on the boards and in the corner offices and in the IT cubicles and elsewhere.

    However, once you make that distinction, you need to also make the distinction that at the current time and space that the USA occupies, corporations have more rights than NORMAL human being citizens, due to their incredible amount of wealth and their limited liability when compared to normal living breathing human beings.

  12. 12.

    Bruce S

    August 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Does this mean dollar bills are people because they…uh…you know…go into human being’s pockets.

    What about the lint?

  13. 13.

    Cat Lady

    August 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    This is why the Gooper primaries and debates are going to be so great. There’ll be shit like this to keep us entertained 24/7, and Romney is the least crazy.

  14. 14.

    wrb

    August 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Mormons believe that corporations are people?

    What a weird religion.

    So many theological questions are raised.

  15. 15.

    Shirt

    August 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Well since they breed a lot of bastards they at least reproduce.

  16. 16.

    Hunter Gathers

    August 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    What’s hilarious is that Sully thinks that Mittens did alright for the duration of that exchange, except for the ‘corporations are people’ part. I watched the whole exchange, and thought Willard was going to start balling, screaming ‘Leave the Job Creators Alone!’

  17. 17.

    piratedan

    August 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    yes, Corporations are like Mormons, they marry you when they hire you and when you’re fired, its just like getting a divorce, see? Also, they have really good lawyers, so they get to keep everything you ever brought into the marriage too. TY Mitt for clearing that up for me.

  18. 18.

    bemused

    August 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    I’m having a hard time deciding who wins in the dumb department, Perry or Romney.

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    August 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    “Corporations are people, my friend,”

    Just can’t get that Sex Pistols song out of my head.

    God save the queen
    she ain’t no human being.

  20. 20.

    Judas Escargot

    August 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Ok… but what religion are these corporations?

  21. 21.

    Mark S.

    August 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Mitt will reverse himself eight times on this issue and wonder why voters don’t trust him.

  22. 22.

    cleek

    August 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    a corporation can’t be a person, because a corporation will never die if people continue to nurture it. it can last forever, given the proper filing of paperwork. they’re more like cacti.

  23. 23.

    res ipsa loquitur

    August 11, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    WHOSE pockets? Mittens?

    WHOSE pockets?

  24. 24.

    Kane

    August 11, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    The Mitt has hit the fan. And he’s in Mittload of trouble.

  25. 25.

    Violet

    August 11, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    The Supreme Court did say corporations are people, right?

  26. 26.

    GeneJockey

    August 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    @cleek:

    they’re more like cacti.

    Or maybe like sex with cacti – a thousand pricks against one.

  27. 27.

    trollhattan

    August 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    When Romney was all busy buying out and dismantling corporations, did he realize he was ripping the limbs off “people” or was this a more recent discovery?

    Just axin’.

  28. 28.

    Trinity

    August 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Sure corporations are people…RICH PEOPLE.

  29. 29.

    Kane

    August 11, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    First question for tonight’s debate: Do you agree with Romney that corporatio­ns are people, or do you agree with President Obama who says that corporatio­ns are not people?

    That should stir things up.

  30. 30.

    Yevgraf

    August 11, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Was it me, or did anybody else detect a note of hysteria in his speech?

    The GOP bench isn’t real deep this year – hell, even the starters are only 1 and 2 star recruits.

    The 3 and 4 star folks are all sitting out the season as redshirts.

  31. 31.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Again, he is relatively accurate. I think his actual point if flubbed on the delivery, is accurate. Corporations are made up of people.

    Corporations are also legal “people”. So he’s accurate. But the anger on the crowd’s side is justified, as corporations are not called to account for their actions like normal people are.

    They also have limited liability (depending on the type of corporation) and their incredible concentrations of wealth make them actually a kind of super people that are more important to our current political and judicial system than a normal person.

    TL;DR. Mitt is accurate, but he really flubbed his point, and the people are angry about the titled tables of justice/politics in regards to corporations.

  32. 32.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Mitt Romney: he’s too weird

  33. 33.

    Legalize

    August 11, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    To which Snarky McSnarkerson with the Huntsman campaign tweeted http://twitter.com/#!/Timodc/status/101700922043932672:

    Was American Pad & Paper Company a person/friend?

    Mitt Romeny is such weird dude.

  34. 34.

    Bruce S

    August 11, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    “To be fair, he is accurate. Corporations are made up of people.”

    Who are relieved of personal responsibility – in fact mandated to ignore the manifest complexities of individual “personhood” – to act in concert in their “corporate personas” with a single goal of maximizing the organization’s profitability, while largely sidestepping any of the moral or legal hazard borne by individual people if they were doing essentially the same things without cover of incorporation. (One example is the notion that any entities other than corporations could claim property with as shady dealings as the “robosignings” without an actual person going to jail.) And that’s not even getting to the concentration and power of huge piles of money, beyond the dreams of most of us as mere people.

  35. 35.

    trollhattan

    August 11, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    @Yevgraf:

    Was it me, or did anybody else detect a note of hysteria in his speech?

    Poor sod is suffering from too much pork-chop-on-a-stick.

  36. 36.

    wrb

    August 11, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    @Violet:

    The Supreme Court did say corporations are people, right?

    It is totally weird. The headnotes to Santa Clara v. Southern Pacific RR
    erroneously stated that the decision said that they are people. Then came a long line of decisions based on those erroneous headnotes.

    A whole lotta our troubles started with them

  37. 37.

    Cat Lady

    August 11, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    @efgoldman:

    I don’t think Mitt meant public corporations that have responsibilities to file stuff that regular people can see and are held accountable. He means like that little LLC that popped up, gave him a cool mill, then went poof. Only those corporations are people.

  38. 38.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    August 11, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    The videos of this at Think Progress are funny and sad. Funny, because Romney is getting heckled unmercifully by the crowd, and sad because he is the patronizing second coming of John McCain.

  39. 39.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    @Bruce S: Right, and I noted that in my comment. Given the current political and judicial climate, I consider corporations First-Tier citizens, since they can avoid responsibility and use their enormous speech (I mean campaign contributions) to rig our political system in their favor, making normal human beings (that aren’t super rich) Second-Tier citizens.

  40. 40.

    Rhoda

    August 11, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    This is awesome. The repetition is what kills me; “whose pockets? whose pockets?”

    God damn, you can see the pictures spliced through his words.

    The ad writes itself.

  41. 41.

    scav

    August 11, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    oh no, not another campaign littered with “my friend”s . . . ow ow ow ow ow ow

    at least I don’t think it creates a sort of winning aural imagery in itself.

    (and one can hope for all sorts of “Is X a person too?” heckling in future.)

  42. 42.

    trollhattan

    August 11, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    @Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937:

    I’d like Mittens more a little bit had he married a beer heiress.

  43. 43.

    Paul in KY

    August 11, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    @gogol’s wife: I do too. He was a great comedian.

  44. 44.

    Judas Escargot

    August 11, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    @singfoom:

    Corporations are the latest incarnation of the Second Estate.

  45. 45.

    Kane

    August 11, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    I wonder if the hecklers in the crowd are troops from fellow republican camps or if it’s democrats having fun.

  46. 46.

    Bruce S

    August 11, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    Honestly, I hate the Mittster much more than I loathe Bachmann. She’s actually nuts. It’s a feature, not a flaw. Given that, Romney lacks her substance. The Mittster is giving all of those empty suits on the rack at Men’s Wearhouse a bad name.

  47. 47.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    @Judas Escargot: Indeed, and as a lowly peasant in these times, I have to tithe fees to financial institutions that I find odious, but if I do not, I cannot receive the blessing of the sacred credit.

  48. 48.

    weirdmittromney

    August 11, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    weirdmittromney.tumblr.com

  49. 49.

    jl

    August 11, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    And by that reasoning, when at Bain, Mitt Romney killed ‘people’ for money? Our first Murderer’s Row president?

    (Except for the Hillbillerys, of course, but they were Democrats, and therefore part of the AnitChrist, or at least Magog)

  50. 50.

    Dee Loralei

    August 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    @RP: hahah that’s brilliant!

    I gotta say the entire comment section of this blog has been a riot today! Thanks everyone!

    Oh, and if anyone wants to read a great take-down of The Mustache of Understandings latest wankery, get thee to The Reality Based Community. Hie thee with a quickness. I’ve been giggling about that all day.

  51. 51.

    bemused

    August 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    @efgoldman:
    I guess I am unaware of a time when he may have had principles.
    Romney probably does have a higher IQ than Perry but I think he is incredibly awkward and clueless when he glad hands with folks who aren’t in his world.
    Plus he is just plain weird.

  52. 52.

    japa21

    August 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    If you cut them, do they not bleed?

  53. 53.

    Lolis

    August 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Does Romney think McCain’s use of “my friend” won him the nomination?

  54. 54.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Corporations are people in the sense that they’re draft dodgers, just like Mitt.

  55. 55.

    ...now I try to be amused

    August 11, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    If corporations are people, why can’t I kick them in the balls?

    Or throw them in jail?

  56. 56.

    FlipYrWhig

    August 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Hey, Mitt. See, here’s the thing. Some of those corporation people make a ridiculously large amount of money. I know that corporations are made of people. It’s just that a lot of those people are douchebags.

  57. 57.

    Rhoda

    August 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    The best part of the video is the laughter. Seriously, you just run that clip straight through on TV; it’s devastating. And it needs no context.

  58. 58.

    ProgressiveTechie

    August 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    LOL Reaganomics!

  59. 59.

    Villago Delenda Est

    August 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    The problem with corporations (at least for profit ones) is that they are only for profit…no other value is allowed to interfere with profit. Not employing people, not developing new products to make people’s lives better…only profit. If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    Romney doesn’t see anything wrong with that. Which is why he’s evil.

  60. 60.

    ciotog

    August 11, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Corporations are people, but government jobs aren’t jobs. Okay, I get it now.

  61. 61.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    @bemused:

    Romney probably does have a higher IQ than Perry

    It’s hard to tell because Mitt has had everything handed to him because of his rich, connected daddy, and his mannequin looks.

  62. 62.

    ppcli

    August 11, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    So, like, when that buddy of Romney’s from the Bain Capitol days formed a corporation, used it to anonymously donate a million simoleons to Romney’s campaign, and then *dissolved* the corporation, it was a cold-blooded murder to silence a witness? Is there no limit to what this man will do to become President?

  63. 63.

    Violet

    August 11, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Poor sod is suffering from too much pork-chop-on-a-stick.

    I think one of the Republican candidates should get the nickname pork-chop-on-a-stick. Mittens is the obvious choice since he’s the one talking about it, but Newt really seems like a better fit. Romney seems more like Pringles in a can.

  64. 64.

    ...now I try to be amused

    August 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    The problem with corporations (at least for profit ones) is that they are only for profit…no other value is allowed to interfere with profit. Not employing people, not developing new products to make people’s lives better…only profit. If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    As best I can tell, most of the exceptions to this rule are still controlled by their founders, not the bean-counters that take over after a corporation goes public. Funny how they also tend to be more successful than bean-counter corporations.

    Mitt is a bean-counter. Call him that early and often, and voters will know what you’re talking about.

  65. 65.

    Jay in Oregon

    August 11, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    Funny, I’ve never met a person who could split parts of themselves off into separate people for the purpose of letting one take a proverbial bullet or, I dunno, make a $1 million donation to a presidential candidate’s coffers before falling over dead.

    Do you think that will happen if I legally change my name to add an “LLC” to the end?

    EDIT: And @ppcli beat me to it.

  66. 66.

    liberal

    August 11, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    @singfoom:

    Corporations are also legal “people”.

    Yes, in the sense of “is”; no, in the sense of “ought.”

  67. 67.

    Judas Escargot

    August 11, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    @ppcli:

    So, like, when that buddy of Romney’s from the Bain Capitol days formed a corporation, used it to anonymously donate a million simoleons to Romney’s campaign, and then dissolved the corporation, it was a cold-blooded murder to silence a witness?

    Yes.

  68. 68.

    liberal

    August 11, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    @Jay in Oregon:
    Not to mention, biological people can’t own people who in turn own people who …

  69. 69.

    liberal

    August 11, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    Not completely true. The top corporate officers manage to inflate their compensation at the expense of profit.

  70. 70.

    Shinobi

    August 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    I feel patronized, and he wasn’t even talking to me.

  71. 71.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    August 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    .
    .
    “Pigs are people too. All those pigs on farms eventually go to people. Where do you think they go? Whose stomachs? Whose stomachs? People’s stomachs. Human beings.” Mr. Romney, you are a pig.
    .
    .

  72. 72.

    ChrisNYC

    August 11, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Man … watching the long version of this Iowa fair thing, Romney has a condescension problem. He talks to that crowd, admittedly seeded with antagonists, like they are kindergarteners. Disturbing CEO-ish “this is not a democracy” feeling to it. Sort of like all he has to do is say something and voila, people are bound to agree. Zero interest in persuading or charming or cajoling. It’s such a weird (ha!) combo with his “please please like me” vibe.

  73. 73.

    Bokonon

    August 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    And just like a person, a corporation can be born, make a massive political campaign contribution to Mitt Romney’s, and then promptly commit suicide.

    Right, Mitt?

    Corporations are people too. They are just more equal than other people.

  74. 74.

    trollhattan

    August 11, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    @Violet:

    I think one of the Republican candidates should get the nickname pork-chop-on-a-stick. Mittens is the obvious choice since he’s the one talking about it, but Newt really seems like a better fit. Romney seems more like Pringles in a can.

    It would fit Newton to a tee, but might have to be modified some: pork-chop-on-a-stickreally-stout-pole

  75. 75.

    pragmatism

    August 11, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    if i would have known this, i may have married a well off corporation. slog it out for a few years and rely on the community property settlement.

  76. 76.

    amk

    August 11, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    So then, people can marry corporations ? And in mittens’ case, multiple corporations ?/(via dkos)

  77. 77.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    I though Mitt was against Man-on-Corporation sex.

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    August 11, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    @singfoom:

    Imagine for a moment if a Democrat said, “Unions are people, my friend.”

    S/he would be equally right, but the shrieking on Fox News would never, ever stop.

  79. 79.

    Cris (without an H)

    August 11, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Everything serfs earn eventually goes to the king — so serfs are kings!

  80. 80.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Maybe now is a good time to revist Santa Clara County vs. Southern Pacific Railroad and recognize that the headnote is not actually part of the decision and remove corporate personhood from our legal system alltogether.

    Though, given the current makeup of SCOTUS, it would be highly unlikely. They’d probably come down in the majority with “Not only are corporations are people, but they’re super people and can do no wrong, so no more suing a corporation, ok?”

  81. 81.

    Daulnay

    August 11, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    By Romney’s logic, governments are people too. Someone’s not able to categorize clearly. All the governments and corporations I know can’t move an inch – they’re plants, not animals, and therefore can’t be people. Vicious, blood-sucking plants, but plants. None of them can do a bit of harm unless they have the help of real, flesh-and-blood people.

  82. 82.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Yes, this is true. I just want to point out the knee jerk reaction is less than accurate.

    Also, it would be worse. I can hear the talking heads on Fox. “Now, blah blah said that unions are people, too. Well, they’re thugs, and thugs aren’t the kind of people that belong in Real ‘Murka.”

    ETA: Regardless of anything, the shrieking at FoxNews never does stop and never will.

  83. 83.

    Bokonon

    August 11, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    If corporations is people too, does that means that Mitt Romney was engaged in slavery back when he was in the venture capital business? You know, when he was was buying and selling corporations all the time?

    How about white slavery? Assult and battery? Cannibalism? Murder?

    OMG! The guy is a criminal!

  84. 84.

    Cris (without an H)

    August 11, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Imagine for a moment if a Democrat said, “Unions are people, my friend.”

    Somewhat related: remember Hillary Clinton saying

    A lot of those lobbyists, whether you like it or not, represent real Americans. They represent nurses, they represent social workers, yes, they represent corporations that employ a lot of people.

    I thought this was a great point, and I found it unbelievably petty of Clinton’s critics to seize upon it.

  85. 85.

    Citizen_X

    August 11, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    @singfoom:

    Corporations are made up of people.

    No, they’re not. (Even if, arguably, they have the rights of people). Corporations are legal entities created specifically to separate their owners from liability for the corporation’s actions. Corporations are owned by people, and they employ people. But the employees are not permanent parts of the corporation, they are instruments used by the corporation to carry out its goals–just like the corporate capital, physical plant, intellectual property, etc.

    All of which is fine by me. The problem is when we allow them to be more powerful than people, which is the situation we have today.

  86. 86.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    @Cris (without an H): Yes, but do you really agree that a lobbyist lobbying on behalf of the Nurse’s Union (normal people working a normal wage) is the same as a lobbyist lobbying on behalf of the Business Roundtable?

    I think it’s more likely that lobbyists from the FIRE sector get actual legislative text inserted to bills than those from Nurse”s Unions.

    Sure, they’re all human beings, but some of them are lobbying for assholes who just want more money through a rigged system.

  87. 87.

    japa21

    August 11, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Okay, part of the money Romney makes goes to feed his dog. Therefore Romney is a dog too.

  88. 88.

    Jenny

    August 11, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    @Cris (without an H): But Hillary was wrong. They don’t represent corporations that employ a lot of people, they represent the shareholders who only want to make money. When a corporation closes a plant in the US and ships the jobs to China, those lobbyists will fight to fire the people.

  89. 89.

    different church-lady

    August 11, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    You cut off the rest of the quote:

    Human beings! Evenly distributed! One for you, one for me! Two for you, one two for me! Three for you, one two three for me! Completely equitable! Even Steven!

  90. 90.

    Cris (without an H)

    August 11, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    @singfoom: Well said, the big trouble with Clinton’s statement was that she put the corporate lobby on the same level as the public interest lobby. Same mechanism, definitely not the same intent.

  91. 91.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    @Citizen_X: A fair distinction. I won’t argue with what you’ve said.

  92. 92.

    ...now I try to be amused

    August 11, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Though, given the current makeup of SCOTUS, it would be highly unlikely. They’d probably come down in the majority with “Not only are corporations are people, but they’re super people and can do no wrong, so no more suing a corporation, ok?”

    I kinda wish the Supreme Court would hand down a decision that was written that baldly. Make it crystal clear to everyone so the backlash can finally begin. It took Dred Scott to end slavery, and all that.

  93. 93.

    rikyrah

    August 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    this was truly Mittens being Mittens.

    you can’t be shocked.

    THIS is who he is

  94. 94.

    Sanjuro

    August 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    I will concede that corporations are people when they pay taxes at the same tax rates as people and not use any “business” tax loopholes but are restricted to only those loopholes that are available to people.

  95. 95.

    Linnaeus

    August 11, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    The problem with corporations (at least for profit ones) is that they are only for profit…no other value is allowed to interfere with profit. Not employing people, not developing new products to make people’s lives better…only profit. If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    Isn’t this, more or less, capitalism? Sure, some firms are less ruthless than others, but in the end, it’s about maximizing profit. Employing people and developing products are means to that end.

  96. 96.

    Bex

    August 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    @Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937:”The second coming of John McCain.” Yeah. Right down to the “my friends” line.

  97. 97.

    jayjaybear

    August 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    “Whose pockets? People’s pockets!”

    It sounds like an 80s Wendy’s commercial…

  98. 98.

    Tonal Crow

    August 11, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    “Photons are people, my friend,” Romney said. “Of course they are. Everything photons do on earth eventually becomes people. Where do you think it goes? Whose bodies? Whose bodies? People’s bodies. Human beings.”

    Fixed.

    Also, “My friend”. This is superexponentialicious news for John McCain. And for Moosebrains.

  99. 99.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    August 11, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    @japa21:

    Okay, part of the money Romney makes goes to feed his dog buy toilet paper. Therefore Romney is a dog an asswipe too.

    Fix’t.

  100. 100.

    jayjaybear

    August 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    @japa21: If he’s a dog, he’d better hope the universe really doesn’t run on karma…

  101. 101.

    Ben Cisco

    August 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    @jl:

    or at least Magog

    An Andromeda reference. You really can see anything on this blog.

  102. 102.

    Ben Cisco

    August 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    @Tonal Crow:

    Everything photons do on earth eventually becomes people. Where do you think it goes?

    Torpedoes?

  103. 103.

    singfoom

    August 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    @Linnaeus: I would agree that this is more or less capitalism. I think the problem is this is kind of laissez faire capitalism.

    Personally, I would prefer our capitalism to be a little less red in tooth & claw. You can encourage innovation and drive the economy at the same time as protecting individuals rights, privacy and the environment.

    Unless of course, you’re a follower of free-market Jesus. Then, any attempt to restrain the bad consequences of capitalism is bad and kill jobs.

  104. 104.

    Linnaeus

    August 11, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    @singfoom:

    Sure, I get it (and I wasn’t being facetious in my earlier comment). Capitalism is what we have now, and we have to deal with that. I think there’s an inherent tension between capitalism and democracy because of capitalism’s tendency to, unchecked, concentrate wealth which allows for a corruption of democracy. And that’s because the central goal of a firm under capitalism is to maximize its profit. So a little socialism here and there is necessary, at the very least.

    But I doubt that’s very controversial here at BJ.

  105. 105.

    dexter

    August 11, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    If corporations were people BP would be doing twenty years in a maximum secdurity making kevlar body armor for eight cents an hour.

  106. 106.

    FlipYrWhig

    August 11, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    @Daulnay:

    By Romney’s logic, governments are people too.

    That’s actually a good point. I think many, many Republicans would be shocked to discover that when you cut “government spending,” you’re actually putting the people the government helps, and those it employs, on the chopping block. They don’t see it that way because they view the government as a graft machine taking their Hard Earned Tax Dollars. They don’t believe that governments “are” people.

  107. 107.

    cckids

    August 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    See, this is what the “official” from the administration meant when they said that Romney is weird. Not a code word for “EEK MORMON”! like Chris Matthews was going on about. Romney has odd, offputting interpersonal skills. Reminds me of Data from Star Trek, Next Gen. but much less charming and real. As if he is constantly reminding himself how to act “human”.

  108. 108.

    Shinobi

    August 11, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    Well fox news says Romney was just ambushed by those evil liberals who forced the Mittster to claim that corporations are people.

  109. 109.

    Draylon Hogg

    August 11, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    If you won’t drink coffee because a 19th century charalatan prohibited it then to paraphrase R.P. McMurphy, you’re something of a c#nt ain’t you?

  110. 110.

    FlipYrWhig

    August 11, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    @cckids:

    Reminds me of Data from Star Trek, Next Gen.

    Or the holographic doctor from Voyager.

  111. 111.

    J. Michael Neal

    August 11, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Imagine for a moment if a Democrat said, “Unions are people, my friend.”

    Of course, that’s exactly what Romney said. Unions are

    . . . wait for it . . .

    corporations.

  112. 112.

    J. Michael Neal

    August 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    @scav:

    oh no, not another campaign littered with “my friend”s . . . ow ow ow ow ow ow

    See, I read Mitt’s quote differently. He wasn’t saying, “Corporations are people,” to a friend, pretend or otherwise. He was saying, “Corporations are people, they’re my friends.”

  113. 113.

    djork

    August 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    This is great news for John McCain, LLC!!!!!

  114. 114.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    August 11, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    .
    .
    @Hunter Gathers:

    If corporations are people, why can’t I kick them in the balls?

    Sexist pig.

    On the other hand, everybody got an azz to kick them in, especially if by “kick” you mean [pre-censored for prude DougJ and the Thought Police Band].
    .
    .

  115. 115.

    fuckwit

    August 11, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    I’d say that corporations, if they were people, would have to have penises, and be male.

    This is because they keep fucking me in the ass. And, therefore, they must have a penis with which to fuck me in the ass. QED, corporations are male, and it is a serious bummer that I can’t kick them in the balls.

  116. 116.

    emdee

    August 11, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    GEORGE W. BUSH LET LEHMAN BROS DIE!!!!

  117. 117.

    VOR

    August 11, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    I loved it when he said “I’m not here to listen, I’m here to speak”. Just beautiful, that ought to go into a commercial.

  118. 118.

    ...now I try to be amused

    August 11, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    GEORGE W. BUSH LET LEHMAN BROS DIE!

    It would have been fun to watch the officers of Enron get tried for murder. If 401(k) portfolios count as people too, mass murder! Bonus!

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