Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You cannot shame the shameless.

No one could have predicted…

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about its history.”

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

In after Baud. Damn.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

“woke” is the new caravan.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

Let there be snark.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

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Reader Interactions

118Comments

  4. 4.

    Violet

    @GeneJockey:
    Oh, please, someone make a Photochop of Soylent Green and Romney. Please!

    Everything corporations earn eventually go to people.

    Or a person. Like the CEO.

  6. 6.

    RP

    Corporations Are People – Free to Be You and Me
    Performed by Harry Belafonte, Marlo Thomas, and Mitt Romney

    Corporations are people, people with money
    When corporations were little, they used to be partnerships
    Like some of you, but then they grew
    And now Corporations are people, people with lobbyists
    Busy with offshore accounts, and things that they do
    There are a lot of things a lot of corporations are legally permitted to do

    Some corporations are defense contractors, or chemical makers
    Or health care providers or mortgage backed security sellers
    Some corporations fly airplanes, or sell some TVs
    Yeah, corporations can be almost anything they want to be

    Well, they can’t be governments, accountable to the citizens

    Goverments are people, people with citizens
    When governments were little, they used to be communities
    Like some of you, but then they grew
    And now Governments are people, people with citizens
    Busy creating a stable society, and things that they do
    There are a lot of things a lot of governments can and should do

    Some governments protect us, or put out the fires
    Or pave the roads, or punish liars
    Some governments keep markets open, or defend your rights
    Yeah, governments have an important role in our society

  7. 7.

    Ken

    People’s pockets. Human beings.

    Oh, suddenly we’re back to people means human beings? Because the big cash piles that most of the larger corporations are sitting on aren’t in human pockets, they’re in other corporation’s pockets.

  10. 10.

    Tonybrown74

    @cleek:

    trickle-down applies to corporations, too!

    Ugh! Trickle down economics. Just the most insulting [sounding] fiscal policy ever!

    Sounds like someone is peeing on you, like it’s supposed to be a good thing.

  11. 11.

    singfoom

    To be fair, he is accurate. Corporations are made up of people. People are on the boards and in the corner offices and in the IT cubicles and elsewhere.

    However, once you make that distinction, you need to also make the distinction that at the current time and space that the USA occupies, corporations have more rights than NORMAL human being citizens, due to their incredible amount of wealth and their limited liability when compared to normal living breathing human beings.

  13. 13.

    Cat Lady

    This is why the Gooper primaries and debates are going to be so great. There’ll be shit like this to keep us entertained 24/7, and Romney is the least crazy.

  14. 14.

    wrb

    Mormons believe that corporations are people?

    What a weird religion.

    So many theological questions are raised.

  16. 16.

    Hunter Gathers

    What’s hilarious is that Sully thinks that Mittens did alright for the duration of that exchange, except for the ‘corporations are people’ part. I watched the whole exchange, and thought Willard was going to start balling, screaming ‘Leave the Job Creators Alone!’

  17. 17.

    piratedan

    yes, Corporations are like Mormons, they marry you when they hire you and when you’re fired, its just like getting a divorce, see? Also, they have really good lawyers, so they get to keep everything you ever brought into the marriage too. TY Mitt for clearing that up for me.

  19. 19.

    Brachiator

    “Corporations are people, my friend,”

    Just can’t get that Sex Pistols song out of my head.

    God save the queen
    she ain’t no human being.

  21. 21.

    Mark S.

    Mitt will reverse himself eight times on this issue and wonder why voters don’t trust him.

  22. 22.

    cleek

    a corporation can’t be a person, because a corporation will never die if people continue to nurture it. it can last forever, given the proper filing of paperwork. they’re more like cacti.

  27. 27.

    trollhattan

    When Romney was all busy buying out and dismantling corporations, did he realize he was ripping the limbs off “people” or was this a more recent discovery?

    Just axin’.

  29. 29.

    Kane

    First question for tonight’s debate: Do you agree with Romney that corporatio­ns are people, or do you agree with President Obama who says that corporatio­ns are not people?

    That should stir things up.

  30. 30.

    Yevgraf

    Was it me, or did anybody else detect a note of hysteria in his speech?

    The GOP bench isn’t real deep this year – hell, even the starters are only 1 and 2 star recruits.

    The 3 and 4 star folks are all sitting out the season as redshirts.

  31. 31.

    singfoom

    Again, he is relatively accurate. I think his actual point if flubbed on the delivery, is accurate. Corporations are made up of people.

    Corporations are also legal “people”. So he’s accurate. But the anger on the crowd’s side is justified, as corporations are not called to account for their actions like normal people are.

    They also have limited liability (depending on the type of corporation) and their incredible concentrations of wealth make them actually a kind of super people that are more important to our current political and judicial system than a normal person.

    TL;DR. Mitt is accurate, but he really flubbed his point, and the people are angry about the titled tables of justice/politics in regards to corporations.

  34. 34.

    Bruce S

    “To be fair, he is accurate. Corporations are made up of people.”

    Who are relieved of personal responsibility – in fact mandated to ignore the manifest complexities of individual “personhood” – to act in concert in their “corporate personas” with a single goal of maximizing the organization’s profitability, while largely sidestepping any of the moral or legal hazard borne by individual people if they were doing essentially the same things without cover of incorporation. (One example is the notion that any entities other than corporations could claim property with as shady dealings as the “robosignings” without an actual person going to jail.) And that’s not even getting to the concentration and power of huge piles of money, beyond the dreams of most of us as mere people.

  35. 35.

    trollhattan

    @Yevgraf:

    Was it me, or did anybody else detect a note of hysteria in his speech?

    Poor sod is suffering from too much pork-chop-on-a-stick.

  36. 36.

    wrb

    @Violet:

    The Supreme Court did say corporations are people, right?

    It is totally weird. The headnotes to Santa Clara v. Southern Pacific RR
    erroneously stated that the decision said that they are people. Then came a long line of decisions based on those erroneous headnotes.

    A whole lotta our troubles started with them

  37. 37.

    Cat Lady

    @efgoldman:

    I don’t think Mitt meant public corporations that have responsibilities to file stuff that regular people can see and are held accountable. He means like that little LLC that popped up, gave him a cool mill, then went poof. Only those corporations are people.

  39. 39.

    singfoom

    @Bruce S: Right, and I noted that in my comment. Given the current political and judicial climate, I consider corporations First-Tier citizens, since they can avoid responsibility and use their enormous speech (I mean campaign contributions) to rig our political system in their favor, making normal human beings (that aren’t super rich) Second-Tier citizens.

  40. 40.

    Rhoda

    This is awesome. The repetition is what kills me; “whose pockets? whose pockets?”

    God damn, you can see the pictures spliced through his words.

    The ad writes itself.

  41. 41.

    scav

    oh no, not another campaign littered with “my friend”s . . . ow ow ow ow ow ow

    at least I don’t think it creates a sort of winning aural imagery in itself.

    (and one can hope for all sorts of “Is X a person too?” heckling in future.)

  45. 45.

    Kane

    I wonder if the hecklers in the crowd are troops from fellow republican camps or if it’s democrats having fun.

  46. 46.

    Bruce S

    Honestly, I hate the Mittster much more than I loathe Bachmann. She’s actually nuts. It’s a feature, not a flaw. Given that, Romney lacks her substance. The Mittster is giving all of those empty suits on the rack at Men’s Wearhouse a bad name.

  47. 47.

    singfoom

    @Judas Escargot: Indeed, and as a lowly peasant in these times, I have to tithe fees to financial institutions that I find odious, but if I do not, I cannot receive the blessing of the sacred credit.

  49. 49.

    jl

    And by that reasoning, when at Bain, Mitt Romney killed ‘people’ for money? Our first Murderer’s Row president?

    (Except for the Hillbillerys, of course, but they were Democrats, and therefore part of the AnitChrist, or at least Magog)

  50. 50.

    Dee Loralei

    @RP: hahah that’s brilliant!

    I gotta say the entire comment section of this blog has been a riot today! Thanks everyone!

    Oh, and if anyone wants to read a great take-down of The Mustache of Understandings latest wankery, get thee to The Reality Based Community. Hie thee with a quickness. I’ve been giggling about that all day.

  51. 51.

    bemused

    @efgoldman:
    I guess I am unaware of a time when he may have had principles.
    Romney probably does have a higher IQ than Perry but I think he is incredibly awkward and clueless when he glad hands with folks who aren’t in his world.
    Plus he is just plain weird.

  55. 55.

    ...now I try to be amused

    If corporations are people, why can’t I kick them in the balls?

    Or throw them in jail?

  56. 56.

    FlipYrWhig

    Hey, Mitt. See, here’s the thing. Some of those corporation people make a ridiculously large amount of money. I know that corporations are made of people. It’s just that a lot of those people are douchebags.

  57. 57.

    Rhoda

    The best part of the video is the laughter. Seriously, you just run that clip straight through on TV; it’s devastating. And it needs no context.

  59. 59.

    Villago Delenda Est

    The problem with corporations (at least for profit ones) is that they are only for profit…no other value is allowed to interfere with profit. Not employing people, not developing new products to make people’s lives better…only profit. If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    Romney doesn’t see anything wrong with that. Which is why he’s evil.

  61. 61.

    Jenny

    @bemused:

    Romney probably does have a higher IQ than Perry

    It’s hard to tell because Mitt has had everything handed to him because of his rich, connected daddy, and his mannequin looks.

  62. 62.

    ppcli

    So, like, when that buddy of Romney’s from the Bain Capitol days formed a corporation, used it to anonymously donate a million simoleons to Romney’s campaign, and then *dissolved* the corporation, it was a cold-blooded murder to silence a witness? Is there no limit to what this man will do to become President?

  63. 63.

    Violet

    @trollhattan:

    Poor sod is suffering from too much pork-chop-on-a-stick.

    I think one of the Republican candidates should get the nickname pork-chop-on-a-stick. Mittens is the obvious choice since he’s the one talking about it, but Newt really seems like a better fit. Romney seems more like Pringles in a can.

  64. 64.

    ...now I try to be amused

    The problem with corporations (at least for profit ones) is that they are only for profit…no other value is allowed to interfere with profit. Not employing people, not developing new products to make people’s lives better…only profit. If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    As best I can tell, most of the exceptions to this rule are still controlled by their founders, not the bean-counters that take over after a corporation goes public. Funny how they also tend to be more successful than bean-counter corporations.

    Mitt is a bean-counter. Call him that early and often, and voters will know what you’re talking about.

  65. 65.

    Jay in Oregon

    Funny, I’ve never met a person who could split parts of themselves off into separate people for the purpose of letting one take a proverbial bullet or, I dunno, make a $1 million donation to a presidential candidate’s coffers before falling over dead.

    Do you think that will happen if I legally change my name to add an “LLC” to the end?

    EDIT: And @ppcli beat me to it.

  67. 67.

    Judas Escargot

    @ppcli:

    So, like, when that buddy of Romney’s from the Bain Capitol days formed a corporation, used it to anonymously donate a million simoleons to Romney’s campaign, and then dissolved the corporation, it was a cold-blooded murder to silence a witness?

    Yes.

  69. 69.

    liberal

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    Not completely true. The top corporate officers manage to inflate their compensation at the expense of profit.

  71. 71.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    .
    .
    “Pigs are people too. All those pigs on farms eventually go to people. Where do you think they go? Whose stomachs? Whose stomachs? People’s stomachs. Human beings.” Mr. Romney, you are a pig.
    .
    .

  72. 72.

    ChrisNYC

    Man … watching the long version of this Iowa fair thing, Romney has a condescension problem. He talks to that crowd, admittedly seeded with antagonists, like they are kindergarteners. Disturbing CEO-ish “this is not a democracy” feeling to it. Sort of like all he has to do is say something and voila, people are bound to agree. Zero interest in persuading or charming or cajoling. It’s such a weird (ha!) combo with his “please please like me” vibe.

  73. 73.

    Bokonon

    And just like a person, a corporation can be born, make a massive political campaign contribution to Mitt Romney’s, and then promptly commit suicide.

    Right, Mitt?

    Corporations are people too. They are just more equal than other people.

  74. 74.

    trollhattan

    @Violet:

    I think one of the Republican candidates should get the nickname pork-chop-on-a-stick. Mittens is the obvious choice since he’s the one talking about it, but Newt really seems like a better fit. Romney seems more like Pringles in a can.

    It would fit Newton to a tee, but might have to be modified some: pork-chop-on-a-stickreally-stout-pole

  75. 75.

    pragmatism

    if i would have known this, i may have married a well off corporation. slog it out for a few years and rely on the community property settlement.

  76. 76.

    amk

    So then, people can marry corporations ? And in mittens’ case, multiple corporations ?/(via dkos)

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    @singfoom:

    Imagine for a moment if a Democrat said, “Unions are people, my friend.”

    S/he would be equally right, but the shrieking on Fox News would never, ever stop.

  80. 80.

    singfoom

    Maybe now is a good time to revist Santa Clara County vs. Southern Pacific Railroad and recognize that the headnote is not actually part of the decision and remove corporate personhood from our legal system alltogether.

    Though, given the current makeup of SCOTUS, it would be highly unlikely. They’d probably come down in the majority with “Not only are corporations are people, but they’re super people and can do no wrong, so no more suing a corporation, ok?”

  81. 81.

    Daulnay

    By Romney’s logic, governments are people too. Someone’s not able to categorize clearly. All the governments and corporations I know can’t move an inch – they’re plants, not animals, and therefore can’t be people. Vicious, blood-sucking plants, but plants. None of them can do a bit of harm unless they have the help of real, flesh-and-blood people.

  82. 82.

    singfoom

    @Mnemosyne: Yes, this is true. I just want to point out the knee jerk reaction is less than accurate.

    Also, it would be worse. I can hear the talking heads on Fox. “Now, blah blah said that unions are people, too. Well, they’re thugs, and thugs aren’t the kind of people that belong in Real ‘Murka.”

    ETA: Regardless of anything, the shrieking at FoxNews never does stop and never will.

  83. 83.

    Bokonon

    If corporations is people too, does that means that Mitt Romney was engaged in slavery back when he was in the venture capital business? You know, when he was was buying and selling corporations all the time?

    How about white slavery? Assult and battery? Cannibalism? Murder?

    OMG! The guy is a criminal!

  84. 84.

    Cris (without an H)

    @Mnemosyne: Imagine for a moment if a Democrat said, “Unions are people, my friend.”

    Somewhat related: remember Hillary Clinton saying

    A lot of those lobbyists, whether you like it or not, represent real Americans. They represent nurses, they represent social workers, yes, they represent corporations that employ a lot of people.

    I thought this was a great point, and I found it unbelievably petty of Clinton’s critics to seize upon it.

  85. 85.

    Citizen_X

    @singfoom:

    Corporations are made up of people.

    No, they’re not. (Even if, arguably, they have the rights of people). Corporations are legal entities created specifically to separate their owners from liability for the corporation’s actions. Corporations are owned by people, and they employ people. But the employees are not permanent parts of the corporation, they are instruments used by the corporation to carry out its goals–just like the corporate capital, physical plant, intellectual property, etc.

    All of which is fine by me. The problem is when we allow them to be more powerful than people, which is the situation we have today.

  86. 86.

    singfoom

    @Cris (without an H): Yes, but do you really agree that a lobbyist lobbying on behalf of the Nurse’s Union (normal people working a normal wage) is the same as a lobbyist lobbying on behalf of the Business Roundtable?

    I think it’s more likely that lobbyists from the FIRE sector get actual legislative text inserted to bills than those from Nurse”s Unions.

    Sure, they’re all human beings, but some of them are lobbying for assholes who just want more money through a rigged system.

  88. 88.

    Jenny

    @Cris (without an H): But Hillary was wrong. They don’t represent corporations that employ a lot of people, they represent the shareholders who only want to make money. When a corporation closes a plant in the US and ships the jobs to China, those lobbyists will fight to fire the people.

  89. 89.

    different church-lady

    You cut off the rest of the quote:

    Human beings! Evenly distributed! One for you, one for me! Two for you, one two for me! Three for you, one two three for me! Completely equitable! Even Steven!

  92. 92.

    ...now I try to be amused

    Though, given the current makeup of SCOTUS, it would be highly unlikely. They’d probably come down in the majority with “Not only are corporations are people, but they’re super people and can do no wrong, so no more suing a corporation, ok?”

    I kinda wish the Supreme Court would hand down a decision that was written that baldly. Make it crystal clear to everyone so the backlash can finally begin. It took Dred Scott to end slavery, and all that.

  94. 94.

    Sanjuro

    I will concede that corporations are people when they pay taxes at the same tax rates as people and not use any “business” tax loopholes but are restricted to only those loopholes that are available to people.

  95. 95.

    Linnaeus

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    The problem with corporations (at least for profit ones) is that they are only for profit…no other value is allowed to interfere with profit. Not employing people, not developing new products to make people’s lives better…only profit. If other goals don’t get in the way of profit, they can be pursued, but if they do, they MUST be discarded or anyone who objects, and is employed by that corporation, is expendable.

    Isn’t this, more or less, capitalism? Sure, some firms are less ruthless than others, but in the end, it’s about maximizing profit. Employing people and developing products are means to that end.

  98. 98.

    Tonal Crow

    “Photons are people, my friend,” Romney said. “Of course they are. Everything photons do on earth eventually becomes people. Where do you think it goes? Whose bodies? Whose bodies? People’s bodies. Human beings.”

    Fixed.

    Also, “My friend”. This is superexponentialicious news for John McCain. And for Moosebrains.

  99. 99.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @japa21:

    Okay, part of the money Romney makes goes to feed his dog buy toilet paper. Therefore Romney is a dog an asswipe too.

    Fix’t.

  103. 103.

    singfoom

    @Linnaeus: I would agree that this is more or less capitalism. I think the problem is this is kind of laissez faire capitalism.

    Personally, I would prefer our capitalism to be a little less red in tooth & claw. You can encourage innovation and drive the economy at the same time as protecting individuals rights, privacy and the environment.

    Unless of course, you’re a follower of free-market Jesus. Then, any attempt to restrain the bad consequences of capitalism is bad and kill jobs.

  104. 104.

    Linnaeus

    @singfoom:

    Sure, I get it (and I wasn’t being facetious in my earlier comment). Capitalism is what we have now, and we have to deal with that. I think there’s an inherent tension between capitalism and democracy because of capitalism’s tendency to, unchecked, concentrate wealth which allows for a corruption of democracy. And that’s because the central goal of a firm under capitalism is to maximize its profit. So a little socialism here and there is necessary, at the very least.

    But I doubt that’s very controversial here at BJ.

  105. 105.

    dexter

    If corporations were people BP would be doing twenty years in a maximum secdurity making kevlar body armor for eight cents an hour.

  106. 106.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Daulnay:

    By Romney’s logic, governments are people too.

    That’s actually a good point. I think many, many Republicans would be shocked to discover that when you cut “government spending,” you’re actually putting the people the government helps, and those it employs, on the chopping block. They don’t see it that way because they view the government as a graft machine taking their Hard Earned Tax Dollars. They don’t believe that governments “are” people.

  107. 107.

    cckids

    See, this is what the “official” from the administration meant when they said that Romney is weird. Not a code word for “EEK MORMON”! like Chris Matthews was going on about. Romney has odd, offputting interpersonal skills. Reminds me of Data from Star Trek, Next Gen. but much less charming and real. As if he is constantly reminding himself how to act “human”.

  109. 109.

    Draylon Hogg

    If you won’t drink coffee because a 19th century charalatan prohibited it then to paraphrase R.P. McMurphy, you’re something of a c#nt ain’t you?

  111. 111.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Mnemosyne:

    Imagine for a moment if a Democrat said, “Unions are people, my friend.”

    Of course, that’s exactly what Romney said. Unions are

    . . . wait for it . . .

    corporations.

  112. 112.

    J. Michael Neal

    @scav:

    oh no, not another campaign littered with “my friend”s . . . ow ow ow ow ow ow

    See, I read Mitt’s quote differently. He wasn’t saying, “Corporations are people,” to a friend, pretend or otherwise. He was saying, “Corporations are people, they’re my friends.”

  114. 114.

    Uncle Clarence Thomas

    .
    .
    @Hunter Gathers:

    If corporations are people, why can’t I kick them in the balls?

    Sexist pig.

    On the other hand, everybody got an azz to kick them in, especially if by “kick” you mean [pre-censored for prude DougJ and the Thought Police Band].
    .
    .

  115. 115.

    fuckwit

    I’d say that corporations, if they were people, would have to have penises, and be male.

    This is because they keep fucking me in the ass. And, therefore, they must have a penis with which to fuck me in the ass. QED, corporations are male, and it is a serious bummer that I can’t kick them in the balls.

  117. 117.

    VOR

    I loved it when he said “I’m not here to listen, I’m here to speak”. Just beautiful, that ought to go into a commercial.

  118. 118.

    ...now I try to be amused

    GEORGE W. BUSH LET LEHMAN BROS DIE!

    It would have been fun to watch the officers of Enron get tried for murder. If 401(k) portfolios count as people too, mass murder! Bonus!

Comments are closed.