Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dear legacy media: you are not here to influence outcomes and policies you find desirable.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Our messy unity will be our strength.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

T R E 4 5 O N

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

You are here: Home / Science & Technology / It’s a Long Dark Highway and a Thin White Line

It’s a Long Dark Highway and a Thin White Line

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I had a friend who used to say that the problem with communication in relationships is that once you started communicating, you realized how little you had in common and how much the other person pissed you off. I thought of my friend when reading the FAQ at theicebreak, a new relationship site that fuses components from Facebook, Internet gaming and Yahoo Finance:

What are Icebreakers?
Icebreakers are questions designed to spark conversation between you and your partner. You can answer them and send your answers to each other privately, as well as see anonymous responses from other couples.
What are Moments?
Moments are a way to share a bit of your day while you’re apart from each other. Use our prompts or your own imagination to capture something that catches your attention, then send a message or a photo to your sweetie and make a connection. All of your moments are saved on a shared wall that only you two can see, creating an online scrapbook of your relationship that you can enjoy later.
What are Stats?
theicebreak asks you to rate your satisfaction with a few key areas of your relationship each week. Your answers over time can help you see how you’re doing compared to previous weeks and to the stats of similar couples.
How do I earn Date Night Coins?
You earn them by capturing Moments, answering Icebreakers and updating your weekly status.

I’m not the world’s biggest romantic, but even I can see that plotting my feelings for my one true love on a candlestick chart and turning dates into a way to cash in on gold farming just might take some of the spontaneity and thrill out of a relationship.

Reader Interactions

30Comments

  1. 1.

    Nethead Jay

    Fuck, that is awful. Whoever came up with that should be thwapped upside his stupid head (or her but I doubt that).

    Also, great title. DougJ-worthy.

  3. 3.

    jeffreyw

    theicebreak asks you to rate your satisfaction with a few key areas of your relationship each week. Your answers over time can help you see how you’re doing compared to previous weeks and to the stats of similar couples.

    “So…how am I doing, on a scale of 1 to 10?”
    “You should die in a fire you pretentious bastard!”
    “So..I’ll put that down as a five?”

  5. 5.

    The Other Bob

    Now if someone can invent devices that hook to our computers and then hook to….well, our “devices”, couples will be able to have sex and not even have to live in the same city.

  6. 6.

    MikeJ

    The person who came up with this idea is the kind of person who uses the word “monetize”.

  11. 11.

    Alex S.

    Funny. We’ve had a couple of posts that deal with the monetization of romance already. Looking at love as an economic opportunity reminds me of marriage before the modern times. This is another thing the Wall Street guys and social conservatives have in common.

  17. 17.

    Violet

    I looked around the site and there’s nothing about what one can do with Date Night Coins. So I Googled it. According to Mashable,

    Activities like these can garner you “Date Night Coins,” which you can use for deals in later iterations of the site.

    Deals? WTF? Is this some kind of love-based Groupon or something? “Save 50% at the Applebee’s salad bar! Only 20 Date Night Coins!”

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    Equating the score your real-life relationship gets on Theicebreak with its actual strength and viability sounds very much like someone we all know equating her IQ test score with the level of intelligence she actually displays in her comments.

  20. 20.

    Shinobi

    I’m pretty sure the only response I’d ever get from my partner would be along the lines of: “I put on my robe and wizard hat.”

  21. 21.

    Paul in KY

    @Amir Khalid: Better watch out, that kind of comment might trigger whatever software she uses to know when someone’s talking about her (or DeBore/Kain have posted something).

  23. 23.

    Shinobi

    @Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal: If you know couples who do this you should stop knowing them. I certainly don’t know any couple over age 13 who would go anywhere in a matching outfit. If I did, I would only be aware of them through a red haze of scorn and derision.

  24. 24.

    RalfW

    If that becomes a popular site, then I think global warming should just hurry up and kill us all quick.

  28. 28.

    Ken

    This reinforces a realization I had during the opening five minutes of The Social Network: social networking sites are for people who can reduce their social interactions to one of six pulldown menu items.

    Or if not can reduce, want to reduce – which is a whole nother can of worms.

  29. 29.

    Anoniminous

    A small, but not insignificant, percentage of the population using the internets need to turn off their computer and kill themselves and Get. A. Life.

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