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You are here: Home / Science & Technology / It’s a Long Dark Highway and a Thin White Line

It’s a Long Dark Highway and a Thin White Line

by $8 blue check mistermix|  August 12, 20118:07 am| 30 Comments

This post is in: Science & Technology

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I had a friend who used to say that the problem with communication in relationships is that once you started communicating, you realized how little you had in common and how much the other person pissed you off. I thought of my friend when reading the FAQ at theicebreak, a new relationship site that fuses components from Facebook, Internet gaming and Yahoo Finance:

What are Icebreakers?
Icebreakers are questions designed to spark conversation between you and your partner. You can answer them and send your answers to each other privately, as well as see anonymous responses from other couples.
What are Moments?
Moments are a way to share a bit of your day while you’re apart from each other. Use our prompts or your own imagination to capture something that catches your attention, then send a message or a photo to your sweetie and make a connection. All of your moments are saved on a shared wall that only you two can see, creating an online scrapbook of your relationship that you can enjoy later.
What are Stats?
theicebreak asks you to rate your satisfaction with a few key areas of your relationship each week. Your answers over time can help you see how you’re doing compared to previous weeks and to the stats of similar couples.
How do I earn Date Night Coins?
You earn them by capturing Moments, answering Icebreakers and updating your weekly status.

I’m not the world’s biggest romantic, but even I can see that plotting my feelings for my one true love on a candlestick chart and turning dates into a way to cash in on gold farming just might take some of the spontaneity and thrill out of a relationship.

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Reader Interactions

30Comments

  1. 1.

    Nethead Jay

    August 12, 2011 at 8:20 am

    Fuck, that is awful. Whoever came up with that should be thwapped upside his stupid head (or her but I doubt that).

    Also, great title. DougJ-worthy.

  2. 2.

    WereBear

    August 12, 2011 at 8:20 am

    You just love me for the Date Night Coins!

  3. 3.

    jeffreyw

    August 12, 2011 at 8:26 am

    theicebreak asks you to rate your satisfaction with a few key areas of your relationship each week. Your answers over time can help you see how you’re doing compared to previous weeks and to the stats of similar couples.

    “So…how am I doing, on a scale of 1 to 10?”
    “You should die in a fire you pretentious bastard!”
    “So..I’ll put that down as a five?”

  4. 4.

    Joseph Nobles

    August 12, 2011 at 8:26 am

    This scheme should be fed to this dragon:

    http://youtu.be/tQMGkeV5qIE

  5. 5.

    The Other Bob

    August 12, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Now if someone can invent devices that hook to our computers and then hook to….well, our “devices”, couples will be able to have sex and not even have to live in the same city.

  6. 6.

    MikeJ

    August 12, 2011 at 8:27 am

    The person who came up with this idea is the kind of person who uses the word “monetize”.

  7. 7.

    Worked2Death

    August 12, 2011 at 8:33 am

    “I whip out my Wizard hat and…”

  8. 8.

    lacp

    August 12, 2011 at 8:38 am

    @Worked2Death: Haven’t had enough coffee. I read that as “I whip out my lizard…” and realized something was wrong.

  9. 9.

    beltane

    August 12, 2011 at 8:38 am

    This sounds like something David Brooks would approve of.

  10. 10.

    R-Jud

    August 12, 2011 at 8:38 am

    @The Other Bob: Teledildonics. The future is now.

  11. 11.

    Alex S.

    August 12, 2011 at 8:39 am

    Funny. We’ve had a couple of posts that deal with the monetization of romance already. Looking at love as an economic opportunity reminds me of marriage before the modern times. This is another thing the Wall Street guys and social conservatives have in common.

  12. 12.

    MattF

    August 12, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Whole new category of paraphilia.

  13. 13.

    Maude

    August 12, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Anything to make a buck.

  14. 14.

    Luthe

    August 12, 2011 at 8:51 am

    @Worked2Death: A wizard’s staff has a knob on the end.

  15. 15.

    Gin & Tonic

    August 12, 2011 at 8:56 am

    The missing last question: How many Date Night Coins do I need to get a blow job?

  16. 16.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 12, 2011 at 9:07 am

    @Gin & Tonic: Use an Icebreaker to find out.

  17. 17.

    Violet

    August 12, 2011 at 9:08 am

    I looked around the site and there’s nothing about what one can do with Date Night Coins. So I Googled it. According to Mashable,

    Activities like these can garner you “Date Night Coins,” which you can use for deals in later iterations of the site.

    Deals? WTF? Is this some kind of love-based Groupon or something? “Save 50% at the Applebee’s salad bar! Only 20 Date Night Coins!”

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    August 12, 2011 at 9:11 am

    Equating the score your real-life relationship gets on Theicebreak with its actual strength and viability sounds very much like someone we all know equating her IQ test score with the level of intelligence she actually displays in her comments.

  19. 19.

    Marc

    August 12, 2011 at 9:35 am

    McArdle is a testimonial on the limitations of IQ tests.

  20. 20.

    Shinobi

    August 12, 2011 at 10:21 am

    I’m pretty sure the only response I’d ever get from my partner would be along the lines of: “I put on my robe and wizard hat.”

  21. 21.

    Paul in KY

    August 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

    @Amir Khalid: Better watch out, that kind of comment might trigger whatever software she uses to know when someone’s talking about her (or DeBore/Kain have posted something).

  22. 22.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    August 12, 2011 at 10:35 am

    couples compete in the meatspace to be more coupley than other couples all the time. this is just the online equivalent of matching outfits, tattoos, and shiny jackets with dragon prints that continue from one jacket to the next.

  23. 23.

    Shinobi

    August 12, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal: If you know couples who do this you should stop knowing them. I certainly don’t know any couple over age 13 who would go anywhere in a matching outfit. If I did, I would only be aware of them through a red haze of scorn and derision.

  24. 24.

    RalfW

    August 12, 2011 at 10:46 am

    If that becomes a popular site, then I think global warming should just hurry up and kill us all quick.

  25. 25.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    August 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    @Amir Khalid: You clearly just hate Muslims.

  26. 26.

    FlyingToaster

    August 12, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    @Shinobi: Except for costume parties and airports, where matching or coordination in clothing can be essential.

    Actually, HerrDoktor and I and WarriorGirl have a few matching T-shirts, usually commemorating local weirdness. Like French Toast Alerts, LiteBritePanic, or the Aquapocalypse.

  27. 27.

    Amir Khalid

    August 12, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
    (Sigh.) She seems to think so.

  28. 28.

    Ken

    August 12, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    This reinforces a realization I had during the opening five minutes of The Social Network: social networking sites are for people who can reduce their social interactions to one of six pulldown menu items.

    Or if not can reduce, want to reduce – which is a whole nother can of worms.

  29. 29.

    Anoniminous

    August 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    A small, but not insignificant, percentage of the population using the internets need to turn off their computer and kill themselves and Get. A. Life.

  30. 30.

    Step2

    August 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    xkcd decline

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