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At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

We still have time to mess this up!

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2012 / Is That A Rocket In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Is That A Rocket In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

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“OOOOO- CAN I HOLD YOUR GUN, BIG DADDY?”

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is a leading advocate of gun rights who likes to boast of having dispatched a coyote on a recent jog, so I asked him during today’s walking press conference at the Iowa State Fair whether he was armed.

“I never comment on whether I’m carrying a handgun or not,” he said. “That’s why it’s called concealed.”

(If he was armed, he could have found himself in hot water with the state police over a ban at the fair that has rankled some local gun groups.)

Perry’s appearance at the fair, where he challenged reporters on whether they were “tough” enough to walk with him, chomped on meat and a hard-boiled egg and struck rugged poses was a well-staged political triumph. (The word “manly” got thrown around a lot, with varying degrees of irony, in the press pack.) It was also an opportunity to explore Perry’s politics, and reporters are currently transcribing their long recordings of his free-flowing comments.

We may set a world record for Ho Yay this election cycle.

Reader Interactions

63Comments

  1. 1.

    eemom

    pssst, Cole.

    If you really WANT to survive this election cycle, ur doing it wrong.

    Go bake some more bread.

  5. 5.

    abo gato

    Gotta agree with eemom, for any of us to survive this, we are all gonna have to stop looking at this train wreck. Plus, baking! Who doesn’t love something baked? I’m toasting some bread in the oven that I baked last night. Made some chicken wings on the grill, they are also in the oven, basking in the Frank’s Hot Wing sauce mixed with butter. Food time!

  7. 7.

    burnspbesq

    Rick Perry is not worthy of having Little Feat songs used to mock him.

    Wake me up before he go-goes.

  8. 8.

    Mark S.

    Is Tweety still on the air? Is he swooning over Perry? Or does he think he’s a jackass?

    I’m genuinely curious. I don’t get cable anymore and Tweety’s so bipolar you never know what he’s going to do.

  9. 9.

    Brian S

    I’ve always considered people who want concealed weapons permits to be sort of chickenshit. Wear that fucker on your hip if you want to deter a criminal.

  10. 10.

    LT

    “Perry’s appearance at the fair, where he challenged reporters on whether they were “tough” enough to walk with him…”

    At the Iowa State Fair? Fuuuuuk. Dude makes me think of the uncle in the military in Harold & Maude.

  11. 11.

    lamh34

    @Mark S.:

    IDK, but from the few times I’ve seen Tweety talk about Perry, he doesn’t seem to think much of him. He basically calls him the second coming of GWB, but I don’t think he likes him as much as he seems to like the “idea” of Bachmann. As for Romney, Tweety can’t seem to stand Mittens.

  12. 12.

    Mark S.

    @lamh34:

    I don’t think he likes him as much as he seems to like the “idea” of Bachmann.

    Oh, so he’s gone completely insane. That’s a shame.

  13. 13.

    Jenny

    …struck rugged poses was a well-staged political triumph.

    I see Ben Smith has a new set of knee pads.

    Poor Mittens. He must feel so used, now that Ben and company are taking Slick Rick to the prom.

  14. 14.

    gogol's wife

    Slightly OT, but I bought a glove with rubber protruberances that you can use to massage/brush cats, which they love. We call it the Mitt Romney. “The cats just love their Mitt Romney!”

  15. 15.

    WyldPirate

    Abo gato@5:

    Who doesn’t love something baked?
    Diabetics that want to control their blood glucose levels.

    Though Cole’s bread pics make good wanking material for an old diabetic fart like me.

  16. 16.

    burnspbesq

    @lamh34:

    Tweety is old-school. When you say the words “Massachusetts Republican” he thinks of Ed Brooke, a sensible guy with principles, and Mitt just doesn’t compute.

  17. 17.

    Ian

    If he was real ‘manly’ he woulda killed the coyote with his hands. Or he should have owned a manlier dog.

    It saddens me that having a gun on you at all times is how to get votes in Murika

  18. 18.

    bemused

    Oh gawd, another swaggering dope playing cowboy. I bet he walks like he’s got a loaded diaper too.

    I think someone here may have posted photos of Rick and George posing almost exactly flexing their arm muscles. Gag.

  20. 20.

    bemused

    @Jenny:

    I thought it had to be you after seeing your links at previous post. Excellent. Just add the great contribution from another BJ’er, “Dubya, Dubya-er” as a caption and it’s a perfect email to send around.

  22. 22.

    RareSanity

    Perry’s appearance at the fair, where he challenged reporters on whether they were “tough” enough to walk with him

    The Rickker really likes living on the edge, don’t he? I mean you gotta be a tough S.O.B. to walk around a place like the Iowa State Fair, eating meat and whatnot…

  23. 23.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Perry seems like the kind of person you can have a beer with, and then light beer farts with.

  25. 25.

    General Stuck

    Obama will discover his personal buttons in short order, and push them to watch the ensuing explosion. Macho clowns running on bluster and buffoonish antics might play well in Texas and the rest of the south, but the well scrubbed folks in the upper midwest and elsewhere won’t get it. And will mostly recoil. There was a reason GWB went with the compassionate conservative routine in his campaigns.

    I would like to have Perry as the GOP nominee, but on the other hand, in a two man POTuS race where anything can happen, and usually does, it makes it at least possible he could get elected. We could likely survive a president Romney, not so much a presnit Perry, methinks.

  26. 26.

    DonkeyKong

    You got to admit, fellating a fried stick of butter at the fair is pretty butch in a Bertolucci kind of way.

  27. 27.

    bemused

    Some of the manly commenters at Politico are offended, one telling Ben to skip a few manicures and maybe he’ll remember he was born a male. Hilarious.

  28. 28.

    dedc79

    I can’t even imagine what the gun lobby has in store for a Perry/Bachmann presidency

    Presumably legislation requiring states to allow guns at state fairs will be high on the list…

  31. 31.

    waratah

    @JPL: Here is a link for the cinnamon roll recipe you wanted. I think you need to have a bread machine that makes a 2lb. loaf, if not you can adjust the recipe at allrecipes as it might not hold all the dough.
    I use real butter in the dough and lots when I spread. They also have a cinnabon clone which I have not tried as I like old fashioned cinnamon rolls better. I also use pecans instead of walnuts

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cinnamon-rolls-ii/detail.aspx

    Cinnabon clone

    http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cinnamon-rolls-iii/detail.aspx

  32. 32.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Comrade Mary:

    What the hell in my preceding comment put me into moderation?

    The internet gods don’t want us commenters getting caught in the TVTropes black hole, that’s what.

  33. 33.

    The Dangerman

    @dedc79:

    Presumably legislation requiring states to allow guns at state fairs will be high on the list…

    You’re aiming too low; I’d say it’ll be required for everyone to carry at the State Fair (with the possible exclusion of the Fun House; all those guns and all those mirrors might be a bad mix)…

    …as well as everyplace else.

  35. 35.

    Jebediah

    I look forward to someone from our incredibly liberal-biased media asking Perry “Under what circumstances is it OK to execute an innocent person?” Given what passes for Very Serious these days, though, there might not be the political penalty I would hope for.

  36. 36.

    Martin

    Perry’s appearance at the fair, where he challenged reporters on whether they were “tough” enough to walk with him, chomped on meat and a hard-boiled egg and struck rugged poses was a well-staged political triumph.

    Eating a hard-boiled egg is manly? Call me when there’s a photo of him deep-throating a corndog. Then I’ll be impressed.

  37. 37.

    Martin

    @The Dangerman:

    You’re aiming too low; I’d say it’ll be required for everyone to carry at the State Fair

    Still too low. The state fair convict shooting gallery. State convicts stand with various trinkets balanced on them, you bring your gun and shoot them off. “We bring the convicts, you bring the fun!” Immigrant shooting gallery as well in border states.

  38. 38.

    Anya

    It kinda makes you miss Tim Russet, doesn’t it. At least he asked tough questions and confronted people with a video of their previous comments. David Gregory, Chuck Todd and the Politico gossipers are a disease that’s slowly killing America. It just astonishes me that these New York and DC pundits are impressed with the phony folksiness of Rick Perry. Do they not see what a disaster he would be for the country? Do they care so little about their country that they would exchange the future of their country for the cheep entertainment the Jesus freak and his fellow wingnuts are offering?

  39. 39.

    YellowDog

    If Perry is 61, he would have been eligible for the draft in 1968. I have heard nothing about his military service. We know he went to college. Do we have another chicken hawk who had other things to do?

  40. 40.

    Emma

    @Anya: They’re not impressed at all. They just know what if they can talk up a “real horse race” their ratings will go up and that means their lords and masters will give them more leftover tidbits.

  41. 41.

    FlipYrWhig

    If yet another campaign devolves into analyzing the connotations of the way the candidates eat various foodstuffs, I hope each and every member of the media who indulges that kind of thing meets with a uniquely gruesome Final Destination-style comeuppance.

  44. 44.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Anya:

    It just astonishes me that these New York and DC pundits are impressed with the phony folksiness of Rick Perry.

    I don’t think they’re actually impressed; instead, they think it’s so stupid that it’s just the kind of thing the even stupider yokels will surely eat right up, making the stupidity a triumphant political strategy. It’d be like fawning over Larry the Cable Guy, not because he’s funny, but because he’s so unfunny that he’s a brilliant purveyor of unfunny idiocy to morons. It’s condescension redoubled and twisted into a mobius loop.

  45. 45.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @YellowDog:

    If Perry is 61, he would have been eligible for the draft in 1968. I have heard nothing about his military service. We know he went to college. Do we have another chicken hawk who had other things to do?

    Perry was in the Hair Force.

  46. 46.

    Tuffy

    Service/branch United States Air Force
    Years of service 1972–1977
    Rank Captain

    At least click over to Wikipedia you lazy fucksticks.

  47. 47.

    Lyrebird

    @WyldPirate: Yeasties will eat up applesauce (inst of sugar) in totally-whole-grain bread dough. Won’t give the same rush, of course, but it will taste okay and make the house smell good!

  52. 52.

    Ash Can

    So what’s going to happen first — Perry gets caught with a rent boy, or shoots a piece of himself off with his concealed-carry?

  53. 53.

    cxs

    @RareSanity: Seriously. I”m more impressed by Obama walking into a stadium, a deli or hugging babies on the rope line, than I am some psuedo-cowboy strolling through a fair.

  55. 55.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Ash Can:

    So what’s going to happen first—Perry gets caught with a rent boy, or shoots a piece of himself off with his concealed-carry?

    Perry accidentally shoots his rentboy.. then claims he fighting off a sexual assault.

  58. 58.

    dww44

    @Mark S.: According to Tweety at the end of his show this evening, this past weekend the Republicans “baked the cake” and “put a Perry on top”. I don’t know whether he’s falling all over Perry, but he did spend some time talking about the triumvirate of candidates: Romney, Bachmann, and Perry, with Romney being the weakest of the three and 2/3 being a part of the Tea Party wing of the party. Had someone on who talked about how great Perry was as an actual campaigner, a real barnstormer, I think was the phrase used.

    Personally, it is the absolute height of insanity that the GOP may nominate for President someone who was talking about secession a year or so ago. That fact just really blows my mind.

  59. 59.

    Citizen_X

    he challenged reporters on whether they were “tough” enough to walk with him

    “Tough enough to walk with him?” What the fucking fuck does that mean? Are they walking up the north face of the Eiger or something?

  60. 60.

    TenguPhule

    “Tough enough to walk with him?” What the fucking fuck does that mean?

    Greased Assholes. Manly greased assoholes.

  62. 62.

    niknik

    @Ian:

    If he was real ‘manly’ he woulda killed the coyote with his hands.

    Or shot it from a helicopter. I guess Texas just ain’t rugged like other places.

  63. 63.

    Frank

    Oh good,this again.What makes the press deem Perry to be so manly?Manly Bush was the son of an elitist Republican dynasty, he went AWOL from the military, and pretended to be a rancher. I can’t wait to find out Perry’s bona fides.

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