Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

đŸŽ¶ Those boots were made for mockin’ đŸŽ”

In my day, never was longer.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I was promised a recession.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Not all heroes wear capes.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Republicans in disarray!

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

This fight is for everything.

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My brother’s dog Boghan is over for a visit, so the chaos factor has hit 11 here. I have no idea where Tunch is, and this is a major concern, because Tunch cut Boghan the last time, lacerating his eye to the point that Boghan needed surgery. TUNCH RAWR!

Currently making some loaves of buckwheat bread with a little bit of almond flour to mix things up. I give about 90% of what I bake away, but I just really like doing it. It is fun experimenting, and for some reason the entire process just relaxes me more than cooking does (although I do love cooking!). There’s just something inherently soothing about baking, just like gardening. I guess maybe I like making things and building things after a youth of destroying shit. Plus, no one seems to bake any more, so all my friends just love the bread.

*** Update ***

An action shot of Boghan:

Such a pretty dog.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  1. 1.

    j low

    How long till you give up on politics for good and get your own show on the Home & Garden network? You could be West Virginia’s ex military Martha Stewart.

  2. 2.

    PurpleGirl

    Hope Tunch comes rambling home soon (or out from wherever he is).

    It’s good that you like cooking and baking and you give the bread away. You have a generous spirit.

  5. 5.

    Jeffro

    It’s chaos, Tunch is missing, and you have time to blog…about bread baking…

    Glad to see you have your priorities squared away. Keep the rolling pin handy one way or another!

  6. 6.

    Nemo_N

    Currently making some loaves of buckwheat bread with a little bit of almond flour to mix things up.

    Wild night at Cole’s. You used to be cool, man.

    Now seriously, I’m still a few levels below baking. Perhaps in a few years and dozen or more life-changing experiences I’ll be ready.

  7. 7.

    Kristine

    I love to bake. Sometimes I take things to the day job, but mostly I deep freeze. Bread and cakes keep surprisingly well. And there’s nothing quite like the feeling of uncovering a well-wrapped rich chocolate something that you’d forgotten you’d baked some months before.

    I’m harvesting more and more cherry tomatoes, and the Siberians are ripening. Hoping for a warm September.

    I hope Boghan remains unscathed and Tunch remains inside the perimeter.

  11. 11.

    hilts

    Maureen Dowd has set a new world record for columnists and a new low for the NY times by emasculating Obama in the opening sentence of her latest column. For good measure, she also uses her closing sentence to emasculate Obama.

    The president was in “Afternoon of a Faun” mode, a rural deity playing on his panpipes in the woods. Then, suddenly, he stood very still as he sensed electoral danger
 The president defended himself with a tinge of resignation: If the crazed bullies put a gun to your head, you must surrender
 As Obama did dressage, Perry galloped through Iowa like an unbroken stallion in danger of cracking a leg
 While Perry was playing the retro trigger-happy cowboy, Obama was playing the retro henpecked husband
 Maybe Michelle should be the one negotiating with the Republicans.

  12. 12.

    khead

    I guess maybe I like making things and building things after a youth of destroying shit.

    Fire is fun. Just sayin.

    Beavis +2

  13. 13.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    I too enjoy baking and then giving the results away, it is very soothing to the soul. Given the shit I am having to go through right now it is good for me.

  15. 15.

    JGabriel

    John Cole @ Top: Careful with that buckwheat, John. Some people have trouble digesting it, gives them really bad gas. TMI, but yes, I’m speaking from experience.

    .

  16. 16.

    Violet

    I hope both Tunch and Boghan stay safe. Boghan is a cutie. Where are Lily and Rosie in this chaos?

    @j low:
    He’d have to do the whole show with a brown paper bag over his head since he won’t let anyone see what he looks like.

  17. 17.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @hilts:

    Listen, Maureen…we know you haven’t had sex since 1988, but that’s not Barack Obama’s fault, kay? It just makes you look small taking out your frustrations on him.

  18. 18.

    Josie

    Baking is a very zen occupation, especially bread baking. I can make everything better by kneading the bread for ten minutes.
    In other news, Maureen Dowd is full of shit. She probably tried to entice Obama and he ignored her. She seriously needs help.

  19. 19.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @j low:

    “…So you fold the almond flour into the bread dough and FUCK I CAN’T DEAL WITH YOU IDIOTS ANYMORE. SCREW YOU I’M TAKIN’ A NAP.”

  22. 22.

    FlipYrWhig

    There’s just something inherently soothing about baking, just like gardening.

    Gardening is soothing? I do not share that view. I walk outside and within minutes I’m cursing the whole idea of organic matter. “What the fucking hell, where did all these weeds come from, and how the hell am I supposed to stop this giant shrub from becoming sentient like an Ent, and why are all these ants marching around, fuck fuck fuck fuck that’s it, let’s just nuke the place from orbit, or put in those white stones from the 1970s.”

  24. 24.

    jrg

    I’m so though dealing with contractors. Who would bury the end of a drain that a downspout ties into, forget that they buried it (not in a dry well, mind you, in clay dirt), then try to tie into it again with a french drain? I just tried to use a garden hose to see if the end came out somewhere I could not see, and it backed up with water in less than a minute.

    What. The. Fuck? How is it that there are so many stupid fuckers running around? Oh, well, at least I have not paid him yet.

  26. 26.

    scav

    @j low: Why not?

    Give me Bread but give me Rants!

    Who was that masked baker? !

    Damn, not UK, wrong period, but wish I could do something clever involving Dough Boy, although that almost sounds more like an incarnation of Doug(h)J

  28. 28.

    hilts

    @Spaghetti Lee: @Violet:

    @Josie

    When I read this latest pile of excrement by Maureen Dowd, it reminded me of the time Charlie Rose vigorously pushed back against David Denby’s assertion that Dowd was a purveyor of snark. Rose and Dowd would probably make a wonderful couple.

  29. 29.

    lamh34

    Welp, summer is almost over. School starts in DFW area next week I think. In the next 2 weeks, the last of the “summer movies” will be released and then it’ll be September. I’m kinda glad to have the “summer blockbusters” almost behind us. Although, this season’s “blockbusters” weren’t much to scream at. I know Potter and such made records, but other than that this summer’s movie offerings were kinda lame. So I’m looking for to the more “serious” fall schedule

    Movies I’m looking forward to:

    Underworld: Awakening.

    As if we need another movie about Greek gods, but I love ’em. This trailer just seems cool. Hopefully the movie is good too! Plus Mickey Rourke is in it. I think dude’s great.

    Immortals

    Think “300” (same director I think) meets “Clash of the Titans” (but hopefully without the crappy theatrics)

    Also, “Sherlock Holmes”, “Contagion”, and that Thatcher biopic with Meryl Streep.

  30. 30.

    Maura Cavaleri

    I like baking. I think there’s something very spiritual about it. Crafting things for your friends tells them that you took time and craft to make something out of your heart. Good for you.

    I would like to know about how your cats are doing with this visitor?

  31. 31.

    MikeJ

    @jeffreyw: I like the look of that thin crust. Is there a recipe somewhere? Do you roll it out or stretch it as with some thicker crusts?

  32. 32.

    The Dangerman

    Fire is fun. Just sayin.

    Careful with that buckwheat, John. Some people have trouble digesting it, gives them really bad gas.

    I’m seeing a synergy opportunity, um, passing by.

  33. 33.

    cleek

    @lamh34:

    Movies I’m looking forward to

    the Tribe Called Quest doc is playing up the street! so, awesome for me. plus, wife’s out of town this weekend, so i can go see it without worrying that she’ll hate it (she hates rap).

    too much calzone is the right amount of calzone. i looked it up.

  36. 36.

    RandyH

    THAT thing is a DOG?

    Looks pretty scary to me. If I were a cat, I’d scratch its eye out, too. Scary looking beast….

  37. 37.

    Keith G

    ..because Tunch cut Boghan the last time,

    Shorter MoDo:
    Maybe Tunch has a few lessons to teach Barak.

    Humor folks, humor.

  41. 41.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @lamh34:

    300 is perhaps the most homoerotic mainstream Hollywood movie of the past 20 years.

    Quite aside from the historical inaccuracies, the thing is flaming. And loud. Just the way Homer Simpson likes it.

    The “conservatives” just eat it up.

  42. 42.

    Roger Moore

    Baking is relaxing because it forces you to be patient. No matter how much you wish it your bread just isn’t going to rise or your cake bake any faster. Some people get driven nuts by that, but other people like the forced inactivity. I guess it’s the same thing people like about fishing or hunting from a blind. Learning to wait is good for the soul.

  43. 43.

    J.W. Hamner

    I find it interesting that you have gravitated towards different loaves, where all I wanted to make when I started was baguettes, ciabatta, and other just “flour, water, yeast, salt” variations.

    When I think about flavored loaves I just have flashbacks towards the 80’s when everything was dense bricks, even though I know that’s not how it works anymore.

  44. 44.

    lamh34

    I’ll admit, I really liked the first 2 Shrek movies. The 3rd movie with Timberlake was dead in the water since I h8 everything Timberlake, and by the final one, I was tired of the series anyway. But I wish I had some children because I would so take them to see this movie (I kind wanna see it myself, forget the children…lol).

    Puss in Boots

  46. 46.

    quannlace

    Exactly what kind of action is Boghan doing?
    *******
    Seen lots of recipes for quick pizza doughs, i/e. 20 minutes. But it really does need to rise longer. And the ol’ cliche of the pizza guy twirling it to it’s final size. It does need to be gently expanded to it’s needed size. Rolling it out with a rolling pin guarantees a tough crust.

  47. 47.

    hilts

    Tom Coburn is “a macho macho man” and a race-baiting jackass

    Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) ripped his colleagues during a tour of northeast Oklahoma, calling them “career elitists,” “cowards” and said, “It’s just a good thing I can’t pack a gun on the Senate floor.”… Coburn said President Barack Obama has an “intent to create dependency because it worked so well for him.”… “As an African-American male,” Coburn said, Obama received “tremendous advantage from a lot of these programs.”

    h/t http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/tom-coburn-loses-it-threatens-senators-

  48. 48.

    lamh34

    @Thoughtcrime: I’m looking forward to it for Meryl Streep’s acting, not necessarily for some sort of Thatcher biopic.

    I loved Julie and Julia because of Meryl STreep’s total embodiment of Julia Childs. In fact, they could have just nixed the “julie” part of it and let the movie be a true biopic of Julia Childs life with Merl Steep.

  51. 51.

    MBL

    48 comments and no one has mentioned the dog’s coat yet? Seriously?

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog with that coloration before. Like, he looks like he’s been dyed. It’s striking, but weird. What kind of dog is he?

  52. 52.

    Evolved Deep Southerner

    I’ll tell you what’s depressing. Reading an article on Yahoo! – any article, doesn’t make a damn what about – and then reading the comments. Jesus Christ. Who are these people?

  54. 54.

    Evolved Deep Southerner

    @MikeJ:

    Voters.

    Yeah, but I didn’t figure people that fucking stupid would be up for anything as complicated and labor-intensive as typing. And you can tell from the shit they post that they and the written word aren’t exactly comfortable partners.

  56. 56.

    andrewsomething

    Ugg… I had a total baking fail yesterday. I tried to make sourdough for the first time. After nurturing the damn starter for a week, the bread failed to rise at all. To top it off, it didn’t even taste sour. I ended up with dense bland bread.

    It did not feel therapeutic in the least. Quite the opposite in fact…

  57. 57.

    realbtl

    @MBL:

    Wirehaired Pointing Griffon. Can go from white with a little ticking to all brown/orange and all points in between.

  59. 59.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @PurpleGirl:

    I try not to read the comments at Yahoo. They make me sad that there are people who are that stupid alive and voting.

    Ain’t that the god’s truth. And the more they don’t know, the more convinced they are.

  62. 62.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I have been cat sitting a pair of brothers this week (they are not staying with me — I’m visiting them every day to feed, water, change the litter box, and put some love on them) and it’s really fun to see the emergence of their personalities each day. First day, curious and affectionate. Second day, bored, blasĂ© and mellow. Third day, “where the Hell have you BEEN?” Today, they were all “I love you more than life itself, and look at all the things on the counter we knocked over because shut up,” and I really have no idea what they will be like tomorrow but I’m looking forward to finding out! It’s been too long since I’ve shared space with a cat, and I’m beginning to weaken, I can feel it happening.

  63. 63.

    Platonicspoof

    @hilts:
    Coburn’s comments were also on Rachel Maddow today.

    Another one she picked up on was

    Coburn agreed that some people received poor care – or no care – before Medicare was enacted in the 1960s, but said communities worked together to make sure most people received needed medical attention.
    He also conceded that doctors and hospitals often went unpaid for their efforts, or accepted baked goods or chickens in partial payment.

    Hey John! Instead of making people “dependent” and “tremendously advantaged” by giving away bread so they end up in dead end jobs like President, you should be saving it to pay for your hospital bills.

  64. 64.

    Roger Moore

    @andrewsomething:
    Sourdough can be tricky. You can’t just follow a set of “add x and wait for y time” and expect guaranteed results. You have to watch the starter and be sure it’s rising well and then use it to make dough when it’s good and active. That still applies when you’re looking at how long to let it rise. You normally work at room temperature, but that can vary a lot and the rising times with it. When I was starting sourdough baking, I found it was best to do it on the weekend and start early so I could extend the rising time if it wasn’t working well. It was only after I got a lot of practice- and I think my starter got stronger, too- that I could do it with any confidence.

    Another helpful hint is to get an established starter from another baker rather than try to make your own. I made my own, and I know it was pretty weak for the first few batches. It can take quite a while to reach a good equilibrium, and it won’t be quite right until it does.

  65. 65.

    The Worst Person In the World

    It appears that this unfortunate looking creature found Cole’s dildo under the bed and has turned it into a chew toy. For the dog’s sake, I hope JC’s…implement was run through the dishwasher as most care instructions recommend.

  66. 66.

    CaseyL

    Baking is what I call “real” cooking.

    “Real” cooking is anything that calls for more than 5 ingredients, and more than 3 preparation steps.

    Slicing, mixing, and roasting is not “real” cooking by my lights. Nor is sauteing.

    Believe me, the distinction is not to make me look good. By my own definition, I hardly do any real cooking at all. Being single is partly to blame. Mostly, though, I have to watch what I eat for cholesterol and blood sugar reasons – which has pretty much reduced me to lots of salads, roasted and stir-fried veggies, and suchlike that.

    I so envy our host, and his culinarily advanced cohort. Good cooking, y’all!

  69. 69.

    Anne Laurie

    That pose makes Boghan look like he should be stuck to the side of the refrigerator with all four little magnetized paws.

  72. 72.

    Constance

    @Mark S.:

    A year ago I started on a no sugar, low carb, high saturated fat diet and gave up all grains and legumes. Found Primal Blueprint by Mark Sisson and got into Primal. I feel great, never have to weigh because no matter what I eat I never vary more than a pound. I’ve had osteoporosis for more than 10 years and after one year I have built enough bone that I’m in the osteopenia range. I have no doubt that the next Dexascan in 2013 I will have good bone and no osteopenia. That is a result of giving up grains. Another excellent book is Life Without Bread. Google Mark Sisson. He has a website with info about every food group, exercise, everything you ever wanted to know about Paleo.

  73. 73.

    Joseph Nobles

    I finally broke down and brought home a bread making machine yesterday from the local Salvation Army for $12.95. Works like a charm. My first loaf, I didn’t add oil, so it was just sorta OK, but completely edible (especially with a big dollop of butter). The second was great, and only later did I find out Magic Chef recommends keeping the yeast separate from the water. I let it activate and had no problems. It makes loaves rather big for a sandwich, though. My wallet will get used to it.

  74. 74.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    @hilts: Triple Barf. Also wrong and uncultured. Hasn’t the stupid cow seen any pictures of the first dancer to perform that role, Nijinsky? Makes Bush in a flight suit look like a twig.

  76. 76.

    Barry

    @RandyH:

    RandyH:

    “THAT thing is a DOG?

    Looks pretty scary to me. If I were a cat, I’d scratch its eye out, too. Scary looking beast
.”

    If I were a cat or a dog (or a human), I’d run upwind and hope that I didn’t catch whatever it has, ’cause it’s obviously afflicted by something terrible.

  77. 77.

    Aardvark Cheeselog

    @andrewsomething: I think it took about 2 weeks of subculturing before my sourdough starter really started to work. After that it was awesome. I let it die after a while, but I’d saved some dried in the freezer. Coincidentally I just started trying to revive it a couple of days ago.

  78. 78.

    WaterGirl

    @FlipYrWhig: That’s exactly what I thought when I first read Coburn’s comment yesterday. My eyes got big when I read it. Wow.

    I also wondered whether Barack will be able to shake that off as “politics as usual” or if that will be the end of their personal relationship. Some bells just can’t be un-rung, and I think that may be one of them.

  79. 79.

    WaterGirl

    @jeffreyw: Just stunning.

    I think I asked this after your other sunflower & hummingbird photo – do you sell your photos?

    For the holidays, I would seriously like to only put money in the pockets of real people…

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