Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Hot air and ill-informed banter

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

I was promised a recession.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Every day Vance writes another chapter in the book called “Worst VP Pick Ever”.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

The frogs are rarely mistaken.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

The willow is too close to the house.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / HERE’S MY ENTRY IN THE AIN’T TOO PROUD TO BEG, COME BACK ABL CONTEST

Reader Interactions

67Comments

  2. 2.

    jibeaux

    Who could resist the siren’s call from a wide, wide, range of white singers?? Come back, ABL!

  3. 3.

    Steeplejack

    @Cole:

    Caps lock is cruise control for cool.

    Er, shouldn’t that be “CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL”?

    And don’t forget your corollary principle:

    DO THESE ALL CAPS MAKE MY CAT LOOK FAT?

  5. 5.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Would it be too much to ask for the front pagers to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN in creating new threads?

    Thank you.

  6. 6.

    NobodySpecial

    Dammit, I don’t care if you try and woo her back, but you HAVE to give a better effort than that, Cole.

    Here. Come back, ABL.

    And, no, she’s not my favorite front pager or top 3. But you guys are pathetic at this point.

  10. 10.

    kc

    Damn it, what did I miss? Did she officially leave? I thought she got a paid writing job (yay for her!) and maybe just didn’t have as much time to blog.

  14. 14.

    catclub

    headline on google news: “U.S. Home Prices Showed Signs of Stabilizing in Case-Shiller June Index ”

    I have posted before that August is a bad month for Obama, at least since 2008, and then things get better.

    I also have no idea why, but it may be happening again.
    Even starting before september (knocks on wood).

  18. 18.

    eemom

    ***second request***

    can someone tell me the fucking story or point me to the thread that would explain what this ABL-angst is all about??

    I mean I don’t ask for MUCH around here.

  19. 19.

    AxelFoley

    You muhfuckas chased my Boo off this site since the last time I posted here? Who finally pissed her off? Let me know so I can stick my virtual foot up their virtual ass.

  20. 20.

    bystander

    Indeed. Who would be better to reignite the infamous blog wars of 2008? Most beneficial for page views and extended comment threads across the whole progressive blogosphere. Is there a more boot licking, uncritical, cheerleading, accepting, apology offering, chest-thumping, gauntlet-throwing, adoring, OFA-type Obama supporting warrior than ABL? I think not. She’s in a class all by herself. She would be without equal, the sine qua non, of the election fun to come. C’mon down, ABL. No one can match you, and someone from the other team might win if Obama doesn’t have your unconditional, and loudly vocal support.

    There. That ought to do it.

  26. 26.

    Tone in DC

    @Marc:

    Marc – August 30, 2011 | 11:26 am · Link

    She rubs the right people the wrong way. I’d be glad to see her back.

    This.

  27. 27.

    Daveboy

    She posted the same shit every other reactionary Democrats-first Obama cultist posted. Can literally go to 20x other websites and read her exact opinions from different people. Unlike the other posters here, who are all unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses.

  29. 29.

    Marc

    @Daveboy:

    I can read mindless Obama-hating drivel all across the internet. You know, like the nonsense that you just wrote. Let a thousand flowers bloom and all that, I guess.

    It is sort of sad, however, that the lily-white Obama-hating brigade seems offended that anyone on the left might disagree with them. And unaware that the vast majority of liberals, and people of color, actually don’t line up with the vocal internet activists.

  30. 30.

    fasteddie9318

    Didn’t she say she was going to have to reduce her posting because of some new gig she took? Or has she specifically sworn off this place for some reason?

  32. 32.

    Genghis

    I agree with Daveboy. Her personality worked for some of you but her content was predictable and ultimately boring. I don’t miss her expletives, and she’s nothing without them. Time to move on – some of you are starting to sound like stalkers, camped outside your ex’s apartment door. Let’s make today the last day of begging. Best…H

  33. 33.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    @Michael D.: My favorite Michael D. episode was the one where he recounted how he got blacked out drunk and ended up in jail and discovered bullet holes in his car the next day.

    Am I remembering that douchebag correctly? Ole “Blackouts and Bullet Holes”?

  34. 34.

    Brian S

    Motherfucker! That song was my ear worm all day yesterday and I’d just killed it. Curse you forever John Cole!

    I also want ABL to come back.

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @fasteddie9318:

    I believe that’s the story, and I have no reason to doubt it. I don’t think she was “driven off” by anything but a time budgeting crisis.

  42. 42.

    Wil

    I didn’t mind her posting on the front page, though because her posts were often just EMOTION dialed up to 11 or greater, there were a lot of her posts that I just skipped over. Got tired of reading about how some event just pissed her off so much that she had to rant about it forever…and often based on some silly womanish interpretation (*he looked at me funny and a sexist remark was said at the event and THAT WAS JUST IT***) of things.

    Would be nice if someone would clue us in to the actual story of why she left or was asked to leave.

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Wil:

    I didn’t mind her posting on the front page, though because her posts were often just EMOTION dialed up to 11 or greater, there were a lot of her posts that I just skipped over.

    Well, she is, after all ANGRY Black Lady. It’s kind of her thing, ya know?

  44. 44.

    Steeplejack

    @eemom:

    There has been no official announcement. ABL just hasn’t posted in a while, and there was some semi-official speculation (from Anne Laurie) that it’s because she got a paying gig at another blog.

  46. 46.

    Mattminus

    ABL was just not ready for prime time. She was more a forum ranter than an actual writer, and she was very gimmicky. Her dirty word + random noun formulation was just boring, and not even very original. Har har har, twat waffles! Cock Wallet!

    Any disagreement with her was because of racism/sexism, no matter what the topic was. If you corrected her math, for example, math had male privilege and white unity and just can’t handle a strong black woman.

    She was also incredibly thin skinned and easy to troll, which I, admittedly, enjoyed a great deal. One criticism of her “shitty blogging” would stick with her and get brought up for months.

  48. 48.

    Daveboy

    @Mattminus is right too.

    @Marc of course, assumes that I am an Obama-hater just because I brought up the fact that she is a Democratic Dear Leader cultist. Which says a lot more about him than me, I think.

  49. 49.

    kwAwk

    If Cole would pay his help we wouldn’t have this problem. What is it with these white guys who think everybody should work for free?

    Doug J (Nameoftheday), Kay, Anne Laurie, that Tom guy, Tim, ABL, Tunch, Lily…

    Its time they wised up and unionized, I’d say.

    Anyways…

    Give ‘Em Hell, ABL!

  50. 50.

    Elizabelle

    I would “crawl across the floor” to beg Dengre to come back.

    His “Confederate Party” posts are well reasoned and gave me something new to think about, in an original and engaging manner.

    I don’t feel that way about ABL.

    A lot of heat and not much light.

  51. 51.

    General Stuck

    @Steeplejack:

    That’s how I understand it. Amazing sometimes, the power of rumor and innuendo with a dash of circumstance, sometimes has on humans. To jump to all sorts of dubious conclusions leading to a series of Seinfeld blog posts.

    Glad ABL is back, and for the show of support in this thread. Me, I’ve had my quotient of “concerned internet progressives” here and elsewhere, beating the same dead horse day after day, on the many ways an imperfect Obama has failed us. There are wolves at the door and we don’t have time for round firing squads. No time for that at all.

  52. 52.

    Daveboy

    There’s a middle ground between circular firing squad and sticking your fingers in your ears and saying “la la la” and some of you can’t seem to find it.

  58. 58.

    Regular Reader

    I had an asshole of a professor in grad school, and while wrong in life about most things, he gave me one good piece of advice:

    “Don’t let other people’s problems become your problems.”

    Maybe I’m getting old and Galtian, but I would think John Cole, et al, have better things to do than concern themselves with the production of one blogger. If she wants to put the effort into posting, she will; if she doesn’t, she won’t – but that’s her problem only. If this site just gets filled up with requests for her to return, it will come across as an echo chamber, and that will turn viewers away.

  60. 60.

    ABL

    @Mattminus: tell me dear, where can i read your writing? what’s the old saying? those who can’t write, critique?

    ok, that’s not an old saying, but i believe i’ve made my point.

    ABL was just not ready for prime time. She was more a forum ranter than an actual writer

    lucky for me, MSNBC disagrees.

    ;)

  61. 61.

    ABL

    Any disagreement with her was because of racism/sexism, no matter what the topic was. If you corrected her math, for example, math had male privilege and white unity and just can’t handle a strong black woman.

    you’re just saying that because i’m black, AREN’T YOU!?

    well, i never…

  62. 62.

    Regular Reader

    @gogol’s wife:

    That’s an entirely understandable response, and the bloggers are free to make it. It’s not a very good or smart response, though, with respect to something that fundamentally relies on public approval for its existence.

  63. 63.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @ABL:

    you’re just saying that because i’m black, AREN’T YOU!?

    I think he’s saying it because you’re FEMALE!! (“Try new Shimmer! It’s TWO! TWO! TWO stereotypes in ONE!”)

    Welcome back, ABL. I was one of the ones who missed you.

  66. 66.

    Josh James

    @ABL:

    Yay!

    If you run into Pat Bucanhon (or however the old bigot spells his last name) do me a great favor and punch him right in his pie-hole, would ya?

    love ya, lady, hope you never go away …

  67. 67.

    Waldo

    Don’t know what the deal is with ABL — the Internet stormed off at my house 2 days ago — but I really hate that song. Mainly because the word “cumbersome” is way too cumbersome for a rock song.

    That’s all.

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