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They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Thanks for reminding me that Van Jones needs to be slapped.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Republicans in disarray!

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

He really is that stupid.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Bark louder, little dog.

In my day, never was longer.

A consequence of cucumbers

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

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So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread for the Easily Confused

Open Thread for the Easily Confused

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For those of you who don’t understand that breeders can bareback and swallow loads, and that only heterosexual couples use Plan B, here’s a video that has real homosexual references. And, because you made me do it, here’s another one on the same theme, with bonus cunnilingus / “slot machine” references:

For the rest of you, consider this an open thread.

Reader Interactions

40Comments

  2. 2.

    geg6

    Word.

    Man, I had no idea that gays thought women don’t give bj’s and swallow or that they always have sex using condoms. And why would gay people need Plan B anyway?

    Someone needs to get out more.

  4. 4.

    MikeJ

    There are idiot Christians who insist that everything is about them and try to find things to be offended about. There are idiot Republicans who insist that everything is about them and try to find things to be offended about.
    There are idiot Democrats who insist that everything is about them and try to find things to be offended about.
    There are idiot gay people who insist that everything is about them and try to find things to be offended about.

    Congratulations whoever spawned this. You have the same intellectual firepower as William Donohue.

  5. 5.

    Guster

    I object to some lyrics in the first video.

    Are there straight men who don’t like women with big asses?

  6. 6.

    JCT

    And hey, one of the most “damaging” allegations re: our former Governor’s activities with prostitutes was that he often requested to go bareback.

    Boy, some folks need to get out more.

  9. 9.

    scav

    Favorite vaguely sneaky dialog in Doctor Who

    D5: Does he still have that rubbish beard?
    D10: No, No, No beard this time, Well. Wife.

    Wan’t even RTD, SM.

    ETA: Oh yes, in regards to the Master, although it’s the height of pointless as those that will be possibly interested already know this.

  10. 10.

    General Stuck

    I must have had a sheltered childhood, cause “bareback” where I was raised, just meant male someones were not wearing underwear, and letting their guys swing to and fro.

    As for swallowing, Once I asked a female friend why she seemed to enjoy that, swallowing, and I got a science lesson on the nutritional value of semen, that I had been sorely lacking. Especially, apparently, the high grade protein contained therein.

  12. 12.

    Steeplejack

    I had decided not to comment in the previous thread, but since you have gleefully doubled down . . .

    I think the original commenter (Ant?) made a hasty mistake in his or her choice of the word “homosexual” to describe what bothered him or her about your post. I doubt that Ant, or anyone on this blog, needs to be schooled by you on the varieties of sexual experience. But thanks anyway.

    What he or she was getting at is the use of imagery of sexual dominance/submission and coercion to belittle an object of criticism. The press or “the Village” or whoever can’t just be wrong, or even venal and corrupt, they have to be somebody’s bitch–taking a load here, gagging for a hero there, etc., etc. It has become a shorthand cliché, and at this point a threadbare one. It doesn’t add to any understanding of the situation, it’s just an expression of impotent rage at the media or whomever. And at this point it’s about as edgy as Nick Gillespie’s leather jacket.

  16. 16.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Steeplejack: What struck me negatively was not so much that, but the fact that “we” so often criticize the Village for turning all politics into a horserace, yet turning it all into sexual conquest/domination is (IMO) equally as tired a metaphor. But I don’t want to be the hall monitor, either, which is why I kept quiet in the other thread.

  18. 18.

    mistermix

    @Steeplejack: “Gagging for it” is a common British expression, which I’ve only heard used by women, to express horniness.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gagging%20for%20it

    So, it’s not part of the “imagery of dominance/submission”. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, since it acknowledges that women are independent sexual actors.

    So, apparently *you* need to be schooled on sexual expression. I doubt that most other readers needed this, that’s why I said it was for a few who don’t get it, like you and the clueless ant.

  20. 20.

    Nutella

    Repeated from dead open thread:

    Unsurprising news: 92 % of delayed-notice search warrants issued under the expanded powers of the Patriot Act 2006–2009 were for drugs, less than 1% for terrorism.

    via BoingBoing

  21. 21.

    Steeplejack

    So you’re saying that the press is lovingly horny for Rick Perry? What does that even mean? Perhaps you could deconstruct that for me.

    And I think you’re being disingenuous to fall back on the specific definition of this or that act. There was nothing in your previous post to indicate that you were trying to describe, or use as a metaphor, healthy, loving relations between two equals.

  22. 22.

    Corner Stone

    @mistermix:

    So, apparently you need to be schooled on sexual expression.

    Awww, yeah! Sexual smackdown!
    Personally, I think a little verbal foreplay is exactly what’s needed to get us all ready for NFL Opening Night!

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    @Anya: Cole’s just mad at me because I called him on his continued love for Uncle Reagan.
    We only hurt the ones we love.

  27. 27.

    Tonybrown74

    Oh my gawd, people!

    Are we really getting in a tizzy about sexual references to the Villagers, when they themselves are practically screaming out, in so may words, “please f*ck me?”

    With all the talks of, “shoulders that you can land a 737 on,” and, “Starbursts,” and the whole flight suit debacle, you really have to question the validity of calling out their own submission to these supposed GOP daddy-wannabe types?

    They do it to themselves, people. Why is it wrong to call them out on it?

  29. 29.

    J

    @Steeplejack: This is spot on. I’d guess that these tired metaphors of sexual dominance and submission, the source of which are often forgotten, have their origins in a male world with ancient roots in which sexual transactions between men are always conceived as between dominant or and submissive (woman-like) parties. Taking the active part metaphorically or otherwise is, to this way of looking at things,manly and nothing to be ashamed of; taking the passive part is demeaning and unmanly. Like Ant and others, I feel an occasional twinge of discomfort at the use of these metaphors because I’m repelled by the values of the milieu that gave rise to them. There are other metaphors available, and I suspect that the progressive blogosphere is addicted to the sexual ones owing to a desire to seem tough.

  30. 30.

    Steeplejack

    @J:

    There are other metaphors available, and I suspect that the progressive blogosphere is addicted to the sexual ones owing to a desire to seem tough.

    Good point. And the more we do it mindlessly and reflexively we become a mirror image of RedState or [insert wingnut site of choice].

  31. 31.

    Corner Stone

    Man, I just turned off No Script for a minute to do some research elsewhere and came back to BJ and it was crazy how bad this site is with No Script off.
    Unbelievable difference in load time.

    ETA, wait…I didn’t mean “load” time. I meant time it takes for page to be viable.
    Shit! I didn’t mean “viable” in that hetero sex leads to pregnancy and that leads to possibly a viable child.
    Dammit. This new era of civility is hard.

  32. 32.

    licensed to kill time

    I think all these discussions about terms just shows how highly subjective they are. Everybody sees them through their own frame of reference.

    Corner Stone, you ain’t kiddin’ about turning off NoScript! I am so used to the calm, uncluttered look of the sites I visit that on the very rare occasion that I open up IE and take it for a spin I am appalled at how messy and junky those same sites look. AND they take forever to load.

    I’ve never even SEEN a Google ad. (NoScript + AdBlockPlus, FTW!)

  34. 34.

    Smedley the uncertain

    @licensed to kill time: No Script and AdBlock are life savers. The down side is so many sites require java to interact or to view video one has to scroll through a 17 item list to guess the right one to turn on. After a while, I just give up. I note I have 8 of 14 Scripts allowed here on BJ…why are so many needed?

  35. 35.

    Corner Stone

    @Smedley the uncertain:

    No Script and AdBlock are life savers. The down side is so many sites require java to interact or to view video one has to scroll through a 17 item list to guess the right one to turn on. After a while, I just give up

    That’s why I turned off No Scripts globally to complete some research. One link led to a video, one to a site demanding java, etc, that it was too damned much of a hassle to figure it out for 5 minutes of info.
    Every dang site under the sun demands java now to enter info in any search box or request platform.

  36. 36.

    licensed to kill time

    @Smedley the uncertain:

    I just click “temporarily allow all this page” when I want to watch a video or whatever, then “revoke temporary permissions” when done. It’s quick and easier than guessing which scripts to allow.

  38. 38.

    contessakitty (AKA Karen)

    Er…did I miss something because all I saw were the two youtube videos and they were gay positive…

  39. 39.

    RalfW

    Garfunkle and Oates were the perfect antidote to the narcissism and buffoonery of tonight’s post-game (not the football one),

  40. 40.

    BruinKid

    Just saw Garfunkel and Oates in concert last week! It was a “Ladies Night” comic special, with Sarah Silverman and Natasha Leggero as well.

    Awesome time. I got there early enough I was able to meet Kate Micucci (Oates) before the show and talk with her a bit.

    8-)

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