As you, I am fascinated by the sexualization of conservative leaders. Why does it happen? I do know why there is no liberal analog of this, it’s because liberal men are pencil-necked geeks and liberal women are frumpy ball-busters. Jim Newell fills us in on this year’s edition of the annual Great American Conservative Women calendar:
The calendar women this year include: Clare Booth Luce (who has been dead for 2,000 or so years but, you know, namesake), Kate Obenshain, Star Parker, Monica Crowley, Rep. Ann Marie Buerkle, Rep. Renee Ellmers, Rep. Jaime Herrera Buetler, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Andrea Tantaros, S.E. Cupp, and, of course, Rep. Michele Bachmann.
Missing someone, aren’t we, hmm? the CBL Institute has a special note for readers about this: “Our friends and supporters often inquire about why Governor Sarah Palin is not featured in our calendar. We invite Governor Palin to participate every year and are hoping she will be able to join us for the 2013 edition.”
slag
Either that or it’s because liberals prefer to not commodify everything.
cathyx
Can I add that conservative men have bad taste in women?
Frankensteinbeck
Shallow is as shallow does.
BruceFromOhio
OK, so if its a “Conservative Women Leaders Who Have An Historical Impact”, this is pretty awesome. Sure, sure, the ideology may be a vertically fornicated jungle of assholery, but the historical significance of the people on this list is difficult to dispute: they’ve had an impact.
But if its a “Conservative Women Leades Who Are Teh Hawt”, that’s a whole different animal, one which I seek to avoid entirely. Ick.
NonyNony
Not really.
There’s no liberal analog to this because, frankly, it would create a shitstorm among liberals. First you’ve got the outright objectification, then the questions of body judgement, and of course the arguments about who is or isn’t “really” a liberal and “deserves” to be on a calendar like that anyway no matter what they look like.
Take a look at the PETA ads and the responses they get from liberals. That’s kind of like the response you’d get except it would be about 10 times worse.
Napoleon
Do I need to point out that the sidebar on this site promotes a Ballon Juice pet calender?
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
So, Rory and Amy Pond, then.
TheMightyTrowel
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): Naw. They’re British. Amy is a classic Lib-Dem voter, but I’ll bet Rory secretly votes Green.
wasabi gasp
After all the contortions a wingnut mind performs on a daily basis trying to keep their facts afloat, it must be refreshing to look across the keel and see boobs for what they really are.
catclub
So Clare booth Luce but no Phyllis Schlafly or Maggie Thatcher.
The expression ‘face that would stop a clock’ springs to mind.
Satanicpanic
The qualifications required of conservative pols are more or less the same as TV anchorpersons, so besides looks there’s not much for voters to go on.
Morzer
I do hope Photoshop has recovered from the abuse necessary to turn this parade of scaly witches* into C-grade jerk-off material for the conservative reptile mind.
*Apologies to any actual scaly witches for the unflattering comparison to conservative strumpetry.
horatius
Let me take a wild guess here. When conservatives see women, they only see tits and ass.
Dennis SGMM
What? No Kate O’Beirne, no Phyllis McAlpin Stewart Schlafly? Not to mention Rudy Giuliani in drag.
Chris
Because the only intrinsic value of women is sexual, from a conservative’s point of view. Hence the default setting for female conservative politicians – sexy, stupid, and aware of their proper place, a shining example of what all women should be.
Not sure what the explanation for male conservative politicians is, except as part of the whole general cult of manliness that there is in the GOP – a Real Man, like in the movies, is someone who not only kicks lots of ass but gets lots of ass. And our leaders must be Real Men, otherwise the furriners and undesirables will not be afraid of him, and they’ll come to kill you and take your women.
Linda Featheringill
@Morzer:
LOL. Excellent on so many levels. :-)
Signed,
Frumpy Ball Buster and part-time scaly witch.
TheMightyTrowel
@Chris:
The closet.
gnomedad
I keep wondering if S.E.Cupp’s first name is “Sipp”.
cleek
that’s a shitload of lip gloss.
Big Baby DougJ
@Chris:
But they do it with men too.
Hunter Gathers
Palin didn’t appear because her fee is way to high for the CPL Institute. And yes, I am as shocked as anyone to discover that the CPL Institute didn’t have 20 bucks to spare.
samson
Now she’s a hinky tonk guurrrrrrrrrlll!
Comrade Javamanphil
Oh, to be a fly on the wall in McMeghan’s office when this list was posted.
Samara Morgan
perhaps you could call it Messerschmidt Syndrome DougJ.
Or Hot Abercrombie Chick Syndrome.
MikeJ
Two girls, SE Cupp.
cleek
who would want this?
first of all, who would want a calendar of “conservatives” ? are there people out there who need to be inspired to greater depths of “conservatism” ? and does looking at a picture of a “conservative” do the job?
“i was thinking about deficit reduction and how increasing revenues seemed like an obvious solution. but then i saw the picture of Michelle Malkin and realized my error!”
and secondly, if you just want a calendar of women to gawk at, there are piles and piles of them at every bookstore in the country – with better looking women!
scav
@Big Baby DougJ: Well, making The Sexy the sole criteria of excellence keeps alive the whole Horatio Alger Anyman dream alive but without the actually having to work at it part. Bring on the right aftershave, hairpiece and deodorant and boom! Electable city!
joes527
S. E Cupp. That’s her porn name, right?
MonkeyBoy
Isn’t it because “girly calendars” such as the Sports Illustrated swimsuit one are basically considered immoral?
For many people a calendar of pretty women is just a calendar even if it does lead to lust.
I guess for social conservatives all the women need a certain moral purity because their default assumption is that the women who appear in such calendars are little better that whores – all of whom can be bought for immoral purposes.
I guess it is ok to fantasize about Sarah Palin as long as you assume her body can’t be bought.
cckids
Sorry, but just imagine Ann Coulter’s visage grinning down at you for a whole month. The hatefulness just sort of seeps out of her pores, doesn’t it?
Chris
@Big Baby DougJ:
Working theory of the moment: conservative politics is at least partly about wish fulfillment. Thus, they elect the women they wish they could screw and the men they wish they could be.
(If you’re asking about female conservative voters, you’re entering into a whole other dimension, namely why are there people who aren’t white Christian males but vote Gooper anyway).
Linda Featheringill
@MikeJ: #25
Oh, you’re bad! :-)
Hunter Gathers
@cleek:
Because that calendar contains women who might actually acknowledge their existence, although it’ll cost them a book signing fee or membership in the John Birch Society.
MikeJ
@cleek:
And with them, conservatives can do what they do with movies or songs they like: claim that they actually have a strong conservative message.
“Barely Legal demonstrates the absurdity of big government interference in blah blah blah…”
Morzer
I think they ought to call the calendar:
“Glazed Lips and Glazed Expressions: ConservaJihadi Porn Queens 2012”
They’ve all got that dazed, wide-eyed, God-fucker facial mask.
Guster
The reason for this is simple. Morality is inherent, granted by God then completely unalterable. Beauty = goodness.
I don’t have the anthropological background to explain this, but I bet it’s quite widespread, culturally-speaking. God doesn’t just give you rightness, He grants you beauty as well. If you are unfortunate, you are undeserving. Etc.
harlana
I wouldn’t say they were all frumpy. Some of these ladies are quite attractive . . . until they open their mouths
Linda Featheringill
Interesting that the Ladies of the Left probably don’t mind being labeled ball-busters. Frumpy? Don’t know. You’re on your own there.
Morzer
@joes527:
No, that’s her unacknowledged twin sister: S.E.X. Cupp.
Yutsano
@harlana: I wonder if they airbrush out Ann’s Adam’s apple. That thing is bigger than mine.
Captain Haddock
Do you think they put the Palin disclaimer up because they were bombarded by emails from her fans accusing them of being liberal scum for ignoring her?
Samara Morgan
@Big Baby DougJ:
Ann Coutler is a man.
she haz an adam’s apple.
Ryan Cunningham
Obama wasn’t sexualized? Gawking at photos of him in a swimsuit ring a bell?
Let’s be real here.
Chris
@Guster:
Oh, that’s a good one.
After all, enough of them literally believe that being born rich is a sign of heaven’s favor. No reason to believe that being born hot wouldn’t be seen the same way.
Morzer
@Ryan Cunningham:
I think I missed the DNC’s Annual Calendar entitled Liberal Studs of the Ivy League. Whence did you get your copy?
Linda Featheringill
BTW. You folks in the UK:
How’s the weather? Katia really behaved strangely IMHO. But then I’m not a climate specialist or anything.
Nutella
Another list of stuff Rs like:
http://www.republicanslovegovernment.com/
cleek
@Ryan Cunningham:
is Obama in the “hot liberal men” calendar?
harlana
@Ryan Cunningham: Look at the endless sexualization of Rick Perry, mostly by male pundits! Doesn’t compare.
Linda Featheringill
Aw, geez! I’m in moderation just because I mentioned my relative ignorance of weather patterns. Darn.
Anyway, the question was to the folks in the UK. How is your weather?
And I think Katia has been strange. Also. Too.
Morzer
@Linda Featheringill:
I think Ball Busting has been replaced by Enhanced Testicular Interrogation these days.
Zifnab
Conservatives have to be better in every conceivable case. It’s not enough for a conservative pundit to be more popular than her liberal rival. She’s got to be more educated, more decorated, more financially successful, and – of course – much better looking.
Can’t give liberals an inch on anything. Conservatives must prove that they are the
master racesuperior ideology on every front.Guster
@Chris: I do think that’s how they think. Well, plus a splash of pure tribalism, ‘Are womanz are teh prettie!!!!! Look, pitchurs!! We win over uglee librul womanz like Natlee PortMAN and Scarlett JoNOTHANDSOME, heheheh.’
Morzer
Most of the sexualization of conservatives comes from the same “appeal to incoherent emotion” which is all the GOP has left. Going porno is just another step down that particular road. You don’t see liberals sexualized that way because, when you come down to it, most Americans don’t find intelligence, policy wonkery, or reason tout court especially sexy.
sb
TheMightyTrowel
@Linda Featheringill: windy. enough rain to soak my laundry line. sunny right now. But I live in the south. ASk the scots.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
What about Beverly LaHaye? She definitely has been a force for conservative ‘values’ over the years.
Raven (formerly stuckinred)
@Samara Morgan: I could do something with that but I won’t.
handsmile
While primarily responsible for maintaining the phenomenon of Caribou Barbie, the corporate media has begun not to return the grifter’s phone calls.
Also, their recent infatuation with the big eyes of Michelle Bachmann has been replaced by swooning over the swagger of yet another Texas governor. And Christine O’Donnell was never more than a tawdry fling.
Who will they next anoint as the reigning Right-Wing Valkyrie? I suspect to hear a lot more about that hottie from South Carolina, NIkki Haley.
Morzer
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony:
Even Satan’s demonic ministers and Photoshop Overdrive couldn’t make Beverly LaHaye anything other than a wizened raccoon that has been strategically shaved and dyed blonde in the remaining furry areas.
harlana
@Morzer:
this has always been my downfall, i’m a sucker for a man with brains and principles
Linda Featheringill
http://www.scotsman.com/
Interesting photo on the front page of a guy in a terrrrrific rain.
Ira-NY
The right practices what I call “brain stem politics.” It works.
fasteddie9318
Um, wow, that’s quite a calendar lineup.
On a somewhat related note, can anybody recommend a remedy for repeated uncontrollable vomiting? Until they invent the flashy thing from Men in Black, I assume wiping these images from my mind is not an option.
srv
Didn’t Ann get banned?
I need to listen to the WND radio more often, I had to pull over driving home last Xmas, busting a rib listening to Farrah exorcise her and Teh Gays taking over some GOP events.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: hai morzer.
did you see my comment on the sociobiological singularity yet?
wasabi gasp
Warm up the bunker.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
No, but I haven’t discussed Kant’s categorical imperative with the crack whore on the corner either.
Tuffy
@Big Baby Dougj:
JFK, Bill Clinton, and Obama are all considered heartthrobs. Remember “Obama girl”? Then we have closet homosexuals and P90x spokesmen Aaron Schock and Paul Ryan on the GOOPer side.
Is your point only about conservative women? Because sexualizing male politicians seems to be bi-partisan.
Lindershaw
jwest
Darwin did a fairly good job of explaining why we conservatives look as we do and why liberals are as unfortunate as they are.
There is a scientific explanation why Clinton’s cabinet looked like a carnival sideshow.
Big Baby DougJ
@Tuffy:
Bill Clinton is considered a heart throb?
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
@Morzer:
She was young once and had that Donna Reed look, which I’m going to assume makes Christian Conservative males mad with suppressed passion.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Tuffy: But where’s my liberal calendar? And does it contain Rachel Maddow and ABL?
Big Baby DougJ
@jwest:
You believe in evolution?
Morzer
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony:
But that was circa 1350 BC!
Chyron HR
@jwest:
Ask Mr. Owl.
Yutsano
@Big Baby DougJ: jwest is supposedly not a God-botherer. But at the same time has zero issue with turning this country into a Christian theocracy. Conservatives are strange folk sometimes.
Dennis SGMM
The CBL has announced that its next calendar will feature photos of Great Conservative Men. The calendar will feature such luminaries as Mitch McConnell, John McCain, Ron Paul, Pat Buchanan, and the exhumed-for-this-occasion corpses of both Ronald Reagan and William F. Buckley – all wearing Speedos.
Redshift
@Tuffy: Yeah, and I could tell some tales of women on the Dean campaign and their online photo sharing. It just wasn’t commercial. (Not surprising that making a buck off it is a key difference with
griftersconservatives.)Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): Also, can you imagine trying to get a concensus on who should go into a liberal calendar? Suddenly, the year would have 86 months.
Linda Featheringill
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/post/remnants-of-hurricane-katia-slam-scotland-northern-ireland/2011/09/12/gIQA675zMK_blog.html
Hope everyone stays safe.
ETA: This is news about Katia.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
@Morzer:
I’m just suggesting that they could have used an older picture of her, so that conservative men could dream of a bygone era when women cheerfully ‘knew their place’.
andy
I wonder how they kept Crazy Michele from showing the whites of her eyes!
Dennis SGMM
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
At the very least it would lead to the coining of the term “calendar-bagger.”
60th Street
Starbursts, Baby! **********
wrb
@NonyNony:
It seems to be ok if the pose with large green vegitables
Morzer
@Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony:
I think the Chained To The Kitchen Sink For Jesus calendar is in the works as we speak.
Sam Houston
@catclub: unfair.
Mean people would say the same about Elizabeth Warren but I find her radiant.
Aside that, Clare Booth Luce and Roald Dahl crack me up.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: lol. Kant.
more Dead White Guy Phailosophy.
that is so fucking ovah.
Morzer
@Sam Houston:
Poor Joe Klein is blushing furiously as we speak, while planning a fulminating column on how hateful liberals have defiled the radiant memory of the Virgin Clare.
Paul in KY
@MikeJ: That might be grosser than the original.
Chris
@Yutsano:
Yeah, I’ve met conservatives like that. People who claim to be atheists but have nothing but praise for the religious right and its ilk. Odd people indeed.
Hoodie
You have it backwards, the calendar is a manifestation of a compulsion to apply a conservative narrative to sexuality. It’s like their politicization of art (“100 best conservative rock songs”), which Edroso has made the subject of his life’s work.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Absolutely. We need all the brain-dead white girl phailosophy we can get. When does your book come out?
Morzer
@Big Baby DougJ:
jwest is still figuring out how the kangaroos got to Australia on large mats of vegetation.
James
As far as explainations go you might check out the review of Eric Fromm’s The Heart of Man by William Timothy Lukeman courtesy of Amazon.com. William say it well enough that I’ll just cut and paste (i.e. steal) it rather than try to paraphrase.
“No matter what their political, religious, or ideological affiliations, they share the same basic traits & worldview. They worship strength, toughness, a lack of tender emotions; they glorify the mechanical & do their best to become machines themselves: they loathe yet are fascinated by decay, disease, filth. Hence they often have rigid ideas about sexuality (one of the most uncontrollable aspects of living things), and espouse strict, letter-of-the-law moral codes concerning it … although their private lives are frequently an immersion in what they publically denounce as disgusting.
A familiar picture begins to take shape: the stern, self-righteous, excessively judgmental, often uniformed strong man, one who prides himself on being able to make “the tough decisions,” untroubled by reflection or regret. The uniform can be military, or a business suit, or a minister’s collar, or any clothing that embodies status — because it’s status, rank, and power that matters most to them. And they have no problem killing others in the name of some greater good, if anything seeing it as an outward emblem of their unyielding virtue.
The poet Lew Welch wrote about this sort of mentality in “The Basic Con” – “Those who can’t find anything to live for, / always invent something to die for. / Then they want the rest of us to / die for it too.” Whether it’s for their god, their politics, their bank accounts, or their own desperate need to believe in their own superiority, they project their inner loathing & emptiness onto the rest of us, making us scapegoats for their own inability to face the uncertainty & wonder of life. They must have answers for everything, and can’t tolerate questions, or doubts, or ambiguity.”
scav
@Morzer: Indeed. Funny how she’s so completely into racist-sexist-ageist criteria for evaluating philosophical thought.
Chet
No Maggie Gallagher? What gives?
Yutsano
@Morzer: How da moon get dere? Huh? Can your sciency stuff explain tide goes in tide goes out? HUH? Didn’t think so dirty hippie.
(PS missed ya round these parts!)
Morzer
@scav:
I suspect “she” is actually 57 with a gnarly salt’n’pepper beard, drives a pick-up truck and has unacknowledged longings for contact with her feminine side.
Chet
@Chris: Maybe they figure they’re highly placed enough, socially and economically, that their own lives won’t be affected by the fundies’ agendas?
(See also Log Cabin Republicans, conservative “feminists”, etc.)
Morzer
@Yutsano:
There is no there. Nor is there a moon or a non-moon.
Tony J
@catclub:
WTF? What kind of sick, depraved…
Oh, you said “clock”.
Tony J
@Linda Featheringill:
Vindy. Veh, veh vindy.
scav
@Morzer: Well, in either case, I think her abject ignorance and self-regard is sincere and unfeigned.
ETA: In other words, I think her calendar is entirely of herself and otherwise matches in all respects the one currently under discussion.
handsmile
Surely one must respect the observations of a self-identified conservative so fearless as to cite Darwin (Jwest #70).
And one cannot help but to concur with his remark that “Clinton’s cabinet looked like a carnival sideshow.”
Edit: jwest (#71)
After all, it had short people (Robert Reich/Donna Shalala); old women (Hazel O’Leary/Madeleine Albright); brown people (Federico Pena/Henry Cisneros); darker-than-brown people (Ron Brown/Togo West); physically infirm people (Janet Reno); and creepy-looking people (Warren Christopher/Richard Riley).
One only wonders why brave jwest choose the politically-correct euphemism of “carnival sideshow” rather than the term “freak show” preferred by his ideological brethren.
jwest
Would someone care to explain what the “fundamentalist agenda” is and who supports it?
Southern Beale
Christine O’Donnell is also not on the list. Which I find very funny.
She really screwed up her ticket to the prom, didn’t she? Got drunk the punch, had sex in the car with the football team, and now she’s been shunned.
Morzer
@jwest:
Theocratic fascism, and its primary US supporters are ignorant, white, Southern pseudo-Christians.
How did the kangaroos get to Australia, jwest?
Yutsano
@jwest: You get more credibility when you don’t play stupid.
@Morzer:
Qantas. Duh.
Satanicpanic
John Stoessel will be disappointed Ayn Rand isn’t in there
Morzer
@Southern Beale:
She even denied being a witch three times before the cock screwed her. At least, I think that’s the story she tells.
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
@Morzer:
Perfect! Anita Bryant should be the cover girl! (At least, she actually used to be a fashion model, not just a model of conservative hate.)
Citizen Alan
@TheMightyTrowel:
Ya know, as much as I love the Moffat era at Doctor Who, I do wish he’d take a stab at some of the subtle social commentary that the old show was occasionally known for. “Vengeance on Varos” basically predicted the rise of reality/tabloid television and the corrosive effect it would have on the body politic, while “The Happiness Patrol” was actually a savage critique of Margaret Thatcher.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: i dont have a phailosophy…yet.
im a Seeker.
and im shufflin evry day.
isnt that coolio though?
teh sociobiolgical singularity.
i guess i shud trademark it like Distributed Jesusland™
:)
jwest
@Morzer:
And would you mind defining “theocratic fascism”?
Southern Beale
@Morzer:
I loved the SNL parody: “My name is Christine O’Donnell and I’m not a witch! I’m just like YOU! And just like you, I have to deny being a witch!”
LOL
Morzer
@jwest:
A right-wing extremist pseudo-religious doctrine that embraces thuggery and the destruction of democracy in favor of crony capitalism.
You seem oddly unable to explain how the kangaroos got to Australia though. Was the question too complex?
Samara Morgan
@Morzer:
nah, they are teh real christians, ie all the christians we got..
its teh evolutions, stupid.
:)
c’mon 9/11 was a New Event. the very first time the third world struck back.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
I’d suggest learning to spell it first. That might matter when you attempt to trademark it.
Villago Delenda Est
@cckids:
Ann Coulter’s greatest regret is she was born 40 years too late to be the Bitch of Buchenwald.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
The sad thing is, you probably believe it.
Redshift
@Hoodie:
You’ve hit the nail on the head, though I wouldn’t describe it as political so much as tribal. Our team must be the best at everything, so conservative women must be Teh Hott, and librul women must be hags.
With the songs, it’s worse, because they go through bizarre gyrations to declare music to be “conservative,” but this is still pretty weird.
demz taters
Long thread, so forgive me if it’s already been asked but no Orly Taitz?
Morzer
@Redshift:
Basically Conservative Unrealism is their response to Soc.ial.ist Realism.
Morzer
@Redshift:
Basically Conservative Unrealism is their response to Soc.ial.ist Realism.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: i dont haz to speel.
ima mathemagician.
:)
Redshift
@Morzer:
LOL
jwest
@Morzer:
I would think it obvious that the only scientific explanation for kangaroos in Australia is that the only two jumped off of Noah’s Ark while the boat passed during the Great Flood.
They clung to small ice flows, but man had already begun assaulting the planet with global warming. So, as the ice flow shrank, the kangaroos looked for land where they could make a home. God, not wanting to lose a perfectly good species, blew the ice flow to the coast of Australia (and magically gave the kangaroos the ability to jump to New Guinea).
The rest is fairly technical, so I doubt you would understand it.
Redshift
@demz taters:
Please stop now; there isn’t enough brain bleach in the world to deal with that.
eemom
@Morzer:
You’re baaaaaaack! Yay!
hey-la, hey-la…..
FlipYrWhig
@jwest: Hank Paulson, Alberto Gonzalez, and Michael Chertoff aren’t exactly going to be on the cover of GQ.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: so how become you are back?
Sarah PTT schitck gettin old?
Earl Butz
WHY DID I CLICK THAT LINK
Goddamn it, I know better.
pk
Because ugly messages have to be given in attractive packages. No one would give Coulter or the Cupp creature a book deal if they looked like Golda Meir. The uglier the message the blonder the hair and higher the skirt (or larger the cod piece in the case of Bush). Sex sells everything including right wing garbage.
Samara Morgan
@eemom: hey-lah my boyfriends back?
but morzer is asiangirlmans
boyfriendspankie patient not yours!Rita R.
@cleek: Lip gloss was also part of Palin’s bag o’ tricks in the VP debate — I actually found it distracting, but the “starbursts” reaction shows it worked.
I realize that as a straight liberal woman I’m not the audience for this calendar, but that pornified photo of Michelle Malkin makes me glad I didn’t eat lunch yet, and Ann Coulter has been airbrushed out of recognition.
xian
@jwest: I recall that they weren’t all old white men.
Dennis SGMM
@demz taters:
That is just wrong – even for a blog that comes back Number 1 in a search for “kitten skull fucking.”
Morzer
@jwest:
Noah’s Ark, eh? Do you have any scientific proof that this Ark existed? Take your time.
Chris
@Redshift:
The songs are another form of that tribalism too, at least if you listen to country music, where you’re treated to the never-ending procession of songs about how much better things are in the country, how much better it is to be a country man or woman, and all that kind of stuff. There’s no equivalent in any of the more “liberal” kinds of music.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Some of us have an ass worth spanking. You really need to work on your jealousy, Billy-Bob-Beauregard. It’s one of your least appealing qualities.
Chris
@jwest:
Parody troll award of the year goes to this post. ROFLCOPTER.
someofparts
They’re still living in the 60s. Remember when Abbie Hoffman joked that hippie women were better looking than fundamentalist women? They’re still trying to get even for that. Same way that Nancy Reagan always seemed like a discount store imitation of Jackie Kennedy.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: only a crescent.
:)
i only have flashes….but i think i’ll call it the Global Democratic Singularity….more accessible, right? the Arab Spring is part of it, LOL?
the consent of the governed…..
demographic timer, Utoya, Arab Spring, UK riots, all part of the whole….of the moon…
Morzer
@eemom:
Wahey! I see that Matoko von Hump-hand is still speaking in tongues.
xian
@jwest: it’s just the obverse of the gay agenda.
jwest
@Morzer:
If it weren’t for liberals as naïve as you, there would be a lot of conservatives less rich than we are.
Svensker
If they invite women to participate in the calendar who RSVP’d for Ms. Booth Luce?
Chris
@pk:
There’s been a lot of good explanations in this thread but I think this one might be the best.
It’s just like the way their political campaigns are nothing but orgy after orgy of flag-waving and appeals to Jesus. There also, they wouldn’t spend nearly as much time and effort on the packaging if the actual content wasn’t shit covered in piss.
Samara Morgan
@Chris: how much better it is to be in
the countryDistributed Jesusland.This map, minus the cities.
hahaha!
Rita R.
@FlipYrWhig: Remember all the media hype about Donald Rumsfeld as a he-man sex symbol at the height of the post-9/11 and Iraq War frenzy? Beyond the Daddy issues involved, I think it’s about wishful thinking by the aging media barons and their equally graying journalisic mouthpieces and pundits who think a 70-something old fool is exactly what the young chicks dig.
Morzer
@jwest:
Interesting scientific proof of the Ark’s existence. How are you, DougJ?
DFH no.6
@jwest:
Fascist troll is fascist.
Feigns ignorance of such, though.
Still, upon further reflection – with self-awareness not being a strong suit among fascists, perhaps unfeigned at that.
Svensker
When your whole worldview is denialism, it’s not too hard to jump to the conclusion that Malkin & Co. are teh hawt. Also, insecure folks with big egos.
Look at The Donald. He actually believes he is a good looking guy and that gorgeous young women want to bang him for his charisma and hawtness. Now, after I vomit, I gotta wash my brain out with soap for even thinking about that.
brendancalling
I wouldn’t fuck any of those women with Erick Erickson’s dick.
Kristine
Aaand…the Pie Filter claims another victim.
Back on topic–not sure if anyone mentioned this upstream, but it’s also a case of reflected glory. Their leaders are rich and/or good-looking b/c they’re favored by God, and that means their followers are, too. Prosperity Xianity. Prosperity politics. Two facets of the same fake gem.
-ly Ballou
@Samara Morgan: Oooh! Samara Morgan, you’re so edgy and transgressive!
I wonder how long it’ll be before you get bored with your routine and reclaim your upper-middle-class WASP privileges and turn Republican or DMC Dem, as your kind of soi-disant “radical” always – and I mean fucking always – ends up doing.
eemom
@Svensker:
every time I think of The Donald I picture the Doonesbury version with the dead animal on its head and giggle my ass off. It helps.
Samara Morgan
O JUicers…..this is purrfect.
the Demographic Singularity™
dontcha luff it?
Dennis SGMM
@brendancalling:
Good call. How many times could you endure Bachman telling you to “Put it all the way in.”
Samara Morgan
@-ly Ballou: dint chu no? im a hereditary republican….guns, dogs and pony club.
i got the luck and said bye-di-bye to conservitardism forevah.
:)
Morzer
@Dennis SGMM:
I’d have to go with the pump-fake on this one.
-ly Ballou
@Samara Morgan: Yes, I suspected as much.
Thus my use of the term “reclaim”.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Apparently you bade English, logic and wit farewell at the same time. Of course, as a hereditary Repug you probably didn’t lose much worth knowing about. Bad genetic material always wins out.
OzoneR
Clare Booth Luce, author of the Luce-Cellar Act, wouldn’t be caught dead with the likes of Malkin, Coulter and Bachmann.
Samara Morgan
@Samara Morgan: the Global Demographic Singularity?
which is better?
ooooo! oooo! the non-WEC Singularity! props AL. :)
Rabble Arouser
@Big Baby DougJ: DougJ, I have personally worked with women in a political PAC outfit that GUSHED about being able to take pics with Clinton, even going so far as to brag that he patted them on the ass. Women love them some Clenis.
Yutsano
@-ly Ballou: Spoiled rich white girl pretending to rebel. We’ve all seen this movie before.
Dennis SGMM
@Morzer:
Okay, I’m laughing out loud. That’s something I didn’t think I could do today after paying the mechanic $600 to put the car back on the road.
Thank you!
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: i like the Sarah PTT aspect of you bettah…..much less bitter.
:)
Morzer
@Yutsano:
*nods*
They always go back to Tara in the end.
Amir Khalid
@Svensker:
I guess when the Luce family gave the Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute the right to use her name in their org, they also gave gave the CBLPI the right to use her picture in their calendar. That is, the CBLPI got to send themselves the RSVP on her behalf.
Samara Morgan
its just unbearable, isnt it?
you arent relly that different than the conservitards and white christian nativists–
Fukayama was wrong…its not the end of history….just the end of westerncentric history.
hahaha
these things do…best please me
which befall
prepost’rously!
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Unlike certain sad and confused little white rich Repug girls, I don’t have multiple personalities. Sarah is very much her own lady. You could learn a lot from her.
eemom
@Samara Morgan:
FFS, he’s NOT Sarah, you deranged infant. Go get another dead horse from your extensive collection to bang on.
Svensker
@OzoneR:
Well, apparently she was caught dead with them.
Morzer
@eemom:
She bangs dead horses? This explains a great deal!
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: and you could learn from me.
im the descendent of PIRATES, not confederates.
one of my ancestors had a letter of marque.
you are not relly understanding the demographic singularity, herr morzer.
9/11 was the day the third world struck back….successfully.
Tone In DC
STOP IT. Please.
Don’t feed her/him/it.
S
C
R
O
L
L
P
A
S
T
Samara Morgan
@Tone In DC:
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
More like the descendant of parrots, to judge from your habitual descent into uncomprehending word-saladese. Still, you can’t really be blamed for your bad genes and kako-memes. Go in peace, little confused gibberer in corners.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: make meh.
:)
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: you pretend you dont understand what im sayin’, just like Cole.
But you do.
this part is sooooo simple.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
How is the plantation these days, Scarlett O’Shamara? Are things simply lovely at Tara?
Frankly, my dear….
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: haha, but you doooooo give a damn, LOL.
you never argue substance, you just try to de-credential me.
:)
its a fascinating idea….are we now at the knee of the curve in the population demographics of non-white, non-christian, non-westerners?
terribly small subset of world population, and not at all fuzzy…(NHC)white and christian are exclusive.
morzer, do you think social media is the leveller?
i’ll have to look at the maffs.
:)
scav
@Samara Morgan: Soccer balls think it’s all about them too dear.
Samara Morgan
@scav: its not about me….its about global population demographics.
the Demographic Singularity.
Amir Khalid
@Tone In DC:
Responding to m_c might be futile in terms of eliciting sense from her. But not responding to her is also futile, because it never discourages her from gracing these threads with her flignts of fantasy and her obsessions (Assange good, LoOG bloggers bad, etc.).
We’re stuck with her. She won’t consider moving on, even though her dim view of most her fellow commenters, or for that matter the dim view so many of us take of her, gives her no rational reason to stay here. She’s like Balloon Juice’s own resident Moaning Myrtle.
RareSanity
I know I’m a little late to this one, but I did want to comment on this. Since we’re already 170+ comments in, I’m not going to go back through and check to see if someone already said this, I’m just going to say it.
GOP/Tea Party males are so sexually repressed, they cannot separate “I’d do her” from “I think she’s qualified to hold office”.
Usually, “liberal” guys don’t have these same issues. First, they’re usually not as repressed as their “conservative” counterparts. Second, they are more likely to look for something more than merely looking good.
I have a perfect movie reference that illustrates what I am saying. Listen to the difference in the “judging” of a suitable mate between Price Akeem (Eddie Murphy) and Simi (Arsenio Hall) in Coming To America.
Key exchange:
Prince Akeem: “I want a woman that can arouse my intellect as well as my loins.”
Simi: “Hippopotamus Shit! Your the heir to the thrown of Zamunda. Your wife need only have a pretty face, a firm backside & big breasts like a Casaba Melons.”
Simi is the GOP man, Prince Akeem is the Democratic man.
Yutsano
@Morzer:
I know Sarah Proud and Tall. You, good sir, are no Sarah Proud and Tall.
(the spoiled rich girl still won’t get it, but meh.)
Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony
@Rita R.:
By ‘young chicks’, you must mean the 60-something chicks who actually vote, as opposed to actual young chicks who, unfortunately, don’t.
Morzer
@Yutsano:
I think I agree with you, although I have to point out that Aristotle was not Belgian.
And no, she won’t.
scav
@Amir Khalid: I was thinking of her more like the local puffle, only sometimes we’re cruel and don’t feed her or wash her or whatever it is they do with the silly things in club penguin. And them sometimes? Who among us has not tortured our plastic toys at some point in our misguided and curiously satisfying youths.
And the Tamagotchi still thinks she’s influencing the outcome of the game.
Lysana
@Samara Morgan:
I am so glad you went there with the transphobia. What a shining example of how vapid and pathetic it is to judge someone’s gender based on physical attributes instead of accepting their word for it.
Amir Khalid
@scav:
I likened m_c to Moaning Myrtle because it’s a more apt nym for her than Hermione Granger-Weasley, which she used for a while. (I considered likening her to Merope Gaunt, but that would be too harsh.) As you observe, it can be difficult for someone like m_c to free herself from a gratifying delusion.
scav
@Amir Khalid: aahhhh, now I see. I’d forgotten that specific iteration in her active playacting life.
Samara Morgan
@Amir Khalid: its not that hard, O Undying.
I just said that 9/11 was a type of singularity.
the first time the third world struck back….successfully.
you dont understand that?
and then i talked about the global demographic singularity…i think we might be at the knee of the curve, where the ratio of non-white reproductive rates to white (NHC) reproductive rates begins to go asymptotic to the vertical.
brendancalling
@dennis sgm 162: I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about other men’s penises. I take it you do, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Have you got around to explaining to your unfortunate parents that their Christian racist asses are grass in T minus 20 years, or whatever your latest apocalyptic prophecy specifies as the kick-off for the Doom of Whitey?
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: why would i do that? what would be the point?
i cant even explain to you guys how pathetic it is for the US to beg the Iraqis to keep 3000 troops in Iraq.
we lost the battle for hearts and minds there years ago.
9/11 was both a singularity and a choice…. for America.
we chose torture, military power, and the secrecy-security state.
we chose to portray 9/11 as a bump in our road instead of the wake-up call presaging a New World Order.
game ovah.
would you like to play again?
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
You mean you haven’t personally executed your treasonous progenitors with a pearl-handled steam-powered revolver? What sort of radical are you? Next you’ll be telling us you still take their filthy capitalist pig money to fund your radical weed-consuming life as a pseudo-leftist with fuckwit stylings!
Tone In DC
@Amir Khalid:
I see your point, Amir.
Still, I need to get a pie filter on Firefox. STAT. Between m_c, jwest and few other recidivists, some of these threads are just redolent with scatological debris.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: but im a gamer.
killing kin is hardly pareto-optimization.
:)
@Tone In DC: im a quellist, not a recidivist.
cant you read?
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Fixed it for you.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Indeed. Without daddy’s money you might actually have to work for a living. Oh the horror!
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: lol morzer, you never attack me on substance. you allus wilin’ out on my upbringing, education, w/e, anything but the actual argument.
America chose to address 9/11 as a bump in our road– instead of the game changing wake-up call it actually was.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Well, make an argument, rather than gibbering apocalyptically about matters you clearly don’t understand. Contribute something to the thread, on topic. Make a break with your trollish past and show us you have something relevant to say. Try it. If you can.
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: i did.
i SAID America chose to address 9/11 as a bump in our road—instead of the game changing wake-up call it actually was.
meanwhile, noted exorcist comes out for Perry.
Morzer
@Samara Morgan:
Which relates to:
how, precisely?
Greyjoy
Win!
bcinaz
What did you expect – Policy?
Samara Morgan
@Morzer: oh you invited the vamphyre into the house with your talk of dead white guy phailosophy ans “psuedo-christians”.
you started it.
then we always wind up playing tit-for-tat with you adhomming me personally while i destroy you cherished make-believe America.
Samara Morgan
i was happily discussing messerschmidt syndrome and why, like backfire effect and right wing authority tendency it is only observed in conservatives.
then you had to start to scolding me and spewing personal adhoms.
you juicers always make the first cheat move.
that is is not a winning strat in tit-for-tat.
The Spy Who Loved Me
@Big Baby DougJ:
If I wasn’t married, I’d do him. Well, if he wasn’t married too, but you get the drift. They didn’t call him a hound dog for nothing.
Bruce S
“As you, I am fascinated by the sexualization of conservative leaders”
“As you?” Dude I quite reading the post when “conservative leaders” followed “sexualization.”
THE
@Samara Morgan:
That is just so wrong in so many ways, beginning with the fact that 15 of the 19 hijackers were Saudis, arguably the least third world people on the planet.
Though they do employ a lot of third worlders as servants, etc.
Samara Morgan
@THE: oh bulshytt. Saud is not relevent.
the Sauds are allied with America….al-Q is a stateless arabist organization..
But have it your way….then i’ll say the first time dar ul Islam successfully struck back.
and they were successful…beyond OBL’s wildest dreams of destruction.
plus al-Q taught Julian and the hacktivists the secret of paranoia induction.
the destruction continues.
:)
الموت للصليبيين
THE
You change your story to suit your point. In other places you point out how the USA has caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Muslims vs only a few thousand Americans. Since this is since the 9/11 attack, how can you call this victory?
You would have to say that USA has spent a lot more dollars, but dar ul Islam has lost far more lives as a result of the wars. It is very hard for me to see any victory on either side. I see only tragic waste.
But much, much worse than that. I see the Muslim world losing precious time, when they have so little time. The West can afford to fritter away a decade on war. Islam is running out of time as we pass Peak Oil.
You see the “Arab Spring” as something positive; but to me it is the beginning of the final unraveling of the MENA economy.
Above all, the food price crisis is getting worse, not better. The trend is really, really bad. Scroll down for the long-term REAL price trend (third chart). If I fit a fourth order polynomial, to project the trend, it is very scary. The world is facing catastrophe in the next few years. The Muslim world will suffer most because they are in the arid zone, and their population boom — They are heavily dependent on food imports.
Samara Morgan
lol! if the mission was to kill muslims we could have just nuked the arabian peninsula into a fused plain of black glass and slant drilled under it.
we tried to CONVERT them….the mission was Bush Doctrine/COIN/Peaceful Democracy Theory….aka conversion to missionary democracy with freedom of speech.
Epic Fail.
10 years, 14.3 trillion dollars, 7k dead american soljahs, Iraq is still 97% muslim and A-stan is still 99% muslim.
and food prices are going to fuel populist uprisings. not just in the ME. Consider what a half century of do-gooder fuckery has done to the population of Africa. triple digit population growth and half the population under 18.
THE
Sub Saharan Africa is not so bad. Because they are subsistence farmers, mostly. They gain from higher food prices.
No. Arid zones will be worst affected. Regions wealthy enough to import food in the past, but too dry and overpopulated to grow all they need.
THE
So far, the epicenter is here.
THE
You know I’ve been thinking a bit more about this comment of yours and I’ve realized that it only sounds impressive because there is a deep inconsistency in it.
If you are going to include the economic cost of the wars to the US as part of the cost of bin Laden’s action, then it is only reasonable to include the cost of the wars to the Muslim side as well.
The moment you do that, the cost to the ummah blows out. What is the cost of two million refugees from Iraq? What is the cost of millions of internally displaced people who lost their homes as a result of the civil war that caused people to have to move to other areas? What was the cost to Iraq in terms of a decade of lost oil exports? Or a decade of electricity shortages and trade dislocation? Checkpoints, shootings, bombings?
The war was waged in the middle of Iraq and Afghanistan and so the cost to the Ummah must include the cost of the loss of wealth, property, trade, GDP, etc.
I am sure that the economic cost of the wars to the people of Iraq and Afghanistan must amount to countless billions of dollars in value.
When you add it all up, I am not sure that the economic damage the US invasions inflicted, does not exceed the dollar cost to the US of fighting the overseas wars.