Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Republicans in disarray!

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

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58Comments

  2. 2.

    James E. Powell

    actually saw some jackass split 10’s twice and managed to not punch him in the neck

    I’m not a gambler. Can some one explain why splitting 10’s would merit a punch in the neck?

  3. 3.

    Arclite

    @James E. Powell: I think this is how it works:

    In black jack, when you get two of the same card, you can turn the covered (hole) card face up and get two more hole cards, essentially playing two hands at once, increasing your odds. Two 10s is already a great hand, and you’re kind of an idiot to split them as you’re giving up almost a sure win for much less surety. Here’s an article describing the strategy of it.

  5. 5.

    John Cole

    @James E. Powell: The game is to 21. You have 20 with two 10’s. Barring some freakish mathematical bullshit, you’ve won your bet. The only way to fuck it up and lose is to do something- anything. Like split the fucking ten’s.

  7. 7.

    Murc

    Splitting 10s (and 5s) is dramatically unsound, to the point that you never, ever do it because the odds are so highly against things turning out all right for you. There’s a lot of math involved if you really want there to be, especially for 5s, but for 10s… if you are capable of splitting tens the dealer just straight-up handed you a 20 right out of the gate. Why throw that away?

  9. 9.

    S. cerevisiae

    Only stupid Canadians split tens. Nothing against Canadians, but the majority of idiots making that play that I have seen are Canucks. Of course, that may be because I have a very small sample size.

  11. 11.

    Murc

    You can split other cards, but that’s high-level play and somewhat dependent on what the dealer is showing. ALWAYS split aces and eights, tho.

  14. 14.

    moot23

    I will say this once, because it’s worth saying. A person who sits down and pays can play any damn card they want.

  17. 17.

    Amir Khalid

    A bit more on Elizabeth Warren — a comedy piece in the Washington Post (don’t say I didn’t warn you) by Bloomberg View columnist William D. Cohan. Cohan says she should forget about the US Senate and work for Goldman Sachs,’cause they’d just love to hire someone like her.

  18. 18.

    YellowJournalism

    Splitting tens is stupid depending on what the dealer is showing. Haven’t played blackjack in a while, but I think it’s something like if a dealer is showing something low like a four, you split. Otherwise, don’t ruin a good thing.

    Or, if you’re counting cards…

  33. 33.

    burnspbesq

    Couldn’t sleep, so ended up watching France beat Russia in the Eurobasket semifinals. Tony Parker had a quiet 22, but Nicolas Batum was l’homme for Les Bleus with 19 and 7.

    France and Spain play for the championship on Sunday. Should be good.

    And as noted in the previous thread, Ireland sprang the upset at the RWC, beating Australia 15-6. I will be wearing my Ireland shirt today if I can remember where it is.

  34. 34.

    magurakurin

    If anyone is interested in casino games this site,The Wizard of Odds, is a really good resource. Good explanations of every possible game and the house edge on everything. I’m not a gambler myself, but I still find this stuff very interesting.

  35. 35.

    Ron

    People get mad at people who make stupid plays at blackjack because of some fear of taking the card that will bust the dealer away. The most obvious example would be say someone with a 13 taking a card with a 6 showing for the dealer. (Well more obvious would be taking a hit with 16 and a 6 up). It’s kind of silly because from the point of view probability whether or not you take a card doesn’t affect the likelihood of the dealer busting. That doesn’t stop people from getting annoyed. Personally I’m in the “it’s their money, let them do whatever the fuck they want” camp.

  37. 37.

    RossInDetroit

    There’s a perfectly good reason why people split 10s. The house’s advantage in the odds isn’t enough to ensure a reasonable profit, so a certain number of n00bs have to play badly. Attracting these losers is a big part of a casino’s advertising focus. The house tolerates the rational players who know the odds and will give it a small profit but they really want a lot of amateurs who will get tanked up on cheap booze and make bad decisions at the tables. That’s where the money is.

  38. 38.

    Keith

    actually saw some jackass split 10’s twice and managed to not punch him in the neck

    His money, his strategy.

  39. 39.

    RossInDetroit

    I’m in moderation as well. Can we have a glossary of acceptable substitutes for banned words and a chunk of code to auto-translate legit posts so they slip past the spam filters?

  40. 40.

    RossInDetroit

    There’s a perfectly good reason why people split 10s. The house’s advantage in the odds isn’t enough to ensure a reasonable profit, so a certain number of n00bs have to play badly. Attracting these losers is a big part of a ca51n0’s advertising focus. The house tolerates the rational players who know the odds and will give it a small profit but they really want a lot of amateurs who will get tanked up on cheap booze and make bad decisions at the tables. That’s where the money is.

  41. 41.

    Suffern ACE

    @Arclite:

    Jeez, you drove all the way to Atlantic city???!

    They’ve got casinos in WV and PA, so he doesn’t have to go that far. Someday, we’re all going to be rich and not have to pay taxes because of all that gambling revenue.

    Of course you don’t split tens. Split queens, though. Cause the lucky double queen hand will draw the aces nearer to the top of the deck and you don’t want to miss out on that action.

    (Disclaimer: Anyone following my gambling advice probably should just get up from the table and enjoy the buffet instead).

  43. 43.

    eastriver

    In the world of blackjack, splitting the ten of spades and the ten of clubs is known as a “Michael Moore.”

    (Oooh, he said “spade”, he must be a racist.)

  44. 44.

    zzyzx

    The reason why is that blackjack players are superstitious. They think bad play from other players always hurts them when the odds are even that it would help them…

  45. 45.

    magurakurin

    @Keith:

    plus, it doesn’t affect any other gamblers play. The cards have no memory or bias. Whether they go to a skilled player or a drunken player or nobody at all(playing alone.) The house edge remains what it is regardless and even when playing the basic strategy perfectly it never goes away completely. Only a highly skilled card counter can gain an advantage over the house, and there are very few people with that level of skill.

    No reason to get upset about how another player chooses to gamble. It doesn’t affect anyone but himself.

  46. 46.

    Keith

    @John Cole: Depends on what the dealer is showing. If the dealer shows 14, I’ll split two 10s in a heartbeat (and really, I would probably split – depending on how I am doing – if the dealer holds anything from 12-15). Now, if you want to play “by the book” for every hand, that’s another story, but I don’t typically win much playing that way.

    @magurakurin: It could affect your hand if they are ahead of you, but there isn’t much of a point in getting upset with how someone else plays, since, as you said, it is their hand to play (and if the player doesn’t like it, s/he can move seats/tables). But someone else “taking” your card is just part of the game and it is up to all players to take that into consideration when betting.

  48. 48.

    khead

    (actually saw some jackass split 10’s twice and managed to not punch him in the neck)

    Careful…. Are you sure it wasn’t Dana Holgorsen?

  49. 49.

    greylocks

    Here’s a decent explanation of splitting tens and why casual players shouldn’t do it.

    Also too, I stopped playing blackjack in part because I get tired of probability-challenged morons who bitch about how other people’s play “cost” them a win. Funny how they never bitch when other player’s mistake resulted in their winning the hand.

  50. 50.

    some other guy

    @Keith:

    “It could affect your hand if they are ahead of you…”

    Yes, but his point is that the bad player is equally likely to *positively* affect your hand as he is to negatively affect it. In the long run, a bad player has zero net impact on the odds of the people sitting around.

  51. 51.

    Ron

    @RossInDetroit: The house is perfectly content to let everyone play correct strategy as long as there is no card counting. The edge is sufficient to make a profit just from the volume. Also they have enough other table games with large house edges. The main thing the house wants is speed and large wagers, because those increase the volume of money being bet. (There’s a reason they give big comps to the whales)

  54. 54.

    Aristotle

    @moot23:

    I will say this once, because it’s worth saying. A person who sits down and pays can play any damn card they want.

    Bravo, sir! I play basic strategy, so I’m always amused by the guys who hit on 17 against a dealer 5, or stand on 13 against a dealer 9, or yes, split 10s. But yeah — it’s that guy’s money and what he does isn’t going to make one difference in my outcome over the long-term, so if he wants to make a stupid play, who am I to complain?

  55. 55.

    licensed to kill time

    I think it’s funny that Cole would put up a late night post that’s practically guaranteed to put anyone who comments about the topic into moderation, then go to bed. He’s probably still snoring as we speak.

    It’s the gam.bling words, folks o.O

  56. 56.

    James E. Powell

    I realize I am very late coming back to this, but I want to thank John and all of you for the black jack instruction. In the unlikely event that I ever end up at a blackjack table, I will be able to avoid neck punches.

  57. 57.

    Keith

    @some other guy: Very true, although a gambler will probably never think about the times that another player’s non-book play will help their hand; they only notice when they get a bad hand.

  58. 58.

    paul Thomas

    It’s an old Bill Cosby routine……..

    “Split them face cards!!! What the hell, there are 4 aces in the deck!!!!

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