There hasn’t been much noise in the MSM, apart from the FoxGoogle debate, but the Super-Conservative wing of the Conservative Republican Conservatives have actually spent the whole last three days networking & nitpicking in Orlando — presumably as a kind of warm-up / road-test for next year’s GOP Convention in Tampa, aka “the herpes sore on America’s wang”. I’m very grateful that Dave Weigel at Slate has been covering the three-ring tent show, because I’d rather read about such antics at one remove, and besides, Weigel has a sharp eye for the telling detail…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Ralph Reed has never lost his knack for PR. His Faith & Freedom Coalition (“Pro-Family, Pro-Freedom”) is holding its inaugural Florida conference right across the street from the Florida GOP’s three-day “Presidency 5” summit/debate/straw poll. Seven presidential candidates will speak on a stage framed on the right by the American flag, the state flag of Florida, and the flag of Israel…
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I noticed that William Temple, the costumed “Tea Party patriot” who materializes at every one of these events as if beamed down from the Enterprise, was seated not far from us…We chatted briefly about Temple’s favorite topic of the day: The Christian faith of the founders.
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“They said that we might lose our way if we didn’t elect Christians,” said Temple. “And I ask you, have we gotten there yet?”
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Who was “they”? It wasn’t from the Constitution, Temple explained. He pulled out a sheaf of paper, flipping past some maps of Orlando to find a quote from revolutionary era North Carolina Gov. Samuel Johnston.It is apprehended that Jews, Mahometans, pagans, etc., may be elected to high offices under the government of the United States Those who are Mahometans, or any others who are not professors of the Christian religion, can never be elected to the office of President, or other high office, but in one of two cases. First, if the people of America lay aside the Christian religion altogether, it may happen. Should this unfortunately take place, the people will choose such men as think as they do themselves….
Jews, Mahometans, Pagans! Speaking of scary juxtapositions, here’s my first introduction to a group that makes “GOProud” seem almost reasonable by comparison:
At noon [Friday], instead of racing back to the main hall of CPAC Florida to watch a few presidential candidate speeches, I dropped into the second Tea Party Debt Commission meeting, sponsored by FreedomWorks. Dick Armey’s Tea Party collossus took over the dining room of a Denny’s, put a powerpoint presentation on a flat screen TV, and began 90 minutes of debate about how to cut the budget.
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I grabbed a seat at a table with a group of Frederick Douglass Republicans, black conservatives who shared their stories of speaking at Tea Party events and making converts. They were having some success, they said, in converting fellow black men. “Frederick Douglass is a badge of honor,” explained K. Carl Smith, who was selling a book about his politics. “Barack Obama is a shield of shame.”
Luck, reporter’s instinct, prescience? Here’s the results of tonight’s culminating straw poll:
Herman Cain won the Presidency 5 Florida Straw poll with 996 votes, 37.1 percent of the total, blowing past Rick Perry and Ron Paul, both of whom had organized to win here. He more than doubled the Perry vote; more delegates chose Cain than chose Perry and Romney, combined.
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“It shows you something,” said Gov. Rick Scott. “The road to the White House is right through Florida. It pays to be here.”
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Of course, Perry had shown up — he was here from Thursday night to Saturday morning, working over delegates personally. By failing so convincingly, Perry’s ensured that the weekend’s “trouble for frontrunner narrative” will be plated in gold and frozen in amber.
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“I’m okay with second place,” shrugged Perry supporter Tony Jackson, from Hillsborough County. “But let’s be honest. Losing by 22 points is pretty bad. Perry’s a better speaker than debater.”
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Why is Cain’s win so impressive? This wasn’t a vote a campaign could overwhelm with its own supporters. To win the Ames straw poll, you need to buy $35 tickets for as many Iowans as possible. Here, delegates were selected in counties, and had to pay $175 to attend the weekend’s events. The relatively poor showing by Paul is better than he could have pulled off in 2007 — he got less than 5 percent of the primary vote — but it gives us a more realistic picture of his grassroots backing. Meanwhile, in the Tea Party-flavored GOP, Cain is a rock star who generated deep effection. Multiple delegates told me they wanted to send the message that he should be second on the ticket.
I know — the CW smart money says it’s Romney/Perry, or maybe Perry/Romney, as of 13 months from the actual election. Which is good news for us Democrats, because (barring unspeakable tragedy) any combination involving either of those two cements President Obama’s second term. But I am sufficiently small-minded and partisan to take pleasure in a scenario where Romney OR Perry is forced to pretend personal comity with a man who, however deluded his politics, has actually lived all the bootstrapping, personal-responsibility, make-your-own-success parables they’ve been forced to mouth as pieties for the rubes.
Yutsano
Very little doubt in my mind Cain’s playing for second banana now. And wingnut heads will asplode when that happens.
Spaghetti Lee
Cain’s been hanging around a lot longer than weirdo novelty candidates usually do, but I still just can’t picture him getting the VP slot, and not merely for racial reasons. These straw polls are not similar in procedure to actual elections, and part of the point of the win was that he had to really beat the odds to do it. Can he keep beating the odds, for 13 months? Just doesn’t seem like it.
Citizen Alan
@Yutsano:
I’m not so sure. Cain, like Clarence Thomas and Alan Keyes, is “one of the good ones,” an African-American committed to the idea of the inferiority of all other African-Americans who vote Democratic and who have not achieved such a level of personal wealth that it erases the stigma of something as mundane as skin color. For the racist/classist Tea Party wing of the GOP, can there possibly be any greater victory than electing a black Republican President totally committed to the destruction of our social safety net and the end of civil rights for all citizens of color who make less than $250,000 a year?
amk
i-o-ughh straw poll knocked out the crazy wimmin candidate. Hopefully flo-ughh-rida straw poll will knock out the crazy blackety black candidate too.
Xenos
@Citizen Alan: Indeed. Right wingers do not explicitly consider themselves to be racists, and have internalized the public speech limitations described by Lee Atwater.
Having a ‘right-thinking’ African-American, who has all the real world Horatio Alger-style credentials they claim to value, and who does not show any threat of denouncing the bulk of Republicans as fools, dunces, or rubes, is ideal. His experience as a Baptist preacher is the cherry on top.
Definately going to be VP, especially when he makes a perfect complement to the weaknesses of both Romney and Perry.
Money in the bank.
James L
As a central Floridian I am offended and pretty well pissed- off by Anne Laurie’s unattributed quotation comparing the city of Tampa to genital herpes.
In order for that joke to be funny there has to be an element of truth to it. Outside of Tampa’s terrible public transit it’s a pretty nice place.
Monkey Business
Well, Bachmann won the Ames Straw Poll, and she’s basically dead meat at this point.
Cain is Alan Keyes, who Obama thoroughly thumped (and is the origin of the 27% theory).
Romney and Perry are the only people you need to pay attention to, because only one of them will be on the ticket.
Romney says “The Republican party is more interested in beating Obama than maintaining purity and unity in the party ranks.”
Perry says “The Republican party has gone full retard. Abandon all hope, ye that have registered Republican.”
Monkey Business
Well, Bachmann won the Ames Straw Poll, and she’s basically dead meat at this point.
Cain is Alan Keyes, who Obama thoroughly thumped (and is the origin of the 27% theory).
Romney and Perry are the only people you need to pay attention to, because only one of them will be on the ticket.
Romney says “The Republican party is more interested in beating Obama than maintaining purity and unity in the party ranks.”
Perry says “The Republican party has gone full retard. Abandon all hope, ye that have registered Republican.”
suzanne
I don’t see Cain in the VP slot for either Romney or Perry.
Romney needs a Bachmann/Palin type. Perry needs intellectual credibility and someone with Washington contacts. A Cheney. My husband thinks it’ll be Haley Barbour.
Satanicpanic
No way Cain gets the VP. Even with that 9-9-9 plan that sounds suspiciously like a pizza offer. OT, watching Jesus Camp right now and it’s freaking me out!
SP +4
rikyrah
Cain is nothing but a slave catcher. and a dumb one at that. he’s strictly amateur hour.
AA+ Bonds
:| Way to reprint Dave Weigel, the libertarian
Martin
Love Cain winning this poll. I don’t read anything into him as candidate, or his race as a factor, or anything else, but the more chaos in the GOP barn, the better.
piratedan
and we’re basing this speculation on Republican voters who managed to get a Corporate Executive convicted of Medicare fraud elected as Govenor…. on the other hand, nevermind, I guess that makes perfectly good sense, when I attempt to understand anything that resembles reason when Republicans are concerned.
Mike
@Citizen Alan: I don’t know about that. I know quite a few conservatives who’s heads would explode if their nominee was black, and that’s because they are self admitted racists (and proud of it). I don’t think that any exceptions you’ve made would make them feel any more comfortable about it.
JCJ
@James L:
I think the reference was to Florida being the wang with the Republican convention being the herpes sore.
jheartney
I keep looking back to the 2008 GOP Presidential nominating process, which consisted of round-robin pan flashes from the various buffoons-on-offer till at last they had to settle on the nearest thing to a reasonable candidate that they had available (even though he’d been earlier rejected).
For 2012, I figured Perry had the right stuff to go the distance (solidly wingnut, a Y chromosome, and generally acceptable to the GOP business wing), but he is apparently flaming out early due to general stupidity, plus baggage from his time as Governor (a wingnut-unpopular favor to Big Pharma, and his seemingly insufficient hatred of melanin).
So if they are chucking Perry, they’ll need to go with Romney (Cain, I’m pretty certain, will not ever become POTUS). They just need to work their way through the other losers before they get to him.
gocart mozart
Hmm, Fredrick Douglass. This seems an odd hero for tri-corner hat wearing teabag nation. Let us quote from the old man himself, specifically, a speech entitled “What to a slave is the 4th of July?” delivered to the Ladies of the “Rochester Anti Slavery Sewing Society,” on July 5th 1852.
http://www.lib.rochester.edu/index.cfm?page=2945
facepalm
opie jeanne
I saw a Ron Paul ad that disappeared before I could follow it back to its home, but it was collecting signatures to stop Obama from mistreating veterans.
WTF?
Does anyone know what this is about?
Yutsano
What, Applebee’s wasn’t available? Bobo just died a little inside.
@opie jeanne: No clue. But odds are it’s nothing but rank Ron Paul hypocrisy again.
BTW I’ll be up in Woodinville tomorrow.
jl
“To win the Ames straw poll, you need to buy $35 tickets for as many Iowans as possible. Here, delegates were selected in counties, and had to pay $175 to attend the weekend’s events.”
What does “had to pay $175 to attend the weekend’s events” mean? Seems like it means that in addition to the cost of getting to the shindig, people had to pay an admission fee. Is that right?
This new version of the GOP sure follows the maxim “Money talks and BS walks”, all the way to voting. They poll tax their own base. Yeesh.
Satanicpanic
@jl:
I’m not one of those people who awards points for people standing by the courage of their own misguided convictions, so all I can do is point and laugh.
gocart mozart
@jl:
I think it doubles as a State Party fundraiser. This is why I don’t think it is a representative sample of Fla wingnutitude.
gocart mozart
@gocart mozart:
Shorter Me: I thought Booker T. Washington was supposed to have been the “good negro” and Douglass was the “Commie America-hating negro”? I has a confusion. Well I suppose if you can sell Hitler as a liberal . . .
cokane
I would never read to much into straw polls, especially where participants have to pay. Cain is a novelty candidate as others have said. Bachmann won in Ames and has a zero chance to be the Prez nom, and an almost zero chance to be the VP slot.
It’s no surprise that Cain’s supporter would say he’s shooting for VP slot, that’s obvious. I think all the Republicans running who are not named Romney or Perry are basically running for the VP slot. I don’t see Cain getting picked though it is a possibility if Romney were to win. Cain won’t steal any significant amount of black support. Cain’s constituencies are the south and the hard right, both groups are unlikely to need any further persuasion to vote R even with a Romney nomination.
Yutsano
@cokane:
FTFY. Willard still has his religion being labeled as a Satanic cult to contend with. He’ll need whatever boost he can get there. Though I don’t see him getting too far.
(edited for clarity)
jl
@gocart mozart:
I think these straw polls are silly PR stunts, so, I guess the connection to a fundraiser makes sense.
Do the Dems use similar ludicrous gimmicks in their primaries?
If the Democrats degrade our great and exceptional Republic with similar freak shows, I am oblivious to them, even though I do election work.
cokane
Also, imo, Cain would be a major liability to a campaign. He’s been able to avoid the spotlight, but if he were thrust into it, he would do poorly. He’s a political neophyte. A long campaign with him on the ticket would expose him, and he would say the same dumb things Palin and Bachmann have said.
cokane
@Yutsano: yeah, i don’t really need your editing. The hard right doesnt need any persuasion in this election. They are convinced that Obama is the worst president of all time in all of the world forever and ever. They will overlook any flaw and inconsistency with Romney and vote against Obama. They’ve already done this all across the country in 2010.
fuckwit
@James L: Indeed. And it’s also terribly bigoted against people with herpes.
Any fat people with herpes in Tampa must be crying right now. And it’s all the fault of those insensitive bloggers.
(Sure, the swipe at Tampa was unnecessary and distracting, but the whole PC thing around here is starting to really get wearying.)
jl
@gocart mozart: Their knowledge of real world history seems so limited, what they say is probably random. Look for a positive Nat Turner reference sooner or later.
fuckwit
@Yutsano: Does Denny’s have a salad bar? And does it have arugula?
Silly people are in charge of a very seriously fucked-up country.
Spaghetti Lee
@Yutsano:
People don’t vote for candidates any more, they vote against them. And Barack Obama is the against-iest candidate a right-winger could ever imagine. I’m not sure the far right has ever gotten “their guy”, but that hasn’t stopped them from dutifully voting Republican.
Think about it, even if there’s people out there who hate Mormons enough to not vote for one for that very reason, who’s the other guy? A goddamn secret Muslim! At the least, those two cancel each other out, at the most, they all fear Muslims so much that they’ll run into the arms of, yes, even a Mormon.
Uriel
@James L:
Well, Anne does tend to bask in the glory of parochial stereotypes based on nothing more than her ignorance and unearned sense of superiority- god bless her. Someone needs to step up, from time to time, and inform us lesser beings that all those things we think we know, built on the flimsy foundations of having, you know, actually lived them, are nothing more than tissue thin illusions.
It’s a hard row, I’m sure.
Yutsano
@Spaghetti Lee:
Their real problem is that’s not enough. They need someone who can at least act like they meet their purity tests or can at least be marketed to them that can still win a general. And that calculus really has changed. They want nothing but purity this time around it seems, but every one of their leaders is failing on some grounds.
Quiddity
Weigel has been very good lately.
Frankensteinbeck
@Yutsano:
What we saw in the 2010 midterms WAS out of bounds of the normal. The slew of primaries where the fringe nutcases pushed a fringe nutcase into the nomination because the mainstream GOP was not insane enough was weird. That worked okay in a rebound midterm election in local gerrymandered seats. It got their butts kicked in statewide Senate seats. Did ANY of the tea partiers make the Senate besides Rand Paul who ran away from them immediately in the general? And he won a close race in Kentucky which should have been a gimme.
Making predictions this early in the campaign has always been useless. I can’t figure out who’s left who even could beat Romney, but who knows? But even the usual uselessness is useless this year.
Martin
Oh hai! We’re still assholes.
Calouste
@Martin:
Also still bad at math. We just need one Native-American woman to show up and buy all their cookies for a round $0.00. But that is so fucking offensive that the university should revoke their charter.
Basilisc
Anyone know what “Presidency 5” means? Is it that the next Repub president will be the fifth True Believer (after Nixon, Reagan, Bush Sr and Jr)? Or that the next presidency will the fifth of the Enlightened Era (ie the fifth guy after Reagan)? Or something equally ludicrous?
Keith G
It matters little. For many months it has been clear that the nomination is Romney’s to lose.*
*Those of us in Texas know Perry as a man with notable limits.
squirrelhugger
Reactionaries. They’re called reactionaries. Reagan was a conservative. W.M. Buckley was a conservative. These people are reactionaries. Words frame ideas. Put them in their own proper category, and their ideas become isolated.
CarolDuhart
From Presidency 5
Further information: “After the success of Presidency 1, the Republican Party of Florida decided to host a follow-up debate and straw poll. “Presidency 2” occurred on November 14, 1987. The results of the straw poll projected George H.W. Bush to be the Republican Party nominee in the general election. Bush did in fact win the national nomination over fellow Republicans Bob Dole, Jack Kemp, Pat Robertson, and Pierre S. du Pont, IV. He later defeated Democrat Michael Dukakis in the general election of 1988.
“Presidency 3” was the next step in Florida’s emergence as a political power player. With two previous successful straw polls, the Republican Party of Florida played host once again to Republican presidential candidates on November 18, 1995. When the last vote was cast by Republicans from across the state, Bob Dole, emerged as the victor over hopefuls Lamar Alexander, Pat Buchanan, Robert K. Dornan, Steve Forbes, Phil Gramm, Alan Keyes, Richard Lugar, and Morry Taylor. Dole took on the challenge of running against Bill Clinton in the general, but was defeated in 1996.
Although the decision was made to nix the straw poll portion of “Presidency 4”, the event led the path, along with Florida’s early Presidential Preference Primary, in deciding the winner of the Republican nomination for President of the United States. There were eight participants in Presidency 4 and the debate included Senator John McCain, Governor Mitt Romney, Governor Mike Huckabee, Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Senator Fred Thompson, Congressman Tom Tancredo, Congressman Ron Paul, and Congressman Duncan Hunter.
Presidency 5 will begin on September 22, 2011 in Orlando and promises to continue a legacy of influence and excellence in state and national politics.”
Svensker
The flag of Israel? For an American election event? I’m sure the venerated Founding Fathers would approve!
Hewer of Wood, Drawer of Water
@AA+ Bonds: What an insightful comment. Can you tell me exactly what, if anything, Weigel said that was wrong? If the analysis is good, who cares who wrote it.
Comrade Dread
@Svensker: Yeah. You really surprised though?
For the premillenial dispensational evangelical crowd (a small sliver of Christendom, but a loud and influential faction in the GOP), everything the state of Israel does must be supported or God will curse us.
debbie
Those who parade about in colonial dress will never be able to reconcile a Cain candidacy with original intent.
Neal
As a proud Tampa native, I’m just going to say that AL is a terrible blogger and I wish I could filter her posts out of my BJ feed so I wouldn’t waste my time with her self-righteous bullshit. What a petty person. On a regular basis.
PurpleGirl
@opie jeanne: I vaguely remember someone in Congress submitting a bill regarding changes to Veterans’ benefits, especially changing the formula for retirement benefits for career service members. I haven’t searching for more information yet, though.
PurpleGirl
I Googled that herpes quote and found it (besides the reference here at BJ) at a web site (AR15.com) thread about the Miami Heat and one commenter claimed he used it to refer to Miami and not the team.
ppcli
The founders were opposed to “Jews, Mahometans, pagans” occupying high elected office? But that can’t be! The wingnuts are constantly talking about the *Judeo*-Christian values of the founders. What a shocker to learn that eighteenth century hardcore Christians actually hated Jews. Who could have seen that coming?
Matt
@Martin:
They left out one – the $500 “executive edition” cookie. It comes wrapped in $600 worth of cash. ;)
Judas Escargot
@Matt:
Or the Hedge Fund cookie: If you have ten million dollars or more in the bank, your purchase will be taxed at 15 percent. Everyone else gets to pay 35%.
Anitamurie
@suzanne: Haley Barbour-That’s an interesting thought. Your husband may be on to something but most likely only if Romney get’s the ticket. Barbour is pure southern and I’ve seen many comments suggesting he has more than a bit of support out there. Barbour’s biggest handicap in my opinion however is the fact that he resembles (and in reality thinks like), the Hollywood stereotype of the fat racist sheriff or some other fat bigot, like the character Porky in the movie “Porky’s”. I think this may be a turn off for a great deal of non-southern voters.
Jay C
@ppcli:
Actually, Samuel Johnston seems to have had a more nuanced attitude towards those various infidels than Mr. Temple might think: from the Wikipedia entry: the following bit from the quotation he cited:
While Old Sam, probably, might not have been too thrilled at the prospect of “Js, Ms & Ps” getting elected to office, at least he was willing to admit the possibility….
Lyrebird
@gocart mozart: Awesome link, thank ye kindly!
Lyrebird
@ppcli: FWIW here’s what George Washington said:
This was in response to a letter from Moses Seixas of Rhode Island, who thought that brand-new Constitution established
Tea bag fans might not like the “machine” bit, nor would they have approved of the communitarians further north (“Pilgrims”)…
link:
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/US-Israel/bigotry.html
Fencedude
@James L:
As a fellow Central Floridian, I suggest you learn to take a goddamn joke.
MonkeyBoy
I get the feeling that Cain is to some extent the Putney Swope of the candidates – a way of essentially voting “none of the above”.
From Wikipedia:
Nancy Irving
@gocart mozart:
It was W E B Du Bois, not Douglass, who was contrasted with Booker T Washington. Du Bois was supposed to be the wild-eyed radical demanding immediate change, to Washington’s “good Negro” who argued for gradual amelioration of the black man’s lot.
Du Bois (pronounced “DOO BOYZ”) and Washington were roughly contemporaries; Douglass was of the much earlier Civil War era.
This wild-eyed black radical versus well-behaved Negro trope seems to have lasting appeal; Malcolm X and MLK were treated the same way.
Strangepork
You fools are all missing the point…elect Herman Cain, and we all get free pizza.
And to the weeping babes of Tampa, and their tear-stained defenses of their great city’s honor, to describe it as the herpes sore on America’s wang would have been cruel and untrue, if that was indeed what Anne Laurie was saying. She was stating that the GOP Convention was akin to a herpes sore, but don’t let things like reading comprehension get in the way of having yourselves a good cry.
I’ve lived in Tampa, and it’s clearly more of a sebaceous cyst.
Biff Longbotham
@Strangepork:
As Lightning McQueen would say, “Ka-chow!”