Back in the spotlight, Newton…
Fort Dodge, Ia. – Same-sex marriage is a temporary aberration that will dissipate, Newt Gingrich said here today.
__
“I believe that marriage is between a man and woman,” Gingrich said. “It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know.”
Found out about this from the inestimable Charlie Pierce:
In case you’re wondering how many punchlines are contained in the words “temporary aberration” in the context of Newt Gingrich’s thoughts on the institution of marriage, well, I’m into triple digits and it’s only lunchtime.
__
All I can say is it’s got to be one helluva sturdy petard.
For those among us who are too big-souled high-minded for fat jokes, the key phrases would be “temporary, as with NG’s three-and-counting opposite-sex civil couplings” and “Genuis namesake fueling alternate energy sources via spinning in his grave”…
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Are you suggesting Newt is throwing his weight around on this issue?
EDIT: Thread first reply! Hooray for me!
Hob
Just to be really pedantic: the “sturdy petard” joke doesn’t make sense, because a petard isn’t something you lift things up with; it’s a bomb. In the phrase “hoist with his own petard”, “hoist” meant “blown up”.
LongHairedWeirdo
Just to be pedantic on a Friday afternoon, the origin of the expression is that someone will “turn over in their grave” to turn their back on something exceptionally awful, so awful that, even though they are *dead*, they find the force of will to turn their back on it.
The turning one’s back on something awful has become so violent and so needful that it’s become “spinning” in one’s grave.
I bring this up for two reasons:
First, it’s an interesting tidbit.
Second, I’m not 100% sure of it, and as everyone knows, the best way to get information on the internet is not to ask a question, it’s to post something wrong.
gelfling545
That whole A man and A woman for “all of recorded history” is not quite accurate. You’ve got the man and any number of women deal right in his own precious Bible – unless he’s admitting that that’s not history.
Tom Levenson
That namesake would, of course, be Isaac Newton who was uninterested personally in the institution of marriage between any combination of genders, and whose commitment to heresy viewed through lenst of Newt’s conversion to a parody of religiosity would disqualify the (much) smarter Newton in the (much) dumber Newt’s eyes.
(My man Izzy was a serious Arian, anathema to anyone professing Catholicism.)
RossInDetroit
Everything that comes out of Newt’s mouth these days looks like a barrel full of groggy carp with targets on their backs.
RossInDetroit
I figured out why I like Pierce’s political writing. He writes about politics like a sportswriter. He’s entertaining and colorful. Reminds me of the late automotive writer Tom McCahill, who I still read though he’s 35 years and more out of date.
chopper
just to be pedantic, the term ‘punch line’ really refers to the old custom of adding emphasis to a particular part of a joke for emphasis. from the middle english ‘punchen’, etc etc
cmorenc
I’ve concluded that Newt Gingrich years ago realized he had no realistic chance any more, not just as a serious Presidential candidate but as a politician. INSTEAD, he’s launched an extremely successful second career as a performance artist whose shtick is brilliant self-parody. Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin I can truly believe are as witlessly obtuse as they appear; Newt I have a harder time believing is as colossally lacking in self-awareness or as irony-challenged as he superficially appears. It’s more plausible that he’s the Andy Kaufman of right-wing politics, except that he wrestles women in bed rather than in a ring.
RossInDetroit
@cmorenc:
If only. That would actually be entertaining. Sort of a more straight-faced Colbert.
More likely he’s just a shameless hustler who has identified rubes to fleece and doesn’t care who sees him doing it.
trollhattan
@cmorenc:
I’m guessing in the case Frau Newton #3–the Stepford Edition–his second career is that of a non-performance artist, nomsayn’?
RossInDetroit
“We” in this case being straight white conservatives who have been married three times.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
Not to be pedantic at all, but although a “petard” is indeed a bomb, the root of the name is the Latin/French word for “breaking wind,” so to be “hoist with one’s own petard” is to be lifted into the air by the force of one’s own farts. Which seems peculiarly appropriate for little Newty.
matryoshka
Newt’s three marriages have certainly been temporary aberrations.
RSA
Just to be pedantic, “the inestimable Charlie Pierce” and “the estimable Charlie Pierce” are almost indistinguishable in ordinary usage.
(Sorry, all the good pedantry was already taken.)
soonergrunt
Another piece of news on the same sex marriage front–the Pentagon today released a statement that military chaplains may perform civil unions or marriages for military personnel who are in a same sex relationship, either on or off-base.
The decision is specifically written in such a way that military chaplains are not required to perform acts that violate the tenants of their respective faiths or personal consciences, or local laws.
So in other words, military chaplains will now deal with same-sex marriage/civil unions in the same way they deal with marriages involving straight personnel.
ppcli
@cmorenc: Newt is the William Shatner of politics. Explains a lot.
eemom
I’ve heard of low hanging fruit….shooting fish in a barrel….leading with your chin.
But this shit? I do believe we’ll have to come up with a whole new cliche to do justice to Newt Thrice-Divorced-Dumper-of-Wives-On-Their-Deathbeds Gingrich, lecturing the rest of the world about the sanctity of marriage.
lamh34
Congratulations Representative Polis!
Jared Polis Announces Birth Of Son, Becoming First Openly Gay Parent In Congress
Hill Dweller
I’m probably late to the party, but the very real possibility(inevitability?) of Republicans taking over the White House and congress in 2013 hit me like a ton of bricks today. These assholes destroyed the country, and have done everything to prevent anything positive from happening since Obama took office, but are likely to be rewarded for it. We have become one of the stupidest country in recorded history.
For the record, Obama isn’t blameless. I’m not absolving him of anything, but it boggles the mind to think Obama and Democrats are likely to pay the heaviest price for the financial crisis.
Zifnab
We’re going to have to take the Steven Colbert approach to this claim and ask how successful Newt’s been at fundraising before we can confirm or deny the veracity of his statements.
Short Bus Bully
Newt is apparently taking the ignored child tactic of “if I shit in my hands and wipe it on my face will you pay attention to me NOW?” Should pay big dividends.
srv
I’m wondering if I should start watching SNL again. Exactly how could it not be non-stop hysterical without all this material?
agrippa
Gingrich is wrong. Same sex marriage is not going away.
It seems to me that Gingrich does not want to retire. I think that he has a hard accepting the fact that his political career is over.
lamh34
I always love the Black Snob’s take on things having to do with African American politics and pop culture. She always brings the funny and the relevant posts, IMHO. Check her out if you already haven’t.
Democrats Pushing For Inquiry on Clarence Thomas
MikeJ
@srv:
I’m not sure, but based on experience they’re up to the challenge.
burnspbesq
This is all just an unwelcome distraction from what really matters:
BASEBALL!
Rays, 6-0 after four innings.
MikeJ
Stephen Fry
Spaghetti Lee
I believe marriage is between a man and a woman and a woman and a woman, and probably another woman soon enough.
Svensker
@RSA:
:)
Zifnab
@Hill Dweller:
Everything is playing out eerily similar to Clinton’s tenure. I’m not saying that’s an excuse to take it easy and being active, but I think it does say something about the tolerance the general public has for right-wing shenanigans.
Everyone’s poll numbers are in the gutter right now. That increases the risk of us losing the White House and the Senate, but it also increases the risk of Republicans giving us back the House. There’s a lot of dissatisfaction floating around, and its not all pointed at Obama and the Democrats.
lamh34
This one was so good, I had to post the whole thing.
Herman Cain Tries To Win Over Black People By Insulting Their Intelligence
lamh34
More on Cain from Black Snob.
Herman Cain Tries To Win Over Black People By Insulting Their Intelligence
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@Svensker: As long as all the good pedants aren’t taken, I still have a chance to get lucky.
Quaker in a Basement
@chopper: Good! I see your pedantry and raise you with this:
Mr. Pierce is not inestimable, he is estimable, worthy of our esteem. We are not estimating him.
Steeplejack
@burnspbesq:
FTFY! They’re playing later, but I thought I’d get that in early.
Still in mourning for the Braves. But, like the Red Sox, they did it to themselves.
MikeJ
Baseball? Is it time for spring training already?
sob…
piratedan
@ppcli: i’m sorry, but that’s a grievous insult to William Shatner, who I’ll posit was pretty good in the short-lived series Barbary Coast. Now if you want to claim that he’s a standard-bearer for all things Republican, well then I got no argument with you.
Hill Dweller
@Zifnab:
I hope you’re right, but it’s really hard not to become disillusioned right now.
MikeJ
@ppcli:
There’s a man on the right wing of the party!
Linda Featheringill
I have no idea how long same-sex marriage will last but I do have a question:
Isn’t life itself a temporary aberration?
LanceThruster
I love hearing from Newt “My patriotism made me cheat” Gingrich.
RossInDetroit
Over/under on how long before there’s a same-sex married national politician. Or is there now and I’m forgetting?
Amir Khalid
@ppcli:
Does Newt Gingrich have the political equivalent of anything like playing the Big Giant Head, let alone James Tiberius Kirk, in his resume? I think not.
JWL
If same-sex marriage is a “temporary aberration”, then why oppose it?
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Hill Dweller: You know, my parents aren’t entirely blameless for how I turned out, but for the most part I blame the party in charge of my life at the time I made certain decisions: me. Ultimately my parents get a lot of credit for how I turned out, and while I would change some things, it would be hard not to vote for them again, given the chance, assuming nothing else about my circumstances would change.
kdaug
Gah. 400 comment threads, Doc Tom’s Izzy ruminations, and plunging the depths of pedantry – this is how we spend a Friday evening?
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@agrippa: I think what he means is that aliens are about to come to earth, and then he and the wingers will start fighting over how marriage is a bond between two humans.
FlipYrWhig
If it’s just a temporary lull,
Why’m I bored right out of my skull?
Man, I’m dressin’ sharp and feelin’ dull.
(Replacements, “I’ll Be You.”)
huckster
@Steeplejack: Christ man! You just had to go there, oh well, least we won’t have Larry Parrish to kick around anymore,
Oh, and Newt is a douche
MikeJ
@kdaug:
The idiom is plumbing the depths.
/pedant
chopper
not to be pedantic, but the term ‘pedantic’ really comes from the old italian ‘pedante’, meaning ‘teacher’. none of us are actually teachers, so we shouldn’t use the term at all.
Anne Laurie
@Amir Khalid:
As an OG-Trekkie, I have to say: If you think of JTKirk as an histronic narcissist with an ongoing zipper problem whose self-entitled antics led a whole lot of unfortunate underlings into getting themselves killed, while holding the geeks and drones enthralled, then you’ve got a pretty good template for Newton Leroy Gingrich circa 1994. Contract
onwith America!No one of importance
@lamh34:
I’m sure that nabobs in the GOP are carefully calculating how many white voters they will lose if they have a black man as VP nominee as opposed to how many they will pick up from the black community. Considering the scorn being poured on Cain from black bloggers, I have no doubt the GOP will not come out the winners in that equation.
Anne Laurie
@chopper:
Tom Levenson’s a professor. We know that for a fact, and I believe some of the other front-pagers may be educational professionals IRL as well.
(But don’t look at me. Closest I ever came was assistant dog-obedience trainer, and never in a paid capacity.)
kdaug
@MikeJ: No, mate. I’m plunging. With a plunger. No boat, think toilet. Don’t care about the depths, just what floats to the top.
Matt McIrvin
Don’t count on it. There was a real economic recovery well under way by 1996. Obama is not going to be so fortunate; if anything we’ll be well into the double dip.
In the polls he’s way outperforming expectations based on the grievous economic situation. But to pull it out he’ll have to play Harry Truman and keep pinning it on the other guys. He obviously knows this, judging from his apparent pivot from trying to get legislation passed to making bold proposals that don’t have a prayer of passing. (I think he probably should have started doing it earlier.)
Chet
@burnspbesq: Hear, hear.
So much for the Rays being worn out after Wednesday night’s comeback against New York. Currently 8-0 in the 9th.
Just in case anyone is tempted to call these the “playoffs”, I’m going to be pedantic and remind everyone that this ain’t the NFL or NBA. The proper term is postseason.
Tonight can’t get here fast enough for this Detroiter. Go get ’em, Tigers.
Hill Dweller
@Matt McIrvin:
This is more along the lines of what I’m thinking, but I’m not sure it will work.
I still can’t believe Republicans are on the verge of taking over the government again.
Hill Dweller
Ugh. I screwed up another blocked quote.
Sly
Marriage was initially a contract between two people of the same gender: the father of the bride and the father of the groom (in some cultures, the mothers). One could make the argument that “same sex marriage” is the oldest social construction in human history, because its not like people who were directly involved in the marriage started out having any say in the matter. You just did what daddy (or mommy) said, and if your intended spouse smelled funny or had a drooling problem… well… sucks for you.
But that’s all irrelevant, since all Newt wants to do is foster a sense of orderliness and compliance among the masses by eliminating the rights of some, thereby creating a purely artificial unity among the remainder and calling that artifice “tradition”. Demagogues have been doing that since one of the first ones invented religion millennia ago.
SiubhanDuinne
@chopper:
/we are all pedants
Emma
@ppcli: Hey, more respect for Shatner. His career has been plenty more interesting and successful than Newt’s.
Steeplejack
@huckster:
Parrish doesn’t seem to have been very successful as hitting coach, but this still smacks of scapegoatery.
Not sure the problem was so much with the coaching as with the actual doing.
burnspbesq
@Chet:
Moore’s performance would have been impressive coming from a 10-year veteran. That was his second major league start.
Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen
Gingrich + Rusty Pitchfork + Fuck.
That is all.
Felinious Wench
It may be the +2, but this thread is hilarious to me.
I just keep replacing pedantic with words like pederast and pendant.
Southern Beale
Joe My God had the definitive headline related to this Newt topic:
“Thrice Married Serial Adulterer Finds Gay Marriage To Be As Temporary As His Ability To Not Fuck Women Who Aren’t His Wife”
Evolved Deep Southerner
Damn. Just damn. Eemom must be your biggest fan, Anne Laurie.
“But Michael Moore is fat!” or “Al Gore is fat!”
I guess that whole line of whatever depends on who’s pitching and who’s catching.
Southern Beale
I thought this was funny. Cute chart and everything. PoliiFact found that pundits (“which includes columnists, commentators and talk show hosts”) ranked higher in Mostly False and Pants On Fire rankings than others in their Truth-O-Meter rulings.
Southern Beale
I love how whenever SNL parodies the GOP debates the first thing they do is ask “Newt Gingrich” if he really wants to be there and he always says no and exits before any questions are even asked.
Southern Beale
So my niece and nephew had a baby last week. My niece’s water broke in the middle of the night and she didn’t want to wake her husband up so she thought she’d wait and well guess what she waited too long and they had the baby at home by accident.
I thought that was kinda funny.
Evolved Deep Southerner
@Southern Beale: That’s a good story, Southern Beale. Did they name the baby Newt?
Mike in NC
Can we please just cut to the chase and have Newt express his undying love for Rick Santorum? They are some manly men.
Quaker in a Basement
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: If fart jokes were good enough for Chaucer, why shouldn’t ol’ Will spin one too?
Nicole
All this pedanting about petards made me look it up and I found out the phrase most likely originated with Shakespeare, in Hamlet “to be hoist by one’s own petard.” So, I could see it being about the bomb (blowing oneself up by one’s own devices) but, seeing as how it’s Shakespeare, it’s just as possible it’s a fart joke.
Darkrose
@Steeplejack: After the Giants’ abysmal August, there were cries to dump Bam-Bam Meulens, the hitting coach. Several people, including former players, pointed out that the hitting coach can’t teach a player to hit. With the kids, maybe he can work with them to break bad habits or correct their stances, but most of the veterans have their stance that’s worked for them for years (I’m looking at you, Aaron “Squatman” Rowand), and they’re not interested in changing anything.
SFAW
I fart (or petard?) in the general direction of your pedantry, silly Balloon-Juice-commenting person.
Kathy in St. Louis
Nothing clever to add here. I just wonder why, if you are Newt, (awful thought), you would ever mention the institution of marriage in any context. Any other hot button top that resonates with the right, perhaps. Marriage, no. And I’d always heard he was such an intelligent guy.
DougW
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: FTW!