Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Republicans in disarray!

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / New For The Fall 2011 Season

New For The Fall 2011 Season

by | 165 Comments

This post is in: ,

Howdy.  Zandar here.  I understand foul-mouthed vitriol inside jokes introductions are in order, so let’s start this off.  You’re probably wondering who I am and why I’m here.  I’m not terribly sure about the latter (or why John Cole believes I should be here other than I’m “interesting”) but the former is easy enough.  Before we begin, however, let’s get something out of the way.

I have no pets.

Not even goldfish.  Not even a stolen road cone named “Murray the Obtuse.”  No pets have I.  I live in an apartment building in the Cincinnati suburbs of northern Kentucky which doesn’t allow pets, so I’m basically pretty good with that.  I like animals, I just don’t have any.  Kinda bachelory over here too.  You might have seen me at my blog (where I yell at Rand Paul a lot) or some of the other blogs I contribute to, so if you’re wondering “who the hell is this guy, anyway?” I’ve left a lot of digital evidence around as to how my mind works, such as it is.

I like the Atlanta Braves, the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and the Duke Blue Devils.  I’ve been known to make a number of pointless eighties movies references for no apparent reason, and to me the only Doctor Who is Tom Baker (Nothing against the new guys.  Love the new series.  New guys are not Tom Baker.)  I like my Kindle, I hate coffee, and I come from a long line of Long Island Catholic Democrats (which is funny because I was adopted when I was three days old.)  I was born in Nebraska, grew up in North Carolina as the oldest child of four, and now live in Kentucky.  I do IT work for a Fortune 100 company and I’m in my mid-30’s.

The last ten minutes of Meet The Robinsons makes me cry every damn time.  I refer to John Boehner as “Orange Julius”.  I do not like oatmeal, but I enjoy a pickle, pastrami, and pepperoni sandwich on rye with Tabasco sauce with the best of them.  I played tuba in high school and was pretty decent.

Mostly however, I am an unapologetic supporter of Barack Obama.  I don’t always agree with all of his policies, those of you who have read my stuff are aware of my vehement disagreement with his choice of Tim Geithner as Treasury Secretary and there are a number of things I feel he could have improved on a civil liberties perspective.  But given the alternative, I’ll vote for him again in 2012 without hesitation for a number of reasons, chief of which is the fact he really has been the most progressive President we’ve had in decades if not generations.  I believe the Republican Party is all but lost right now, that its leaders do not understand basic macroeconomics, and that have resigned themselves to misguided and dangerous efforts to disenfranchise the voting rights of millions of Americans because it’s the only way they can retain power, and I think that’s the largest issue we face as a country today.  I write because I feel that this needs to be addressed and both issues do not get enough attention, so I fling posts into the abyss out of the vain hope that I can make “a difference.”

That anyone listens to what I have to say is coincidental, I assure you.  Anyway, I am terribly grateful to be in the presence of writers I have a lot of respect for, as well as a community that dwarfs my own comfortable environs by about two orders of magnitude.  I’ve been called up from AAA to pitch in the rotation, as it were.  I will try not to implode the place.

Maybe I’ll get a hedgehog, too.  Who knows.

Reader Interactions

165Comments

  2. 2.

    Egilsson

    I like the Atlanta Braves, the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and the Duke Blue Devils.

    I’m worried about this one. The Duke Blue Devils?? Gaah.

    The Braves I can tolerate, except their fan base seems pretty lame.

    But given the alternative, I’ll vote for him again in 2012 without hesitation for a number of reasons, chief of which is the fact he really has been the most progressive President we’ve had in decades if not generations. I believe the Republican Party is all but lost right now, that its leaders do not understand basic macroeconomics, and that have resigned themselves to misguided and dangerous efforts to disenfranchise the voting rights of millions of Americans because it’s the only way they can retain power, and I think that’s the largest issue we face as a country today.

    Pretty much.

  7. 7.

    blackfrancis789

    welcome! I suggest getting a stuffed animal, treat it as a pet and post a photo of it now and again. Should work out fine. I’ve enjoyed your stuff over at your own place. John chose wisely.

  9. 9.

    Samara Morgan

    as long as you’re not a emoprog fake liberal troll or a glibertarian “freed” market fucktard like Coles last two pimps picks, we cool.

    I am an unapologetic supporter of Barack Obama.

    me too.

  10. 10.

    JPL

    But given the alternative, I’ll vote for him again in 2012 without hesitation for a number of reasons, chief of which is the fact he really has been the most progressive President we’ve had in decades if not generations.

    but, but he didn’t ………(fill in the blanks)
    Welcome aboard.

  11. 11.

    SFAW

    glibertarian “freed” market fucktard like Coles last two pimps picks

    No need to insult DougJ

  12. 12.

    RossInDetroit

    Welcome! Always good to have one more paddle stirring the shit.
    And yeah, no pets is a deal breaker. Companion animal worship is the order of the day. Fix that and get back to us on it. Needn’t be a pony or anything. Even just a praying mantis.

  13. 13.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Welcome, Zandar! If you’re a Braves fan you already have a pretty thick skin, so you should fit in just fine around these parts.

    I look forward to your posts.

  14. 14.

    Maura Cavaleri

    Welcome! I’ve linked off ABL on Twitter to read you and have definitely enjoyed your work. Cole made an excellent choice.

  15. 15.

    Phylllis

    Props for the Braves fan thing. College choices…well, nobody’s perfect. I say that with no irony as a Gamecock fan.

  16. 16.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @RossInDetroit:

    O/T tech question: I have a terrific photo of a mantis who was hanging out on my 17th-floor office window a couple of weeks ago. I took it with my iPad 2 camera, and I’m writing my BJ comments from the same device.

    I’d love to share the picture from my album but don’t know how to upload photos to BJ or how to provide a link. Do I need a Flickr account or similar, or is there some way to post it directly?

    TIA.

  17. 17.

    Guster

    So no pets, younger and better-employed than I am, and a preemptively-defensive supporter of Obama. Excellent.

  21. 21.

    jwest

    The one gaping hole in perspective at Balloon Juice has always been the views of a liberal 30-something IT person one step removed from his parent’s basement.

    I, for one, welcome this fresh new well of opinion.

  22. 22.

    Southern Beale

    BTW where does Zander ordinarily blog? Would like to read some of his previous work.

    I guess I could hit the Google but that would be too much like work.

  23. 23.

    danimal

    I am an unapologetic supporter of Barack Obama…I will try not to implode the place.

    After the first 400 comments on this thread, you may feel like it’s imploding, but we’re really only getting started.

    Welcome aboard, and I totally agree with you that restricting the franchise is the most important issue in the nation today.

  24. 24.

    xian

    yay! the stupid needs all the grief it can get.

    been a fan of your writing since the early mid late post warblogging craze.

    (a/k/a since Cole was a Republican)

  26. 26.

    Mudge

    Huskers-Badgers (alum) today. We’ll see how their call-up from AAA works out. Or are you a fan of Husker basketball and Duke football? That fits in better with being a Braves fan.

  29. 29.

    RossInDetroit

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    A couple of weeks ago Anne requested garden photos from the commentariat. I emailed her through the FP link and attached the bug photos. Your smartphone app should allow you to do that.

  31. 31.

    John S.

    Great, another Obot here to torment the Firebaggers true progressives.

    Eeeexcellent. (taps fingers together)

  33. 33.

    Shlemizel

    Mostly however, I am an unapologetic supporter of Barack Obama. I don’t always agree with all of his policies

    Please be aware here at BJ that comments supporting BHO will draw some number of “OBOT!!!” responses and disagreement will automatically be labeled as “FIREBAGGER!!!” by some percentage of our habitues. Other than that you are on your own – good luck kid.

  34. 34.

    kdaug

    The one gaping hole in perspective at Balloon Juice has always been the views of a liberal 30-something IT person one step removed from his parent’s basement.

    You, sir/madame, are an asshole.

    I said GOOD-DAY!

    (Also, too, really loud Bangles and strong iced coffee before dawn rocks.)

  36. 36.

    Mark B.

    And, while I really like Tom Baker*, Jon Pertwee wasn’t bad. Can’t wait for tonight’s episode.

    *And apparently, for Tom, the role was a mixed blessing. I’ve heard he was bitter later on because it limited his later opportunities. The last few doctors have been much smarter about the role, leaving the role before they became exclusively identified with it, either voluntarily or otherwise.

  37. 37.

    geg6

    Duke sucks.

    But you don’t, Z. Glad to have you on the front page. Have loved your stuff at ABL’s place.

  39. 39.

    Kathleen

    @Southern Beale:
    Southern Beale: http://zandarvts.blogspot.com/

    Welcome, Zandar. I enjoy your work. No problem with sports picks, except why Braves over Reds, but I have to question how can you stand living in NKY? Also, too, I was born in Nebraska and it’s very rare to encounter people born in Nebraska, probably more rare to find people who admit to being born in Nebraska.

  40. 40.

    kdaug

    Hold on, chief. It gets better.

    Or worse.

    Different, anyway… and Baz Luhrmann just told me you are not as fat as you think, so there’s that.

  43. 43.

    Svensker

    @Southern Beale:

    Well here are some pictures of my new boy with his new toy.

    Riley is too cute for words. That black and white mug… Eeeekk. Cuuuuuutttteeeee.

  47. 47.

    UncertaintyVicePrincipal

    I was just thinking the other day that the one thing this blog lacked was any sort of staunch Obama defender.

    If variety is the spice of life, this blog is a bland, flavorless stew.

    By the way I followed your links to “blogs I contribute to” and one of them had two posts condemning the assassination of a US citizen, in no uncertain terms. If you’re planning on posting much here I’d distance myself as fast as possible from that blog.

  48. 48.

    Mark B.

    @Joey Maloney: Ah. I’ve always wondered what people meant when they say ‘you complete me.’ Now I know, it’s all about filling in the blanks in the questionnaire.

  49. 49.

    themis

    Wow – I think I’ve just met my mirror opposite (except for the Obama thing)…

    Nebraska? – Oklahoma grad here
    Duke? – Carolina grad here (post-grad stuff)
    Kentucky? – wrong side of the Brent-Spence bridge
    No pets? – remind me why you’re here again?
    Hate coffee? – has John verified that you are, indeed, human?

    OK, I’ll give you the sandwich – that sounds yummy.

    Welcome to the crazy – I’m looking forward to reading your stuff before I laugh and vilify you from the safety of the internet:)

  51. 51.

    Raven (formerly stuckinred)

    What’s up bubba? Athens, GA, Dawgs, Illini and Hokies. Two pups that rule the roost and have been featured here. Welcome and let me know if anybody gives you any shit.

    ps. In Hermosa Beach this morning, funeral in San Diego and back to Georgia at o dark hundred tomorrow.

  54. 54.

    RossInDetroit

    One odd characteristic of this blog is the relative lack of effective trollage. Probably because the regulars are vigorously pounding the stuffing out of each other and attempts at intentional provocation get lost in the commotion.

  56. 56.

    Carolinus

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    If you just want to get your image up with as little hassle as possible: http://imgur.com/

    You don’t create an account, you just drag and drop your photo right onto that web page, click “Start Upload” and then click & copy the resulting URL from the “Direct Link” text box.

  57. 57.

    Baud

    @RossInDetroit: I like to think we are too intelligent to be effectively trolled.

    I also think the comment format may have something to do with it. Harder to sustain a pie war.

    Welcome, Zandar. Is it ok if I call you Zandar the Barbarian. Is it? Awesome, thanks.

    Just kidding. Welcome to the fray.

  58. 58.

    satby

    Welcome Zander. I clicked over to your place from here a few weeks ago and now am a regular reader. I’m liking John’s taste in co-bloggers.

  59. 59.

    Citizen_X

    @Mark B.:

    I thought Zandar was spelled Xandar.

    Me too. And what the fuck have you been doing since Buffy?

    …What? …Really?

    Ok, carry on, then.

  61. 61.

    jwest

    FBI profilers have found that males who live alone without pets are much more likely to be serial killers than those with more fulfilling lives.

    (how’s that, Ross?)

  66. 66.

    Nicole

    @gogol’s wife: Hartnell, not Hartnett.

    (pushes nerd glasses up nose)

    And Zandar, don’t get a hedgehog. Insectivores, which means a high-protein diet, which means their poop smells like evil. And they’re lousy for snuggles, unless you have a thing about getting stabbed by needles.

    … I’ve said too much…

  68. 68.

    aimai

    Zandar, so glad to see you over here. Your posts are always fantastic and fantastically thoughtful, open minded, and full of good humor even when you are discussing the most evil people on earth. I look forward to reading you here.

    aimai

  70. 70.

    Cat Lady

    I picture you wearing a turban and a puffy shirt, and doing some fortunetelling on the side. Welcome aboard, and I hope you’ve got your firebagger phasers set on stun.

  71. 71.

    ellenelle

    welcome, zandar, and welcome to your obama support, especially the reasoning thereof.

    noting the chart by mistermix, i’d say we need to be seriously generating some enthusiasm. i’m inspired by the words out of obama’s mouth, saying we shouldn’t compare him to the almighty, but to the alternative.

    amen to that.

  72. 72.

    Emma

    I can handle everything else, but coffee? That’s the dealbreaker, right there. People who hate coffee are not trustworthy. I shall be watching you carefully, mister.

  73. 73.

    Paul W.

    Excellent! Welcome back Zandar ( I think you had a temp spot before)!

    I’ve been a pretty prolific reader of your blog, and always enjoy not only the topics but your perspective. However, I had no idea you hated coffee so this might throw a monkey wrench in our relationship, for the time being though I’m looking forward to some posts on the Greek debt ridiculousness as I think BJ is lacking insight into those shenanigans.

  74. 74.

    Christoph

    Well, I’ve read some of your online musings before and generally approved,but this revelation that you live in Kentucky and support Duke is disturbing. Please tell me that you at least balance that with a decent loathing of Christian Laettner…

  75. 75.

    YAFB

    Congratulations on the new gig to one of the most prolific and hardest-working bloggers around!

    Great to see you here, ZandAr. (Cap. A to clarify spelling for the pixelly challenged. It’s Zandar, not Zander.)

  76. 76.

    jwest

    Emma’s right.

    We all agree that there’s a desperate need at Balloon Juice for talented writing, but with the number of prostitutes who have gone missing in the Cincinnati area lately, wouldn’t it be prudent to take a look in this “Zander’s” freezer before accepting him unconditionally?

  77. 77.

    Southern Beale

    @danimal:

    Try the blogroll on the right hand side of this here blog. Look in the Zs. Won’t be too hard to find.

    Oh.

    Well, people don’t always blog at places named after themselves. Like, if I’d looked under “K” for E.D. Kain I would have been SOL because he blogs at League Of Ordinary Gentlemen.

    So, not quite so stupid a question.

    {grumbles}

  78. 78.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @mikefromArlington:

    Just remember, John likes a new tag every new post!

    You’re a troublemaker, aren’t you? This is going in your permanent record.

  79. 79.

    Kristine

    Hello–welcome to the sandbox. We will regale you with pet pics until you a/r/e/a/b/s/o/r/b/e/d relent and get a snail or something. Something small and quiet.

  82. 82.

    RossInDetroit

    @Kristine:
    Hermit crabs are cool. So are small lizar… FUCK!!
    a COLOSSAL CENTIPEDE JUST RAN ACROSS MY DESK!!!

    ETA: Jebus Herbert Criminy. How big? I heard it before I saw it.

    Anyway. Lizards are good pets. We have turtles as well and they are very well behaved, though provide adequate ventilation. Oh, bachelor. Never mind about the smell.

  83. 83.

    gelfling545

    @kdaug: That also, too business is insidious. (I once knew a 3 year old who used it and everybody thought it was cute – back in the 70’s. She outgrew it.) I currently know a lawyer who was using it in the usual snarky way in general conversation until it popped out of his mouth while he was in court & the judge looked at him like he had a hedgehog on his head. He is now trying to remediate this usage. Like many habits, it’s harder to get rid of than acquire. It may be Palin’s single greatest contribution to ongoing American ignorance.

  84. 84.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Raven (formerly stuckinred):

    You’re in Hermosa? Is Bill’s Tacoburrito Headquarters still there? One of the must-taste Bust-a-gut SoCal stops. I hit Tommy’s Burgers on Rampart last time I was out, but didn’t get to the beach.

  85. 85.

    Svensker

    @RossInDetroit:

    a COLOSSAL CENTIPEDE JUST RAN ACROSS MY DESK

    Eeeek. The stuff of nightmares, out of the silent planet of dark screaming dreams.

    I hate scutagers.

  86. 86.

    Nicole

    @gogol’s wife: And I should have spent less time reading Doctor Who: A Celebration when I was in middle school. Because it would have been nice to have, oh, gone on a date.

  87. 87.

    donnah

    I’ve been a fan of Zandar Versus the Stupid for a long time. Welcome to the Loony Balloon, Zandar. I expect you’ll fit right in.

    Don’t worry about the pet and coffee issues. Nobody’s perfect.

  90. 90.

    RossInDetroit

    @Svensker:

    Seems to be a plague of them lately. We had a flood in the basement and there must have been an area that stayed damp enough to support multilegged life. I don’t generally mind bugs if they’re harmless, but a 3-incher sprinting across my keyboard gets my attention. I took a shot at it but it got away. Out there somewhere plotting my doom, no doubt.

  92. 92.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Welcome! I hope you are ready for the ‘welcome wagon’ of PUMA, emobagger, firebagger, ratfucker, troll, winger, racist and manic progressive outrage that this line:

    “Mostly however, I am an unapologetic supporter of Barack Obama.”

    is going to bring down on you…lol! Nothing like painting a big bullseye on your back on day one. ;)

  93. 93.

    grandpajohn

    @Phylllis:

    well, nobody’s perfect. I say that with no irony as a Gamecock fan.

    Well as a Clemson Grad, You have my sympathy as I set and wait to see of we are going to implode or this year is different/.

  94. 94.

    Halcyan

    Ha, a snail. Or a preying mantis. Or is it praying mantis? Grasshopper looking thing. Atheist or no.

    I say name the spider you see from time to time in the bathroom and call it good.

    Oh, and post a pic now and again.

    Also, too.

  96. 96.

    themis

    @RossInDetroit:

    a COLOSSAL CENTIPEDE JUST RAN ACROSS MY DESK

    Yikes! When I moved to Ohio, I believed with all my dark little heart that silverfish were these innocuous little critters that quietly ate my sweaters. Then I learned the truth… they are the evil spawn of absinth-fueled Cthulhu-esque nightmares.

    But they might make nice pets…

  98. 98.

    dww44

    Thanks, Zandar, for the great introduction of yourself. I will now know what to expect from your posts. Just wanted to comment about your remarks at the end about your support of Obama and where the Republicans are, politically, these days.

    Yesterday, my brother-in-law, retired Army guy and inveterate world traveler, said this in responding to a piece of Charlie Pierce’s that was referenced here and to which I linked him. BTW, he’s not an avowed liberal or progressive but does support Obama and his anti-terrorist policies:

    Not only is the Republican Establishment in disarray, our country is entering a difficult and dangerous era of fractured goals and direction. The TEA party freaks, when the national direction doesn’t go their way, could easily become the anarchists marching in the streets and burning public buildings. They are already too much empowered by their ability to stymie the legitimate operations of our legislative bodies.

  99. 99.

    Davis X. Machina

    @Amir Khalid: To the untrained eye, Bahasa Malaysia looks like the names of a bunch of not-quite familiar corporations and dishes, strung together into sentences:

    “I’m going to the Selamat to pick up a cable for my Datang. Do you want anything while I’m out?” “Yes. Get some of that Berita terkini. We’ll have it over rice…”

  100. 100.

    RossInDetroit

    I propose the following as this week’s unofficial official BJ sandwich:
    All beef Bologna and peppers on white bread with kettle cooked chips on the side.

  102. 102.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    Howdy neighbor! Welcome to the front page. It’ll be fun, really.

  103. 103.

    kdaug

    @Kristine:

    We will regale you with pet pics until you a/r/e/a/b/s/o/r/b/e/d relent and get a snail or something. Something small and quiet.

    Quite sure* he’s got fleas or bedbugs or some other parasite flitting about – not a “pet” per se, but adoptable with the right mindset.

    (* Based entirely on the well-documented proclivity of bugs toward things and/or people whose names start with “Z”. Harkens back to their mother’s wings rubbing on the carapace, or something.)

  104. 104.

    Comrade Mary

    Welcome, Zandar. I have no problems with the coffee-hating, because I don’t drink it myself, but I shall be watching for your opinions on tea very, very carefully.

  105. 105.

    handsmile

    Great to have you back on the front page! Now that Mr. Cole has picked up the option for a new season I hope you’ll enjoy a long run before the Nielsen ratings plummet (“adored by critics, ignored by viewers”).

    From the pleasure and insight I’ve gained from reading “Zandar Vs. the Stupid” for the past year, your wit and sensibility will be most welcome among this larger forum.

    Also, of no small importance, non-pet-owners are a distinctly underrepresented minority around here. Should you find yourself inclined to adding a snail to the household, as was suggested above, let me recommend Marcel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF9-sEbqDvU

    No mention was made of your aptitude for gardening or cooking (which I assumed were part of the job requirements at BJ, Inc.), but as I infer your bachelorhood, those pursuits usually emerge with age or partnership.

    Hope your character profile presents some degree of masochism; it will make the inevitable abuse easier to bear. Cheers!

  108. 108.

    Amir Khalid

    @Davis X. Machina:
    Iya ke? Since it’s my bahasa ibunda, I don’t really get that impression myself. But having been a newspaper guy, I did actually know people who had berita terkini with rice for lunch …

  109. 109.

    ReReZ

    Not quite sure that an “unapologetic supporter” should then qualify that support with “given the alternative”. But welcome – just make the clauses unabashedly support each other.

  110. 110.

    Ben Cisco

    Welcome aboard from a fellow IT worker (but Duke though – blech).
    __
    Have read your blog for a while and looking forward to seeing your work here.

  115. 115.

    donquijoterocket

    Welcome. Similar history except raised in Nebraska after being born in another state west of there and my circuitous route to the present took me through southeast Asia at an interesting time. Tend to refer to the Huskers by one of their earlier self-chosen nicknames. To me they are, and always will be, the Bugeaters.I’ll have to try that sandwich although it doesn’t quite fit my usual preferences I’m not a picky eater and figure anybody who is has never really been hungry.

  119. 119.

    phillygirl

    Welcome, Zandar. But maybe you should move so you can get a few pets. You will need some unconditional love.

  121. 121.

    Kola Noscopy

    I’ll throw in with those above who sagely noted your addition to the roster clearly was made necessary by the bleeding lack of Obot perspective on the front page.

    BTW, as a carry over from ABL’s dive, how did you make it thru your first post without calling anyone a racist?

    So Cole has elected to go full out echo chamber, eh?

    Predictable but interesting…

  122. 122.

    Felinious Wench

    Welcome, Zander, from an honorary member of the Dungeons and Dragons, basement-dwelling, pro-Obama crowd, geek club.

    JWest, your application has been denied.

  123. 123.

    Anonymous At Work

    I like Pellini and Taylor Martinez as much as anyone but frankly, if U of Washington can gash them for 38 points, then they are beatable. Wisconsin is playing powderpuffs, so it’s hard to gauge if they are beatable. So far, only Alabama has looked “unbeatable”.

  124. 124.

    kideni

    Welcome, Zandar!

    Tom Baker was my first Doctor, so he has a special place in my heart. I’m also partial to Patrick Troughton, but that’s partly because the Zoe and Jamie episodes were usually pretty fun.

    I lived in Lincoln for about four years, and Husker game days were always a fun trip. Here in Madison the Badger fans make a really good show, but it’s somehow not quite the same intensity. Maybe it’s because there are actually other sports to follow in the state, so people can spread their fanaticism around. And today we have the Huskers in town for their first Big Ten game, and it’s kind of madness.

  125. 125.

    cckids

    @Kathleen: Another native Nebraskan, now here in Vegas. We aren’t as rare as all that, tho many of us keep it quiet to avoid being the person flying the Go Big Red flag every game day. I mean, I like football too, but really. And gotta quote South Park “Welcome to Nebraska. We’re sorry”.

    Edited to add: Welcome, Zander. Have fun.

  126. 126.

    Yutsano

    I played tuba in high school and was pretty decent.

    I’m sold. Though I stuck with it in college. Cause that turned out a thousand times more fun.

  128. 128.

    ABL

    @Kola Noscopy: tell me true, do you have dreams about me? do you wake up every morning thinking “ah- ha! i know what i’ll do today! i’ll make some silly crack about ABL being racist, or thinking everyone else is racist!” and then do you masturbate vigorously at the idea that boy howdy, i really told her?

    because your obsession with me is beyond flattery, and is downright creepy.

    welcome zandar. i’m sorry your association with me will cause some of the more deranged juicers to judge you before even giving you a chance.

    i have only myself to blame.

    :)

  131. 131.

    Yutsano

    @ABL:

    i’ll make some silly crack about ABL being racist, or thinking everyone else is racist!” and then do you masturbate vigorously at the idea that boy howdy, i really told her?

    Brain bleach. Now.

  132. 132.

    Martin

    Not even a stolen road cone named “Murray the Obtuse.

    Our stolen road cone is named Bob Bollard. The girl makes clothes for it now and then with cut-off pant legs.

    It’s not really stolen, in that there was no active effort to steal it. They repaved our street and one of the workers moved it behind a tree and forgot to pick it up. We called the city and they said it wasn’t theirs, it was the contractors, and if they want it they’ll come back for it. A week later it was still there and we named it Bob and give it a good home.

    Welcome.

    I do IT work for a Fortune 100 company and I’m in my mid-30’s.

    One critical question I don’t think has been asked though: Mac or PC? It’s important.

  137. 137.

    Amir Khalid

    @Yutsano:
    I’ve always wondered why this particular commenter — Kola Noscopy, Trollenschlongen, etc. — is so keen on starting arguments, on getting people’s goat. It’s a curious way to amuse oneself. Why, one would think he had the social development of a particularly annoying three-year-old.

  138. 138.

    Dee Loralei

    Yay Zandar! Yay another Obot! And even yay no coffee! Nebraska? Dude, Boomer Sooner!!

    Welcome. And you’re a hoot on the twitter machine.

  139. 139.

    HumboldtBlue

    Zandar rules the universe! But, the Braves suck, Duke sucks even more and you may as well jump on the Phightin’s bandwagon.

  140. 140.

    c u n d gulag

    Jeez, this place must really be going downhill to invite Zandar!

    Just kidding Zandar! You know I love ya! I’m glad to see that your talents are getting appreciated by a broader audience.

    That was not a fat joke, folks!

  141. 141.

    licensed to kill time

    Welcome to the Juice of Balloon, O Zandar.

    For a pet, I recommend fire-bellied toads. Very colorful, full of polka-dots, and fingertips that look like they have been dipped in scarlet nail polish. The only downside is that you have to catch lots of flies and crickets for them. That gets kinda old pretty quick, unless you like that sort of pastime.

    Ignore the trolls, they’re not nearly as much fun as fire-bellied toads.

  144. 144.

    Yutsano

    @ABL: Wait, you didn’t know? Srsly? It was obvious from the first comment to me. Special Timmeh has a very poor record of hiding himself.

  145. 145.

    Ecks

    Your hatred of coffee nearly redeems your across-the-board ATROCIOUS collection of sports teams (why don’t you just add Chelsea in there for a quadfecta of awfulness).

    So, I guess what I’m saying here is: welcome :)

  148. 148.

    Josie

    Welcome to BJ, Zandar. I can forgive you the no pets issue since you are young and you support Obama. I’m not so sure about the Duke thing…….

  149. 149.

    Citizen_X

    I think we have general agreement, then: if there’s anything hateable to focus in on, it’s the Duke thing. So fuck you, Zander!

    That said, allow me to offer you this laurel, and hearty handshake, to you, our new…

    …blogger.

  150. 150.

    vheidi

    Mostly however, I am an unapologetic supporter of Barack Obama. I don’t always agree with all of his policies, those of you who have read my stuff are aware of my vehement disagreement with his choice of Tim Geithner as Treasury Secretary and there are a number of things I feel he could have improved on a civil liberties perspective. But given the alternative, I’ll vote for him again in 2012 without hesitation for a number of reasons, chief of which is the fact he really has been the most progressive President we’ve had in decades if not generations.

    Which is why I threw him some cash yesterday.
    Welcome, Zandar

  151. 151.

    Kola Noscopy

    @ABL:

    tell me true, do you have dreams about me? do you wake up every morning thinking “ah- ha! i know what i’ll do today! i’ll make some silly crack about ABL being racist, or thinking everyone else is racist!” and then do you masturbate vigorously at the idea that boy howdy, i really told her?

    Don’t flatter yourself, dweeb.

    I think of you only when wiping.

  152. 152.

    General Stuck

    Welcome Zandar. I like your writing, here and at ABL’s place.

    But Duke? Why does it have to be Duke? or all the colleges out there. There’s always a fly in the ointment of life. :-)

  158. 158.

    redheadedfemme

    Zandar: Welcome. I’m a devoted follower of your home blog, and I appreciate Cole asking you on board here.

    Make sure you download MikeJ’s pie filter. This will allow you to filter out some of our more egregious shitstirrers, such as Koala Nose Poo (who, I notice, has already made his/her requisite nonsense-spewing appearance), Cornered Skunk, and Not Ready for Intelligent Discourse. My threads are much more peaceful since I started using it, let me tell you.

  159. 159.

    Darkrose

    Hi Zandar.

    Not having pets is just weird, but okay.

    Being a Braves fan, however…we may have to have words. Whenever the Giants play the Braves in Atlanta, I have to be careful, because the fucking “chop” bullshit makes me want to punch something.

    Could be worse, I guess. You could be a Phillies fan.

    Welcome to the nuthouse!

  160. 160.

    Dolbia

    Hedgehogs are adorable!

    Poor Boris is no longer with us, but young Tulip enjoys balling up, bathing, running on her wheel, and pooping 3 times her own body weight each day.

  161. 161.

    suzanne

    Fuck. Another sports fan.

    I for one eagerly await the day that sports fandom is socially regarded much the same way as punching kittens.

    No pets, either? You’re killin’ me, Smalls.

    Can you at least snark on FourLoko_chan for my amusement?

    And with that, welcome.

  162. 162.

    Jim Pharo

    Use fewer words. Many fewer words. And hardly ever “I:” we know it’s you and what you think.

    Welcome.

  164. 164.

    MarkJ

    Welcome aboard. I like to call John Boehner the Dorito Asshat, because he’s the color of a Dorito and I trust Roseanne Cash to know an asshat when she sees one.

  165. 165.

    Surly Duff

    I like the Atlanta Braves, the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and the Duke Blue Devils.

    The Cornhuskers? Well, two out of three ain’t bad. We are going to get along very well during this basketball season. GTHC.

Comments are closed.