I don’t like to think of myself as a full-on Apple fanboi, but I like my Apple products a lot and I have a lot of respect for what Steve accomplished, with the Apple II, with the first Mac, with Next, and with what he’s done at Apple the last 15 years. Maybe the dread that I feel about pundits’ forthcoming eulogies of Steve Jobs proves that I really am a fanboi, though.
I’m aware that this just shows what a dark and depraved person I have become, but earlier this afternoon, I spent some time wondering about this: suppose I was given the choice of becoming an amazingly successful billionaire businessman visionary, and in return I had to accept the fact that when I died, David Brooks and Tom Friedman and the rest would (somehow) use my example to demonstrate the correctness of their own idiotic ideas about how the world is flat, how we all need to become Walmart-style wage slaves, how reason is pointless in the face of the power of primal scents, and so on. What would I do? I honestly think I would rather die obscure and penniless.
The Republic of Stupidity
Well… daaaaaaaaaaaaayum…
You and I have more in common than i would have ever thought…
Kane
Careful what you wish for.
Hunter Gathers
I’d find a way to take them with me. Preferably in a large explosion. Like anybody would really miss Bobo and the Moustache.
Cat Lady
Hope everyone shorted Apple.
Dougerhead
@Cat Lady:
I think the phones truly are better than the competition. All my hard-core tech friends — who want to hate iPhones — are starting to say this. Mistermix was Apple-hater number one and even he’s come around.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Better choice: Become an amazingly successful billionaire visionary, seduce the pundits, buy up their contracts, put them to work for you, then lay them off.
Extra points if you can destroy their reputations because of what they ask you to write so that no one ever wants to hire them again.
Failing that, I’m going for billionaire. Look at the press Warren Buffet is getting that your average obscure and penniless schmo isn’t getting.
handy
@Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:
Because the world could use a few more Murdochs.
joel hanes
he once said
“I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates”
MikeJ
I’d go for obscure and billionaire. What’s the old line? If you think you want to be rich and famous, try just rich first and see if that doesn’t take care of 90% of what you wanted.
Cat Lady
@Dougerhead:
I inherited my iPhone from kool-aid drunk techie husband who is on his third iPhone. It’s pretty cool, but I still think the iPad is a solution looking for a problem. Lion is not better than Snow Leopard. We also inherited some top of the line audiophile 80s stereo equipment recently, and realized that mp3 files from the iTunes library on the Mac sound like muddy shit, and listening to CDs through this old equipment is the way to go if you really like music. Which we do. So, I agree with you and mistermix, it’s about the phones, IMHO.
Short Bus Bully
… you realized that you spent your life making toys for the wealthiest folks in the world to play with?
“ROSEBUD”
neill
if it wasn’t for steve jobs this luddite wouldn’t stare at a screen 12 hours a day. and woulda been dead penniless,too, probably…
John Weiss
@Cat Lady: That’s interesting. I don’t think that a short on Apple is a good bet. Maybe in a year or two, unless you’re a day trader. They have a full pipeline I would guess and many die-hard fans.
joel hanes
Most mp3s sound like crap when played through good sound equipment, regardless of where you got them or what kind of digital hardware is playing the mp3 — mp3 is a “lossy” compression format, in which the person encoding the music trades off between fidelity and the size of the compressed file. Yes, the mp3s sold by the iTunes store sound much worse than CDs, but that’s what the consumers wanted.
If you use your Mac to play FLAC-encoded or Ogg-encoded files, they’ll sound just fine. Even mp3 can sound pretty good if you dial the compression back almost all the way.
Villago Delenda Est
@MikeJ:
Agreed. The famous part is simply not worth the hassle. Would YOU like to be subject to media twits tracking your every fucking move? Not I.
Bill E Pilgrim
If you lived your life trying to avoid ever being anything that Tom Friedman could misappropriate and bake into a mangled metaphor for some half-cocked and utterly backwards point he thinks he’s making, you’d just huddle in a corner shivering your entire life.
I mean the things that guy can get wrong are just too many, you’d have to hold your breath to avoid the air itself.
As much as I celebrate the President’s new-found aggressiveness towards the right, I lurve Friedman and Brooks’ hazing such a sad about it almost more. If you’ve got David Brooks criticizing you, finally, that’s a sign you’re on the right track.
barath
What I was glad to see is that the New York Times didn’t whitewash the fact that he really was part of the counterculture of his era and still had that in his thinking even while building a massive company: that he went on a religious pilgrimage, talked about how hallucinogens were one of the most important experiences of his life, was influenced by the Whole Earth Catalog, was Buddhist, etc. I’m sure there will be plenty of pundits / articles that skip that, but the Times at least told the whole story.
John Weiss
Jobs. What a guy. I’d say he was like Edison, Tesla and Ford. A brilliant innovater, certainly a genius at marketing. Sorry to see ’em go so soon, I don’t think that he was done.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
fuck that doug, i am calling bullshit.
wouldn’t it be, the ultimate in trolling david brooks to pre-write a response to the eulogy in 400 words that he would feel obligated to put together like mixed greens at the applebee’s salad bar, so he can guiltlessly load up on prole butterscotch pudding?
i think pretrolling david brooks etc from the post mortal would be worth suffering the slings and arrows of wealth and influence.
JenJen
As would I.
John Weiss
@JenJen: I would too, I suppose. Seeing as how I’m an old guy and though not penniless, close enough, and have no choice in the matter.
Mike S
When you read and hear all of these people on the right talk about how he is a great example of American ingenuity and what happens when government gets out of the way, remind them that with the government Apple wouldn’t be what Apple is. Without the intertubes does anybody really believe that the vast majority of what they created would ever have been created?
Cacti
“what is wrong with our schools in this nation is that they have become unionized in the worst possible way. This unionization and lifetime employment of K-12 teachers is off-the-charts crazy.”
Steve Jobs
February 16, 2007
Truly a god among men.
suzanne
Word. I can’t stand dumb people in large quantities, and famous people have to deal with a lot of that.
eemom
So let’s see — the measure of a man’s worth as a human being is inversely proportional to how the emmessemm fucktards choose to eulogize him?
If they happen to seize upon him as their bright shiny object du jour on the day after his death — only to promptly forget him, of course, on the next — that, to you, renders every achievement of his lifetime worthless?
Do you have ANY idea how fucked up it is, that they are that important to you?
Brachiator
On the other hand, I doubt that Jobs gave a rat’s ass about what Brooks or Friedman thought about him, or about how they might view his legacy. Which is exactly how it should be.
Spaghetti Lee
I’m aware that this just shows what a dark and depraved person I have become
I do sometimes worry about you. Like, one of these days you’re going to have a basement full of David Brooks photos with all the eyes cut out smeared with cat blood, if you’re not already there. But then I think about my entirely-too-visceral murder fantasies regarding Ayn Rand and Rush Limbaugh and I figure, well, everybody needs a sort of mental punching bag.
Spaghetti Lee
Let’s make a drinking game for Brooks’ column about Steve Jobs.
“Bold”, “Visionary”, “Ambitious” = 1 shot.
Talking about how those anti-corporate OWS protesters are hypocrites because they love Apple stuff. = 2 shots.
“Was willing to make tough decisions about making his company efficient”, etc. = 2 shots.
Using the “think different” slogan to talk about how post-partisan and centrist Jobs was, and wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could do that = 3 shots.
Wondering what Jobs would tell Obama to do about the economy if he was still alive = all the liquor in your house.
eemom
@suzanne:
heh. Spoken with the promptitude of one who has considered and rejected NUMEROUS offers of fame.
This is the thing, suzie Q — we get it that YOU are madly in love with yourself. Stop trying to drag us into it.
West of the Cascades
Ah, but how about a scenario in which you become a fabulously wealthy inventor and programmer, and send David Brooks and Tom Friedman and Ann Althouse and Michele Malkin brand new customized iPads as your life is growing short. And when each of the recipients clicks on the story saying “Steve Jobs Dies,” a small but powerful device in their customized iPad blows their heads off? Or just emits a cloud of noxious (but not deadly) black smoke and leaves a burn mark on the screen saying “Anonymous” They’ll never turn on an electronic device again without wearing Depends.
Calouste
Ever read anything about the labor conditions at the plants that make the iPads in China? Not convinced that Jobs would disagree with Brooks and Friedman there. He was a visionary, but he wasn’t a saint.
burnspbesq
I blame Friedman’s (formerly) absurdly rich in-laws. They were supposed to create some sort of well-paid, do-little sinecure for Tommy boy, writing press releases for events at their far-flung shopping center empire. But nooooo …
burnspbesq
@Spaghetti Lee:
Dude, if you’re going to have murder fantasies, at least fantasize about killings that will make millions of lives better. Start with John Roberts and Edmund Stoiber, and move on to Robinson Cano.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Cacti:
I’ve read more than a few quotes of his tonight, all said in fond memory of him.
I wonder how fond his supporters will be of that quote…lol!
Thymezone
If you think that the the choice you have in life is to either be a billionaire businessman, or a WalMart wage slave, then Brooks and Friedman are what you deserve, owing to your complete lack of imagination and vision.
Since I know you to be a lot smarter than that, I recommend that you shitcan this false choice, this is not your best work.
eemom
@Thymezone:
this has been, all in all, one of the shittiest evening’s works I’ve ever seen on this blog.
And so I will leave it to you Pacific time zoners to carry us forth into a brighter day. Nighty night.
NobodySpecial
Proving once again the old adage that thought experiments are wasted on the thoughtless.
piratedan
hell, I can even remember when phones were used for calling people and talking to them……
Thymezone
@eemom:
Bad times produce bad blogging, as they say.
Or, should say.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@eemom: Occasions like this provide assholes with an extra opportunity to demonstrate what they are.
blackfrancis
iMourn.
licensed to kill time
I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what The Moustache or Bobo would say about me after I died because I would be DEAD.
So, I guess I’d go with the amazingly successful billionaire businessman visionary thing and see how that went.
burnspbesq
@blackfrancis:
“iMourn.”
uWin. Simple and utterly appropriate. Well put.
Ming
Whether fame and wealth is worth becoming fodder for Bobo or not, living a life in which you were utterly absorbed and inspired by what you were doing is.
Rhoda
The hypocrisy and mendacity of this post astounds.
Steve Jobs had dinner with President Obama along with a myriad of other tech-wonders last Thursday. The life he lived, the choices he made, and the genius he had are self-evident. He doesn’t have to worry about the bullshit that is being spewed because he spent his life with a manic focus on creating his reality and bringing it forth. I can not imagine the level of satisfaction he has achieved; hell I dance when my cakes turn out. I would orgasm hourly having created the iPhone. And if I go, and some bullshit artist wanted to use my death to bludgeon his or her political opponents it wouldn’t matter to me.
The truth and purity of the life I led would live on; just as Jobs lives on in his company’s success and the amazing change he brought to daily life for billions.
I don’t know the man. He may have been a shit person. But he did amazing things that worked out for the good overall. Not a bad legacy; he made life better for me anyway.
So, RIP Mr. Jobs.
MariedeGournay
You’re a writer apparently. Preemptive strike.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
Can anyone to name another CEO who we would treat like this if he were to die right now? I was not fond of Apple’s need to control everything – once a product is sold, I should be able to do with it whatever I want – but I did like the fact that not only did the company feel the need to push the envelop, but they were also required to maintain quality.
Mary
@Dougerhead: Sigh. I miss my Palm Pre. My iphone is great and all, and I certainly appreciate that there are a bajillion more relevant apps available for it, but the functionality of the Pre was pretty great.
JGabriel
DougJ:
I strongly suspect that this is exactly what happened to me in a previous life. It would explain so much of my current circumstances.
.
WereBear
While the right rhapsodizes over Steve Jobs; it’s worth remembering that they are creating monolithic monopolies that would make his efforts worthless.
These days, he’d have never gotten out of the garage.
Butch
@Calouste: I was hoping I wasn’t the only one who thought about the working conditions.
Lee
Jobs was a asshole. He had a kid with Chrisann Brennan who had to go on welfare while Jobs denied paternity (he eventually accepted responsibility).
RSA
@WereBear:
Except for some tech libertarians unhappy with the closed systems Apple has tended to rely on.
It’s funny to discover that one is living someone else’s thought experiment. :-)
mike
Even being penniless and obscure won’t protect your reputation from these clods if you wind up being a cab driver from a middle eastern country or a waitress at Applebees.
ImJohnGalt
As I sit in my hotel room at the Rambagh Palace in Jaipur, India, I am taken by the fact the first 150 posts on my Facebook Feed are mostly all quoting the same quote from Jobs’ commencement speech in 2005, and even the Indian newscasts are wall-to-wall Jobs. he clearly had a worldwide impact on people.
While I admire the man, I find the hagiography to be a little unsettling. He’s a guy who very quickly abandoned the hacker ethic that Woz and he embodied, building a closed ecosystem that attempted to thwart those would try to “openify” it at every turn.
Great businessman, absolutely. But the Messiah I perceive others to believe him to be, not at all. So far as I know, he wasn’t much of a philanthropist either, unless all of his giving was under-the- radar, in which case i’ll happily eat my words.
I feel sad for his family, and his employees, and those who loved him. I feel like I’m missing something by not being part of this mass bereavement. Much like I (didn’t) feel when Diana died.
RIP, Mr. Jobs.
ImJohnGalt
(I was going to try to spin the whole Moustache of Understanding thng more, but couldn’t sustain it.) that said, I really am in India, and after 6 days here, am even more perplexed by Freidman’s drivel than ever. It’s certainly a country of contradictions.
Sentient Puddle
@Bill E Pilgrim:
This. Pundits are going to do their punditing no matter what you do with your life. It’s is a ridiculous false dichotomy.
Judas Escargot
To loosely paraphrase Tom Lehrer: When Steve Jobs was my age, he was just starting his second stint as Apple CEO, about to rescue a company that the techno-hipsters of the day had glibly written off as “doomed” several years before. He had already helped to ‘mainstream’ computer animation via Pixar. He was three years away from transforming the music industry. He was 9 years away from transforming the mobile phone industry. He was 11 years away from finally producing a viable tablet (which had been tried many times before).
I won’t get into philosophical debates about whether or not all these toys we surround ourselves with have any real, lasting human value… the man had a pretty damned good run. Not bad for an orphaned hippie from San Francisco.
I don’t normally respond directly to FPers, but you can’t possibly really mean this. Fuck Tom Friedman. Fuck Bobo. They’re a waste of breath and skin, unfit to judge anyone: And they will matter even less after they die.
I find myself thinking along different lines: If I knew with certainly that I had only 13 years left to live… what would I do? How would I behave?
Jobs was one of those men who “left something behind”. We should all be so lucky.
eemom
@licensed to kill time: @Rhoda:
win and win.
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
and, WORD.
eemom
@Rhoda:
awesome. Yours is really an excellent post, madame.
And I suspect Steve Jobs would have laughed his ass off at Doug’s, um, dilemma.
Which is why he was Steve Jobs, and Doug is a FPer on a dumbass blog.
Mnemosyne
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
Hm. Maybe Warren Buffett, but he’s pissed the right wing off recently. Bill Gates? But even then I think people would put a lot of focus on his charity foundations and less on Windows.
I do think that Jobs was sui generis in many ways. Some obits have been comparing him to Walt Disney and that seems like the most apt comparison I’ve seen so far: a guy who was able to channel the creativity of others into his own vision.