Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I really should read my own blog.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

You cannot shame the shameless.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Everybody saw this coming.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Infrastructure week. at last.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

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149Comments

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    @Dougerhead: Sorry, I used up all my double entendre jokes yesterday with the USC Gamecocks playing.
    May take me a couple minutes to be ready again.

  7. 7.

    RossInDetroit

    It’s 78 and sunny outside. Gonna go out and play. I’ll watch the highlight reels after dark.

  11. 11.

    Svensker

    I’m just praying for Sanchee not to get killed today. If Brady does get killed I’ll be even happier.

  12. 12.

    Spiffy McBang

    “Being in a Tampa 2” should mean spending football Sunday under the effects of at least two alcoholic beverages at all times.

    Unless that is what it means and I’m miles behind.

  13. 13.

    The Dangerman

    I’m thinking getting blitzed is a better call than T2, but it’s too early on the West Coast.

  14. 14.

    RareSanity

    Dougerhead,

    We respect our opponent. We’re just gonna go out there, give maximum effort, take it one play at time, execute and stick to the gameplan. There are a few favorable matchups that we’d like to exploit and our guys are ready.

    This will have to be a team effort and everyone needs to be hitting on all cylinders, including the coaching staff. We need to start fast, end strong and win the turnover battle.

    …

    I could on like this forever, I love coachspeak, especially when Herm Edwards is doing the talking. In the end, I like what my high school football coach used to say to the local paper before our “big” games…

    Reporter: “Coach, you guys are undefeated with a tough game on Friday. What are your thoughts on the game?”

    My Coach: “We’ll be on time.”

    Best. Coach. Response. Ever.

  15. 15.

    S. cerevisiae

    Peterson and the defense may save McNabb’s job for another week but the writing is on the wall. Start Ponder now!

    Now a forced fumble by Allen – Skol Vikes!

    ETA: now 21-0, can they hold? Can they win without a QB?

  17. 17.

    Keith

    Looks like Cam Newton is on pace (or close to it) for another 400 yd game. That’s just ridiculous for a rookie – especially one known more as a runner.

  22. 22.

    RareSanity

    @Keith:

    I’ll admit that even I didn’t see him having this big of an impact. But, any of the “experts” that thought Cam Newton wasn’t going to be successful, has/had ulterior motives.

    He was obviously more fundamentally sound than the guy they kept trying to compare him to, Saint Timothy of Tebow. The guy has won championships on just about every team he’s been on (not in high school, but he singlehandedly got the to the playoffs every year).

  26. 26.

    RareSanity

    @Dougerhead:

    Good questions Douger.

    Setting a physical tone from the first snap has got to be a top priority. It all begins upfront in the trenches. We have to establish the running game and get the defense on their heels. You let those guys pin their ears back and get after it, it’s gonna be a long day.

    On defense, we think we’ve got a pretty good scheme for this week. It starts with pressure upfront to disrupt the timing of the offense.

  29. 29.

    Keith

    @RareSanity: Yeah, I figured they were just blowing smoke because he wasn’t a “pro-set” QB in college, but some players just have “it” (I watched most of his Auburn games, so I knew he had the goods). But doing this in his rookie year (not to mention there is the stigma of being a Heisman QB – who usually suck in the pros) is amazing.

  30. 30.

    trollhattan

    @Yutsano:

    There’s been some yapping that running the no-huddle in the first half might be a way to coax them out of their typical torpor, so perhaps that’s a thing. Didn’t they have four rushing yards in the first half last week?

  33. 33.

    Corner Stone

    TV’s New #1 Show:
    “2 Broke Girls”

    I do not want to live in a country where this could possibly be true.

  35. 35.

    RareSanity

    If your team isn’t playing, so you don’t necessarily want to watch an entire game, the NFL RedZone channel is one of the most awesome developments in the history of television.

    They flip through all the games for you and no commercials!

    What an age we live in…

  36. 36.

    trollhattan

    Woot–Manning intercepted. Sure wish I weren’t “watching” this on NFL Game Center.

  37. 37.

    Chris from Arlington, VA

    The Steelers look like the Steelers today. Isaac Redman is running like a bulldozer, this is great.

  39. 39.

    Comrade Luke

    As predicted, the Free Market Fairies are using Steve Jobs’ (where do I put the punctuation there?) to push their fantasies. This one is from The Economist.

    And, as usual, it’s quickly debunked. This time by James Kwak.

    They’re so transparent it would be funny if it didn’t cause so many problems.

  40. 40.

    2liberal

    Pittsburgh kicking butt, my Cardinals making the sad-sack Vikes look good. *groan*

    well there is a second half coming up , hopefully to turn the tide —

  41. 41.

    Keith

    Looks like I jinxed Cam wre a 400-yard game. He had barely any yards passing in the 2nd quarter; but then, when your RB goes 65 yards for a TD, what can you do? It’s about points, not stats.

  43. 43.

    Billgerat

    The Seachickens have to control their fumbling ways or their success with the no-huddle will be for nothing.

  47. 47.

    Southern Beale

    Titans getting slaughtered by Steelers. Ah well. Glad I’m a hockey fan. Preds are undefeated so far this season. Okay, we’ve played two games … still!

  50. 50.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Hey is the NYG-Seattle game blacked out in the NY area? A lot of Gint fans disguised as seats. Meanwhile we will see if Clipboard Jesus(Charlie Whitehurst) can pull this out.

  51. 51.

    S. cerevisiae

    C’mon Vikes, keep scoring. Although I am surprised how well the D is playing with Winfield out and Cook on Fitz.

  52. 52.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Ahh a new movie that is a rip off of Logan’s Run(I’m surprised nobody has remade that)called “In Time” and in typical Republican instead of living to 30 you get 25 years.

  55. 55.

    RareSanity

    Today is bad day to be a fan of any team in the NFC South, outside of Carolina.

    Cam Newton is really good and he’s only a rookie.

    As a Falcon fan I am doubly depressed because out of the four team in the division, we have the “worst” quarterback in Matt Ryan, and he’s probably one of the top 10 QBs in the league.

    Anyone care to argue that the NFC South is not the toughest division in the NFL?

  63. 63.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Yutsano: I heard that phrase from the local ESPN station, I think Mike Salk the morning talker coined that phrase(to all of you what that phrase means, Whitehurst with his long hair and beard and is the back-up QB, well you know)

  66. 66.

    FlipYrWhig

    I thought Newton was going to be at best along the lines of Vince Young or Michael Vick 1.0, a QB who thrived in college because of improvisation, strength, and speed but destined to struggle badly in the pros because of never having had to work at improving himself. But he’s been better than that thus far.

  70. 70.

    S. cerevisiae

    Look at that – TD Seahawks!

    And of course, SKOL VIKES! a win is a win, the bad thing is McNabb has a job for another week.

  71. 71.

    RareSanity

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Cam was more mature than both of them coming out of college. The whole journey from Florida, to junior college, to Auburn, he was stronger mentally than Vick and Young.

    They never experienced any adversity in college and it hurt both of them early in their careers. They were used to everything just happening and had no respect for the amount of work it takes to be an NFL quarterback. It took jail for Vick to learn, jury is still out on Young, Cam seems to already have an understanding of this.

    My best friend was his offensive coordinator in high school and he says, “Cam’s just different. None of this surprises me, he was mature beyond his years in high school”.

    Judging by his initial performances, I’d say he’s still mature beyond his actual age.

  73. 73.

    RareSanity

    @efgoldman:

    Ha!

    After venturing into “The Linc” for the NFC Championship game when they played the Falcons, and narrowly escaping with my life, I enjoy everything bad that comes to Eagles!

  74. 74.

    The Dangerman

    The Eagles are now coming up with new ways to not win; really, it’s not losing, it’s Football Performance Art. I have to give props for the imagination.

  77. 77.

    The Dangerman

    Wow, Colts up 17-0, at home, and figure out that, oh fuck, we want Luck. Coupled with the Seahawks winning (WTF, Seattle? Listen, you want Tavaris Jackson behind center next year? Exactly!), Colts are now the clear favorite for Luck (maybe they trade it if Manning appears healthy enough, but he can’t much more than a few years left).

  78. 78.

    RareSanity

    Anybody else prefer New England’s “throwback” uniforms to their current ones?

    I think their new ones are hideous.

  79. 79.

    West of the Cascades

    Bills win!! Or – Eagles lose?? Either way I am going to have a heart attack if the Bills keep playing games like this all season. But it beats hell out of starting the season 0-8 like they did last year …

  81. 81.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @RareSanity: AMEN! Dittos for the Denver Broncos. I am on the fence for the Seattle Seahawks as well as the St.Louis Rams, don’t want the Bengals to go back nor the Tampa Bay Bucs. As a Browns fan they better not change.

  85. 85.

    Corner Stone

    I just don’t understand this. You have 7 seconds left from the 10. Throw two post routes to your tallest receiver, or the best hands TE matched against a LB.
    Don’t scramble left and throw right Matt Schaub.
    I don’t understand this.

  86. 86.

    Corner Stone

    Man, you let NO score a bazillion against you in the 4th quarter, now you let a fucking field goal kicker beat you.
    Why are these guys still getting paid to “coach” a pro team?

  88. 88.

    trollhattan

    @Corner Stone:

    Bad enough to have my teevee contaminated by the Raiders on every away game, but they have to win too? Gonna be a long Monday at work.

    But the Seahawks ugly out a rare road win, so there’s that.

  89. 89.

    RareSanity

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    I like the color new scheme for Seattle, adding the lime green. I’m not a fan of how busy all the uniforms are getting. Too many damn shapes on the sleeves nowadays.

    You’re right, Tampa should never return. Cleveland is a classic, like the Bears, Cowboys, Steelers and Packers. It’d be stupid to mess with those. I’m not sure what Cincy could do to theirs, but I like the colors, hate all the damn stripes!

    Now get off my damn lawn!

  90. 90.

    Corner Stone

    @trollhattan: I get on the headset for Matt Schaub’s helmet and I tell him very clearly. Do not take a sack. DO NOT. Throw it through the goalposts at 5 seconds if you have to.
    Otherwise, call two throws to the back corner for a jump ball, or a post for your TE in traffic.
    This is simple. Simple fucking ball. It’s not the playoffs, just call your two best throws and take the results.
    Who doesn’t know this?

  93. 93.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    I think their new ones are hideous.

    I love the new ones. The 50th anniversary throwbacks are nice, but the old style was worse.

  94. 94.

    Svensker

    Jets offense got a touchdown. Then they had to take a timeout because the rest of the team fainted from shock.

  95. 95.

    RareSanity

    @robertdsc-PowerBook:

    I think I just prefer the older colors to the new.

    Although they do immediately take me back to Tony Eason in the Super Bowl, wetting himself numerous times, over the course of the game.

  96. 96.

    Cacti

    Kevin Kolb’s turning out to be what I thought he’d be in Arizona…

    Completely overhyped.

  98. 98.

    MikeJ

    @RareSanity:

    I like the color new scheme for Seattle, adding the lime green.

    Did they send the Sounders to play for them? The idea of using a team that knows what winning is like makes some sense.

  109. 109.

    RareSanity

    @Corner Stone:

    No, LT took two Pats down with him.

    I rest my case…LOL

    I didn’t say he didn’t make a good play, I just said he got leveled, and he did.

  111. 111.

    RareSanity

    @Corner Stone:

    The bad thing about it is, as good of a play as it was, I won’t save him from the, “Damn, LT…” during the film sessions next week.

    I’ve been that guy before…teammates can be cruel…(wipes tear)

  113. 113.

    Svensker

    Dang. Hubster’s train is coming in an hour early — I’m gonna miss the 4th Q. Crap. Whoever heard of Amtrak being early? Prolly paid off by Bellycheat. Grrrr.

  115. 115.

    JWL

    Tampa 2?

    No, Tampa 3, 49ers 48.

    Adding insult to injury, the Bucks embarrassed themselves by committing stupid penalties. They lost their composure. Their head coach drew a 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty, for crying out loud.

    But it was a Niner victory all the way– offensively, defensively, special teams. Like the good old days of the Golden Era.

  117. 117.

    Larkspur

    @JWL: Yeah, just like the great good old days. I honestly didn’t think I was ever going to read my favorite sports headline again: “49ers Romp!” Sorry Tampa, but that was some fine old-fashioned fun at Candlestick today.

  121. 121.

    kindness

    I can’t believe the Niners are as good as they’ve been this year. It’s been so long since they were good.

  128. 128.

    Corner Stone

    Oooohhh, blind side tackle out for GB. This may get ugly.

    Of course, that throw suggests it may not.

  129. 129.

    Raven (formerly stuckinred)

    @Corner Stone: The local radio meatballs were talking about the bad blood last year as a result of the Falcons running their mouths after they beat them in the regular season. Word is it has not subsided.

  139. 139.

    Ron

    Beating the crap out of the Titans makes me happy. Also, my wife is from WI, so the Brewers win made her happy. She is currently nervously watching to see if the Packers can hold on here.

  140. 140.

    Ron

    Okay, I’m rooting for the Packers tonight, but if that’s really not a catch according to the NFL, then their rules are seriously screwed.

  146. 146.

    2liberal

    —-and Aaron puts me in first place in the “BJFL Wingnut Welfare League” with 40 points. Thnx!

  149. 149.

    JWL

    @kindness: One dominating game does not a “good as this year” make.

    That noted, the credit-where-credit-is-due: For the first time in a decade, the Niners have an offensive minded coach who knows what he’s doing with what he has to work with. For the first time in a decade, the offense hasn’t been reduced to a 1,2,3, punt squad.

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