Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Republicans in disarray!

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Open Thread: Another Circuit Stop for the GOP Clown Car

Open Thread: Another Circuit Stop for the GOP Clown Car

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(Jeff Danziger’s website)
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Yet another GOP debate this evening:

It’s been nearly three weeks since the last Republican presidential primary debate… Perry has fallen from his perch high above Romney in the polls, all the way back to third place behind Romney and Herman Cain, and now has a lot to gain, and lose, in tonight’s 8 p.m. debate, an economy-focused event hosted by Bloomberg and the Washington Post at Dartmouth College. Perry can either erase memories of those bad debates with a sharp performance, or he can further convince donors and voters that he’s not ready to compete on the national stage.
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Speaking of stages, the format of this debate is a bit different than what we’re used to seeing. Instead of standing behind podiums, the candidates will be seated around a large circular table facing debate hosts Charlie Rose, Karen Tumulty, and Juliana Goldman, and surrounded by the audience. “This format,” Bloomberg News hopes, “will facilitate serious and substantive debate on issues of vital importance to the country.” Good luck with that.
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Another quirk of the debate is that, according to the Times, “the candidates have also been told they will be able to ask each other questions, and that the order will go alphabetically, with Mrs. Bachmann starting.”

Bloomberg News, the WaPo, and Charlie Rose — now that’s what you call an insomnia cure serious-y! Since Rudy 911 Giuliani has taken himself out of contention, Chris Christie has endorsed Romeny (on Fox News!), and notorious kingmaker Ralph Nader is lost in futile dreams of a Bloomberg candidacy, truly, it is the time for seriousness. Therefore, I predict at least one own-goal gaffe by Willard (probably in his role as a lifelong denizen of the Uncanny Valley), something egregiously offensive to those of us who are not straight white men with money from one or more of the non-NH-based candidates, and — unless the security services conduct rigorous TSA-style body searches plus multiple auditorium sweeps — a hail of beer cans from the audience during the now-established “viral video GOP embarrassment” round. Dartmouth has a reputation of its own to protect, after all.

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  1. 1.

    Zam

    Pretty certain it’s gonna be nothing but “Obama is such a pussy, why haven’t we bombed Iran yet?”

  3. 3.

    Spaghetti Lee

    You know, when I was in school, they made us sit in a circle so the kids in the back wouldn’t goof off. I think that’s the principle at work here, more than anything.

    And these cartoons normally don’t do it for me, but I do like the glower on Rick Perry up there.

  5. 5.

    kc

    “the candidates have also been told they will be able to ask each other questions, and that the order will go alphabetically, with Mrs. Bachmann starting.”

    BACHMANN: “Governor Perry, when was the last time you gave an injection to an underage girl?”

  6. 6.

    JGabriel

    Anne Laurie:

    I predict … a hail of beer cans from the audience during the now-established “viral video GOP embarrassment” round.

    I predict applause from the audience and shouts of “Yeah!” if anyone mentions Topeka getting rid of laws against domestic battery.

    .

  7. 7.

    Martin

    We need a drinking game or maybe bingo for audience shout-outs. Fuck what the candidates say – they’re boring.

  9. 9.

    JGabriel

    Another quirk of the debate is that, according to the Times, “the candidates have also been told they will be able to ask each other questions, and that the order will go alphabetically, with Mrs. Bachmann starting.”

    Rick Perry: “Governor Romney, do you wear magic underwear and can you describe the doctrines in your faith that require it, for our audience?”

    ETA: On second thought, Perry probably doesn’t know the word “doctrine”.

    .
    .

  10. 10.

    Martin

    I’m going to predict a ‘nuke them!’ shout out from the audience if this Iranian/Mexican thing is offered as a question. The audience will clearly be rooting for nuking Mexico and every individual Mexican, but the candidate will anxiously spin it back to nuking Iran.

  11. 11.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @kc:

    Hey, that means Santorum goes last. It’s fitting, but if he wants to move up in the order, he could agree to go by “Frothy”, for the night.

    ETA: Or for even more lulz, what are the odds some rightblogger (Hoft, maybe) will say that this proves the GOP isn’t racist and sexist, because Bachmann and Cain got their questions first?

  14. 14.

    JGabriel

    Martin:

    I’m going to predict a ‘nuke them!’ shout out from the audience if this Iranian/Mexican thing is offered as a question.

    Oh, yeah.

    I forgot about the Iranian/Mexican Cartel thing, but you know there’s gonna be some sort of embarrassing reaction from the audience to that one.

    .

  16. 16.

    A Ghost To Most

    Is that guy who threw the hot dog at Tiger available? I have a job for him; “Frothy”, indeed.

  17. 17.

    Martin

    Wait, they can ask each other questions? Holy fuck, how did Maddow and Jon Stewart arrange that? I take it back, this will be vastly more entertaining than I thought. Ron Paul’s question will make no fucking sense whatsoever.

  20. 20.

    flounder

    Hey I’ve got a question I don’t think I’ve ever seen answered, and maybe someone could help me out?
    So if the Landrieu’s and Nelson’s and Manchin’s of the world think that being anti-Democrat helps them win election, and all the big Democratic institutions think this is the case as well, then when these guys teabag other dems, why don’t the big institutions (up to the prez himself) play the other side of the con.
    I mean when Nelson preens about how he hates democratic policy, everyone is all “he has to have his independence, blah, blah, blah” (and then they cut him checks). Why not call him a traitor, or chickenshit or something (and cut him the same check)?
    If they want to keep the guy around (if for nothing else but to vote for a Dem a leader), and they buy in to the idea that he gains something by positioning himself against all the other Democrats, why not at least give him some more campaign material?

  22. 22.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    the candidates will be seated around a large circular table

    I thought the Dems had a trademark on that whole circular firing squad thing. Shouldn’t the DNC be getting royalties for this? Or could the moderator at least open the event with a cry of “Ready, Fire, Aim!”

  25. 25.

    Martin

    @Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen: Oh good point. How far down the east coast ivy league liberal elite path are they going to go down? Dartmouth is probably the most conservative of the ivies, but that only means they’re about as conservative as the Haight.

  26. 26.

    RalfW

    Chris Christie has endorsed Mittens. Idiot Chuck Todd on NBC just now said it’s a mystery why endorsements for Mittens are coming in so early.

    It’s no mystery — esp for Christie. There’s a lot of Wall Street dollars that go under or over the Hudson into NJ every night in the fat wallets of Banksters and brokers.

    And they want their not-totally-insane Republican Party back form the TeaParty morans. They know Herman Cain is beyond a loose cannon, Perry is looking like a stupider, Rove-free Bush, and the rest of the candidates are all 5% or less in any poll.

  27. 27.

    El Cid

    What if all candidates were seated on a carousel and whichever one passed by when the moderator presses the buzzer and asks the tame question?

    Or those gyro-sphere things?

  29. 29.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen:

    Dartmouth, I think, is pretty conservative for an Ivy, and has that reputation. Dinesh D’Souza, Laura Ingraham, and all three of the guys from Powerline all went there. And The Dartmouth Review is a pretty conservative paper.

  31. 31.

    Dougerhead

    I want a firm answer from someone about this: if I watch the debate, I will not be subjected to ads for Whitney every 12 minutes? Right? Right?

    I’m not kidding. I’m not turning it on til I know for sure.

  32. 32.

    Ash Can

    My question predictions:

    Bachmann: “Herman, why should any God-fearing Christian American vote for you when you don’t just bear the mark of Cain, you are Cain?”

    Cain: “Ms. Bachmann, would you please stop throwing garlic and holy water at me?”

    Gingrich: “Mr. Cain, could I interest you in a great business proposition? If you sell my book through your pizza outlets, I’ll give you a cut of the proceeds. Deal?”

    Huntsman: “Governor Perry, would you even be able to find Mexico on a map?”

    Paul: “Did any of you notice the black U.N. helicopter parked right outside as we were coming in? And that the men inside of it had bright green complexions? You didn’t, did you? How can any of you do a halfway decent job as president if you don’t notice these things?”

    Perry: “Governor Romney, would you like to tell us about the child pornography ring you ran while governor of Massachusetts?”

    Romney: “Senator Santorum, could you give me a few tips on the care of dogs?”

    Santorum: “Gee, Governor Romney, I was going to ask you the same question.”

  34. 34.

    J. Michael Neal

    @Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen:

    (Actually I know nothin’ about the politics of Dartmouth, but my Little Red State Book says Private East Coast Universities = DoublePlusUngood.)

    Let’s start with the fact that Faber College in Animal House was modeled on Dartmouth, and that most students there take this as a compliment.

  36. 36.

    scav

    @R-Jud: Well, Drunk as a Lord, so I would somehow expect they would debate and govern that way. Although I don’t expect them actually to be throwing biscuits at each other á la Drones: I have a fleeting grasp on the distinction between fiction and reality. It does so get in the way of a good time. It also means I’m not actually expecting to see the entire audience tonight wearing duct-tape over their mouths, although I’ve no doubt they’ll get a strongly worded lecture beforehand about not being the weird one.

  38. 38.

    J. Michael Neal

    Also, too, can we make it a rule that if you want to complain about immigrants not learning English that you do so in grammatical sentences? And could someone please inform the two wankers three seats over from me at the bar about this rule?

  39. 39.

    lamh34

    IMHO, if any of these yahoos are serious about trying to win this nom, then there is no way one of ’em are not gonna bring up this which was reported today:

    White House used Mitt Romney health-care law as blueprint for federal law
    Three advisers to GOP candidate met a dozen times with senior Obama officials, records show

    Newly obtained White House records provide fresh details on how senior Obama administration officials used Mitt Romney’s landmark health-care law in Massachusetts as a model for the new federal law, including recruiting some of Romney’s own health care advisers and experts to help craft the act now derided by Republicans as “Obamacare.”

    The records, gleaned from White House visitor logs reviewed by NBC News, show that senior White House officials had a dozen meetings in 2009 with three health-care advisers and experts who helped shape the health care reform law signed by Romney in 2006, when the Republican presidential candidate was governor of Massachusetts. One of those meetings, on July 20, 2009, was in the Oval Office and presided over by President Barack Obama, the records show.

    I know Romney is gonna just go all states rights vs federal, but still if any of these yahoos were any good at debating, then they’d be trying to shiv Romney with this as much as possible.

  41. 41.

    Brachiator

    the candidates will be seated around a large circular table facing debate hosts Charlie Rose, Karen Tumulty, and Juliana Goldman, and surrounded by the audience.

    Charlie Rose?

    I’m willing to bet some good money that Rose will ask a long question, and answer it himself while the candidates are trying to figure out what the hell the question was about.

  42. 42.

    TenguPhule

    Instead of standing behind podiums, the candidates will be seated around a large circular table facing debate hosts Charlie Rose, Karen Tumulty, and Juliana Goldman, and surrounded by the audience.

    20 kilos of C4 in the center of that upcoming circle jerk would leave this world a better place.

  43. 43.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Spaghetti Lee: Dartmouth (where I went, graduating–sigh–20 years ago) has been a breeding ground for conservative dumbfuckery for 30 years. The “Stephen Colbert” character, not the real Stephen Colbert, is supposed to be a Dartmouth alum. Along with the rogue’s gallery you mention, the Powerline blog is written by Dartmouth alums. But FYI the Dartmouth Review (think National Review, junior-varsity version) is an independent publication and not the official student newspaper.

  44. 44.

    JGabriel

    @jl:

    Skyrim? That a Mormon holiday?

    Highly anticipated video game. I know there’s at least two or three others here who are looking forward to it. I thought there might be more.

    .

  45. 45.

    JGabriel

    @jl:

    Skyrim? That a Mormon holiday?

    Highly anticipated video game. I know there’s at least two or three others here who are looking forward to it. I thought the might be more.

    .

  46. 46.

    jl

    @cathyx: Is that a preview for tonight’s debate? I didn’t know one of the GOPper had a beard.

    Re the Charlie Rose goofathon tonight, I will watch for clips. I want to see if they use that swank Rose show stage effect of black on black suavity and seriousness, where the heads are literally talking out of the deepest blackness. It will be like some kind of avant garde theatre, a cross between comedy of the absurd and the theatre of cruelty. I have not seen that type of high brow artsy fartsy stage production in a long time.

    ‘cept will probably want popcorn. That doesn’t quite fit in, but I’ll want some.

  49. 49.

    ThatLeftTurnInABQ

    @Ash Can:

    Romney: “Senator Santorum, could you give me a few tips on the care of dogs?”
     
    Santorum: “Gee, Governor Romney, I was going to ask you the same question.”

    See, now this is the kind of quality work that keeps bringing me back to this blog.

  51. 51.

    jl

    @Brachiator: Surrounded by the audience? Exclamation point exclamation point question mark.

    That is not a good idea.

    Will there be moat with ravenously famished man eating sharks with laser beams on their heads to keep the candidates safe?

    Or just bass with sharpened dentures? (That won’t work. I am sure the spryer members of the audience carry portable bass boats)

  52. 52.

    Litlebritdifrnt2

    Just been listening to ABC News in the background (my mum is watching it). They reported that 4 people from OWS had been arrested after occupying the senate building and that “100 people in Boston were arrested after blocking a bridge” WTF? Either every story I have seen today about the arrests in Boston have been completely wrong or ABC is reporting bullshit. Wonder which it is?

  53. 53.

    les

    If they’re sitting, maybe Michele can flash a little cleavage for the audience. She’s gotta be desperate, right?

  62. 62.

    DFH no.6

    Hey, I’m a straight white man with (some) money – and old, to boot – and I’m egregiously offended by pretty much everything that comes out of the mouths of every single one of these asshats.

    And I’m totally with Doug – not checking this on the tube unless I’m guaranteed no Whitney ads. Na ga do it (said in Dana Carvey voice).

    And the rest of you have cracked me right the fuck up. That’s the only think I expect anymore from our deeply dysfunctional politics. Humor.

    Otherwise, we’re all pretty thoroughly fucked, seems most likely. Some just a bit later than others (my selfish prayer to The FSM is I’m in that later group – maybe I can run the clock out, even).

  63. 63.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @flounder:
    Welcome to court games. There’s all sorts of reasons why this is a difficult and often unfair situation. The most important are A) that these candidates are still Democrats, and they just want to be seen as ‘not too Democrat’ rather than actually anti-Democrat. B) Senators in particular are renowned for being some of the most egotistical people in government. Each one has huge power to fuck up the works – as the GOP has been demonstrating – and none more so than the Blue Dogs who are unreliable votes for their own side. The risk of actually offending one of these prissy prima donas is not worth the meaningless satisfaction of calling them out for being an assclown.

  66. 66.

    Martin

    @lamh34: How can the Senate defeat the Senate’s bill? Someone had to be sponsoring it and vote in its favor and someone had to be opposing it.

    Fucking weak-ass journalism.

  67. 67.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Martin:

    How can the Senate defeat the Senate’s bill?

    You saw the scene in Fight Club where Ed Norton beats himself up, right?

  68. 68.

    Turgidson

    @lamh34:

    On that topic, Jon Tester voted No(although many of the assholes rumored to be voting No apparently backed off or were bribed into not being assholes…since the bill is going nowhere anyway).

    Tester’s press release explaining his opposition criticizes the bill for…not doing a bunch of stuff that’s right there in the bill:

    “The things I support in this bill are outweighed by the things I can’t support. We shouldn’t be sending billions of dollars in bailout aid to states. And I can’t support tax gimmicks that do little to create jobs and fail to address a much bigger underlying problem: The need for a big, broad and bipartisan plan to cut the deficit and to make sure we can pay our bills and rebuild our economy.”

    Jesus fucking christ. Aid to states SAVES FUCKING JOBS YOU IDIOT. Tax “gimmicks”? The idea is to give employers incentives to hire. What the fucking hell is wrong with that? Big, broad, bipartisan plan to reduce the deficit? Is that a goddamned joke? No, really…is it? Mr. Tester, have you met Mitch McConnell? Heard anything he’s said the past 2+ years? Anything at all? Have you been sleeping under a fucking rock on Mars all this time?

    “Moving forward, we need to focus on investing in the things that create jobs in this country: Our critical infrastructure, education, and research and development. We need significant but responsible cuts to government spending.”

    Uh hello, Mr. Tester? Most of that is in the fucking bill. And the spending cuts are all we’ve talked about for the past year, so fuck off on that one too.

    “We need a wholesale reform of our tax code to make sure that millionaires and corporations pay their fair share, and to make taxes more fair for working families. And we need to ensure that critical initiatives like Social Security and Medicare are built to last, so they can benefit our kids and grandkids.”

    Again, what planet have you been on, dipshit? There is a millionaire surtax in the bill, and anyway, it’s a jobs bill, not a tax reform bill. WTF are you even talking about?

    “This measure does none of those things. It is an expensive, temporary fix to a problem that needs a big, long-term solution. And I look forward to working together, putting politics aside, to find a solution that’s right for Montana and the nation.”

    *Speechless…head may explode*

  69. 69.

    Anne Laurie

    @Litlebritdifrnt2:

    “100 people in Boston were arrested after blocking a bridge” WTF?

    Marchers associated with the OccupyBoston assembly were prevented from blocking a bridge earlier on Monday afternoon, an action entirely separate from the Greenway arrests. (Except insofar as the influx of college kids enjoying a long holiday weekend & the unusually clement weather probably influenced both the march & the attempt to set up a second campsite.)

    Ironically — and props to the local tv media for pointing this out — the much more heavily trafficked Zakim bridge was effectively “blocked” for many hours that very same afternoon, by film crews working on a Jim Carey film. But of course the Hollywood people had permits, as Mayor Mumbles’ spokespersons piously pointed out.

  70. 70.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Turgidson:

    Righteous. I hope you will send that, word for word, to Tester’s office first thing tomorrow.

    P.S. You could copy everyone who voted against. A lot of people could stand to see it.

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