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You are here: Home / It Gets Better

It Gets Better

by @heymistermix.com|  October 18, 20118:22 am| 54 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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Rick Santorum is accusing Saturday Night Live of “bullying” after a debate skit where each candidate was seated based on their chances of winning the nomination:

Actors playing contenders Herman Cain and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney were seated at the table, while Texas Gov. Rick Perry was placed in the corner of the set, Rep. Ron Paul (Texas) was banished to a parking garage, former Speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.) and Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) were put a broom closet, and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”

Although Santorum, played by Andy Samberg, had only a limited roll in the sketch, he was portrayed as upset and uncomfortable.

I’m sure Rick will feel better after he watches a few videos on YouTube.

(via OTB)

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Reader Interactions

54Comments

  1. 1.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 18, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Wonderful thread title, mistermix.

  2. 2.

    Ash Can

    October 18, 2011 at 8:32 am

    “Saturday Night Live is bullying me into being gay.”

  3. 3.

    dr. bloor

    October 18, 2011 at 8:45 am

    Tag is FTW.

  4. 4.

    BigHank53

    October 18, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Sniveling never got anybody elected to anything, Rick.

  5. 5.

    Donald G

    October 18, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Like most bullies, Santorum can dish it out, but certainly can’t take it.

  6. 6.

    Ash Can

    October 18, 2011 at 8:53 am

    Not entirely OT, CNN will be co-hosting a GOP debate focusing on foreign policy next month (h/t TPM). The jokes write themselves.

  7. 7.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    October 18, 2011 at 8:57 am

    Santorum is the Frank Burns of politics.

  8. 8.

    Yevgraf

    October 18, 2011 at 8:59 am

    When Dick Santorum (great gay porn name, BTW) was a kid in high school and his friends would go to cruise parks to beat on gays, he was the sniveling creep in the back of the group, vaguely uncomfortable, following the crowd, yet getting a little excited, if you know what I mean.

    The dude’s whole oeuvre screams “closet case”.

  9. 9.

    Carrie

    October 18, 2011 at 9:01 am

    @Comrade Javamanphil:

    Santorum is the Frank Burns of politics

    If there was a like button here, i would click it.

  10. 10.

    hells littlest angel

    October 18, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Poor Ricky. Depicted in a comedy sketch as being in a gay bar seated between TWO gay men. It’s worse than bullying. He’s like a heterosexual Matthew Shepard, except that Rick didn’t provoke his attackers.

  11. 11.

    rob!

    October 18, 2011 at 9:07 am

    had only a limited roll

    I guess that’s when you only put butter on part of Santorum. Probably the thighs.

  12. 12.

    boss bitch

    October 18, 2011 at 9:09 am

    @Ash Can:

    Not entirely OT, CNN will be co-hosting a GOP debate focusing on foreign policy next month (h/t TPM). The jokes write themselves.

    Something tells me a member of the Cheney clan might be there.

  13. 13.

    jayjaybear

    October 18, 2011 at 9:10 am

    Republicans are really sniveling whiners inside, aren’t they? They want the best of both worlds: “I should be able to say anything and not get any blowback about it, dammit!”

    Sorry, no. When you run your mouth off about ridiculous things like marriage equality being like marrying your dog and say vile things about an entire minority, and you do this without being aware of just how much the social milieu has changed in the mainstream, it’s like spitting into the wind. You’re going to get slimed with your own muck, and it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

  14. 14.

    LosGatosCA

    October 18, 2011 at 9:10 am

    Santorum is outraged because he NEVER acts that way when he’s in a gay bar. He’s actually very comfortable in a gay bar. Make that extremely comfortable in a gay bar. In fact, he might even say its his milieu, except he never uses unAmerican, non-purebred English words. And that’s what makes it all so galling to him.
    http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/

    The names have been changed to protect the Santorum.

  15. 15.

    Mark B.

    October 18, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Well now that Cain has staked out the electrified fence and moat filled with alligators solutions for immigration reform, where can the rest of the candidates go? Fricking sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their frickin’ heads? I guess, other than antipersonnel mines at the border, that may be about as far as you can go.

  16. 16.

    amk

    October 18, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Rethugs are proving the meme ‘you can’t make this up’ wrong.

  17. 17.

    cleek

    October 18, 2011 at 9:23 am

    @Ash Can:
    just the concept of ‘policy’ seems foreign to the current GOP

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    October 18, 2011 at 9:24 am

    @Ash Can:

    Not entirely OT, CNN will be co-hosting a GOP debate focusing on foreign policy next month (h/t TPM). The jokes write themselves.

    “No brown people crossing the border. Obama sucks. Bomb bomb bomb Iran. Obama sucks. Destroy the UN. Obama sucks. China is somehow bad. Obama sucks.”

    Did I miss anything?

  19. 19.

    jrg

    October 18, 2011 at 9:27 am

    You might be a republican if joking about shooting people sneaking into the country illegally is teh lulz, but SNL skits about the GOP presidential field are deeply hurtful and offensive.

  20. 20.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    October 18, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Poor Ricky. Hang in there. It really does get better. Okay, in your case I don’t see how it could but you’re good at deceiving yourself to believe anything.

  21. 21.

    geg6

    October 18, 2011 at 9:28 am

    BEST THREAD TITLE EVAH!

  22. 22.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 9:56 am

    @hells littlest angel: I don’t think Mathew Sheppard ‘provoked’ his attackers into gruesomely beating him to death. That is, if you were implying he did.

  23. 23.

    catclub

    October 18, 2011 at 9:56 am

    @dmsilev: Yep, you forgot:

    Iraq never happened. Also, Castro is the biggest threat evar,
    and We did _too_ win Vietnam.

  24. 24.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 9:57 am

    @efgoldman: Ron Paul is Mr Magoo.

  25. 25.

    quannlace

    October 18, 2011 at 10:02 am

    Man, what delicate hot-house flowers we have running for office! Guess that whole Google thing has left him permanently overwrought.

  26. 26.

    maya

    October 18, 2011 at 10:06 am

    @efgoldman:

    Let’s see. Is Cain George Jefferson? No, more Redd Foxx (sorry, don’t remember the character name).

    This is who he is exactly like.

    Shouldn’t Ricky Right be in Syria now poking around for those WMDs that he just KNEW were shipped there by Saddam instead of wasting his time running for something he’ll never be?

  27. 27.

    Yevgraf

    October 18, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Let’s see. Is Cain George Jefferson? No, more Redd Foxx (sorry, don’t remember the character name).

    Neither is correct – he’s George Jefferson’s brother. The guy with the cigar.

    Mittster is definitely the tight-assed ROTC dude from Animal House.

    I get him as more of an amoral enabler as opposed to an overt evil. Think more like James Cromwell as President in the movie version of “Clear and Present Danger”.

    Perry is Rod Steiger’s sheriff character from In the Heat of the Night.

    Steiger’s character was actually capable of some insight despite his culturally inflicted prejudices and upbringing. Perry possesses none of those qualities, and is far more akin to the local sheriff in “Billy Jack”.

    Now that this is settled, does everybody agree that Huckabee is absolutely, totally and completely Flounder from “Animal House”?

  28. 28.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 10:06 am

    @Paul in KY: Michelle Bachmann is Mrs. Coulter from ‘The Golden Compass’ (book version, not movie).

  29. 29.

    Librarian

    October 18, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Letterman did the same joke, although he put Santorum out in the parking lot.

  30. 30.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 10:11 am

    @Yevgraf: No, not Flounder. That guy had compassion & pathos. Huckabee has none of that. Huckabee is more Elmer Gantry or the Music Dude that cons the town into forming a huge brass band (lookswise, of course, he is not at all like the men who portrayed those characters).

  31. 31.

    eemom

    October 18, 2011 at 10:11 am

    dunno, it seems to me that anyone with two firing neurons to rub together, having borne the brunt of a perfectly targeted joke, would leave bad enough alone and not, like, call MORE attention to such joke.

    There is no bottom to depths of loserdom that is “Man on Dog” Santorum.

  32. 32.

    aimai

    October 18, 2011 at 10:18 am

    I really have to applaud Dan Savage for his ingenuity in weaponizing Santorum’s name. It was a stroke of genius. There have been other, popular and grassroots renaming movements like the one that gave us “Quisling” but the swift revenge of Savage’s creation just leaves me joyful every time I think of it.

    aimai

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    October 18, 2011 at 10:27 am

    @Comrade Javamanphil:

    Old Ferret Face?

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    October 18, 2011 at 10:30 am

    @efgoldman:

    Um, no, Mittster is NOT Douglas Niedermayer.

    Niedermayer actually went to Vietnam. He was killed by his own troops there.

    Mittster sat out his generation’s war as a Mormon missionary.

    In France.

  35. 35.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 10:33 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: I think the Mittster is closer to the Greg Marmalade character.

  36. 36.

    mellowjohn

    October 18, 2011 at 10:35 am

    @efgoldman: fred sanford.

  37. 37.

    Yevgraf

    October 18, 2011 at 10:37 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Niedermayer actually went to Vietnam.

    As did Jane Fonda, as I’ve become fond of pointing out….

  38. 38.

    Villago Delenda Est

    October 18, 2011 at 10:41 am

    @Paul in KY:

    The parking scene IS the Mittster.

  39. 39.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 10:47 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: That’s what I was thinking when I wrote that! Hee, hee!

  40. 40.

    Sock Puppet of the Great Satan

    October 18, 2011 at 11:00 am

    Speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.) and Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) were put a broom closet, and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”

    Funny thing is that the Castro has been colonized by breeders moving west from Noe Valley and is much less exclusively gay than it used to be: you see a lot of strollers for both straight and gay families these days. It also turns out the public schools in that neighborhood are rather good.

  41. 41.

    hells littlest angel

    October 18, 2011 at 11:02 am

    @Paul in KY (#25): I was (tastelessly, in hindsight) joking.

  42. 42.

    Dervin

    October 18, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Oh, come on, can we talk about Ron Paul’s attempted kidnapping?
    The two shots were horrifying, then hilarious when RON PAUL walked out of the van unscathed. That one bit pretty much explained the GOP’s view of the threatening and resiliency of his message.

  43. 43.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 11:49 am

    @hells littlest angel: No prob. Thanks for explaining.

  44. 44.

    jibeaux

    October 18, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    Funniness

  45. 45.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    October 18, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    @Paul in KY:

    Except Coulter was intelligent…

  46. 46.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    October 18, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Mittster sat out his generation’s war as a Mormon missionary.

    In France.

    Also:

    His father wan NOT born in the USA.

    His grandfather was a polygamist.

    All of which would be liabilities for a Democratic candidate, but IOKIYAR.

  47. 47.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy: I don’t think Bachmann is stupid. She is acting, in a way. She does have some crazy beliefs, but I think she is cynically riding the fundamentalist wave.

    She was a freaking tax lawyer for awhile.

  48. 48.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    October 18, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    @Paul in KY: After the bush hiding incident, I always pictured her as Gladys Kravitz.

  49. 49.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    @Comrade Javamanphil: Had to google that one. I’m from that era & can just barely remember her. ‘Bewitched’ was not my favorite show. Didn’t hate it, but I was a little kid then & didn’t watch much TV beyond cartoons.

  50. 50.

    cckids

    October 18, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    @Paul in KY:

    Michelle Bachmann is Mrs. Coulter from ‘The Golden Compass’ (book version, not movie)

    Oh, hell no. Marisa Coulter was pure evil, but she was smart. Bachmann is much more like Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Cunning, but dim & unable to foresee the consequences of her actions. Enjoys hurting the ‘wrong sort’ of people & thinks it is for their own good.

  51. 51.

    Paul in KY

    October 18, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    @cckids: She ain’t smart enough to stop a little girl & a drunk bear from fucking up all her & the Magisterium’s plans.

    Delores Umbridge is a fine analogy though.

  52. 52.

    Triassic Sands

    October 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    …and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”

    I guess it was too expensive to put him where he really belongs…in another galaxy.

  53. 53.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    October 18, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    “Now, the next question is for candidate Rick Santorum. Congressman Santorum, if you were President and the country was involved in a crisis with Iran, would you break down and start whining if they made a gay joke about you?”

  54. 54.

    SFAW

    October 18, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    Marisa Coulter was pure evil, but she was smart.

    Yeah, but she kinda-sorta-maybe redeems herself at the end of the series. Ya know, after she’s wrought death and destruction on far too many people. Of course, maybe Philip Pullman was thinking of mAnn Coulter when he named the character. Although the likelihood of mAnn ever realizing how fucked up s/he is, is approaching zero at a high rate of speed.

    The Umbridge analogy is spot-on.

    … if you were President and the country was involved in a crisis with Iran, would you break down and start whining if they made a gay joke about you?”

    A line like that is one of the reasons I still slog through this site. Well, actually, this whole string is chock full o’ win.

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