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I was promised a recession.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

A consequence of cucumbers

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Thanks for reminding me that Van Jones needs to be slapped.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

No Justins, No Peace

You cannot shame the shameless.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

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You are here: Home / It Gets Better

It Gets Better

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Rick Santorum is accusing Saturday Night Live of “bullying” after a debate skit where each candidate was seated based on their chances of winning the nomination:

Actors playing contenders Herman Cain and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney were seated at the table, while Texas Gov. Rick Perry was placed in the corner of the set, Rep. Ron Paul (Texas) was banished to a parking garage, former Speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.) and Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) were put a broom closet, and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”

Although Santorum, played by Andy Samberg, had only a limited roll in the sketch, he was portrayed as upset and uncomfortable.

I’m sure Rick will feel better after he watches a few videos on YouTube.

(via OTB)

Reader Interactions

54Comments

  8. 8.

    Yevgraf

    When Dick Santorum (great gay porn name, BTW) was a kid in high school and his friends would go to cruise parks to beat on gays, he was the sniveling creep in the back of the group, vaguely uncomfortable, following the crowd, yet getting a little excited, if you know what I mean.

    The dude’s whole oeuvre screams “closet case”.

  10. 10.

    hells littlest angel

    Poor Ricky. Depicted in a comedy sketch as being in a gay bar seated between TWO gay men. It’s worse than bullying. He’s like a heterosexual Matthew Shepard, except that Rick didn’t provoke his attackers.

  11. 11.

    rob!

    had only a limited roll

    I guess that’s when you only put butter on part of Santorum. Probably the thighs.

  12. 12.

    boss bitch

    @Ash Can:

    Not entirely OT, CNN will be co-hosting a GOP debate focusing on foreign policy next month (h/t TPM). The jokes write themselves.

    Something tells me a member of the Cheney clan might be there.

  13. 13.

    jayjaybear

    Republicans are really sniveling whiners inside, aren’t they? They want the best of both worlds: “I should be able to say anything and not get any blowback about it, dammit!”

    Sorry, no. When you run your mouth off about ridiculous things like marriage equality being like marrying your dog and say vile things about an entire minority, and you do this without being aware of just how much the social milieu has changed in the mainstream, it’s like spitting into the wind. You’re going to get slimed with your own muck, and it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

  14. 14.

    LosGatosCA

    Santorum is outraged because he NEVER acts that way when he’s in a gay bar. He’s actually very comfortable in a gay bar. Make that extremely comfortable in a gay bar. In fact, he might even say its his milieu, except he never uses unAmerican, non-purebred English words. And that’s what makes it all so galling to him.
    http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/

    The names have been changed to protect the Santorum.

  15. 15.

    Mark B.

    Well now that Cain has staked out the electrified fence and moat filled with alligators solutions for immigration reform, where can the rest of the candidates go? Fricking sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their frickin’ heads? I guess, other than antipersonnel mines at the border, that may be about as far as you can go.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    @Ash Can:

    Not entirely OT, CNN will be co-hosting a GOP debate focusing on foreign policy next month (h/t TPM). The jokes write themselves.

    “No brown people crossing the border. Obama sucks. Bomb bomb bomb Iran. Obama sucks. Destroy the UN. Obama sucks. China is somehow bad. Obama sucks.”

    Did I miss anything?

  19. 19.

    jrg

    You might be a republican if joking about shooting people sneaking into the country illegally is teh lulz, but SNL skits about the GOP presidential field are deeply hurtful and offensive.

  20. 20.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    Poor Ricky. Hang in there. It really does get better. Okay, in your case I don’t see how it could but you’re good at deceiving yourself to believe anything.

  25. 25.

    quannlace

    Man, what delicate hot-house flowers we have running for office! Guess that whole Google thing has left him permanently overwrought.

  26. 26.

    maya

    @efgoldman:

    Let’s see. Is Cain George Jefferson? No, more Redd Foxx (sorry, don’t remember the character name).

    This is who he is exactly like.

    Shouldn’t Ricky Right be in Syria now poking around for those WMDs that he just KNEW were shipped there by Saddam instead of wasting his time running for something he’ll never be?

  27. 27.

    Yevgraf

    Let’s see. Is Cain George Jefferson? No, more Redd Foxx (sorry, don’t remember the character name).

    Neither is correct – he’s George Jefferson’s brother. The guy with the cigar.

    Mittster is definitely the tight-assed ROTC dude from Animal House.

    I get him as more of an amoral enabler as opposed to an overt evil. Think more like James Cromwell as President in the movie version of “Clear and Present Danger”.

    Perry is Rod Steiger’s sheriff character from In the Heat of the Night.

    Steiger’s character was actually capable of some insight despite his culturally inflicted prejudices and upbringing. Perry possesses none of those qualities, and is far more akin to the local sheriff in “Billy Jack”.

    Now that this is settled, does everybody agree that Huckabee is absolutely, totally and completely Flounder from “Animal House”?

  30. 30.

    Paul in KY

    @Yevgraf: No, not Flounder. That guy had compassion & pathos. Huckabee has none of that. Huckabee is more Elmer Gantry or the Music Dude that cons the town into forming a huge brass band (lookswise, of course, he is not at all like the men who portrayed those characters).

  31. 31.

    eemom

    dunno, it seems to me that anyone with two firing neurons to rub together, having borne the brunt of a perfectly targeted joke, would leave bad enough alone and not, like, call MORE attention to such joke.

    There is no bottom to depths of loserdom that is “Man on Dog” Santorum.

  32. 32.

    aimai

    I really have to applaud Dan Savage for his ingenuity in weaponizing Santorum’s name. It was a stroke of genius. There have been other, popular and grassroots renaming movements like the one that gave us “Quisling” but the swift revenge of Savage’s creation just leaves me joyful every time I think of it.

    aimai

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @efgoldman:

    Um, no, Mittster is NOT Douglas Niedermayer.

    Niedermayer actually went to Vietnam. He was killed by his own troops there.

    Mittster sat out his generation’s war as a Mormon missionary.

    In France.

  40. 40.

    Sock Puppet of the Great Satan

    Speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.) and Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) were put a broom closet, and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”

    Funny thing is that the Castro has been colonized by breeders moving west from Noe Valley and is much less exclusively gay than it used to be: you see a lot of strollers for both straight and gay families these days. It also turns out the public schools in that neighborhood are rather good.

  42. 42.

    Dervin

    Oh, come on, can we talk about Ron Paul’s attempted kidnapping?
    The two shots were horrifying, then hilarious when RON PAUL walked out of the van unscathed. That one bit pretty much explained the GOP’s view of the threatening and resiliency of his message.

  47. 47.

    Paul in KY

    @Certified Mutant Enemy: I don’t think Bachmann is stupid. She is acting, in a way. She does have some crazy beliefs, but I think she is cynically riding the fundamentalist wave.

    She was a freaking tax lawyer for awhile.

  49. 49.

    Paul in KY

    @Comrade Javamanphil: Had to google that one. I’m from that era & can just barely remember her. ‘Bewitched’ was not my favorite show. Didn’t hate it, but I was a little kid then & didn’t watch much TV beyond cartoons.

  50. 50.

    cckids

    @Paul in KY:

    Michelle Bachmann is Mrs. Coulter from ‘The Golden Compass’ (book version, not movie)

    Oh, hell no. Marisa Coulter was pure evil, but she was smart. Bachmann is much more like Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Cunning, but dim & unable to foresee the consequences of her actions. Enjoys hurting the ‘wrong sort’ of people & thinks it is for their own good.

  51. 51.

    Paul in KY

    @cckids: She ain’t smart enough to stop a little girl & a drunk bear from fucking up all her & the Magisterium’s plans.

    Delores Umbridge is a fine analogy though.

  52. 52.

    Triassic Sands

    …and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”

    I guess it was too expensive to put him where he really belongs…in another galaxy.

  53. 53.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    “Now, the next question is for candidate Rick Santorum. Congressman Santorum, if you were President and the country was involved in a crisis with Iran, would you break down and start whining if they made a gay joke about you?”

  54. 54.

    SFAW

    Marisa Coulter was pure evil, but she was smart.

    Yeah, but she kinda-sorta-maybe redeems herself at the end of the series. Ya know, after she’s wrought death and destruction on far too many people. Of course, maybe Philip Pullman was thinking of mAnn Coulter when he named the character. Although the likelihood of mAnn ever realizing how fucked up s/he is, is approaching zero at a high rate of speed.

    The Umbridge analogy is spot-on.

    … if you were President and the country was involved in a crisis with Iran, would you break down and start whining if they made a gay joke about you?”

    A line like that is one of the reasons I still slog through this site. Well, actually, this whole string is chock full o’ win.

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