Rick Santorum is accusing Saturday Night Live of “bullying” after a debate skit where each candidate was seated based on their chances of winning the nomination:
Actors playing contenders Herman Cain and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney were seated at the table, while Texas Gov. Rick Perry was placed in the corner of the set, Rep. Ron Paul (Texas) was banished to a parking garage, former Speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.) and Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) were put a broom closet, and Santorum in “a crowded gay bar in the Castro district of San Francisco.”
Although Santorum, played by Andy Samberg, had only a limited roll in the sketch, he was portrayed as upset and uncomfortable.
I’m sure Rick will feel better after he watches a few videos on YouTube.
(via OTB)
SiubhanDuinne
Wonderful thread title, mistermix.
Ash Can
“Saturday Night Live is bullying me into being gay.”
dr. bloor
Tag is FTW.
BigHank53
Sniveling never got anybody elected to anything, Rick.
Donald G
Like most bullies, Santorum can dish it out, but certainly can’t take it.
Ash Can
Not entirely OT, CNN will be co-hosting a GOP debate focusing on foreign policy next month (h/t TPM). The jokes write themselves.
Comrade Javamanphil
Santorum is the Frank Burns of politics.
Yevgraf
When Dick Santorum (great gay porn name, BTW) was a kid in high school and his friends would go to cruise parks to beat on gays, he was the sniveling creep in the back of the group, vaguely uncomfortable, following the crowd, yet getting a little excited, if you know what I mean.
The dude’s whole oeuvre screams “closet case”.
Carrie
@Comrade Javamanphil:
If there was a like button here, i would click it.
hells littlest angel
Poor Ricky. Depicted in a comedy sketch as being in a gay bar seated between TWO gay men. It’s worse than bullying. He’s like a heterosexual Matthew Shepard, except that Rick didn’t provoke his attackers.
rob!
had only a limited roll
I guess that’s when you only put butter on part of Santorum. Probably the thighs.
boss bitch
@Ash Can:
Something tells me a member of the Cheney clan might be there.
jayjaybear
Republicans are really sniveling whiners inside, aren’t they? They want the best of both worlds: “I should be able to say anything and not get any blowback about it, dammit!”
Sorry, no. When you run your mouth off about ridiculous things like marriage equality being like marrying your dog and say vile things about an entire minority, and you do this without being aware of just how much the social milieu has changed in the mainstream, it’s like spitting into the wind. You’re going to get slimed with your own muck, and it’s nobody’s fault but your own.
LosGatosCA
Santorum is outraged because he NEVER acts that way when he’s in a gay bar. He’s actually very comfortable in a gay bar. Make that extremely comfortable in a gay bar. In fact, he might even say its his milieu, except he never uses unAmerican, non-purebred English words. And that’s what makes it all so galling to him.
http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/
The names have been changed to protect the Santorum.
Mark B.
Well now that Cain has staked out the electrified fence and moat filled with alligators solutions for immigration reform, where can the rest of the candidates go? Fricking sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their frickin’ heads? I guess, other than antipersonnel mines at the border, that may be about as far as you can go.
amk
Rethugs are proving the meme ‘you can’t make this up’ wrong.
cleek
@Ash Can:
just the concept of ‘policy’ seems foreign to the current GOP
dmsilev
@Ash Can:
“No brown people crossing the border. Obama sucks. Bomb bomb bomb Iran. Obama sucks. Destroy the UN. Obama sucks. China is somehow bad. Obama sucks.”
Did I miss anything?
jrg
You might be a republican if joking about shooting people sneaking into the country illegally is teh lulz, but SNL skits about the GOP presidential field are deeply hurtful and offensive.
Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937
Poor Ricky. Hang in there. It really does get better. Okay, in your case I don’t see how it could but you’re good at deceiving yourself to believe anything.
geg6
BEST THREAD TITLE EVAH!
Paul in KY
@hells littlest angel: I don’t think Mathew Sheppard ‘provoked’ his attackers into gruesomely beating him to death. That is, if you were implying he did.
catclub
@dmsilev: Yep, you forgot:
Iraq never happened. Also, Castro is the biggest threat evar,
and We did _too_ win Vietnam.
Paul in KY
@efgoldman: Ron Paul is Mr Magoo.
quannlace
Man, what delicate hot-house flowers we have running for office! Guess that whole Google thing has left him permanently overwrought.
maya
@efgoldman:
This is who he is exactly like.
Shouldn’t Ricky Right be in Syria now poking around for those WMDs that he just KNEW were shipped there by Saddam instead of wasting his time running for something he’ll never be?
Yevgraf
Neither is correct – he’s George Jefferson’s brother. The guy with the cigar.
I get him as more of an amoral enabler as opposed to an overt evil. Think more like James Cromwell as President in the movie version of “Clear and Present Danger”.
Steiger’s character was actually capable of some insight despite his culturally inflicted prejudices and upbringing. Perry possesses none of those qualities, and is far more akin to the local sheriff in “Billy Jack”.
Now that this is settled, does everybody agree that Huckabee is absolutely, totally and completely Flounder from “Animal House”?
Paul in KY
@Paul in KY: Michelle Bachmann is Mrs. Coulter from ‘The Golden Compass’ (book version, not movie).
Librarian
Letterman did the same joke, although he put Santorum out in the parking lot.
Paul in KY
@Yevgraf: No, not Flounder. That guy had compassion & pathos. Huckabee has none of that. Huckabee is more Elmer Gantry or the Music Dude that cons the town into forming a huge brass band (lookswise, of course, he is not at all like the men who portrayed those characters).
eemom
dunno, it seems to me that anyone with two firing neurons to rub together, having borne the brunt of a perfectly targeted joke, would leave bad enough alone and not, like, call MORE attention to such joke.
There is no bottom to depths of loserdom that is “Man on Dog” Santorum.
aimai
I really have to applaud Dan Savage for his ingenuity in weaponizing Santorum’s name. It was a stroke of genius. There have been other, popular and grassroots renaming movements like the one that gave us “Quisling” but the swift revenge of Savage’s creation just leaves me joyful every time I think of it.
aimai
Villago Delenda Est
@Comrade Javamanphil:
Old Ferret Face?
Villago Delenda Est
@efgoldman:
Um, no, Mittster is NOT Douglas Niedermayer.
Niedermayer actually went to Vietnam. He was killed by his own troops there.
Mittster sat out his generation’s war as a Mormon missionary.
In France.
Paul in KY
@Villago Delenda Est: I think the Mittster is closer to the Greg Marmalade character.
mellowjohn
@efgoldman: fred sanford.
Yevgraf
@Villago Delenda Est:
As did Jane Fonda, as I’ve become fond of pointing out….
Villago Delenda Est
@Paul in KY:
The parking scene IS the Mittster.
Paul in KY
@Villago Delenda Est: That’s what I was thinking when I wrote that! Hee, hee!
Sock Puppet of the Great Satan
Funny thing is that the Castro has been colonized by breeders moving west from Noe Valley and is much less exclusively gay than it used to be: you see a lot of strollers for both straight and gay families these days. It also turns out the public schools in that neighborhood are rather good.
hells littlest angel
@Paul in KY (#25): I was (tastelessly, in hindsight) joking.
Dervin
Oh, come on, can we talk about Ron Paul’s attempted kidnapping?
The two shots were horrifying, then hilarious when RON PAUL walked out of the van unscathed. That one bit pretty much explained the GOP’s view of the threatening and resiliency of his message.
Paul in KY
@hells littlest angel: No prob. Thanks for explaining.
jibeaux
Funniness
Certified Mutant Enemy
@Paul in KY:
Except Coulter was intelligent…
Certified Mutant Enemy
@Villago Delenda Est:
Mittster sat out his generation’s war as a Mormon missionary.
In France.
Also:
His father wan NOT born in the USA.
His grandfather was a polygamist.
All of which would be liabilities for a Democratic candidate, but IOKIYAR.
Paul in KY
@Certified Mutant Enemy: I don’t think Bachmann is stupid. She is acting, in a way. She does have some crazy beliefs, but I think she is cynically riding the fundamentalist wave.
She was a freaking tax lawyer for awhile.
Comrade Javamanphil
@Paul in KY: After the bush hiding incident, I always pictured her as Gladys Kravitz.
Paul in KY
@Comrade Javamanphil: Had to google that one. I’m from that era & can just barely remember her. ‘Bewitched’ was not my favorite show. Didn’t hate it, but I was a little kid then & didn’t watch much TV beyond cartoons.
cckids
@Paul in KY:
Oh, hell no. Marisa Coulter was pure evil, but she was smart. Bachmann is much more like Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Cunning, but dim & unable to foresee the consequences of her actions. Enjoys hurting the ‘wrong sort’ of people & thinks it is for their own good.
Paul in KY
@cckids: She ain’t smart enough to stop a little girl & a drunk bear from fucking up all her & the Magisterium’s plans.
Delores Umbridge is a fine analogy though.
Triassic Sands
I guess it was too expensive to put him where he really belongs…in another galaxy.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
“Now, the next question is for candidate Rick Santorum. Congressman Santorum, if you were President and the country was involved in a crisis with Iran, would you break down and start whining if they made a gay joke about you?”
SFAW
Yeah, but she kinda-sorta-maybe redeems herself at the end of the series. Ya know, after she’s wrought death and destruction on far too many people. Of course, maybe Philip Pullman was thinking of mAnn Coulter when he named the character. Although the likelihood of mAnn ever realizing how fucked up s/he is, is approaching zero at a high rate of speed.
The Umbridge analogy is spot-on.
A line like that is one of the reasons I still slog through this site. Well, actually, this whole string is chock full o’ win.