Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you’re looking for someone who’s young and athletic, go watch a fucking movie.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

Maybe you would prefer that we take Joelle’s side in ALL CAPS?

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Second rate reporter says what?

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

You are here: Home / Failing Up

Failing Up

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I got nothing:

Former Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina may have not have been able to run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination after his 2009 cheating scandal, but he will at least get to talk about the campaign on national television – as a paid contributor on Fox News, the Caucus has learned.

A network spokeswoman confirmed that Mr. Sanford, once considered a potential Republican presidential contender, has signed on with the network. While he is certain to appear prominently at the debate Fox News is holding in South Carolina in January, he will appear well before that and will stay on with Fox even beyond the general election.

What is the likelihood that Anthony Weiner will one day a paid contributor to one of our “liberal” media networks?

Reader Interactions

236Comments

  1. 1.

    Exurban Mom

    Oh, I’ve been figuring that any day now, someone is going to hire Anthony Weiner for an on-camera gig. Smart money would probably go with Current TV: they have more to gain than lose from the controversy such a hire would raise.

  5. 5.

    Jay in Oregon

    Well, we have to counteract that durned liberal media bias somehow.

    I wonder how well it would go over if every guest asked him about his time “hiking the Appalachian Trail”…

  8. 8.

    Mike Goetz

    I have no doubt that Weiner will wind up as a paid contributor somewhere. He has no other marketable skills and he is good on tv.

  9. 9.

    BGinCHI

    @Omnes Omnibus: Had a great meal at La Merenda in Milwaukee last weekend. Plus good wine list and gentle pricing.

    Then Woodman’s on the way home. Gotta get that New Glarus….

  11. 11.

    Mike Goetz

    Plus, I’m not sure Fox News contributor counts as “failing up”. It’s sort of the final slushpile for washouts and never-were’s.

  12. 12.

    Boudica

    I posted this on the open thread, but it’s dead.

    Speaking of worthless on-air pundits:

    This is in my town. I don’t think I can drive by it every day. Help! I can’t believe I might run into Glenn Beck on the street or in a store. I don’t think I could be civil….

  13. 13.

    Jade Jordan

    John Cole have you abandoned your EERS. They are playing now and you haven’t mentioned them.

  18. 18.

    beltane

    @Mike Goetz: Yes, Fox is hardly a stepping stone to bigger and better things. More like the graveyard of political aspirations, albeit one which comes with a hefty paycheck.

    Maybe Mark Sanford will be filling in some of the space left over when Sarah whatshername’s balloon finally deflated.

  19. 19.

    Violet

    Weiner gives good talk. He’ll get a TV gig eventually. Just has to go through a purgatory period and then he can be rehabbed. I agree with the Current TV suggestion. The controversy would bring eyeballs.

  21. 21.

    The Dangerman

    Sanford just cheated on his wife and lied about it; not all that unusual in the overall scheme of things.

    Weiner took pictures of his pride and joy and sent it to random women; quite a bit more unusual (or so I would hope, so help me Brett Farve).

  24. 24.

    cmorenc

    @John Cole:

    What is the likelihood that Anthony Weiner will one day a paid contributor to one of our “liberal” media networks?

    …when Weiner starts showing his weiner to Argentenian women on the Appalachian trail, that’s when.

  25. 25.

    hhex65

    Count me amongst they who think Anthony Weiner might get a call from TV; he’s young, urbane and familiar with the workings of social media.

  26. 26.

    Spaghetti Lee

    If you manage to get yourself victimized by The Liberals, you’re damn near set for life. Even if Fox cuts him loose one day, he’ll just write a book or do talk radio in South Carolina or something. But wingnuts treat the victims of liberal bias (read: victims of their own fuckuppery) like Christians treat martyred saints.

  27. 27.

    Nevgu

    You are right about one thing. You got nothing. Anything to distract from Libya eh Wrong Again Cole?!

    And why am I not surprised you supported the Iraq war. LOL! That’s just so funny….bahahahahahah!

  29. 29.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Omnes Omnibus: Ooh, let me do that instead. Not that I’d want to take my chances with a TX jury. OT – I answered you in the music thread (and killed it dead).

    Also OT, mistermix put my little nonprofit in the Friday Pimpcast (many thanks). We did have a tough time with our fall fundraiser – the road got closed so we probably lost half our potential donors and thus need to try to recoup online.

    I vote for the young and urbane twittermonster to go on and get a gig. Easy for me to say, since I don’t watch any of it.

  30. 30.

    Jewish Steel

    Oh, I don’t know if it’s failing upward to go to a position of real power to talking about others who still do.

  31. 31.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Boudica: All you need is one sane person to get a hung jury. Oh, Texas… I see your problem. Shoot ‘im in the junk with your six shooter. That can’t be a crime there.

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Which music thread? And, as far as I am concerned, Beck can get junk punched as many times as there are grains of sand on a beach.

  36. 36.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Omnes Omnibus: And satrs in the sky, for good measure. The Song of the Week “music” thread. My response was kind of an inside joke, I think. Though I expect Doug J to get it if he sees it. And you of course.

    @Three-nineteen: There’s that, but remember that he wasn’t charged, oddly enough.

  42. 42.

    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy)

    @beltane:

    Maybe Mark Sanford will be filling in some of the space left over when Sarah whatshername’s balloon finally deflated.

    Two words for you: Nikki Haley. The woman is MADE for Fox punditry. As a South Carolina resident, I wish they’d hire her tomorrow. Except she probably wouldn’t quit the governor’s job to do it. I don’t know why Kasich bothered.

    Sanford’s an odd fucking dude. He’ll be GREAT on Fox.

  47. 47.

    MonkeyBoy

    @Boudica:

    This is in my town. I don’t think I can drive by it every day. Help! I can’t believe I might run into Glenn Beck on the street or in a store. I don’t think I could be civil….

    I really hate newspaper sites like the Star-Telegram link you gave. I have no idea where it is located much less where “Southlake” is. And all the header information on that page gives no clue. Navigate to the home page there and there is still no clue however after reading some local headlines it appears to be in Texas. Finally resort to Google and you can find out that it is located in Fort Worth which at least I recognize.

    Over and over again I have followed links to newspaper sites that even when they are in butfuck flyover assume they everybody knows them so they don’t need to say where they are located.

  49. 49.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    Can’t wait for the inevitable moment in the debate when Sanford asks Gingrich about protecting marriage.

  54. 54.

    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy)

    @Little Boots: After “The Lion and the Cobra?” Nothing except tearing up pictures of the Pope and pissing off Sinatra.

  60. 60.

    Little Boots

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    that’s what I’m on about.

    and I don’t even know why I care, especially now, tonight, but she could sing, and I think she got a raw deal.

    so walker? no, stop it, I don’t want to get you in trouble.

  61. 61.

    some guy

    Weiner’s gig on HaaretzTV will be what finally brings that outlet into the regular cable TV lineup.

    mark my words

  63. 63.

    some guy

    I still think Weiner’s meltdown at that townhall in Crooklyn (see Mondoweiss) is my favorite3 moment of American Political Puppet Theatre.

  66. 66.

    amk

    So yet another adulterous pinhead pol is recruited by pox news. bfd.

    Fraudulent Defense Contractors Paid $1 Trillion

    “The report detailed how the Pentagon paid $573.7 billion during the past 10 years to more than 300 contractors involved in civil fraud cases that resulted in judgments of more than $1 million, $398 billion of which was awarded after settlement or judgment for fraud. When awards to “parent” companies are counted, the Pentagon paid more than $1.1 trillion during the past 10 years just to the 37 top companies engaged in fraud.

    Another $255 million went to 54 contractors convicted of hard-core criminal fraud in the same period. Of that total, $33 million was paid to companies after they were convicted of crimes.

    Some of the nation’s biggest defense contractors were involved.

    For example, Lockheed Martin in 2008 paid $10.5 million to settle charges that it defrauded the government by submitting false invoices on a multi-billion dollar contract connected to the Titan IV space launch vehicle program. That didn’t seem to sour the relationship between Lockheed and the Defense Department, which gave Lockheed $30.2 billion in contracts in fiscal year 2009, more than ever before.”

  68. 68.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Ever since that utterly incompetent legal hack, Marcia Clark, got a gig as a special commentator on legal issues on CNN after losing the final trial of the 20th Century through sheer incompetence and more attention to her fucking hair than the evidence, it’s been all downhill.

    Cripes, another legal hack, this one ethically and morally challenged along with questionable competence, the excreable Nancy Grace, has a show on Headline News (where Glenn Beck used to have a show) has been on the air quite some time. CNN is an utter cesspool. Just look at one of their stars, Leslie Blitzer, who disregarded his own expert guests to continue to speculate that the balloon boy was floating above Denver someplace…

  70. 70.

    eemom

    Spitzer got a gig!! Spitzer got a gig!! Anyone mention that yet?!?

    Srsly. I mean I know we’re all a bunch of life-challenged losers, but surely we can do a LITTLE better than this on Friday night.

  72. 72.

    piratedan

    @amk: dammit man, that PALES in comparison with those black panther people intimidating people on street corners! I’m sure they’re linked to welfare cheats that are defrauding the government out of HUNDREDS of dollars each month! It shall not stand sir! Not to mention that they’re having babies and possibly even abortions, also too!

  74. 74.

    amk

    @piratedan: It’s high time ows started rattling the cages of the real villains – the congress critters & their lobbyist pals and their lying and misleading media enablers.

  75. 75.

    piratedan

    @Omnes Omnibus: month after month, causing a relentless drag on our economy! That’s what this country needs, more regulation of social services! It’s obvious that you can’t trust these people else they will just take advantage of the system.

  79. 79.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    This, this, this.

    Dereliction of duty was his true crime (and could have been easily avoided, if only he’d told SOMEONE “hey, I’m going to be hiking the trails over the weekend, mind the store, won’t you”?), but the airheaded gits of the MSM were too busy thinking about the booty the twit was getting.

  86. 86.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    There’s only one thing I’m not clear about: Did Eliot Spitzer get a gig on CNN?

    By the way while it’s sort of a fair point, there is a difference you all realize, right? Not on the side of whether scandal should have disqualified someone from having a cable show, but on the side of whether there was anything interesting enough about the person to warrant such a thing.

    I can’t think of anything remotely interesting or newsworthy about Mark Sanford except the scandal. Not so with Eliot Spitzer, he was controversial and muck-raking and governor of one of the largest and arguably the most important state in the country before any scandal happened. And he’s been fairly interesting on TV as a result. For Sanford, scandal is virtually the only reason anyone knows who he is. But hey, that’s enough for FOX.

    Fox News: Give us your fired, your poor of judgment, your puddles of sanctimonious hypocrisy…

  89. 89.

    handy

    At the bottom right now I see a Herman Cain ad with the headline “Let’s Take This Nation Back.” Back where, that’s what I wanna know. Anyway, under this is a nice inviting tag “Click Here For More Information” and naturally I did, cuz I want me some more information about where (and when?) Mr. Cain wants take America back to.

    It’s a donation page. And not even a decent one it looks like it was whipped up in 10 minutes using some web templating app. So disappointing.

  92. 92.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @handy: So you the additional information they want to give you is taking your credit card number? How odd. Or not.

  95. 95.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @handy: There was this great song during the 2004 election…. oh I found it, amazing.

    I liked it so much I wrote to the guys who wrote and produced it. I told them it reminded me of how much I liked really good country music, hard core, Merle Haggard style, which was timely since I was in danger of drifting into the mindset of wanting to write off certain portions of the country entirely. It had a double meaning for me, taking my “country”, as in music, back, from the ultra right wing yahoos.

    The bridge is particularly great.

  118. 118.

    Yutsano

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I filed my divorce paperwork today.

    Understood.

    I also got a triple paper cut.

    Watch for lemons.

    I get to drink.

    I have Laphroaig and it’s Friday and I’m sober. I r doing something wrong.

  122. 122.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @piratedan: Brill. Totes brill.

    @Little Boots: Midnight is the song from that album. Problem is that I have never found a great version on YouTube. Alison Moyet is stunningly talented. Vince has his moments too.

    ETA: I found a version of Midnight.

  123. 123.

    Jewish Steel

    Omnes: dee eye vee oh ar see ee, huh? Well, mazel tov, old bean. I felt quite liberated when it was all said and done.

  124. 124.

    piratedan

    @Omnes Omnibus: glad I could send you some good musical vibes… I figured Burnsie would be all over that fleshtones track I referenced up above

    oh and if you’re a Nick Lowe fan, GQ is featuring a series of interviews with what they call “the survivors” people that have been thru the music machine and have somehow come out the other side, soul intact. Lowe’s piece should be available on the 26th

  125. 125.

    handy

    @piratedan:

    Somebody else (or maybe it was you piratedan) linked a Nick Lowe video not too long ago. Glad to see his work is appreciated in some parts.

  127. 127.

    Nevgu

    The DOW is almost back up to 12000. Why no breathless spittle spray headlines from Wrong Again Cole how the stock market is on a tear? Why does Wrong Again Cole and the rest of his typing monkeys only get excited when things seem to be getting worse and then nothing but crickets with they seem to be getting better?

    Cole and this worthless blog. Just more of the same old worthless background noise of a bunch of chicken littles running around looking to find something negative to talk about.

  130. 130.

    piratedan

    @handy: aye it was most likely me, I’m a big fan, but I try not to rag on other folks for their musical tastes, we all have different vibes that move us from various parts of our lives, so I just do what I can to promote the folks that I do like.

  133. 133.

    burnspbesq

    @piratedan:

    I will be momentarily.

    Posting YouTube links from iPad is difficult. The theme for tonight appears to be jangly guitars.. Go to YouTube, and search for “Phil Seymour Let Her Dance.” then search on “Raspberries I Wanna Be with You.”

  139. 139.

    handy

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    “More reverb.” Probably the most heard phrase from the lips of studio album producers in the 80s. Runner up would probably be, “Hey this sounds like a good spot to drop that handclap thingy.”

  141. 141.

    Nevgu

    @Omnes Omnibus: Omnes, why not just admit you dream of taking warm showers with me. Anyone who follow every single post I make with such interest has got to have some kind of obsession the likes of which are only reserved for movie and rock stars. Get some help.

  144. 144.

    burnspbesq

    Not to mention the greatest jangly-guitar song of all time:

    Oh I’m going out,
    I’m going out looking for a cynical girl,
    Who has no use for the real world,
    I’m looking for a cynical girl.

  145. 145.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Nevgu: I enjoy cold showers and steel wool massages, so you are probably right. Oh, wait, none of that is true.

  146. 146.

    Admiral_Komack

    “Former Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina may have not have been able to run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination after his 2009 cheating scandal, but he will at least get to talk about the campaign on national television – as a paid contributor on Fox News, the Caucus has learned.”

    “Well, Sean, let me show you how I did Argentina, using these two shitting pigs as props.”

  149. 149.

    piratedan

    @burnspbesq: oooo, so you’re gonna drop the Crenshaw hammmer eh? I have to admit, I got all his stuff and it has aged incredibly well, hell, I think I still have Miracle of Science in the cd player in the car!

  152. 152.

    Nevgu

    @Yutsano: No sheit sherlock. But you would never know that reading Wrong Again Coles posts when it is going down. Like this one.
    https://balloon-juice.com/2011/08/04/a-feature-not-a-bug/#comment-2708585

    Of course I should not have to remind you that the main stream media does the same thing. Plenty of examples of BS factories like Fluffington Poo doing this all the time as well.

    Having said all that, over the longer term, the stock market actually IS representative of the health and size of the economy. And the long term is the ONLY thing that should EVER be used when reading the tea leaves of the stock market. Whether it’s down or up. But I know I am just wasting my breath. The next time there is a one day fall because of [insert BJ issue of the day], the next day Wrong Again Cole will be on here saying “see, look at what the stock market did yesterday, this proves we are doomed”

    Just gotta shake my head at the utter stupidity of it. I don’t know how people like Wrong Again Cole manage to wipe their arses in the morning without getting poo on their hands. They just don’t seem to have the intellectual capacity to get something as simple as that right much less survive day to day.

  154. 154.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    running around looking to find something negative to talk about.

    I can’t figure out what kind of troll this is. Are people supposed to think it’s morning in America and nothing is negative because Leader Obama can do no wrong (in which case er, you’re complaining to the wrong blog, I promise you) or that everything is rosy because as long as the rich get richer who cares about massive unemployment and no health care and depression and so on (and again, is this because of Republicans or Bush or something?)

    Or am I looking for coherence where none exists?

  159. 159.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Nevgu: I see. Do you understand that if the stock market going higher is the only thing positive you can point to as proof that austerity is working, when everything else is collapsed, then when it collapses too that pretty much ruins your whole argument?

    No, of course you don’t.

  162. 162.

    Nevgu

    @Little Boots: Of course the unemployment rate matters silly. But only when it is going up which should be obvious.

    When it is going down:
    a) ignore it and find some other shiny object to distract with
    b) pretend it does not matter because it is temporary, inaccurate, still not enough yada yada blah blah.

    c) crickets

  164. 164.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @handy: Oh it’s a spoof? I guess I should read more posts going back in time but I’m far too lazy to do that. Even so I can’t get a fix on what it’s spoofing, but that’s probably me and not enough caffeine yet.

  165. 165.

    Yutsano

    @Nevgu: You realized in that hundred plus word screed you said virtually nothing beyond.”WHY WON’T JOHN COLE FUCK ME??” Jealousy is an ugly emotion dude.

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Three attempts at fixing the link and all I can say is FYWP

    This cannot be said enough.

  166. 166.

    burnspbesq

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    “Or am I looking for coherence where none exists?”

    Bingo, sort of. It’s Friday night, and people want to escape for a while. Is that so terrible?

  167. 167.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Bill E Pilgrim: He is a simple “I think John Cole is wrong” troll. Weirdly, there apparently is a living to be made in this. People should look into it.

  172. 172.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Omnes Omnibus: Fascinating. Said Spock-like. That’s certainly what it looks like.

    @burnspbesq: It’s 8:30 Saturday morning here. But I wasn’t complaining about the escapism, if you mean the music, that part’s fun.

  174. 174.

    piratedan

    @handy: aye, that set of Poptopia albums/cd’s from the 70’s and 80’s are incredible, chock full of stuff that seems to effortlessly push away the troubles of the day

  175. 175.

    Little Boots

    @piratedan:

    that’s awesome. I know I’ve seen that show, I used to watch it, but I cannot for the life of me remember an actual episode, except now these ones, sort of. and I love the songs.

  198. 198.

    Nevgu

    @Yutsano: Your freudian slip is showning.

    Hey Cole. You and Yutsano. Sounds like a hot date to me. I’m sure it would be a very santorum producing experience.

  205. 205.

    Spaghetti Lee

    Hey nevgu, you’re a stupid fuck, you know that? Who gives a fuck if the stock market is up? Doesn’t mean fucking shit to real people out there looking for jobs. You’re a pretty pathetic fucking asshole, you know that? You fucking concern trolls are all the same. Go piss off, you dick. And respond with whatever dumbassed shit-fart response you like, I’m going to bed and I’ll be gone tomorrow, so I won’t have to read it.

    SpagLee +whatever.

  209. 209.

    Little Boots

    I suspect Nevgu just needs love.

    Nevgu, feel the love. post your favorite video. then we can talk about the stock market.

  214. 214.

    piratedan

    @Little Boots: tyvm for the kind words and am glad you dug the music. It’s a passion that I don’t get to exercise as often as I might. My wife’s tastes and those of my kids have very few points of intersection with my own.

  216. 216.

    Little Boots

    wait, did I totally just ask to be rickrolled? okay, fine.

    I might even have liked it a little.

  231. 231.

    hamletta

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Ha! He wrote that for the Dean campaign in Tennessee!

    My Dean peeps annoyed the shit out of the Clarkies with it at the annual TN Dems’ Labor Day Picnic. When I arrived at the crack of noon, as is my wont, they begged me to make them take it off eternal loop.

    But it’s a great song, isn’t it? I still have Dean T-shirts that say “Taking My Country Back” on the, well, back. When the Teabaggers appropriated it, I found it disturbing.

    Unlike Dean, they weren’t backing it up with support for unions, and gays, and health-care reformers, oh my!

  235. 235.

    Joel

    Fox is just reaching out to hispanics. Just wait until they hire Mark Foley as their gay issues correspondent.

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