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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Herman Cain is Everybody’s Sugar

Herman Cain is Everybody’s Sugar

by $8 blue check mistermix|  October 24, 20118:06 am| 73 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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The thing I like about Herman is that he always gets in line. This weekend, he spoke with CBN in an effort to clean up his pro-life and anti-gay bonafides:

David Brody: “Are you for some sort of pro-life amendment to the constitution that in essence would trump Roe v. Wade?”

Herman Cain: “Yes. Yes I feel that strongly about it. If we can get the necessary support and it comes to my desk I’ll sign it. That’s all I can do. I will sign it.”

Never mind that Presidents don’t sign constitutional amendments, let’s just remember that Herman is no longer squishy on this issue. Herman also came out for an amendment defending marriage from the gays, and he swore to use the bully pulpit on social issues.

Once again, I’m telling the skeptics that black walnut has legs, and he’s in it for the long haul.

Also, too: whatever Herman’s failings, he at least isn’t still birther-curious like Rick Perry.

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Reader Interactions

73Comments

  1. 1.

    SiubhanDuinne

    October 24, 2011 at 8:13 am

    Cain sugar? Very good.

  2. 2.

    RSA

    October 24, 2011 at 8:15 am

    Never mind that Presidents don’t sign constitutional amendments

    Cain is apparently running for King rather than President.

  3. 3.

    Mark S.

    October 24, 2011 at 8:15 am

    I doubt it. A couple more performances of apples and oranges and he’ll be back down there with Newt and Michele. The man’s simply too stupid to defend his own positions, many of which he doesn’t even understand.

  4. 4.

    amk

    October 24, 2011 at 8:15 am

    ‘herb’ – your finger is dry, you need to wet it again.

  5. 5.

    soonergrunt

    October 24, 2011 at 8:15 am

    Where does the term “black walnut” come from?
    I know you’re not a racist, mistermix, but it does have rather obvious racial connotations. And while making notice of Cain’s and Obama’s race is explicitly not racist, using it in a pejorative manner is.
    I don’t believe that’s your intent, but it makes me uncomfortable.

    @SiubhanDuinne: I just got that. LOL.

  6. 6.

    Rihilism

    October 24, 2011 at 8:16 am

    @soonergrunt: I believe Cain used it to describe himself…

  7. 7.

    Nevgu

    October 24, 2011 at 8:17 am

    You are one sad dillusional person mix. You still probably think Trump and Palin are gonna run too.

  8. 8.

    Alex S.

    October 24, 2011 at 8:18 am

    @soonergrunt:

    Sarah Palin called him ‘the flavor of the week’. His answer was that his flavor is ‘black walnut’.

  9. 9.

    soonergrunt

    October 24, 2011 at 8:18 am

    @Rihilism:
    @Alex S.: thanks!

  10. 10.

    Thomas

    October 24, 2011 at 8:24 am

    @Mark S.:
    I agree with that. The meet the press performance was proof he was only a marginal figure and not at all ready for prime time.

  11. 11.

    Rihilism

    October 24, 2011 at 8:25 am

    @soonergrunt: That it “Turns Out Herman Cain’s ‘Black Walnut’ Flavor Had A Limited Run” is somewhat amusing…

  12. 12.

    mistermix

    October 24, 2011 at 8:28 am

    @Rihilism: Thanks, I added a link to that to the post.

  13. 13.

    dmsilev

    October 24, 2011 at 8:30 am

    Also, too: whatever Herman’s failings, he at least isn’t still birther-curious like Rick Perry.

    So far, anyway.

  14. 14.

    ornery

    October 24, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Sure except, what does Sully think about this?

  15. 15.

    FlipYrWhig

    October 24, 2011 at 8:32 am

    @Alex S.: That was the only witty moment I’ve seen from Cain (and then of course he ran it into the ground). Other than that, he might as well be Sean Hannity.

  16. 16.

    amk

    October 24, 2011 at 8:33 am

    @ornery: why, is cain sully’s latest paul ryan ?

  17. 17.

    Elizabelle

    October 24, 2011 at 8:36 am

    Idly listened to his interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan last night.

    To the uninformed, he comes off as reasonable and smart. Low-key and an engaging manner of speaking.

    Suspect he’s quite reassuring to those who share his mindmap of what passes for reality.

    Would not underestimate Cain.

  18. 18.

    harlana

    October 24, 2011 at 8:37 am

    @soonergrunt: It’s not mistermix’s creation, Cain referred to himself as a Black Walnut Hagen Daas

  19. 19.

    4tehlulz

    October 24, 2011 at 8:37 am

    isn’t still birther-curious

    After saying Obama isn’t really black, do you think he wouldn’t go here?

  20. 20.

    mistermix

    October 24, 2011 at 8:38 am

    @dmsilev: Perhaps he’ll reveal his position during the Country Music Network Birther debate – two hours of font checking and paper analysis, scheduled for November.

  21. 21.

    The Raven

    October 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

    “Where are the jobs?” “How should I know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”

    I think it’s going to be Romney/Cain in 2012. God help us all.

  22. 22.

    RSA

    October 24, 2011 at 8:45 am

    Semi-OT: TPM has a collection of quotes from Pat Buchanan’s new book. Sample:

    Those who believe the rise to power of an Obama rainbow coalition of peoples of color means the whites who helped to engineer it will steer it are deluding themselves. The whites may discover what it is like to ride in the back of the bus.

    I like the assumptions: White people who support Obama believe they’ll be in charge, and there’s a risk of re-segregation, with the racial roles reversed. WTF?

  23. 23.

    4tehlulz

    October 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

    @RSA: I was surprised he didn’t say Jews. Pat really has mellowed in his old age.

  24. 24.

    arguingwithsignposts

    October 24, 2011 at 8:51 am

    @RSA: And yet the man continues as a commenter on MSNBC, because he’s really a great guy in person, or something.

  25. 25.

    Woodrowfan

    October 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Most people don’t know that the President neither signs nor can veto a Constitutional Amendment. But if you’re running for president that is one of many basics that you really should know.

  26. 26.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    October 24, 2011 at 8:54 am

    OT: An entire article about how strikes were getting called when the ball was out of the strike zone? Really, Cardinal fans?

  27. 27.

    Rick Taylor

    October 24, 2011 at 8:55 am

    If I remember correctly, didn’t Cain back off his criticisms of Perry about the rock and the gay soldier who was booed after Rush Limbaugh criticized him for them? Perhaps that’s the right thing to do if you want win the nomination; Perry didn’t do so well after he stuck to his principles and even accused opponents of in-state tuition for the children of illegal immigrants in his state “heartless.”

  28. 28.

    arguingwithsignposts

    October 24, 2011 at 8:58 am

    @Woodrowfan: Most likely, Cain was just falling back on his wingnut talking point training, because

    If we can get the necessary support and it comes to my desk I’ll sign it.

    is wingnutspeak for throwing a sop to the zealots while not intending to do a damned thing about it.

  29. 29.

    Hal

    October 24, 2011 at 8:59 am

    @RSA:

    I remember watching Buchanan at the RNC convention in 1992 and feeling like I was witnessing some Nazi Party speech. Why this hate-mongering troll gets so much coverage is beyond me.

  30. 30.

    Rihilism

    October 24, 2011 at 9:00 am

    @mistermix: Very much welcome.

    Personally, I hope Cain is the nominee so every absurd (and in some cases, downright cruel) utterance he’s shat upon the airwaves gets full play in political ads. Within the confines of the Repub primary, he won’t be criticized by the right-wing who lap up the crap he’s spews (for some sick reason the idea of the right-wing being heavy into scat play strikes me as hysterical).

    I believe it will lost learning opportunity if he fails to win the nomination. It would be interesting to see how his “made for Fox News” persona plays in a general. While “W” was an obvious partisan (and idiot), he wasn’t known to make many “made for political ads” statements and gaffes that made him come across as mean-spirited and cruel. While Cain’s antics may play well with rubes and morans who watch Fix News, I doubt that most Americans are into the whole, “If you ain’t rich, it’s yer own damn fault” school of political leadership. Even many of the ones who agree with the sentiment may think it untoward of a presidential candidate to say such things out loud.

    Then again, I’m never surprised by the uncharted depths of human cruelty, so perhaps a majority of our resident idiots will decide that Cain is just the daddy to give our collective behinds a good smack (oooh, I think I just made myself sick)….

  31. 31.

    Punchy

    October 24, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Not sure how the redneck racists that comprise most of the southern GOP support will cotton to a mouthy Negro. Or a pretty boy Mormon for that matter

  32. 32.

    Anya

    October 24, 2011 at 9:07 am

    @RSA:

    On the group UNITY: Journalists of Color, Inc. pushing for more diversity in journalism:

    Half a century after Martin Luther King envisioned a day when his children would be judged ‘not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character,’ journalists of color are demanding the hiring and promotion of journalists based on the color of their skin. Jim Crow is back. Only the color of the beneficiaries and the color of the victims have been reversed.

    This quote is even crazier. How does MSNBC keep this delusional racist, without losing all credibility? Is there some sort of a quota for racist old men they must fill? What’s his purpose at MSNBC anyway?

  33. 33.

    Chris

    October 24, 2011 at 9:10 am

    @RSA:

    I like the assumptions: White people who support Obama believe they’ll be in charge, and there’s a risk of re-segregation, with the racial roles reversed. WTF?

    Ever since support for tolerance became a political movement, there’s been assholes whining about the hypothetical potential for the future oppression of the people now doing the oppressing. Hence why the Civil Rights Act was decried as “enslaving white people.” Hence why towards the end of Reconstruction Congress decided that it was important not to “unfairly benefit” the blacks.

    Hence why today opposition to gay marriage is all about preventing gays from attacking straight people’s marriages, and supporting the rights of Muslims to practice their religion freely means you’re really supporting Sharia Law.

    They don’t feel like their own rights have any value unless they’re also denying them to somebody else.

  34. 34.

    handsmile

    October 24, 2011 at 9:11 am

    Mistermix:

    Once again, I’m telling the skeptics that black walnut has legs, and he’s in it for the long haul.

    As this is your second post on the subject in less than 24 hours (“Last Chance Texaco” was submitted on October 22 at 9:07am), I think it would be incumbent upon you to marshal some evidence for your assertion.

    In the earlier post, you yourself discounted Cain’s recent polling successes: “Cain is mainly surging in the polls because he’s the flavor of the month for a party that can’t stand Romney.”

    The other principal argument you advanced in “Last Chance Texaco” was the notion “something very strange goes on with the Tea Party and black candidates.” This claim was effectively blunted, even refuted, by many of the many than 100 commenters on the thread. (Again, you yourself noted that the local black candidate cited as proof of your conjecture did not make the ballot.)

    I am far more than a skeptic to the idea that Herman Cain is anything other than a political grifter. In the past 48 hours, has any evidence or even informed speculation emerged that the Cain campaign has undertaken wholesale structural changes (e.g., bolstering campaign staff, increased advertising, or travel by the candidate to key GOP primary states) that would indicate it is a credible national organization “in it for the long haul”? A single appearance on the Christian Broadcast Network would, I think, be insufficient.

  35. 35.

    xian

    October 24, 2011 at 9:12 am

    yeah, cuz I’m sure Buchanan just loves him some MLK.

  36. 36.

    jonas

    October 24, 2011 at 9:14 am

    @Hal: Hence Molly Ivins’ legendary quip that the speech would have “sounded better in the original German”.

  37. 37.

    prufrock

    October 24, 2011 at 9:14 am

    @Anya:

    What’s his purpose at MSNBC anyway?

    It must be ratings. Anytime a media company does something that would make a sane person gasp, assume that it provides some sort of ratings spike. This translates to advertising dollars.

    In other words, follow the money.

  38. 38.

    mark

    October 24, 2011 at 9:17 am

    mistermix,
    I currently reside in Macon, Georgia (hopefully, for only 2 more weeks) and have for the last year. There is NO WAY the rednecks will get out and vote for Romney or Cain. No way.

    And I work in the health care field where the racist catholic-mormon hating is kept to a minimum.

    You need to turn off the TV and get out more if you think either one of these liars have a chance in hell of winning POTUS

  39. 39.

    handsmile

    October 24, 2011 at 9:20 am

    @handsmile:

    Math and editing fail: the first paragraph of my comment #34 above should read “less than 48 hours.” What a moran.

  40. 40.

    Raven (formerly stuckinred)

    October 24, 2011 at 9:21 am

    @mark: my bride is a public health person in Athens and the attitude toward the “clients” in these backwater counties in unreal.

  41. 41.

    Rihilism

    October 24, 2011 at 9:22 am

    @handsmile:
    @mark:

    I may be mistaken, but I read Mistermix’s post with a great deal of tongue to cheek action…

  42. 42.

    mark

    October 24, 2011 at 9:25 am

    rihilism, I took “the black walnut has legs” to mean he is a contender. For the nomination as a VP maybe, but no way as a viable POTUS/VP candidate

  43. 43.

    mistermix

    October 24, 2011 at 9:27 am

    @Rihilism: Yes, I think it’s Romney in the end, coupled with a white southern Christian. But Herman is more fun than that dreary outcome, so this post.

  44. 44.

    AA+ Bonds

    October 24, 2011 at 9:29 am

    No lie: I’m allergic to black walnut

  45. 45.

    danimal

    October 24, 2011 at 9:29 am

    If Cain is in this for the long haul, then I have only one question: How much is Mitt paying him?

    He is not a serious candidate. Sadly, with the state of Republicans these days, he still has a chance to win the thing.

  46. 46.

    jonas

    October 24, 2011 at 9:29 am

    @Punchy: But he’s a black guy who basically tells them that their troglodyte opinions are not racist, so they love him. And when, on occasion, he steps up to condemn stuff like the “Ni**erhead” rock at Perry’s ranch, he quickly corrects course so as not to damage his credibility as a black guy racist rednecks can feel safe around.

  47. 47.

    Trurl

    October 24, 2011 at 9:33 am

    The next time BJ snarls at Firedoglake about “racism”, we’ll know exactly what it’s worth.

  48. 48.

    AA+ Bonds

    October 24, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Support for Herman Cain, to me, indicates a large chunk of Republicans in utter despair over their impending defeat.

    They feel it’s more important to play CYA on race and vote for someone with radical ideological purity than pursue the dwindling possibility of victory in 2012.

  49. 49.

    doofus

    October 24, 2011 at 9:36 am

    @mark: And yet Romney and Cain currently lead in the polling none-the-less. While I am willing to believe that Cain is indeed the current limited run Not-Romney flavor of the month, the primary season filing deadlines mean there ain’t gonna be no new flavors. They will either have to go back to a flavor they already tried (Perry most likely.) or stick with the flavors they got (Cain, Romney). Which way the Republicans go the next couple of months will be very informative.

  50. 50.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    October 24, 2011 at 9:39 am

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    However one feels about Cardinals, the local media are to the Cardinals what Fox “News” is to the GOP…

  51. 51.

    mistermix

    October 24, 2011 at 9:39 am

    @Trurl: Using Herman’s own nickname for himself is racist. Duly noted.

  52. 52.

    maya

    October 24, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Cain, sugar?! More likely cracker Koch-Cain.

  53. 53.

    Joey Maloney

    October 24, 2011 at 9:42 am

    @RSA: O.M.F.G.

    Does anyone remember the National Lampoon High School Yearbook Parody from the early 80s? It was Class of 1963 and it included student fiction from the school’s literary magazine wherein a very confused white person wakes up to a world where “wigger boys” are ordered to the back of the bus and such like.

    But that was a parody. Of high school students.

  54. 54.

    Amir Khalid

    October 24, 2011 at 9:42 am

    Herman Cain is just the President America needs — a man who doesn’t even have the courage of his (admittedly odd) convictions; who lets other people order him around; who seeks election to a public office without bothering to learn the extent and limits of its authority, or to put together and lead a proper campaign organization. Truly, he has every sign of a great leader.

  55. 55.

    handsmile

    October 24, 2011 at 9:43 am

    @mistermix: (#43)

    Ah, so it’s merely an exercise in comment-churning. That’s unfortunate. But I’ll keep it in mind for the future.

  56. 56.

    pk

    October 24, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Also, too: whatever Herman’s failings, he at least isn’t still birther-curious like Rick Perry.

    Oh please!! Just give it time. Funny how everyone calls Mitt Romney a flip-flopper and a panderer. This guy says whatever anyone wants to hear. One day he thinks abortion is a personal choice, next day it should be banned, one day the plan is 999, next day it’s 909, one day he won’t hire muslims, next day he never said it. Slimy, gutless, scum (ie typical GOP candidate). I give it a few weeks before he claims the birth certificate is fake.

  57. 57.

    Chris

    October 24, 2011 at 9:45 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    Maybe not. But just like Palin was every wingnut’s dream of what a woman should be, Cain is their dream of how a black man should act. Which was the whole point of the exercise.

  58. 58.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    October 24, 2011 at 9:45 am

    @Trurl: You were supposed to enter those words in your Mad Lib book, not in your browser. Or was this just your generate-random-hate-message applciation’s output this morning?

  59. 59.

    cleek

    October 24, 2011 at 9:48 am

    black walnut has legs, and he’s in it for the long haul.

    yup

  60. 60.

    soonergrunt

    October 24, 2011 at 9:48 am

    @Trurl:Not that mistermix needs or wants defending–As has been pointed out in response to my question–you can read it upthread, it’s Cain own name for himself.
    Just as calling teabaggers by the name they chose for themselves is completely appropriate, so too is this.
    Nice try though, fuckwit.

  61. 61.

    Chyron HR

    October 24, 2011 at 9:50 am

    @Trurl:

    Boy, it really kills you guys to be accused of racism just because you have the courage to call the President a “ni**er”.

    Rush feels your pain, I’m sure.

  62. 62.

    Anya

    October 24, 2011 at 9:56 am

    @prufrock: They’re losing more in terms of credibility and moral stand. Although maybe we shouldn’t expect from a corporation any moral standing.

  63. 63.

    Mino

    October 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

    I am approaching the conclusion that strategic Republican party men don’t want to win the presidency this cycle. Give Obama another four years and the economy may well have recovered. The Tea Party may well have burned out. Just in time for the heavy hitters to stage a comeback and restart the rollercoaster.

    Of course, they still will run a candidate to do as much harm as possible, but their hearts aren’t in it. Things are a little too dicey right now for them to want a Republican wackjob in charge.

  64. 64.

    pk

    October 24, 2011 at 9:59 am

    My 14 yr looked at the parade magazine lying on the table and asked “is this guy an underwear model?”. My response “no he’s Rick Perry, GOP candidate and our possible future president. She: “Well he looks like an underwear model.” From George Washington to underwear models and black walnuts.

  65. 65.

    Ben Cisco

    October 24, 2011 at 10:00 am

    @Elizabelle:

    To the uninformed, he comes off as reasonable and smart. Low-key and an engaging manner of speaking.

    This exactly PLUS he kneels at the altar of Limbaugh. Make no mistake about it – he may be a grifter whose book tour got out of hand, but he will gladly serve the NeoConfederacy.

  66. 66.

    timb

    October 24, 2011 at 10:01 am

    You guys realize that to win a nomination for national office you need a ground game and support from local politicians, etc. National media and frothy rhetorical bj’s from Rush and Sean don’t get you a nomination (See McCain 2008 or McCain 2000 or any of the 12 morons who lost to Dole in ’96).

    Cain is a distraction who has no money and no organization and was running for President to help his book sales. While I admit, his sheer nuttiness is entertaining, he will not be able to compete with Perry and Romney come Super Tuesday (or Nevada for that matter)

  67. 67.

    Ben Cisco

    October 24, 2011 at 10:02 am

    @RSA:

    I like the assumptions: White people who support Obama believe they’ll be in charge, and there’s a risk of re-segregation, with the racial roles reversed. WTF?

    Classic projection from one of the masters (heh) of it. This really sums up all you need to know about GOTP politics – if they are accusing Dems of it, it’s because they’d do that exact thing (and will if they get a chance).

  68. 68.

    Amir Khalid

    October 24, 2011 at 10:13 am

    @Mino:
    This theory has seemed more than plausible for quite a while. But all depends on whether the Teabaggers will be exhausted enough by then, from failure as candidates and/or legislators, to yield to the traditional elite. If the Teabaggers just get more petulant and dig in, the party could face a long time in the wilderness.

    Assuming, of course that American voters learn to recognize and punish their ignorant pigheadedness. I have seen reports that suggest some voters are impatient with Obama for failing to deal with it.

  69. 69.

    WereBear (itouch)

    October 24, 2011 at 10:28 am

    If, in some alternate Universe, I fell into a Presidential nomination race, I would ride with it. Who wouldn’t?

    What is weird is how Cain himself is no longer having fun that way. He’s falling right into the Teabag Template. Are THEY assuring each sacrificial lamb they have all the organization they will need? Just toe the line and keep the press occupied? I’m sure they all think they have a shot or they wouldn’t be cooperating.

  70. 70.

    WereBear (itouch)

    October 24, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @Mino: I am approaching the conclusion that strategic Republican party men don’t want to win the presidency this cycle.

    it sure looks that way. Or, the absolute lack of any remotely credible candidates is letting them get all sour grapes on it. Their pattern is to let the Democrats fix it before they break it again, anyway.

  71. 71.

    Mino

    October 24, 2011 at 10:41 am

    @Amir Khalid: Not to mention, if in charge, they would have to pass stimulus anathema to their pack if they wanted to keep all the plates spinning in the air.

  72. 72.

    Mino

    October 24, 2011 at 10:44 am

    @WereBear (itouch): George Allen may be staging a comeback. Jeb is in the wings. They would certainly be up to the job of breaking it again.

    And glad to read your babies got homes. I enjoy your blog.

  73. 73.

    eyelessgame

    October 24, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    See, now, if I were a Republican strategist thinking about the long term, I’d be wildly depressed about their demographics, and would be running around with my hair on fire trying to figure out how they’ll ever elect a president again.

    Getting a majority in the Republican party requires that all five small minorities that comprise their base (a) remain together and (b) add up to a majority. I don’t see how they maintain either; all five minorities are — in the long term — long term shrinking (shrieking louder and louder as they shrink), and 2008 proved it’s really hard to keep the factions in line without a very strong leader who hits all the right buttons.

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