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You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Got no love for players without dubs

Got no love for players without dubs

by DougJ|  November 1, 201111:35 pm| 73 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Grifters Gonna Grift, We Are All Mayans Now

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A seamless transition between hippie punching and winger fleecing. Griters gonna grift:

HANNITY: I went back and I looked at some of the charges against Bill Clinton, Juanita Broaddrick, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, et cetera, et cetera. You know, and there was so many things, Eleanor Smeal for example, president of the Feminist Majority Fund said at the time. We’re trying to think of the bigger picture, think about what’s best for women. This is why they didn’t go after Clinton. So, if you are pro-choice, if you are democrat, you get a pass, right?

MORRIS: Well, go back to 1990, ’92 when Bill Clinton was first running for president. He got a black woman fired from her job in Arkansas and got flowers hired in that job instead. And after he left office, the civil rights commission ruled that it had been illegal. And the only reason they didn’t rule, it was harassment was that they didn’t know that he’d had sex with her, which he later admitted he did.

HANNITY: And you are doing a children’s book.

MORRIS: That’s right.

HANNITY: “Dubs Goes to Washington?”

MORRIS: That’s right. My dog Dubs, our golden retriever, and my wife Eileen McGann and Clayton Liotta who did the illustration. What we want to do Sean was that, we — there is no book that kids can buy that shows our heritage and our heroes in a positive light. Everything is P. C. So, what we do in this is we take the like the Iwo Jima Memorial, and we have a poem attached to it, which is the battle was won by the U.S. marines in one of history’s most famous scenes and when we meet the men who kept insured the freedom never fails, people say thanks and dogs wag their tails.

HANNITY: Very good.

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Reader Interactions

73Comments

  1. 1.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    oh, great. doug. again.

  2. 2.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    doug, is it okay that I mock you.

    are you mad?

  3. 3.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    doug, please respond. it’s just us, buddy.

  4. 4.

    Nevgu

    November 1, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    So you are gonna quote Hannity and Morris now? Must be a slow gloom porn day eh?

    May as well quote Victoria Jackson and Chuck Norris.

  5. 5.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    don’t yell at doug, he’s had to put up with a lot.

  6. 6.

    handy

    November 1, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    And you are doing a children’s book.

    LOLwut?

  7. 7.

    Hunter Gathers

    November 1, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    The chapter where Dubs gets caught sucking on a hooker’s toes while at the Vietnam War Memorial should be very interesting.

  8. 8.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    @Hunter Gathers:

    so vulgar.

  9. 9.

    soonergrunt

    November 1, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    OT–Herman Cain Warns China Is Seeking ‘Nuclear Capability’.
    This is the only reason I’m upset about Cain having his little sexual harassment fail parade now. We’re going to be denied months of this kind of stuff.

  10. 10.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    the important thing is we get to yell at doug.

    that’s the thing.

  11. 11.

    Mark S.

    November 1, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    I think the only sentence Morris says in that entire passage that makes any goddamn sense is “That’s right.”

    I am shocked that “there is no book that kids can buy that shows our heritage and our heroes in a positive light.”

  12. 12.

    DougJ

    November 1, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    @Little Boots:

    No problem!

  13. 13.

    Redshift

    November 1, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    there is no book that kids can buy where their money goes to me that shows our heritage and our heroes in a positive light.

    Fixed.

  14. 14.

    West of the Cascades

    November 1, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    Dick Morris is married? What sort of creature would marry Dick Morris?

  15. 15.

    Mark S.

    November 1, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    @soonergrunt:

    Wait until he finds out that the French are seeking nuclear capability as well. Only Cain can stop that dastardly de Gaulle!

  16. 16.

    Little Boots

    November 1, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    awww, I knew it.

    why I deep down love you, doug.

  17. 17.

    Spaghetti Lee

    November 1, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    @soonergrunt:

    Oh come now, don’t despair! Sarah Palin hasn’t actually run for any office since 2008, yet we got a whole 3 years of mockable baloney.

  18. 18.

    Little Boots

    November 2, 2011 at 12:01 am

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    she knows her limits.

    and for that, we thank her.

  19. 19.

    Nutella

    November 2, 2011 at 12:06 am

    @Hunter Gathers:

    The chapter where Dubs gets caught sucking on a hooker’s toes while at the Vietnam War Memorial should be very interesting.

    Especially since he promises it will not be PC.

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 2, 2011 at 12:07 am

    @West of the Cascades:

    Dick Morris is married? What sort of creature would marry Dick Morris?

    A hooker who knows a guy who’s good for quite a bit of hush money?

  21. 21.

    Wag

    November 2, 2011 at 12:09 am

    I’m pissed that soonergrunt beat me to Cain’ newest idiocy.

    I hope we have Herman to kick around for years to come, but don’t have my hopes too high.

    Additionally, I hope the snow falling tonight makes the roads here in Denver slick tomorrow, purely out of spite.

  22. 22.

    Jenny

    November 2, 2011 at 12:10 am

    Oh yeah, tricky Dick Morris has a kid out of wedlock, which is what Bobo is currently blaming for the collapse of financial system.

  23. 23.

    piratedan

    November 2, 2011 at 12:10 am

    well remember, Morris has a firm grasp on the intellectual level of his audience, so naturally its a children’s book.

  24. 24.

    West of the Cascades

    November 2, 2011 at 12:10 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    A hooker who knows a guy who’s good for quite a bit of hush money?

    But she co-authors books with him, too? I can’t see any self-respecting hooker doing that.

  25. 25.

    daveX99

    November 2, 2011 at 12:12 am

    holy Christ. ‘dubs’?

    I threw up in my mouth a little.

  26. 26.

    scav

    November 2, 2011 at 12:13 am

    The PC war on tail-wagging has been one of the significant triumphs over recent decades. Wars on Christmas, Easter, Groundhog Day, not so much but stomping out the little canine butt-wiggle of joy? Hasn’t been seen in years.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 2, 2011 at 12:13 am

    @West of the Cascades:

    Teatard hooker. Zero self respect.

  28. 28.

    Jenny

    November 2, 2011 at 12:14 am

    I always thought Karl Rove was vastly over rated. And this is a great example. Yes, Howard Fineman is on the fainting couch over the sexual embarrassment claims, but the Teatards are rallying around Cain, thinking this is some liburel hit job.

  29. 29.

    Martin

    November 2, 2011 at 12:14 am

    @soonergrunt: My god. How could Obama Bush Clinton Bush Reagan Carter Ford Nixon Johnson allow this to happen!

  30. 30.

    Short Bus Bully

    November 2, 2011 at 12:16 am

    Saw that Dick Morris was in this post with Hannity and threw up in my mouth a little then actually read the post and said FUCK IT and threw up fucking everywhere.

    Thanks for that.

  31. 31.

    JGabriel

    November 2, 2011 at 12:17 am

    People say thanks and dogs wag their tails.

    That should join the Balloon-Juice rotating banner database.

    .

  32. 32.

    Little Boots

    November 2, 2011 at 12:18 am

    doug, just so you get it, you know I like teasing you, and I love that you put up with that. just so you know.

  33. 33.

    JGabriel

    November 2, 2011 at 12:18 am

    West of the Cascades:

    What sort of creature would marry Dick Morris?

    Someone who likes getting her toes sucked.

    .

  34. 34.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 2, 2011 at 12:19 am

    @soonergrunt:

    As I noted on a previous thread, The Cain Train missed this one at the station…47 years ago…

  35. 35.

    Jenny

    November 2, 2011 at 12:19 am

    I love Bobo. I love how he’s blaming the collapse of Wall Street on fat people, red states, and Bristol Palin’s hooch.

  36. 36.

    Little Boots

    November 2, 2011 at 12:24 am

    @Jenny:

    bobo, is so, oh, god, he’s so bobo.

  37. 37.

    Little Boots

    November 2, 2011 at 12:26 am

    omnes, did you disappear.

    you’re not still mad, are you?

  38. 38.

    Martin

    November 2, 2011 at 12:27 am

    @Jenny:

    Bristol Palin’s hooch.

    Well let’s face it, until 2008 nobody lost betting on a Palin hooch.

  39. 39.

    Spaghetti Lee

    November 2, 2011 at 12:36 am

    @Martin:

    I believe the word you’re looking for is “cooch”?

  40. 40.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    November 2, 2011 at 12:38 am

    @soonergrunt: I just asked my 16 year old: The only countries he missed were Israel and North Korea, for obvious reasons.

  41. 41.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    November 2, 2011 at 12:43 am

    @piratedan:

    well remember, Morris has a firm grasp on the intellectual level of his audience, so naturally its a children’s book.

    I’m sorry, but children’s books are actually harder to write than ones for adults; children see through bullshit much more easily. This, of course, means that Morris’s book will be a steaming pile of shit.

  42. 42.

    Joel

    November 2, 2011 at 12:45 am

    @soonergrunt: I was out in Xi’an last year. Right across the road from an ancient emperor’s burial ground (Hanyanling) is one nuclear power plant, with two more under construction. They’re replacing three (currently active) coal burners. The haze around there was so nasty you couldn’t see 50 feet in front of you. Mind you, in Xi’an you often can’t see the sun on a cloudiness day. I’d say nuclear capacity there is a good thing.

  43. 43.

    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)

    November 2, 2011 at 12:45 am

    Can’t stand Hannity, he of the omnipresent smirk. I wonder how long he spends in front of a mirror each day exercising his eyebrows.

  44. 44.

    Rich2506

    November 2, 2011 at 12:46 am

    And the only reason they didn’t rule, it was harassment was that they didn’t know that he’d had sex with her, which he later admitted he did.

    Now, if Clinton got some poor, efficient and effective woman fired because he wanted to put his sweetheart into a position (I believe the evidence showed that he did indeed “do it” with Flowers, but just once), I can certainly see that as sex-related, but not really clear that “harassment” was an issue at all as both Clinton and Flowers were very much both willing partners. Is it harassment to fire someone who’s just doing her job so you can hire your sweetheart? I guess that might be their meaning, but that appears to stretch the meaning of the word “harassment” awfully far.

  45. 45.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    November 2, 2011 at 12:46 am

    @soonergrunt: It is a pretty funny flub, though. Tomorrow he’ll be stating he was misunderstood, and he probably just used the wrong word, but it is still funny.

  46. 46.

    James

    November 2, 2011 at 12:48 am

    Huge deal.

    4 Georgia Men Arrested in Terror Plot – NYTimes.com

    Rightwing militia group. All old guys.

    Four Georgia men who were part of a fringe militia group were arrested on Tuesday in what the Justice Department described as a plot to use guns, bombs and the toxin ricin to kill federal and state officials and spread terror.

  47. 47.

    suzanne

    November 2, 2011 at 12:51 am

    @Jenny:

    I love how he’s blaming the collapse of Wall Street on fat people, red states, and Bristol Palin’s hooch.

    To be fair, I blame Bristol Palin’s cootch for many of our social ills.

    Except Levi. Levi is a national treasure.

  48. 48.

    Little Boots

    November 2, 2011 at 12:54 am

    the important thing is, doug do you love me, or at least love:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puVmKfCwb4M

  49. 49.

    Yutsano

    November 2, 2011 at 12:59 am

    @suzanne:

    Except Levi. Levi is a national treasure.

    Ya had to go all Kathy Griffin on me didn’t you? :)

  50. 50.

    Suffern ACE

    November 2, 2011 at 1:00 am

    I am shocked that “there is no book that kids can buy that shows our heritage and our heroes in a positive light.”

    When the transmission of our civilization is left to the likes of Dick Morris, it isn’t worth saving any longer. The Chinese can’t get nukes soon enough. Cripes. At list point, I for one would welcome our new Belizian overloards. If they would even want us.

  51. 51.

    handy

    November 2, 2011 at 1:07 am

    Wait are we talking about hooch or cooch? Not that it matters to me cuz I’m down with both.

  52. 52.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 2, 2011 at 1:10 am

    @James:

    Um, these guys are white. They can’t POSSIBLY be terrorists.

    They probably also say “Praise Jeebus” or something similar.

    Terrorists are brown, and speak of “Allah”. EVERYONE knows this.

  53. 53.

    Jenny

    November 2, 2011 at 1:13 am

    I got hoochie and cooch mixed up. hoochie is very different than hooch.

  54. 54.

    suzanne

    November 2, 2011 at 1:34 am

    @Yutsano: Oh yes. He’s just so hilarious. I cannot help but love. He’s like FourLoko back when she was funny.

  55. 55.

    Roger Moore

    November 2, 2011 at 1:36 am

    @suzanne:

    He’s like FourLoko back when she was funny.

    I think you’re relying on selective memory. She’s still funny sometimes now, and she was definitely annoying a lot of the time before.

  56. 56.

    piratedan

    November 2, 2011 at 1:47 am

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: well I didn’t claim it would be a good book…..

  57. 57.

    srv

    November 2, 2011 at 1:49 am

    The first black president had sex with a black woman and then fired her and hired a white woman so that was harassment? Except if he was having sex with her too?

    And this is all in a children’s book?

  58. 58.

    Suffern ACE

    November 2, 2011 at 1:52 am

    @srv: Prude.

  59. 59.

    srv

    November 2, 2011 at 1:54 am

    Also too, is Dick saying it is legal to have sex with dogs at the Iwo Jima memorial as long as you’re reciting P.C. poetry?

  60. 60.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    November 2, 2011 at 1:54 am

    @piratedan: :-)

  61. 61.

    TuiMel

    November 2, 2011 at 1:56 am

    A seamless transition between hippie punching and winger fleecing.

    ANYONE who buys anything written or supposedly written by Icky Dick Morris deserves what he / she gets. Such people are the living proof that “a fool and his money are soon parted.”

  62. 62.

    Yutsano

    November 2, 2011 at 2:05 am

    @suzanne: Hockey players are…different. Depending on offence or defence. Defencemen are all beasts. Or at least they want you to think that.

  63. 63.

    jefft452

    November 2, 2011 at 2:51 am

    @Jenny:
    I don’t think Rove leaked it, I think Cain did
    Think about it, Cain sees 2 possible futures:

    1) The next Rick Lazio – The great conservative hope against the most evil person in history. The conservative hope is guaranteed to win in our center right nation because Rush says everybody hates the evil liberal, but somehow he gets beat so bad that even ditto-heads don’t believe it was voter fraud. After a decade he might get the occasional guest spot on MSNBC as a punching bag

    2) The next Robert Bork – The brave conservative who was unjustly denied his spot in the sun by those vicious left-wing smear merchants, who can command whatever speaking fees he wants at any gathering of wingnut rubes from now till he dies

  64. 64.

    Donald G

    November 2, 2011 at 3:16 am

    @Mark S.:

    Wait until he finds out that the French are seeking nuclear capability as well. Only Cain can stop that dastardly de Gaulle!

    “But,” in the words of the Tom Lehrer song, “they’re on our side…I believe.”

    Of course, “we’ll try to stay serene and calm…when Alabama gets the bomb.”

  65. 65.

    Donald G

    November 2, 2011 at 3:20 am

    @James:

    Rightwing militia group. All old guys.

    The youngest of the four men is 65, the oldest is 73. As someone who remembers his septuagenarian grandfather believing everything Pat Robertson told him about politics and religion and ranting about it long afterwards, I make this heartfelt plea:

    Old people, for the sake of your sanity and for your loved ones, turn off your radios and teevees, especially if most of your viewing consists of an angry guy going on and on about everything that’s wrong with the world. Following those bozos will only get you into trouble and bring sorrow to yourself and your loved ones.

  66. 66.

    Another face in the crowd

    November 2, 2011 at 7:09 am

    Has anyone ever seen Dick Morris and Oswald Cobblepot together? Same guy, I’m telling ya…

  67. 67.

    hamletta

    November 2, 2011 at 7:32 am

    @Donald G: From your lips to my dad’s ears.

  68. 68.

    Omnes Omnibus

    November 2, 2011 at 7:51 am

    @Donald G: Weird, in my family, until you start getting to first cousins once removed and beyond, no one over 65 is conservative. Of course, no one under 65 is conservative either. I have one non-political uncle, but that’s about it.

  69. 69.

    Donald G

    November 2, 2011 at 8:17 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Weird, in my family, until you start getting to first cousins once removed and beyond, no one over 65 is conservative. Of course, no one under 65 is conservative either. I have one non-political uncle, but that’s about it.

    Well, to be fair, my grandfather did pass away 24 years ago, just a few months shy of his 81st birthday, and he was raised Southern.

    Grandma was scarily religious, but had no use for Pat Robertson and his ilk. She also had a deep distrust and contempt for rich people.

  70. 70.

    catclub

    November 2, 2011 at 10:18 am

    @Mark S.: I bet Cain can do an inspired Clouseau impression.

  71. 71.

    Liberty60

    November 2, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Re: winger fleecing;

    I read that Goldline is under indictment, and while I normally become enraged by white collar crime, in this case I wish I could be on the jury if only to acquit them on the grounds of “justifiable fraud”.

  72. 72.

    EconWatcher

    November 2, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    I can never forgive the Big Dog for giving Morris the power he did. It says a lot about Clinton, and nothing good.

  73. 73.

    JWL

    November 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    My uncle had a lifelong friend who led a platoon on Guam and lost his leg on Iwo. That man went on spent the rest of his life as a union organizer and labor leader in Hawaii.

    [Dog’s tail wags furiously].

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