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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Because of wow. / Shorter Rand Paul on the Cain Scandal: “Bitches, Man. Bitches.”

Shorter Rand Paul on the Cain Scandal: “Bitches, Man. Bitches.”

by Imani Gandy (ABL)|  November 2, 20112:46 pm| 20 Comments

This post is in: Because of wow., Crock Pot Craziness, Vagina Outrage, Assholes, Fucked-up-edness, Serenity Now!, Seriously

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Rand Paul will say anything.

Rand Paul is all torn up about this Herman Cain business.

Not because sexual harassment in the workplace is a scourge that should be eradicated so that women and men at work can concentrate on putting those red covers on their TPS reports, rather than warding off unwanted games of grab-ass. Oh no! But because woman are just so goddamn sensitive:

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has an interesting take on Herman Cain’s growing scandal: honestly, he says, these days it seems like women can’t take a joke.

“There are people now who hesitate to tell a joke to a woman in the workplace, any kind of joke, because it could be interpreted incorrectly,” he told the National Review. “I don’t. I’m very cautious.”

‘In my election, I had an anonymous girl from college — who I still don’t know — make accusations against me,” he told NR. “I don’t think you should print stuff like that. To libel someone’s character and not put your name on it, I think is inappropriate and shouldn’t be printed.”

Good to know that Paul is very cautious… now. Rumor has it that he used to end all his jokes with a “Ba da bing!” and a super-sweet set of finger guns.

[via Talking Points Memo]

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Reader Interactions

20Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 2, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    He’s his fucktard father’s son, that’s for damn sure.

    What a worthless sack of shit he is.

  2. 2.

    singfoom

    November 2, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    In the immortal words of Ali G: “That’s a very sexist way to be talking ’bout these bitches.”

    In all seriousness, if someone makes an accusation against you, that’s not libel until you prove that it is. And if that transforms into actual charges, well, it’s something for the courts.

  3. 3.

    scav

    November 2, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    They’re really going all-out for the uppity and over-sensitive voting blocks, no? Right up there with the universally illegals.

  4. 4.

    rikryah

    November 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    the title of this post just has me LMAO

    because, it’s true.

    because, you are so right.

  5. 5.

    Mnemosyne

    November 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    And he’s not allowed to tell jokes about niggers, chinks or cripples in public anymore, either, because they’re all so oversensitive! Poor baby.

  6. 6.

    Martin

    November 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    The free market should decide whose jugs you can grope and whose ass you can slap. That’s the true meaning of liberty.

  7. 7.

    Comrade Dread

    November 2, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    The poor dear. You mean, he actually has to be professional around his colleagues and spend his hours working rather than standing around the water cooler telling risque jokes?

    The horror. The horror.

  8. 8.

    Tom65

    November 2, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Ah, so that’s what Meatprod looks like.

  9. 9.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 2, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    @Comrade Dread: Hey, without racy humor it’s hard to while away the hours at your self-accredited ophthalmology clinic.

  10. 10.

    BGinCHI

    November 2, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    Next on Rand Paul’s agenda: redefining rape as “sex a guy has to work for.”

  11. 11.

    LGRooney

    November 2, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    He’s a fucking conservative, unless they are insulting someone in a blatantly puerile fashion their own jokes fly over their collective head (and it is a collective, hive mind, AMIRITE?).

    That’s why they’re so pissed off at the world, if you aren’t capable of making yourself feel better then you use the next lever of bringing the ‘other’ down. And, since it isn’t polite to openly insult someone for something other than life’s electives, they got nothin’!

    Humorless fucks, all!

  12. 12.

    Norwonk

    November 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    He’s so right. It’s getting to the point where you can’t even kidnap a girl, tie her up and force her to pray to Aqua Buddha anymore.

  13. 13.

    Nemesis

    November 2, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    Rands invisible hand was where?

  14. 14.

    chopper

    November 2, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    my rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
    i made all of the ladies in the area pregnant
    yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
    but all you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this.

  15. 15.

    Roger Moore

    November 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    @Martin:

    The free market should decide whose jugs you can grope and whose ass you can slap.

    Absolutely. If women don’t like being sexually harassed, they should look for a job where sexual harassment isn’t allowed. The free market will decide if employers really need to protect their workers from being sexually harassed and exploited. If the invisible hand decides to slap women on the ass, it shouldn’t be the job of government to stop it.

  16. 16.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    November 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    As much as I loath to even implicitly agree with a conservative at lest in the ’90s the work place harassment policies seemed to be more about CYA by placating the whiners and less about stopping bullying and grab ass. One company I worked for there were a group of woman clearly trying for class action lawsuit and it made the place a real snake pit. Say “good morning” with the wrong tone because your ill at 6:00am on a Monday morning and you might get written up. Fun times.

    So I suppose it’s worth hearing the full story about Cain’s harassment. Then again I am pretty sure Cain is the kind of guy that HR departments have in mind when they write their policies.

  17. 17.

    Short Bus Bully

    November 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    Fucking GREAT title for this thread.

    This thread is fully of win.

  18. 18.

    Lee

    November 2, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    …rather than warding off unwanted games of grab-ass.

    What about the wanted games of grab-ass?

  19. 19.

    mick

    November 2, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    everytime i hear the cain man’s name, i think of the dave chappelle rick james impression. only, “I’m Herman Cain, bitches! bitch, i am herman cain!”

    i feel this. his essence somehow exudes this…for me. is it just me?

  20. 20.

    DaBomb

    November 2, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Rand Paul looks like Andy Dick’s long lost uncool twin brother.

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