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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Fuck You Ravens

Fuck You Ravens

by John Cole|  November 7, 20116:02 am| 39 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I just woke up from a nightmare in which my back hurt so bad I could not get comfortable in bed, the Steelers blew a lead with one minute left in a game to the Ravens, and I had several animals jockeying for position in bed keeping me awake.

Wait. That’s my life. Never mind.

Advil advil advil heating pad.

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Reader Interactions

39Comments

  1. 1.

    Raven (formerly stuckinred)

    November 7, 2011 at 6:20 am

    Go Bears!

  2. 2.

    DBrown

    November 7, 2011 at 6:32 am

    Sorry but the Steelers are just the Raven’s bitches … .

    Still, in all fairness, the season isn’t over by a long shot and a few more teams have a big say in the AFC North for both teams. Stealers … I mean the Steelers, are a very good team, just not as good as the Ravens (that is, when the Ravens are up and playing like pro’s; the Steelers generally don’t have that issue, at least (more because they do have the better quarterback, beyond a doubt.))

    Chicago? Not gonna happen in that division – maybe next year (yeah, right.)

    New England is a dog and what got into Buffalo is beyond me – the Jets aren’t that good. Still, they are better than New England.

    John, there is next year.

  3. 3.

    flukebucket

    November 7, 2011 at 6:42 am

    Just be glad they weren’t playing LSU. Now that would have been a real nightmare.

  4. 4.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 7, 2011 at 7:07 am

    This blog is like reading Kafka set in the suburbs of West Virginia. Absolutely great.

    I awoke. I had a decent job, but my pets troubled me, my team had lost, and I was beginning to realize that I had turned into a giant cockroach. In descending order of annoyance.

  5. 5.

    JPL

    November 7, 2011 at 7:25 am

    My nightmares had to do with Happy Valley. Paterno’s statement doesn’t clear things up and imo, he has to go.

    The fact that someone we thought we knew might have harmed young people to this extent is deeply troubling.

    Not sure what Joe means by stating to this extent…

  6. 6.

    Mark S.

    November 7, 2011 at 7:37 am

    For some stupid reason, I decided to start my morning reading Slate. In this “article”, the idiots who write for Slate ask, “What are the cultural artifacts since 2000 that will speak to future generations? Here are some of the entries:

    1. “I Gotta Feeling,” by the Black Eyed Peas, because it will be played at weddings.

    2. Some kid on youtube doing a Darth Vader impersonation.

    3. Those fucking “I am a Mac” commercials.

  7. 7.

    Mark S.

    November 7, 2011 at 7:42 am

    @JPL:

    That’s their defense: “We thought ol’ Jerry just liked nude wrestling in the shower. We had no idea he was raping those kids.”

  8. 8.

    cathyx

    November 7, 2011 at 7:44 am

    The Steelers were just outplayed. It’s that simple.

  9. 9.

    JPL

    November 7, 2011 at 7:50 am

    @Mark S.: Paterno probably had his statement vetted to cover his ass. Unfortunately the boys didn’t have that choice. May he rot in hell.

  10. 10.

    Phylllis

    November 7, 2011 at 7:50 am

    @JPL: I think his actions when it was first reported to him should send him packing. You’re a coach at a public university and you’ve been presented credible information of sexual abuse by one of your employees. Hmm, what to do. Call the police, or social services? Naa. Better to tell the AD. That’s what any reasonable person would do. /snark.

  11. 11.

    JPL

    November 7, 2011 at 7:59 am

    @Phylllis: Sandusky retired in 1999 but was allowed to keep his office and use of facilities. Since he was no longer with the University, it would have been easier to do the right thing. He just didn’t expect it to be to that extent. Truthfully, Paterno didn’t expect to get caught.

  12. 12.

    Ron

    November 7, 2011 at 8:00 am

    @DBrown: I think it’s a little premature for that. Yes, this season, they got swept. But it’s not like that’s what the history is. Don’t get me wrong, the Steelers managed to find 2 completely different ways to lose to Baltimore this year, and in some ways last night’s loss is tougher to take than the week one loss. It was at home, and they let the Ravens go 92 yards in 2:34 to win. Week one was ugly and you couldn’t really point to one or two key plays as to the problem. The Steelers still have to play Cincinnati twice as well as at SF. On the other hand they get KC, St. Louis, and Cleveland twice. They can still make the playoffs though winning the North is probably going to require some luck. The problem with the AFC right now is that both the AFC east and AFC north have 3 potential playoff teams in them. Realistically both wildcards will come from these divisions,so you have 6 teams fighting for 4 playoff spots, so nothing will be easy.

  13. 13.

    Jade Jordan

    November 7, 2011 at 8:08 am

    Cole, what do you think about West Virginia suing Rich Rod to enforce his contract and then suing the Big East to get out of their legal contract.

    Seems hypocritical. I hope they have to honor their contract for 27 months. The 2011 season is not turning out to be college football’s finest hour.

    Nothing happens at Penn State without Joe Pa knowing about it and approving it. He chose to protect himself, the football program, his friend the pedophile, and leave the abused kids to fend for themselves. Time to set up FireJOEPA.com

  14. 14.

    Mark S.

    November 7, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I am very suspicious that Sandusky’s resignation in 1999 had nothing to do with the allegations he molested a boy in 1998.

  15. 15.

    Josie

    November 7, 2011 at 8:20 am

    @JPL: You know, I had the same question about that statement. To what extent would it be ok to harm kids. Hmmmm, where to draw the line……..

  16. 16.

    Steve Greer

    November 7, 2011 at 8:32 am

    What was up with that delay of game penalty and the field goal?

  17. 17.

    DBrown

    November 7, 2011 at 8:36 am

    @Ron: I agree (as you can see with my pointing out about the other teams having a say in who wins the AFC North) but I had to mess with Cole with the Steeler lost; though a Raven’s fan, I still like the Steelers and their history but in a Ravens/Steelers meeting after the season, the momentum is strongly on the Ravens side now (a last minute drive to win after all those mistakes by the Ravens says a lot about the Ravens ability to beat the Steelers.)

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    November 7, 2011 at 8:41 am

    @Mark S.:
    Agreed. Who could possibly have any idea which pieces of today’s pop culture are still going to resonate for people in 2111? you’d have to know what was important, what struck people’s fancy in that far-off future. Even then, obviously, different things will matter to different people.

    Slate‘s own guesses seem so absurd. I mean, come on man: The fucking Black Eyed Peas? I suspect it’s just trying to wind its readers up. That’s always been the idea behind Slate‘s whole contrarian shtick. Either that, or the writers had their regular brainstorming session for story ideas and came up with bupkis.

  19. 19.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 7, 2011 at 8:56 am

    @Amir Khalid: It’s funny to remember when Slate started and the new editor Michael Kinsley wrote these essays about it in the first issues about what a new thing it was that Microsoft had an “online zine” and the buzz was about how it was going to be this major contributor to the new culture of the Internet and so on.

    I can’t think of many things funnier than that at this point.

  20. 20.

    redshirt

    November 7, 2011 at 9:20 am

    Fucka you Dolphins!

  21. 21.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 7, 2011 at 9:27 am

    @JPL: Exactly. And I had the same fury when I saw “to this extent” in the statement. Personally, I’d find it fucking shocking that someone might have harmed young people. He should rot in hell; I have no doubt that he helped shut down any real investigation into the 1998 case.

  22. 22.

    JenJen

    November 7, 2011 at 9:34 am

    Next Sunday, it gets real, Cole.

    GO BENGALS!!

  23. 23.

    LiberalTarian

    November 7, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Re your back–lipoderm patches are miraculous. You can wear them for 12 hours. I have had to do changes in how I sleep, exercise and walk (based on physical therapy) that have helped tremendously, but the pain is always ready to come back if I am not mindful.

  24. 24.

    Linda Featheringill

    November 7, 2011 at 9:45 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    John as Kafka. [hee-hee]

    I saw this earlier when my animals woke me up too early and it’s still funny.

    Didn’t someone tell the animals about the time change?

  25. 25.

    LiberalTarian

    November 7, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Also, make friends with an ice pack. You can ice for 20 minutes 3 times a day. Heat is bad for inflammation, it can aggravate the problem. Good luck.

  26. 26.

    Peej01

    November 7, 2011 at 10:05 am

    The Garfield strip on Sunday reminded me of Cole and his pets.

  27. 27.

    Irony Abounds

    November 7, 2011 at 10:07 am

    Sorry, but the damn Jets deserve a big Fuck You far more. Obnoxious twits.

  28. 28.

    Amir Khalid

    November 7, 2011 at 10:21 am

    @JPL:
    Someone should ask: “So, Mr Paterno, just what extent of harm to young people is OK with you?”

  29. 29.

    Samara Morgan

    November 7, 2011 at 11:01 am

    sry you’re under the weather……but im having a blast.
    I think capn’ stupid needs go back to the house of pain.

  30. 30.

    Samara Morgan

    November 7, 2011 at 11:16 am

    LOL!

    A fourth woman?

  31. 31.

    Maude

    November 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    @LiberalTarian:
    John is king of the ice packs.

  32. 32.

    moe99

    November 7, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Well, at least none of your dogs had a urinary tract infection that caused him or her to pee on your bed just after you’d changed all the linens. Including the down comforter!

    The offender was banished to the basement bathroom for the remainder of the night where he managed to behave totally out of character and trashed the place.

  33. 33.

    JWL

    November 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Go Bengals, watch out Steelers, it’s about to “get real”? Seriously? The Bengals?

    It’s been a strange season so far, hasn’t it? Teams that have looked like world beaters a few weeks in a row proceed to curl up like a stink bug exposed to light against teams you’d think they’d handle easily.

    The Bengals, for example.

    The Niners have a legit defense, and an offense that’s feeling their oats. But they absolutely slaughtered the Bengals on both sides of the ball in week three, and their special teams did likewise. It was their biggest blowout in many, many years (i.e., a blowout in which they gave rather than received). It was really fun to watch. As it use to be, in a time so very, very long ago.

    But I just checked, and as of today, Cincinnati is 6-2. Go figure.

  34. 34.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    November 7, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    The Packers are 8-0. Aaron Rodgers has been playing, over the last 8 games- if not the last 14, including last season’s playoffs- better than any NFL quarterback has ever played.

    Life is…not bad right now.

  35. 35.

    Thymezone

    November 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    A fine, fine post.

    I don’t know when I have seen such faux upset at something as meaningless as a regular season NFL football game. But, it’s Pittsburgh. In my limited travels there, I have found that the town has some of the most passionate and loyal sports fans on earth. You can walk up to any local and say “Bill Mazeroski” and get a two hour conversation on the history of Pirate baseball and the sad loss of old Forbes Field, even if home plate is still marked inside a university building which was long ago erected on the site.

    And then there is Three Rivers, and the era of Bradshaw and the Steel Curtain ….

    But all this agita over this week’s regular season game? It’s one thing to be a loyal fan, but another to be crazy, obnoxious and fucking obsessive.

  36. 36.

    JWL

    November 7, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Thymezone: I get it.

    At least, insofar as I despise the Dodgers. I feel pretty much the same way about them (at the half century mark) as I did when I was 7 years old. It doesn’t matter where either team is in the standings; if LA is flying high, and the Giants sucking wind, or visa versa. When they play each other, it always matters.

    A lot.

  37. 37.

    deadrody

    November 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    Cole, you are such a fucking twit. As if the drooling libtard lefties that inhabit this haven of marxism give a shit about football. Why do you occasionally have to pretend its still 2004 ?

  38. 38.

    Ron

    November 7, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    @DBrown: I agree that this season the momentum is Baltimore’s way right now, but we’ll see what happens in the playoffs.

  39. 39.

    Paul in KY

    November 8, 2011 at 10:56 am

    You could be a Browns fan.

    Rot in Hell, Art Modell.

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