Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Presidents are not kings, and Plaintiff is not President.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Let there be snark.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Everybody saw this coming.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

I really should read my own blog.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

You are here: Home / Science & Technology / The Apple Store App In The Apple App Store

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25Comments

  4. 4.

    joes527

    So … I can walk into an apple store, pick up some random piece of shit, hold it up to the jujube box that I have cleverly painted to look like an iphone, go beebeebeebeebeebeep, and walk out as if I had paid for it?

    Cool.

  5. 5.

    Poopyman

    My bet is that it was written by an Apple Store employee so he wouldn’t have to deal with so damn many people.

    They’re geeks too, after all.

  11. 11.

    RossinDetroit

    I can already deposit checks in my Chase account just by taking a picture of them. These things seem really obvious once they happen.

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    Anything to avoid talking to the idiots that work at the Apple Store. I have never had to deal with anyone at an Apple Store that didn’t take an hour to verify the fact that the stuff I brought in was fucked up, and fucked up in exactly the way I described to them both over the phone and in person.

  14. 14.

    Martin

    @Poopyman:

    My bet is that it was written by an Apple Store employee so he wouldn’t have to deal with so damn many people.

    The Apple Stores are really struggling with scale. I don’t think Apple anticipated they’d have to deal with this kind of customer traffic on a daily basis, and the last thing they want to do is turn off customer interaction simply to handle cash register volume (like every other store in the US has done).

    The gambit here is that by letting people check out inexpensive items the shrinkage cost will be cheaper than the cost of building a larger store – which really is what most of these are up against. I can’t believe that our local stores aren’t up against fire codes on most Saturdays.

    But if you think about it, as it stands there’s really nothing more than a psychological barrier stopping you from walking out the front door with those headphones. Apple Stores don’t make you walk the register/metal detector gauntlet like most electronic stores do. So long as they keep the high revenue items under observation (which isn’t that hard given how heavily staffed they are) they can afford to let a few low revenue items slip by.

    And they already have self-checkout, so there’s not that big a difference between checking out on their iPhone and checking out on yours.

    On the flipside, self-checkout and online retail is probably the single biggest source of job loss in the US – moreso than outsourcing. The retail job sector is at least 2x the size of the manufacturing sector, but instead of outsourcing work to China, retail is outsourcing it to the customer.

  15. 15.

    RossinDetroit

    Apple Store that didn’t take an hour to verify the fact that the stuff I brought in was fucked up, and fucked up in exactly the way I described

    This is unpossible. Perfect things do not fail. Please report for reeducation.

  16. 16.

    sukabi

    @MikeJ: wut? you mean the term “Genius” is a misnomer?

    I had the absolute WORST 3 days last week dealing with Apple Care, the Apple Store, their ‘automated phone system’ and their ‘Geniuses’… the only good thing about the whole thing is that it didn’t cost me an arm and a leg, and the computer is fixed… f’n Apple store is as loud as a Chucky Cheese and about as appetitizing… UGH!

  17. 17.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Kind of funny, the first comment there says:

    This does sound very cool as a concept, but at the same time, I actually do like the human contact that I get in the Apple Store

    Please……whimper…. it’s the last human contact I had. And if you offer it…. I’ll take it! I know me.

  18. 18.

    Linnaeus

    Somewhat OT, but it looks like Apple Store managers will be getting “union training“:

    The twice-a-year course will “provide managers with a practical understanding of how unions affect the workplace, how and why employees organize, and the legal do’s and don’ts of dealing with unions,” reads a document describing the training. Besides, it is a “great opportunity” for managers to meet Apple’s legal department. While chatting with the legal eagles sounds like such a giggle, the likely emphasis will be drilling into managers there is no need to unionize the stores.

    Yeah, that’s awesome. Go Apple.

  19. 19.

    Sentient Puddle

    I find this to be both rather sad and a godsend. Which I think, on balance, just makes me depressed about myself.

  20. 20.

    ruemara

    I love human contact! It makes me appreciate my cats and computers more. No app for me thanks. Nothing beats being condescending to “Genius” who believes I could not possibly know what I’m talking about.

  21. 21.

    joes527

    @Linnaeus: meh. Sounds like the boilerplate “don’t do anything stupid that could end up getting us sued” talk. Training your managers to keep within the bounds of the laws is actually a good thing, and most big companies do it as a basic CYA.

    Did I just defend Apple?

  22. 22.

    sukabi

    @ruemara: yeah, talk about full immersion in ‘pretentious condescension’, I was about ready to gouge someone’s eyes out by the end of my ‘experience’….

  23. 23.

    Linnaeus

    @joes527:

    Maybe I’m being a little overly negative; I do agree that managers should be aware of the law and educating them about the law is a good thing. It’s just that I’ve seen trainings like this also become instruction in union “prevention”. I hope that doesn’t happen in Apple’s case.

  24. 24.

    Gromit

    For us techno-recluses, another chance to shun human contact.

    I guess that’s one way to look at it. Another would be that stuff like this lets you spend less time waiting for fairly meaningless human contact in an electronics store, and more time on actual quality human contact, like spending time with friends or family.

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