Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

I’m just a talker, trying to find a channel!

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Fight them, without becoming them!

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“They not like us!” (that’s for sure!)

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

You are here: Home / Science & Technology / The Apple Store App In The Apple App Store

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25Comments

  4. 4.

    joes527

    So … I can walk into an apple store, pick up some random piece of shit, hold it up to the jujube box that I have cleverly painted to look like an iphone, go beebeebeebeebeebeep, and walk out as if I had paid for it?

    Cool.

  5. 5.

    Poopyman

    My bet is that it was written by an Apple Store employee so he wouldn’t have to deal with so damn many people.

    They’re geeks too, after all.

  11. 11.

    RossinDetroit

    I can already deposit checks in my Chase account just by taking a picture of them. These things seem really obvious once they happen.

  13. 13.

    MikeJ

    Anything to avoid talking to the idiots that work at the Apple Store. I have never had to deal with anyone at an Apple Store that didn’t take an hour to verify the fact that the stuff I brought in was fucked up, and fucked up in exactly the way I described to them both over the phone and in person.

  14. 14.

    Martin

    @Poopyman:

    My bet is that it was written by an Apple Store employee so he wouldn’t have to deal with so damn many people.

    The Apple Stores are really struggling with scale. I don’t think Apple anticipated they’d have to deal with this kind of customer traffic on a daily basis, and the last thing they want to do is turn off customer interaction simply to handle cash register volume (like every other store in the US has done).

    The gambit here is that by letting people check out inexpensive items the shrinkage cost will be cheaper than the cost of building a larger store – which really is what most of these are up against. I can’t believe that our local stores aren’t up against fire codes on most Saturdays.

    But if you think about it, as it stands there’s really nothing more than a psychological barrier stopping you from walking out the front door with those headphones. Apple Stores don’t make you walk the register/metal detector gauntlet like most electronic stores do. So long as they keep the high revenue items under observation (which isn’t that hard given how heavily staffed they are) they can afford to let a few low revenue items slip by.

    And they already have self-checkout, so there’s not that big a difference between checking out on their iPhone and checking out on yours.

    On the flipside, self-checkout and online retail is probably the single biggest source of job loss in the US – moreso than outsourcing. The retail job sector is at least 2x the size of the manufacturing sector, but instead of outsourcing work to China, retail is outsourcing it to the customer.

  15. 15.

    RossinDetroit

    Apple Store that didn’t take an hour to verify the fact that the stuff I brought in was fucked up, and fucked up in exactly the way I described

    This is unpossible. Perfect things do not fail. Please report for reeducation.

  16. 16.

    sukabi

    @MikeJ: wut? you mean the term “Genius” is a misnomer?

    I had the absolute WORST 3 days last week dealing with Apple Care, the Apple Store, their ‘automated phone system’ and their ‘Geniuses’… the only good thing about the whole thing is that it didn’t cost me an arm and a leg, and the computer is fixed… f’n Apple store is as loud as a Chucky Cheese and about as appetitizing… UGH!

  17. 17.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Kind of funny, the first comment there says:

    This does sound very cool as a concept, but at the same time, I actually do like the human contact that I get in the Apple Store

    Please……whimper…. it’s the last human contact I had. And if you offer it…. I’ll take it! I know me.

  18. 18.

    Linnaeus

    Somewhat OT, but it looks like Apple Store managers will be getting “union training“:

    The twice-a-year course will “provide managers with a practical understanding of how unions affect the workplace, how and why employees organize, and the legal do’s and don’ts of dealing with unions,” reads a document describing the training. Besides, it is a “great opportunity” for managers to meet Apple’s legal department. While chatting with the legal eagles sounds like such a giggle, the likely emphasis will be drilling into managers there is no need to unionize the stores.

    Yeah, that’s awesome. Go Apple.

  19. 19.

    Sentient Puddle

    I find this to be both rather sad and a godsend. Which I think, on balance, just makes me depressed about myself.

  20. 20.

    ruemara

    I love human contact! It makes me appreciate my cats and computers more. No app for me thanks. Nothing beats being condescending to “Genius” who believes I could not possibly know what I’m talking about.

  21. 21.

    joes527

    @Linnaeus: meh. Sounds like the boilerplate “don’t do anything stupid that could end up getting us sued” talk. Training your managers to keep within the bounds of the laws is actually a good thing, and most big companies do it as a basic CYA.

    Did I just defend Apple?

  22. 22.

    sukabi

    @ruemara: yeah, talk about full immersion in ‘pretentious condescension’, I was about ready to gouge someone’s eyes out by the end of my ‘experience’….

  23. 23.

    Linnaeus

    @joes527:

    Maybe I’m being a little overly negative; I do agree that managers should be aware of the law and educating them about the law is a good thing. It’s just that I’ve seen trainings like this also become instruction in union “prevention”. I hope that doesn’t happen in Apple’s case.

  24. 24.

    Gromit

    For us techno-recluses, another chance to shun human contact.

    I guess that’s one way to look at it. Another would be that stuff like this lets you spend less time waiting for fairly meaningless human contact in an electronics store, and more time on actual quality human contact, like spending time with friends or family.

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