The Candidates as D&D Characters by John Cole| November 10, 201111:58 am| 66 CommentsThis post is in: Excellent Links, HumorousFacebookTweetEmailThis is simply excellent. Love Cain’s stats. And Newt’s Deity. (via TNC)
Rick Perry needs to send a healthy donation to Penn State. Cain, too.
Bill E Pilgrim
Bachmann’s Language: “sub-Palin”.
Perry’s Self-Destruct: “Opens mouth..”
That’s some funny shite alright. cain’s nos. are hilarious.
Ron Paul is a gnome berzerker. :)
(Insert picture of Fred the Ogre here.)
Obama and Romney in dead heat in three key states! Romney leads in Florida, and Obama is leading in Pennsylvania by only one point. Looks like the field is back to the way it was in 2000 and 2004. link. So much for the 50-state strategy, its back to Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Florida!
I need pie/…where is the filter?
I dropped this into the tail end of a dying thread last night. Glad to see it getting the front page attention it calls for.
On the board where I first ran across it, one of the local conservatives commented that whoever crafted it must hate Romney to stick him with a 16 Int. I happily informed him that even his own side hates Romeny, citing the NotMittster website.
Villago Delenda Est
Romney’s alignment: “Whatever you want him to be”.
@Reality Check: And right on cue, here comes moron boy. I guess he got a new Twinkies, Coke and Depends infusion from the Koch Heads.
Garbled mangled form of English best described as sub-Palin
@Reality Check: The poultry must continue to be fornicated.
And somewhere in the other realms Gary Gygax chuckles.
Arm The Homeless
Shorter DougJ: ‘There is Pie in them thar hills!’
But seriously, Doug … bring back BIRDZILLA
I am wondering whether Ron Paul has anticipated the possibility that his “Ground Team” may be preoccupied with pressing matters at the exact time he needs them in Iowa?
Anyone who thinks a poll 12 months out from an election means something needs a serious reality check.
Ignore the troll.
made it as far as the first line for the first character (Obama).
That was very funny.
I had to put the coffee down or risk spitting it up over the computer.
“Other realm”? I’m sure we could cast a Gate spell and pay a visit to that plain.
Paul in KY
Can no read at work, I haz a +3 sad.
Villago Delenda Est
Those poll results? Victory! for the GOP!
@celticdragonchick: And the GOP candidate not labeled evil. If you say so…
Very good, but for pure brilliance, did you see the thread at Daily Kos about redistricting Middle Earth?
Troll fails Reality Check. Roll for Damage.
i just love the electoral map for 2012… remember the old “Republican Lock” circa Reagan/Bush?
Question: Why did the family values touting Christian Conservative activist cross the road?
Answer: Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.
My only question: Why age 53 for newt? He is 68, right?
I know that Ron Paul is about 77 – really old to be elected president.
Even 68 is very high among the various presidents elected.
Bill E Pilgrim
@catclub: I saw that too and almost spewed coffee. Wiki says he was born in ’43, so yeah 68.
For a moment I thought my god– I guess I am living right after all.
totally off text but this is in reply to cole’s iphone app post : Someone mentioned that google maps isn’t good for GPS because it doesn’t have voice directions. this is incorrect.
@Hawes: That is most excellent.
First comment: Jon Huntsman can’t even get a satirical mention.
Bill E Pilgrim
Best line about Cain yet, in the comments:
Not to darken the day some more, but the Penn State scandal gets worse.
Warning WEEI link:
Romney really should have a super-high dexterity score to flip-flop as gracefully as he does.
Speaking of D&D… I just took tomorrow off (we don’t get the holiday) so I could play Skyrim all day long.
@Joel: that’s sickening… they’re probably hoping to keep the rest under wraps by firing Paterno & the U president….
My favorite part is Newt’s Canteen: “filled with Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce”. Fantastic.
My favs were:
Bachmann’s equipment: Gay Husband
Romney’s equipment: Prismatic Orb of Every Opinion (methinks he keeps the orb in his pants in place of his balls)
Ron Pauls equipment: Randy Ron’s Sniz-atch Photo Album
Gingrich deity: Butter
@Joel: Just reading that link description on mouseover makes me want to vomit. I fully expect to see dead bodies before all this is over.
@Reality Check: if Obama carried every state he did in 2008, he’d have 359 electoral votes. If he lost Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, he’d have 292, which is still more than the 270 needed to win. Here’s what’s facing the GOP in 2012:
They have to win Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virgina, and North Carolina to get to 274 electoral votes.
Oh, and they’d have to hold Arizona (currently trailing), Missouri (margin of error), and the mother load, Texas (Obama trails within the margin of error).
Obama hasn’t even started campaigning in any serious manner. That does not bode well for the GOP because while they are getting all the attention, their frontrunner can’t get within spitting distance of 270 electoral votes.
ETA: and yes, long way out, lot can happen, yadda yadda yadda…
DougJ knows this. The real question is whether he’ll switch to another puppet now that we’re wise to him.
Doug, we want more crazy for a convincing one! You have to come across as drooling and barely coherent. That’s the Republican party of today.
At a sports medicine clinic right now where ESPN is on non-stop. Wondering if my DPN is certified in euthenasia.
Testing to see if my computer is wonky.
Somewhat OT, looks like the Dems in OH are going to the mattresses…
The Democrats announced today they will propose an amendment to the Ohio constitution that would — for two years after a referendum vote — forbid lawmakers from passing laws that are “identical or substantially similar” to any rejected law, including SB 5.
this to prevent a do-over on passing SB5 piecemeal and well, make the GOP look like the lackeys of the most reviled Governor in the history of the state of Ohio.
2012 might actually turn out to be kinda fun after all.
Life’s busy when even an expected County going bankrupt isn’t front page news: Alabama’s Jefferson County files biggest US municipal bankruptcy. Just another day in the US. JP Morgan, Sewers, the SEC? All the expected players.
I’m not sure. I’ve tried loading it from cleek’s place, but I keep getting a 404. Cleek?
And the debates, also, too. Last night’s fiesta was the closest thing to coherence we’ve seen thus far, and only Huntsman came off as someone sane with real policy ideas.
Romney takes on this whiny, defensive demeanor whenever he’s challenged (he’s always been like this, at least since his 1996 debates against Sen. Kennedy). And while it’s easy to badmouth a sitting President when surrounded by friendlies, that tack isn’t likely to work on a one-on-one.
The Other Chuck
Ok, I missed the original reference. Where did this “chicken fucking” meme originate from? I am so not going to google it.
The Other Chuck
Your pie filter download link is 404. Help me Obi Wan Keno-pie, you’re my only hope!
Jay in Oregon
Some people think he went to Heaven, but I prefer to think that he rolled 2d10 and consulted a chart to find his final reward…
@The Other Chuck: This may or may not explain everything.
The Job Creators Strike Back! Class warfare drum circlers, beware!
Reefer Madness Bolsheviks!
Also, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
It’s unfortunate, because I’d like to see the channel which views Fox News as insufficiently serving their TeaBircher needs.
I wondered about his copy of “The Road to Serfdom”. Shouldn’t that be “Atlas Shrugged”?
@The Other Chuck, @Roger Moore:
ok. fixed. give it another try.
@The Other Chuck: Some 2 years ago, co-anchor Ernie Anastos on Fox affiliate WNYW in New York uttered, on air, “Keep fucking that chicken”, apparently without realizing what he had said. The look on his (female) co-anchor’s face was priceless. Youtube link.
Jay in Oregon
I was afraid that something like this might happen: if Sandusky was allowed to prey on young boys for years with no fear of repercussions, then it was just a matter of time before we found out that there was more to the story than just one man.
IMO it was either going to be a child porn ring, or group of people taking advantage of the opportunity.
The 2012 campaign commercial that will be on an endless loop in Ohio
No on Issue 2 had over 60% of the popular vote, repealing SB5. Now Kasich wants to pass it piecemeal. Romney is down 9 points in Ohio
Just one quibble – Newt Gingrich should be chaotic evil. Oh crap, I’m a nerd!
@Hawes: That comment thread was total nerd city. I loved it!
@Ahasuerus: There was also the bookmobile owner on South Park who taught Officer Barbrady to read by using The Fountainhead, which made Officer Barbrady proclaim that reading is so boring he never wanted to do it again.
Thought y’all might be interested in this:
Wall StreetCharleston disrupts Bachmann speech
Obama has STR 5? Ever seen the man with his shirt off?
How does Paul rate 184/231 hit points?
J. A. Baker
@Hawes: Occupy Mordor!
You know, Newt is a crapball, but isn’t that character sheet just a variation of the “Michael Moore is Fat!” joke/putdown? -1/unimpressed.
Herbal Infusion Bagger
“Romney really should have a super-high dexterity score to flip-flop as gracefully as he does.”
Romney’s class should be 2nd Ed. Acrobat.
And Bachman’s alignment should be CN rather than CE. She’s nuts, not evil Limbo, not the Abyss. And her charisma should be a few points higher; while her views are repulsive, she isn’t personally as repulsive as Newt or Santorum.
And Obama works out too much to have a ST of 5.