Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

The willow is too close to the house.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

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66Comments

  6. 6.

    Reality Check

    Obama and Romney in dead heat in three key states! Romney leads in Florida, and Obama is leading in Pennsylvania by only one point. Looks like the field is back to the way it was in 2000 and 2004. link. So much for the 50-state strategy, its back to Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Florida!

  8. 8.

    Gravenstone

    I dropped this into the tail end of a dying thread last night. Glad to see it getting the front page attention it calls for.

    On the board where I first ran across it, one of the local conservatives commented that whoever crafted it must hate Romney to stick him with a 16 Int. I happily informed him that even his own side hates Romeny, citing the NotMittster website.

  13. 13.

    Arm The Homeless

    Shorter DougJ: ‘There is Pie in them thar hills!’

    But seriously, Doug … bring back BIRDZILLA

    I am wondering whether Ron Paul has anticipated the possibility that his “Ground Team” may be preoccupied with pressing matters at the exact time he needs them in Iowa?

  14. 14.

    John S.

    Anyone who thinks a poll 12 months out from an election means something needs a serious reality check.

  18. 18.

    gene108

    That was very funny.

    I had to put the coffee down or risk spitting it up over the computer.

    @Yutsano:

    And somewhere in the other realms Gary Gygax chuckles.

    “Other realm”? I’m sure we could cast a Gate spell and pay a visit to that plain.

  25. 25.

    Yevgraf

    Question: Why did the family values touting Christian Conservative activist cross the road?

    Answer: Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

  26. 26.

    catclub

    My only question: Why age 53 for newt? He is 68, right?

    I know that Ron Paul is about 77 – really old to be elected president.

    Even 68 is very high among the various presidents elected.

  27. 27.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @catclub: I saw that too and almost spewed coffee. Wiki says he was born in ’43, so yeah 68.

    For a moment I thought my god– I guess I am living right after all.

  28. 28.

    Larry Bartlett

    totally off text but this is in reply to cole’s iphone app post : Someone mentioned that google maps isn’t good for GPS because it doesn’t have voice directions. this is incorrect.

  35. 35.

    Judas Escargot

    Speaking of D&D… I just took tomorrow off (we don’t get the holiday) so I could play Skyrim all day long.

    Ah, adulthood.

  36. 36.

    sukabi

    @Joel: that’s sickening… they’re probably hoping to keep the rest under wraps by firing Paterno & the U president….

  38. 38.

    IrishGirl

    My favs were:

    Bachmann’s equipment: Gay Husband

    Romney’s equipment: Prismatic Orb of Every Opinion (methinks he keeps the orb in his pants in place of his balls)

    Ron Pauls equipment: Randy Ron’s Sniz-atch Photo Album

    Gingrich deity: Butter

  39. 39.

    Gravenstone

    @Joel: Just reading that link description on mouseover makes me want to vomit. I fully expect to see dead bodies before all this is over.

  40. 40.

    KG

    @Reality Check: if Obama carried every state he did in 2008, he’d have 359 electoral votes. If he lost Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, he’d have 292, which is still more than the 270 needed to win. Here’s what’s facing the GOP in 2012:

    They have to win Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virgina, and North Carolina to get to 274 electoral votes.

    Oh, and they’d have to hold Arizona (currently trailing), Missouri (margin of error), and the mother load, Texas (Obama trails within the margin of error).

    Obama hasn’t even started campaigning in any serious manner. That does not bode well for the GOP because while they are getting all the attention, their frontrunner can’t get within spitting distance of 270 electoral votes.

    ETA: and yes, long way out, lot can happen, yadda yadda yadda…

  41. 41.

    Marc

    @KG:

    DougJ knows this. The real question is whether he’ll switch to another puppet now that we’re wise to him.

    Doug, we want more crazy for a convincing one! You have to come across as drooling and barely coherent. That’s the Republican party of today.

  44. 44.

    artem1s

    Somewhat OT, looks like the Dems in OH are going to the mattresses…

    The Democrats announced today they will propose an amendment to the Ohio constitution that would — for two years after a referendum vote — forbid lawmakers from passing laws that are “identical or substantially similar” to any rejected law, including SB 5.

    this to prevent a do-over on passing SB5 piecemeal and well, make the GOP look like the lackeys of the most reviled Governor in the history of the state of Ohio.

    2012 might actually turn out to be kinda fun after all.

  47. 47.

    Judas Escargot

    @KG:

    Obama hasn’t even started campaigning in any serious manner.

    And the debates, also, too. Last night’s fiesta was the closest thing to coherence we’ve seen thus far, and only Huntsman came off as someone sane with real policy ideas.

    Romney takes on this whiny, defensive demeanor whenever he’s challenged (he’s always been like this, at least since his 1996 debates against Sen. Kennedy). And while it’s easy to badmouth a sitting President when surrounded by friendlies, that tack isn’t likely to work on a one-on-one.

  48. 48.

    The Other Chuck

    Ok, I missed the original reference. Where did this “chicken fucking” meme originate from? I am so not going to google it.

  50. 50.

    Jay in Oregon

    @Yutsano:

    And somewhere in the other realms Gary Gygax chuckles.

    Some people think he went to Heaven, but I prefer to think that he rolled 2d10 and consulted a chart to find his final reward…

  52. 52.

    El Cid

    The Job Creators Strike Back! Class warfare drum circlers, beware!

    Conservative group: Elizabeth Warren supports violent, drug-using Occupy Wall Streeters
    __
    In a preview of a likely strategy to link Democratic candidates with the Occupy Wall Street movement, the conservative group Crossroads GPS released an attack ad Thursday taking aim at Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren.
    __
    The spot quotes Warren — a longtime consumer advocate who helped create a new federal agency to oversee consumer lending policy — voicing support for Occupy Wall Street.
    __
    It then goes on to explain that such backing equates to support for people who advocate drugs, violence, trashing public spaces and radical policies.
    __
    In the new Crossroads ad, Warren is heard saying of the Occupy Wall Street protesters, “I created much of the intellectual foundation for what they do” and “I support what they do.”
    __
    “Intellectual foundation for what?” the voiceover in the ad then asks.

    Reefer Madness Bolsheviks!

    Also, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

    A group of Middle Tennessee conservatives is suing a California businessman for $19 million, claiming he tricked them into investing in a sham business idea for a television network devoted to the tea party movement.
    __
    Among those suing is Bill Hemrick, the Brentwood millionaire who is the Tennessee financial director for Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann.
    __
    Hemrick has been active in tea party circles in Williamson County, helping to organize the National Tea Party Convention in Nashville in 2010 that was headlined by Sarah Palin. He worked briefly raising money for presidential candidate Herman Cain.

    It’s unfortunate, because I’d like to see the channel which views Fox News as insufficiently serving their TeaBircher needs.

  55. 55.

    Ahasuerus

    @The Other Chuck: Some 2 years ago, co-anchor Ernie Anastos on Fox affiliate WNYW in New York uttered, on air, “Keep fucking that chicken”, apparently without realizing what he had said. The look on his (female) co-anchor’s face was priceless. Youtube link.

  56. 56.

    Jay in Oregon

    @Joel:
    I was afraid that something like this might happen: if Sandusky was allowed to prey on young boys for years with no fear of repercussions, then it was just a matter of time before we found out that there was more to the story than just one man.

    IMO it was either going to be a child porn ring, or group of people taking advantage of the opportunity.

  60. 60.

    Dr. Squid

    @Ahasuerus: There was also the bookmobile owner on South Park who taught Officer Barbrady to read by using The Fountainhead, which made Officer Barbrady proclaim that reading is so boring he never wanted to do it again.

  65. 65.

    josephdietrich

    You know, Newt is a crapball, but isn’t that character sheet just a variation of the “Michael Moore is Fat!” joke/putdown? -1/unimpressed.

  66. 66.

    Herbal Infusion Bagger

    “Romney really should have a super-high dexterity score to flip-flop as gracefully as he does.”

    Romney’s class should be 2nd Ed. Acrobat.

    And Bachman’s alignment should be CN rather than CE. She’s nuts, not evil Limbo, not the Abyss. And her charisma should be a few points higher; while her views are repulsive, she isn’t personally as repulsive as Newt or Santorum.

    And Obama works out too much to have a ST of 5.

    /geek

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