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You are here: Home / Economics / Grifters Gonna Grift / A place in the sun, or maybe the misfits

A place in the sun, or maybe the misfits

by DougJ|  November 15, 20116:35 pm| 107 Comments

This post is in: Grifters Gonna Grift

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Nate Silver says the Gingrich boom may be real:

[T]he biggest piece of news here is Mr. Gingrich and his rise in the polls: he, Mr. Romney and Mr. Cain may now be in a rough three-way tie for the Republican polling lead. Polls certainly aren’t everything in a presidential primary, and for reasons I outlined earlier this week, Mr. Gingrich might have trouble maintaining his momentum as his campaign begins to receive more scrutiny. Still, it looks as if he’s going to enjoy his moment in the sun.

Conservative political analyst Stu Rothenberg sums this all up pretty well:

OK, I give up. I don’t know what the heck is going to happen in the Republican race.

[….]

Gingrich is the ultimate entrepreneur, which is not a bad thing in the Republican Party.

I still remember trailing him and former White House spokesman Tony Snow as the three of us walked to take our seats on a small stage at a speaking event a number of years ago.

Gingrich, as I recall, was giving advice to Snow, who had left government service because of his cancer, about the kinds of business deals that the former White House press secretary should consider. Gingrich rattled off a mind-boggling number of ventures and ideas, all of which he had already put into place for himself. I couldn’t help but be impressed by his creativity, but I recall being more than a little uncomfortable by his wheeler-dealer “Gingrich Inc.” approach.

Imagine who much grifting Newt can do in a prolonged primary. This could be the stuff of legends.

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Reader Interactions

107Comments

  1. 1.

    Omnes Omnibus

    November 15, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    From Here to Eternity…

  2. 2.

    David Koch

    November 15, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    Romney is already sending out mailers to Iowa reminding the fundies about Gingrich’s immoral personal life.

    And CNN reported that he doesn’t even have a single campaign office (not even a phone number) in the caucus state of Iowa.

  3. 3.

    MikeBoyScout

    November 15, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Romney, Cain and Gingrich and grifted Republicans – leading the revival of the popcorn industry.

  4. 4.

    Tom

    November 15, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    Might be my favorite song off the album.

  5. 5.

    Steeplejack

    November 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    @DougJ, @Omnes Omnibus:

    Suddenly, Last Summer. “What she saw was so horrible that she went insane. Now her mother wants her lobotomized to cover up the truth.”

    Pretty much nails the Republican Party right now.

  6. 6.

    Cat Lady

    November 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    Sarah Palin’s gotta be wondering how to get back in the game.

  7. 7.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    the thoughts are twirling around in my head . . .

  8. 8.

    MattF

    November 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    I’m starting to get the feeling that there’s a majority of Republicans who just don’t like Mitt Romney. And, as a matter of fact, I can see why.

  9. 9.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    @Cat Lady: I wonder if Pawlenty’s bright enough to realize how badly he blew it. Though I think Romney is probably a stronger general election candidate.

    Rothenberg. I wonder what non-partisan, centrist organization paid Newtie, Tony Snow and non-partisan Stu Rothenberg somewhere between 10 and 25K apiece (just guessing) to give them some fair and balanced analysis.

  10. 10.

    General Stuck

    November 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Looks like Newt has successfully tapped into a wingnut artery by bashing the press, in fairly brazen terms.

    If the dude gets the nom, he will have to rent a train to carry all his political/personal baggage around the country. I have no idea who the wingnuts will pick. These are hungry people, with a buffet of shit sandwiches to order up.

  11. 11.

    MikeJ

    November 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    @Cat Lady: A month past the IA filing deadline? Her only hope is a deadlocked convention.

  12. 12.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Gingrich might go over well with Villagers, but Romney’s on the right track by pointing to Newt’s pathetic track record of three marriages, each breaking up for him to “upgrade” his spousal unit to something more “befitting” a presidential candidate.

    The fact that he was screwing his current wife while divorcing his second, and at the same time was bemoaning Bill Clinton’s infidelities is telling.

    The church going people of Iowa may be suspicious of the Mormon, but Newt’s track record is, shall we say, imperfect.

  13. 13.

    Steeplejack

    November 15, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    Or maybe The Heiress. “A naïve young woman falls for a handsome young man who her emotionally abusive father suspects is a fortune hunter.”

    God, the GOP remake practically casts itself.

  14. 14.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    @Steeplejack: great analogy, except i’m not sure republicans have figured out the “sent went insane” and why part yet.

  15. 15.

    Amanda in the South Bay

    November 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    Oh dear Jeebus, Id do anything for a Newt win.

  16. 16.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 15, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    Gingrich and Romney have one thing in common: they don’t actually have any personal beliefs besides the idea that they are owed wealth and fame

  17. 17.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    great analogy, except i’m not sure republicans have figured out the “she went insane” and why part yet.

  18. 18.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 15, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    @General Stuck:

    Looks like Newt has successfully tapped into a wingnut artery by bashing the press, in fairly brazen terms.

    I think it’s more that the Rove/Romney ship is shooting gigantic holes in every other campaign but sighting/reloading takes time – Gingrich had to get “popular” (i.e. the same 20% or so as Romney) before they started to go to work on him.

    I think Gingrich is simply the only viable option left who hasn’t said crazy shit about science being real

  19. 19.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    PST BERKELEY — A man with a gun was shot and wounded by police today at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business, officials said.

    The man was brandishing a handgun when he was shot by a law-enforcement officer at about 2:15 p.m., said university spokesman Dan Mogulof. He would not say if campus police were involved.

    Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/11/15/BA4U1LVL80.DTL#ixzz1dp01IPRZ

  20. 20.

    les

    November 15, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    As I sit here in Kansas City getting robocalls from Cain and Gingrich, I have to admire the Newtster getting the most for his money. The calls don’t actually say anything. At all. Just Newt 2012 on the caller ID. If you’re going to call somebody in a state that won’t likely matter, that’s the way to go.

  21. 21.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Shooter at UC Berkeley.

  22. 22.

    gocart mozart

    November 15, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    Final delegate count: Romney 45%; Newt 35%; Cain 20%. Newt and cain form an alliance and throw the Mittster under the clown car. Newt/Cain 2012! You heard it here first.

  23. 23.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 15, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    I can’t imagine Newtie will survive media scrutiny, and I have no idea how Rove, the KochBro$ and the other rich money people feel about him, but I could absolutely see him taking the Veep spot. All that free media and no responsibility? It’s got his name all over it. And I can’t imagine anything i’d wish on President Romney more than a Vice President Gingrich.

  24. 24.

    Liberty60

    November 15, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    @MikeJ:
    You lack imagination, my friend.

    Sarah! correctly intuits that America! needs her guidance and flies posthaste to Iowa, where she declares that the Lamestream Media and Crony Capitalism boys club of the Rino party won’t keep her from saving the conservative heritage of America! and demands that they open up the nomination process to Sarah!and her brand of common sense wisdom.

    Of course, this is only possible if good hard wurkin Murkins such as yourself pitch in with a cash donation so that lil Trig won’t have to see his toys sold off to keep the home fire burnin’.

    Act now with your $50.00 pledge to Sarah!PAC, and you will recieve an official Sarah! Abraham Lincoln Commemorative Medallion*.

    *Al Franken was a goddamned prophet.

  25. 25.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    But how does Erick Ewickson feel?

  26. 26.

    jl

    November 15, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Once again, Gingrich emerges from the billowing smoke

    John Lithgow Performs Gingrich Press Release


    http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/387033/may-19-2011/john-lithgow-performs-gingrich-press-release

  27. 27.

    JGabriel

    November 15, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    I don’t know whether Josh Marshall has a good record on prognostication or not, but he posted his two cents on Gingrich at TPM this morning:

    The big problem for Newt is that Republican power brokers will not let him within 30 miles of the Republican nomination. A win is just too close. Why throw that away on someone as toxic, erratic and unpopular as Newt? Newt is a creature of the conservative Id, churning with resentment and provocation. Someone like Mitt can learn the buzzwords. But it’s Newt’s world. He half created it. Mitt may have to live there with him for the next several months. But politically Gingrich has never able to live outside of that world. In the end, he won’t beat Mitt because he can’t beat Obama.

    .

  28. 28.

    Zifnab25

    November 15, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    I have no idea why people keep thinking Iowa matters so much. The state gave the nod to Mike Huckabee in ’08 and has run Steve Forbes, Pat Buchanan, and Pat Robertson as ranked contenders in the past.

    Ask who is polling well in South Carolina and Florida. South Carolina hasn’t missed picking the Republican nominee in something like 100 years. Florida is a state with enough electoral votes to make someone care. All this Iowa wankery will do is convince Rick Santorum and John Huntsman that they should watch the New Hampshire returns on TV.

  29. 29.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Uz-beki-beki-stan-stan turned around and bit Herman Cain in the ass.

  30. 30.

    dmsilev

    November 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    @Cat Lady:

    Sarah Palin’s gotta be wondering how to get back in the game.

    I was just thinking that.

    I read somewhere that the Iowa caucuses don’t have a filing deadline per se, so in principle all she needs to do is show up and have a bunch of people be wowed by her starbursts. Then, run as a write-in in NH and whatever other early states that the filing deadline has passed, which lets you spin just about any result. Following that, ride to victory across the South and West.

    Theoretically possible, but would require a very focused campaign and a lot of work. Therefore, not going to happen.

  31. 31.

    Cat Lady

    November 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    @MattF:

    It’s schadenfreudelicous that Willard must start every day saying to himself, “what am I, chopped liver? What do I have to do and say now to con these stupid rubes into supporting me?”

  32. 32.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    @Zifnab25: What do you want to talk about Duke vs Michigan State? :)

  33. 33.

    jl

    November 15, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    @Raven: @Raven:

    Looks like the man brandishing a gun was wounded by police and taken to hospital before he could do any damage.

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/11/15/BA4U1LVL80.DTL

  34. 34.

    lamh35

    November 15, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I just don’t understand why the village consider Newt Gingrich a “smart guy”

    Newt Is Dumb

    From a linguist’s perspective, John McWhorter explains that Newt Gingrich is not smart (“you’ll find that he’s using artfully constructed rhetoric to cloak ideas that are simply wrong”):

    “Gingrich’s patterns of speech are largely analytically acute, and sometimes aesthetically interesting, but substantively, they are very often lacking. Language is supposed to be a package that carries substance, but Gingrich is sometimes so pleased with his uninterrupted stream of words, that he mistakes it for an actual flow of ideas.”

    Only in Washington could such a half-baked, narcissistic, know-nothing blowhard be regarded as an intellectual.

  35. 35.

    Calouste

    November 15, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Iowa allows “write-in” candidates during the caucus. And with the way the Iowa cuacus works, Palin as a write-in could actually pick up quite a few votes. Of course, primaries will be harder, and I don’t know if all of them allow write-ins, but if Palin were to jump in late, it would be so much all over the news that she would hardly have to campaign. And of course writing in “Palin” is a lot easier than writing in “Murkowski”.

  36. 36.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    @lamh35:

    I just don’t understand why the village consider Newt Gingrich a “smart guy”

    Because he’s just like their shallow, vapid, airheaded selves?

  37. 37.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Good to know that molestations of kids in football program aren’t limited to college programs!

    At least in this case, race is involved.

    Benjamin Crump, the lawyer who handled Ogletree’s case against Fitzpatrick and the Boston Red Sox, said the similarities between the Penn State and Red Sox scandals are startlingly similar. There were cover-ups, denials and the enabling of pedophiles to use the power of their institutions to prey on the weak, in the Red Sox case, “poor black boys,” he said. The kinds of youth often considered society’s “throwaways.”
    __
    “You have these sports institutions; you have all these people of authority; you have all this public support for these institutions and hear talk about what great institutions they are, but then when you ask them to do the right thing and have compassion for these young people, the institutions deny, deny, deny,” said Crump, of Parks & Crump. “They sweep it under the rug and they look the other way.”
    __
    According to reports, former Red Sox players such as Jim Rice and Sammy Stewart got wind of Fitzpatrick’s deeds and would warn kids in the clubhouse to avoid him. In 1971, one of Fitzpatrick’s victims came forward to the team, and in a manner similar to Penn State’s handling of the Sandusky allegations, the team did not alert authorities or fire Fitzpatrick.
    __
    But supporters for Ogletree and the other men who settled in the case, who have become known as the Winter Haven seven, wonder how race and class might have played in the team’s inaction once they got a whiff of what Fitzpatrick might have been up to.
    __
    “These kids came from impoverished backgrounds and many times, no father. Fitzpatrick used that to his advantage and preyed on these kids that were poor,” Crump said. “The one thing that I do think is not similar to the Penn State situation is that with the Boston Red Sox case, they had 11 kids and they were all black, almost as if they wouldn’t let this happen to little white boys.”

  38. 38.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    i cannot believe what the republican party and the republican presidential race has become. you simply can not make this shit up. it’s like a really awful failed sitcom that keeps playing and playing

  39. 39.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 15, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Ok, the GoogleAds are getting pretty silly.

    One is for “Politico Bookshelf”.

    Another is your “Number One Source of Penn State clothing and merchandise.”

    Geeze…..

  40. 40.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    @El Cid: Guess what, it’s not limited to any arena.

  41. 41.

    Calouste

    November 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    @Zifnab25:

    Whichever non-Romney is going to win Iowa is going to get a huge boost going into South Carolina (Romney seems to have a lock on New Hampshire). We know the GOP is looking for a non-Romney candidate, so they will line up behind whoever gets some momentum going, and that momentum starts in Iowa. And Romney is not going to win South Carolina.

  42. 42.

    feebog

    November 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    I just wrote a fairly exhaustive analysis of the Republican Primary Process (all aboard the Crazy Train, leaving Iowa on January 3rd). I have come to the conclusion that Mittens does not have this thing sewed up at all. The delegation process is crazy skewed towards conservative states (Utah gets as many delegates as Mass. with 1/3 the population). Plus, six states have pushed thier primaries up and will (supposedly) be penalized 50% of their delegates. Plus, even more importantly, delegates will be awarded proportionally until April 1. Thats 29 states, including some heavy hitters like Texas and Georgia that must award proportionally. The whole process is exactly what you would expect from the Republican party, fucked up beyond all recognition.

  43. 43.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    @Calouste: He’ll be lucky to get out of there with his secret underwear.

  44. 44.

    Tom Hilton

    November 15, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    @JGabriel: The big question this year is whether the Republican power brokers are actually powerful enough to nominate a candidate 70% of the GOP primary voters really don’t like. And if they aren’t, then you can’t rule out Gingrich. Or one of the other unelectables. The problem they have is that electability as they read it is simply a dealbreaker for a majority of the primary voters.

  45. 45.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    @jl: Stephen Colbert is a fucking national treasure. I had forgotten that.

    Also, I think Lithgow would do a fascinating portrayal of Limbaugh.

  46. 46.

    General Stuck

    November 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    The GOP race can easily be described as a race to the bottom, or who bottoms out first, with flaws that can be swallowed by the conservatives, that populate the majority of republicans these days. If not in numbers, at least in energy, and likely voting habits. Romney seems stuck at a ceiling of support he can’t crawl past. I suspect it is his Mormonism, but could also be his near complete lack of deeply held beliefs that make the wingers tiny hearts go a flutter. Perry has turned out to be a fruit loop, as has Cain and the others. Newt might just catch the bouquet when the clowns kiss, and become the wingnut bride elect. But who knows. I swear, sometimes it seems that Romney is the only one who wants to run against Obama, and the rest are doing standup and would rather do about anything other than face the chance of getting beat by Obama.

  47. 47.

    Cat Lady

    November 15, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    @harlana:

    Yeah, this. Across the board, there’s an assault on facts and reality perpetrated by conservatives abetted by the lazy media wanting horse race entertainment, and I think the outcome of reality prevailing is in doubt. Heckuva job, Both Sides Do It Media!

  48. 48.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    OT, but the Costas interview is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard, and damning as hell.

  49. 49.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    @Raven: I know, that’s part of the joke. On the other hand, I say, in for a penny, in for a pound, let’s have ourselves a full-on molestathon of revelations if it’s what it’s going to take.

  50. 50.

    David Koch

    November 15, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    @Raven:

    He’ll be lucky to get out of there with his secret magic underwear.

    /fixed

  51. 51.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    @Cat Lady: and yet i can’t look away, with champagne glass in hand, it’s like the train wreck of the century

  52. 52.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    @harlana: I’m still avoiding it. Transcript’s enough.

  53. 53.

    Davis X. Machina

    November 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    @lamh35: That’s John McWhorter. Genus: Very Serious Person. (TNR, Manhattan Institute) Species: Post-Racial

    He’s positively with child to back a Republican, so that his even-handedness and putting principle above party can be admired by the Village, and dammit, they just won’t offer one up that he take seriously.

  54. 54.

    soonergrunt

    November 15, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    I’m not sure I’m in Oklahoma City, at the moment.
    The city council has passed sexual orientation protection for city employees, by a vote of seven to two this morning.

  55. 55.

    Davis X. Machina

    November 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    @Tom Hilton: That 70% figure may not be what it seems, at least per Jonathan Bernstein.

  56. 56.

    Cat Lady

    November 15, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    @harlana:

    Jeebus, this too. WTF? Why did his lawyer think anything about that creepy display of sickitude helped his client? Is it all about tainting the jury pool? Will there be anyone other than pedophiles left in PA that will think this guy isn’t a sick fuck?

  57. 57.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    @El Cid: Take for what? The cover-ups may be more preventable because of this but the sickness is another thing altogether (which, obviously, you already know).

  58. 58.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    @El Cid: i feel like i need a shower

  59. 59.

    Martin

    November 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    @Tom Hilton:

    The big question this year is whether the Republican power brokers are actually powerful enough to nominate a candidate 70% of the GOP primary voters really don’t like.

    Well, we don’t really know that.

    Again I point out that this is the problem with not having preferential voting and not having polling that matches. Mitt could be the #1 choice for 20% of the electorate and the #2 choice for 80% (with no other candidate getting > 20%), which would suggest that he’s a lock for the nomination.

    Once you start removing choices from voters, by candidates dropping out or otherwise soiling themselves publicly, we’re left with NO information on how voters will re-rank. And that’s just profoundly negligent of any polling operation.

  60. 60.

    eemom

    November 15, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    1. Not a fan of Joan Walsh, but I liked how she said of Newt “His baggage has baggage.”

    2. Not a fan of GG either (to put it mildly), but I liked the intro to his post today about Bloomberg busting up OWS.

    3. Did y’all see the Politico post earlier about who Herman Cain would pick for his SoS??

    Guess! G’wan, guess!!

    Thinking likely suspects from the W admin? Noooope. Go back a few decades.

    Noooope. Further back.

  61. 61.

    MBunge

    November 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    I’d much rather have Newt than Romney as both candidate and President.

    I’d rather have him as a candidate because there will be no bullshit about things then. I’ve already seen more than one liberal pundit start to float the idea that Romney might not be all that bad. I don’t want any whiny lefty who got their fee-fee’s hurt by Barack Obama to be able to lie to themselves about what 2012 is all about.

    I’d rather have him as President because he’s too much of an arrogant dick to totally kowtow to the rightwing machine and he’s so in love with his own intellect that he’d actually want to accomplish something in office.

    Mike

  62. 62.

    MBunge

    November 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    @Martin: “Again I point out that this is the problem with not having preferential voting”

    And the European systems that practice preferential voting have produced such superior leadership, haven’t they? Why, just look at how much better the Eurons are handling this whole global financial crisis.

    Mike

  63. 63.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Gingrich is a lying, cheating, faux-intellectual, washed-up sack of shit with a fucking half million $ revolving credit line at Tiffany’s. I’d love to have him as the nominee.

  64. 64.

    Calouste

    November 15, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    @Martin:

    we’re left with NO information on how voters will re-rank.

    Oh yes we do. The polling over the last few shows that voters will jump from one non-Romney to another non-Romney, but not to Romney. We’ve had 4 non-Romney turn up and flame out (Trump, Bachmann, Perry and Cain), and Romney hasn’t profited from any of them.

  65. 65.

    DougJ

    November 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    @eemom:

    Kissinger?

  66. 66.

    soonergrunt

    November 15, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    @eemom: well?

    ETA: Jesus H. Christ.
    Kissinger? Really? Does the State Department have a plane with a wheelchair lift and oxygen tanks?

  67. 67.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    @Raven: ‘Take’ to expose many more of these industrialized molestation complexes.

  68. 68.

    Gex

    November 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    @soonergrunt: I wonder if it is an attempt to inspire some sort of legislative effort to nullify it (see TN) and help boost turn out next year.

    I can’t help feeling like a conspiracy nut saying that. But the thing is, it’s a thing the GOP would actually do.

  69. 69.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    @El Cid: I’ll vote for that.

  70. 70.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Rachel Swan had a good article in the East Bay Express on the Black Bloc riding in to the Occupy Oakland arena to demonstrate urgently-needed skills such as building occupations, street barricades, and window-threatening.

  71. 71.

    DougJ

    November 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    @harlana:

    I had to turn it off. Costas is a very good interviewer, I’ll say that. Give him a Sunday show.

  72. 72.

    Simmelicious

    November 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    [H]e, Mr. Romney and Mr. Cain may now be in a rough three-way
    I stopped there, and luckily made it to the bathroom.

    Why does anyone take this prolonged “So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good Night” act seriously? The GOP is lying on the subway floor with Agent Luntz, and it hears the sound of inevitability. But to keep the “Some Folk’ll Never Burn a Cross, But Then Again Some Folk’ll” yokels engrossed, we have to pretend a new candidate each week is the real frontrunner.

    “Oh look, it’s Booby McWolfshoot deciding not to run (up the staircase.) Welp, there goes Crazy Eyes Vanillah with her vaccination literature (humps banister, Marcus pushes her up). Without further ado, here’s a lethal injection of charisma from Texas, who will win for three reasons: um, never mind (he shoots pistols to propel him up stairs). Wait a minute, lo and behold, here’s the “We’re Not Racist, and Besides He Makes Great Rice” candidate LEADING THE RACE– oh wait, 9-9-9 is his rating of 3 women he harassed (has a blond lead him up and away.) Alright, folks, here’s our last act, Mr. “In Sickness and In Health” himself, Professor Newtie! He’s read two Toffler books and some WWII comics– those media idiots just can’t keep up with him!! Oh right, everyone hates him (Tiffany’s rep yanks him up with a silver cane).”

    (Chris Matthews) “Can you believe it, folks? Can you believe it? What say you, Luke Russert?” “Chris, Romney has somehow pulled off the nomination. And his Dad didn’t even die during the primaries!”

    Wake me up next July.

  73. 73.

    Calouste

    November 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    @MBunge:

    Preferential voting is only used in parliamentary elections within the EU in Ireland and Malta.

  74. 74.

    soonergrunt

    November 15, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    @Gex: I don’t think that the city council would work like that, but I wouldn’t put it past whackjobs in the state senate or the house.
    Or the whackjob in the governor’s mansion, for that matter.

  75. 75.

    JPL

    November 15, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    @Raven: The powers that be are going to introduce a bill requiring all license plates to say in god we trust. May the representative that introduces the bill be required to drive around 285 and drive north and south on 85 and 75. Sometimes god can’t help.
    Also, too..They want a personhood amendment..

  76. 76.

    brettvk

    November 15, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    I’ve gotten the impression that neither Cain nor Gingrich have bothered to set up the state-by-state infrastructure necessary for a serious run at the nomination, and that’s why some observers have dismissed their efforts as enhanced book tours. Am I wrong about this?

  77. 77.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    @JPL: And drug testing public assistance folks.

  78. 78.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    @soonergrunt: Howabout a trapdoor and a set of welding tanks? That count?

  79. 79.

    Gex

    November 15, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    @soonergrunt: That’s what happened in TN. Memphis passed so protections, some the state legislature passed something that banned that. So they’ve had a chance to see that tactic in action.

    ETA: I’m sure we’ll see soon enough.

  80. 80.

    JPL

    November 15, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    @harlana: Why didn’t they air this part?

    19:00:28:00: “But isn’t what you’re just describing the classic MO of many pedophiles? And that is that they gain the trust of young people, they don’t necessarily abuse every young person. There were hundreds, if not thousands of young boys you came into contact with, but there are allegations that at least eight of them were victimized. Many people believe there are more to come. So it’s entirely possible that you could’ve helped young boy A in some way that was not objectionable while horribly taking advantage of young boy B, C, D, and E. Isn’t that possible?”
    JERRY SANDUSKY:……………………………………..
    19:01:01:00: “Well — you might think that. I don’t know. (LAUGHS) In terms of — my relationship with so many, many young people. I would– I would guess that there are many young people who would come forward. Many more young people who would come forward and say that my methods and– and what I had done for them made a very positive impact on their life. And I didn’t go around seeking out every young person for sexual needs that I’ve helped. There are many that I didn’t have– I hardly had any contact with who I have helped in many, many ways.”……………………..

  81. 81.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    Be him ever so humble.

    You see, Gingrich’s biggest error was in ever thinking he had made an error.

    In a CNN interview that aired Tuesday afternoon, Newt Gingrich explains his political comeback:

    I think that it was a big mistake on my part to try to bring in conventional consultants, because I am, much like Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, I’m such an unconventional political figure, that you really design a very unique campaign that fits the way I operate and what I’m trying to do.

  82. 82.

    Cat Lady

    November 15, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    @DougJ:

    I’m sure there were a couple of other questions he wished he would have asked instead, thinking back on it today. It was just such a weird interview in so many ways, considering it was kind of sprung on him, he elicited a lot of damning info. A question I would have asked him is, what does “horsing around” mean, and why are you showering with a young boy at night in an empty gym before spring break when you believed no one was around? For starters. The whole story is beyond belief, and I have this sickening feeling that there will be such a circus that somehow he won’t be found guilty either.

  83. 83.

    KG

    November 15, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    @gocart mozart: since a brokered convention has not happened in my life time, I’m not sure the exact rules, but as I understand it, the delegates are bound to their candidate on the first ballot. After that, they are free to vote their conscious. I have a feeling that if we actually have a brokered convention (and before anyone says it can’t happen, just remember what was said about impeachment, 2000, California’s recall, and Obama, just to name a few), that we’d see a few non-candidates jump in…

  84. 84.

    Atticus Dogsbody

    November 15, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    he, Mr. Romney and Mr. Cain may now be in a rough three-way

    Cruel and unusual…

  85. 85.

    cathyx

    November 15, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    @JPL:That was my question earlier today. Why did they edit out such pertinent parts?

  86. 86.

    JPL

    November 15, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    @Raven: The repubs are afraid the wackos won’t vote so they have to include the personhood amendment just to get them to the polls if Romney is the candidate.
    I can’t even tell you how repulsed I am about testing for drugs and alcohol.

  87. 87.

    KG

    November 15, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    @El Cid: um, I’m pretty sure Reagan and Thatcher were fairly conventional political figures within their respective systems.

  88. 88.

    doofus

    November 15, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    @brettvk: That’s why my money is still on Perry as the not-Romney who’ll be left standing once voting begins.

  89. 89.

    El Cid

    November 15, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    @JPL: This quickly got into ‘well I’d write this for my characters but people would complain it was too exaggeratedly unreal’ territory. If it weren’t reality, it’d be something some sort of Borat or Arrested Development or South Park moment.

  90. 90.

    t jasper parnell

    November 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    @Steeplejack: You know he was a fortune hunter, which was sort of the point: between the wretched dad and the worthless suitor they ruined the poor girl.

  91. 91.

    harlana

    November 15, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    @JPL: it was aired

  92. 92.

    Raven

    November 15, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    @JPL: There is no asshole legislation than someone in Georgia won’t introduce.

  93. 93.

    Steeplejack

    November 15, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    @Atticus Dogsbody:

    Phrasing! [Archer]

    ETA: I love YouTube.

  94. 94.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 15, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    @David Koch: It’s both magic and secret, so you and stuckinred are each correct. Heh.

  95. 95.

    rikyrah

    November 15, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    see the thing about Newt…just what ‘surprise’ do you think would come out about Newt that would sink him?

    if you still support him after knowing how he treated his first 2 wives like garbage, then, truly, there’s nothing else to tell you, because you’re the kind that would support any sociopath

  96. 96.

    WereBear (itouch)

    November 15, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    The only quality that would bother the base is that intelekshul thing he does.

  97. 97.

    Ruckus

    November 15, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    @harlana:
    That can be taken on different levels.

  98. 98.

    Dave S.

    November 15, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Imagine who much grifting Newt can do in a prolonged primary. This could be the stuff of legends.

    Actually I think actual grifting might take a slight hit during the primaries since the accounting will have to be a bit more careful, thanks to the jackbooted thugs at the FEC.

    However, the exposure will probably give him a boost for post-primary grifting. Hell, anyone attending his concession speech (campaign over!) will probably have to pay to leave the room (back to grifting!). Those diamonds and Greek vacations aren’t going to pay for themselves…

  99. 99.

    Dream On

    November 15, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Jeb Bush time?

  100. 100.

    eemom

    November 15, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    @Dream On:

    Jeb? Hell, at this point I’d put money on Poppy Bush.

    No term limit issue THERE, tee hee.

    AND, he has that “not dead” advantage over Reagan.

  101. 101.

    catclub

    November 15, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    @JPL: Wow, given the vote in frickin MISSISSIPPI against it, this plan might not be all they think it is. I would guess that it motivated a substantial number of democrats to vote against. Consider that there were statewide races with no or virtually no democrat running.

  102. 102.

    catclub

    November 15, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    @rikyrah: And yet, just like Giuliani, the more Newt campaigns, the less the voters like him. The greek vacation was his best shot.

  103. 103.

    montana

    November 15, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    Nate Silver was wrong about Herman Cain’s staying power. Nate Silver may be getting a little full of himself and his reading of data.

  104. 104.

    pseudonymous in nc

    November 15, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    The church going people of Iowa may be suspicious of the Mormon, but Newt’s track record is, shall we say, imperfect.

    On the denominational line, let’s think for a moment about how Newt was recently welcomed into the Catholic Church. Yes, after an extended period of dealing with clerical child abusers, thrice-married serial adulterers are what they’re looking for these days. (Cradle Catholics are brought up, for the most part, to trust neither bishops nor converts.)

  105. 105.

    maryQ

    November 16, 2011 at 12:20 am

    practically pissing my pants in anticipation of the verbal fellating that Newt is going to get from David Brooks round about, say, December 10.

  106. 106.

    chopper

    November 16, 2011 at 10:42 am

    @Atticus Dogsbody:

    green balloons!

  107. 107.

    Jimmy Jazz

    November 16, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Shout out for one of the more obscure Clash songs as a post title. Hilariously, the only thing the liner notes for the Clash box set say about The Right Profile is that the band have absolutely no recollection of recording it.

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