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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

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Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

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… gradually, and then suddenly.

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The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

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One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Let me file that under fuck it.

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You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / David Brooks Giving A Seminar At The Aspen Institute / Paperback writer

Paperback writer

by DougJ|  November 17, 201110:40 am| 120 Comments

This post is in: David Brooks Giving A Seminar At The Aspen Institute

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I heard it mentioned the other day that Newt Gingrich has written 23 books, so I tried to find some information about them online and stumbled across this thorough summary:

Reading the Gingrich catalog, you get used to intimations — or are they threats? — of Armageddon. Windows are slamming shut, or are just about to, all over the place, all the time. “Time is running out,” he wrote toward the end of “Window of Opportunity,” 27 years ago. It’s no wonder that Washington thinks he’s so smart: Gingrich was panicky before panicky was cool. The political class runs on his kind of excitement, as one crisis of the century succeeds another, week by week. Politics on its own terms is so boring — decades of the same issues, the same interests, the same charges of heartlessness against Republicans and of profligacy against Democrats — that attention has to be stoked by artificial means.

[….]

After escaping the crossroads through the window, the reader follows the first chapter of this first book as it rushes into a discussion of the sclerotic technology of the welfare state circa 1984, the lengthening American life span, the futurist Alvin Toffler, space tourism, newfangled telephones, organic farming, the exercise boom, the return of apprenticeships, the decentralization of higher education, the rise of Methodism in Britain and the Third Great Awakening in America, Disraeli’s kinky sexual arrangements before he cleaned up his act, the Berkeley Free Speech Movement, historical revisionism, Idi Amin, Jimmy Carter’s bungling of the Ayatollah, the future of Gabon and his, Gingrich’s, daughter’s year off in France.

[….]

Gingrich’s vagueness was always a problem, but the books show something more: a near-total lack of interest in the political implementation of his grand ideas — a lack of interest, finally, in politics at its most mundane and consequential level.

What fascinates me about Newt is that his intellectual shtick, as poorly done as it is, worked so well on establishment media types, e.g. Joe Klein:

It’s almost always a joy listening to Gingrich when he’s on a tear. And he’s almost always on a tear of some sort. I caught up with Newt as he wandered around New Hampshire last week, which is what people who think they’re running for President do. Please, God, no, you say. Not that angry guy again. “He’s probably carrying too much baggage to be President,” said Peter Bergin, a Republican state representative from Amherst, N.H. “But he sure is a terrific idea man. He needs to be part of the debate.”

Absolutely. We might even create a new federal position to accommodate him, sort of like party ideologist in the old Soviet Union, except that the U.S. job would be the opposite of what it was in the U.S.S.R. Instead of imposing orthodoxy, the party idea-ologist—ideology is so un-American—would propose unorthodoxy. Gingrich was certainly wild with ideas last week, flicking them off at warp speed, like a dog shaking himself clean after romping through a pond.

Our public dialog is so far removed from anything with a shred of intellectual content that the delusional musings of a snake-oil salesman register as brilliant and exciting.

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120Comments

  1. 1.

    redshirt

    November 17, 2011 at 10:43 am

    “In the Kingdom of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King.”

    Also, Newtmentum!

  2. 2.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    November 17, 2011 at 10:45 am

    What fascinates me about Newt is that his intellectual shtick, as poorly done as it is, worked so well on establishment media types, e.g. Joe Klein:

    Hell, don’t they still treat Cantor like some sort of superwonk?

  3. 3.

    dmsilev

    November 17, 2011 at 10:46 am

    You’ve got to wonder what it’s like being Mitt Romney and watching one after another in a long series of fools and charlatans rocketing above him in the polls and than inevitably flaming out like Icarus in a blast furnace, only to be replaced by the next in line.

    Sweet, sweet schadenfreude.

  4. 4.

    cleek

    November 17, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Instead of imposing orthodoxy, the party idea-ologist—ideology is so un-American—would propose unorthodoxy.

    so, he’s a radical.

  5. 5.

    bin Lurkin'

    November 17, 2011 at 10:48 am

    @redshirt:

    “In the Kingdom of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King.”

    Erasmus was a flaming optimist, in the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is thought to be mad.

  6. 6.

    The Moar You Know

    November 17, 2011 at 10:50 am

    We might even create a new federal position to accommodate him

    Right. We’ll spend tax dollars to support a man who preaches that taxation is evil. What a note-perfect example of the depths of pathological insanity that is American political discourse in the second decade of the 21st century.

    Our cultural discourse increasingly resembles the output of a defective spambot. Words strung together that superficially make sense, but when examined actually make no sense at all.

  7. 7.

    Hunter Gathers

    November 17, 2011 at 10:50 am

    As long as you are a white conservative, it doesn’t matter how much of a fuck-up of a loser you are, you will always be in good standing with our Village Media Idiots. And speaking of idiots like JokeLine, you should see the virtual orgasm Micheal Scherer has over the new Perry ‘Me Talk Pretty One Day’ ad.

  8. 8.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 10:50 am

    I think the Village and their gibberish is as big problem as the GOP is. Sully has been spouting unmitigated rubbish about the economy, taxes, deficit etc. It is obvious he has no clue about what he is pontificating.

  9. 9.

    lamh31

    November 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Slightly OT, but since we are talking about the GOP candidates who flame out, I came across this on MSNBC’s FIRST READ this morning:

    Perry says Obama ‘grew up in a privileged way’

    Really! Really! Is musta been so easy being a bi-racial child to a white teenage mother, who African immigrant father left him and his mother who was at one point receiving food stamps and who was later raised by his maternal grandmother/grandfather in Kansas and finally in a small apartment in Hawaii.

    That’s what I’d call “privileged”. Ugh! The fear and delusion that this President somehow “provokes” in the GOP is disgustingly racial and really PO’s me!

  10. 10.

    cleek

    November 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

    @dmsilev:
    and he’s playing it very well – he keeps himself out of the day-to-day drama that has destroyed all the others. he just keeps plugging along, head down, one step at a time, confident that he’ll be the last man standing.

  11. 11.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik: Is it because he is Jewish or because he wears glasses?

  12. 12.

    khead

    November 17, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Newt is bold.

  13. 13.

    Punchy

    November 17, 2011 at 10:53 am

    There’s a very good reason we call Joe Klein “Joke Line”.

  14. 14.

    Hunter Gathers

    November 17, 2011 at 10:54 am

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik:

    Hell, don’t they still treat Cantor like some sort of superwonk?

    They have to. If they point out how much of an over-educated idiot he is, they’ll have to deal with a few million cries of ‘anti-semite!’. And so we have to continue suffering from the exploits of the World’s Only Redneck Jewish Politician.

  15. 15.

    Dr.BDH

    November 17, 2011 at 10:54 am

    We might even create a new federal position to accommodate him…

    Secretary of Bullshit Gingrich.

  16. 16.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I wonder what his wives saw in Newt he looks like a toad and is pudgy. He doesn’t strike me as particularly engaging either, he is so full of himself. If he is the nominee just think how dough boy will look next to the lithe and tall Obama.

  17. 17.

    kindness

    November 17, 2011 at 10:55 am

    Go Newtie! I see Republicans really want to re-elect President Obama as they keep throwing these empty suits up there as their mancrush of the moment.

    More power to them.

    @schrodinger’s cat: Maybe hung?

  18. 18.

    liberal

    November 17, 2011 at 10:58 am

    What fascinates me about Newt is that his intellectual shtick, as poorly done as it is, worked so well on establishment media types, e.g. Joe Klein:

    That’s cuz those types aren’t very intelligent, or at least don’t have much intellectual depth.

    They rose to their positions because of particular skills:
    * ability to write catchy prose on deadline
    * ability to chase down human sources (documentary sources, a la I. F. Stone, not so much)
    * in many cases, ability to suck up to publishers, etc

    You could be pretty strong in those regards and completely weak in much else, with no attendant intellectual depth whatsoever.

  19. 19.

    wormtown

    November 17, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Thank you! I had to shut NPR off this am. I turned it on in the middle of a piece about Newt. They were doing exactly this. I think I’ll send them a letter instead of a pledge.

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    November 17, 2011 at 10:59 am

    @cleek: And there’s a pretty good chance that it will work for him. Still, “We settled for Mitt Romney” is hardly an inspiring campaign slogan.

  21. 21.

    JR

    November 17, 2011 at 11:02 am

    For all this talk about what an “ideas man” he is…can anyone, ANYONE, name ANY new governing idea Newt Gingrich has had in fifteen years?

  22. 22.

    Chris

    November 17, 2011 at 11:02 am

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I wonder what his wives saw in Newt

    Just a guess – money and power.

  23. 23.

    cleek

    November 17, 2011 at 11:02 am

    @dmsilev:
    they’ll come around. a bowl of moldy goat testes could win, and they’d have themselves convinced of its fine intellect and upright moral character in a day or two. the alternative is Obama, after all.

  24. 24.

    c u n d gulag

    November 17, 2011 at 11:03 am

    23 books!

    Yeah, but how many did he read?

    And I’m not counting collections of Penthouse Forums.

    Over-under – 15.

  25. 25.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    November 17, 2011 at 11:03 am

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” – Henry Kissinger

    Probably the only honest thing that war criminal ever said.

    Having spent far too much time in my previous life up on Capital Hill, there’s a reason it’s stuffed to the gills with the hottest women on the planet.

  26. 26.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 11:03 am

    @kindness:Eeewww brain bleach plz. My guess, perhaps because dough boy has a lot of dough?

  27. 27.

    atlliberal

    November 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Can someone please name one original idea that Newt has come up with in the last 20 years?

    Tax cuts don’t count. Neither does calling the President or Democrats in general names.

    The fact that he can talk in complete sentences and use big words in the right places on occasion, does not make him an “idea man”

  28. 28.

    Chuck Derperton

    November 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Money dear boy.

  29. 29.

    Zifnab

    November 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

    What fascinates me about Newt is that his intellectual shtick, as poorly done as it is, worked so well on establishment media types

    In an alternate universe, Newt Gingrich is the taxi cab driver Tom Friedman keeps on speed dial.

  30. 30.

    cleek

    November 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

    @c u n d gulag:
    just FYI, Google has scanned dozens of volumes of Penthouse Forum into its on-line book browsing thing. amazingly, every entry sounds like it was written by the exact same person. it’s hilarious.

  31. 31.

    r€nato

    November 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: can’t speak for the first wife… for the other two… for some women, power and money are often more attractive than a great face and bod.

  32. 32.

    Comrade Javamanphil

    November 17, 2011 at 11:07 am

    @Hunter Gathers: He does seem to work himself into a bit of a lather over that authentic folksy speechifying of Perry’s. If only Perry had shot a gun at something in that ad, it would be game set and match.

  33. 33.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 11:08 am

    @r€nato: Forget his physical attractiveness or the lack there of. He just seems like a mean person too full of himself. In short I can’t see any redeeming qualities in Newt the man, not Newt the powerful power broker/politician.

  34. 34.

    Chris

    November 17, 2011 at 11:08 am

    @atlliberal:

    Can someone please name one original idea that Newt has come up with in the last 20 years? Tax cuts don’t count. Neither does calling the President or Democrats in general names. The fact that he can talk in complete sentences and use big words in the right places on occasion, does not make him an “idea man”

    Makes for a perfect High Priest of Ideology, though.

  35. 35.

    Walker

    November 17, 2011 at 11:10 am

    I blame Newt for popularizing the latest Clancy-style subgenre of EMP weapon strikes.

  36. 36.

    ajr22

    November 17, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Joan Didion’s 1995 review of Newt Gingrich’s books listed people he named as influences: one of them was Herman Cain….

  37. 37.

    Butch

    November 17, 2011 at 11:11 am

    I remember when he started his flameout as speaker and all the Repubs on the Hill suddenly started referring to him as “Dr. Gingrich,” like it would rehabilitate his reputation. The man is so offensive on so many levels.

  38. 38.

    agrippa

    November 17, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Gingrch has a Phd in Histroy from Tulane. I have a BA in History. I bet that I have a better knowledge of History than Gingrich.

    Gingrich is pompous , histrionic and narcissistic.

  39. 39.

    Mark S.

    November 17, 2011 at 11:13 am

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik:

    Gingrich at least seems to have read some popular science magazines. I have never heard Cantor say anything that wasn’t a right wing talking point. Shit, I think Cantor is a dumber version of Hannity, who is at least more articulate.

  40. 40.

    John Weiss

    November 17, 2011 at 11:14 am

    @Hunter Gathers: Say, tell me, what is “over educated”? That sorta rubs me the wrong way.

  41. 41.

    c u n d gulag

    November 17, 2011 at 11:15 am

    @cleek:
    Yeah, and I’d bet it was Newt!

  42. 42.

    Hungry Joe

    November 17, 2011 at 11:15 am

    It’s come to this
    Yes, it’s come to this
    And wasn’t it a long way down?
    Wasn’t it a strange way down?

    — Leonard Cohen

  43. 43.

    Trinity

    November 17, 2011 at 11:17 am

    OT – is anyone paying attention to what is happening this morning with OWS?

  44. 44.

    redshirt

    November 17, 2011 at 11:17 am

    @JR: “It’s better to burn up than to fade away?”

  45. 45.

    Culture of Truth

    November 17, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Actually Gingrich was involved in mundane politics when he was Speaker. An ability to both think intellectually and achieve successful in legislative give-and-take would be formidable were it not for the fact that Newt is a con man.

    What Beltway pundits seem to forget is that anyone can flick out crazy ideas at warp speed. Indeed, excited teenagers, stoned underclassmen, and even the occasional blogger may provide this for you free of charge. Also that guy who lives in the subway.

  46. 46.

    West of the Cascades

    November 17, 2011 at 11:19 am

    like a dog shaking himself clean after romping through a pond

    Gingrich reminds me more of a dog cleaning himself by licking his own ass — although here he’s having Joe Klein do that for him.

  47. 47.

    Roy G.

    November 17, 2011 at 11:20 am

    The man is so erudite that he was never a lobbyist. Freddie and Fannie were so convinced of his brilliance that they paid him $1.6 million for his advice ‘as a historian.’

    LOLZ

  48. 48.

    General Stuck

    November 17, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Our public dialog is so far removed from anything with a shred of intellectual content that the delusional musings of a snake-oil salesman register as brilliant and exciting.

    Yup, and all of it when the onion is fully peeled, to promote the bane of every free market democracy. The possibility of great personal wealth, and the illusion that that material wealth will deliver mortal souls from mortality itself. It is the fuel that drives the Newt’s of the world, and too many Americans. And if not culled, or at least moderated by enough voters with a degree of insight, the predictable leading of this folly, to the death of the golden goose, in favor of a greedy few, and expense of the many. Democracies usually die under such conditions.

    Not the first time we have entered this danger zone as a country, but the first time where the ruling white majority is threatened by loss of that rule, by the practicing of democracy itself. Making people crazier than normal, and less likely to make the changes required to veer away from the cliff at the last possible moment.

  49. 49.

    handsmile

    November 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Reviewing Brokaw’s latest bed-time story, Charles Pierce described the Village media as a “whorehouse with 500 player pianos.”

    Rent boys like Joe Klein have long swooned and crooned over hucksters like Gingrich. They get such big tips after all.

    Here are some examples of Newt’s intellectual girth that make Village size-queens so hot ‘n bothered:

    http://www.thenation.com/blog/160588/eleven-craziest-things-newt-gingrich-has-ever-said

  50. 50.

    GregB

    November 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Who better to represent a group of voters who claim to loathe Washington insiders and intellectual elitists than a former college teacher who went to Washington decades ago and has been making a living since leaving office by telling everyone how smart and great he is?

    Also too, Obama wrote two books and that makes him an elitist.

  51. 51.

    Culture of Truth

    November 17, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Perry should open the next debate saying “Look, we all know I ain’t an intellectual like Professsor Gingrich over there, but I got when we call back down Texas good ol’ country boy common sense.”

    That should kill Newt’s campaign off once and for all.

  52. 52.

    Brachiator

    November 17, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Our public dialog is so far removed from anything with a shred of intellectual content that the delusional musings of a snake-oil salesman register as brilliant and exciting.

    Newt peddles Intellectual Grift.

    Probably would make him an absolute dandy at the Reason Foundation.

    Newt reminds me of Huck Finn’s conclusion about two grifters, the King and Duke.

    It didn’t take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn’t no kings nor dukes, at all, but just low-down humbugs and frauds. But I never said nothing,never let on, kept it to myself; it’s the best way,; then you don’t have no quarrels, and don’t get into no trouble.

  53. 53.

    joeyess

    November 17, 2011 at 11:30 am

    “But he sure is a terrific idea man. He needs to be part of the debate.”
    Absolutely. We might even create a new federal position to accommodate him, sort of like party ideologist in the old Soviet Union, except that the U.S. job would be the opposite of what it was in the U.S.S.R. Instead of imposing orthodoxy, the party idea-ologist—ideology is so un-American—would propose unorthodoxy. Gingrich was certainly wild with ideas last week, flicking them off at warp speed, like a dog shaking himself clean after romping through a pond.

    First off, since when does a dog shake clean the pond water of a romping “at warp speed”? And secondly, what exactly is warp speed?

    I swear with tongue baths like this, it’s a wonder that Gingrich ever bitches about the media at all.

    As for Klein…..no one wonders why, in some parts of blogistan, he’s referred to as Jokeline.

  54. 54.

    WereBear

    November 17, 2011 at 11:32 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: I wonder what his wives saw in Newt he looks like a toad and is pudgy. He doesn’t strike me as particularly engaging either, he is so full of himself.

    I figure it’s that account at Tiffany’s.

  55. 55.

    kd bart

    November 17, 2011 at 11:32 am

    23 books. Big deal. Rick Santorum has burned more books than that.

  56. 56.

    Paris

    November 17, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Not only are “delusional musings of a snake-oil salesman” “brilliant and exciting” but we should put them on the public pay roll, just like in the glory days of the Soviet Union! We really should be lowering the retirement age and instituting forced retirement for many of these people.

  57. 57.

    Chris

    November 17, 2011 at 11:33 am

    @joeyess:

    First off, since when does a dog shake clean the pond water of a romping “at warp speed”? And secondly, what exactly is warp speed?

    A plot device. Like transporters and Vulcan mind melds.

  58. 58.

    jurassicpork

    November 17, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Newt’s bilge is called “alternate reality” scifi but I think in writing about the south winning the Civil War he’s engaging in revisionist history.

    Meanwhile, OWS continues to become the reality series based on 1984.

  59. 59.

    WereBear

    November 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

    @Trinity: This struck me:

    Derek Tabacco was not happy as he tried to get to the offices of his financial technology company and was carrying a sign with a message for the protesters that read “Get a job.”
    __
    …
    __
    Megyn Norbut, from Brooklyn, said she holds down three jobs and that she joined the protest on Thursday “because we got kicked out of Zuccotti and we need to show that this is a mental and spiritual movement, not a physical movement.”

    My bold. May I say that Mr. Tabacco is an aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashole?

  60. 60.

    superluminar

    November 17, 2011 at 11:40 am

    @The Moar You Know:

    Our cultural discourse increasingly resembles the output of a defective spambot. Words strung together that superficially make sense, but when examined actually make no sense at all.

    We are all m_c now.

  61. 61.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

    When The Revolution comes, there will be no clemency for the loathsome likes of Jokeline. Into the Duck Pit with him.

  62. 62.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 11:44 am

    @WereBear: Did all the kittehs (Tristan’s family) find good homes? Do you want me to post an update on the Cheeztown cryer. I am sure they will all love a happy ending.

  63. 63.

    Elizabelle

    November 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I wonder what his wives saw in Newt he looks like a toad and is pudgy.

    Why, the chance to be Linda McCartney.

    Except, I guess, with a longer lifespan.

    From Ferguson’s article:

    The book is a collaboration with Callista Gingrich, the wife (“whose support and love have made the adventure of our life together exciting, enjoyable and fulfilling,” Gingrich writes in “To Serve America”) who replaced the second wife, Marianne (“who made it all worthwhile” back in the day of “To Renew America”). Callista is unavoidable in all of Gingrich’s current endeavors. Having married a powerful man and suddenly blossomed in fields in which she earlier showed seemingly no interest or professional skill — writing books, taking photographs, making movies, overseeing her husband’s not-for-profit company — Callista has emerged as the Linda McCartney of the conservative movement.

    PS: “exciting, enjoyable and fulfilling.” What you might say about good sex.

    When the wife has time to serve you, in between the bookwriting and Tiffany’sshopping. Oh, and posing for memorable photographs.

  64. 64.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 17, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Gingrich writes in “To Serve America”

    IT’S A COOKBOOK!

  65. 65.

    WereBear

    November 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: YES! They did. Mum & Mr. Sensitive Orange Boy went to a lovely person in the same town who already had 2 cats. I believe I was an influence there, she said innocently.

    The two kittens that found a home through Cheeztown are still shy (I emailed some tips) and I’m still in touch with the nice couple who got them.

    AND the lady who fostered Mr. Sensitive Orange Boy just adopted a new kitten who is a cuddle monster and is bossing the big dogs… it’s all good.

    Thank you so much!

  66. 66.

    catclub

    November 17, 2011 at 11:52 am

    Newt is the source of many of the right wing’s themes.
    I saw an article about what advice Newt would give the candidates in september 2008. Many of his one liners are still with us today.

    He also said McCain should try to tar the Democrats as being tied up with Fannie and Freddie (Irony meter pegged at WTF). That was why they quoted the article.

  67. 67.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 17, 2011 at 11:55 am

    @WereBear: That’s such great news! All the kittehs now has forever homes. I has a happeh.

  68. 68.

    sharl

    November 17, 2011 at 11:58 am

    OT:
    Update on the situation with finding homes for Rumpoast front-pager StrangeAppar8us’ cats:

    UPDATE 2 Looks like we have definite homes for two of the cats. Still looking for a good home for Zero, a big, black, dopey, sweet neutered male. Sorry we don’t have pics – would post them if we did.

  69. 69.

    handsmile

    November 17, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    While not a Village VSP like Joe Klein, here is our present-day Jonathan Swift, Stephen Colbert, on the rising fortunes of the “only candidate who appears to made of dough” (Gingrich). It’s well worth three minutes of your time. (via TPM)

    http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/colbert-newts-luxury-greek-cruise-was-really-a-fact-finding-mission.php?ref=fpc

  70. 70.

    trollhattan

    November 17, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    @dmsilev:
    Speaking of mittens, a key creator of the Mass healthcare program out and out calls him a liar.

    http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal/2011_11/romneycare_architect_romney_is033553.php

    As to Newton, now that Palin’s out of the running he’s the biggest (in both senses) Republican camera whore. But the man has so many bodies buried the librul media can’t help but stumble across several, regardless of how blinded they are by Newton’s pasty glow.

    Speaking of which, he could use a stint at Boehner’s tanning salon/spray booth.

  71. 71.

    JCJ

    November 17, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    @wormtown

    I was in the car with “Talk of the Nation” blathering on yesterday. They were talking about the Republican debates and some idiot started talking about it being hard for Gingrich because he “is the smartest guy in the room…” at those debates. I think my not very bright cat would be the smartest guy in the room if he were at those debates. What a low bar. Smarter than Perry, Bachman, Frothman, etc.? Gingrich probably isn’t, and that is a sad reflection on Newt.

  72. 72.

    Rafer Janders

    November 17, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Gingrich was certainly wild with ideas last week, flicking them off at warp speed, like a dog shaking himself clean after romping through a pond.

    Anybody who types a sentence like that should have his fingers broken so he can’t do further damage to his readers.

  73. 73.

    Frankensteinbeck

    November 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Newt is the RIGHT KIND of intellectual and idea man. You are looking at this from the wrong perspective.

    Newt has two constituencies, narcissist arch-conservatives and beltway pundits. To the narcissist arch-conservative, he does not confuse them with facts or nuance. He provides simple, satisfying rationalizations for what they emotionally want. He makes a few airy references to intellectual principle, then brushes it aside to suggest that better truths can be found in your gut feelings. All of his ideas are slanted with spite and selfishness. Know any alcoholics? THIS IS HOW THEY REASON. They eat this stuff up. If he weren’t so fat and ugly and abrasive, the proles would love him. This is the intellect and education they want – a fake one that makes them feel superior and right all the time.

    For beltway pundits, Newt has a strong and outgoing personality that makes them feel like they’re talking to an important person. He has a facile answer to any question, and those answers require zero research or understanding of the subject. Plus, they’re all Politics and no Policy. If you’re a lazy journalist, you enjoy listening to Newt, so he seems like a genius.

    If any of this makes Newt sound like a con man, and both the news media and the conservative base sound like ideal marks, that is not a coincidence.

  74. 74.

    Mike Goetz

    November 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Here is Nancy Pelosi turning down Rick Perry’s challenge to a debate:

    “He did ask if I could debate here in Washington on Monday. It is my understanding that such a letter has come in. Monday I’m going to be in Portland in the morning, I’m going to be visiting some of our labs. I’m in California in the afternoon, that’s two. I can’t remember what the third is.”

  75. 75.

    Annelid Gustator

    November 17, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    @lamh31: that particular dog whistle says “affirmative action” instead of “wealthy”

  76. 76.

    Elizabelle

    November 17, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    OT: Balloon Juice pet chronicles:

    What is happening with dogs Romeo and Juliet in SoCal?

    Got to say, I was tempted by those lovely dogs, but just cannot have pets right now …

    Did they find a home? (Together, please.)

  77. 77.

    jl

    November 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    I like Newt’s ‘interlocking aspects creating synergies through many levels’ type stuff. Suddenly occurred to me why. It sounds kind of sexy, at least for fake wonk talk.

  78. 78.

    Howlin Wolfe

    November 17, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    @liberal: Thanks for that list, liberal. It sums up the pompous peacock press pundits pretty well.

  79. 79.

    WereBear

    November 17, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    @sharl: Dang. I’m full up and far away… but I love me those surfer dude cats.

    Two out of three is great, though, and in such a short time. Sending good thoughts.

  80. 80.

    Rafer Janders

    November 17, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    @Mike Goetz:

    Ouch. Nice twist of the knife, there.

  81. 81.

    dmsilev

    November 17, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    OK, this makes me want to duck and cover under my desk:

    GOP Primary Voters Trust Gingrich Most With Nukes

    (Of course, my desk is located 40 feet underground with two thick concrete floors between me and the surface. Performance of desks for nuclear protection may vary with location.)

  82. 82.

    dmsilev

    November 17, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    @Mike Goetz: Thank you, Madame Minority Leader. Nice toss of the anvil to the drowning man.

  83. 83.

    Suffern ACE

    November 17, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    I think panicky is one of the best words to describe Newt. Thin-skinned comes to mind as well. Loud-mouthed works for me as well. The Village translates all that into “colorful”.

  84. 84.

    Pangloss

    November 17, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    @dmsilev: I don’t think Mitt cares at all. Everything about Mitt’s history and style tells me he’s got the temperament to persevere through any humiliation– no matter how low– to make the sale. Mitt is all about the Benjamins, all about building the resume to get the Benjamins, and accumulating Benjamins for his family and friends.

    I imagine that Mitt has a shelf full of motivational books on sales: Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar, W. Clement Stone, etc. At a fundamental level, Mitt is a happy sales warrior, with his eye on strategically outlasting his competetors to win the contract. He is immune to rejection at this point. He’s the King of the The Goal Patrol, unwavering in his focus no matter what indignity is hurled at him.

  85. 85.

    Satanicpanic

    November 17, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    The left would be so much better off without the dead weight of idiots like Klein.

  86. 86.

    Suffern ACE

    November 17, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    @dmsilev: Oh good Lord. That said, he probably does fall into the category of “Current Candidates who May Understand that You Shouldn’t Use Nukes as Often as You’d Like to.”

  87. 87.

    Brachiator

    November 17, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    @lamh31:

    That’s what I’d call “privileged”. Ugh! The fear and delusion that this President somehow “provokes” in the GOP is disgustingly racial and really PO’s me!

    Actually, it’s quite funny, in a very sad way.

    Here is Perry on Obama:

    Gov. Rick Perry on Wednesday night said President Barack Obama “grew up in a privileged way” and that America’s foreign policy reputation has suffered because of the president’s “mentality that he’s the smartest guy in the room.”

    And here is a summary of the right wing punditocracy on Newt Gingrich:

    During the November 10 edition of Fox News’ Fox & Friends, Fox News contributor and conservative columnist Michelle Malkin criticized some of Gingrich’s policies but claimed “there’s no question that Newt is always the smartest guy in the room.”

    Could these dopes be any more … well, plain jackass dopey?

    So, while Real American Conservative White Folks ™ can, you know, be smarts and stuff, with Obama it’s just being uppity. And being uppity hurts America.

    And yet, here is the Australian prime minister clearly digging herself some Obama.

  88. 88.

    Samara Morgan

    November 17, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    not a word about the N-17 protests?
    of course not.
    ;)

    do you know what i think is striking?
    how much the NYPD motorcycle cops in their helmets and black gear resemble the Basiij during the Sea of Green protests in Tehran.

  89. 89.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 17, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    LOL that’s Newt Gingrich, always shakin it up with his anti-establishment ideas about how the establishment knows best

  90. 90.

    cckids

    November 17, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Surely this has been referenced here. You’d think it would have landed harder, somehow, as it is so true, but that is probably why it has been ignored by the twitterati:

    From http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-215_162-57324911/newt-can-sure-talk-a-lot-but-is-he-smart/

    But if Gingrich has amply proven his academic talents, he has also demonstrated their limitations. The Republican Party should not mistake his communication skills with evidence of real knowledge, or even of good reasoning. Gingrich may be a master of academic exercises—his ability to make bookish references and formulate long sentences demonstrate as much—but that does not mean he knows what he is talking about.

    Gingrich’s patterns of speech are largely analytically acute, and sometimes aesthetically interesting, but substantively, they are very often lacking. Language is supposed to be a package that carries substance, but Gingrich is sometimes so pleased with his uninterrupted stream of words, that he mistakes it for an actual flow of ideas. This, sadly, is an affliction endemic in academia, where too many spend too long trying to score points in petty intellectual fights; the further the substance of the debate recedes, the faster the self-satisfaction of the participants grows.

    Apologies in advance if I’ve f-ed up the link.

  91. 91.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 17, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Gingrich has proven himself over and over in his personal and professional life to be a conscienceless megalomaniac and should be shamed into disappearing

  92. 92.

    Koch Brother from Another Mother

    November 17, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    “Progressives” hate Gingrich because he puts lie to the notion that conservatives are “stupid”, a myth liberals cherish above all others.

  93. 93.

    jibeaux

    November 17, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    Okay, that was flat funny.

  94. 94.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 17, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    @cckids:

    Gingrich’s patterns of speech are largely analytically acute, and sometimes aesthetically interesting, but substantively, they are very often lacking. Language is supposed to be a package that carries substance, but Gingrich is sometimes so pleased with his uninterrupted stream of words, that he mistakes it for an actual flow of ideas. This, sadly, is an affliction endemic in academia, where too many spend too long trying to score points in petty intellectual fights; the further the substance of the debate recedes, the faster the self-satisfaction of the participants grows.

    Please restate with strong verbs, no passive voice, and in half the length.

  95. 95.

    Koch Brother from Another Mother

    November 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    “Progressives” hate Gingrich because he puts lie to the notion that conservatives are “stupid”, a myth liberals cherish above all others.

  96. 96.

    cckids

    November 17, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    @cckids: Grr. Second graph should be blockquoted as well.

  97. 97.

    Bubblegum Tate

    November 17, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    The Gingrich-loving wingnuts I know all refer to him as a “21st century thinker.” I’ll let you guys fill in the jokes.

  98. 98.

    Villago Delenda Est

    November 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:

    He got that off the CBS News web site; it’s all Villagespeak. Very strong on weak verbs, passive voice, and enough words to fill out the end of the assignment.

  99. 99.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 17, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Correct

  100. 100.

    cckids

    November 17, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    @AA+ Bonds: Someone needs to say that to Newt, repeatedly. He reminds me of an underprepared, overly self-esteemed grad student trying too hard.

  101. 101.

    AA+ Bonds

    November 17, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    What he is, is a shitty professor, he’s just like every other shitty professor in America

  102. 102.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    November 17, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    @Brachiator:

    Mark Twain remains as relevant a commentator today as he was during his lifetime. It’s quite remarkable.

  103. 103.

    The Republic of Stupidity

    November 17, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    @Satanicpanic:

    The left The whole frickin’ world would be so much better off without the dead weight of idiots like Klein.

    Why limit the possibilities?

  104. 104.

    Samara Morgan

    November 17, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Tomorrow is Fuck FBI Friday.

  105. 105.

    Citizen_X

    November 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Gingrich was certainly wild with ideas last week, flicking them off at warp speed, like a dog shaking himself clean

    This could also be said about every meth freak in America. Does Joke Line think that they, too, should all be elevated to the position of Commissar Smartypants or whatever?

  106. 106.

    cleek

    November 17, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    @AA+ Bonds:

    What he is, is a shitty professor, he’s just like every other shitty professor in America

    but you can’t call him a professor, because that would mean he’s an academic. and he’s an unorthodox “party idea-ologist”, not a radical.

    he’s an idea man, a think-ologist. anything but a professional academic radical.

  107. 107.

    slippy

    November 17, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I’m trying to figure out who gave Newt the idea that he could write.

    He’s a fucking idiot. Full of himself, full of shit, full of privilege.

    Yeah, he’s written 23 books. Has he written one fucking word worth reading?

    I don’t think so. Intellectual midget.

  108. 108.

    Poopyman

    November 17, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    @trollhattan: Remember, you can’t say “NEWT!” without the “EW!”

    @AA+ Bonds:

    What he is, is a shitty professor, he’s just like every other shitty professor in America.

    Except that some shitty professors actually make tenure.

    Wonder if Newt would have gone on to do the harm he’s done if West Georgia College had given him tenure? At least the damage would have been limited to a few hundred undergrads.

  109. 109.

    SectarianSofa

    November 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    @wormtown:

    Thank you! I had to shut NPR off this am. I turned it on in the middle of a piece about Newt. They were doing exactly this.

    Yep, I did the same thing. Sad thing is that I do this a lot now with NPR/PRI/PBS, et al. Newshour with David Fucking Brooks, for example.

  110. 110.

    SectarianSofa

    November 17, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    @ajr22:

    Joan Didion’s reviewed Newtso? Wow — going to have to track that down.
    Perhaps this one? http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/1995/aug/10/the-teachings-of-speaker-gingrich/

  111. 111.

    Samara Morgan

    November 17, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

    the media pimps him because they need their paychecks.
    no one pays to see a one-horse race.

  112. 112.

    liberal

    November 17, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    @Howlin Wolfe:
    The CANONICAL example of someone who has no intellectual depth is Thomas Friedman.

    When he was going on about the earth turning at Y2K, and cities not crumbling because appropriate precautions were taken, my immediate reaction was “WTF do you know, a$$hole? You’ve probably never written a single line of code in your life.”

  113. 113.

    SectarianSofa

    November 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    @Samara Morgan:

    I thought this was a liberal blog!

  114. 114.

    liberal

    November 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Another good point about Gingrich was made awhile back by Alexander Cockburn: IIRC, “he doesn’t have a conservative bone in his body.”

    Random fact: I forget where he wrote it, but Newt at one point was singing the praises of lighting up cities at night using giant space mirrors.

  115. 115.

    liberal

    November 17, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    @atlliberal:

    Can someone please name one original idea that Newt has come up with in the last 20 years?

    Well, it’s not an idea, and it’s not entirely original, but he’s certainly one of the highest performers of the art known as “marital infidelity.”

  116. 116.

    burritoboy

    November 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Mikhail Suslov, who in fact was the chief ideologue of the Soviet Union, was a terrifying man who would have eaten Gingrich as a appetizer. (Not that Suslov was any great intellectual. As a politico, however, he outplayed such evil bastards as Beria and Kaganovich, men who regularly tortured people with their bare hands. Which Suslov had done as well. Beria like to stamp on people’s heads while wearing army boots – he thought that softened them up for interrogation. He also liked to kidnap and rape young women. One conspiracy theory around Stalin’s death is that Beria got to Stalin before Stalin could get to Beria.)

  117. 117.

    Mike E

    November 17, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Newt has two constituencies, narcissist arch-conservatives and beltway pundits

    So, George Will counts as two?

  118. 118.

    Catsy

    November 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    @Walker: Wow, that novel sounds like a total rehash of Dies the Fire, except with an EMP instead of The Event.

  119. 119.

    Triassic Sands

    November 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    If Gingrich is elected president, time will have finally run out.

  120. 120.

    booda

    November 17, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    Gingrich was certainly wild with ideas last week, flicking them off at warp speed, like a dog shaking himself clean after romping through a pond.

    Holy shit snacks that is some awful writing. Seriously Joe Klein? F you for making my eyeballs read that. It’s not surprising that someone who would actually publish that in a major magazine without a hint of embarrassment would also think Newtie is the bees knees.

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