40 acres and a Stormtrooper?
Is it just me, or is it a slow news day? Oh, it’s not just me? Great. So you won’t mind a spot of silliness then.
Darth Vader hit up the mayor of a Ukrainian City for some free land recently, citing a law that grants every Ukrainian citizen the right to own 1000 square meters of land.
Vader claimed that he knew the mayor had switched to the dark side, and that he (Vader) needed somewhere to park his space cruiser.
I KNOW.
You see, city authorities in the Ukrainian Black Sea port of Odessa decided to give away free landplots along the coast of the Black Sea, a move which caused the public to cry foul. What with city authorities playing favorites in the “Have Some Free Land” sweepstakes, Darth Vader figured there were some shenanigans afoot and, by the hand of Skywalker, he wanted him a piece of the pierogi:
Welcoming the local authorities’ move to the dark side, Darth Vader has asked for a land plot in the Ukrainian Black Sea port of Odessa to park his space ship.
An Odessite dressed as the Star Wars villain visited the mayor’soffice this week to claim a free land plot citing Ukrainian legislation which grants every citizen the right to own 1,000 square meters of land.
His visit followed a decision by city authorities to grant attractive land plots along the sea coast to a group of people for free, prompting public concerns about corruption, according to local media.
The mayor’s office has since said the move was a mistake but has not yet canceled it, according to local news website Dumskaya.net.
“I am Darth Vader, the right hand of Emperor Palpatine,” the man introduced himself to amused policemen, as seen in a video posted on YouTube and accompanied by the Imperial March music.
“…Knowing that many (local legislature) deputies and the mayor have switched to the dark side… I have come for a land plot… for my space cruiser.”
Officials accepted the man’s application after he showed his passport and removed the black helmet equipped with a voice-distorting device.
“The application has been registered and will be considered,” a spokeswoman for the mayor’s office told Reuters.
“We are not on the dark side, we are light-side people,” she added.
Best story ever.
UPDATE: I’ve been informed by Star Wars enthusiasts that Darth Vader would not be cruising around in his Death Star as it is a battle station. Mr. Vader was likely looking for a sweet parking spot for his Star Destroyer. Mea culpa.
[cross-posted at ABLC]
Baud
Occupy Black Sea.
ruemara
I love this link and would feed it cake.
Villago Delenda Est
You’re either with me, or against me.
There is no “we’re considering the application.”
JPL
David Brooks is bloviating on NewsHour. I’m shocked, just shocked.
Mark Shields is doing his both sides do it. hahahaha
Now David says there is no center…Talk about that window moving…
Egg Berry
@JPL: That Brooks really gets around. He was just on the NPR affiliate opposite EJ Dionne talking about what an “idea man” Newt Gingrich is.
j low
@Egg Berry: NPR began the full scale rehabilitation of Newt on Morning Edition today. He’s a very serious candidate y’know.
BBA
Somebody should revive the Orange Alternative movement from 1980s Poland.
There can be no freedom without dwarves!
Omnes Omnibus
@Villago Delenda Est: I find her lack of faith disturbing.
scav
Forgive the lapse in geography, but that is just so Czech. Things are wrong, bring out the pointed Dada and throw in some paperwork and bureaucracy. Send in the Good Soldier Švejk in a Vader mask. Kafka, Škvorecký, Kundera. (Maybe communal post-Soviet-bloc memory seeping north?)
Omnes Omnibus
@scav: The soon-to-be-ex-Mme Omnibus, a Romanian native, once commented how much the Vogons reminded her of bureaucrats back home.
Gromit
The Death Star is a battle station, not a star cruiser. Vader’s star cruiser would be a Star Destroyer (or a Super Star Destroyer).
Gin & Tonic
Maybe he can park the Death Star on top of that damned Change.org thing that’s overstepping its boundaries.
Omnes Omnibus
@Gromit: Should that have been signed with a /pedant or a /nerd?
Citizen_X
Needs moar Odessa Steps massacre. (You KNOW Darth loved that scene.)
ABL
@Gromit: ah! star wars fail on my part.
Omnes Omnibus
@Citizen_X: This kind of comment is one of the reasons I like this blog.
JC
@Gin & Tonic:
Hear hear! Time to use the Force on that ad.
Laura
Brilliant. Occupy: call wardrobe!!!
Villago Delenda Est
@Gromit:
Specifically, the Executor.
Although that is not, as they say, 1st grade canon. The name of the ship is never mentioned in one of the films, only in “extended universe” content.
@JC:
Nothing that a fully charged phaser bank can’t handle.
Yutsano
Work has been total chaos today. We have a bedbug infestation on my floor. Plus it’s gonna snow in a couple of hours. Life. Is. Epic.
Omnes Omnibus
@Yutsano: The IRS has bedbugs?
jo6pac
Thank You
Citizen_X
@Omnes Omnibus: The original scene is still just as riveting as it ever was.
Yutsano
Apparently two floors at least in my building have them. They won’t say infestation yet but the last detection was over two months ago. Something is crawling in the walls for sure.
ruemara
@Yutsano: Sure it’s not a bunch of corporate rats, trying to hide from any offshore taxes investigations?
ABL
@Yutsano: on your floor at home or at work? either way, gross!
Omnes Omnibus
@ABL: Bedbugist!
dr. luba
Pierogi–Polish. The Ukrainian word is varenyky.
Great story. My Google News alerts picked it up for me earlier today. And I was shocked to discover corruption in local Ukrainian government!
Mnemosyne
@Yutsano:
Did you know that cockroaches can get inside your microwave and start crawling around so you see them moving inside the digital clock?
Yes, we now have a new microwave. The old one is down in the garage, wrapped in plastic, and will be disposed of at the electronics dump tomorrow.
Chris
@Gromit:
I just want to take a minute to thank you for that extremely nerdy comment. (Not mocking: I TRULY and sincerely enjoy such moments).
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: Um, ew.
scav
And in a similar spirit, here’s what OccupyCal did when told not to pitch tents.
Hint. Look up.
Gromit
@Omnes Omnibus: True pedantry would have been to point out that Vader would more likely want to park a Lambda-class Imperial Shuttle.
Jebediah
@Yutsano:
Diatomaceous earth works nicely – you just have to be sure your pets don’t eat it.