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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

T R E 4 5 O N

Ah, the different things are different argument.

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Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Let’s finish the job.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Second rate reporter says what?

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

“woke” is the new caravan.

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It’s a doggy dog world.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Remember back in the day when cats used to harmonize?

Remember back in the day when cats used to harmonize?

by DougJ|  December 1, 20118:25 pm| 125 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Jewish Steel says this about Newt’s principled pro-child labor stance:

This is exactly the music the base wants to hear. All killer, no filler.

And none of that shit off the new album.

Let’s face it, gang, contemporary popular culture has grown far too complex and abstract. Miami cops who once cruised South Beach in convertibles now perform complex forensic tests, rockers who once sang of listening to that fine fine music now produce concept albums based on the work of German expressionist writer Frank Wedekind, and the simple eloquence of “life ain’t nothing but bitches and money” has descended into the incomprehensible morass of “a milli, a milli, a milli”.

And so it is with the Republican primary. Strapping young bucks and This Year’s Hitlers were easy to understand, but now it’s all fiat currency, silver dimes you can buy gas with, and sharks with frickin’ lasers patrolling the Rio Grande.

Newt brings it back to basics. Lazy ghetto kids who should be picking cotton or making Nikes, and learning the important life lessons those activities teach, are just cashing big gubmint checks and wallowing in ignorance. That hits the cadillac-driving welfare queen meme, while at the same time allowing Reasonoids to wank about lemonade stands. George Will can talk about delivering papers and how Nancy Pelosi would make that illegal (if his Perry-employed wife lets him).

Maybe I’m wrong, but I think maybe Newt can flip the track and bring the old school back, at least for the next few months.

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Reader Interactions

125Comments

  1. 1.

    eric

    December 1, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    I smell Bell Curve making a come back.

  2. 2.

    Linkmeister

    December 1, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Heh. Did you just read my post of an hour ago?

  3. 3.

    BGinCHI

    December 1, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    When all others have forgotten to pick up the simple Reagan mantle, Newt is just straight bringin it. Older white voters and a neo-con foreign policy. Straight outta the 80s.

    If Newt wins, look for Springsteen to do a re-make of Born in the USA.

  4. 4.

    Cat Lady

    December 1, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Great. Generational, racial AND class warfare. Bring.It.On. At least we’ll know what the next election is about.

  5. 5.

    J

    December 1, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    Love your Lauryn Hill song references. Also a fantastic post. Well done, DougJ.

  6. 6.

    Yevgraf

    December 1, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Just got robocalled by Newt. I stayed on the line to cost the time of the message. Then I insulted the associate.

    Good times.

  7. 7.

    BGinCHI

    December 1, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    @eric: You have exactly the right sensory organ for any work from Charles Murray.

  8. 8.

    Samara Morgan

    December 1, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    occupydenver music video.
    i heart the flobots.

    we gon occupy the booth.

  9. 9.

    Jenny

    December 1, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    move over strapping young bucks eating t-bone steaks. Al Sharpton had a clip tonight of Newt saying food stamps are being used to purchase vacations to Hawaii.

  10. 10.

    TG Chicago

    December 1, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    Man, this post was written in code. Fortunately, I have the key, but I’m chuckling trying to imagine somebody coming to librul blog world for the first time and seeing this as their first introduction.

    Not a criticism, mind you. I dug it!

  11. 11.

    mistermix

    December 1, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Fuck soccer moms. Get off my lawn depends wearers are the 2012 dynamic to capture.

  12. 12.

    Spaghetti Lee

    December 1, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    I think it would be fitting if Newt got the nom. Nominating a newbie like Bachmann or Cain would allow them keep lying that they’re not just a bunch of spiteful old assholes stuck in the past, and that they actually have some interest in governing 21st century America. Instead, they’re apparently choosing to unearth the buried corpse of Newt Gingrich, kept alive and sentient only by spite, to remind everyone just how awful Republicans can be. It’s a fitting end to this clown show.

  13. 13.

    DougJ

    December 1, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    @J:

    Thanks!

    @TG Chicago:

    I consider that a feature, not a bug.

  14. 14.

    BGinCHI

    December 1, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Serious question: how many tense, uptight, unhealthy old people who are keen to vote for Newt for President will croak before the election in Nov 2012?

    Then, how many peppy youngsters who want to vote for Obama will turn 18 in time to vote for him?

  15. 15.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 1, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    I still insist that the FSM doesn’t love us enough for Newt to be the nominee.

    Oh, please, toss us into that briar patch!

  16. 16.

    Jenny

    December 1, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    Alternate title: “When you were slaves, you sung like birds”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=L7QF32mxftE#t=28s

  17. 17.

    RossInDetroit

    December 1, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    Two months ago I was wondering why the GOP didn’t have a deep bench any more. I had no idea Noot was still riding the pine and waiting for his chance to play.
    well, it’ll be interesting…

  18. 18.

    srv

    December 1, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    Freebird!

    and sharks with frickin’ lasers patrolling the Rio Grande.

    Unless they can walk, I don’t see how that works. No hay agua.

  19. 19.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    If they don’t play the stuff off the new album, when are we supposed to get another damn beer?

  20. 20.

    The Dangerman

    December 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    The Powers That Be on the Republican side want Romney; there will be a Gingrich takedown and it’ll have to be breathtaking if the polls are accurate.

  21. 21.

    aimai

    December 1, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    I hate to say it but this is one of the greatest political blog posts I’ve ever read. Its one hundred percent on the (fiat) money.

    aimai

  22. 22.

    DougJ

    December 1, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    @Jenny:

    Awesome!

  23. 23.

    BGinCHI

    December 1, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: This assumes you forgot your cheese-shaped double-beer helmet at home, no?

  24. 24.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    @BGinCHI: They don’t let those into some shows. I’ve been patted down for weapons and/or recording devices at various venues. God only know what they would do with headgear like that at, for example, a Rancid show.

  25. 25.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 1, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    The ever brilliant Charles Pierce, talking about OvenMitt’s ever changing approach to global climate change:

    Your flip-flops are embarrassingly calculated. They’re so obviously mechanistic that you come across like Eddie Haskell with a hedge fund.

    Please do go here to read more!

  26. 26.

    chris

    December 1, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Truly…a post for the ages. I know its late in the year…but this has to be a contender for post of the year.

  27. 27.

    BGinCHI

    December 1, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: That doesn’t make me less of a fan of Rancid’s unreleased “Cheesehead in the Mosh Pit” record.

  28. 28.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    @TG Chicago: Should I be worried that I got it all on first read? Maybe I need to get out more.

  29. 29.

    Cassidy

    December 1, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Interesting thing about food stamps: yes, I can use my EBT card to buy t-bone steaks and lobster and snow crab legs, etc. I can stop into a mini-mart and buy a soda. I can’t buy toilet paper, shampoo, tooth paste, etc. Makes no sense to me. And no hot, prepared foods like fried chicken, etc.

  30. 30.

    srv

    December 1, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    See, even Noonan agrees it’s about the bases meta:

    What happened is a better story than the establishment didn’t know what the base was thinking. It’s that the base didn’t know what the base was thinking.
    __
    All it knew was it was only moderately enthusiastic about Mitt Romney. There were a lot of debates—they were history-changing this year, whatever happens. Six, seven or eight million people would watch them and talk about them afterwards, at work or in comment boxes and email groups. And after they said, “Romney held his own,” and, “Perry’s kind of a disappointment,” they’d come to agreement on this: “I really liked what Newt said when he said they shouldn’t bash each other and re-elect Obama.” “I liked when Newt confronted the moderator.” It was always at the end of the conversation that this got said. Because the base knew Mr. Gingrich couldn’t win, so why waste the breath or bandwidth?

    He could start calling Obama the N-word at the next debate and the 27% would have an orgasm.

  31. 31.

    General Stuck

    December 1, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    LOL. The Snark, it lives!!

  32. 32.

    Judge Crater

    December 1, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Great post! But, Newt is going to sing the same old song that has gotten the GOP this far into the 21st century. Call it the Southern Strategy or the politics of resentment or the Tea Party or whatever, but it’s the same thing: it’s that somebody (blacks, hispanics, poor people, the non-“wealth creators”) are getting something for nothing.

    And the agent of that outrage is big government. Government is interfering with the omniscient and omnipotent calculus of capitalism and the “free market.”

    It’s the same song that Limbaugh and the right-wing propaganda machine have been pumping out for years.

    Newt knows it so well he can sing it in his sleep.

  33. 33.

    Joel

    December 1, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Lauryn Hill is a good choice although Ahmad would have worked too.

  34. 34.

    carpeduum

    December 1, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Either you have had a few too many drinks or hits on the bong or at least you finally got on the right track at the very end by saying “Maybe I’m wrong….”

  35. 35.

    gogol's wife

    December 1, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    @J:

    Yes, a beautifully written post, and I don’t even understand half of it (this is not snark, it really is beautiful).

  36. 36.

    Bago

    December 1, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    Live Newt Girls! All Newt, all the time! Would a Newt by any other name smell as sweet?

    It’s starting to look like newt-juice up in here. Just sayin.

  37. 37.

    Bill Murray

    December 1, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: And when I die and go to pure pop heaven
    The angels will gather around
    And ask me for my whole life story
    And ask for that fabulous sound
    But I know they’re gonna stop me
    As I start going through every line
    And say please not the whole damn album
    Nobody has that much time

    Please . . .

    Just the hit single
    You gotta love that number one

  38. 38.

    El Cid

    December 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    @Jenny: I do like it when Sharpton gets holy outraged against the right targets. It was a great thing to watch.

  39. 39.

    Hunter Gathers

    December 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    You have to feel sorry for The Mittens at this point. He’s begged and pleaded with his crush for 5 years now, buying her chocolates, flowers, promising the moon and the stars but never getting anything more than a peck on the cheek. Now comes along a fat turd with a mess of ex-girlfriends, a shitty attitude and a vicious streak a mile long, and Mitten’s crush is stolen away from him when the Newtster whispers ‘Come on, baby. Let’s go make fun of the poor kids getting on the bus after school and then let’s make out in the back of my Trans-Am. I got some cheap beer and my parents are out of town. Drop the zero and get with the hero.’ And while the girl of his dreams walks away with the human equivalent of a case of herpes, poor Mittens is stuck holding her book bag, hoping she’ll come to her senses and be the one he gets to remove his magic underwear for.

  40. 40.

    Raven

    December 1, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    @Hunter Gathers: Xin Loi mofo!

  41. 41.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    @Hunter Gathers: That’s fuckin’ beautiful, man. Deadly accurate, not quite the pure genius of the main post, but what could be, amirite?

  42. 42.

    JordanRules

    December 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    A drop the mic post. Snatched me off lurker blvd.

  43. 43.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    @Raven: What did you do wrong now?

  44. 44.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    December 1, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    @TG Chicago: Oh, FSM, you’re right. I understood every word, I’m doomed.

    Have you caught yourself saying “Also, too” to a civilian yet?

  45. 45.

    maya

    December 1, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    “Don’t look at those 1%ers that you can’t see anyway, look at those highly visible 20%ers lounging around your local ghetto’s corner. They’re the real problem with America.” Yup! Vintage Reagan. I can just envision those ‘Democrats for Newt’ phalanxes gelling into formation throughout Ohio and Pennsylvania even as I write this.

  46. 46.

    Hunter Gathers

    December 1, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s why DougJ gets paid the big bucks.

  47. 47.

    Raven

    December 1, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: The Xin Loi was for mitt.

  48. 48.

    flukebucket

    December 1, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    and the simple eloquence of “life ain’t nothing but bitches and money” has descended into the incomprehensible morass of “a milli, a milli, a milli”

    Tell it all brother. Tell it all.

  49. 49.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    December 1, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    @srv: B-but, how can you have wetbacks if the Rio Grande no hay agua?

  50. 50.

    Raven

    December 1, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: Put em on the plane over Los Gatos Canyon.

  51. 51.

    El Cid

    December 1, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Today in unexpected political outcomes of a lot of recent mass political rebellions:

    Miley Cyrus’ music video urging young people to engage in protests (“Liberty Walk”) to stand up for what’s right.

    I didn’t make that up. H/T GOS.

  52. 52.

    JordanRules

    December 1, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    A drop the mic post. Snatched me off lurker street.

  53. 53.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    @Raven: Got it. I hadn’t seen any blatant screw ups on your part, so confusion reigned.

    @Hunter Gathers: Fucker sold out. I remember when he used be cool.

  54. 54.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    December 1, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    @Hunter Gathers: Ouch. Too true, too true. Everything comes back to high school don’t it?

  55. 55.

    Dee Loralei

    December 1, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    Wow, Cain’s Last Mistress, Ginger White is gonna be on Lawrence O’D in a few.

  56. 56.

    Raven

    December 1, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s cuz you’re not here!

  57. 57.

    Mike in NC

    December 1, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    Newt brings it back to basics.

    From Media Matters:

    Gingrich is the total package, the ultimate Republican: He doesn’t just combine the economic cruelty, hypocritical moralizing, authoritarian instincts, and venomous partisanship that have come to define the various factions of the modern GOP — he developed those positions long before most of his fellow Republicans.

    Can we look forward to somebody in the media asking the Swollen Amphibian why he blamed Bill Clinton and liberals when a woman in SC drowned her two kids in 1994?

  58. 58.

    Johannes

    December 1, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    @aimai: Yes. Yes, it is.

    All we need is Bill Murray to do Ghostbusters III, Cthulu to arise, and–wait; then what the hell was the last administration? A warm up game?

  59. 59.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    @Raven: Fair ’nuff.

  60. 60.

    kd bart

    December 1, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    I see good times ahead for the coal mining industry.

  61. 61.

    burnspbesq

    December 1, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    The woman who claims to have had an affair with Cain is on with O’Donnell at the top of the hour.

    If you are short popcorn futures, now might be a good time to close that position.

  62. 62.

    Gex

    December 1, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    Well, someone has to pick all these crops that aren’t being harvested because we’ve scared all the immigrant labor away. American adults have amply indicated that they can’t or won’t do that work. Newt’s just solving a problem.

  63. 63.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    @burnspbesq: I can’t bear to watch. I also went long on popcorn a while ago. I’m golden.

  64. 64.

    stickler

    December 1, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Are we really contemplating Newt F*cking Gingrich as the next GOP nominee for President?

    Every cartoonist in the country (and half the joke-writers) are on their knees right now, praying for this to be true.

    Newt? Really?

    Obama truly must be the Zen master of politics.

  65. 65.

    El Cid

    December 1, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    And via Der Spiegel,

    The Republicans’ Farcical Candidates
    __
    A Club of Liars, Demagogues and Ignoramuses
    __
    A Commentary by Marc Pitzke | der Spiegel
    __
    The US Republican race is dominated by ignorance, lies and scandals. The current crop of candidates have shown such a basic lack of knowledge that they make George W. Bush look like Einstein. The Grand Old Party is ruining the entire country’s reputation.
    __
    Africa is a country. In Libya, the Taliban reigns. Muslims are terrorists; most immigrants are criminal; all Occupy protesters are dirty. And women who feel sexually harassed — well, they shouldn’t make such a big deal about it.
    __
    Welcome to the wonderful world of the US Republicans. Or rather, to the twisted world of what they call their presidential campaigns. For months now, they’ve been traipsing around the country with their traveling circus, from one debate to the next, one scandal to another, putting themselves forward for what’s still the most powerful job in the world.
    __
    As it turns out, there are no limits to how far they will stoop.
    __
    It’s true that on the road to the White House all sorts of things can happen, and usually do. No campaign can avoid its share of slip-ups, blunders and embarrassments. Yet this time around, it’s just not that funny anymore. In fact, it’s utterly horrifying.
    __
    It’s horrifying because these eight so-called, would-be candidates are eagerly ruining not only their own reputations and that of their party, the party of Lincoln lore. Worse: They’re ruining the reputation of the United States.
    __
    ‘Freakshow’
    __
    They lie. They cheat. They exaggerate. They bluster. They say one idiotic, ignorant, outrageous thing after another. They’ve shown such stark lack of knowledge — political, economic, geographic, historical — that they make George W. Bush look like Einstein and even cause their fellow Republicans to cringe.
    __
    “When did the GOP lose touch with reality?” wonders Bush’s former speechwriter David Frum in New York Magazine. In the New York Times, Kenneth Duberstein, Ronald Reagan’s former chief-of-staff, called this campaign season a “reality show,” while Wall Street Journal columnist and former Reagan confidante Peggy Noonan even spoke of a “freakshow.”
    __
    That may be the most appropriate description…

    I thought that in Europe they knew how to be mature, educated, and civil. How did they get such horrible rudes polluting the public airthink?

    H/T GOS, also too.

  66. 66.

    General Stuck

    December 1, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Newt is the only one who knows where the wingnut fountain of eternal puppy blood is located. The directions are tattooed on the inside of his eyeballs. That is all you need to know.

  67. 67.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    December 1, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: And here I thought it was my absence. Hmmpf.

  68. 68.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    @General Stuck: I won’t ask why they need the puppy blood. I hate horror movies.

  69. 69.

    burnspbesq

    December 1, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    It’s either that or a replay of Euroleague basketball. Real Madrid against Emporio Armani isn’t exactly making me swoon.

  70. 70.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Quoi?

    @burnspbesq: Have considered DIY dentistry? It would be less painful and certainly more informative.

  71. 71.

    Cacti

    December 1, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    @Hunter Gathers:

    You have to feel sorry for The Mittens at this point. He’s begged and pleaded with his crush for 5 years now, buying her chocolates, flowers, promising the moon and the stars but never getting anything more than a peck on the cheek.

    Except that political success is the only arena in Mitt’s privileged life where things haven’t worked out exactly the way they were supposed to.

    He’s the political equivalent of the Winklevoss brothers.

  72. 72.

    J

    December 1, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Love the idea of Republican ‘roots’ music,

    or the return to an ideal of ‘Classical Simplicity’, i.e., pure and easily recognized viciousness.

  73. 73.

    Mnemosyne

    December 1, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:

    Have you caught yourself saying “Also, too” to a civilian yet?

    Not yet, but I did hear my 11-year-old niece declare “Fail!” on her brother. LOLspeak lives outside the intertubes, so why not B-Jspeak?

  74. 74.

    Donut

    December 1, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Yup, well done, Doug. You may actually be getting the hang of this blogging thing. ;)

  75. 75.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I have caught myself typing this word at work: speshalist.

  76. 76.

    burnspbesq

    December 1, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    The Wi-Fi at this hotel blows moose-cock is woefully inadequate.

    See, Ruth Marcus is right. It’s not painful to be civil.

  77. 77.

    Judas Escargot

    December 1, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    You’re so punk, Doug.

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    @burnspbesq: Admit it. That hurt.

  79. 79.

    jl

    December 1, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Lauryn Hill? What? huh? Who? Mention Gingrich, and my thoughts go straight to Cypress Hill. Insane in the ManBrain!

  80. 80.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 1, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    @srv:

    and sharks with frickin’ lasers patrolling the Rio Grande.
    Unless they can walk, I don’t see how that works. No hay agua.

    ::knock knock:: Land shark!!

  81. 81.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    December 1, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    @El Cid: She’s done a couple of things that are either:
    1. Rebellion against her parents.
    2. Her dad is more liberal than I would have though.

    These are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

  82. 82.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 1, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    @srv:

    ::knock knock:: Candygram!!

  83. 83.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Oh, Bob, you’re such a kidder.

    ::opens door::

  84. 84.

    Roy G.

    December 1, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    “Gingrich – Primary mission, Advocate of civilization, Definer of civilization, Teacher of the rules of civilization, Leader of the civilizing forces.”

    Newt Gingrich on Newt Gingrich.

  85. 85.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 1, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    FYWPWARPF (obvs not you, OO)

  86. 86.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I am lost. It is clear that I am not aware of all internet traditions.

  87. 87.

    burnspbesq

    December 1, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Not even a little. Except for my hands going into spasm when I tried to type “Ruth Marcus” and “right” in the same sentence. Had to hold a stylus between my teeth to finish that.

  88. 88.

    burnspbesq

    December 1, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    WordPress is about to get, umm, pleasured. With a farm implement.

  89. 89.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    @burnspbesq: Aha. The switch flips.

  90. 90.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    December 1, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    Some of your your best writing is your out-loud pondering of subjects, especially the interwoven crazy ones. Pundits just don’t get it and their ‘work’ shows it. You say more about where we are as a country with your musings than the pundits do with whatever it is they generate.

    DougJ: B-J Resident ‘Ponderit’

    Ponder it home baby!

  91. 91.

    Hunter Gathers

    December 1, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    OT

    Joe Manchin, Bernie Sanders, and Jon Tester can go fuck themselves.

  92. 92.

    Spaghetti Lee

    December 1, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    What about “Ruth Marcus should be thrown into that lava pit over there, right away”?

  93. 93.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    My fucking psycho downstairs neighbor is playing Gloria Gaynor at high volume for the second night in a row. I am not amused.

  94. 94.

    kd bart

    December 1, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    You’ll survive

  95. 95.

    srv

    December 1, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    Senate votes 99-1 to lock y’all up:

    Citizens who are suspected of joining Al Qaeda are opening themselves up “to imprisonment and death,” Mr. Graham said, adding, “And when they say, ‘I want my lawyer,’ you tell them: ‘Shut up. You don’t get a lawyer. You are an enemy combatant, and we are going to talk to you about why you joined Al Qaeda.’ ”

  96. 96.

    Steve

    December 1, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    @Hunter Gathers: Ha! I love it. You can be frickin’ Bernie Sanders, and it doesn’t matter, cast one vote a progressive doesn’t like and it’s like “fuck him, he’s dead to me.”

    Bonus points if the reason you voted that way is because you think Social Security is the highest priority. What a tool, huh?

  97. 97.

    Karen

    December 1, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    OMG Grody to the Max!

    We’re not going to have the 80s hair again are we? My hair will get fried with all that hair spray!

    Gag me with a spoon!

    I can hear the Newster’s newest pitch now:

    Pretty girls shouldn’t be wasted. They can make money for their education and service the country! As for the ugly girls? They can make up for their disgusting outsides by giving the sacrifice of their insides.

    And the boys? If it’s good enough for Sierra Leone it’s good enough for our country, darn it!

    Can I hear an Amen! Oh that Newtie, such a beastie. Barf me out!

  98. 98.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    December 1, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    @stickler:

    You truly need to go to RedState and read the comments in the latest NewtFest FP post. It’s nothing but deep despair and extreme joy, depending on if you are sane or insane. The GOP knows that every one of their presidential candidates is a total train wreck in one form or another. The crazies are overjoyed that The Reptile is in first place and the sane are despairing that their party has stooped so low as to even consider him as a presidential candidate.

    That their alternative to The Reptile is second place Multiple Choice Mitt Romney only adds to their despair.

    Yum. :)

  99. 99.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Newts are amphibians.

  100. 100.

    MTiffany

    December 1, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    “maybe Newt can flip the track and bring the old school back, at least for the next few months”

    I hope to FSM, May His Noodly Appendage Touch You, that we do take the political conversation back a couple decades. We can then be reminded of how, for thirty years, the Republicans keep saying that if we just reduce marginal tax rates on the wealthiest Americans (excuse me, “job creators”), tax revenues will increase, and how, in thirty years, tax revenues have NEVER increased when marginal tax rates were decreased.
    Of course someone will have to stand up and say that, and keep repeating it fifty time a day, every day, until the general election, if that little nugget of truth is going to sink in.

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    What about “Ruth Marcus should be thrown into that lava pit over there, right away”?

    She should be condemned to spend eternity with David Brooks, listening to him read the complete collection of his “works.”

  101. 101.

    srv

    December 1, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Actually, we have the technology to make them fly.

  102. 102.

    El Cid

    December 1, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    Food Stamps with Obama VS Paychecks with Gingrich!

    On Tuesday’s “Hugh Hewitt Radio Show,” former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich acknowledged that his front-runner status would open up his political record to the same level of scrutiny that has already torpedoed other candidates. And presuming he is eventually debating President Obama instead of other Republicans, Gingrich said he would emulate former President Ronald Reagan — whose catch-phrase “there you go again” was the standard response to attacks from President Jimmy Carter in the 1980 presidential campaign
    __
    “Reagan thought for a long time about it,” Gingrich said. “He came up with a very simple phrase: ‘There you go again.’ And during the debate between Reagan and Carter, every time Carter started lying, Reagan would just smile and say, ‘There you go again.’ And everybody in the county said, ‘Got it. He’s lying.’ So, I’m happy to say I’ve already memorized ‘There you go again.’”
    __
    Gingrich said he had other tactics, including challenging Obama to seven three-hour Lincoln-Douglas-style debates with a time-keeper and a moderator to combat negative attacks. But he said Obama would be forced to go “negative” if the electoral options were “positive.”
    __
    “I want him to have to stand on a platform and defend a billion dollars’ worth of lies and smears,” Gingrich said.
    __
    “This is a president who cannot get reelected with a positive campaign. If it’s two positive choices ending up in food stamps with Obama versus paychecks with Gingrich, everybody knows we will beat him very badly.
    __
    “So we have to expect they’re going to run a miserable, negative, vicious attack campaign. They’ll be proud of it. They’ll sit around on the evening telling each other how clever they are.”

    Please let this happen.

  103. 103.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    December 1, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s the Reptile.

    Someone at RedState called him a reptile and you know that it’s not wise to argue with crazy people, right?

    ;)

  104. 104.

    MazeDancer

    December 1, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Think the Repubs are starting to work up brokered convention Mitch Daniels/Jeb Bush fantasies.

    Will say a white – no doubt really white – knight, brokered convention winner would be the best PR move they could make. Huge publicity. Fresh start. Shorter time frame to fool the public into thinking they’re not racist/environment destroying/women hating monsters who cheat on their wives and want first-graders to clean toilets.

    Would give them much more to boost than 12 months of Willard. No way Mitt gonna make it through a year of interviews without snapping.

  105. 105.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 1, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: A fair point. Notice that I am not arguing with you.

  106. 106.

    ExurbanMom

    December 1, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    @kd bart: Started laughing hysterically and had to explain myself to hubby…thread winner!

  107. 107.

    Punchy

    December 1, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    What’s Sully think about Newt’s IQ?

  108. 108.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    December 1, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Nope, no argument there. Just an observation! :)

    On the manic depression at RedState, one member posted that they won’t vote if Newt or Romney are nominated. The response from one of the head honchos there?

    then you are probably at the wrong site
    streiff (Diary) Thursday, December 1st at 4:19PM EST (link)
     
    because we are conservative in the primary and GOP in the general and if you express that opinion after we choose a nominee you will be banned.

    Shorter Streiff: “Once we decide who gets to drive the clown car into the brick wall, everyone gets in the car with him or else!”

  109. 109.

    kindness

    December 1, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    Did you see that Grover Norquest met with a group of Republican CongressCritters today and told them that failure to vote for an extension of the Payroll Tax reductions for the middle class wasn’t a tax increase?

    The hypocrisy…it stings.

  110. 110.

    Citizen_X

    December 1, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    Miley Cyrus’ music video urging young people to engage in protests (“Liberty Walk”) to stand up

    Fuck. I liked OWS before they went commercial.

  111. 111.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 1, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    @kd bart:

    Heh. Chuckle.

  112. 112.

    Hawes

    December 1, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    @Citizen_X: Think Miley has a drum circle on that album?

  113. 113.

    Hawes

    December 1, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    Ever since Perry turned out to be somewhere between shower fungus and Appalachian banjo players on the IQ scale, I’ve always felt that Newt had a chance to be the NotRomney. He’s a fat, pasty, retirement aged white guy with anger issue, privilege and a charge account at Tiffany.

    He’s the walking embodiment of the modern GOP.

  114. 114.

    Donut

    December 1, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    For the record, I clearly recall hearing Bernie Sanders discuss, on Thom Hartmann’s radio show, his opposition to the payroll tax cut way way back when it was first proposed. As mentioned above, the stance he took is that it starves the Social Security trust, and he thinks there are far better ways to put more dollars into the pockets of working families. I would have liked to see the cut confine, too, but mainly for selfish reasons. We here in the Donut household are getting by on one income only and the tax cut was pretty nice for us. Still, I don’t totally disagree with the logic behind the vote Sanders took today.

  115. 115.

    MikeJ

    December 1, 2011 at 11:23 pm

    @stickler:

    Are we really contemplating Newt F*cking Gingrich as the next GOP nominee for President? Every cartoonist in the country (and half the joke-writers) are on their knees right now, praying for this to be true.

    They’re way ahead of you.

  116. 116.

    PhoenixRising

    December 1, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    @srv:

    and sharks with frickin’ lasers patrolling the Rio Grande.

    Unless they can walk, I don’t see how that works. No hay agua.

    Si que hay, hasta Elephant Butte. (No, that’s not a code word for the GOP, it’s an actual location in New Mexico at which El Rio Bravo del Norte is dammed. Now, that puts your border checkpoint within the 47th state, but WTH, let’s have fun with this.)

    If I get amphibious sharks that can shoot lasers on my commute…I will vote Republican.

    Otherwise, ¡no pasa el lagarton!

  117. 117.

    Lizzy L

    December 1, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    Noot! Noot! Noot! *waves foam finger* We’re number one!

    I give it six weeks before the clown car deflates, or blows up, or self-destructs in some other blissfully entertaining way.

    And if I’m wrong, and Noot is actually, truly, very truly the Republican choice for President — oh my. As Barney Frank said, I did not think I had lived a good enough life.

  118. 118.

    priscianusjr

    December 1, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    This is exactly the music the base wants to hear.

    So — cool. Nobody else does, though.

  119. 119.

    priscianusjr

    December 2, 2011 at 12:03 am

    @Hawes:

    He’s a fat, pasty, retirement aged white guy with anger issue, privilege and a charge account at Tiffany.– He’s the walking embodiment of the modern GOP.

    Let Gingrich be Gingrich!

  120. 120.

    J

    December 2, 2011 at 12:07 am

    Just re-listened to Doo Wop, and I feel compelled to point out that I think she opens that song by saying “Remember back on the boulie when cats used to harmonize…” I think it’s “boulie,” as in short for boulevard, not back in the day. Seen a bunch of lyrics sites that say “back in the boogie,” but that doesn’t make any sense. I think it’s an abbreviation of boulevard — remembering some dope cats who sang back on the boulevard in harmony.

    Great song either way, and great post.

  121. 121.

    smintheus

    December 2, 2011 at 12:17 am

    This evening my neighbor, a blue collar wingnut bellwether, was really ragging on old Herm though he’s been a huge supporter until a few days ago. So Cain is finished.

    He’s still a tad sceptical about Gingrich’s tawdry personal life. But he was digging in and defending his call to repeal child labor laws. They’re no longer necessary because parents these days would never send their kids out to work, and besides, he remembers when he was a kid how all that paperwork he needed for his job was so onerous. Also, too, labor unions are no longer necessary.

    Child labor laws. There’s nothing the Republican base won’t accept the very moment their candidate first proposes it…especially if they think lefties will hate it.

  122. 122.

    DougJ

    December 2, 2011 at 12:38 am

    @J:

    Yeah, I realized it was “on the boogie” a little after I wrote it. One of my favorite recent songs in any case!

  123. 123.

    Joel

    December 2, 2011 at 12:49 am

    @DougJ: Well, then. Ahmad would have been the choice.

  124. 124.

    AA+ Bonds

    December 2, 2011 at 2:23 am

    Nice title, nice piece, Doug

  125. 125.

    Alex S.

    December 2, 2011 at 5:31 am

    The nomination of Newt would be a great justice. The illegitimate spawn of Nixon and Reagan that finally drives this version of the GOP into the ground. He is the one most to blame for the political dysfunction of the day, because of the government shutdown and the Clinton impeachment. Let them reap what they sowed.

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