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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Bros before hos

Bros before hos

by DougJ|  December 4, 201111:30 pm| 57 Comments

This post is in: Election 2012

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One serial philanderer endorses another:

BREAKING: Sources tell FOX 5 News that Herman Cain will endorse Newt Gingrich Monday for the GOP Presidential Nominee.

How long ago did people stop joking about Republicans’ “family values”? I want to say it was around 2006.

I’d like to think these endorsements matter, but I’m not sure they do. I’ll wait for Nate Silver to weigh in on this before I say anything stupid.

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57Comments

  1. 1.

    kdaug

    December 4, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    before I say anything stupid

    Caught the “til”, Doug. Proofreading is your friend.

    ETA: More saliently, I suspect that particular combo will be repulsive to a good many “conservative Christians”. And without their holy support, how does the GOP win?

  2. 2.

    reflectionephemeral

    December 4, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    Yeah, I was talking about the same thing yesterday: “In the grandly conceived farce that is the Republican primary, the apparent beneficiary of a candidate’s implosion due to womanizing is high-flying, thrice-married Newt Gingrich”.

    My post is just about how PPP found that Cain voters love Gingrich and hate Romney, as a second choice. Hadn’t heard anything about this endorsement until today.

    That the folks in question have demonstrably repulsive values doesn’t matter, of course, because GOP affiliation is entirely attributable to tribalism, with no particular convictions regarding ethics, morality, or policy.

  3. 3.

    gnomedad

    December 4, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    I think this is the right time to trot out this cartoon.

  4. 4.

    Hunter Gathers

    December 4, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    If anything, it’ll be easier for the dipshits who were giving The Hermanator money to get grifted by Newton, and a few million dollars isn’t anything to spit at.

  5. 5.

    Suffern ACE

    December 4, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Criminies. That’s rather unsportsmanlike. He took those potential primary voters from Bachman and Perry, and since he isn’t using them any longer, should give those potential voters back to them, just to give them another chance to see if they can hold on to voters a 2nd time around.

  6. 6.

    cleter

    December 4, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    I’m glad the family-values conservatives who were pining to vote for a clownish adulterer have found somewhere else to go.

  7. 7.

    burnspbesq

    December 4, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    Every time I think about the possibility that any of the current crop of Republican candidates might win, I’m not sure whether I should vomit or thank God I have a skill-set that is in demand in every major industrialized country. And yes, I know those are not mutually exclusive.

  8. 8.

    kdaug

    December 4, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    @reflectionephemeral:

    That the folks in question have demonstrably repulsive values doesn’t matter, of course, because GOP affiliation is entirely attributable to tribalism, with no particular convictions regarding ethics, morality, or policy.

    Dunno. The folks I know who reliably vote Rep tend to be scolds, undone at the state of the nation and the world (nothing like GW, mind you, but morally). A dual philanderer combo – well, they might hate President Obama that much, but I’d reckon more of a hands-up-in-disgust, pox-on-both-houses mindset.

  9. 9.

    electricgrendel

    December 4, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    I would like to say at this point that it is a bit disingenuous for us liberals to make fun of the failure of GOP voters to toss out the philandering bums. We are, after all, a party that is supposedly interested in rights, economic equality and fairness yet consistently see the members of our party vote for things like the Iraq AUMF, the PATRIOT Act, Bush’s tax cuts while at the same time fighting against the public option or Medicare for All.

    Maybe they, like we, view our options as imperfect vessels for our ideals. I’d be a bit more forgiving if they weren’t such sociopathic prudes with a tendency to meddle.

  10. 10.

    burnspbesq

    December 4, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    @reflectionephemeral:

    demonstrably repulsive

    Repulsive to you, perhaps, but eleven months from now somewhere between 57 million and 65 million Americans will vote for a Presidential candidate who personifies those values. Don’t kid yourself.

    If you want that number to be closer to 57 million than to 65 million, best get busy.

  11. 11.

    fasteddie9318

    December 5, 2011 at 12:00 am

    Cain’s core voters seem creepily obsessed with submitting to his every utterance, if the testimonials on his campaign website can be believed, so I wonder if his endorsement might not carry a little more weight than the typical endorsement. If it swings even a portion of his voters to Newt that’s a big deal, because you have to assume that the rest aren’t going to Romney, they’ll either go to another one of the clowns or just lose interest.

  12. 12.

    slag

    December 5, 2011 at 12:02 am

    @electricgrendel:

    We are, after all, a party that is supposedly interested in rights, economic equality and fairness yet consistently see the members of our party vote for things like the Iraq AUMF, the PATRIOT Act, Bush’s tax cuts while at the same time fighting against the public option or Medicare for All.

    Ha! How long has it been since the Democrats have been able to brand themselves as anything real? Last I heard, the Dems were branded the “big tent” party. Has that changed recently? Are the Democrats really branding themselves as social justice civil libertarians again? Because if so, over half of the sitting Democratic representatives will have to go.

  13. 13.

    Redshift

    December 5, 2011 at 12:04 am

    I’ll wait for Nate Silver to weigh in on this before I say anything stupid.

    I believe Nate is generally of the opinion that the only endorsements that really matter are people like governors and unions, who can actually provide resources on the ground. That’s among elected officials, though; I’m not sure how it figures into drop-out-and-endorse situations. I’d be willing to bet that such endorsements don’t have any effect, unless they’re late enough that the candidate actually has delegates (and maybe not even then.)

  14. 14.

    blahblah

    December 5, 2011 at 12:10 am

    The only part that doesn’t make sense to me is why Cain insisted that Callista be present when he endorses Newt.

  15. 15.

    blahblah

    December 5, 2011 at 12:11 am

    I could tell those two were close. Maybe in 2016 they’ll co-author a book and run together to sell it.

  16. 16.

    blahblah

    December 5, 2011 at 12:14 am

    Gingrich/Cain 2012: “Your kid’s at work, wanna fuck?”

  17. 17.

    blahblah

    December 5, 2011 at 12:16 am

    Okay, I’m done for now.

  18. 18.

    kwAwk

    December 5, 2011 at 12:19 am

    I’d like to think these endorsements matter, but I’m not sure they do. I’ll wait for Nate Silver to weigh in on this before I say anything stupid.

    Please don’t wait. It’s much more enjoyable for the rest of us when you don’t.

    No guts no glory!

  19. 19.

    AxelFoley

    December 5, 2011 at 12:21 am

    @blahblah:

    Gingrich/Cain 2012: “Your kid’s at work, wanna fuck?”

    [spits out drink]

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  20. 20.

    patrick II

    December 5, 2011 at 12:23 am

    @blahblah:

    Nice finish.

  21. 21.

    JGabriel

    December 5, 2011 at 12:24 am

    DougJ:

    One serial philanderer endorses another …

    Now that’s really not fair. Near as I can tell, there was nothing serial about Cain’s philandering — dude was, at least, two-timing and probably more.

    Don’t shortchange the guy.

    .

  22. 22.

    Redshift

    December 5, 2011 at 12:31 am

    @JGabriel: Right — Cain was a serial sexual harasser; if he was also a serial philanderer, we haven’t heard about it yet.

  23. 23.

    MikeJ

    December 5, 2011 at 12:32 am

    @JGabriel: So you say he is a parallel philanderer, not serial.

    Insert parity bit joke here.

  24. 24.

    blahblah

    December 5, 2011 at 12:38 am

    Well okay, due to critical acclaim I’ll repost some of my other ones.

    “In return, Gingrich is endorsing sexual assault”

    “Newt Gingrich will be accepting the endorsement Wednesday, and Callista Gingrich will be accepting the out of court settlement two weeks after that.”

  25. 25.

    srv

    December 5, 2011 at 12:40 am

    @blahblah:

    why Cain insisted that Callista be present

    Maybe a hummer was part of the deal.

  26. 26.

    JGabriel

    December 5, 2011 at 12:42 am

    @MikeJ:

    Insert parity bit joke here.

    Well, that was the harassment.

    .

  27. 27.

    handsmile

    December 5, 2011 at 12:54 am

    Now that his presidential grift is over and that Fox Noise gig may not be forthcoming, perhaps his campaign has revealed Herman’s true calling: lounge singer.

    I ask you, after his “Give pizza a chance” smash hit, is there a man alive who could better cover, “Let’s Get It On”? (Just recall that come-hither grin at the end of his now-classic Marlboro Man ad.)

    Herman and Lady GaGa live at next year’s Grammys! Platinum, baby!

  28. 28.

    Sly

    December 5, 2011 at 1:00 am

    Maybe Gingrich can tell America’s black youth that they should think about what a great role model Herman Cain would be as they are forced to scrub their school’s toilets at the end of the day in order to “build character” instead of doing something silly like homework or school sports or just, I dunno, being a goddamned kid.

    So long as they’re not looking up to the Kenyan Anti-Colonialist, its all good.

  29. 29.

    Jewish Steel

    December 5, 2011 at 1:07 am

    @Sly: Newt definitely lost the janitor vote with talk like that. And we are a bloc not to be trifled with. We have keys to everything.

  30. 30.

    Calouste

    December 5, 2011 at 1:09 am

    Remember that post a few days back about an Iowa Republican who complained that the choice was between a Mormon with one wife, a Catholic with three wives or an Evangelical with a harem?

    We could point out to him that, whatever happens in the GOP primary, he can vote for a mainstream Protestant who’s faithful to his wife in the general election.

  31. 31.

    Spaghetti Lee

    December 5, 2011 at 1:11 am

    I’m not surprised. They probably met each other in the ’90s while trying to grope the same woman at once.

  32. 32.

    amk

    December 5, 2011 at 1:11 am

    @electricgrendel:

    if they weren’t such sociopathic prudes with a tendency to meddle.

    bingo. these mofos do real damage in real life unlike the grumpy left on their blogs. Their weapon ? Their vote. It’s time the moronic left realized the value of it.

  33. 33.

    Roger Moore

    December 5, 2011 at 1:14 am

    Cain endorses Gingrich, assures supporters that Gingrich is absolutely, positively not the same person as Mitt Romney. “They’ve even been seen in the same room together, so we can be completely sure that a vote for Newt Gingrich is not the same thing as a vote for Mitt Romney,” the former candidate told his few remaining supporters.

  34. 34.

    S. cerevisiae

    December 5, 2011 at 1:16 am

    This was only a matter of time. h/t Thread Bear at Sadly, No.

  35. 35.

    eemom

    December 5, 2011 at 1:29 am

    please do not idolize Nate Silver. kthxbai.

  36. 36.

    smintheus

    December 5, 2011 at 1:32 am

    @fasteddie9318: Endorsements almost never have more than a negligible effect, and then only if the endorser can deliver the votes in relation to something very specific. A union leader who has an apparatus at his disposal, for example, backing a candidate who’s offering union members a thing they want. But an ordinary candidate dropping out of a race usually can’t deliver votes to a rival.

    In any case, Cain has very few supporters left that he could try to persuade…and a habit of saying he’s for something one day, and he was only joking the next.

  37. 37.

    dead existentialist

    December 5, 2011 at 1:43 am

    Herman Cain

    This is from S. cerevisiae’s link.

    Crazy.

  38. 38.

    Jenny

    December 5, 2011 at 2:15 am

    Gingrich just captured the elusive black gop vote.

  39. 39.

    Spaghetti Lee

    December 5, 2011 at 2:31 am

    @S. cerevisiae:

    Oh my. That was fun.

  40. 40.

    Jenny

    December 5, 2011 at 2:38 am

    the only thing this endorsement accomplishes is yet another bad media week for Mittens.

    Which is bad since the nomination is now a media war and not a retail campaign.

  41. 41.

    forked tongue

    December 5, 2011 at 2:42 am

    Now all Newt needs is Trump’s endorsement to completely sew up the sexy ladies’ vote.

  42. 42.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2011 at 3:04 am

    @electricgrendel:

    We are, after all, a party that is supposedly interested in rights, economic equality and fairness yet consistently see the members of our party vote for things like the Iraq AUMF, the PATRIOT Act, Bush’s tax cuts while at the same time fighting against the public option or Medicare for All.

    So instead we’re supposed to vote for Republicans, the guys who actually originated all of those great ideas, and overlook their personal moral failings, too? Or is this more of that winning “Republicrats” strategy from 2000 where we encourage Democratic voters to stay home because that will totally encourage Democrats to do better next time?

  43. 43.

    bago

    December 5, 2011 at 3:28 am

    At least someone is bringing sexy back.

  44. 44.

    cmorenc

    December 5, 2011 at 4:05 am

    @Roger Moore:

    Cain endorses Gingrich, assures supporters that Gingrich is absolutely, positively not the same person as Mitt Romney. “They’ve even been seen in the same room together, so we can be completely sure that a vote for Newt Gingrich is not the same thing as a vote for Mitt Romney,” the former candidate told his few remaining supporters.

    Yes, but has anyone seen one of them speak while the other is drinking a glass of water? That’s the only way to prove for sure that one of them isn’t really just an elaborate puppet of the other one.

  45. 45.

    Jenny

    December 5, 2011 at 4:37 am

    Hopefully Cain will break out into song.

  46. 46.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 5, 2011 at 6:16 am

    @dead existentialist:

    I hope those clever BLR folks are working on one of these for Newt.

  47. 47.

    bin Lurkin'

    December 5, 2011 at 6:44 am

    @Mnemosyne: Physicist and Democratic Representative Rush Holt argues that payroll tax cuts undermine support for Social Security.

  48. 48.

    bin Lurkin'

    December 5, 2011 at 6:54 am

    A brilliant and hilarious tactic from Occupy Melbourne stymies the popo.

    I’m still laughing, I bet the cops aren’t though..

  49. 49.

    Ben Cisco

    December 5, 2011 at 7:06 am

    John Cleese hisownself couldn’t have scripted something this ridiculous.

  50. 50.

    DanielX

    December 5, 2011 at 8:11 am

    Mercy me, the hits just keep on coming and the jokes just write themselves, don’t they? My first thought was about who could conceivably see Herman Cain’s endorsement as an advantage, but it could produce some money and Newt is definitely all about the money, among other things. As for who would vote for any one of the characters in this ongoing freak show – and why – the best explanation I’ve ever read is the famous/infamous 27% Crazification Factor – see link below for the Kung Fu Monkey original, which has achieved semilegendary status.

    http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2005/10/lunch-discussions-145-crazification.html

    If anything, this underestimates the quantity and strength of Teh Crazy among Republican primary voters. Example: “The fact that Obama has not proposed any antigun legislation is PROOF of the deep seated conspiracy against and hatred of gun owners by him and his administration!”

    Whaddyagonnado?

  51. 51.

    El Cid

    December 5, 2011 at 9:48 am

    @bin Lurkin’: I agree in that it’s a bad idea to too frequently have Social Security paid out of general revenues, b/c it’s the sort of funding structure which makes it more politically vulnerable. It’s why it was set up as a social insurance system in the first place.

  52. 52.

    kth

    December 5, 2011 at 10:34 am

    According to the moneyball sites (monkey cage, bernstein, 538) Endorsements from governors and senators matter because they have political capital to gain or lose. In this they are like wealthy investors, to whose buys and sells other investors sometimes look both for investment advice and as evidence of trends.

    Whereas a losing candidate’s endorsement in those final seconds of fading limelight is like the last chip the ruined gambler places on the roulette table before he walks out of the casino empty-handed.

  53. 53.

    Drive-by Nomad

    December 5, 2011 at 10:47 am

    @blahblah:

    Gingrich/Cain 2012: “Your kid’s at work, wanna fuck?”

    WIN.

  54. 54.

    PurpleGirl

    December 5, 2011 at 11:04 am

    @bin Lurkin’: I agree with Rep. Holt. When the administration goes to put the money to cover that lost through the tax cut into the Social Security fund there will be a battle royale. Social Security will then be called a welfare benefit.

    We need to boost the Social Security fund. The best way to do that is to get people working again. When people don’t work, they don’t pay Social Security taxes. And I’m sure that somehow the Republican and their Democratic enablers will find a way to use the tax cuts and funding losses to change the program radically. I’ve always thought the SS tax cut was the wrong thing to do. WE NEED JOBS.

  55. 55.

    Lojasmo

    December 5, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Those Aussie occupiers are lucky the cops don’t pack. In amurrica, they’d be dead.

  56. 56.

    g

    December 5, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Wow, that didn’t take long. Cain sure gives it up quickly; no drawn out foreplay, or titillating teasing like our Sarah!

  57. 57.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    @bin Lurkin’:

    So does Joe Manchin, who so far has never found a tax break for millionaires that he didn’t love:

    “We shouldn’t let the federal government undermine Social Security by convincing Americans that they don’t really have to pay for it,” said Senator Joe Manchin, a West Virginia Democrat. “If we extend the cuts this year, what about the next year and the year after? When does it stop?”

    I doubt that an extra year of the payroll tax break is going to kill Social Security, especially if it’s financed with extra tax revenue. But you have to admit that the spectacle of Republicans scrambling to raise taxes on the majority of Americans so they can prevent multi-millionaires from having to pay an extra dime is a pretty engrossing one.

    ETA: Whether he wants to hear it or not, Rush Holt is giving cover to the Republicans on this one. He’s supporting the teabaggers and Eric Cantor in their war against the middle class. Great job there, Holt.

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