Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

White supremacy is terrorism.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Republicans in disarray!

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

This fight is for everything.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

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Reader Interactions

103Comments

  2. 2.

    Comrade Mary

    Oh, fucking great. I didn’t know that this blog would be full of spoilers for Game of Thrones.

  3. 3.

    shortstop

    That just hurts. “Dear Santa: Please bring me a red bike and a big bag of dignity. Your friend, Jon M.”

  4. 4.

    MariedeGournay

    The only dwarf I’m seeing Mr. Meacham is the one keeping the broken down engine of your brain from completely shutting down.

  6. 6.

    beltane

    Lest anyone complain that Jon Meacham is an overpaid hack, I’d like to point out that most of us could never find it in us to write something so stupid even with the assistance of large quantities of drugs and alcohol.

  7. 7.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Holy crap. Stupid + stupefying = Stupidefying. I thought I already held Parson Meacham in minimum high regard, but my opinion of him just plummeted.

  8. 8.

    Hungry Joe

    Newt’s going to be a traitor to his class?

    Wait — Newt already IS a traitor to his (original) class. Point well taken, Meacham.

  10. 10.

    Rommie

    Involved in a World War? Yeah, Newt could have that on his resume just like FDR. Hell, he’d probably start it by pulling his asshat routine on the wrong leader-type.

  11. 11.

    BGinCHI

    Didn’t that stupid motherfucker win a genius award or a MacArthur or something?

    Jesus Christ, has the national discourse gotten that stupid? I know it’s not because we don’t have lots of smart people in this country. We do. But the goddamn media discourse is pitched at such a low level it’s just astonishing.

    I can only hope that younger Americans extend their rejection of the nightly news and newspapers to these empty talking heads.

  12. 12.

    Brian R.

    Now that I think about it, I guess Newt and FDR have something in common.

    Both suffered from paralysis. With FDR, it was polio, but Newt’s just more of a run-of-the-mill intellectual and emotional cripple.

  13. 13.

    shortstop

    @BGinCHI: No, no, he got a “One of America’s Top Journalists” honor from Newt after ponying up $5,000 for a seat at the awards dinner. Actually, I think he went 15 grand for the whole table.

  15. 15.

    carpeduum

    Let’s see if BJ can get caught up in the Newtmentum enough to outpost the number of Cainmentum posts per day. No statistics on how many reader they make throw up in their mouths in the process.

  16. 16.

    martha

    What shocks me is that these people don’t stop and edit themselves before they hit the send button. That’s his real name, right? His friends and colleagues will know he wrote something that completely and utterly stupid, right?

  17. 17.

    slag

    Absolutely! And Callista could be the next Eleanor!

    Why have I not seen this before? The similarities…they are glaring.

  18. 18.

    Ben Cisco

    These folks are devolving right before our very eyes.
    __
    I feel like someone should be making a video of this for posterity or something.

  19. 19.

    KG

    @beltane: nah, I could do it sober… I’d just look at reality and then think “how would Hugh Hewitt spin this?” and come up with similar bullshit.

  20. 20.

    beltane

    @Hungry Joe: Come to think of it, Newt is very good at betrayal. I suppose this makes him a moral giant in the vapid world of the Village elite.

  21. 21.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    But, but, but, but Newt would be a brilliant idea guy and make the White House into an Idea Factory! Washington Post said so, guyz!

  22. 22.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Al Franken used to talk about his brief tenure as a Newsweek columnist, and the very conservative, nameless editor who hated his POV and his most unseemly jocularity. I always assumed he was talking about the Parson. Franken laughed about it, but there was real contempt in his voice. Maybe I was projecting.

  23. 23.

    NLG Transformative

    You have nothing to fear but
    Al Queda
    That Kenyan influenced NeoSocialist Black Man in the White House
    GSE’s run amuck (but wait until the check clears)
    Dirty Smelly Privileged Spawn of Liberal Hacks
    Egypt Libya Iran Pakistan Take your pick
    Poor Kids learning Capitalism on the Street, When It should be taught in the schools, by Janitors…
    Tiffany Bills

  25. 25.

    Villago Delenda Est

    It’s surprising that this Meacham guy is alive. He seems to be too fucking stupid to regulate his own breathing.

  27. 27.

    beltane

    @KG: But you know you’d be laughing inside. Meacham churns this crap out with a straight face. He’s really no better than that Hindraker clown in DougJ’s thread.

  29. 29.

    trollhattan

    Oh. Dear. God.

    This tool occasionally appears on Maher to suck some valuable oxygen out of the studio. I realized he was dumb, but did not appreciate how vastly I’d overrated him.

  30. 30.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @shortstop:

    Was that the same awards dinner where they honored strippers and porn stars for their entrepreneurial spirit…and then took away the awards after they figured out what exactly those people do?

  32. 32.

    Catsy

    I have a hard time grasping the level of lunacy or hackery it would take to make someone capable of writing that sentence unironically. And even as snark or irony it ain’t that funny.

  33. 33.

    jl

    @beltane: And my Lord, what the column dumb. It read like one of those toss off half joking column fillers I remember reading in Readers’s Digest when I was a wee lad.

    But, you know, Meacham might have a point. Look at FDR, resigning as Secty of the Navy in disgrace after the shipbuilding setbacks with all the strikes on his watch, and the money scandals. How FDR electorally wilted like a flower with other Democrats during recessions. Getting mixed up with crooked power broker lobbyists like Francis Perkins, and the crooked book deals while two term governor of New York really tainted his…

    oh… wait…

    Edit: but every cloud laughing so hard it rains has a silver lining. Wikipedia says Reader’s Digest still exists. See. I learned something today. Thank you Mr. Meacham.

  34. 34.

    BGinCHI

    The douchebag is also an executive VP at Random House. Here is how he is currently ruining the publishing industry:

    “Meacham is editing books by, among others, Al Gore, Clara Bingham, Charles Peters, Mary Soames, Mika Brzezinski, Joe Scarborough, Jeremy McCarter, and Matthew Bowman. He is also supervising the publication of the letters of Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. and four real-time e-books on Campaign 2012 by Politico’s Mike Allen and Evan Thomas.”

    From his wiki page.

  36. 36.

    Amir Khalid

    From Meacham’s story in Time”

    If not quite F.D.R. — and who is? — George H.W. Bush proved a fine president, and he looks better and better as the years pass.

    Huh? That’s not the HW presidency I remember.

  37. 37.

    KG

    @beltane: it’s funny, even when I was deep in the woods in law school and involved with the Federalist Society, I’d look around at some of them and just think, “really?” So, yeah, I’d be laughing on the inside, but I could probably keep a straight face long enough for some people to think I was serious…

  38. 38.

    danimal

    Good God, could it actually happen? I’ve been in the Romney inevitability camp for a while, but it only takes a month or two and the Gingrich boomlet will wreck absolute havoc on the GOP. The GOP hasn’t been worthy of respect for quite a while, but I never thought they would wind up this rudderless this close to a presidential election.

    Barack Obama is the luckiest or smartest man alive if he winds up going up against Newt. Thank you for the Newt-fluffing, agent Jon M!

  40. 40.

    EconWatcher

    This just in: Gingrich responds to Pelosi that if she were to release info from the House ethics investigation of Gingrich, she would herself face ethical charges, because that stuff’s all confidential under House rules. http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/12/gingrich-thanks-pelosi-for-the-early-christmas-gift.php?ref=fpnewsfeed

    Is it just me, or is that an unbelievably hamfisted response? “Yeah, Pelosi says House investigation files would prove I’m even more of a lying scumbag than already known. But that stuff cannot legally be released. So in your face!”

    Really, that’s your answer?

  41. 41.

    JCT

    OMFG. Someone should go visit FDR’s grave because he is spinning so hard he might achieve liftoff.

    Wow, I’m with @Villago Delenda Est: on this one.

    Newt Fucking Leroy Gingrich couldn’t hold FDR’s jock.

  42. 42.

    Soonergrunt

    That’s the most hacktacular thing I’ve read in several weeks.
    Alas, it won’t be the last, now that Newtie is in high gear.

  45. 45.

    KG

    @danimal: I’ve been saying for a while that it’s Romney’s because he’s next in line. But Gingrich has his history as Speaker (still viewed favorably by Republicans) to help him make the argument that he’s next. I don’t know how well that plays out just yet, but it’s something to keep an eye on.

  46. 46.

    jl

    Oops. FDR was Asst. Secty of the Navy.

    Anyway, nothing to compare to the mighty Newt’s political record, and look what happened to that Tammany Hall crony FDR.

    If an old scandal tainted money laundering crony wardheeler chased from office by scandal blowhard like FDR could rise to greatness, what can stop a world historical figure like Newt?

  48. 48.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    @Soonergrunt:

    It’ll seem positively mundane soon enough.

    I’m saving up for a giant jug of Southern Comfort to help me get through this primary season.

  49. 49.

    beltane

    @Amir Khalid: The presidency of George HW Bush only looks “fine” is comparison with the presidency of his son, which really doesn’t mean much.

  51. 51.

    Citizen_X

    If an old scandal tainted money laundering crony wardheeler chased from office by scandal blowhard like FDR could rise to greatness, what can stop a world historical figure like Newt?

    Your snark, it is delicious.

  52. 52.

    Redshift

    “Highly unlikely, but let’s remember, today’s dwarf is sometimes tomorrow’s giant”

    WTF? What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

    For one thing, Newt is 68; I think he’s well past any “growth spurt.”

    Highly unlikely doesn’t begin to cover it. There’s a physics term “impossible in principle,” which means “less than a 50% chance of occurring once in the lifetime of the universe.”

    At least he admits Gingrich is a dwarf in regards to public stature.

  54. 54.

    Comrade Mary

    You know, all those “Newt” jokes are so, so 90s. I think more attention should be paid to Disgraced Former Speaker Gingrich’s middle name.

    Leeroy Jenkins, sometimes misspelled Leroy Jenkins and often elongated with numerous additional letters, is an Internet phenomenon named for a player character created by Ben Schulz in Blizzard Entertainment’s MMORPG, World of Warcraft. The character became popular due to a video of the game that circulated around the Internet. The phenomenon has since spread beyond the boundaries of the gaming community into other online and mainstream media.
    __
    The video was released by the World of Warcraft player guild “PALS FOR LIFE”. It features a group of players discussing a detailed battle strategy for the next encounter while one of their party members, Leeroy, is away from his computer. Their plan is ruined when Leeroy returns and, ignorant of the strategy, immediately charges headlong into battle shouting his own name in a stylized battle cry. His companions rush to help, but Leeroy’s actions ruin the meticulous plan, and all of the group members are killed.

    Also: Know Your Meme’s video on the phenomenon.

  55. 55.

    Steve

    Millions of Americans hated FDR. Therefore, anyone who is widely hated might be the next FDR, for all we know. I believe that is the actual argument!

  57. 57.

    beltane

    @Redshift: Newt is not too bright in this respect. His ego and foul temper have a tendency to get the better of his judgment every time. When push comes to shove he will display a rage that will make old man McCain seem like a warm, cuddly grandpa.

  59. 59.

    jl

    @Redshift:

    “For one thing, Newt is 68”

    But Newt is hundreds of years old in newt years. Anything is possible for a hyperborean. Ha. I watch you weep as your flimsy anti Newt argument falls apart.

  60. 60.

    SensesFail

    @trollhattan:

    This tool occasionally appears on Maher to suck some valuable oxygen out of the studio. I realized he was dumb, but did not appreciate how vastly I’d overrated him.

    I no longer watch “Morning Joe” (I now value life far too much to waste any of it watching that piece of shit), but when I did, that massive tool was a pretty regular guest, which is not surprising, since he truly is the quintessential “Morning Joe” guest.

  62. 62.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Comrade Mary:

    Two of my WoW toons have the “Jenkins” title amongst those they can display.

    It’s for killing 50 dragon whelps in under 15 seconds. Pretty easy to do now with over-powered high level characters, and a decent AOE (Area of Effect) attack in your spellbook.

    But back in the day, yes, Leeroy was a dumbass.

    Sort of like how Newton Leroy Gingrich is now. And always has been.

  63. 63.

    slag

    @martha: Yeah. It’s almost enough to make you feel sorry for these people. And if you thought it would do any good, you probably would feel sorry for them. But as it is, ridicule is so much more entertaining than pity.

  65. 65.

    Lojasmo

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Al always seems like that to me. Whenever I spend time with him, I get the impression that he dislikes me personally.

    More likely he is thinking “what does Laura (Mrs. Lojasmo) see in this putz?”

    ETA “dwarf>giant” circumference?

  66. 66.

    slag

    @gnomedad:

    On the other hand, he could be the next Gandhi.

    Or the next Stalin.

    This is why we need to make abortion all decision-making illegal. You never know what Newt will grow up as.

  68. 68.

    Ruckus

    Martin, in the prior thread said (and yes I’m editorializing a bit) the bar for conservatard intelligence is mighty low.
    I’d have to go for, beneath the snake shit, Badwater, CA (That’s Death Valley) low. But given the evidence here, I may be aiming too high even with that.

  69. 69.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    That’s delicious irony all the way down because on Planet Conservative FDR was the man who prolonged the Great Depression and then tricked us into World War Two. One of Newt’s first tomes was a book denouncing FDR.

  70. 70.

    geg6

    Jeebus fucking keerist on a goddam biscuit.

    Why doesn’t Meacham just give him a blowjob right on national teevee?

    I hate our emessem with a white hot passion. I think I really don’t have to explain why to anyone here.

  71. 71.

    FormerSwingVoter

    I’m happy. I just read a CNN report about the payroll tax cut debate, and instances of the term “job creators” were always in quotes.

    Good to see that some folks are aware that Republican opinions are opinions, not facts.

    Small steps, but still, it put a smile on my face for some reason.

  72. 72.

    Calouste

    I completely agree with Mr. Meacham.

    Well, at least with his description of Newt Gingrich as today’s dwarf.

  73. 73.

    catclub

    Newt Gingrich was born in an Army Hospital and has been coddled by government all his life. He dodged the draft in the 60’s.

    Another sideways reminder of Twain’s comment that if you want gratitude, get a dog. A Newt candidacy would be so much fun. He sent out memos that democrats should be referred to with adjectives such as treasonous. He was the only Speaker of the house to be fined for ethics violations.

    Dwarf indeed.

  74. 74.

    El Cid

    It’ll take a man of the stature of Newt Gingrich to fix all the things that FDR broke that Ronald Reagan didn’t get the chance to finish fixing.

  80. 80.

    David Koch

    What if Robert E. Lee had a predator drone at Gettysburg?

    What if Lincoln was wearing a stove pipe hat made of kevlar at Ford’s theater?

    What if cats had wings?

  81. 81.

    carpeduum

    Could Cain be the next Cassanova? Highly unlikely but even serial sexual harassers could become a legendary ladies man.

  89. 89.

    Delia

    @David Koch:

    What if cats had wings?

    If cats had wings they would dive bomb our dinners and human civilization would never have happened. Unfortunately, they don’t have wings and we are forced to contend with bad-tempered narcissists like Newt and his moronic enablers.

  91. 91.

    JWL

    Newt as FDR? I can see it.

    I could be the next Einstein, too. Of course, it’s been 40 years since I cracked a math book, and even back then, the numbers never quite clicked with me. But, odds aside, it could happen, and that’s indisputable.

    Gingrich-Trump in 2012!

  92. 92.

    Lysana

    Dear Mr. Meacham,

    We thank you for submitting the resume and headshot of your client, Newt Gingrich. It was a most entertaining read. However, the casting process for “the next FDR” has already been completed. The role has been given on a provisional basis to Barack Obama. These casting jobs are always delicate and hard to predict, but we are quite confident he will continue to grow in the role, especially as history plays out.

    But again, thank you for the submission. We needed a good laugh over dinner.

    Sincerely,
    Future History Casting
    Department of Social Progress

  93. 93.

    handsmile

    WTF?? Marcus Brauchli (executive editor) or Fred Hiatt (editorial page editor) must be stepping down from their position at Kaplan Test Prep Daily, and Meacham has submitted this essay as part of the job application.

    Nothing else could explain something this stupid.

    And Nellcote’s comment above (#79) skewers the reason why PBS is the disgraceful news organization it has now become.

  95. 95.

    Abe Seeman

    That pontificating, morally righteous asshat ruined Newsweek and still appears regularly on Morning Joe .

  98. 98.

    marina

    Re: #33 That’s not “Francis Perkins,” it’s Frances Perkins. I wasn’t alive when she was active, but boy, I sure do miss her…

  99. 99.

    Jim C

    I love how Meacham is looking for a leader who is “cloak” worthy.

    Wasn’t that a Seinfeld episode?

  101. 101.

    fasteddie9318

    Maybe Meacham saw how well Herb Cain’s show worked out and has decided to do a performance art piece on the state of Village punditry.

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