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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / He Is Aware Obama Is Not on the Ballot, Right

He Is Aware Obama Is Not on the Ballot, Right

by John Cole|  December 7, 20111:50 pm| 67 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity, Sociopaths

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Rick Perry is spending big bucks on an ad buy, and it really makes no sense to me:

Not one mention of Newt or Mitt, his actual rivals in the contest. I guess he is just doubling down on the gay bashing, hoping that the Christian Right bigot brigade will carry another know-nothing Texas hick to victory just because he loves the baby Jeebus more than everyone else.

BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

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67Comments

  1. 1.

    Karmakin

    December 7, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Well, it makes sense if you understand that the Republican primary race is nothing more than a trolling contest, to see who would be the most effective in trolling America.

  2. 2.

    catclub

    December 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Bring back the ‘Big Bad John’, John Cornyn ad!

  3. 3.

    jibeaux

    December 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Teagan Goddard (Political Wire) had a facebook post noting that this is the exact same jacket Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain. To much hotter effect, too, although Teagan didn’t mention that.

  4. 4.

    slag

    December 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    @Karmakin:

    Well, it makes sense if you understand that the Republican primary race is nothing more than a trolling contest, to see who would be the most effective in trolling America.

    Exactly. We build the bridges; they troll them. Tale as old as time.

  5. 5.

    ericblair

    December 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    Yeah, my place on 25 Dec 5AM. Daddy’s sleeping in, dammit.

    Help, I’m feeling oppressed! Oh, that was just a fart, I’m better now.

  6. 6.

    Alexandra

    December 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    “October December is the cruelest month of any election year, but by then the pain is so great that even the strong are like jelly and time has lost all meaning for anybody still involved in a political campaign. By that time, even candidates running unopposed have abandoned all hope of victory and live only for the day when they will finally be free to seek vengeance on all those treacherous bastards who once passed themselves off as loyal friends and allies and swore they were only in it because they all shared the same hopes and dreams…

    October December in the politics business is like drowning in scum or trying to hang on through the final hour of bastinado punishment….The flesh is dying and heart is full of hate: the winners are subpoenaed by divorce lawyers and the losers hole up in cheap motel rooms on the outskirts of town with a briefcase full of hypodermic needles and the certain knowledge that the next time their names get in the news papers will be when they are found dead and naked in a puddle of blood in the trunk of some filthy stolen car in an abandoned parking lot.

    Others are not so lucky and are doomed, like Harold Stassen, to wallow for the rest of their lives in the backwaters of local politics, cheap crooks, and relentless humiliating failures. By the time Halloween rolls around, most campaigns are bogged down in despair and paralyzed by a frantic mix of greed and desperation that comes with knowing that everything you have done or thought or worked for or believed in for the past two years was wrong and stupid.

    There are never enough seats on the last train out of the station…

    — Hunter S. Thompson

  7. 7.

    Waldo

    December 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Eh. He’ll keep flinging the poo — or in this case holy shit — till something sticks or his campaign sinks completely. He’s got the money and nothing to lose (dignity having long ago fled the scene), so why not?

  8. 8.

    The Moar You Know

    December 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Rick Perry just backed up the dump truck and threw a shitload of red meat out the back. I had to applaud.

    When he’s on, there’s nobody better. Glad that his Vicodin addiction takes priority over his campaign.

  9. 9.

    Ripley

    December 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    Rick Parry: y u no pull head out ass?

  10. 10.

    p.a.

    December 7, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    Oh those poor “closet” celebrators. Oh the humanity. We might as well be Saudi Arabia.

  11. 11.

    chopper

    December 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    wow, nothing about black helicopters? he’s getting soft.

  12. 12.

    Schlemizel

    December 7, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    No, there has never been a case of a kid being forced to not celebrate Christmas. Its bullshit like stopping kids from praying.

    I’m going to pray, right here, right now – you try to stop me . . .

    You failed. Now if I wanted to force you to listen to me while I pray that you probably could stop but it completely different.

  13. 13.

    Jay C

    December 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    @John Cole:

    Rick Perry is spending big bucks on an ad buy, and it really makes no sense to me

    Although given Perry’s poll numbers, a little gratuitous fag-bashing seasoned with a generous dollop of religious faux-oppressedness can’t possibly hurt him…

    And to think, the voters of Texas passed over Kinky Friedman for him…????

  14. 14.

    ed drone

    December 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    I hear the Hassidic kids kind of have a tough time of it — hiding their creches and all — but their eight-day winterfest sort of makes up for it.

    Ed

  15. 15.

    zzyzx

    December 7, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Now will any other candidate respond?

  16. 16.

    catclub

    December 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    There was a covert Christmas parade in my town. They announced different dates for it in the newspaper to throw off the atheist police. That, or they changed the date when it looked like rain.

  17. 17.

    James Hulsey

    December 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    You have to understand that we have different meanings to what “openly celebrate Christmas” means.

    We (or at least I) believe that to “openly celebrate Christmas” means that I can choose to celebrate Christmas in my home and church the way I see fit.

    They believe that to “openly celebrate Christmas” means that they can take every public accommodation imaginable (Town squares, Public Schools, etc.) and build every monument to the Baby Jesus they see fit, while loudly proclaiming that their “One True God” is the only one that is worthy enough to be so honored.

  18. 18.

    Palli

    December 7, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    A question: Is it important to these failing campaigns that much, or most, of their donated money actually gets laundered, used, before it is clear they won’t win?
    Spending money to the media, PR and ad firms is a way of distributing & enriching republican supporters, as well, isn’t it?

  19. 19.

    Brian R.

    December 7, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    The Daily Show had an outstanding segment on the War on Christmas bullshit last night.

  20. 20.

    Mike in NC

    December 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    Well, growing up in Saddam Hussein’s many palaces, Uday and Qusay probably didn’t get to put up a tree in every one. That had to hurt.

  21. 21.

    kindness

    December 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    Perry doesn’t care. So long as Texas judges can continue to mercilessly beat their children, Rick & the baby Jeebus are happy.

  22. 22.

    MikeJ

    December 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    I covertly celebrate by eating latkes. It throws people off.

  23. 23.

    FlipYrWhig

    December 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Most of the “proof” about inability to celebrate Christmas ends up being things like schools saying to bring white paper plates for December snacktime, not red and green ones. Or winter concerts where the kids don’t get to sing the Jesusiest Christmas songs.

  24. 24.

    TBogg

    December 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    Only on nights three through five of Hannukah

  25. 25.

    amk

    December 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    John, you’re aware that you’re missing a question mark, right ?

  26. 26.

    The Moar You Know

    December 7, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    This country sucks. If I go over to my Mooslim neighbors house, taunt him a little about how he’s going to hell, maybe slap him around a little just to let him know that Jesus rules and that’s the way we roll in this country, somehow I’M the bad guy and MY picture ends up on the front page of the paper as the threat to society.

    That’s what Rick Perry meant about having to celebrate Christmas covertly, retards. What part of “Christian Nation” do you not understand?

  27. 27.

    smintheus

    December 7, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    @The Moar You Know: Either that or he was complaining the Klan feel the need to wear hooded robes.

  28. 28.

    shortstop

    December 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    @James Hulsey: That is really perfectly put.

    This whole thread is hilarious — y’all are killin’ it.

  29. 29.

    slag

    December 7, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    @Brian R.: That was excellent. I haven’t seen such an impressive escalation of hostilities since Sauron opened up the northern front. Happy End of the Fiscal Fourth Quarter!

  30. 30.

    Ben Cisco

    December 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    “Rudolph, with your nose so bright, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU! THERE’S A WAR ON! DOUSE THAT F^&*+#G LIGHT!”

  31. 31.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    December 7, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Perry is running in the World Net Daily. ” Does the commander-in-chief approve or disapprove of bestiality in our armed forces?” Primary. (via The Blaze) The President has forced our troops to take showers with gays!

  32. 32.

    BFR

    December 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Not one mention of Newt or Mitt, his actual rivals in the contest

    I’d guess they think Newt’s irrelevant/will blow up etc and so they’re ignoring him completely. With Mitt, a direct attack on Mormonism probably doesn’t poll real well so they’re left with this identity level stuff.

  33. 33.

    Rihilism

    December 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    I keep trying to stop them from celebrating, but the damnable Whos keep thwarting my efforts…

  34. 34.

    Shinobi

    December 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    Only 4,900 dislikes? That does not seem like nearly enough.

  35. 35.

    BFR

    December 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    @jibeaux:

    Teagan Goddard (Political Wire) had a facebook post noting that this is the exact same jacket Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain. To much hotter effect, too, although Teagan didn’t mention that.

    Dude hearts that jacket – it shows up in a couple of his ads.

  36. 36.

    Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    December 7, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    God, I hate that guy. I’m a fairly religious guy, and a Christian, so I guess he must think I’m all right. We try to get to church every Sunday. We don’t make it every week, but we make it more often than not. But here’s the thing that I just don’t think Perry or those like him understand:

    I do not want our government pushing any kind of worship, even though we’re both Christian, even if it’s my religion. I don’t want our public school leading my daughter in prayer, even if it’s a Christian prayer, even if they brought in our own minister to lead the prayer. I don’t want a liberal American Baptist preacher or a liberal Episcopal minister (we’re Baptopalians) leading some liberal Baptist or Episcopal prayer in our child’s public school any more than I would want Pat Robertson leading some Pentacostal prayer or some fundamentalist Wahhabi imam leading some fundamentalist Muslim prayer.

    I guess this would be hard for Perry to fathom, that I could be secure enough in my own beliefs that I didn’t feel like I needed to cram it down everybody else’s throats. For all his bluster, he’s a pitiable and weak man who doesn’t even really have any confidence in what he so despreately believes. He’s scared to death of any dissent, since he fears his beliefs might be so flawed that they can’t withstand any dissent. Sad.

  37. 37.

    Roger Moore

    December 7, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    @jibeaux:

    Teagan Goddard (Political Wire) had a facebook post noting that this is the exact same jacket Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain.

    I wonder if this is supposed to say something about Perry’s sexuality.

  38. 38.

    trollhattan

    December 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Lovin’ the Romney-Gekko campaign so far.

    http://www.romneygekko.com/

    Also, too, teevee “ad.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mju_2nHep_s&feature=player_embedded

  39. 39.

    PurpleGirl

    December 7, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    @Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):

    Pitch perfect statement of support for the separation of church and state.

  40. 40.

    Rihilism

    December 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    @Shinobi: I just got it up to 5,614 dislikes (vs. 205 likes)…

  41. 41.

    Sasha

    December 7, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    John, you’re joking, right?

    One of the coupons that a GOP nominee needs to cash in to win is to demonstrate as much contempt, anger, and opposition towards anything Obama as possible. This is perfect “I hate that Kenyan-atheist-Muslim-socialist more than my rivals do, so vote for me” bait.

  42. 42.

    Rihilism

    December 7, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    @trollhattan: That ad is hysterical! Thanks for sharin’…

  43. 43.

    J

    December 7, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    “The Muppets are a guerrilla force in the gay liberation army’s war on Christmas (in the service of Islam)!” I’m not sure it will catch on among our wingnut brethren, but might be worth a try.

  44. 44.

    Shinobi

    December 7, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    @Rihilism: I DEMAND INFINITE DISLIKES!

  45. 45.

    Arclite

    December 7, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    My nine-year-old figured out there’s no Santa using logical deduction. She was told that some homeless people don’t get Christmas presents. So she decided that Santa would never exclude the homeless, therefore, he must not exist. What could I say?

  46. 46.

    Chuck Butcher

    December 7, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    I suppose it doesn’t dawn on a “Perry” that the US isn’t Texass and even Texas isn’t Texass, though the GOP doesn’t come far from being Texass. But it did seem to work with Texass seeing how as he’s Gov.

  47. 47.

    amk

    December 7, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    1:25 – like:dislike. Just like his poll nos.

    Fvcking asshole sounds exactly like shrub.

  48. 48.

    Rihilism

    December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    @Shinobi: Why do I suddenly feel like I’m Waylon Smithers?

    Or Scotty? “I keep tryin’, Cap’in, but the Internets, she just won’t take it”….

  49. 49.

    28 Percent

    December 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Only Republicans could think that Government is so incompetent that it should take over Religion.

  50. 50.

    Bago

    December 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    If you want to remix.
    http://gawker.com/5863804/the-old-persons-guide-to-skrillex

  51. 51.

    Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    December 7, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    I’ve wondered for a while what it is about Perry that makes me want to beat him to death with an iron rod. It’s weird; I mean, I pretty much hate the whole Republican field, but there’s something worse about Perry somehow. Not something worse politically, maybe; they all have about the same awfulness. But Bachmann, Gingrich, Cain, Paul, Romney, all these losers are soulless and depraved and nuts; but there’s some pall of visceral vileness that hangs around Rick Perry.

    When it comes to this inborn capacity to make everyone he meets recoil, the only one who comes anywhere near Perry is Santorum, but it’s easy to see why he’s so creepy and repulsive. What is it about Perry? How did these two incubi ever get as far as they did in politics? I mean, there’s a lot of being around people involved in politics. How could such hateful people make it? I guess part of Perry’s answer is that he ran in Texas, where being a soulless cockbag can really help, but how did Santorum win twice statewide in Pennsylvania, when he’s a less appealing guy than your average serial killer (who at least knows how to charm people)?

  52. 52.

    grumpy realist

    December 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    @Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.): I figger that people who have loud mouths, big egos, and no competence whatsoever end up in politics. After all, what else are they going to do? If you’ve got any smarts whatsoever, it’s easier to gain power and $ in publicly held companies (plus you don’t have to worry about getting defenestered by the rabble; stockholders of public companies are notorious for not doing anything).

    After all, look at Newt. Failed professor (didn’t get tenure), mediocre author, has nothing going for him except adultery and being a big blowhard. Where else would be possibly end up except as a Republican presidential candidate?

  53. 53.

    Mike G

    December 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    He looks like a model in a KMart newspaper circular.

  54. 54.

    kdaug

    December 7, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    Has been in my house. ‘Course, I don’t celebrate Christmas, and I don’t generally let kids in.

  55. 55.

    Brian R.

    December 7, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    @Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):

    I guess this would be hard for Perry to fathom, that I could be secure enough in my own beliefs that I didn’t feel like I needed to cram it down everybody else’s throats.

    That’s really the essence of it all, isn’t it?

    Nothing is impinging on their religious freedom. Nothing at all. They can worship whenever and wherever they want. They can even pray in public school, for all the lying they do about that. They just can’t have the public school formally lead the prayer. But no one’s stopping them.

    So yeah, they have religious freedom. What they’re upset about is that other people have the freedom to ignore that religion. And that drives them crazy.

  56. 56.

    Mnemosyne

    December 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    @Brian R.:

    They need outside assurance that they chose the “right” religion and everyone else is wrong. That’s why they get all worked up about the clerks at Wal-Mart not saying “Merry Christmas” to them — if they don’t get reassured at each and every juncture that they’re right and everyone else is wrong, they melt down.

  57. 57.

    Brian R.

    December 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    @28 Percent:

    Only Republicans could think that Government is so incompetent that it should take over Religion.

    Lord, that is perfect. I want that on a bumper sticker.

  58. 58.

    Brian R.

    December 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    Heh. 423 likes, 13,661 dislikes.

  59. 59.

    smintheus

    December 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    @Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dönitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.):

    there’s some pall of visceral vileness that hangs around Rick Perry.

    Have you seen Burt Lancaster’s performance in Elmer Gantry? Dead ringer.

  60. 60.

    patrick the pedantic literalist (formerly patrick II)

    December 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    @Arclite:

    You could tell her they are bad people who don’t deserve presents.

  61. 61.

    JGabriel

    December 7, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    John Cole @ Top:

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    I’ve heard there were a few kids whose Jewish parents oppressed them into celebrating Hanukah instead. But they probably don’t support Israel either.

    .

  62. 62.

    Argive

    December 7, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    1,655 likes, 69,128 dislikes.

    YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

  63. 63.

    Argive

    December 7, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    HOLY SHIT 2,231 likes, 93,476 dislikes

    I love this country.

  64. 64.

    Zak

    December 7, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    You know what? F-k you, Rick Perry. F-k you Jerry-Sandusky-hard-and-long. I’m an unbeliever now, but I was raised Jewish, and am old enough to have been in grade school when classes could begin with New Testament Bible readings and when, as Christmas approached, we would all be assembled to sing songs in praise of Baby Jesus. To put it bluntly, we were coerced. As a member of the Oppressed Christian Majority, you couldn’t be expected to know how that felt, but trust me—you would definitely have felt like an unwelcome guest at someone else’s party. The birthday of your imaginary friend is our only legal religious holiday. Isn’t that enough government sanction to celebrate Christmas? FCS, what else do you people want?

  65. 65.

    Thatgaljill

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 am

    @FlipYrWhig:

    This year “Winter Sing” at my son’s school has the theme of UNITY and the first grade will perform “In the Jungle”

    Now, I’m not clear on how that says Winter or Unity, but I recognize I live in Satan’s Sandbox (aka The Silicon Valley) and my son’s school is very diverse in terms of culture and religion, so I will enjoy the performance nonetheless.

    The thing that chafes me about the Christian Right (and the Republican party, I suppose) is the complete void of curiosity and actual religious scholarship. But then again, I grew up an Episcopalian and we have openly gay bishops… oh yeah, I forgot, being intellectual and educated is elitist. But being homophobic and ignorant (and yes I realize that’s redundant) isn’t.
    SHEESH!

  66. 66.

    Thatgaljill

    December 8, 2011 at 12:32 am

    @Brian R.:

    I can put that on a bumper sticker for ya…

  67. 67.

    Robbie Taylor

    December 8, 2011 at 6:15 am

    BTW- Has there actually been one instance of kids not being able to “openly celebrate Christmas?”

    Of course! In virtually EVERY school in this country, they don’t even let Christian kids in the BUILDING on Christmas Day!

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