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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / A Response to Rick Perry

A Response to Rick Perry

by John Cole|  December 8, 20114:08 pm| 75 Comments

This post is in: Election 2012, Excellent Links, Humorous

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75Comments

  1. 1.

    Soonergrunt

    December 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    “Rick Perry may believe in God, but I’ve seen his polls. Clearly God does not believe in Rick Perry.”
    LOL

  2. 2.

    Rihilism

    December 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    That was frickin’ awesome!

  3. 3.

    KG

    December 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    leave the governing to sodomites and heathens

    I think I have my campaign slogan.

  4. 4.

    Cris (without an H)

    December 8, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    o hey browns are playing tonight

  5. 5.

    Calming Influence

    December 8, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    That really helped lighten up a pretty crappy day. Merci.

  6. 6.

    dmsilev

    December 8, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    TPM has a hilarious article comparing the Perry ad to various Justin Beiber videos, using “number of YouTube dislikes” as a metric.

  7. 7.

    cathyx

    December 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    That guy doesn’t look like he should have that voice.

  8. 8.

    carpeduum

    December 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    lol…..funny stuff. Why can’t these people get their own HBO weekly show instead of not so funny pretentious aholes like Bill Maher.

  9. 9.

    Tony J

    December 8, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    @cathyx:

    Musical theatre and godless sodomy = Resonant vocal chords.

  10. 10.

    Cris (without an H)

    December 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    “god fearing vagina penetrators” ftw

  11. 11.

    RosiesDad

    December 8, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Fabulous. And we needed and perhaps even deserved the laugh.

  12. 12.

    MikeJ

    December 8, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    @dmsilev: The stats on the dislikes leave out one thing: yes, “One Less Lonely Girl” may have 118,000 dislikes, but it 217,000 likes. Rick Perry? 181,017 dislikes, 3,910 likes.

    Bieber runs 2-1 in favor. Perry is almost 60-1 against.

  13. 13.

    dmsilev

    December 8, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    @Soonergrunt:

    “Rick Perry may believe in God, but I’ve seen his polls. Clearly God does not believe in Rick Perry.”

    Objection! It’s entirely possible that God (a) believes in Rick Perry but (b) believes in humiliating Rick Perry. See: Santorum, Rick.

  14. 14.

    kindness

    December 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    Funny.

  15. 15.

    gaz

    December 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    I thought the original was funnier.

    Rick Perry 2012 – Parody Is Obsolete.

  16. 16.

    Hill Dweller

    December 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    OT: With the exception of the Maddow and Chris Hayes shows, I avoid cable TV like the plague. However, today I wanted to keep up with the VT shooting, and tuned into MSNBC, which was airing Dylan Ratigan’s show. I know of Ratigan, but have literally never seen his show. So I was surprised to see he not only had Sen. Coburn on, but introduced him as a friend of the show. Is this normal for him?

  17. 17.

    BGinCHI

    December 8, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Is there something about a barn coat that turns anyone who wears it into an asshole?

    ETA: I don’t mean this dude but Perry, Romney, Scott Brown…

  18. 18.

    dr. bloor

    December 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    He shoots, HE SCORES!

  19. 19.

    MonkeyBoy

    December 8, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    With now 5,022 likes and 237,660 dislikes, Perry has beaten LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE to be the 3rd most disliked video on YouTube.

    #1&2 are Rebecca Black and a Justin Beiber which are up in the millions.

  20. 20.

    cmorenc

    December 8, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    The difference between Justin Bieber and Rick Perry is that Bieber is merely a handsome young man who’s found a way to leverage being a harmless twit into becoming a well-paid celebrity, whereas Rick Perry is an handsome adult man who’s found a way to leverage being a sociopathic grifter into becoming a malevolent power-tripping jackass.

  21. 21.

    BGinCHI

    December 8, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    OT: Santorum finally going to come out of the closet:

    Rick Santorum will make a major announcement in Des Moines Friday at 6pm, his campaign announced Thursday. That will be followed by an appearance on Hannity on Fox News.

    http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/updates/2590

  22. 22.

    sukabi

    December 8, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    @BGinCHI: LOL, and that’s how all his press should lead off…

  23. 23.

    gaz

    December 8, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    @MonkeyBoy: thanks for teh lulz

  24. 24.

    j low

    December 8, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=F-eqpJYGtvk#!

  25. 25.

    Citizen Alan

    December 8, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    @cmorenc:

    I don’t know if I’d call Rick Perry handsome. Then again, I gather there is actually a market for gay DILF porn so perhaps by that standard….

  26. 26.

    gocart mozart

    December 8, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    “God fearing vagina penetrators”

    What about God fearing, meth smoking, rentboy customers? Are they not people too?

  27. 27.

    Mark S.

    December 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    After the wild success of Conservapedia, which gets more traffic than Wikipedia*, there is certainly a market for a Conservatube, where closeted God Fearing Americans like Rick Perry can post their videos without mockery from homosexuals and heathens. Please email me if you are interested in getting in on this exciting investment.**

    *That statement may or may not be true.

    **Special discount rate for Balloon Juice commenters! Just $10,000 gets you a cruise kayaking trip with Jonah Goldberg!

  28. 28.

    McConnor

    December 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    Will I go to hell for loving the lowbrow humor in this (Rick Perry is an Ass)?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=F-eqpJYGtvk

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    December 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    @BGinCHI: My guess is that he’s going to sidestep the whole “Google problem” thing by changing his name.

  30. 30.

    gocart mozart

    December 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    On a related note . . .
    http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/rick-perry-attacks-gays-but-is-so-fabulous/6lv5ii1

  31. 31.

    jl

    December 8, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Rick Perry should try out the godless infidel’s accent, sounds more presidential.

    GW Bush ruined the reputation of Texas accents in presidentin’ and other serious national leaderin’ spheres. That is unfortunate The accent will recover, for time heals all wounds (even if only in the grave) and all that. But it is too soon.

  32. 32.

    lamh35

    December 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I’m gonna post this again cause I just kind loving seeing it and I’m not usually big on this type of rhetoric, but I glad to see POTUS pushing back at Romney and the GOP

    Ask Bin Laden

    Q Thank you, Mr. President. It’s a very busy time. If I may, I’d like to ask you about two other important issues in the news. Republican candidates have taken aim at your approach to foreign policy, particularly the Middle East and Israel, and accused you of appeasement. I wanted to get your reaction to that…

    THE PRESIDENT: Ask Osama bin Laden and the 22-out-of-30 top al Qaeda leaders who’ve been taken off the field whether I engage in appeasement. Or whoever is left out there, ask them about that…

  33. 33.

    Blue Shark

    December 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    +1

  34. 34.

    Tonybrown74

    December 8, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    @Citizen Alan:

    I don’t know if I’d call Rick Perry handsome. Then again, I gather there is actually a market for gay DILF porn so perhaps by that standard….

    Ugh!

    I wouldn’t even sit on his face!

  35. 35.

    Caz

    December 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    You can stop dreaming – Perry isn’t going to be the nominee. You might as well start bashing Newt exclusively because he’s gonna get the nod, and he can beat Obama, even with Obama’s locked in supporters, e.g. unions, academia, minorities, etc.

    Americans want this country to prosper, not go bankrupt and have the govt take over every sector of the economy and our personal lives.

    Why you would support the party that will result in your loss of freedom and will cause the country to go bankrupt is beyond me. I guess some people are just to ignorant and brainwashed to know any better. Sad.

  36. 36.

    hamletta

    December 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    @Citizen Alan: I’d hit it.

  37. 37.

    gaz

    December 8, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    Hasn’t a better troll AI been developed for wordpress yet?

    This latest batch isn’t even worth it…

  38. 38.

    dmsilev

    December 8, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    “9 out of 10 Internet trolls support Not-Romney! Not-Romney 2012!”

  39. 39.

    Tone in DC

    December 8, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    @cmorenc:
    LULZ.

  40. 40.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    December 8, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    @Caz: your post is so packed with delicious irony I don’t know were to begin!

    Come on my little wingnut; tells us how The Newt will lead this country to fiscal responsibility. I double dog dare you to!

  41. 41.

    cathyx

    December 8, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: He’s just joking. I mean, really.

  42. 42.

    SensesFail

    December 8, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    @Caz:

    I guess some people are just to ignorant and brainwashed to know any better. Sad.

    For your sake, I hope you are just trolling.

  43. 43.

    dead existentialist

    December 8, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    @SensesFail: More like drooling.

  44. 44.

    greg

    December 8, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    @Caz: It’s just sooooo easy to bash all of them, why should we restrict ourselves to just the likely nominee? Easy enough to concentrate on whichever moron that will be once your side finally holds its nose and decides.

  45. 45.

    Redshift

    December 8, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: And how Democrats will supposedly cause the country to go bankrupt, despite the fact that after the crash that resulted from eight years of Republican rule, Republicans are talking nonstop about how we are “bankrupt.”

    Better trolls, please!

  46. 46.

    Jennifer

    December 8, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Hey, if Newt had only stayed in Congress, he could have retired the deficit from the fines he would have had levied against him for legal and ethical violations. As president, I don’t know if the Congress will have the power to fine him, but if so, Caz might have a point other than the one on top of his head.

  47. 47.

    Redshift

    December 8, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    @Mark S.:

    Just $10,000 gets you a cruise kayaking trip with Jonah Goldberg!

    Alone with Jonah Goldberg? If you can keep my name out of it and make it on a river where “accidents” have been known to occur, you may have a deal…

  48. 48.

    Hungry Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    @Caz:

    Why you would support the party that will result in your loss of freedom and will cause the country to go bankrupt is beyond me.

    It’s hard to explain. We just want to lose our freedom, and we want the country to go bankrupt. For no reason, really. I guess we’re just stupid.

  49. 49.

    Jennifer

    December 8, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    @Redshift: Heh. Might I suggest the river from Deliverance?

    “Make ‘im squeal like a pig, Eustus!”

  50. 50.

    Jennifer

    December 8, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    @Caz:

    I guess some people are just to ignorant and brainwashed to know any better. Sad.

    Indeed.

  51. 51.

    Citizen_X

    December 8, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    You might as well start bashing Newt exclusively because he’s gonna get the nod

    Oh please oh please oh please oh please!

  52. 52.

    JCT

    December 8, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    @Caz: Newt can’t even beat his own dick at this point. Sheesh.

  53. 53.

    Jebediah

    December 8, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    OT but I see no current open thread and am an impatient jerk:
    my job just gave me a kindle for a holiday present. First thing I did was subscribe to some odd, vitriolic blog called “balloon juice” or some such. Am I doing something wrong or do I not get to see comments on a Kindle? (it’s my first world problem for the day)
    Also – aren’t there some commenters with books one can buy for the kindle?

  54. 54.

    Janus Daniels

    December 8, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    FTR – the Bible defines the sin of Sodom once and once only. Ezekiel 16:49
    “Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.”
    Read the Bible to promote progressive politics.
    And atheism.

  55. 55.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 8, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    @Caz:

    I guess some people are just to ignorant and brainwashed to know any better. Sad.

    Break’s over, dumbass. Get back into the projection booth and take care of reel 2.

  56. 56.

    Hill Dweller

    December 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    Trump’s “debate” will have just two participants(Gingrich and Santorum).

  57. 57.

    Dee Loralei

    December 8, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    @Hill Dweller: Just saw on twitter, sorry can’t remember who said it, “this proves that when dicks pull out of an assholes debate, all you have left is ‘santorum’.”

    I LOLed and retweeted.

  58. 58.

    Rihilism

    December 8, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    @Citizen Alan: If he were to show up in my DILF porn, I’d be forced to choose heterosexuality….

  59. 59.

    dmsilev

    December 8, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    @Hill Dweller: And I’ll bet that even with only one other participant, Santorum *still* won’t get much air time.

  60. 60.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    December 8, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    Was listening to someone on (I think) Hardball tonight and they were repeating the stuff about Callista not allowing Newtie to be gone more than one overnight stay. They said that it was killing the campaign. You have to admire her in that respect, she knows he can’t keep it in his pants, and she has no intention of becoming the next ex Mrs Gingrich.

  61. 61.

    cathyx

    December 8, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Doesn’t she think he can do it in one night?

  62. 62.

    piratedan

    December 8, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    per Caz:

    Why you would support the party that will result in your loss of freedom and will cause the country to go bankrupt is beyond me.

    gotta be DougJ trolling us right? that much projection in one statement, I had to get my 3D glasses just to make sure…..

  63. 63.

    Joel

    December 8, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    If Dwight Howard joins the Lakers, this year or next, I’m swearing off the NBA. Forever.

  64. 64.

    JCT

    December 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Now, now — maybe we shouldn’t all be so cynical. Maybe she can’t bear to be away from her sweetness for more than one night.

    /snark

    Gee, Callista, what the fuck did you THINK you were buying into when you were helping him cheat on his last wife. “Traditional” marriages and morals, step right up.

  65. 65.

    Suffern ACE

    December 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    @Litlebritdifrnt: How can that be killing the campaign when he’s currently leading? It might actually help. If he stays in one place too long, people might get to know him, an the more someone gets to know him, the less they’ll like him. He should spend as much time as possible on planes away from microphones.

  66. 66.

    Warren Terra

    December 8, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    @cathyx:
    She probably doesn’t mind him cheating, but fears him forming a lasting emotional attachment.

  67. 67.

    Modulo Myself

    December 8, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Perry’s jacket is identical to the one Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain, which is awesome.

  68. 68.

    Brandon

    December 8, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    @gaz: My impression is that his purpose is less troll and more rodeo clown. Got a thread with some good momentum about some stupid conservative person, organization, idea or all of the above? Now everyone is focussed on the clown who not so incidentally is hiding in a barrel. It doesn’t help that people are so easily distracted by the shiny and don’t know better than to ignore it. If some folks here were bass, they’d be getting their picture taken with a redneck right now.

  69. 69.

    MikeBoyScout

    December 8, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    I thank Jeebus for the internets and youtubes.

  70. 70.

    ilsita

    December 8, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    @Hungry Joe:

    For the sake of diversity, I’d like to point out that I’m not stupid; I’m delusional. I want to turn the US into a 3rd would country, so my kids can really learn to appreciate the value of a dollar.

  71. 71.

    Richard

    December 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    Perry’s youtube ad was one of the most vile things that I have ever seen.

    I’m surprised he didn’t come out in favor of putting gays in internment camps to please the evangelicals.

  72. 72.

    Cluttered Mind

    December 8, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    @Warren Terra: What she really fears is his excessive patriotism. We all know what that has driven him to do in the past!

  73. 73.

    RalfW

    December 9, 2011 at 12:54 am

    Perry’s vid is up to 335,000 dislikes, 8K likes. Pretty cool referendum on his assholishnes.

  74. 74.

    gaz

    December 9, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    @Brandon: Well, props to Caz then I suppose for keeping the thread going.

    After all, there’s only so much we can say about Rick Perry’s mind-blisteringly stupid campaign. heh

  75. 75.

    fordpowers

    December 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Also.
    The jacket he wore in this ad is the same jacket that heath ledger wore in broke back mountain.

    just sayin.

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