Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Bark louder, little dog.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

This blog will pay for itself.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / And the award for the best use of the term “piehole” goes to…

And the award for the best use of the term “piehole” goes to…

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I’ve been catching up on the day’s threads. It’s been a fine, fine day of snark and nastiness from you all.

I wouldn’t normally play favorites, but pour encourager les proles and all that… I’ll just note that I had to have a cigarette and a bit of a lie down after this comment from Feebog in Anne Laurie’s thread, in response to Erick Son of Erick’s lament that their enablers have not yet convinced the meeja to buff the knobs of the Republicant candidates to an appropriately sticky and happy ending:

What a wet load of dog crap. Look Ewick, your candidates all suck. You can take off the big red rubber noses, the funny yellow shoes and the makeup and they are still clowns. Blaming the failure of this group of morons on their consultants and handlers is lame.

Did Perry’s consultants coach him to debate like a seven year old who forgot his lines in the Christmas pageant? No, I think he did that all by his self. Did Cain’s managers turn him into a serial sexual harasser and adulterer? Anybody on Bachmann’s staff suggest to her that she say something completely stupid and insane everytime she opened her pie hole?

As for Newt and the Romneybot, they have both have more baggage than a 747 the day before Thanksgiving. As a campaign manager or consultant you can hope the voters have short memories, but when the gaffes just keep on coming, what’s a Mother to do? Nobody told Newt to describe Paul Ryans plan to gut medicare Rightwing Social Engineering. Given, someone may have advised to walk it back the very next day, but I doubt they told Newt to twist himself into a pretzel while doing so. And no one told Romney to go on Fox and completely blow an interview. In the end, Romney made that decision himself. But at least now we know why his handlers have kept him away from reporters like a leper.

No Ewick, the sad bunch you have as the Republican field is the direct result of the likes of you and your rabid rightwing rednecks. You have moved all of these candidates so far to the right that they are cartoon cutouts rather than viable candidates. And for that we thank you.

Reader Interactions

99Comments

  1. 1.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    Don’t be silly. It’s always the fault of Obama, the librul media and teh gayz.

  4. 4.

    Roger Moore

    The ultimate problem is with the base itself. The reason the candidates are a bunch of clowns is because there’s a large part of the base that has made it clear that they aren’t interested in anyone remotely serious. Anyone who actually cares about government has been intimidated into either staying out of the race or slapping on the makeup and funny shoes in the hopes of convincing the rubes that they’re as crazy as the rest of the gang. You can’t hang up a sign saying “everyone must be at least this crazy to run” and then complain about the lack of reality based candidates.

  7. 7.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Roger Moore:

    You can’t hang up a sign saying “everyone must be at least this crazy to run” and then complain about the lack of reality based candidates.

    Sure, you can. You shouldn’t be able to do it, but you can.

  8. 8.

    Cat Lady

    Light is dawning over Marblehead that they’re all being pointed to and laughed at, Bobo notwithstanding. It’s pathetic that this great nation has come to this, but while the teatardness burns itself out, it’s fun to watch.

  11. 11.

    B W Smith

    Dear Lord, that was good. Kudos to Feebog. If Erick is the kind of man I think he is, he will find that take down while doing his nightly internet search for his name.

  12. 12.

    maven

    British mum told godson to Shut his Gob. Aussie mate then told Canuk hubby to clap his trap.

    “Your shout-mate”

    god bless us; everyone.

  22. 22.

    Dick Dastardly

    I just don’t get this obsession people have that the GOP candidates have to have a certain level of smarts or they’re no good. After all, George W Bush proved conclusively that while you don’t have to be engaged with the day-to-day running of the country or know much about any of the various important domestic and foreign issues you can still have a very successful presidency.

  36. 36.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @piratedan: Christ, that sucks. Beautiful song; it’s been years since I heard it. I know that doesn’t help, but I don’t know that anything will. My best thoughts and hopes for all of you.

  37. 37.

    piratedan

    oops, sorry about that post folks, was grievously OT. The VSP created this monster with all of their false equivalency bullshit regarding the gutting of social programs being necessary to protect our freedoms et al and how much worse it is for a welfare cheat to abscond with THOUSANDS of dollars while turning a blind eye to the military boondoggles of ordering and paying for planes that are obsolete before they can even be brought into service with specialized 3,0000 dollar hammers that need to be ordered in the bulk of millions.

  40. 40.

    piratedan

    @Omnes Omnibus: np OO, always enjoy discussing music here and it helps in the healing, Mom’s passing was just three weeks ago and I have been reluctant to even allow myself to grieve knowing what was coming up. Still, there’s a good team of care providers around and I’m working with my stepbrother to make this as easy and comforting as possible, still sucks no matter the situation, to watch folks go through the process. It’s never easy to lose someone that you care about regardless of the circumstances

  43. 43.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    Fucking UofM Parking Services. They run a bunch of ramps that are open 24 hours a day, and (it turns out) at least one that isn’t. Said garage, in the midst of all of the others, locks up at 9pm and you can’t get to your car. However, if you drive up to it at 8:15pm, there are two bright neon signs saying “Space Available”, and one of the several other signs at the entrance says that you can’t actually park there for long enough to actually do anything if you arrive at that time. So I had to take a cab home and I’ll likely have to take another one back down there tomorrow to get my car.

    Fuckers. I ran parking ramps in downtown Minneapolis for seven years. I can tell you something about that sort of signage: it’s absolutely guaranteed that people are going to miss it. I yelled at whoever answered the phone, and I know that I’m not the first person to do so. The only two reasons that you could leave something that important to the people pulling into your garage that inobvious are 1) you don’t give a shit about pissing people off, or 2) you are deliberately trying to confuse them.

    There is only a very small number of things that you can make sure that people will see as they pull into your ramp. No more than two things besides your pricing structure, and that includes the space available sign. If you put up a sign for everything, it’s exactly the same as putting up a sign for nothing. If you are going to close your ramp such that your customers can’t get to their vehicles, that absolutely has to be the most prominent thing in your signage.

    Fuckers.

  48. 48.

    Yutsano

    @piratedan: Whereabouts are you? Odds are MikeJ and I can booze you up if you’re up for the company. Consider it the taking care of yourself portion of this process.

  53. 53.

    piratedan

    @Yutsano: I’m about 15 miles south of Hood River Or, and I may very well sign up for that once we get past that last hurdle. I’ll be staying to help arrange stuff like estate sales, home cleanup and financial account closures and the like and an evening imbibing would be welcome :-).

  61. 61.

    MikeJ

    @AxelFoley: Which is why Bill Murray suggests it with Wudy the wabbit the winner in meatballs.

    Did somebody say something about drinks? I felt a disturbance in the force when my name was mentioned with booze.

  65. 65.

    feebog

    Thanks Sarah for the rec. Been out tonight with the Kool Kids for a hot game of dominos. Now the dog is demanding his five minutes of attention before bed time. I do go to Red State from time to time and used to post Red State updates on DK, but that quickly grew tiresome. I will leave you with this interesting stat. Since WWII Republican presidents, on average, have seen one million jobs a year created under their watch. Democratic Presidents, 1.76 million per year. Yet the villagers keep flogging the meme that only Republicans create job. These stats were from a 2009 article from the WSJ, so its no like they don’t know.

  66. 66.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @MikeJ: Shut up and drink.

    @Little Boots: I have some related to it. They will cause dreams of guillotines. I also have lurid stories of decadence. This is not the forum though – people might be compromised. A Madison meet-up might be reasonable.

  72. 72.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @piratedan: I will … no, fuck it, this sucks ass…. No credit for your situation on this one (unless you provide personal experience shit to support it).

  74. 74.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Little Boots: My issue with the stories is these specific stories might personally identify the Soon-to-be-ex-Mme Omnibus. I won’t do that to her without her consent. Okay?

  77. 77.

    piratedan

    well I am mostly a beer man…. currently clocking in just about 4 bills, suffer from high blood pressure and as such, have cut back on my social drinking. As such, I can only be counted on for a good five to six hours of drinking before I start to fade (and that’s with appetizers to help with the digestion process). I like the good stuff, but I am an ale and lager guy, none of those porters or stouts for me (I prefer to chew my food, not my beer)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL9O0B0gzZE

  81. 81.

    Yutsano

    @MikeJ: Yep. My fault. As usual. :)

    @piratedan: I’m mostly vino. And I’m not on a medication I was for the BJ meet-up, so I shouldn’t end up stoned out of my gourd after two glasses this time.

    CaseyL. Also. Too. I’ll arrange a kidnapping. This could get epic.

  84. 84.

    Origuy

    New word today: Apparently Scotland got hit with 165mph winds the other day. The Scots have named the storm Hurricane Bawbag. Bawbag is Scots for scrotum; it also means an annoying or obnoxious person.

    Its application to the GOP candidates I leave to your imagination.

  87. 87.

    Suffern ACE

    @amk: I know I’m supposed to not like anything Cameron does, and not to question the wise leadership of Sarkozy or Markel, who have demonstration nothing but the stern big daddy guidance the world has so sorely lacked during this “crisis”, but I’m not certain if I disagree with Cameron on this. What part of this treaty revision would actually solve the problem?

  88. 88.

    Suffern ACE

    @amk: I mean, it would appear that if Europe wants to go through with this, it would be better to just ram toothpicks in your eyes, whether there was a transaction tax or not.

  90. 90.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @PeakVT: These are not mutually exclusive reasons. While he is certainly protecting The City, the deep British suspicion about handing over more power to Brussels is about five decades old now. In other words, since the British joined the EU in the first place.

  91. 91.

    pluege

    you miss the point. Its the failure to conceal that has conservatives upset, not the nature of what they need to conceal. Since conservatives are all about lying to the electorate, you can see where the conservatii would be upset and blame consultants and handlers, not at the buffoon, clown nature of the republican candidates (after all they all worship at the big clown shoes of chief buffoon Bonzo reagan, i.e., being a clown is a republican feature, not a bug), but at the FAILURE TO CONCEAL the TRUE NATURE of the republican candidates to the American people. To conservatives/republicans its all about the deception.

  92. 92.

    Snowball

    @PeakVT:

    I’m not disagreeing with you.

    The financial sector is the UK’s largest industry and I read somewhere that about half of the world interest rate transactions are made in London, compared with only 10 percent in Germany and France combined.

    Cameron was right to reject it. Germany/France might as well have proposed common EU excise duties on cricket equipment to finance the Italian budget deficit. It would have been equally absurd.

  94. 94.

    schrodinger's cat

    I don’t see how this deal helps the faltering countries, what they need is devaluation of the euro, right now.

  95. 95.

    Suffern ACE

    @PeakVT:

    but he’s keeping the UK out primarily to protect the UK version of Wall Street

    Sarkozy may be acting in the best interests of the French version of Wall Street. Lets look at this:

    The prime minister refused to back the call for a new treaty because he wanted safeguards for the City. He wanted the right to impose higher capital ratios on banks than the 9% target sought for the eurozone, to keep the European Banking Authority in London, and, above all, to kill off proposals that euro-nominated financial transactions might only be allowed in eurozone markets. The City currently handles at least half of all such transactions, generating billions of pounds of profit.

    While sure, he’s protecting jobs at a regulatory agency from moving to Paris and billions of dollars of profits now made at his banks from moving to banks in Paris or Frankfurt. Why are SocGen or PNB Paribas superior to Barclays in that matter. This is kind of like saying “Gee. I hate Wall Street. It’s too powerful. Better that the world be dominated by Banks in Tokyo or Toronto instead of the ones in New York.”

  99. 99.

    dance around in your bones

    @piratedan:

    Once again I was not around in ‘realtime’ for your comment, but I just want to say hang in there; and that anyone who loves Holly and the Italians is A-OK in my book.

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