Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Days Since JD Vance Insulted Women Across America: Zero

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Russia bombs Ukraine’s maternity hospitals; Republicans in the House can’t sort out supporting Ukraine.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

There is one struggling party in US right now, and it’s not the Democrats.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / For Your Satanic Majesties

For Your Satanic Majesties

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So much for a calm night, the late night happened here anyway. I remained sober, but most everyone else did not. Tunch spent the night out doors, and he has crap all over him (including all in his coat, in his eyes, etc.), but you all love the Tunch pics, so here you go:

He was sound asleep on his bed (the guest bed) and was giving me his “WTF?” look.

Reader Interactions

42Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    How did you escape the might Paw of Doom?

    Oh and TUUUUUUNCH!! The proper authorities shall be alerted.

  3. 3.

    asiangrrlMN

    *deep breath* TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCHIE! Squee! I love love love love LOVE that cat, Cole! You better watch out. If I’m ever in WVA, I’mma kittehnapping him!

    @Yutsano: Mwah! Thanks, hon. You made my night.

    @AxelFoley: Indeed! WTF have you been, AxelF?!?

  4. 4.

    phoebes-in-santa fe

    That cat looks a little thinner in the picture. Is he or is it the camera perspective?

  5. 5.

    Anne Laurie

    The moon, she is full. I thought the ‘lunatic’ derivation was all, well, moonshine, until I started attending dog-training classes on a weekly, non-lunar schedule. Full moons make certified well-mannered dogs flaky, flaky dogs nutso. They can also turn normally somnolent house-cats into wild’n’crazy escapees…

    Glad Tunch is indoors, for your sake as much as his. You can tell from his eyes that He Regrets NOTHING, Monkeyboy!

  6. 6.

    Punchy

    My greys would chase that arrogant, smug ball of fuzz from here to the Mexician border. At which point Cain would electrify ’em or Perry would offer them all in-state animal shelter tuition.

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    It’s good to know that constant, incessant nagging and begging and pleading does occasionally pay off. Thanks for the positive reinforcement, John. Because TUUUUUUUNCH!

  10. 10.

    Josie

    What a great picture. I don’t see the crap, though. It must be a tiny speck of dirt that only you can see. He looks just fine to me.

  11. 11.

    Neil

    My parrot, Maxine, died Friday night at around 10 PM.

    She lived a fairly long life, about 30 years. Her early days were traumatic and haunted her for the rest of her life. She was smuggled illegally over the border, overdosed with tetracycline. She was fortunately rescued by customs, and ended up through a series of rescuers with my Aunt who gave her to me sometime around my 14th or 15th birthday. Maxine never picked up any words, but she’d occasionally mimic noises like dog barks and baby cries. She was also a mean wolf whistler (which flattered some and offended others). She never flew in all the years I owned her although we never bothered to clip her wings. She’d just make a distinctive squawk to let me know I needed to move her from one perch to another. She particularly liked being in front of the bay window to look out side (she was less fond of actually being outside). She didn’t let anyone touch her except my Aunt, but she would let a few select members of the family chauffeur her from perch to perch.

    Friday night my wife came downstairs frantic. Maxine wasn’t moving. She was on the top of her cage, leaning forward breathing quickly. We tried what we could to revive her. The vet suggested we give her some maple syrup or some crushed up tums in water. It was all in vein. Maxine lingered for about 10 minutes in my hand with me talking to her in bird and human. The end came quickly, she opened her eyes one last time, let out a little squawk, stretched her wings as if to fly away, and then was still.

    I buried her that night. The moon was nearly full that night; the air still. The snow seemed to crunch particularly loudly as I made my way to the shed. It took a while to get through the thick layer of frost… it was cathartic. Wearing myself out through physical exertion is how I cry. I paused a moment before burying her. It had all happened so quick. Thinking back, it’s hard to remember a time when she wasn’t around. She’s been my friend, my companion for so long… and now she’s gone.

    Rest in peace, Maxine.

  13. 13.

    JPL

    Tunch doesn’t look happy! Hopefully the clan is fast asleep in the Cole household by now.
    Since the Palestinians are invented people according to Newt’s theory, aren’t we all? I’m confused.

  17. 17.

    Violet

    @Neil:
    Aww…I’m so sorry about Maxine. That was a great story and tribute to her.

    Great photo of Tunch. He looks like he just woke up. Not his usual scary, imperious self.

  18. 18.

    gelfling545

    @Neil:

    stretched her wings as if to fly away,

    And, maybe, she finally flew. I wish you comfort at the loss of your friend. Look forward to the day when memories of her bring only joy.

  19. 19.

    mai naem

    Did Tunch get drunk too?

    Neil – I always wanted a parrot because they are supposed to live so long. RIP Maxine. Sounds like you gave her a good life.

  21. 21.

    Cat Lady

    @Neil:

    My parrot Nelson was a total PITA – talked all.the.time. and screamed if he heard talking but it wasn’t talking directed at him. I had to talk on the phone in another room with the door closed. He walked on the floor with that funny ding toed parrot gait and terrorized the dog with that parrot head faking thing they do, and of course the talking thing just freaked the dog right out. I’d be in the other room listening to the parrot asking the dog “whatcha doin’, huh? whatcha doin’, huh? hahahahaha [wolf whistle]”, laughing so hard I would wet my pants, and if Nelson heard me laughing he’d fly to me, sit on my shoulder and laugh with me too, then try to pull my earrings out of my ear or climb onto my head. What crazy amazing animals they are. When Nelson got sick with a cold, then died, my life went back to being normal, but way more drab. It took a long time before I could answer the phone without hearing in my head “Hello? Hello? Pretty bird! Pretty bird!”

    RIP Maxine. Nelson’s got some stories for you.

  26. 26.

    schrodinger's cat

    Finally the long wait is over. Return of the Tunch! His Royal Highness doesn’t look all that dirty. What an adorable kitteh.
    @Neil: So sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing the story with us.

  28. 28.

    Mnemosyne

    I’m not a big bird fan, but they had an amazing African Grey parrot at a pet store I used to go to in Westwood (CA) named Kenya. They had rescue animals there (cats and dogs) and she would work the puppies into a frenzy by perching on their cage and meowing at them. She also learned to imitate the sound of the phone, so she would amuse herself by making the ringing sound and watching the employees run to answer it. She had free range of the whole store.

    There was a big sign near her cage saying something like, “No, this parrot is NOT for sale. Ever.”

  30. 30.

    Neil

    Thanks all for the love and condolences. It really means a lot.

    @Cat Lady:
    Maxine tended to be like that at times too, not to the same extreme though. If we had people over, they needed to come say hello to her before she would let us have a conversation. If we tried, she’d squawk obnoxiously until everyone came over and said hello. Dogs like people, cats think they’re people. Birds want equal rights.

  32. 32.

    Montysano

    @Neil: Sorry for your loss, but what a wonderful remembrance!

    And Tuuuuuunch!

    I’ve always been a dog person (grew up in rural Indiana, where we raised registered beagles), but our latest cat (a rescue, picked out by our daughter) makes me “get” catmosphere and cattitude. She’s a wonderful pet.

  33. 33.

    PurpleGirl

    Good Tunch photo. Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuunch.

    Neil — Very sorry for your loss. I hope that one day you’ll be able to remember the funny and good stories about Maxine with much joy.

    My friend with all the dogs also had two parrots — Snapps (a small green bird) and Quick Draw McCaw (a blue & gold McCaw). Snapps sat on a open perch and would sometimes give learing looks to the ferrets and we’d tell him, “Don’t you dare, they’d probably be able to take you out.” He never did try to attack them, just looked at them as if he wanted to. Quick Draw had a big old wrought iron cage. Sometimes he’d sit on the outside perch and flap his wings. You could feel the wind across the room. I don’t think either of them tried to fly around the room. For a few months they had a cockatoo, but he didn’t quite fit in with the menagerie. But the cockatoo had been raised in a pet shop with a Doberman pinscher and the bird could imitate the dog’s bark. It was strange to hear it the because we knew it wasn’t Hugo barking.

    I like BJ pet stories because they lead me to remember my friends’ pets.

  34. 34.

    Svensker

    @Neil:

    Sorry to hear about Maxine. Parrots are such amazing creatures. Sounds like the two of you had a good time together. Hugs.

  35. 35.

    DanielX

    At least he looks fairly placid…some sort of breakfast casserole for a brunch was being prepared by the spousal unit this am. Naturally, this resulted in the resident cats, Eric and Zoey (don’t ask), carrying on what my daughter refers to as “howling for ham”. Very succinct and accurate description…

  39. 39.

    koalaholik

    @DanielX: My cat Spookers (he saw things that weren’t there when he was a kitten) does what I call the “Baloney dance” every time my mother pulls out the Oscar Mayer balogna(yuck). I swear he hears the opening of the meat drawer even when he is in the basement.

    @Neil: RIP Maxine. She sounds like a great bird and you gave her a wonderful life.

  40. 40.

    dance around in your bones

    @Neil:

    Your eloquent tale of your bird’s passing made me get all choked up. I am so sad for you.

    I have a friend who got two double yellow head parrots from a U.S. Customs auction; they had been wrapped in tequila-soaked cloths and packed into a tire. Talk about dizzy birds.
    They lived with my friend for over 35 years. I won’t talk about their demise, but it was sad for my friend as well.

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