Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

When we show up, we win.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

When the time comes to make an endorsement, the pain of NYT editors will be palpable as they reluctantly whisper “Biden.”

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

The lights are all blinking red.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

We’re not going back!

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Because I am a Kind Man…

Because I am a Kind Man…

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…and wish only the best for you all, may I present the Honorable Rick Perry, Governor of the Great (Secessionist) State of Texas, tragically mistaken in his quest for the nearest ZZ Top venue.  (The really good stuff starts around 4:45)

<div align=”center”><iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/nsHCgCfLe_I” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe></div>

My thanks to Marc Abrahams, best known as the impresario of the IgNobels and the Annals of Improbable Research, for turning me on to this forgotten gem.

(To be fair:  Perry does his job just fine here.  Governating puts all kinds of demands on one’s sense of the surreal, and the man with the hair holds up pretty well.  But still.  It really is a moment of high-camp absurdity.)

Perhaps this might be considered a snicker and snark open thread?*

*Is there any other kind?

Reader Interactions

74Comments

  1. 1.

    Benjamin Franklin

    *Is there any other kind?

    In all seriousness, it would be nice to have a dead serious thread, sans phylacteries and locks

  3. 3.

    El Cid

    In a thread a few days ago I complained that I didn’t see many efforts to search not just for candidates but for progressives to train people to run for office, and so forth.

    I didn’t know People for the American Way did this.

    Watch this video. It’s inspiring. It’s the right thing to do, even when it’s in a hopeless electoral situation, except a lot of times it turns out it’s not hopeless — even for the first black Georgia state representative from Cobb County to unseat a Republican incumbent.

  4. 4.

    schrodinger's cat

    I have a question what is the significance of the hats that the orthodox Jewish people wear. Are they priests/rabbis or do all orthodox men wear ?

  5. 5.

    schrodinger's cat

    I have a question what is the significance of the hats that the orthodox Jewish people wear. Are they priests/rabbis or do all orthodox men wear them.

  11. 11.

    beltane

    @schrodinger’s cat: All orthodox Jewish men, not just rabbis, wear some form of headgear. The guys in the video are ultra-orthodox which means they wear their headgear in the form of the type of hat that was worn in 18th century Poland.

    Women also have to cover their heads with something.

  12. 12.

    ChrisNYC

    It’s pretty endearing the Perry seems to stow the lighter thing in the back waistband of his pants.

  13. 13.

    Dork

    @dmsilev: New Zealand lesbians, you say? Cool. I’ve donated to my couch, floor, and girlfriend’s stomach, but dayum.

    And people say you cant knock up a chick by going down under.

  14. 14.

    Warren Terra

    I don’t know how I feel about the goyishe Governor of Texas apparently officiating at some sort of official state Hannukiyah lighting ceremony (is it good, because it’s inclusive and celebrates the traditions of some Texans, or bad because it’s state plus religion?) – but I can’t help but think that he’d have been well advised to get advice from some actual Jews of his acquaintance. If he knows any. I realize that when Rick Perry thinks about Jews the Hasids, complete with the eighteenth-century-Polish-peasant outfits, are probably what comes to mind, but he could have found some Rabbis who were far more urbane to do the ceremony in a manner that might have helped him to preserve his dignity, and it would have looked far less like an anthropological exercise. Of course, if this is what he thinks of as being normal for American Jews, I can see why he’d have done it this way.

    In any case, the Brooklin-accented Ashkenazi Hebrew with Hasidic substitutions was amusing. And singing! And clapping!

  18. 18.

    catclub

    Seeing the Rick Perry thing on the side reminded me:
    Mitt is now as low, but no lower, than he was when the Perry train was at its peak at the Iowa Election markets. Gingrich is still slightly lower than Perry at his peak.

    The hats, of course all Jewish men are required to wear a hat, to be humble before God. I would guess there is a kipah
    under each of those hats in the picture – just in case.

    Interesting that in churches one takes ones hat off, nowadays. Except for the women in the black churches – crowns!

  19. 19.

    Linda Featheringill

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    As I understand it, in Judaism men cover their head as a sign of respect, like Christian men uncover their head for the same reason. Orthodox (by whatever name) men cover their head whenever there is a chance that God might be mentioned.

    Some seem to wear hats while others wear yarmulkes.

    Some Orthodox women also cover their head, usually with a wig [that looks a lot worse than their real hair]. Again, this is an expression of modesty and respect.

  21. 21.

    catclub

    @Linda Featheringill: in the book ‘Gospel’ by Wilton Barnhardt, he goes into the obsession that the uptight church fathers had over women’s hair. If you think people are only crazy now, it seems that no, that is kinda constant, too.

    I really like the book.

  23. 23.

    beltane

    @Linda Featheringill: I think that Orthodox women cut their hair off upon marriage (like nuns) so the wig serves a dual purpose of head covering and hair substitute. I’ve noticed that a lot of the ultra-orthodox settler women in Israel no longer wear wigs but have gone with the older, scarf around the head look.

  24. 24.

    pj

    Gov. Perry deserves praise for this ceremony. He performed as well as could be expected. A shtik fleish mit tzvei eigen. You know what I mean?

  25. 25.

    David in NY

    @beltane:

    18th century Poland.

    Or Hungary, or wherever the shtetl of origin was, in whatever century the customs, dictated by some charismatic leader, no doubt, solidified.

  26. 26.

    DougJ

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    The brilliance of Judaism is that they make the crazy ones wear hats.

    If Catholics made the crazy Catholics wear special hats, I would still be part of the Church. It’s an inspired idea.

  27. 27.

    Veritas

    So the Durban “climate change” conference was a miserable, miserable fucking failure. Not even Europe wants a binding international pact on carbon emissions anymore. The Global Warming Religion is in its death throes.

    The bottom line? More and more and more and more tons of glorious carbon will be pumped up into the atmosphere in ever increasing amounts. China and India put one new COAL fired power plant online everyday. That’s right, “progressives”—COAL, black, sooty, carbon-packed C-O-A-L, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

    Besides the power plants, China is now the world’s biggest car market. And the most popular cars there aren’t hybrids—there big, powerful, gas-guzzling SUVs and sports cars. Sucks to be an environmentalist nut these days, huh?

    RealityCheck

  29. 29.

    David in NY

    @Benjamin Franklin:

    Are Jews still waiting for he Messiah?

    The Lubavitchers used to drive their cars around Brooklyn with bumper stickers that said, “Mosiach now!”, on them.

    Now that the Grand Rebbe, their supposed Messiah, died without the coming of the millenium (or whatever) they’re trying to work it all out again. I’m not sure the current state of belief.

  32. 32.

    David in NY

    For a long time, the hair of choice for Hasidic women was from India, where women grew their hair very long, it was very dark, and they sold it. Then it turned out that such hair might well have been present at heathenish Hindu religious ceremonies. Horrors! Much disturbance. I’m still not sure how it turned out.

    (And then there were the rabbis who discovered that tap water contained non-kosher, single-celled creatures, which had to be filtered out with fine filtering systems which the rabbis just happened to be able to provide at a good price. Or maybe this was just another local slander here in Brooklyn.)

  33. 33.

    gaz

    @DougJ:

    If Catholics made the crazy Catholics wear special hats, I would still be part of the Church. It’s an inspired idea.

    What about the pope?

  37. 37.

    beltane

    @gaz: A bishop’s mitre is as crazy-looking piece of head gear as you’re likely to find. It’s the crazy lay Catholics who don’t wear the crazy hats, except for some of the old ladies. But you’ll never see someone like Ross Douthat wearing a crazy hat in public.

  40. 40.

    gaz

    i have a little (slightly) cross-eyed kitteh I rescued several months ago. He plays fetch (and it’s effin precious), but my camera won’t focus on him…. arg.

    Groucho Mugabe is the most adorb kitteh evah. I wish my cam would catch him fetching properly damn it! it’s 2011, and not only do I not have a flying car, but my webcam sucks. =(

    The jetsons lied to me. I haz a sad.

    Any tips on this? it’s an MS HD lifecam..

  41. 41.

    El Cid

    If ay’s all this damn global ‘warming’, then how come they’s still monkeys? Why’on’t ya answer that, Fat Al Gore? Or do we need to dance outside NANCY PELOSI WENT TO SYRIA! LOGAN ACT!‘s office as Jack Daniels again?

  42. 42.

    gnomedad

    The other thread was dead.

    Hey, guys, where ya goin’? Hey, wait up, will ya? Seriously, I’ve got another one to tell ya, and it’s hilarious! Hey, wait for me …

  49. 49.

    El Cid

    A great paragraph…

    As societies decline, silliness rises. This is not an accident of history. When you cannot mention, let alone debate, sensible solutions to societal problems, then the politics of distraction is all that is left. Fiddling While Rome Burns becomes Motorcycling While America Disintegrates. Sarah Palin is a structural necessity.

    …in a hard-core Marxian analysis.

    If you have a detectable number of people who can even comprehend the phrase “Wingnut Voltron,” you’ve got a special level of silly.

  50. 50.

    gaz

    @DougJ: It took them like 600 years to apologize for Galileo. Give em some time. They’ll have it sorted out by the second coming ;)

  51. 51.

    beltane

    @Veritas: Timing is everything, especially when you’re trolling. I know you put a lot of effort into this zinger but the moment isn’t right for it to have maximum impact. Why don’t you save this for a more opportune time when we’re not laughing at something else?

  53. 53.

    El Cid

    @Veritas: How would such a statement differ from a radical leftist libertarian soshullist to a rightist market triumphalist?

    That’s merely an empirical prediction; reality may function with or without its interpreters, at least to some degree.

  54. 54.

    Veritas

    When obambi get his ass kicked, it will be OMG TEH KOCHTOPUS, right El Cid? And don’t forget TEH KORPORATIONZ, that are being like, all KORPORATEY and stuff.

  55. 55.

    gaz

    Sarah Palin is a structural necessity.

    This is wrong on so many levels.

    But I’m not saying it’s incorrect.

    haz to be added to the balloon juice taglines at the top

  60. 60.

    El Cid

    @Veritas: I dunno — but it sure will be fun if the black Muslim Kenyonesian whips all your asses again. It was fun the first time; Part II will be that much louder.

  63. 63.

    gaz

    @El Cid:

    … be fun if the black Muslim …

    If? If?

    Who are they planning on running against him?

    (Yeah yeah I know – but no, but I mean *really* running – not grifting for book sales.)

    Seriously, their best chance (as I’ve mentioned) is to exhume reagan’s corpse. Nobody else will make it past the GOP base. Except for the current bag of loons. And we both know reagan’s corpse is far more electable, with better debating skills. Reagan’s corpse polls well with the base as well.

  66. 66.

    WaterGirl

    @gaz: I am not a photographer and I have very little natural talent in that arena.

    But my new iPhone makes a little square around what it thinks should be the focus of the photo, but if I tap somewhere else, say on the face of a sweet kitty who is fetching, it knows that should be the focus.

  67. 67.

    priscianusjr

    @beltane:

    The guys in the video are ultra-orthodox which means they wear their headgear in the form of the type of hat that was worn in 18th century Poland.

    They are ultra-orthodox, but if you look a little closer you will see they are wearing broad-brimmed fedoras, which were not worn in 18th-c Poland! That is a sign that they are Lubovicher Hasidim, who adopted this kind of hat about 50-60 years ago. Most orthodox men wear brimmed hats when they go outside, with a yarmulke under the hat, but the exact kind of hat and even the way they wear it is an indication of their particular affiliation or style of orthodoxy. The fur shtreimls are worn only by married hasidic men on sabbaths, holidays and other special occasions.

  68. 68.

    Anne Laurie

    @catclub:

    Interesting that in churches one takes ones hat off, nowadays. Except for the women in the black churches – crowns!

    There’s been many treatises written about what individuals do or don’t wear on their heads within the monotheistic traditions (which inevitably intersect with what people wear on their heads outside the sanctury). The very-simplified version I remember — mostly from Catholic sources — is that devout Jews cover their heads because Yehovah’s sight is so powerful His very gaze might burn a hole through their skulls without such a token of respect. The Christians, just to Be Different, therefore decreed that men would uncover their heads in church (or before other legal authorities), to prove that “they had nothing to hide from their God”.

    As many others have mentioned, women under all the major monotheistic traditions were/are required to keep their testosterone-enflaming hair covered. (Until the 1963 Vatican Council, Catholic women weren’t permitted to enter a church without a head covering, which meant good Catholic girls kept a little round lace doily in their handbags lest they be reduced to bobby-pinning a kleenex on their heads. Jackie Kennedy was a big proponent of the longer shoulder-length mantilla, even after less fashionista Catholics gave them up.) Religious practices, at least in Europe, intersected with the widespread cultural habit of using hairstyles/headcoverings to indicate a woman’s all-important marital status — unmarried ‘maidens’ usually styled their hair differently than married ladies, and older women/widows might be required to wear an even more restrictive style. Ladies of Jane Austen’s era started wearing a cap to indicate that they were “off the matrimonial market”, either because they’d hooked a husband or as a public announcement they’d given up trying. And from what I’ve seen from the outside, it’s also a certain “marker of maturity” when a lady within the Black church community starts wearing a “crown” to worship…

  70. 70.

    bob h

    Very few Jews I know are dumb enough to fall for this sort of thing. On the other hand, Glenn Beck was invited to the Israeli Senate.

  73. 73.

    flukebucket

    tragically mistaken in his quest for the nearest ZZ Top venue

    And snicker I did sir. Thank you very much.

  74. 74.

    Cris (without an H)

    So is there any particular protocol governing what word you use in place of the Name? I’m used to hearing “Adonai,” but these guys use “Hashem.” Is it just one of those things that depends on where you grew up?

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