My really good friend Ryan just called to inform me that his son was born at 11:30 central time, weighing in at almost 8 lbs, 19″ long, and with good color and vitals. His name is Cole (sort of after moi- they just loved my last name as a first name for a kid). I’m stoked.
Welcome to the universe, Cole!
asiangrrlMN
Congratulations, Cole! Welcome to the world, little Cole! ::throws confetti in the air::
Warren Terra
Congratulations to them, and to you.
Don’t you have to promise to make sure he grows up as a good Christian to be a Godfather? Or is this a more informal honor?
In any case, weren’t you already the godfather of the Balloon Juice family, John Cole(one) being an obvious rhyming pseudonym for Don Corleone?
Joey Maloney
מזל טוב!
and, ראשון!
…or not.
sherifffruitfly
Does “pics or it didn’t happen” apply to babies?
:) Congratulations!
elmertfudd
Congratulations to all! And don’t leave horse heads in any beds…
Warren Terra
Gads, I’d not have thought my Hebrew, which is not so much rusty as the faint hint of a red stain where once it stood, would be good enough to recognize Joey’s second line, which in context seems to be special congratulations on the occasion of a firstborn.
sfinny
Mazel tov and all that. Cole is a very nice name, but they wouldn’t go for Tunch?
Lysana
Woohoo! Hurrah for you and little Cole!
Debbie(aussie)
Wonderful news. For you John and for your friend and his partner. Congrats all round.Welcome little Cole.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Congrats!
My firstborn one day came into the house claiming he had seen God the Father. We were, of course, somewhat excited. Turns out, he had seen his Godfather (good friend of ours), who lived on the same street, driving by, and waving at him.
A story which is recalled every time we see our friends.
Fluke bucket
Congratulations! You gotta be proud. Welcome to the machine Little Cole.
Joey Maloney
You’re overthinking. It was just, “First!”
Big City Mary
Uh, this is a very BIG DEAL. You need to read up on this and be prepared to raise the child if anything should happen to the parents.
KRK
Congrats!
Did anyone think to warn the kid that someday, and that day may never come, you may call upon him to do a service for
youTunch?Jebediah
Groovy! Congratulations to all!
Villago Delenda Est
OK, time for you to put out your own 999 plan for young Cole.
9 bucks in the education fund
9 Dr. Seuss books
9 month subscription to WoW
Yutsano
OMEDETO GOZAIMASU YO!
Where’s our cigars? :)
Jebediah
@Villago Delenda Est:
Or just one 999 album. A totally not-made-up and wise-but-humble cab driver told me that all infinks really love late-70’s English punk. Helps them sleep. Or something.
jacy
Congrats all around! Now of course comes the hard part.
(And good choice on the name, my oldest is named Cole)
bend
Congratulations!
As the godfather it’s your job to ensure that the boy get’s circumcised. It’s a covenant with God, John.
Just kidding!
It’s for hygenic reasons…
Anne Laurie
Congratulations, John! Welcome to the neighborhood, young Cole ver.2.0!
Given your history, John, perhaps your first baby gift should include safety equipment… along with the biggest white plush cat toy you can find…
freelancer
Congrats, John.
Being a Godfather is pretty cool. You get to smile and be admired, and you get to hand the little shit back to his parents when he starts to freak.
Yutsano
@Anne Laurie: Is this like Sleeping Beauty where the three good fairies show up to bestow blessing and in the middle Malefecent shows up? :)
something fabulous
Nice! Sweet gig, too! Enjoy!!
stibbert
cheers for the new Cole, let’s hope the multiverse cuts him some slack ’til he’s able to cope.
best wishes to his mum & da, also too.
Anoniminous
Congratulations and Best Wishes to All.
Wrye
Wonderful news! But…”Cole” and not “Tunch”? Better not let The White Anvil find out, or his vengeance will be terrible to behold….
JGabriel
OT, but from today’s Times:
While I can see an argument for this … dude, no one is going think making anything more like the Federal Reserve is a good idea right now. The right hates the Fed, while the left thinks the Fed leans right and that its reputation for being apolitical is highly overrated, and even independents think the Fed is overly solicitous to the banking and financial industry.
Try looking for a better analogy.
.
JGabriel
@bend:
And to ensure he gets a thorough religious education so he can go to heaven. If Catholic, that’ll include making sure he receives communion and confirmation. Furthermore, you’ll be expected to adopt if the kid’s parents die.
It’s an enormous responsibility and commitment in the Eyes of God, John. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?
.
dance around in your bones
♫ ♬ Happy, happy, birthday baby
Although you’re with somebody new
Thought I’d drop a line to say
That I wish this happy day
Would find me beside you.
Happy, happy, birthday baby
No, I can’t call you my baby
Seems like years ago we met
On a day I can’t forget.
‘Cause that’s when we fell in love
Do you remember the names we had for each other
You were my pretty, I was your baby
How could we say goodbye?
Hope I didn’t spoil your birthday
I know I’m acting kinda crazy
So I’ll close this note to you
With good luck and wishes too.
Happy, happy birthday baby
Do you remember the names we had for each other
You were my pretty..I was your baby
How could we say goodbye?
Hope I didn’t spoil your birthday
I know I’m acting kinda crazy
So, I’ll close this note to you
With good luck and wishes too.
Happy, happy, birthday baby ♫ ♬
P.S. This is just what came to mind, besides, all the good Godfather jokes were already taken. Plus, I think Cole is a pretty neat name for a happy happy birthday baby!
Congrats ;)
Johannes
Many congrats, Cole and Cole!
SRW1
Congratulations.
Please be careful with the bundle. At this stage they are kind of fragile.
ETA: I see Anne Laurie already touched on the sensitive topic.
SGEW
You know, “Cole” is a pretty good first name.
Congrats to all involved!
Kevin K.
It would have been awkward if they named the kid “Balloon Juice.” I’m glad they went with Cole. Congrats, John.
harlana
congrats, John!
RedKitten
Wonderful news!!! I eagerly await the first sweet toddler utterance of “DIAF, you asshole.”
Kristine
Congrats!
max
But is Ryan’s last name John? Since then you would have reverse John Cole, potentially a great super villain. (Or super hero.)
max
[‘Congrats.’]
HRA
Congratulations to the parents and to the godfather.
Welcome to Cole with wishes for a long and healthy life.
sarah in brooklyn
Lucky kid!
R-Jud
@RedKitten: Little Cole should get a “John Cole Action Playset”: Terrible Towel, set of three plush animals, Little Feat albums, lifelike hospital bill, mop (costume not necessary).
SiubhanDuinne
Welcome, little Cole! Your godfather and his minions are all working hard to give you a good world.
JGabriel
Ravi Somaiya, New York Times on the latest revelations regarding James Murdoch’s Blackberry:
Personally, I think “confirmed” would have been a more accurate choice than “severely damaged”.
.
noodler
Congratulations JC, that’s sweet. (Father of 2 boys)
Hawes
Here’s what you say at the christening.
“I can do this thing for you. But one day – and that day may never come – I will ask you to do me a favor.”
And then you kill the heads of the Five Families. Plus, Mo Green, because nobody hits
FredoRosie like that.Omnes Omnibus
@Hawes: You don’t kill anyone. They all just happen to be killed during the the baptism. Total coinkydink.
ETA: Congrats, Cole.
Raven
@Hawes: I know it was you
RSA
Congratulations, John and Cole!
BTW, this would make a good BJ tagline.
JPL
Congrats
to the newest member of the balloon juice familyto Ryan and Mrs. Ryan and baby Cole.Soonergrunt
Wonderful news, John! Congrats to all, especially young Cole.
Amir Khalid
And tahniah from me too, to big Cole and little Cole both.
JCT
Ditto Joey Maloney — saved me from having to dig up my rusty hebrew.
Welcome Little Cole — so, John, are you in charge of choosing his first pet?
JasonF
Congratulations to you, Ryan, Mrs. Ryan, and most of all, to baby Cole!
Libby
Well congrats proud Godpop and to the happy family.
RedKitten
@R-Jud: Not to mention a tiny container of Hola Fruta and a Subaru.
emma
FELICIDADES!!!
Carnacki
In West Virginia it should be spelled “Coal.”
Cacti
Since you’re a Godfather, does that mean we all need to kiss your ring now Don Coleone?
MomSense
Congratulations!!
Have you broken the news to Tunch yet?
dance around in your bones
No particular reason, just love that line. The Godfather is a goldmine of quotes, como Pulp Fiction tambien.
only youse gotta say da Godfadda; tho I liked Libby’s Godpop.
dance around in your bones
frick, I forgot that the word tam.bien contains the am.bien drug moderation time-out. cwap.
PaulW
Started writing a homage to the Baptism scene from The Godfather, but realized it would be in poor taste, especially for the Theocon jerk who gets the Moe Greene Special. My apologies.
kay
Congratulations!
It means you have to buy him a car when he turns 16. It’s in there. Read the fine print.
Gregory
Mazel tov!
Librarian
Does that mean you hold Tunch in your lap while you’re consulting with your consigliere?
Culture of Truth
It’s your job to instill in him good values by getting him a job as a janitor in
tenfive years.Paul in KY
Congratulations, Patron.
Are you maybe dispensing favors on this most special day?
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Mazel tov!
Violet
Congratulations, John! Being a godparent is excellent fun. You get to be the one who sends the presents that makes lots of noise and get the kids hyped up on sugar before you drop the back off with their parents who get to deal with the aftermath.
Admiral_Komack
Congratulations!
Be there for your godson.
You are going to have fun!
Admiral_Komack
@Violet:
(ahem)…there is that, too…(hee, hee!)
IrishGirl
Congrats to you and the parents! Cole is a wonderful first name….Now we want to see a pic of you holding the baby….please! I now officially have baby lust. ;)
gogol's wife
Congratulations! I’m a godmother to a lovely young woman in Moscow, and it is really a great thing. Especially when you don’t have any of your own (if you don’t count all the 18-21 year-olds whose hands I hold as part of my job).
robertdsc-iPhone 4
Welcome to the world, little one. We share a birthday.
chrome agnomen
cole? at 8 lbs, should have named him tunch.
A.G.
Welcome to the world, Little Cole!
Sending waves of positive vibes to the newborn. And congrats to Ryan, his family and you, John.
Brachiator
@John Cole:
So, as could be said about the famous soul singer, “Say it loud, You’re the Godfather of Cole!”
Congrats.
Carrie
Congrats, you’re gonna love being a godparent.