Warning: All links are to Kathryn-Jean’s Bedsit of Solitude.
Maggie Gallagher thinks Ron Paul is an evil supporter of gay incest, but she would quite like to be the fourth Mrs Gingrich when Callista gets cancer or wrinkles or otherwise wears out her welcome.
Rudolph Giuliani quite likes Newt, because Newt has consistently acted like a suppurating arsehole, just like Rudy and the sainted Ronnie.
Christopher Hitchens is going to be royally pissed off when he gets to heaven and finds out just how wrong he was.
The Iowa debate was a sexy conserva-love-in where all the candidates did a naked liturgical dance and rubbed up against each other while shouting “Obama is the suxxors”.
Bono may be an enormous tosser, but conservatives who write about U2 wank so hard they take off several layers of skin:
Still, I submit that the songs of U2 betray a state of mind, a type of character, a way of looking at the civil social order that is undeniably conservative.
Santorum and Bachmann would be winning if only people didn’t have to listen to them or see them:
If we were to read transcripts of the debate and not watch or listen to TV, both would be at or near the top.
Villago Delenda Est
Sarah, while I appreciate that you read the Corner so we don’t have to, I do worry that the concentrated, near pure stupid of it will irritate your beautiful mind.
I am concerned.
BGinCHI
That’s a lot of NR reading time.
I’m concerned that you either lost a bet or have become a straight, white male.
Signed,
Concerned in the Midwest
Yutsano
@Villago Delenda Est: Meh. She’s a fictional 93 year old woman from Spokane. That’s insane by definition.
Sarah Proud and Tall
@Villago Delenda Est:
@BGinCHI:
I don’t actually read that shit. I just scan it for the really stupid bits. It’s not hard.
NobodySpecial
Well, they were quite religious in the early years. Don’t think conservatives are down with mocking racists, though.
joes527
The comments on Maggie Gallagher’s post are hilarious. If she can’t get love at the corner, she isn’t going to get love anywhere.
dmsilev
No Jonah Goldberg? Did they send him out on a donut run or something?
Villago Delenda Est
@dmsilev:
Only if they don’t want to eat the donuts themselves.
dmsilev
@joes527: Did someone accidentally import the commentariat from a liberal blog or something. I mean, I can understand a conservative audience being skeptical, but the comments are filled with things like this:
and
I mean, attacking Newt I can understand, since he’s been declared Unworthy by a whole pile of conservatives, but attacking Limbaugh in the same breath? Unpossible.
The Moar You Know
They are. Their adventures in tax-dodging and building ultra-expensive housing on top of environmentally sensitive areas would make any conservative proud. World-class sons of bitches if you ask me. Good tunes, though.
c u n d gulag
I love when Conservative idiots talk about bands like U2 and insist that they’re completely on-board with Conservatism.
It shows that they know less about R&R than they know about The Constitution.
Though, I can understand some of their confusion if they looked at the cover and title of the album “Boy.”
I think that album cover appeals to closeted anti-gay Conservative politicians, Christian Televangelists, and Catholic priests.
Now, if U2 came out with an album called “Meth And A Young Male Hooker,” they might be right after all.
Violet
Was there any Perry fluffing? In the post-debate tell-viewers-what-to-think blather, most of the Fox debate hosts and the pundits said Perry had his best debate and came across well, etc. I thought Perry still looked and sounded like the idiot he is, but what do I know. I figure the Perry fluffing has to be a desperate last minute attempt to get someone other than Mitt to win the nomination.
Anyone seen any evidence of Perry fluffing in the wingnutosphere?
shortstop
Howling at “Bedsit of Solitude.”
Sarah Proud and Tall
@Violet:
Violet
@Sarah Proud and Tall:
Aww…that’s not true fluffing. They acknowledge he doesn’t have a shot. I’m looking for “Perry is a true leader” kind of stuff like I heard on Fox last night. I think my jaw actually dropped watching host after host and pundit after pundit talk about how fantastically Perry had done. Perry always looks like a deer, who unfortunately looks like W, caught in the headlights while wearing an ill-fitting suit.
THE
Poor Christopher.
He would not have been surprised at the godbotherers saying that.
Egg Berry
Speaking of music contrarianism: Creed is good. From Slate.
Hill Dweller
@Egg Berry: Weiner should be flogged.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
So how long before the god botherers conclude Hitchen’s was a sekret Christian after all?
Montysano
Is there anyone who is more tragically lacking in self-awareness than our poor K-Lo?
Percysowner
Okay, I’m reasonably stunned that the devout Christians actually think an ATHEIST can get into heaven by good deeds alone. Isn’t that the whole point of being (Insert religion here), the deep and certain knowledge that once you are dead you can point and laugh and take joy in the suffering of the people who didn’t believe what you did? Be consistent here guys.
jayjaybear
@Egg Berry: Creed is good? I recognize all of the words, individually, but put together like that they’re just incomprehensible.
DanielX
@c u n d gulag: Yeah, ranks right up there with the wingnut meme a couple years back that insisted “Won’t Get Fooled Again” was the ultimate conservative anthem. That particular claim probably had Keith Moon throwing bottles through the front window of one of heaven’s rock and roll bars….
rlrr
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
Some of them are bound to confuse Christopher Hithchens with hist younger brother…
dmsilev
@Montysano: That was Victor Davis “Sparta!” Hanson, not K-Lo. Your comment, however, still applies.
Elizabelle
Alex Pareene is dribbling out his Hack 2011 list.
Hacks 10 through 6:
http://www.salon.com/2011/12/16/6_erick_erickson/
Don’t believe we’ve seen David Gregory yet? He’s an abomination.
Jay in Oregon
@Percysowner:
They’ve been trying to tear down that “faith without works is dead” idea for decades.
The driving element of conservative evangelical Christianity is that once you speak the magical prayer that turns you into a Real True Christian then you can be a greedy, hateful, ignorant bigot and God will love you all the same. Their copies of the Bible must be missing major chunks of the book of Matthew…
Benjamin Franklin
OT with h/t to Cannonfire.
Take the word Illuminati, reverse the letter order, place in browser bar as
http://www.itanimulli.
Whaddaya see?
Jay in Oregon
@Egg Berry:
“Creed is good”? Have they been listening to Cordon Cekko again?
Benjamin Franklin
auto hyperlink fouled it up
place JUST www before word…
Elizabelle
SEC charges former heads of Fannie, Freddie:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/ex-freddie-mac-fannie-mae-chiefs-sued-by-sec-over-loans/2011/12/16/gIQAnLPGyO_story.html
I hope we see a lot of government prosecution in the coming months. Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman lawyered up a while back; still waiting for that shoe to drop.
Suffern ACE
@Violet:
No one ever said that he was. At the height of Perry Mania, he lauded for being “comfortable” walking around a state fair in Iowa. Texas Miracle and a firm handshake. Yes, that’s about it. He won the important battle for “comfortable”, in an election where “smug” is what is really at stake.
Culture of Truth
I’ve most of the debates. Last night was the worst. Attack Iran, dispand the courts, generally weaselly behavior from Mitt and Newty
Mike in NC
Based on a close-up pic I saw of Newt with Callista the other day, she’s got enough Botox in her to stay wrinkle-free for a very long time.
Kilkee
The discussion about Hitchens in the NR comments is pretty entertaining, actually. Is he in for “a pleasant surprise?” The believers seem, overall, to hope not, since that would hardly be fair to them, now, would it?
catclub
@Enhanced Voting Techniques: I assume the Mormons are doing their post-mortem baptism on his name, as we speak.
Steeplejack
@Sarah Proud and Tall:
I was laughing at the phrase “bedsit of solitude” until I realized that basically describes my own living situation. Whoa.
JGabriel
Heh. This is good — Gay Republican Mayor Outed By Expensing His Canadian Gay Sex Store Purchases:
I’m thinking maybe this guy wanted to get caught. I mean, expensing your gay sex shop purchases to the city when you’re a closeted Republican? That’s just a whole new level of stupid.
.
handy
@DanielX:
Wingnuts struggle with that nuance thing.
Gin & Tonic
@Montysano:
I can’t see the word “ramrod” without thinking of a well-known club by that name in the far West Village (NYC) in the late 70’s/early 80’s. Although the word “straight” would not have been used in the same sentence.
S. cerevisiae
Thanks for wading into the swamp for us.
Here There Be Dragons.
Indeed.
RSA
@Kilkee:
Not much Christian charity in those NR comments.
The Other Bob
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
I was thinking the same thing. I am sure we will hear tall tales of a deathbed conversion soon.
lou
Bullet the Blue Sky:
“And I see those fighter planes, I see those fighter planes across the mudhuts where the children sleep”
And here I thought it was a critical song about El Salvador and the military regime the US supported.
Sarah Proud and Tall
@The Other Bob:
Already happened! Sullivan linked to Goldberg debunking a particularly pious and unpleasant Mark Judge article in the Daily Caller.
Judge (so not giving him a link):
Goldberg:
Joaquin M.
For the love of God, man. Why?
gaz
@Sarah Proud and Tall: You say you scan it for the *really* stupid bits.
In other words, you read it all, except for the conjunctions.
Paris
@Sarah Proud and Tall: ‘Ramrod straight’ may not be the best description of Rick Perry.
Villago Delenda Est
“Mischievous” is not the right word.
“Cretinously stupid and inherently disingenuous” is more like it.
Kilkee
@RSA: Not from the Christians, anyway.
Tone In DC
@JGabriel:
These closeted wingnuts are soooooooooooooo cognitively dissonant.
What is this, the fourth or fifth gooper to get caught like this over the last three years or so (since Mark Foley)?
eyelessgame
This reminds me of something.
Back when Andrew Sullivan first started wanking to Obama, he extolled the “conservative” virtues of the man – that he was prudent, cautious, manly, etc. etc.
From time to time there are columns about how the liberal establishment-hating soshulist hippie Jesus was actually “conservative” for this or that reason.
I got forwarded one of those “We are the red states.” emails by a conservative back in ’04 or something, where they were saying they were red states because they had barbeques and Little League and watched TV.
There are tons of other examples. Obviously all this is delusional, but the curious delusion is that they think normal human virtues are conservative virtues.
It’s self-delusional propaganda. They honestly imagine that liberals don’t value moral rectitude, integrity, patriotism, neighborhoods, friendship, etc. And then they’re surprised when they see a liberal person who demonstrates a plethora of normal human virtues, and they imagine that this makes that person secretly “conservative”.
I don’t know how to deal with this disease. LIBERALS HOLD THOSE VALUES AS STRONGLY AS CONSERVATIVES DO. We just understand them to be human values and don’t try to claim they’re solely liberal values. (We do think that liberal priorities *support* these virtues better than conservative priorities do. And we’re right. But somehow conservatives have this demonic vision that a liberal is one who doesn’t *want* people to be prudent, hardworking, successful, ambitious, etc.)
eyelessgame
FYWP. “Soshulist.” Dammit.
gaz
@eyelessgame: I may have to nom you for the best comment. (Although there’s so many good ones at BJ, I think I’ll sit this contest out).
Nicely done.
Joey Maloney
@JGabriel: I used to live in the next town over from Southaven. Trust me, he is that stupid.
Krankor
@NobodySpecial: Well, they were quite religious in the early years.
You should have gotten out of the boat and tried the other mangos;
Yea, you heard that right libtards. Fuckin’ Latin! Boo ya! How do you like them apples? Just watch the fuck out or we’ll get hyper-reactionary on your asses with some god damn Linear mo’fuckin’ B!!
JGabriel
Krankor:
If the media is the message, then shouldn’t that be in Linear A: Indecipherable.
.
Chris T.
@eyelessgame: “Word”, as they say.
(Speaking of which, did you steal your name from “Anagram (For Mongo)”?)
G
conservatives trying to claim the band with the songs
seconds… (off of war)
and bullet the blue sky (off of Joshua tree)
what’s next claiming Roger Waters/Pink Floyd for “the postwar dream”
eric burton for “sky pilot?”
wait was sabbath “conservative” with “war pigs”?
the stupid it just burns. the right wing so wants to have an artist to “claim” and they’re stuck with the likes of Dennis Miller, that they’ll project onto anyone the notion of “conservative”
much of art is about pain and struggle, and there just isn’t a whole lot of pain and struggle in being a trust fund baby… “fortunate son” ain’t about living the life of leisure
Nutella
Speaking of Republican candidates, a fun quote from LGM: