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You are here: Home / What I learned from The Corner today…

What I learned from The Corner today…

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Warning: All links are to Kathryn-Jean’s Bedsit of Solitude.

Maggie Gallagher thinks Ron Paul is an evil supporter of gay incest, but she would quite like to be the fourth Mrs Gingrich when Callista gets cancer or wrinkles or otherwise wears out her welcome.

Rudolph Giuliani quite likes Newt, because Newt has consistently acted like a suppurating arsehole, just like Rudy and the sainted Ronnie.

Christopher Hitchens is going to be royally pissed off when he gets to heaven and finds out just how wrong he was.

The Iowa debate was a sexy conserva-love-in where all the candidates did a naked liturgical dance and rubbed up against each other while shouting “Obama is the suxxors”.

Bono may be an enormous tosser, but conservatives who write about U2 wank so hard they take off several layers of skin:

Still, I submit that the songs of U2 betray a state of mind, a type of character, a way of looking at the civil social order that is undeniably conservative.

Santorum and Bachmann would be winning if only people didn’t have to listen to them or see them:

If we were to read transcripts of the debate and not watch or listen to TV, both would be at or near the top.

Reader Interactions

60Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Sarah, while I appreciate that you read the Corner so we don’t have to, I do worry that the concentrated, near pure stupid of it will irritate your beautiful mind.

    I am concerned.

  2. 2.

    BGinCHI

    That’s a lot of NR reading time.

    I’m concerned that you either lost a bet or have become a straight, white male.

    Signed,

    Concerned in the Midwest

  5. 5.

    NobodySpecial

    Still, I submit that the songs of U2 betray a state of mind, a type of character, a way of looking at the civil social order that is undeniably conservative.

    Well, they were quite religious in the early years. Don’t think conservatives are down with mocking racists, though.

  6. 6.

    joes527

    The comments on Maggie Gallagher’s post are hilarious. If she can’t get love at the corner, she isn’t going to get love anywhere.

  8. 8.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @dmsilev:

    No Jonah Goldberg? Did they send him out on a donut run or something?

    Only if they don’t want to eat the donuts themselves.

  9. 9.

    dmsilev

    @joes527: Did someone accidentally import the commentariat from a liberal blog or something. I mean, I can understand a conservative audience being skeptical, but the comments are filled with things like this:

    This is something from The Onion, right? Hahahaha. Maggie Gallagher – a woman who had a child out of wedlock – and Newt Gingrich – serial adulterer, who’s first marriage was to his high school geometry teacher when second and third marriages to the wh-res who broke up his first and second marriages – are going to lecture me on the sanctity of marriage? What a joke.

    and

    Some people want to block gay marriages because they need a lot of spare marriages for themselves. Newt and Rush are in bonus rounds.

    I mean, attacking Newt I can understand, since he’s been declared Unworthy by a whole pile of conservatives, but attacking Limbaugh in the same breath? Unpossible.

  10. 10.

    The Moar You Know

    Still, I submit that the songs of U2 betray a state of mind, a type of character, a way of looking at the civil social order that is undeniably conservative.

    They are. Their adventures in tax-dodging and building ultra-expensive housing on top of environmentally sensitive areas would make any conservative proud. World-class sons of bitches if you ask me. Good tunes, though.

  11. 11.

    c u n d gulag

    I love when Conservative idiots talk about bands like U2 and insist that they’re completely on-board with Conservatism.

    It shows that they know less about R&R than they know about The Constitution.

    Though, I can understand some of their confusion if they looked at the cover and title of the album “Boy.”

    I think that album cover appeals to closeted anti-gay Conservative politicians, Christian Televangelists, and Catholic priests.

    Now, if U2 came out with an album called “Meth And A Young Male Hooker,” they might be right after all.

  12. 12.

    Violet

    Was there any Perry fluffing? In the post-debate tell-viewers-what-to-think blather, most of the Fox debate hosts and the pundits said Perry had his best debate and came across well, etc. I thought Perry still looked and sounded like the idiot he is, but what do I know. I figure the Perry fluffing has to be a desperate last minute attempt to get someone other than Mitt to win the nomination.

    Anyone seen any evidence of Perry fluffing in the wingnutosphere?

  14. 14.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    @Violet:

    Perry is now coming off more statesmanlike, as a Sam Houston, ramrod-straight, simplifying issues into a matter of tough Texan yes or no. He is much better than before, but, and unfairly so, each little slide into something different — like his initial Tebow reference or turning the Congress into a part-time legislature — brings memories of past strangeness instead of offering levity or creativity. One gets the impression that when Perry does well, like tonight, it still is not enough, which suggests his earlier disastrous debates in the end have not have mattered all that much.

  15. 15.

    Violet

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:
    Aww…that’s not true fluffing. They acknowledge he doesn’t have a shot. I’m looking for “Perry is a true leader” kind of stuff like I heard on Fox last night. I think my jaw actually dropped watching host after host and pundit after pundit talk about how fantastically Perry had done. Perry always looks like a deer, who unfortunately looks like W, caught in the headlights while wearing an ill-fitting suit.

  19. 19.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    So how long before the god botherers conclude Hitchen’s was a sekret Christian after all?

  20. 20.

    Montysano

    Perry is now coming off more statesmanlike, as a Sam Houston, ramrod-straight

    Is there anyone who is more tragically lacking in self-awareness than our poor K-Lo?

  21. 21.

    Percysowner

    Okay, I’m reasonably stunned that the devout Christians actually think an ATHEIST can get into heaven by good deeds alone. Isn’t that the whole point of being (Insert religion here), the deep and certain knowledge that once you are dead you can point and laugh and take joy in the suffering of the people who didn’t believe what you did? Be consistent here guys.

  23. 23.

    DanielX

    @c u n d gulag: Yeah, ranks right up there with the wingnut meme a couple years back that insisted “Won’t Get Fooled Again” was the ultimate conservative anthem. That particular claim probably had Keith Moon throwing bottles through the front window of one of heaven’s rock and roll bars….

  27. 27.

    Jay in Oregon

    @Percysowner:
    They’ve been trying to tear down that “faith without works is dead” idea for decades.

    The driving element of conservative evangelical Christianity is that once you speak the magical prayer that turns you into a Real True Christian then you can be a greedy, hateful, ignorant bigot and God will love you all the same. Their copies of the Bible must be missing major chunks of the book of Matthew…

  31. 31.

    Elizabelle

    SEC charges former heads of Fannie, Freddie:

    Dec. 16 (Bloomberg) — Richard Syron, the former chief executive officer of Freddie Mac, and Daniel Mudd, ex-CEO of Fannie Mae, were sued by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission over disclosures they made about subprime loans.

    Complaints were filed against the two men today in Manhattan federal court. Also sued by the regulator were Enrico Dallavecchia, who was chief risk officer for Fannie Mae; Thomas Lund, Fannie’s Mae’s former executive vice president; Patricia Cook, Freddie Mac’s former executive vice president; and Donald Bisenius, who was a senior vice president at Freddie Mac.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/ex-freddie-mac-fannie-mae-chiefs-sued-by-sec-over-loans/2011/12/16/gIQAnLPGyO_story.html

    I hope we see a lot of government prosecution in the coming months. Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman lawyered up a while back; still waiting for that shoe to drop.

  32. 32.

    Suffern ACE

    @Violet:

    I’m looking for “Perry is a true leader” kind of stuff

    No one ever said that he was. At the height of Perry Mania, he lauded for being “comfortable” walking around a state fair in Iowa. Texas Miracle and a firm handshake. Yes, that’s about it. He won the important battle for “comfortable”, in an election where “smug” is what is really at stake.

  33. 33.

    Culture of Truth

    I’ve most of the debates. Last night was the worst. Attack Iran, dispand the courts, generally weaselly behavior from Mitt and Newty

  34. 34.

    Mike in NC

    Based on a close-up pic I saw of Newt with Callista the other day, she’s got enough Botox in her to stay wrinkle-free for a very long time.

  35. 35.

    Kilkee

    The discussion about Hitchens in the NR comments is pretty entertaining, actually. Is he in for “a pleasant surprise?” The believers seem, overall, to hope not, since that would hardly be fair to them, now, would it?

  37. 37.

    Steeplejack

    @Sarah Proud and Tall:

    I was laughing at the phrase “bedsit of solitude” until I realized that basically describes my own living situation. Whoa.

  38. 38.

    JGabriel

    Heh. This is good — Gay Republican Mayor Outed By Expensing His Canadian Gay Sex Store Purchases:

    Receipts from embattled Southaven [Mississippi] Mayor Greg Davis reveal that he had the city pay for wide-ranging expenses including thousands of dollars worth of liquor, expensive dinners at a local restaurant and a visit to an adult store catering to gay men while on a recruitment trip to Canada.
    __
    […]
    __
    As for the receipts, Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a conservative, family-values platform, said he couldn’t discuss specifics on the advice of his attorney.
    __
    […]
    __
    … a review by The CA shows that Davis spent thousands of dollars at the Mesquite Chop House in Southaven and thousands more at local liquor stores. Also included in the receipts is a charge for $67 at Priape, a store in Toronto that is described by its website as “Canada’s premiere gay lifestyle store and sex shop.”

    I’m thinking maybe this guy wanted to get caught. I mean, expensing your gay sex shop purchases to the city when you’re a closeted Republican? That’s just a whole new level of stupid.

    .

  39. 39.

    handy

    @DanielX:

    the wingnut meme a couple years back that insisted “Won’t Get Fooled Again” was the ultimate conservative anthem

    Wingnuts struggle with that nuance thing.

  40. 40.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Montysano:

    ramrod-straight

    I can’t see the word “ramrod” without thinking of a well-known club by that name in the far West Village (NYC) in the late 70’s/early 80’s. Although the word “straight” would not have been used in the same sentence.

  42. 42.

    RSA

    @Kilkee:

    The discussion about Hitchens in the NR comments is pretty entertaining, actually. Is he in for “a pleasant surprise?” The believers seem, overall, to hope not, since that would hardly be fair to them, now, would it?

    Not much Christian charity in those NR comments.

  44. 44.

    lou

    Bullet the Blue Sky:

    “And I see those fighter planes, I see those fighter planes across the mudhuts where the children sleep”

    And here I thought it was a critical song about El Salvador and the military regime the US supported.

  45. 45.

    Sarah Proud and Tall

    @The Other Bob:

    I am sure we will hear tall tales of a deathbed conversion soon.

    Already happened! Sullivan linked to Goldberg debunking a particularly pious and unpleasant Mark Judge article in the Daily Caller.

    Judge (so not giving him a link):

    I wouldn’t tell Christopher Hitchens that now is the time to get right with the Lord, or to pray or read the Bible. I wouldn’t try and convince him of the resurrection. I would only ask him to entertain the notion that love — the love he has for his life, his wife and his children, the love his readers have for him and the love that the doctors and nurses are showing him — is a real thing whose origins are worth exploring without glibness (sorry, saying “love for your fellow mammals” doesn’t require religion, as Hitchens did once, doesn’t cut it). It also can be done without Christophobia. I know that my discovery that I had cancer focused my mind on discovering the true nature of things, and I’m not talking about wishful thinking.
    __
    … And as Mother Teresa’s pain made her doubt her God, in second-guessing Nietzsche, Hitchens may be doubting his.

    Goldberg:

    Very early in his cancer, Hitchens told me that there would come a time when someone, a charlatan, maybe, or perhaps even some presumptuous person of misdirected goodwill, would try to convince the world that he was undergoing a deathbed conversion. I didn’t believe that such a thing would happen. “Watch,” he said.
    __
    Hitchens also said that if information emerged that he had, at some late stage, made a statement of faith, or a religious confession, including but not limited to, “I accept Jesus as my lord and savior,” or, “Muhammad, peace be unto him, is the messenger of God,” or, “the Lubavitcher rebbe is the true messiah and currently living in Brooklyn,” that his friends were to make it known that it was not the true Hitchens doing the confessing. This is what he told me once, during a video conversation we posted on this website: “The entity making such a remark might be a raving, terrified person whose cancer has spread to the brain,” he said. “I can’t guarantee that such an entity wouldn’t make such a ridiculous remark. But no one recognizable as myself would ever make such a ridiculous remark.”
    __
    So, just to be clear: Christopher Hitchens has not found God, and is not finding God. It is mischievous to suggest otherwise.

  49. 49.

    Villago Delenda Est

    So, just to be clear: Christopher Hitchens has not found God, and is not finding God. It is mischievous to suggest otherwise.

    “Mischievous” is not the right word.

    “Cretinously stupid and inherently disingenuous” is more like it.

  51. 51.

    Tone In DC

    @JGabriel:

    These closeted wingnuts are soooooooooooooo cognitively dissonant.

    What is this, the fourth or fifth gooper to get caught like this over the last three years or so (since Mark Foley)?

  52. 52.

    eyelessgame

    Still, I submit that the songs of U2 betray a state of mind, a type of character, a way of looking at the civil social order that is undeniably conservative.

    This reminds me of something.

    Back when Andrew Sullivan first started wanking to Obama, he extolled the “conservative” virtues of the man – that he was prudent, cautious, manly, etc. etc.

    From time to time there are columns about how the liberal establishment-hating soshulist hippie Jesus was actually “conservative” for this or that reason.

    I got forwarded one of those “We are the red states.” emails by a conservative back in ’04 or something, where they were saying they were red states because they had barbeques and Little League and watched TV.

    There are tons of other examples. Obviously all this is delusional, but the curious delusion is that they think normal human virtues are conservative virtues.

    It’s self-delusional propaganda. They honestly imagine that liberals don’t value moral rectitude, integrity, patriotism, neighborhoods, friendship, etc. And then they’re surprised when they see a liberal person who demonstrates a plethora of normal human virtues, and they imagine that this makes that person secretly “conservative”.

    I don’t know how to deal with this disease. LIBERALS HOLD THOSE VALUES AS STRONGLY AS CONSERVATIVES DO. We just understand them to be human values and don’t try to claim they’re solely liberal values. (We do think that liberal priorities *support* these virtues better than conservative priorities do. And we’re right. But somehow conservatives have this demonic vision that a liberal is one who doesn’t *want* people to be prudent, hardworking, successful, ambitious, etc.)

  56. 56.

    Krankor

    @NobodySpecial: Well, they were quite religious in the early years.

    You should have gotten out of the boat and tried the other mangos;

    Just because a rock song is about faith doesn’t mean that it’s conservative. But what about a rock song that’s about faith and whose chorus is in Latin? That’s beautifully reactionary …

    Yea, you heard that right libtards. Fuckin’ Latin! Boo ya! How do you like them apples? Just watch the fuck out or we’ll get hyper-reactionary on your asses with some god damn Linear mo’fuckin’ B!!

  57. 57.

    JGabriel

    Krankor:

    Just watch the fuck out or we’ll get hyper-reactionary on your asses with some god damn Linear mo’fuckin’ B!!

    If the media is the message, then shouldn’t that be in Linear A: Indecipherable.

    .

  59. 59.

    G

    conservatives trying to claim the band with the songs

    seconds… (off of war)
    and bullet the blue sky (off of Joshua tree)

    what’s next claiming Roger Waters/Pink Floyd for “the postwar dream”

    eric burton for “sky pilot?”

    wait was sabbath “conservative” with “war pigs”?

    the stupid it just burns. the right wing so wants to have an artist to “claim” and they’re stuck with the likes of Dennis Miller, that they’ll project onto anyone the notion of “conservative”

    much of art is about pain and struggle, and there just isn’t a whole lot of pain and struggle in being a trust fund baby… “fortunate son” ain’t about living the life of leisure

  60. 60.

    Nutella

    Speaking of Republican candidates, a fun quote from LGM:

    Rick Perry has amazingly proven that you can be too stupid to win a Republican nomination, Santorum has proven that it’s possible to be too much of a smarmy asshole to win the Republican nomination.

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