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Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

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A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Happy Festivus!

Happy Festivus!

by John Cole|  December 23, 201110:06 am| 120 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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This really is my favorite holiday. Let the Airing of Grievances begin…

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Previous Post: « It’s A Full On Grudge Festivus
Next Post: Keep talking, Charlie »

Reader Interactions

120Comments

  1. 1.

    chopper

    December 23, 2011 at 10:08 am

    i got a lot of problems with you, cole.

  2. 2.

    Comrade Mary

    December 23, 2011 at 10:09 am

    This really is my favorite holiday.

    No shit, John.

    My feat of strength today will be loading up the bike with ingredients for the last batch of Christmas baking, then exerting the willpower not to NOM all the stuff as it cools.

  3. 3.

    MikeBoyScout

    December 23, 2011 at 10:11 am

    WHERE’S MY PONY JC?

  4. 4.

    JPL

    December 23, 2011 at 10:11 am

    bah humbug!

  5. 5.

    Tom Levenson

    December 23, 2011 at 10:11 am

    I blame John for all the time spent here when I shoulda, coulda, woulda have been writing a book/reading a book/cooking/eating/hanging with my spouse/and…oh yeah…I’ve got it somewhere…rollicking with the truly bizarre window on the world that is an eleven year old boy.

    All your fault, man. (See — I can too get inside the mindscape of the modern GOP!)

  6. 6.

    Rosalita

    December 23, 2011 at 10:13 am

    I’ve been waiting for this all week, guess that means it’s become my favorite holiday too. Heh. So many grievances, so little time. But here’s one:

    John you’ve been slacking on the pet pics and posts.

    Remember, we come here for the politics and stay for the pets.

    That and all the awards Taylor Swift keeps winning pisses me off. All sounds the damn same to me. I have to shut her off, and I LIKE country music.

  7. 7.

    JPL

    December 23, 2011 at 10:14 am

    I’m shocked, just shocked..the house just passed the payroll tax cut extension. I guess they decided that it was necessary being the holiday season and all.

  8. 8.

    MattF

    December 23, 2011 at 10:15 am

    My grievance is the WaPo op-ed page. A menagerie of hacks, liars, crackpot economists, ex-libruls, assistants to war criminals, neo-cons.

  9. 9.

    TheMightyTrowel

    December 23, 2011 at 10:16 am

    It’s f’ing raining. Make it stop.

  10. 10.

    Brachiator

    December 23, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Oh he’ll yes. Festivus, for the rest of us.

    I have been waiting for an appropriate thread to wish happy holidays to all Balloon Juicers. You are a rambunctious, sometimes contentious bunch, but also some of the most consistently interesting, challenging, and insightful that I have run across anywhere on the InterTubes.

    Thank you, especially John Cole. And all obeisance to the mighty Tunch. And please don’t costume Lily in any Xmas Steeler gear this holiday season. Or don’t go overboard, at least.

    And with that, I’m getting my holiday on.

    Cheers

  11. 11.

    Cassidy

    December 23, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Republicans. I can’t stand those ratfuckers. If we were still “tribes” they’d be the skinny little shits to cowardly to go into battle.

  12. 12.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 23, 2011 at 10:18 am

    You know, my grievance is about bagels. As in, why is it “Festivus yes, bagels NO!”.

    But then Cosmo always was an odd sort.

  13. 13.

    Comrade Mary

    December 23, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Yeah, my grievance is the lack of pet photos.

  14. 14.

    beltane

    December 23, 2011 at 10:19 am

    The other day I managed to simultaneously separate a couple of eggs while making a bechamel sauce with nothing more than a saucepan and hand whisk, all while talking on the phone to my mother. I feel this makes me qualified to be the new Business & Economics editor at The Atlantic.

  15. 15.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 23, 2011 at 10:19 am

    @MattF:

    I do believe that you speak for me.

  16. 16.

    Comrade Mary

    December 23, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Yeah, my grievance is the lack of pet pics.

    YOU HAVE THREE CATS AND THREE DOGS IN THE HOUSE, JOHN. STOP BRAGGING AND START UPLOADING.

  17. 17.

    THE

    December 23, 2011 at 10:19 am

    I celebrate Isaac Newton’s birthday
    25th December 1642 — Old style calendar.

    This year will be the 369th anniversary.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    December 23, 2011 at 10:20 am

    @JPL: Let me guess. There’s an entire cloakroom just off the House floor filled with Teahadists that were bound and gagged by the saner Republicans to keep them off the main floor and screaming their objections.

  19. 19.

    BruinKid

    December 23, 2011 at 10:20 am

    My previous comment got lost among some fighting in the earlier open thread, but have you guys seen what Stephen Colbert is trying to do in South Carolina?

    Oh man, if he can actually get that referendum on the ballot about corporate personhood………….

  20. 20.

    JPL

    December 23, 2011 at 10:21 am

    @beltane: Well I burnt cookies so I’m over qualified. So there!

  21. 21.

    BruinKid

    December 23, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Oh, and Jib Jab’s come out with their 2011 year in review!

  22. 22.

    gogol's wife

    December 23, 2011 at 10:22 am

    @Tom Levenson:

    Yes, I now have carpal tunnel syndrome and I blame it on John Cole. Didn’t have it before I discovered BJ.

  23. 23.

    terry

    December 23, 2011 at 10:23 am

    So many grievances and so little time! But here’s one:

    Young Earth Creationists. I loathe you people’s belief system. You people tell me the earth is less than 10,000 years old, that some doddering old man collected one million species and sailed on a boat, that radiometric dating is inaccurate because one form of it isn’t useful past 50,000 years, that everything living NOW is descended from the life that was on that boat even though that’d be seen in our genes and it’s NOT, and that the god who killed everything is loving and I should worship it? What the fuck you people.

    but i’m wrong because I know evolution is real and the earth is 4.5 billion years old.

    fuck Creationists.

  24. 24.

    Yutsano

    December 23, 2011 at 10:25 am

    @Comrade Mary: My feat of strength is waking up. Especially after being up too late talking to a Dawg. Life is funny like that.

    I need a pole now.

  25. 25.

    Mark S.

    December 23, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Ha! Here’s some real contrarianism (I don’t think the article is available online):

    Perhaps inevitably, North Korea’s attempt appears to be tottering. But seeing how South Korea has turned out — its Koreanness utterly submerged in neon, hip-hop and every imaginable American influence, a romantic can allow himself a small measure of melancholy: North Korea, for all its faults, is undeniably still Korea, a place uniquely representative of an ancient and rather remarkable Asian culture. And that, in a world otherwise rendered so bland, is perhaps no bad thing.

    What a fucking asshole! He’s going to miss all the famines and gulags because he imagines that’s somehow more authentically Korean?

  26. 26.

    BruinKid

    December 23, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Grievance: Ron Paul fans who tell me that because Ron Paul wants to end the “racist war on drugs”, he therefore cannot possibly be racist, and the media’s trying to destroy his candidacy by, you know, asking him questions about those racist newsletters.

  27. 27.

    Viva BrisVegas

    December 23, 2011 at 10:27 am

    @beltane: I feel this makes me qualified to be the new Business & Economics editor at The Atlantic.

    But then would we get articles like “Why We Stopped Spanking”?

    Which, since I have no intention of actually reading any of it, I have assumed is personal advice for other newlyweds.

  28. 28.

    Bulworth

    December 23, 2011 at 10:27 am

    Grievance: Where are the Tunch pictures?!

  29. 29.

    Zifnab

    December 23, 2011 at 10:29 am

    How come we haven’t been named weblog award winner since 2007? We’ve been here four years afterward and get no respect. No respect, I tell you! You’ve got Tom with all that beautiful artwork he stays up late painting. Tim has, like, three PhDs by now. DougJ works the snark mines week in and week out. And our blog-host John Cole hasn’t given us a WordPress Blog Failure in months, maybe years. Isn’t that worth anything around here, internets? Maybe can we get a little appreciation? You never write. You never call.

  30. 30.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 10:29 am

    I’m outsourcing the airing of my grievances.

    http://www.newdeal20.org/2011/12/22/the-10-worst-economic-ideas-of-2011-67621/

    Economists and pundits who publicly espouse any of those Ten Worst Ideas should be rounded up and sent to a re-education camp where they can be cured of their mental disease.

  31. 31.

    Yutsano

    December 23, 2011 at 10:30 am

    @Mark S.:

    North Korea, for all its faults, is undeniably still Korea, a place uniquely representative of an ancient and rather remarkable Asian culture

    This statement is wrong on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin.

  32. 32.

    Benjamin Franklin

    December 23, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Ok. I’ll don the Grinch costume and say it…

    My grievance is Christmas.

    Occupy Xmas ….

    http://consortiumnews.com/2011/12/23/what-christmas-owes-to-abolitionists/

    “Before Christmas emerged as a commercial success, it led a checkered social life. In the 13 American colonies and the early days of the United States, it was known as a festival of heavy drinking and brawling.

    But as the struggle over slavery heated up in the 1830s, a band of Christian women abolitionists guided it into a holiday devoted to the prince of peace and emancipation.

    In 1834, members of William Lloyd Garrison’s newly formed Massachusetts Anti-Slavery Society – African-Americans and whites, men and women – saw Christmas as an opportunity to expose a hypocritical republic that proclaimed liberty for all yet held millions of African men, women and children captive in slavery.”

  33. 33.

    cathyx

    December 23, 2011 at 10:32 am

    John-
    Sorry you’re not spending your favorite holiday with your family, although I would have done the same thing if I were in you place.
    Grievances? Only one. Why can’t retail stores open before 10:00am all year round?

  34. 34.

    suzanne

    December 23, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Grievance: I got a stern talking-to for calling Ben Roethlisberger a rapist.

    Another grievance: Fat-hating is still all OK and shit.

    A third: I still don’t have a 2012 Balloon Juice calendar to go purchase.

    And finally: No one has given FourLoko a brain transplant and she still throws up all over the blog.

    I can live with all of the above.

  35. 35.

    jeffreyw

    December 23, 2011 at 10:35 am

    The Official Festivus Pie

  36. 36.

    Niques

    December 23, 2011 at 10:36 am

    @Brachiator: My feelings exactly. Thank you for saying it so well!

  37. 37.

    suzanne

    December 23, 2011 at 10:36 am

    @Mark S.:

    He’s going to miss all the famines and gulags because he imagines that’s somehow more authentically Korean?

    That is obnoxious hipster nostalgia for other-people-living-simple-lives-for-my-amusement-on-vacation WRIT HUGE.

  38. 38.

    IrishGirl

    December 23, 2011 at 10:36 am

    @Comrade Mary: WTF, somehow I missed the third dog and cat arrivals! I must have had my head up my a**.

    John, I demand photos this instant.

  39. 39.

    cathyx

    December 23, 2011 at 10:37 am

    @jeffreyw: Would you please add a description to you food? Is that apple?

  40. 40.

    jeffreyw

    December 23, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @Zifnab: I understand that BJ has been mentioned in dispatches.

  41. 41.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 23, 2011 at 10:39 am

    My grievance? The continuing decline of copy editing. Yes, yes, I know all you permissivists will say “English is a living language” — and I agree with you, if we’re talking about “truthiness” or “bleg” or the like. But, sweet Jesus, “their”, “there” and “they’re” [and shut up, Oxford commaists] are distinct words for a reason, as are “palate” and “palette.”

  42. 42.

    jeffreyw

    December 23, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @cathyx: That pie, Ma’am.

  43. 43.

    rlrr

    December 23, 2011 at 10:39 am

    @THE:

    I look forward to my yearly Newtonian swag…

  44. 44.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 10:40 am

    @suzanne:

    “No one has given FourLoko a brain transplant”

    As I understand it, the consensus is that the risk that her body would reject such a transplant is too high to justify the attempt.

    El Tiburon is next on the list, followed by AA+ Bonds and Benjamin Franklin.

  45. 45.

    Jerzy Russian

    December 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

    I don’t like the slow drivers in the left lanes of highways, especially when they think it is a good idea to go along side a slower car in the other lane.

  46. 46.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    December 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Obama let me down! He’s worse than Bush!

  47. 47.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    December 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

    My grievance is that matoko is still permitted to fuck up perfectly good threads with her incessant obsessing about her g*ddamned brilliance in using game theory to explain everything, including, it seems, her stunningly superior understanding of the one true superstition.

    I’m particularly pissed right now, as she has vomited all over soonergrunt’s heartfelt thread about his friend the sergeant, which includes schlemizel’s description of his son’s return from service. It’s just wrong to let her ruin such things.

    And I want my pony, right after my personal assistant. Double quick.

  48. 48.

    amk

    December 23, 2011 at 10:41 am

    @MattF: In short, wapo=capitalists’ pravda.

  49. 49.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    December 23, 2011 at 10:42 am

    ESPN talking about the New York Giants-New York Jets game like it is the only F*****g NFL game going on. What about the other games ESPN? And Dick Vitale’s worship of the Duke Blue Devils

  50. 50.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 23, 2011 at 10:42 am

    @BruinKid:

    Ron Paul fans are like Kim Sung-Il fans.

    The cult of personality is everything with them.

  51. 51.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 10:43 am

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Amen! Preach it, Brother G&T.

  52. 52.

    suzanne

    December 23, 2011 at 10:43 am

    @burnspbesq: Don’t forget eemom. Actually, her brain is fine, but it’s the heart that’s defective. Don’t know how to fix that.

  53. 53.

    rlrr

    December 23, 2011 at 10:44 am

    @terry:

    I would add the intelligent design (creationism by any other name…) clowns.

  54. 54.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    December 23, 2011 at 10:44 am

    @IrishGirl: Holiday visitors, while their people go off to celebrate in the southern Cole christmas location. Clearly John is delighted.

  55. 55.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 10:44 am

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    “Dick Vitale’s worship of the Duke Blue Devils”

    Coach Vitale is a wise man.

  56. 56.

    eemom

    December 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

    @Mark S.:
    @Yutsano:

    I don’t know anything about this Massie dude, but he had an excellent smackdown of that despicable drivel yesterday:

    I’m not sure I’ve read a more revolting pair of paragraphs this year. Just gawp at the casual glibness of waving aside the horrors of a gulag-famine state in this fashion, all so the world-weary “romantic” can be cheered-up by the refreshing local colour that makes North Korea so charmingly unique.

  57. 57.

    Quarks

    December 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Where to begin?

    1) I still don’t have a personal teleporter.

    2) Also, I still don’t have a personal food replicator thing that provides fudge and Haagen-Daas on demand.

    3) My mother. But that would take a several day Festivus celebration….

  58. 58.

    Mike in NC

    December 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Two days before Christmas and it’s 72 degrees outside. Everybody is wearing shorts and t-shirts. Good or bad, I can’t decide.

  59. 59.

    Satanicpanic

    December 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Grievance- I miss ED Kain
    I’m just kidding. This is maybe the best blog on the internet, keep up the good work Cole

  60. 60.

    Zandar

    December 23, 2011 at 10:48 am

    New job botched my direct deposit info.

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrievance.

  61. 61.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    December 23, 2011 at 10:49 am

    One more thing, this season’s episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, were very disappointing, I think the show has ran it’s course. And Sons Of Anarchy may be close to jumping the Shark, that last episode…Meh!

  62. 62.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 10:51 am

    @suzanne:

    “@burnspbesq: Don’t forget eemom.”

    Not going there. My friendship with e goes way back. She disappoints me occasionally, but I’m sure I disappoint her occasionally.

  63. 63.

    rlrr

    December 23, 2011 at 10:51 am

    @Satanicpanic:

    Here’s the worst blog on the internet (apparently getting degrees from fundie diploma mills doesn’t require knowing how to use paragraphs).

  64. 64.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 23, 2011 at 10:53 am

    @Zandar:

    That’s not a grievance.

    That’s actionable.

  65. 65.

    tesslibrarian

    December 23, 2011 at 10:53 am

    @Quarks: I share your #3 and raise it to #1 status, but only because she’s coming today, for 3 days, when my husband and I have both been sick, I’ve had to work this week (because I’m just feel-bad sick not contagious-sick, like other people at work), the house is a mess, I have to face the grocery store, our cat had a biopsy yesterday to determine whether he also has the super-rare cancer that killed my other cat exactly 2 years ago Wednesday, but I won’t find out for sure what’s happening until UGA labs come back from holiday.

    Also: this blog has no Preview button, and it’s been in the 60s and 70s all week.

    (wow, I *do* feel better now…thanks!)

  66. 66.

    Zandar

    December 23, 2011 at 10:55 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Oh, HR’s “fixing” it.

  67. 67.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 23, 2011 at 10:56 am

    My grievance, not enough Tunch. We needs some of his floofy goodness.

  68. 68.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 10:57 am

    @eemom:

    The Spectator is where Andrew would be working if he hadn’t emigrated. Alex Massie wants to be Andrew when he grows up. Proceed with caution.

  69. 69.

    eemom

    December 23, 2011 at 11:00 am

    @suzanne:

    aaaw, that’s harsh, snookums. I mean not everyone can measure up to the abundance of self-love with which your own heart overflows for all to share on these threads.

  70. 70.

    suzanne

    December 23, 2011 at 11:01 am

    @burnspbesq:

    My friendship with e goes way back. She disappoints me occasionally, but I’m sure I disappoint her occasionally.

    Whatever trips your trigger.

  71. 71.

    kd bart

    December 23, 2011 at 11:09 am

    PANTS!!! Why do we need them?

  72. 72.

    Comrade Mary

    December 23, 2011 at 11:11 am

    I am SO not Christian, but this video was a pleasant surprise. Not as good as the original, but still, a nice job.

  73. 73.

    Josie

    December 23, 2011 at 11:17 am

    We need descriptions of the interactions of the three dogs and three cats – where are they all hanging out, who is chasing whom and so forth. Videos would be helpful.

  74. 74.

    Maude

    December 23, 2011 at 11:17 am

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
    Thank you.

  75. 75.

    Phylllis

    December 23, 2011 at 11:22 am

    This bullshit about Christmas trees being representative of the Xtian ‘Tree of Life’. Blechh.

    And no preview button.

  76. 76.

    waratah

    December 23, 2011 at 11:27 am

    How about English muffins, crumpets and current scones?
    My gift to me arrived yesterday from Wolferman’s. came with a toy, a muffin splitter and spiced honey.
    Hard to wait until tomorrow morning. We will have these with a sourdough vegetable strata.

  77. 77.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 23, 2011 at 11:32 am

    @Josie: Seconded! Better still dress Tunch as Santypaws, before taking the pictures.

  78. 78.

    Josie

    December 23, 2011 at 11:40 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: Actually pictures taken during the dressing of Tunch would be pretty interesting.

  79. 79.

    kay

    December 23, 2011 at 11:45 am

    This is not a grievance, but is gloating. I have the best Christmas tree of my entire adult life. It’s perfect. It looks artificial, but it’s not.

    A fluke. A freak accident. I did what I always do, which is buy it after carefully shopping (for 35-40 seconds, or until I get cold and/or wet) from the people with the trailer on the corner by my house. This year is the Christmas tree high point, for me.

  80. 80.

    Comrade Mary

    December 23, 2011 at 11:46 am

    LIVE STREAMING OF PETS AT JOHN’S PLACE!!

  81. 81.

    kindness

    December 23, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I bought a nice fleece jacket at REI yesterday and when I got it home and was removing all the tags I found they never removed the damned security thingy from it. ARRRGGGH! It’s one of those that has the two dye packs in it (it’s transparent). Do I schlep all the way back to REI, receipt in hand to ask that they please remove the dye pack & let me wear my jacket or do I use my Dremel and cut the thing off without cracking the dye packets? Don’t know. Wish REI wasn’t so far away.

    OK, that’s it with my complaining for now.

  82. 82.

    terry

    December 23, 2011 at 11:46 am

    @53 oh yeah. Fuck intelligent design.

  83. 83.

    dead existentialist

    December 23, 2011 at 11:50 am

    @eemom: @suzanne: Catfight!
    /slips pants off

    @kd bart: Exactly! It’s a Festivus miracle!!!1!

  84. 84.

    eemom

    December 23, 2011 at 11:51 am

    @kindness:

    that’s happened to me before. GOD it is frustrating. If I were you I’d take it back to the store, raise hell about the inconvenience and not stop until they gave me a free gift card or something.

  85. 85.

    WaterGirl

    December 23, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    @kay: You deserve it! Do you remember the story of the little christmas tree that nobody wanted? I loved that story.

  86. 86.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 23, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    @Josie: That would be wonderful. I hope John has some band aids ready and 911 on his speed dial, just in case.

  87. 87.

    Tom Hilton

    December 23, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    In a thread of grievances, 85 comments and not one mention of Hamwald or Greensher? People, U R DOIN IT RONG.

  88. 88.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    @Tom Hilton:

    Naah.

    Hamsher’s Descent Into Madness appears to be permanent and irreversible, so what’s the point?

    And while it would be nice if Santa were to bring Greenwald a good editor for Christmas, on balance he’s more nice than naughty (although it’s a close call).

  89. 89.

    A Humble Lurker

    December 23, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    @jeffreyw:

    THIS. This is my grievance. jeffreyw posting pics of food that make me drool uncontrollably but I will never be able to make and/or partake in. :(

  90. 90.

    Satanicpanic

    December 23, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    @rlrr: Ooh, fundie trumpeter, that’s pretty bad. At least it’s not the bagpipes.

  91. 91.

    kay

    December 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Thanks watergirl.
    My son just said ‘it makes me sad though, because it’s a living thing” so the Christmas tree “makes him sad”.
    Great :)

  92. 92.

    Mnemosyne

    December 23, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    My allergies keep causing migraines, so I guess I finally have to break down and have my doctor refer me to an allergist.

    I have a crapload of house cleaning to do, and I am the world’s worst housekeeper. (Seriously, I’m shocked that camera crews from Hoarders haven’t shown up at our apartment yet.)

    We have to drive 8 hours tomorrow to get to spend one (1) full day with my family for Christmas, and then drive another 8 hours back home, because we’d rather do that than spend $400 on plane tickets.

    I have to fucking work on New Year’s Day. Fuck you, Weight Watchers.

    I brought my iPod stereo to work so I could listen to Christmas music and try to get back in the spirit, but I forgot the damn iPod at home.

    I’m wearing my Grinch shirt today in honor of all of the above.

  93. 93.

    kindness

    December 23, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    @Satanicpanic: Or an accordian.

  94. 94.

    Bubblegum Tate

    December 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Can we just take a second to marvel at how cathartic it is to shout, “I got a lot of problems with you people!”? Frank Costanza, you’re a goddamn genius.

  95. 95.

    Tom Hilton

    December 23, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    @burnspbesq: That’s a matter of opinion, I suppose. If you like habitually dishonest libertarian ratfuckers, you probably think he’s more nice than naughty.

  96. 96.

    eemom

    December 23, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    I’m wearing my Grinch shirt today in honor of all of the above.

    hey, thanks for reminding me! I have a Grinch shirt and I’d forgotten all about it.

    @Tom Hilton:

    I’m wichoo. Can’t stand that insufferable little twerp no way, no how, no when.

  97. 97.

    shortstop

    December 23, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    I’m aggrieved that we’re hosting a crowd tomorrow and I have a giant fever and a cough that won’t quit. But everything else is cool and gratitude-inducing.

  98. 98.

    shortstop

    December 23, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    @kay: We had similar luck with a $14.99 tree from Menard’s parking lot. I was kind of looking forward to the Charlie Brownesque decorating challenges it would present when we got it home and unbagged it, but there weren’t any. It’s perfect.

  99. 99.

    Morbo

    December 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    I have a crapload of house cleaning to do, and I am the world’s worst housekeeper. (Seriously, I’m shocked that camera crews from Hoarders haven’t shown up at our apartment yet.)

    Oh so true. Probably 80% of my problem is not taking out recycling but not being willing to put it in the trash.

  100. 100.

    rlrr

    December 23, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    @Satanicpanic:

    Have heard recordings of the fundie “trumpeter”, bagpipes would be a step up…

  101. 101.

    wrb

    December 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    @Morbo:

    Oh so true. Probably 80% of my problem is not taking out recycling but not being willing to put it in the trash.

    Our waste company solved this problem.

    I asked a guy there what they did with the recycling. He said they gave up trying to sell it years ago. Shipping cost more than they were paid. They respectfully collect everyone’s carefully sorted trash and then dump it all in the landfill.

  102. 102.

    WaterGirl

    December 23, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    @kay: Enjoy your good fortune with the perfect tree, and tell you son I said to tell him how lucky he is to have you for his mom.

  103. 103.

    Carrie

    December 23, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Well we finally got our phoquing snow and I am now aggrieved.

  104. 104.

    harlana

    December 23, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    so there is a holiday dedicated to bitching about stuff that still sticks in your craw? I guess I never really realized what Festivus is all about.

    As a Kos commenter said a few years ago, about being right about Iraq and then just being dismissed/scorned as an America-hater, where is my fucking apology?

  105. 105.

    harlana

    December 23, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    also, i’m sick, i think i have some sort of mini-flu thing; it’s great being off and actually geting paid for it for a change, though, so I ought not complain just because i’m sick on my day off.

  106. 106.

    Satanicpanic

    December 23, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    @rlrr: Oh that is one sad trumpet.

  107. 107.

    Mnemosyne

    December 23, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Seattleites, WTF is up with your cops? Pepper-spraying people who are buying shoes because they got a little too rowdy?

  108. 108.

    burnspbesq

    December 23, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    @Tom Hilton:

    I like people who care about preserving your civil liberties. I’m willing to put up with some foibles.

  109. 109.

    Loneoak

    December 23, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Isn’t this blog a year-round airing of grievances? It seems like that’s all we do, plus an occasional pet rescue thread/fundraiser.

  110. 110.

    gogol's wife

    December 23, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    @A Humble Lurker:

    Yeah, that’s one of my grievances too. I don’t even click any more.

  111. 111.

    shortstop

    December 23, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    @harlana: No, no, no. The airing of grievances is just the first activity. Then we move on to the feats of strength.

  112. 112.

    Mnemosyne

    December 23, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Also, too, one of my co-workers had three adorable mostly-Ragdoll kittens show up on her doorstep, so I haz a jealous now. They lost both of their cats within six months of each other, so apparently the Cat Fairy decided it was time for them to adopt a new set of cats.

    (Added linky to what Ragdolls are.)

  113. 113.

    Tom Hilton

    December 23, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    @burnspbesq: Dahlia Lithwick cares about preserving our civil liberties. She’s smart and intellectually honest. She’s worth paying attention to.

    Greenwald cares mostly about getting paid. (Getting paid, of course, depends on maintaining a high level of outrage among a fair number of people.) To the extent that he does care about preserving “civil liberties”, he defines them in an extremely narrow sense–the sense, that is, in which libertarians define the term. And in pursuing both these goals (the cash and the “civil liberties”) he habitually distorts, exaggerates, or invents facts to support his skewed interpretation. His writing has no value because it is unreliable.

    That’s the plus side of Greenwald. On the negative side, he’s a) pimping a racist paleofuckwit whose whole political philosophy is inimical to the rights of anyone who suffers or might suffer from discriminatory conduct; and b) working non-stop to defeat the current President, which means he’s effectively working to elect whatever dipshit wins the Republican nomination.

  114. 114.

    ruemara

    December 23, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    The most wonderful time of the year. I am spending most of my life supporting a jackass, a selfish one, at that. My house is so cold that, despite the sweater, shirt and sweats combo, I can feel my body fighting the convulsions as the chill seeps into my core. And I’ve been baking, so this place should be warm, but not my seat. I’m going to drop off some gifts to the local shelter and the post office, where some motherfuckers appreciate kindness and generosity instead of being a jackass. And my parents, having gotten their gifts, have told me they will be the usual multiple days late. That’s not too bad, actually. I more used to them forgetting. Now, my feat of strength is not killing people. At all. For the holiday.

  115. 115.

    opie jeanne

    December 23, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    My gripe is trivial, but it’s my gripe: Someone in my daughter’s company decided that the cast of her show should spend Christmas together, rather than with their families, so we dropped her off at the airport a little while ago, Australia-bound.

    The show doesn’t open for another week.

    They flew her home because it was cheaper than having to house the cast while the show equipment moved from Indonesia to Australia so at least we had her for a few days.

  116. 116.

    opie jeanne

    December 23, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    @ruemara: I’m sorry, but how does anyone forget Christmas? I ask this since this is what my 41-year-old son does, after he has opened his presents from us (and so have his friends), forgets to give us a call because he forgot that it was Christmas. He was better until we moved to Seattle, but still.

  117. 117.

    Ruckus

    December 23, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    @cathyx:
    I open at 11. 10 is so last year.

    Mainly because the number of customers that most stores see before 10 is minimal. IOW it costs more to open than is made.

  118. 118.

    WaterGirl

    December 23, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    @ruemara: Someone here had to do all the planning for their own birthday party this year and as of mid-day her person/partner/husband/whatever hadn’t remember it was her birthday. Was that you?

  119. 119.

    Jamie

    December 23, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    – Assholes that take up both seats on the subway. I’ve started going out of my way to make them move.
    – The asshole that broke bottles right outside of my door last week. I get it, you’re homeless, and it sucks, and you’re angry. But that’s not an excuse.
    – Clients that think completely changing the function of software after it is in testing should not cost more or take time to make happen.
    – How much dentists cost.

    I know, first world problems.

    For my feat of strength, I will snuggle this kitten until it breaks down and purrs.

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  1. AZ Quickies | Mrs. D. Ranged In AZ says:
    December 23, 2011 at 11:28 am

    […] to all my Jewish friends, Yuletide Greetings to all my pagan friends, and for the rest of us, there is Festivus! Share this:TwitterFacebookRedditDiggStumbleUponPrintEmailTumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like […]

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