Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

The willow is too close to the house.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

When we show up, we win.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Happy New Year Juicers

Reader Interactions

85Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    Ah the old make an appearance then split at the first opportunity trick. I always was a sucker for the classics.

    My brother is lost in ST:TOR. So I’m on a bed with a border collie typing and drinking a milkshake. A wild one I am.

  4. 4.

    I shouldn't just lurk in Vancouver

    Happy New Year John and all the Juicers. You are my first read at the end of the day and you guys are a constant source of information and amusement. I hope everyone’s 2012 is great

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    Starting to come down from my buzz from the mojitos, which is a good thing since I need to cut up a bunch of tortillas for the casserole.

    Okay, I had about 12 errors just in that sentence above. I may have to sober up a bit more before I start handling sharp objects.

  9. 9.

    hamletta

    @SiubhanDuinne: Well done, ma’am, well done.

    JC I’m glad you went and hung with your friends.

    Nashvegas is still 2011 for the next few, but Happy New Year to all my fellow Juicers!

  13. 13.

    amk

    Well, I’m not going to drop my NY wishes once more. If you want it, you have to go to the last thread.

  14. 14.

    k2winters

    John, I’ve been a very long-time lurker and am coming out of hiding to wish you a very, very Happy New Year.

    This is one of the first places I go to in the morning, and one of the last places I go to at night.

    Thank you!

  15. 15.

    suzanne

    I don’t know what y’all are talking about. It’s only 11 pm here. ;)

    I de-Christmas-ified the house today. I’ve had all the holiday merriment I can handle and I’m ready to hide in my sparsely decorated house once again.

  17. 17.

    Bruuuuce

    Happy New Year (and to come, for all those who live on the coast that’ll remain when we here fall into the Atlantic). May you all have a better year than all those before, and all your surprises be pleasant.

  20. 20.

    JCT

    @suzanne: I’m right with you down in Tucson, but I’ve had three serious drinks and it’s time to turn in.

    Assuming I can find my freaking bedroom…. sigh.

    Happy New Years — BJ folks!

  22. 22.

    jl

    Yeah, OK, Happy New Year to BJ, even though its still a few hours away here.

    I’m heading out soon.

    I will leave you with this. I have no idea who this is or what is going on, but somehow seems appropriate for Balloon Juicers

    Auld Lang Syne – Pussy Willow’s Theremin New Year’s Eve Video
    http://youtu.be/b_OqUDv60uw

    Yeah, I been on a theremin kick ever since I discovered a theremin Star Spangled banner.

  24. 24.

    billgerat

    It’s only 10:00 here on the Left Coast, and I am ensconced with a goblet of 2006 Pinot Noir, and shortly will be moving on to some Jonnie Walker Green Label scotch to ring in the New Year with. Happy New years to all!

  25. 25.

    jl

    Yeah, OK, Happy New Year to BJ, even though its still a few hours away here.

    I’m heading out soon.

    I will leave you with this. I have no idea who this is or what is going on, but somehow seems appropriate for Balloon Juicers

    Auld Lang Syne – P * s s * Willow’s Theremin New Year’s Eve Video
    http://youtu.be/b_OqUDv60uw

    Yeah, I been on a theremin kick ever since I discovered a theremin Star Spangled banner.

    Edit: Not to self, cannot type p * s s * on Balloon Juice.
    But you can talk about BJ all you want. Odd.

  26. 26.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    It’s been disappointingly quiet and explosion-free here in Baghdad by the Bay so far. I’ll probably fall asleep before midnight and then get awakened by the bombs bursting in air. Happy 2012, all – may it be better than the last year.

  28. 28.

    suzanne

    @JCT:

    I’m right with you down in Tucson, but I’ve had three serious drinks and it’s time to turn in.

    How are you digging Tucson? Whereabouts are you? You’re working at the UA, right? How’s that working out?

    My neighbors have been setting off fireworks for over an hour, and the dog is stressing out. Last year, she tore a hole in her doggie bed trying to literally climb into it, she was so scared. I’m hoping for a calmer night tonight, but I’m already hearing lots of sirens. CRAP.

  29. 29.

    Beauzeaux

    Went to our neighbor’s New Years party. All through at 8:30 pm. Came home and watched Jeopardy. It’s 10:10 here and we’re going to bed.

    New Year’s Eve is amateur night. Not a time to be out and about.

  31. 31.

    BGinCHI

    Happy new year all.

    Did I miss the announcement of best post of the year and best comment and all that??

  32. 32.

    dance around in your bones

    Gawd, so here I am hanging out on the OLD thread, and everybody is here instead.

    SUCH a LOOSER. (that spelling kills me.)

  33. 33.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    Hearing the Bieber musically assassinating Paul McCartney on TV was an experience.

  34. 34.

    Yutsano

    @suzanne: Jack is laying next to my bed panting. He doesn’t take big booms well. Fortunately they’ve been infrequent so far, but I dread it getting closer to midnight. I just got him on the bed, but he’s still in massive stress-out mode. Poor puppeh.

    @SiubhanDuinne: Jack is probably smart enough to type. He’s a pretty sharp dog.

    Oh and 新年快樂!

  35. 35.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @Yutsano: @suzanne: My poor kitteh Peter has already burrowed under the down comforter, where he is strictly not allowed to be, and put his paws over his ears. I’m not going to kick him out tonight; asploding things are hard on pets. The offspring, true urban kid that he is, will sleep through all of it.

  36. 36.

    dance around in your bones

    @Mnemosyne: Gawd, I can’t tell you how many times I have had to…..retype.

    Fer instance, about 37 bazillion times on that one sentence alone.

  43. 43.

    dance around in your bones

    @Yutsano:Oh Gawd…..youse guys.

    I remember some feminist writer (don’t know who right now cuz I buzzed) talking about loosening all our doors and windows and clothes and etc and…..well, frack. I forget the point.

    Mebbe I should log off,

    Oh hell, frick it.

  48. 48.

    Montysano

    Happy New Year to all from the hills of north Alabama. Thanks to John and all for running such a superb blog (with the best commentariat on the webz).

    ETA: home from two parties, designated driver duties fulfilled.

    Monty + (a quick) 3

  50. 50.

    piratedan

    ahhhh what a good night, spent the last three hours with my teenager introducing him to the joys of MST3K! After the events unfolding this year, I needed some tears of joy spent in the company of others and it was good to laugh together at a couple of MST3K classics (Mighty Jack and Time of the Apes), egad my middle is aching from the howling.

  51. 51.

    Mnemosyne

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:
    @Villago Delenda Est:

    We had an all-time classic radio moment here in Los Angeles when Gavin Rossdale from Bush was being interviewed and taking calls and a woman called in to say she loved him so much, she’d had his name tattooed on her chest: Galvin.

    He seemed to feel so bad having to tell her that she’d misspelled it.

  52. 52.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @PeakVT: Good list. Usually when you see cute photos you get the kittens (check) and the puppies (check) and the kittens with the puppies (check). You do not usually get the pet goose with custom-made Teva sandals. That alone made clicking the link worthwhile.

  57. 57.

    Punchy

    Im really fucking drunk. Bottle o’ champs + bottle o’ wine will do it….happy new years chuckleheads.

  58. 58.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @PeakVT: Yes, that one’s good, too. I saw it first around Halloween, complete with a photo essay on its construction. What a patient pup!

  59. 59.

    freelancer (iPhone)

    Mesa AZ near Broadway and Gilbert is going apeshit at the prospect of 2012 in the USA. Happy New Year to all my friend’s neighbors, to all new ‘zoni’s, to the world at large, and especially to my friends, family, and fellow Juicers!

  61. 61.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Punchy: Next year try Stoli and Bolli (warning: AbFab reference). That’ll knock your socks off.

    Oh heck, here’s Eddy and Patsy with the final say on the Kardashians.

    Kardashian Syndrome

  62. 62.

    Violet

    Happy New Year John and all Juicers. Had a fun evening. It was a frugal New Year’s celebration, but that doesn’t mean it was poor. The rule was, everything for dinner had to come from food and drink already in the house. We traded off who made various courses. Tons of good food. An excellent champagne to go with it all. I’m full and fairly drunk. A good evening.

  63. 63.

    SarahT

    I’m a long-time lurker, far too inarticulate / intimidated to post. But for several totally boring reasons just feel the need to wish (almost) all of you BalloonJuicers a very happy, healthy & productive 2012. Thank you for the entertaining & sometimes inspiring enlightenment. This is really a one-of-a-kind place.
    OK, sorry for the interruption. Back to unobtrusive drinking & lurking for me.

  64. 64.

    dance around in your bones

    @SarahT: You know what?

    Talk talk talk !!! We wanna hear your voice! So, quit lurking and talk!

    REALLY.

  69. 69.

    thalarctos

    Happy New Year, everyone!

    Thanks for being such a consistent source of sanity and of laughter for me when I’ve needed it.

    May the New Year be better than the old one for us all.

  70. 70.

    ruemara

    Well…saw TinTin and Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for NYE. Very thankful I did not cause a bad accident because I was on the freeway with a nearly flat tire, which achieved flatness a few blocks from home. Had zero drinks. Have no feeling of… goodness and possibility heading my way. Happy Fucking New Year. I’m looking forward to the parades tomorrow. I need to look forward to something, so beauty will do.

  72. 72.

    Darkrose

    Happy 2012, y’all!

    The wife and I went out earlier for our “Fuck Off and Die, 2011” dinner, and wow, was it fabulous. Mushroom and truffle cappucino to start, dayboat scallops over Israeli couscous, smoked duck breast with shaved brussels sprouts, beef tenderloin Wellington, and a trio of white, milk and dark chocolate mousse with a side of caramel mousse. Oh, and small glasses of four different wines. An excellent end to a crapsack year.

  73. 73.

    dance around in your bones

    ok….

    damn-had a glass o champers

    just want to say – lub u guys

    very thankful for this space

    goddamit

  74. 74.

    BD of MN

    I clanged in the new year behind the microphone running the karaoke show at my local watering hole. Pretty empty, mostly due to the winter storm warning (first of the year for the Twin Cities), but we had a few singers, and I played music over the Dick Clark ball drop until 11:58, then back to singing about 12:05…

    Happy New Year to you and your pets…

  75. 75.

    billgerat

    Just came back in from watching the fireworks outside, now I’m starting the new year right with some Moet and a Three Stooges movie. It’ll make me totally ready for anything the GOP clown car throws our way.

  79. 79.

    Debbie(aussie)

    happy new year all b’juicers. Almost second day of the year here gawd time flies :)

  80. 80.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Happy New Year to everyone! I hope it will be be better than the last but I have a feeling that for too many it won’t be.

    Treasure everything, every day, nothing lasts forever.

  82. 82.

    JCT

    @suzanne: OK, I will totally admit it, after my 3rd Rattlesnake the typing got dodgy — amazingly I am not hungover.

    How are you digging Tucson? Whereabouts are you? You’re working at the UA, right? How’s that working out?

    DON’T laugh, but until my house sells back east I’m in my RV in a trailer park. New job starts next week — I’m all jazzed and nervous at the same time. Weird to be a rookie at my age. But these are the jobs my better half and I always wanted, so here we go!

    I’m from CA originally so the West feels nice so far. And the mountains still give me a thrill. Can’t complain about the weather either..

    Congrats on the new niece — always fun. I have 4 of them.

    @piratedan: — I really cracked up over your MST3K post. When I shipped my oldest off to college I included a binder full of MST3K DVDs I had painstakingly collected over the years. They were a big hit in the dorms. I have to check out the two you mentioned, our family favorite is “The Day the Earth Froze” — we watch it during holidays and when we are together for vacations. My daughter will probably use it to screen potential “serious” boyfriends.

    @freelancer (iPhone): Count me in among the new zonis!

  83. 83.

    WaterGirl

    @ruemara: So glad you are safe! That must have been scary.

    Wish you were feeling more hopeful. When you’re feeling like that it can be hard to know whether that means you need to make some major changes in your life, or whether it means you should just hang in there because it’s not good to make big life changes when you are in such a difficult place.

    Either way, it’s a hard place to be. Give your kitties a big hug for me.

  84. 84.

    SuzieC

    Happy New Year to Balloon Juice, my favorite site on the innertoobz.

    Has anyone heard how the “Sarah Palin Iowa Earthquake” is doing? I’ve failed to find much snark about it.

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