Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

DeSantis transforms Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The revolution will be supervised.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Let’s finish the job.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Late Night Open Thread

Late Night Open Thread

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(Drew Sheneman via GoComics.com)
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Per TPMLivewire, Willard Romney, Richard Santorum, and Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz all took victory laps tonight.
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Rick Perry, on the other hand, may be reduced to campaigning for the VP slot, after “one of the most swift and complete collapses in primary history“.

Reader Interactions

115Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    Rick Perry, on the other hand, may be reduced to campaigning for the VP slot

    Only if Texas is somehow in danger. And for some reason I don’t see that happening.

  2. 2.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    DWS:

    But after five years of campaigning and adopting policies far to the right of Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich on issues ranging from economic philosophy, to immigration, to social issues, Mitt Romney still failed to convince voters that he could be trusted to help middle class families and those still trying to reach the middle class.

    Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark.

  3. 3.

    MikeJ

    I had an ancestor who lived in Iowa and was known as the smartest man in the county. They brought a woman with hiccups to him to cure, even though he wasn’t a doctor. He asked her to have a seat, and pulled the chair out from under her.

    I have a feeling he would be in hysterics tonight.

  4. 4.

    David Koch

    Biggest losers:

    Willard: for pouring 100 million dollars and 5 years into a campaign that losses to a disgraced has-been with no money.

    Olbermann: for wearing out his welcome with yet another employer after only 6 months.

  7. 7.

    Brandon

    I can’t keep from grinning that Romney got fewer votes this time around than 4 years ago.

  8. 8.

    The Dangerman

    Rick Perry, on the other hand, may be reduced to campaigning for the VP slot.

    He can campaign for it. Won’t get it, but he can campaign for it. Similarly, I’m campaigning for a phone call from Scarlett Johannsen.

  9. 9.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @David Koch:

    Olbermann: for wearing out his welcome with yet another employer after only 6 months.

    And, he had a silly slap-fight with that other douche, Piers Morgan, on twitter this afternoon.

  11. 11.

    Ira-NY

    Romney’s speech was poor. He simply does not have the skill set to be a national politician.

    He is lousy at retail politics. He is a so-so debater. He gives tepid interviews. His speeches are yawners.

  12. 12.

    Cassidy

    GLENN GREENWALD, GLENN GREENWALD,GLENN GREENWALD….

    So does he automatically appear like Bloody Mary or is this more of a Beetlejuice thing?

  13. 13.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @lamh35: No, but he appears to have had a hissy fit over something regarding Current’s Iowa caucus coverage, which he refused to host for some reason or other.

    ETA: here is something about it.

  16. 16.

    Roger Moore

    @Ira-NY:
    As @Jim, Foolish Literalist said in the previous thread:

    The psyche of George W Bush. The soul of Richard M Nixon. What could possibly go wrong?

    Fortunately, he also seems to have the charm of Calvin Coolidge and (given his inability to retain a consistent position from day to day) the memory of Ronald Reagan. The only thing that could make him a worse candidate would be the body of William Howard Taft, which is Gingrich’s cross to bear.

  18. 18.

    David Koch

    @lamh35: He’s on his way out. Current dropped him from anchoring the election coverage.

    He tweeted that he can’t talk about and referred everyone to ask Al Gore. Yikes.

  19. 19.

    David Koch

    @MikeJ: Nate reports that Google has counted more votes and has ManOnDog up by 4.

    either way, losing by 4 or winning by 1 to a disgraced has-been is a humiliation.

  20. 20.

    Warren Terra

    @Brandon:

    I can’t keep from grinning that Romney got fewer votes this time around than 4 years ago.

    It does depend on where you look. The New York Times says that in 2008 Romney got 29,949 votes (right now, with 99% reporting, they have him at 29,926). Other people seem to have found a source that says Romney got 30,021 in Iowa in 2008.

    It seems almost certain Romney will clear both of those numbers – but only just, and after spending the last four years working on Iowa, and with a slightly higher turnout this time around (though it being only slightly higher is itself amazing).

  22. 22.

    FlipYrWhig

    Republicans sure have a charisma deficit. The one guy who seems like the Reoublican idea of a fun guy, Perry, is out on his ass. It’s quizzical.

  28. 28.

    lamh35

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: @David Koch:

    Wow Olbermanns ego has been as big as his head for years. Is this dude on a kamikazes mission to destroy any career he ever had.

    I did think he was strange and a little beneath him that Al Gor had to play pundit. If I was Gore I’d tell Olbermann to suck it

  29. 29.

    Martin

    @Yutsano:

    Only if Texas is somehow in danger. And for some reason I don’t see that happening.

    I wouldn’t count Texas out. They’re pretty much all about body count down there, and Obamas got both Mittens and Santorum covered pretty well on that. They might need Perry before this is all over.

  32. 32.

    Roger Moore

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:
    Well, he hasn’t been able to keep up with the blogosphere. Can you imagine kibozing the blogosphere. I think that would only be possible with the aid of an AI of greater than human intelligence. There’s just too much blogosphere to keep up with.

  33. 33.

    lamh35

    @AlladinsLamp: Someone on msnbc reported newt does have a superpac, but pursuant to newts wishes they were doing only softball stuff. Well now the stakes have changed so guess what??? It’s go time

  34. 34.

    TooManyJens

    @Roger Moore: One does not simply grep the blogosphere.

    @lamh35:

    Someone on msnbc reported newt does have a superpac, but pursuant to newts wishes they were doing only softball stuff.

    That whole “not allowed to coordinate with the campaign” thing is such a charming fiction, isn’t it?

  35. 35.

    tc

    Sue Dvorsky, head of the Iowa Democratic Party, just said something interesting: as of now, Romney’s won 17 of Iowa’s 99 counties. But 13 of those are the top Democratic performing counties in the state. I hope that gets picked up tomorrow in the MSM’s analysis of tonight’s primary.

  39. 39.

    Calouste

    GOP Iowa caucuses:

    A candidate who hasn’t held elective office for 5 years and lost his last reelection attempt by 18%

    narrowly beats

    a candidate who hasn’t held elective office for 5 years and was so unpopular he didn’t even run for reelection.

  42. 42.

    AA+ Bonds

    FORGED IN THE LAVA FURNACE OF A CHUNKY VAGINA THESE CANDIDATES EMERGE ALIGHT WITH ETERNAL FLAME

  44. 44.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @MikeJ: *COUGH* there’s another one I haven’t seen in a long time. I’ll guess that alt.usenet.kooks is still active as well.

  45. 45.

    AA+ Bonds

    that is Douthat’s column for one reason: it allowed him to write it over cheese fries today and plug in the names while jacking off to Gantz

  48. 48.

    Roger Moore

    @TooManyJens:

    One does not simply grep the blogosphere.

    No, one Googles it instead. The problem isn’t with the search, it’s with responding in person to each and every mention of your name, even in passing or as a sub-match on a larger word.

  49. 49.

    AA+ Bonds

    @freelancer:

    I dont even know what the fuck happened with that Twitter nonsense, all I know is that ABL couldve turned half the trolls on here by going after Greenwald’s Ron Paul endorsement article point by point instead of picking shit over whatever the hell that was, but didn’t, ah well

    I mean, Greenwald has lost like 50% of the angry left over that business, the Paul article I mean, including me

    Guess we gotta leave it to the ladies & gentlemen of the eXiledOnline…

  50. 50.

    JGabriel

    Jeepers, I don’t believe this. 99.5% reporting:

    Man On Dog 29,968
    Dog On Car 29,964

    Four votes separating them. Four.

    .

  51. 51.

    Brandon

    @Warren Terra: The fact remains that one can still reasonably make the case that after 4 years and $10 million, Romney could not convince one single additional person to vote for him. That is a stunning indictment.

  55. 55.

    Yutsano

    @Martin: I hope hope hope Sanchez does declare for Senate down there. A successful Hispanic general would definitely energize a couple of different voting blocks coupled with Obama coordination. It could get quite epic.

  60. 60.

    MikeJ

    BTW, earlier today I saw an ad on one of the dollar a holler cable stations where they were asking people to call an 800 number to stop Obamacare. Looked like an exercise in list building for the Sturmabteilung, but I was curious if anyone else had seen the ads.

  62. 62.

    cthulhu

    @tc:

    Sue Dvorsky, head of the Iowa Democratic Party, just said something interesting: as of now, Romney’s won 17 of Iowa’s 99 counties. But 13 of those are the top Democratic performing counties in the state. I hope that gets picked up tomorrow in the MSM’s analysis of tonight’s primary.

    Well, that would be expected. Despite all his maneuvers to the contrary, Mittens is the most centrist candidate. So, yes, Mittens would tend to fare better in Dem strongholds were the local GOP would tend also to be more sane. The real question is, in the general, when Mitt pivots, as he must, to become Centrist Mitt 3.0, whether the outlying conservative counties will just give up on him and stay home.

    Ultimately I like Obama’s chances of taking IA a second time though the Obama 12 campaign doesn’t rely on it.

  63. 63.

    Hill Dweller

    @amk: It doesn’t really matter at this point. The dye has been cast. No one, not even the Romney campaign, is going to call this a victory, especially with some new votes seemingly popping up in the middle of the night.

  67. 67.

    AA+ Bonds

    There’s your talking point for your local Republican: “Can you believe [candidate they are less likely to support] stole Iowa like that? I tell you, that vote count was DIRTY.”

    “Undisclosed location? More like [same dipshit candidate]’s campaign headquarters!”

  72. 72.

    AA+ Bonds

    On the lips of every smart Democrat tomorrow:

    “WHO STOLE IOWA?”

    Never, never underestimate the power of Dolchstoßlegende over a Republican.

  73. 73.

    David Koch

    Nate Silver says “fuck-it”, he’s going to bed, he’s not going to wait any longer.

  74. 74.

    Hill Dweller

    @amk: I hope they do get riled up. Hell, Santorum should start making noise about votes popping up in the middle of the night.

    Nevertheless, Romney is weaker now than he was before the vote was held. And it reaffirmed what everyone already knew: people don’t like Romney.

  75. 75.

    Brandon

    @AA+ Bonds: Has no one even asked about the results of the military caucuses yet? I mean seriously, what about our men and women in uniform from Iowa who have put themselves in harms way, shouldn’t they get the chance to caucus tomorrow?

  76. 76.

    freelancer

    Sue Dvorsky, head of the Iowa Democratic Party

    Her name is Dvorsky? Her twitter says she’s married and she’s wearing a band. That must have been a nervous proposal.

    “Sue, I’d really like you to be Mrs. Dvorsky. Will you marry me?”

  77. 77.

    AA+ Bonds

    @Brandon:

    I KNOW RIGHT. Does Mitt Romney not think Iowa’s soldiers and sailors and airmen and Marines are Americans because they’re fighting overseas, I don’t know, he has some weird beliefs…….

  79. 79.

    MikeJ

    @AA+ Bonds: I found it hilarious they told people that even if they had signed the petition before, they should call the 800 number and sign again and again. Had I not been in the middle of waxing my cat I might have called myself just to find out more about them.

  80. 80.

    Brandon

    @amk:

    I know but we could rile up the fundies base to hate willard more if they thought he stole the win from them.

    Considering that the IA GOP has decided to perform the count from a secret undisclosed location, I have a pretty good feeling that it won’t take a lot of initiative to prime that pump of disgruntlement.

  81. 81.

    AA+ Bonds

    I hear tell that the overseas military vote went overwhelmingly to Ron Paul but the statist whores at the “Republican” Party are sitting on it so that Romney can win New Hampshire!

    The truth will out! We’ll know my theory (more like fact!) is true if Romney wins New Hampshire by a large amount

    [crossposted at five different sites in the last two minutes]

  82. 82.

    AA+ Bonds

    If you want to troll over Iowa divisions, remember: the Ron Paul people stay up late late late and they all on the Internet erryday

  84. 84.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    Can someone explain to me the cable TV clowns’ obsession with Huntsman? He has been, is, and will continue to be a non-factor.

  85. 85.

    AA+ Bonds

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    b/c that’s where he’ll be working when he’s done with this year, in between his guest columns next to Friedman and Brooks in the Times . . . and then his 2016 run, who knows, Huntsman/Bloomberg sounds about right for Fascism 2.0

    My guess is whichever channel most expertly cradles Huntsman’s balls at <1% will get first draft

  86. 86.

    AA+ Bonds

    You see, Huntsman is a sane chap, a real centrist character, who believes that global warming will be solved by wholesale deregulation of pollution (if global warming is real, because, y’know, Huntsman acknowledges that those Scientists are having a Debate about it!)

  87. 87.

    Brandon

    @AA+ Bonds: @AA+ Bonds: I love that you ran with the military ballot angle, because it is so preposterous that somehow, somewhere, either at Bagram or a carrier in the Gulf, that enlisted Iowans would have the numbers, time and inclination to be able to organize a caucus meeting at like 5 AM and vote delegates to the state party convention. Particularly for this list of clowns. I seriously hope like hell to see Paul supporters parroting that line in no time. There was apparently an Iowans abroad caucus in Moscow after all.

  88. 88.

    AA+ Bonds

    Now let’s go to Jon Huntsman, former governor of Utah, for his take on the Kill All Union Organizers bill . . .

    “Well Wolf, I think it’s very important that we not tie companies down to agreements that will keep us from being competitive with the BRIC economies. . .”

    Sweet fucking Christ do I hate Jon Huntsman

  89. 89.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    This may be the biggest laugh I’ve had all day. The Chargers are keeping Norv Turner as their coach!

  90. 90.

    AA+ Bonds

    @Brandon:

    People on the Internet often do not know how the non-Internet works, I’m already getting some bites

    Ron Paul is the only man that a MAN who keeps his oath can vote for!! I am a veteran and I call upon all warriors to support Ron Paul and give to his campaign!

  92. 92.

    Brandon

    @AA+ Bonds: The only area I am aware of where he may actually be sane is in Foreign Policy. Other than that, if he actually did become a threat, I wonder how long it would take for rivals to point out that as Gov. of UT, he presided over a state with one of the highest percentage of welfare recipients in the country. Since Noot like to call Obama the “Food Stamp President”, I am pretty sure he’d have to nail Huntsman on this and no one would need to know that there are no blacks in Utah.

  93. 93.

    Brandon

    @AA+ Bonds: That’s brilliant. Are Paulistas logging in via AOL or something, because judging by the kinds of things I read from them on the internet, I very well would expect that they would be.

  95. 95.

    Triassic Sands

    Man on Dog cums from behind and almost pulls out a victory.

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Can someone explain to me the cable TV clowns’ obsession with Huntsman? He has been, is, and will continue to be a non-factor.

    He hasn’t had his turn yet.

  96. 96.

    opie jeanne

    @Yutsano: You’re just the guy I want to talk to about the Washington primaries or caucuses or whatever the heck they are. Can you direct me to a website that explains them because I have hunted and hunted and maybe I’m not asking the right question, but I’m not finding anything that helps.

  101. 101.

    Calouste

    @AA+ Bonds:

    So Huntsman’s target is that the USA should compete with third-world countries rather than first-world countries? I must admit there is not much hope with the latter, but he could at least pretend.

    Or, in other words:
    Reagan: We’re losing to Germany and Japan.
    Huntsman: We’re losing to Brazil, Russia, India and China.

    30 years of progress I guess.

  103. 103.

    AA+ Bonds

    @Calouste:

    Here’s a term you’ll hear a lot in the coming months: “opportunity zones”. Cain talked a bit about this – giving cities tax breaks to recreate Third World working conditions in designated areas.

    No child labor laws, no minimum wage, no OSHA, etc. Probably wouldn’t even get past the courts but folks are going to try, I expect in Texas or Oklahoma.

    Anyone who has a Wall Streeter pretending to be an economist in their stable is going to be pushing this line, and I expect the Brooksian centrists to latch onto it. They love this idea, that America’s problem is that we won’t sweatshop it up

  104. 104.

    AA+ Bonds

    @amk:

    The Paul freaks are on about some thing where Bachmann said that she’d get all of Paul’s supporters’ votes today and thus win Iowa and they are really gloating over that, nothing is really a defeat to them

  106. 106.

    JGabriel

    Final Score, Dog On Car beats Man On Dog by 8 votes:

    Mitt Romney — 30,015 24.6%

    Rick Santorum — 30,007 24.5%

    Ron Paul — 26,219 21.4%

    Newt Gingrich — 16,251 13.3%

    Rick Perry — 12,604 10.3%

    Michele Bachmann — 6,073 5.0%

    Jon Huntsman — 745 0.6%

    No Preference — 135 0.1%

    Other — 117 0.1%

    Herman Cain — 58 0.1%

    Buddy Roemer — 31 0.0%

    .

  107. 107.

    AA+ Bonds

    @Brandon:

    Also thanks for the image of a bunch of worried expats in Moscow scribbling “RICK SANTORUM” onto pieces of paper with street-bought obnazhenuiya pens as they try furiously to keep the lady’s clothes on

  112. 112.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @AA+ Bonds: The funniest part about all of this is that THE VOTE TOTALS DON’T MATTER. The delegates to the state convention, which is where they determine how many delegates to the national convention each candidate gets, are selected after the straw poll is done. The numbers everyone is quoting mean zip with regards to who actually gets the most delegates.

    I expect Paul to win the only vote that actually should matter, because his fans are exactly the sort of tedious fanatics who would stick around for the long haul.

  113. 113.

    Kane

    Mitt Romney: Six votes less than 2008. Once again, the most disliked individual among his peers.
    Rick Santorum: Solid conservative, if you consider voting for all of Bush policies solid.
    Ron Paul: GOP establishment will never accept him unless he agrees to perpetual pre-emptive war.
    Newt Gingrich: The historian’s next lesson is to make history of Mitt.
    Rick Perry: Not even smart enough for the anti-intellectual party. He can’t wait to get back to Texas.
    Michele Bachmann: Tone deaf to the bitter end. Someone tell her it’s over.
    Jon Huntsman: AWOL. What was the point?

  114. 114.

    JPL

    McCain is going to endorse Mitt today. I’m still waiting to see if Mitt snatches the big Palin endorsement though.

  115. 115.

    opie jeanne

    @Yutsano: Thank you, it did help. I was thinking I’d participate in the Republicans’ straw poll, just for fun.

    That kind of fun can backfire, though. I might not find it easy to keep my mouth shut.

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