Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

People are complicated. Love is not.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2012 / Mitt Romney, Ron Paul face awkward moment after unexpected emergence of Santorum

Mitt Romney, Ron Paul face awkward moment after unexpected emergence of Santorum

by | 33 Comments

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Lord help those headline writers.

In related news, I have a bone to pick with the nine or ten of you Iowans who maliciously changed your vote to kill my perfect record of prognostification. The spaghetti monster saw. The spaghetti monster always sees.

***Update***

First comment wins thread.

I’m told that Google News this morning went with “Santorum is a solid #2”.

Reader Interactions

33Comments

  4. 4.

    Schlemizel

    When I am named Ruler For Life one of my first official acts will be to grant Knighthood to Dan Savage.

    Yes, Knighthood! I’m going to have an official sword forged and perform the investitures on the Portico steps of the White House.

  5. 5.

    Jerzy Russian

    @Zagloba:

    I’m told that Google News this morning went with “Santorum is a solid #2”.

    That one has to be intentional, in which case perhaps there is a glimmer of hope for our press corpse.

  6. 6.

    dmsilev

    Some news outlets have no sense of humor. Best I could find on the NY Times site was “Santorum’s Lean Operation Yields Strong Result”. WaPo is a bit better with “Santorum hopes to build on Iowa surge”.

  7. 7.

    MattF

    I think there’s a good case here for a one-time Nobel Prize to Dan Savage for Search Engine Optimization. Srsly.

  8. 8.

    nastybrutishntall

    But they say Santorum is good on the stump. Which opens up all kinds of possibilities: GOP voters look and see #2 Santorum, but still want more. It could be a squeaker.

  9. 9.

    dmsilev

    The Guardian:

    Bullets, lube and paper tigers: a beginner’s guide to Rick Santorum
    __
    The ultra-conservative Republican who came good in Iowa has tried out a variety of discomfiting positions

    Yes, that’s the headline and subhead. Why can’t we have things like this over here?

  11. 11.

    kindness

    Honestly, did anyone expect anyone to suggest the election results as ‘Romney wrestles with Sanitorum in a frothy mix’?

  13. 13.

    Nemesis

    “Santorums cum from behind rear near miss delivers painful blow to gop elites”

    “Santorum enjoys #2 position with Iowa caucuses”

    Santorum on caucuses: “You have to know how to work ’em”

    Santorum on the race: “The end is in sight and the race is wide open”

    “In final hard push, Willard wins with eight”

  16. 16.

    Julia Grey

    We also don’t get the “page three girls,” which is odd considering how many newspapers Murdoch owns.

    Americans are such prudes.

    “No sex please, we’re British,” has somehow morphed into, “We’re British, so show us your tits!”

  20. 20.

    Brutusettu

    I never really watched much of Rick Santorum talking…
    But after seeing some of his speeches, seeing the way he carries himself, and being aware that teh gays are on his mind a lot, I think he should never play a drinking game with Michelle Bachmann’s husband while the 2 of them are alone and not expect some santorum. Just sayin’.

  22. 22.

    MTiffany

    If the emergence of santorum is expected, find a different partner (unless that’s your thing…)

  27. 27.

    handsmile

    Having won top dog in Sullivan’s 2011 Moore Award voting, Dan Savage must be very content that his Man-on-Dog candidate came so close behind the Mormon.

  30. 30.

    Nate

    I have it on good authority that catholic.org led this morning with “Santorum comes from behind”.

    Which is really un-selfaware in a way that only an organization that covers up pedophilia can achieve.

  31. 31.

    Elias

    Nate, Catholic.org still has “Santorum comes from behind” up.

    Also too, “Romney, Santorum on top” (CNN)
    “Santorum benefits from evangelical surge” (CNN)
    “McCain backs Romney after Santorum’s surge” (NYT)
    “Santorum, the morning after” (WaPo)

  32. 32.

    suthrnboy

    Chicago Tonight chose to go with “Santorum gains steam.” I was extremely proud of them!

  33. 33.

    Dick Cheney

    Tim F.,
    I’m the guy who filled out those fake ballots and killed your perfect record. You didn’t think we were counting the ballots at my undisclosed location because we thought the establishment candidate was going to win, did you?

    Go Santorum yourself.

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