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You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2012 / “Santorum, That’s Latin for Asshole”

“Santorum, That’s Latin for Asshole”

by Anne Laurie|  January 6, 201210:59 pm| 120 Comments

This post is in: Election 2012, Excellent Links, Republican Stupidity, Assholes

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Thanks to commentor Yevgraf for linking this 2003 Jeffrey St. Clair article that quotes more of Santorum’s infamous Man-on-Dog theo-pathology:

Rick Santorum had only been in the senate for a few weeks when Bob Kerrey, then Senator from Nebraska, pegged him. “Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole.” It was probably the funniest line the grim Kerrey ever uttered and it was on the mark, too.
__
Such a stew of sleazy self-righteousness and audacious stupidity has not been seen in the senate since the days of Steve Symms, the celebrated moron from Idaho. In 1998, investigative reporter Ken Silverstein fingered Santorum as the dumbest member of congress in a story for The Progressive. Considering the competition, that’s an achievement of considerable distinction…
__
Santorum is the self-anointed prophet of family values on the Hill, who issues frequent jeremiads on the threats Hollywood fare poses to the “fabric of American culture.” Of course, these sermons are hard to swallow from a man with Santorum’s resume. After all, before entering Congress Santorum worked as a lobbyist. His top client? The World Wrestling Federation…
__
So it came to pass that on April 7, Santorum sat down for an interview with AP reporter Lara Jordan… After a brisk discussion of the degeneracy of American culture, the interview turned to the subject of the pending Supreme Court case on sodomy laws. Like most religious zealots, Santorum is obsessed not just with homosexuals but with visualizing the postures and physical mechanics of homosexual love. He seized on her question with an enthusiasm many Republicans reserve for discussions of the tax code…
__
AP: OK, without being too gory or graphic, so if somebody is homosexual, you would argue that they should not have sex?
__
SANTORUM: We have laws in states, like the one at the Supreme Court right now, that [have] sodomy laws and they were there for a purpose. Because, again, I would argue, they undermine the basic tenets of our society and the family. And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn’t exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution, this right that was created, it was created in Griswold – Griswold was the contraceptive case – and abortion. And now we’re just extending it out. And the further you extend it out, the more you – this freedom actually intervenes and affects the family. You say, well, it’s my individual freedom. Yes, but it destroys the basic unit of our society because it condones behavior that’s antithetical to strong, healthy families. Whether it’s polygamy, whether it’s adultery, where it’s sodomy, all of those things, are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family.
__
“Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that’s what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality . . .”
__
At this point, even the unnerved reporter tried to rein in Santorum. “I’m sorry,” Jordan interjected. “I didn’t think I was going to talk about ‘man on dog’ with a United States senator, it’s sort of freaking me out.”
__
But the man was on a roll and there was no stopping him. “And that’s sort of where we are in today’s world, unfortunately,” Santorum said. “The idea is that the state doesn’t have rights to limit individuals’ wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desire. And we’re seeing it in our society.”

“We” — as in, The Government, but not the individuals under that government — “absolutely have rights… to limit individuals’ wants”? That wouldn’t sound so good even in the original German. Seriously, I think the ‘man on dog’ paragraph is the one that got repeated so often because it’s the least creepy part of Santorum’s little rant. I don’t even wanna think about what’s going to come out once his unfortunate offspring are old enough to write their own memoirs.

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120Comments

  1. 1.

    MikeJ

    January 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    And the further you extend it out, the more you – this freedom actually intervenes and affects the family. You say, well, it’s my individual freedom. Yes, but it destroys the basic unit of our society because it condones behavior that’s antithetical to strong, healthy families.

    He’s fine with limiting sexual freedom. Howzabout economic freedom, like usury (actually defined in the bible as the charging of *any* interest, not just “excessive”).

    I’d have a lot more respect for him as the gopod fearin’ candidate if he came out and told the republican primary voters that charging interest is evil and should be outlawed.

  2. 2.

    eemom

    January 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    syn. sickus fuckus

  3. 3.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Seeing that Santorum is actually, like most “Christians” nowadays, a Mammon worshiper, not a follower of Jesus, it will be a very chilly day in Hell before you get him to even contemplate restricting the charging of interest.

  4. 4.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    January 6, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. (Matthew 19:21)

    When will you sell your possessions, Mr Santorum? Should Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich sell their possessions?

  5. 5.

    chrome agnomen

    January 6, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    “ladies and gentlemen, your 2012 presidential candidates.”

  6. 6.

    chrome agnomen

    January 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    @eemom:

    that’s sihus fuhus

  7. 7.

    Mino

    January 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    Guess he never heard of Margaret Mead.

  8. 8.

    freelancer

    January 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    @chrome agnomen:

    Okay, I missed it. Somebody explain this, please. Rih?

  9. 9.

    MikeJ

    January 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    @freelancer: Santorum calimed he never talked about lazy black people, he was actually saying “blah”.

    blah:black::rih:rick

  10. 10.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    January 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    That link to The Progressive doesn’t work.

  11. 11.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    January 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    @freelancer:

    Blah is the new black.

  12. 12.

    freelancer

    January 6, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Jesuh chrih that’s ridicuh

  13. 13.

    newhavenguy

    January 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    Why doesn’t the frothy one just run for Pope, and be done with it?

    Dan Savage went too easy on him, IMHO.

  14. 14.

    gaz

    January 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    Whether it’s polygamy, whether it’s adultery, where it’s sodomy, all of those things, are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family

    Hey Rick, you know what’s even MORE harmful to “a healthy, stable, traditional family”?

    Destruction of the social safety net and tax cuts for the rich, also K-Street lobbyists.

    Hey, Rick? Fuck you!

    And God bless you. You sure as fuck need it!

  15. 15.

    Yevgraf

    January 6, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    FYWP – it killed a drunk, funny post.
    It was a hard week, my dog fell down the steps, he’s drugged with doggie pa!nkillers, I spent a fortune on xrays and laser massage, can’t figure out how to get him to use the ramp I bought today, he’s ancient and huge while losing it mentally and I’m hammered because I was afraid I was going to have to put him down yesterday.

    +9, goddammit.

  16. 16.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 6, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    @gaz: Me, I am an agnostic. My mother is religious in a polite way though and, when confronted by people like Santorum, I hope she is correct and my doubts and skepticism are wrong, because, if someone deserves the torments of hell, it is someone like Santorum.

  17. 17.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 6, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    Read that again

    Rick Santorum does not think adults have the right to mutually consenting sex in their own homes. Because apparently that is the same as a whole bunch of sex that doesn’t involve consent.

    Rick has some issues, for sure.

  18. 18.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    January 6, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    @Yevgraf: Tough times, tough times. With luck, your dog will give you a strong clue that it’s time. We had one that was “head pressing” — walking into walls and staying there. Diagnosed with a brain tumor. Another that one day just couldn’t stand up at all. Total musculoskeletal failure. Another with internal bleeding: cancer diagnosis.

    Without something crystal clear, you just soldier on and do the best you can.

  19. 19.

    gaz

    January 6, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, I was putting it out there because who the fuck else would do it, if not God?

    Mr. Santorum; Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

    (edited for cadence – poetic license! =) )

  20. 20.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 6, 2012 at 11:37 pm

    @Tlazolteotl: Nearly 800 years of Anglo-American law say that if something is happening in someone’s home it tends to be no one else’s fucking business.

  21. 21.

    John O

    January 6, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    @Yevgraf:

    Hang in there, Yevgraf. Sounds like a terrible week.

  22. 22.

    Yevgraf

    January 6, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    Yesterday afternoon, after all hell broke loose when one of the teens was bringing him up the steps, I caught up with everybody at the vet after they’d gotten him back on his feet. I looked at his face for those “I’m giving up, send me home” signs. He was scared, but he’s still got spark, and I silently promised to see to it he gets more time with his family

  23. 23.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 6, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    @gaz: I understand and I tend to be a forgiving person, but some people….

  24. 24.

    eemom

    January 6, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    This man just grosses me out. Honestly, much as I detest all the rest of them, there is something SO inherently disgusting about him, and his utterly fucked up and sicko obsession with the things he purports to deplore, that I frankly can’t even stand to be a member of the same species as him.

  25. 25.

    Nutella

    January 6, 2012 at 11:46 pm

    Speaking of dumb senators: The unremembered one-term senator from Virginia William L Scott was listed as ‘dumbest congressman’ by an obscure journal so he then called a press conference to refute it. The press conference made the national news, of course, and proved the obscure journal’s point.

    When he ran for the Senate in 1972 the sole and only good thing his campaign was able to come up with as a reason to vote for him was that he was on the same side as Nixon so everyone who voted for Nixon should vote for Scott, too.

  26. 26.

    Jebediah

    January 6, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    @Yevgraf:
    Sorry about your dog. I’ve got a big, aging dog who also seems to be losing his grip mentally a bit and also stumbles sometimes… Fingers crossed and hoping for the best for both of you. Hope the many drinks help – I usually head for some herb, myself.

  27. 27.

    eemom

    January 6, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    @gaz:

    Mr. Santorum; Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

    are you shittin me? Jesus takes a bath every time this scumbag mentions His name.

  28. 28.

    Donut

    January 6, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    What a profoundly fucked up human being.

    Now, please enjoy this sophomoric animation of Rih eating a blah, I mean, chocolate cone:

    http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2011/8/15/16/anigif_santorum-eating-icecream-23190-1313441999-6.gif

  29. 29.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    January 6, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    @eemom:

    Must make it damn hard for him to focus on Tim Tebow at critical moments.

  30. 30.

    Todd Dugdale

    January 6, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.

    You know, you can extend this “logic” out indefinitely to all kinds of crazy conclusions.

    If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to free speech, then you have the right to obscenity, you have the right to lie, you have the right to slander, you have the right to blasphemy. You have the right to do anything.

    Likewise, if alcohol is legal, you naturally have the right to shoot your children up with heroin, drive a semi while eating a fistful of ‘ludes, and show up for work high on peyote. It’s only logical.

    If the Supreme Court fails to force all citizens to attend an approved evangelical church every week, then we are basically allowing ritual Satanic human sacrifice of infants. You could do anything.

    If we don’t exterminate the insufficiently pious, we are asking God to destroy our country and our civilisation, which is antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family.

  31. 31.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 6, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    @Yevgraf: I have had one dog in my life and, despite the fact that he died in 1985, I can still be brought to tears over the guy. Drink your heart out.

    ETA: Movies, books, and music also bring me to tears. But before you accuse me of being some kind of softie, I have tough guy cred too. I can email Cole my credenza.

  32. 32.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 6, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, we shouldn’t give a pass to domestic violence, I hope that is not what you are arguing. But certainly consensual sexual acts should be nobody else’s business. Santorum is arguing 1) that privacy is not a right granted to American citizens in the Constitution, therefore Griswold manufactured a ‘right’ out of thin air, one that isn’t Constitutional and that should be overturned and that 2) consensual sex that he doesn’t approve of is exactly the same as criminal, non-consensual sexual acts such as child rape or fucking animals (which is not criminal in all states, mind you).

    What I am saying is that mistaking consensual acts for non-consensual ones….well that is what rapists and other psychopaths do.

  33. 33.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson: There is an upside to everything.

  34. 34.

    rob!

    January 6, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    There is just no way Santorum doesn’t have some history of hot-hot-hot gay sex in his past. No hetero guy is THIS interested in the innermost details of gay sex–given this much what-passes-for-thought to it–unless he’s desperately trying to bury/rationalize/scrub way some deep, deep secret.

    I have to think there’s some rent boy out there, just waiting in the wings to see if he actually lands the nomination. Then, if he does, watch out!

    Too bad it won’t happen.

  35. 35.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 6, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    @rob!: Well, there is this

  36. 36.

    some guy

    January 7, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Bob Kerrey, that’s Linear B for 20th Century Corporate Whores OutHustled by the New Kidz On The Block.

    so sadz, too badz

  37. 37.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:01 am

    @Tlazolteotl: No, I was not okaying domestic violence. I was pointing out a legal tradition. There are reasons to violate that tradition, DV being one, but general fear of “bad actions” is not on the list.

    ETA: I am one of those who does not believe that the fact a right is not specifically enumerated in the Constitution does not mean that it does not exist. Ain’t there an Amendment to that effect?

  38. 38.

    some guy

    January 7, 2012 at 12:02 am

    @eemom:

    Moron Mom sez what?

  39. 39.

    some guy

    January 7, 2012 at 12:04 am

    4th and 7, makes 13 yards, beautiful call

  40. 40.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:04 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Fair enough.

    I still think equating consensual acts with non-consensual acts is very creepy though.

  41. 41.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:10 am

    @Tlazolteotl: I don’t believe that I did that. If I created that implication, it was not intentional.

  42. 42.

    AA+ Bonds

    January 7, 2012 at 12:11 am

    Santorum is a sideshow, who cares

  43. 43.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:11 am

    @some guy: That was a helpful comment, now wasn’t it?

  44. 44.

    AA+ Bonds

    January 7, 2012 at 12:11 am

    Let’s talk about Mitt Romney’s Parisian houseboy, that’s a better story to talk about

  45. 45.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:12 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I am one of those who does not believe that the fact a right is not specifically enumerated in the Constitution does not mean that it does not exist.

    I agree! I am just pointing out that this is the argument that Santorum is making. I think it is pretty scary to contemplate. This is someone who thinks citizens have no rights except those expressly ‘permitted’

  46. 46.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:14 am

    @Tlazolteotl: Oh, that is one of the most frightening things about him. That crabbed view of rights is terrifying.

  47. 47.

    MattMinus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:

    It’s a well known fact of bible scholarship that all the stories in the bible that aren’t about killing fags are not to be taken literally.

  48. 48.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: No, no, sorry if I was not clear. I’m not saying YOU equated them, I’m saying Santorum did. And that, combined with the whole “you only get the rights we tell you” thing, is …. well, I would hope that it wouldn’t have broad appeal.

  49. 49.

    The Other Chuck

    January 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

    @rob!:

    The guy breeds prodigously with his wife, and I’m assuming they’re his kids, so he certainly seems to have time for the hetero stuff. But I’m still not so sure about the “in his past” part. No one is that obsessed day in and day out about gay sex without being interested in it, and someone in his position simply has to make a discrete phone call…

  50. 50.

    scarshapedstar

    January 7, 2012 at 12:17 am

    Rick Santorum had only been in the senate for a few weeks when Bob Kerrey, then Senator from Nebraska, pegged him.

    It’s Dan Savage’s world, Republicans just live in it.

  51. 51.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:17 am

    Anyway, sorry for hijacking the thread (I usually mostly lurk here).

    Have a nice night, everyone.

  52. 52.

    JGabriel

    January 7, 2012 at 12:18 am

    @gaz:

    Mr. Santorum, Jesus loves you …

    … but he’s still gonna knock over that moneychanger’s booth you’ve got in the temple, and then he’s gonna kick your motherfuckin’ ass all over the place.

    If he ever deigns to come down for a visit, that is.

    .

  53. 53.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    January 7, 2012 at 12:20 am

    @JGabriel:

    I hear he’s got tickets for the Tebow Superbowl…..

  54. 54.

    Jebediah

    January 7, 2012 at 12:22 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Movies, books, and music also bring me to tears.

    Yeah, I’ve got that condition too. It particularly irritates and embarrasses me when some utterly, transparently cheap schmaltz works its magic on me.
    But I’m not embarrassed a bit when memories of dogs who have passed on do it.

  55. 55.

    scarshapedstar

    January 7, 2012 at 12:23 am

    In 1998, investigative reporter Ken Silverstein fingered Santorum…

    Of course, these sermons are hard to swallow from a man with Santorum’s resume.

    This writer must have had a crystal ball, because this is awesome. It is indeed hard to swallow santorum (otherwise known as Ricking) after pegging and fingering.

  56. 56.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:23 am

    @Tlazolteotl: FWIW I found the discussion interesting. As far as I am concerned, everyone else fuck right off.

  57. 57.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    January 7, 2012 at 12:25 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    But what do I tell Eva Green?

  58. 58.

    Tlazolteotl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:25 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Heh. Thanks, perhaps I will delurk more often. :-)

    But I am whooped and really do need to get some sleep.

  59. 59.

    Nutella

    January 7, 2012 at 12:27 am

    @Tlazolteotl:

    In Santorum world

    EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY

    and

    EVERYTHING NOT COMPULSORY IS FORBIDDEN

    and we’ll all be like the ants in “The Once and Future King”.

  60. 60.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:29 am

    @Jebediah: I mentioned my tough guy cred, right? It is easier, I think for a person who looks like a tough guy to cry. I look, sound, and act like a preppy. The rugby, skiing, Army, jump school stuff sometimes seems to matter.

  61. 61.

    Calouste

    January 7, 2012 at 12:29 am

    @gaz:

    Mr. Santorum; Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you ’re come out of an asshole.

    FTFY, to give Dan Savage’s work it’s due.

  62. 62.

    gaz

    January 7, 2012 at 12:30 am

    OT: but holy FUCK!
    http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/top-walker-aide-two-others-charged-fe

    I knew this happened, but child enticement? a director for a Purple Heart foundation ripping $11,000 off from some kind of military charity? seriously?

    i’m pretty jaded by now – but this was just so…. my god…

    even for walker’s administration – still shocked me, just how blatant and twisted this whole thing was – on it’s face.

  63. 63.

    Jay

    January 7, 2012 at 12:31 am

    @some guy:

    I lost a ton of respect for Bob Kerrey following his repeated race – baiting of then – candidate Obama in 2008, but strategically, doesn’t Kerrey present the only chance Dems have to keep Ben Nelson’s Senate seat (Kerrey’s also a bit of a better vote than Nelson, opposed as he is to DOMA and the flag – burning amendment.)? The NE Dems’ bench isn’t very deep, is it? I wouldn’t be shocked if the national party’s given up.

  64. 64.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:31 am

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson: Give Her My Phone #! Duh!

  65. 65.

    Yutsano

    January 7, 2012 at 12:38 am

    @some guy: Mon Dieu that was moronic.

  66. 66.

    WaterGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:43 am

    @Yevgraf: So glad your dog is still with you. Sounds like you live by the same creed as I do – as long as they’re in it, I’m in it. When they say they’re done, that’s it, no matter how heartbreaking it is.

    I have some experience with the dog ramp thing. If it’s not wide enough, they won’t use it. We had to make a ramp ourselves so it would be wide enough, and so did a friend of mine years later when she needed a ramp.

    Also, what is the ramp made out of? If it has an odd feel, or if they can’t get good traction, they may not want to use it. Mine was made out of wood with astroturf and my friend used carpeting on hers – that way they don’t slip.

    Best of luck to all of you. Every day is a gift.

  67. 67.

    KG

    January 7, 2012 at 12:43 am

    The problem that Santorum and so many others on the right have is with an understanding of common law and the role of courts. I’d argue that the Ninth and Tenth Amendments essentially preserved the role of the courts in defining rights… And that’s key, common law courts didn’t “create” rights, they recognized them through facts, analysis, experience, and the application of reason.

  68. 68.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 12:45 am

    @KG: Bingo. The Constitution does not grant rights. It recognizes them.

  69. 69.

    WaterGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:51 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: What about commercials? There was a commercial years ago – for puppy chow or something – where you saw the pup bounding up the steps and then you saw him as an old dog, moving slowly but still beloved. Made me cry every time! In fact, I started tearing up when I started describing the commercial.

  70. 70.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 7, 2012 at 12:58 am

    @KG:

    And that’s key, common law courts didn’t “create” rights, they recognized them through facts, analysis, experience, and the application of reason.

    Well, there’s your problem, right there. All the bolded things have a liberal bias.

  71. 71.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 1:04 am

    @WaterGirl: Yeah, that would kill me.

  72. 72.

    Xenos

    January 7, 2012 at 1:16 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: What the public does not recognize is the the right of privacy derives from a long line of cases finding fundamental rights of families to live as they see fit. Santorum’s arguments eventually undermine such basic rights as the ability to teach your children the language of your choice. This has more to do with enforcing social conformity than with any sort of public morality.

    Even if you are in favor of fundamentalist, patriarchal marriage, the Santorum position would severely limit the ability of patriarchs to look out for the health and well being of their wives and children.

  73. 73.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 1:21 am

    @Xenos: I do not agree in ANY way with Santorum’s views.

  74. 74.

    Richard

    January 7, 2012 at 1:26 am

    Santorum’s “man on dog” comment is the kind of rhetoric that justifies concentration camps. By equating homosexuals with animals, he’s setting the stage for them to be treated as less than human.

  75. 75.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    January 7, 2012 at 1:26 am

    Meanwhile north of the US border, we passed the 44th anniversary of Trudeau’s famous comment “There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.” In 1967 also moving for the decriminalization of homosexuality by adding “what’s done in private between adults doesn’t concern the Criminal Code.”

    http://archives.cbc.ca/politics/rights_freedoms/topics/538/

    So yes, Mr. Santorum I hope your rent boy comes out and shares all the details — and Mrs. Santorum will learn that for all these years she’s missed out on hot action other than two grunt missionary sex (for which she must be punished!)

    Is Santorum a member of Opus Dei?

  76. 76.

    BruceFromOhio

    January 7, 2012 at 1:33 am

    “Learn the secret even Ron Paul won’t talk about”

    They found my underwear drawer!

    A bit of digging on Ricky and the “K Street Project“, DeLay (remember him?) and what a fucking soulless two-bit ratfuck Republican he really is, so much so that Pennsylvanians kicked his ass to the curb, and you can ready a fork to turn him over …. yes, he’s done.

  77. 77.

    Anne Laurie

    January 7, 2012 at 1:41 am

    @Yevgraf: Don’t blame you for getting hammered. Watergirl’s tips are good — the ramp needs to feel “secure” when your old boy steps on it, which means sturdy & un-slippery, even if that involves reinforcing it to a ridiculous degree so it won’t flex & covering it with astroturf/carpeting/no-slip safety matting, or the paint they use around pools. And the ramp should be as wide as you can make it — as wide again as his shoulders, if there’s space — because he probably can’t see his own feet any more and right now he’s got good reason to be suspicious of that whole “gravity” trap. The third trick is to add solid “railings”, turn it into a chute instead of a ramp, at least until he’s got some practice and isn’t afraid of falling off the sides. (The railings don’t have to be sturdy, bright-colored temp netting works find, the point is that he needs to see, or at least feel with his paw, that he can’t step off either side by accident.)

    Walking up the ramp is easier than down, so work on that first. Some dogs will creep up the dangerous, scary ramp if you put out a line of delicious treats, the really good stuff, bits of hot dog or cheese or cubed chicken if the regular biscuits don’t work. If he has a special very significant toy that he adores, that might work as a lure.

    Good luck, and here’s hoping you & your old dog both feel better soon!

  78. 78.

    Xenos

    January 7, 2012 at 1:44 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: I am sure that you don’t… that was more of a hypothetical. Even from the most reactionary position regarding gender politics, the Santorum/Catholic position should be unacceptable.

    I am currently living in an officially Catholic monarchy. There are restrictions on second term abortions, there was a constitutional crisis when the monarch refused to sign a right-to-die bill from parliament (which ended up not being made law), and unlike most of the countries in the region gay marriage is not recognized. But Santorum’s arguments about privacy and birth control would put him utterly beyond the pale here. He would be labeled as a fascist and would be systematically ostracized, even by the Catholic Church itself.

  79. 79.

    Cassidy

    January 7, 2012 at 1:48 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: PS I love you makes me cry. It also makes me cringe as we watch knowing that a)I’m nowhere near as good looking as Gerard Butler and b)I don’t have a team of writers coming up with witty things to say.

    @eemom: I’m stealing this.

  80. 80.

    wasabi gasp

    January 7, 2012 at 1:49 am

    Dude’s fucking holesome.

  81. 81.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 7, 2012 at 1:49 am

    @Xenos: Look at my later comments. I do not in any way subscribe to Santorum’s views.

  82. 82.

    Little Boots

    January 7, 2012 at 2:00 am

    Freedom. Oh, how they love to talk about freedom. but they can’t stand it. never. not the tiniest bit. if santorum could wipe freedom from the face of the earth he would.

    they make me laugh.

    cause they can’t stop it. it keeps happening. and it drives them crazy.

  83. 83.

    Xenos

    January 7, 2012 at 2:05 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Dude, slow down and read. I did not mean to suggest that you did. Next time I will use ‘one’ instead of ‘you’ in my hypothetical, even if it makes one sound like a pompous ass.

  84. 84.

    Cassidy

    January 7, 2012 at 2:07 am

    @Yevgraf: Sorry about your dog.

  85. 85.

    Xenos

    January 7, 2012 at 2:08 am

    As a side issue, wasn’t it Wisconsin that generated the first substantive due process cases when it outlawed teaching children the German language in the 1920s? These privacy/conformity issues cover a lot more than sexual rights.

  86. 86.

    Cassidy

    January 7, 2012 at 2:10 am

    Question for the late shift: anyone here own kettlebells? Any recommendations?

    I’ve used them before; I’ve just always had a gym to go to. Now I find myself doing PT late at night and thinking about buying KB to add into my rotation. Just wondering about comfort, durability, control, etc. Basically I’m alternating circuits and intervals and was thinking of making it a 3 day rotation (adding in a KB circuit) for strength/conditioning. I hate lifting free weights, anyway.

  87. 87.

    Jebediah

    January 7, 2012 at 2:34 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I mentioned my tough guy cred, right?

    You don’t need to. Res ipsa loquitur.

    (Did I use that correctly?)

  88. 88.

    Death Panel Truck

    January 7, 2012 at 2:56 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I have had one dog in my life and, despite the fact that he died in 1985, I can still be brought to tears over the guy.

    I had a cockatiel for 14 years. Her name was Simone, and she was my buddy. She stood on my shoulder every day of those 14 years. She could put away more Tillamook cheddar or spaghetti at one sitting than some people I know. She was eight years old when I got her. She died in August 2009 at 22. I can tear up sometimes just by looking at a picture of her. I think maybe it’s because I feel like I might have caused her death. For the first five years I had her, I smoked, so she was exposed to a lot of cigarette smoke. The last couple of weeks she showed signs of respiratory problems, and the last few days she was gasping for breath. I knew I had to have her euthanized, but I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t let her go. When I saw that I had no choice, I took her to the vet. They put me in a back room (so I could go out the back door afterward), and allowed me a few moments to say goodbye to her. I had her in a shoebox lined with cedar bedding. Before the technician came in to do the procedure, Simone died right in front of me. It was the weirdest thing – she just deflated, like a balloon. If I were a spiritual person, I’d think maybe it was her soul escaping from her body. I was 46 years old, and I cried like a baby. The technician removed her tail feathers for me, and packaged her so I could take her home for burial.

    If her death was my fault, I hope she forgave me.

    +5.

  89. 89.

    Mark S.

    January 7, 2012 at 3:14 am

    It’s not a very long article, but here’s another bone crushingly stupid statement from Santorum:

    While in serving in the House, Santorum was asked by a reporter to explain why his record on environmental policy was so dreadful. Santorum replied by observing that the environment was of little consequence in God’s grand plan. “Nowhere in the Bible does it say that America will be here 100 years from now.”

    I didn’t think the Bible said anything at all about America. Does that mean we even exist?

  90. 90.

    Beth in OR

    January 7, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Last time god was here the place was a garden. Man, is he gonna be pissed.

    It took until tonight for me to realize none of these creatures intend to win. They’re just making money off the corps. Wonder if they have to tithe to the GOP? Grifters. Every last one of them.

  91. 91.

    Yutsano

    January 7, 2012 at 3:44 am

    @Mark S.:

    I didn’t think the Bible said anything at all about America.

    I think it’s in the same chapter with Jesus riding dinosaurs.

  92. 92.

    Ian

    January 7, 2012 at 4:50 am

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:
    Now I know why all of us in Colorado will be crying Sunday. Jesus will be too busy stopping Rih to help bring down the Stillers.

  93. 93.

    01010101

    January 7, 2012 at 5:42 am

    No thinking American should support Santorum but at least he’s not a Romneyoid, and doesn’t have his zombie-bimbo aka Annie Star-receptacle shillin’ for him

  94. 94.

    isildur

    January 7, 2012 at 6:44 am

    @Yevgraf: same thing happened to me with my big, dumb dog a few years ago. She fell down the stairs, we paid through the nose for x-rays, etc.

    She was around for quite a while after that (though she had to use a giant doggie wheelchair to go for walks).

    The way we looked at it, all she ever actually wanted to do was sit around with her people and eat and sleep and poop. Her back injury didn’t really get in the way of her lifestyle much.

  95. 95.

    jon

    January 7, 2012 at 7:42 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I am one of those who does not believe that the fact a right is not specifically enumerated in the Constitution does not mean that it does not exist. Ain’t there an Amendment to that effect?

    That would be the Ninth Amendment. It must be quite frustrating for those who say “That right’s not in the Constitution” when there’s an Amendment right in there that says, “The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.”

    A right to privacy? The Constitution only limits what the government can do. There isn’t much on what it can do.

    Conservatives have it backwards: the question shouldn’t be “Where does that right appear in the Constitution?” but “Where does the Constitution allow the government to regulate that?”

  96. 96.

    JoyfulA

    January 7, 2012 at 8:04 am

    @Jay: For a Democratic senator from Nebraska, why couldn’t we run Warren Buffett?

  97. 97.

    kdaug

    January 7, 2012 at 8:05 am

    @Yevgraf:

    Fuck.

    My humble advice: Cradle his head in your lap as long as you can. Give him his favorite treats, as many as he wants.

    This shit is never easy.

    But give him a “Good Boy!” for me.

    I could never be a vet.

  98. 98.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    January 7, 2012 at 8:08 am

    @Cassidy: I find Kettle Bell exercises are for your legs, back and core. Of course, that might be because the dude at my gym has me hold one low in front of me while squatting, explode upward to vertical while raising the bell above my head. Then control it down back into a squat, rinse and repeat. The bell is light because he wants me to lift it and lift my body rather than cheat with momentum and gravity.

  99. 99.

    DanielX

    January 7, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Purely out of curiosity, does anyone know if Santorum is a member of Opus Dei?

  100. 100.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 8:22 am

    @Yevgraf: You might want to google up “big dog Mobility Harness” to see if that might help. There are ones that go around the chest, and others designed to get the hindquarters up steps, depending on what they need help with most.

    If there is any kind of nerve troubles, it can help to add coconut oil (unrefined) to their diet. It will help with the dementia, too! Our old kitty perked up when we added this to his regimen.

    Good luck! I hope he bounces back.

  101. 101.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 8:29 am

    @DanielX: Don’t be put off by this lady declaring she has thrown away her birth control for God. It seems like a well researched article.

    Rick Santorum and the Skeletons in His Closet

    Short version: he says No but there’s Yes, Yes in his eyes. He’s also a member of “The Family” like Ensign.

  102. 102.

    WaterGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 9:54 am

    @Death Panel Truck: They ALWAYS forgive us.

  103. 103.

    Paula

    January 7, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Santorum seems cooky, and therefore he is easily dismissed. But think about what he is saying: You Have No Right To Privacy! The Supreme Court has held that while the RTP is not explicit in the constitution it is implicit.

    Mr. Santorum, when challenged on gay marriage sets up a straw man argument: what about three ppl, is it okay for three or four ppl to marry? (I have no issue with polygamy, and neither did God according to the bible, which makes me want to ask Santorum what other parts of the bible does he believe that God got wrong).

    So, my question to Mr. Santorum is when do I have a RTP? This is an important question because it is a slippery slope.

  104. 104.

    Triassic Sands

    January 7, 2012 at 10:09 am

    And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery.

    Once again Santorum confuses things that are illegal (for good reason) and things that he merely disapproves of (for religious reasons). I’m not going to argue that adultery is a positive thing (in general), but it certainly doesn’t belong in the same sentence with incest. I’m not sure why Santorum left out polyandry unless, being the paternalist that he is, he can’t even imagine the concept. But if bigamy and polygamy are bad, I’d have to think that Santorum would find polyandry orders of magnitude worse.

    Santorum is the kind of guy who thinks our laws all come from the Ten Commandments, when, in fact, most of the commandments have little or nothing to do with our actual laws. Not killing and not stealing are such fundamental tenets of a civilized society that we hardly needed the Decalogue to proscribe them. Blue laws, most of which fell to the greater god — capitalism — are fairly rare today. And that pretty much does it for the Ten Commandments as the basis for our legal system. Coveting is not only not illegal, it is at the root of advertizing and consumerism.

  105. 105.

    YellowJournalism

    January 7, 2012 at 10:42 am

    If the purpose of marriage, according to Santorum, is the creation of children, then why wouldn’t he be an advocate for polygamy? And when foes he outlaw sex among the sterile and menopausal?

  106. 106.

    gelfling545

    January 7, 2012 at 10:51 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Actually, it is Santorum who does that.

  107. 107.

    gelfling545

    January 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

    @Death Panel Truck: I think you can forgive yourself a little here. I am acquainted with a rescued cockatiel who lived for the first years of her life in an environment where people were smoking crack & other assorted smokable products. She is a fine, healthy bird today. These little creatures are tough!

  108. 108.

    Peregrinus

    January 7, 2012 at 11:41 am

    I told my Latin students (the more advanced class, anyway) about this quote. Explained the context and everything – we occasionally have political debates in there.

    Funny moment, right up until they asked if it really was. Then it was just a straight facepalm.

  109. 109.

    Greyjoy

    January 7, 2012 at 11:42 am

    @Yevgraf – It’s tough to go through that with a pet. When my now-late cat Casey was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, it was about 20 months before he shuffled off this mortal coil. He had a few severe attacks that required vet visits and painkillers and special feeding, but for the rest of the time he was as cheerful and happy as ever, if not particularly playful. When we got to the 15-month point, it was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to recover and at that point I started spoiling the holy bejesus out of him: tons of toys, treats, cuddles, you name it–and I also took a lot of pictures and even some video.

    Eventually the final day did come and it was obvious when it did (he couldn’t climb stairs anymore, could’t get onto even low furniture, had trouble making it to the litterbox on time, slept most of the day, etc.). But he went out a happy cat (literally purring until the last second) and knowing that made things a lot easier on me.

    You very well may have years left with your dog, but either way, once you get the hangover out of the way, do all the things you know he would love and don’t feel silly about it. You’ll create a lot of great memories and when the inevitable day does come, you’ll have all those pictures and/or videos to remember what a great pet he is.

  110. 110.

    stevestory

    January 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    @gaz: Me, I am an agnostic. My mother is religious in a polite way though and, when confronted by people like Santorum, I hope she is correct and my doubts and skepticism are wrong, because, if someone deserves the torments of hell, it is someone like Santorum.

    nah, nobody deserves that. I wouldn’t wish the god of the bible on my worst enemy.

  111. 111.

    stevestory

    January 7, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    like hitchens said, eternal torment? even kim jong il could only torture you til you were dead.

  112. 112.

    stevestory

    January 7, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    if two guys screwing in a split-level in pasadena can directly damage your relationships with your spouse and children, you’ve got some world-record shitty bonds in your life, and you need to be focusing on those.

  113. 113.

    nastybrutishntall

    January 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    @Yevgraf: find a vet acupuncturist. seriously. works wonders for any kind of sprain / arthritis / chronic pain on pets.

  114. 114.

    Nutella

    January 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    @DanielX:

    He says no but he is very cosy with Opus Dei.

  115. 115.

    Ruckus

    January 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    @eemom:
    Jesus is probably thinking to hisself, “What the fuck did I ever do to deserve people like man on dog?”

  116. 116.

    Triassic Sands

    January 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    “Santorum, that’s Latin for asshole.”

    One asshole calling another (albeit bigger) asshole an asshole. There are just too many assholes in politics.

  117. 117.

    Tonal Crow

    January 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    @Todd Dugdale: You need better examples.

    If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to free speech, then you have the right to obscenity,

    Not at present.

    you have the right to lie

    You generally do. And even to broadcast those lies on cable TV. There are only a few rather tightly-circumscribed exceptions to the 1st Amendment protection of lying, such as perjury, defamation, and the like.

    , you have the right to slander,

    No, see above.

    you have the right to blasphemy.

    Absolutely. And why the mother-of-GOP not?

  118. 118.

    Jebediah

    January 7, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    @WereBear:

    If there is any kind of nerve troubles, it can help to add coconut oil (unrefined) to their diet. It will help with the dementia, too! Our old kitty perked up when we added this to his regimen.

    I’d like to try that with my big old boy… any idea on the appropriate amount? I don’t want to give him too little to have an effect, but I don’t want to over do it either.

  119. 119.

    Alan Darden

    January 11, 2012 at 11:04 am

    I am asking every person to send Mr. Santorum a stick of stain fighter or box of detergent. Let him know he is not a thinker, he is a stain, a brain shart. No uninsured people in America, birth control illegal and gay sex equals having a romp in the barn with an animal….well maybe on his grandpappy’s farm. Let that filth know what you think and send him a box of Tide.

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