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You are here: Home / The Gift That Just Keeps On Giving

The Gift That Just Keeps On Giving

by $8 blue check mistermix|  January 7, 20129:10 am| 81 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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More wisdom from Rick Santorum:

For the second time in as many days, Rick Santorum waded into the issue of gay marriage, suggesting it was so important for children to have both a father and mother that an imprisoned father was preferable to a same-sex parent.

Would it be better to be molested by a straight parent than raised by a gay one? How about getting punched in the face regularly by your straight dad — is that better than having two gay dads?

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81Comments

  1. 1.

    MattF

    January 7, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Charlie Pierce has a useful reminder about Santorum’s contribution to the Schiavo debacle:

    http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/rick-santorum-terri-schiavo-6633360

    Read it, because it’s worse than you remember.

  2. 2.

    Brian R.

    January 7, 2012 at 9:15 am

    You know, usually when a conservative is this up in arms about the gays, it turns out they’re repressing something in themselves.

  3. 3.

    Linda Featheringill

    January 7, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Would it be better to be molested by a straight parent than raised by a gay one? How about getting punched in the face regularly by your straight dad—is that better than having two gay dads?

    Assholes come in all flavors and since most Dads are heterosexual, most abusive fathers are hetero.

    Yes, I think that the majority of heteros are nice guys but I also think that most gays are nice guys, too.

    Parenting is a skill and a virtue, to be learned and worked at.

  4. 4.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Rih takes “protesting too much” to a whole new level of repression.

  5. 5.

    Linda Featheringill

    January 7, 2012 at 9:28 am

    @Brian R.:

    You know, usually when a conservative is this up in arms about the gays, it turns out they’re repressing something in themselves.

    I agree. Freud would too, if he were still alive.

    However, Santorum doesn’t set off my usually active gaydar. I’m sure he has a secret shame and it’s probably sexual but I don’t think that lusting after guys is it. I think he jumps on gays with relief. “Thank God this is one sin I don’t have and so I can talk about it.”

  6. 6.

    Sir Nose'D

    January 7, 2012 at 9:33 am

    How about getting punched in the face regularly by your straight dad—is that better than having two gay dads?

    The punching dad is the better choice. Not to sound homophobic or anything, but teh ghey is a greater threat to civilization than full-scale nuclear war coupled with climate change, an airborne strain of ebola more contagious than measles, giant asteroids crashing into the Earth, and Yellowstone erupting all at the same time!

  7. 7.

    SFAW

    January 7, 2012 at 9:38 am

    I think he jumps on gays with relief.

    In a manner of speaking, of course.

  8. 8.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    January 7, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Yeesh. It just gets worse. So at this point, you know about him and I know about him. How do we get the non-27% aware of what his views really are?

  9. 9.

    Triassic Sands

    January 7, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Rick Santorum has zero chance of winning the Republican presidential nomination. Not only is Santorum a sick and twisted homophobe, he’s even too sick and twisted for the majority of Republicans. His focus on these issues in his campaign is all about his own psychosis and has nothign to do with what is good for the country or what the country needs.

    I’m afraid if an aggressive questioner asked Santorum to rank priorities for the US, his first ten or more would all have to do with sexual issues. He must have had one screwed up childhood.

    Which is more important, Rick, gay marriage or climate change?

    Which is more important, Rick, corrupt bankers or two women kissing?

    Santorum is not your every day, run-of-the-mill Republican thug. Unlike his fellow candidates, he isn’t simply a bad person dressed in expensive clothing advocating for the rights of the rich over all else. Nope, Rick, needs psychiatric help. Instead of four years in the White House, I’d suggest a lengthy stay in a mental facility that specializes in sexual deviance.

  10. 10.

    aimai

    January 7, 2012 at 9:42 am

    @Linda Featheringill:

    I agree with Linda Feathergill–I get the same vibe from Santorum (thank you Savage for making me wince a little as I wrote that sentence!). Homophobia and other strong Christian hates often seems as tied up with the impossibility of being “not a sinner in the hands of an angry god” as it does with secretly craving that sin. There’s more going on with Santorum than anti-gay stuff, as well. He’s mostly really desperately pro patriarchy. It is the rights of biological fathers and dominators that need to be preserved against the depredations of all “alternate” lifestyles and alternate forms of pleasure and solidarity. He’s as against unmarried heterosexual couples as he is against gay men.

    aimai

  11. 11.

    SFAW

    January 7, 2012 at 9:43 am

    The punching dad is the better choice. Not to sound homophobic or anything, but teh ghey is a greater threat to civilization than full-scale nuclear war coupled with climate change, an airborne strain of ebola more contagious than measles, giant asteroids crashing into the Earth, and Yellowstone erupting all at the same time!

    I am glad SOMEONE finally had the guts to say this!

    I think there’s a place for you in Karl Rove’s latest Super-Dee-Duper PAC. And, who knows, maybe Mittens will choose you as a running mate!

    Only thing(s) you forgot: Zombies! And Lieberals! And Zombie Lieberals!!

    But that in no way detracts from your point, of course.

  12. 12.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    January 7, 2012 at 9:46 am

    @Brian R.: You know, usually when a conservative is this up in arms about the gays, it turns out they’re repressing something in themselves.

    …

    @Linda Featheringill: However, Santorum doesn’t set off my usually active gaydar.

    I’m inclined to agree. There’s no doubt Santorum’s anti-gay zealotry isn’t just “party like it’s the 2004 election”, it’s based on something gnawing on whatever he uses for a soul. I don’t want to know what it is, but I don’t think it’s that he’s gay himself. I do think that he fears that he might be, though.

  13. 13.

    Sir Nose'D

    January 7, 2012 at 9:46 am

    @SFAW:

    Only thing(s) you forgot: Zombies! And Lieberals! And Zombie Lieberals!!

    How could I have forgotten? I guess I need a second cup of coffee.

  14. 14.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 9:48 am

    @Triassic Sands: And I found out today his dad was a shrink!

    Lawdee.

  15. 15.

    MattF

    January 7, 2012 at 9:48 am

    @Xecky Gilchrist: Yeah, that slope sure is slippery.

  16. 16.

    SFAW

    January 7, 2012 at 9:48 am

    There’s more going on with Santorum than anti-gay stuff, as well. He’s mostly really desperately pro patriarchy.

    Whenever he gets frustrated (in a non-sexual, manly-man sort of way), he thinks about Gilead, and what he can do to bring it about. And then his psychological batteries get recharged, and he’s ready to fight even harder against the scourges of unapproved sex, women who are not property, and the Satanic ethos known as Lieberalism.

  17. 17.

    cathyx

    January 7, 2012 at 9:48 am

    His hate of Social Security will keep him out of the race as well.

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j7O34Bpp42k-IlMMNiOLBkYF2zNw?docId=b1cff9ecefe24ca6ae1764a09761e361

  18. 18.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 9:51 am

    @Xecky Gilchrist: I don’t want to know what it is, but I don’t think it’s that he’s gay himself. I do think that he fears that he might be, though.

    There’s such a thing as so deep in the closet you don’t know you really are gay. To me, nobody brings up gay sex so freakin’ much, and in such a freaky way, unless they are really really really preoccupied with it. To me, that indicates a primal drive (sex) being activated… and then beaten down with hammers (because he’ll go to hell.)

    This is one messed up fella and you don’t just get that way. It has to be developed.

  19. 19.

    SFAW

    January 7, 2012 at 9:52 am

    And I found out today his dad was a shrink!

    Some of the most fucked-up kids and adults I knew/know had one or more parents in the field.

    Possible explanations: anti-parental rebellion; the cobbler’s kids going barefoot; the parent(s) is/are fucked-up, too (even though in the practice), and the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    January 7, 2012 at 9:54 am

    I wonder if Santorum was possibly molested by a priest during his youth.

    And liked it.

    It meant he was sought out and blessed as special by the hierarchical, authoritarian, patriarchal Church he worshipped.

    Just a guess.

  21. 21.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    January 7, 2012 at 9:55 am

    @cathyx: His hate of Social Security will keep him out of the race as well.

    That is heavy-gauge stupid for a man who wants to run at the head of the party that relies heavily on senior citizens’ votes.

    If we’re lucky, maybe Santorum can become the Republicans’ Sister Souljah.

  22. 22.

    scav

    January 7, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Combine acceptance of violence, defense of patriarchy, thwarted sexual fears, mix, and I get a late-breaking campaign theme song: The Masochism Tango.

  23. 23.

    Elizabelle

    January 7, 2012 at 9:58 am

    @SFAW:

    There are a lot of talented, altruistic mental health professionals.

    There are also some who go into the field desperately seeking to heal themselves. Perhaps from something that won’t heal. A void.

    The most passive aggressive fiend I ever worked with had a psychiatrist as a father.

  24. 24.

    SFAW

    January 7, 2012 at 10:04 am

    There are a lot of talented, altruistic mental health professionals.

    I agree.

    But, as you later note, not all of them.

  25. 25.

    WaterGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Sadly, I think Santorum would answer “yes” to both of those questions. Better to be molested and/or abused than to have two parents of the same gender.

  26. 26.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 10:07 am

    @Elizabelle: Durn, that makes a lot of sense. Reminds me of the way abused children suck up to the dangerous parent.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

    It isn’t just gay sex that terrifies Santorum. He seem to be frightened of sex for anything but reproduction, and even then, you’re not supposed to like it. You’re supposed to endure it. He’s like Carrie’s mother, so ashamed that she felt pleasure when she had sex with Carrie’s father to conceive her.

  28. 28.

    scav

    January 7, 2012 at 10:16 am

    You can also get into a state where the more you’re beat up, the more right and/or holy you are. Justification through persecution. Fink, I’m picking up the same smell again. Idiot will give bottoms and/or gheys a bad name, after trashing the reputations of the religious, the male gender and the human species.

  29. 29.

    Chris

    January 7, 2012 at 10:16 am

    @Linda Featheringill:

    However, Santorum doesn’t set off my usually active gaydar. I’m sure he has a secret shame and it’s probably sexual but I don’t think that lusting after guys is it. I think he jumps on gays with relief. “Thank God this is one sin I don’t have and so I can talk about it.”

    Pretty sure that explains most of the appeal of homophobia in the religious right. It’s a cheap way to demonstrate their own moral purity, moving heaven and earth to pursue and crucify a “sin” that most of them will never have to wrestle with themselves.

    Now ask them how many of them would be willing to make divorce illegal, and watch how many of them squirm uncomfortably – because even if they’re not planning to do it, it’s the sort of “sin” they could see themselves “having” to commit at some point in the future.

  30. 30.

    rob!

    January 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

    I kinda feel sorry for Mrs. Santorum. A guy who so fervently believes sex is only for procreation is NOT someone who has any interest in finding the little man in the boat.

    I’m betting the Mrs. spends A LOT of time looking at porn while Rick is out campaigning.

  31. 31.

    Mudge

    January 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

    I wonder who the Log Cabin Republicans are backing this time. If they still exist.

  32. 32.

    Davis X. Machina

    January 7, 2012 at 10:20 am

    People don’t necessarily think when they vote, especially for president, and even when they think they’re thinking, they’re wrong about what they’re thinking. A third of the electorate goes into the voting booth — and it’s not a behavior restricted to the right — to choose a monarch.

    Not an administrator-monarch like Frederick the Great, either. They’re looking for a sacral king, a ruler to mediate relations between heaven and earth, observe the pax deorum, and receive the Mandate of Heaven.

    Choose correctly, and it guarantees that the ewes will lamb, the cows will calve, and the corn will be heavy in the ear. Otherwise, drought, famine, and war.

    For that kind of voter, in the Republican primary, Santorum’s the obvious choice.

  33. 33.

    YellowJournalism

    January 7, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I tend to agree with those who think that Santorum isn’t just your run-of-the-mill closeted homophobe. There’s something more there, something so deviant that Troy McClure would say, “That guy needs help.”

  34. 34.

    scav

    January 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

    @Davis X. Machina: Hard to avoid judging someone by the company they keep. I just Don’t Know about his God fellow.

    ETA: Runs in a bad crowd.

  35. 35.

    B W Smith

    January 7, 2012 at 10:24 am

    @Elizabelle: I think that is very perceptive. In light of the fact that more than once he has blamed the scandal on the sickness of Boston society and therefore liberals, that could definitely be a possibility. I find it strange that he only holds liberals responsible for the Church’s failure to stop the ongoing crimes and particularly picks Boston, when the scandal has been proven to be worldwide and spanning decades.

    Rih will never be president, the Romney machine has too much ammunition with which to crush him. Beyond his weird sexual preoccupation and the Schiavo thing, the guy has multiple other scandals waiting to be exposed. His K street connection, his involvement with Abramoff, his home loan, his heads-up to Ensign in the affair scandal are only a few.

  36. 36.

    Davis X. Machina

    January 7, 2012 at 10:29 am

    @B W Smith: Why would those — K street, Abramoff, the loan — be a problem for Republican primary voters? If you don’t have conflicts of interest, it just shows you’re not connected enough. Playas have conflicts of interst.

  37. 37.

    different-church-lady

    January 7, 2012 at 10:30 am

    How about getting punched in the face regularly by your straight dad—is that better than having two gay dads?

    You know what would be much better? Two gay dads punching Santorum in the face.

    OK, now I feel dirty…

  38. 38.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 10:31 am

    @rob!: Yeah. Dude doesn’t like women, either.

  39. 39.

    Jerzy Russian

    January 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

    @MattF:

    Read it, because it’s worse than you remember.

    Unbelievable, but it was indeed worse than I remember.

  40. 40.

    different-church-lady

    January 7, 2012 at 10:34 am

    @Linda Featheringill:

    However, Santorum doesn’t set off my usually active gaydar. I’m sure he has a secret shame and it’s probably sexual but I don’t think that lusting after guys is it. I think he jumps on gays with relief. “Thank God this is one sin I don’t have and so I can talk about it.”

    Agreed. He strikes me more as the “too squeamish to have icky sexual activity of any kind” type. Maybe kissed a girl once, but mostly just spends time observing and thinking about it abstractly, which leads to odd ramblings about men on dogs. Ya think too much, Rick.

  41. 41.

    Anya

    January 7, 2012 at 10:43 am

    I just got a call from my boss, informing me that a colleague I had dinner and seen a movie with last night was found dead this morning by her partner. OH my god! It’s so shocking. She did not seem to have any problems at all. She was very cheerful and we laughed so hard, I still cannot believe she’s gone. Shouldn’t there be signs before someone dies of heart attack?

    I feel for her spouse, they got married as soon as gay marriage was legalized and they were devoted to each other.

  42. 42.

    B W Smith

    January 7, 2012 at 10:44 am

    @Davis X. Machina: That is possibly true, but I have faith that Romney will find a way to crush him, just as he did Gingrich. I’m not schooled on all the particulars of his association with Abramoff. When you consider that the end result in the Marshall Islands was forced sex and abortion, it doesn’t play well for a social conservative. Romney has the money and money finds a way to destroy anything in its path.

  43. 43.

    Schlemizel

    January 7, 2012 at 10:46 am

    @Elizabelle:
    CRAP! I had not ever thought of that possibility. thanks for putting that image in my head.

    I am afraid you are right – his soul is twisted because it made him feel dirty and shameful but special and blessed at the same time.

  44. 44.

    dmsilev

    January 7, 2012 at 10:49 am

    @Anya: So very sorry to hear that. And things like that do unfortunately sometimes happen with zero notice; a few years ago, my aunt literally dropped dead while she was at work talking with her boss. Zero warning, and then she was just gone.

  45. 45.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 10:50 am

    @Anya: How sad. It does sound like she had a wonderful time with you, which makes the contrast so terribly shocking.

    I’m so sorry.

  46. 46.

    scav

    January 7, 2012 at 10:51 am

    @different-church-lady: That just pushes it back, celibacy doesn’t alter a thing much if the ickyiness is why he’s celibate. Celibates can be fine with sex, it’s just not their thing — along the lines of not liking rocky road ice cream personally but not insisting that others not enjoy it.

  47. 47.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 7, 2012 at 10:52 am

    @B W Smith:

    When you consider that the end result in the Marshall Islands was forced sex and abortion, it doesn’t play well for a social conservative.

    Brown people. Not real people.

    Not a problem for GOP primary voters. Not a problem at all.

  48. 48.

    Amir Khalid

    January 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

    @Anya: That’s sad news about your colleague, and I am sorry for her wife’s loss. It’s a sad fact that some potentially fatal congenital heart conditions don’t present noticeable symptoms that warn the sufferer to get themselves checked out. This can happen even to world-class athletes who seem as fit and healthy as humanly possible: Florence Joyner-Jackson, for example, died of a heart attack in her sleep.

  49. 49.

    JPL

    January 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

    @Anya: I’m so sorry.

  50. 50.

    WereBear

    January 7, 2012 at 11:00 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: Yes, but fortunately the rest of the country would be rightly upset about that. If, that is, they knew.

  51. 51.

    B W Smith

    January 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: I live in Georgia, an extremely social conservative state. Ralph Reed’s candidacy for Lt. Governor was killed by his link to Abramoff. At the time his only known link was in the Native American c*asi*no scandal. I think many look at Native Americans as ‘brown’ people, too. Reed was beaten by a then little known GA rep, Casey Cagle. All of Reed’s Christian Coalition, god-fearing social conservatism couldn’t win out.

  52. 52.

    WaterGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 11:14 am

    @Anya: It is shocking, even to read about. I had to re-read your first sentence three times to make sure I had read it right.

    I once had a lovely visit with my uncle, and then found out that he died in his sleep that night. “But I just saw him yesterday” was my first thought, and it kept coming back. I was just glad that on his last day he knew people loved him.

    I am so sorry about your friend. I know it’s not the same, but my dog died a few months ago. I left for an 8:30 meeting and all was well, returned home 2 hours later and all was not well, and he was gone less than 24 hours later. It is shocking. it’s hard to take in. And it’s scary as hell to think that you (or your friend or your dog) can be fine one minute, and dead or dying, the next.

    Peace, Anya.

  53. 53.

    Svensker

    January 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

    @Anya:

    That’s just awful.

  54. 54.

    Jennifer

    January 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Sorry for the loss of your friend, Anya. I have a friend who had a MASSIVE heart attack at age 39, and she had just had a baby about a year before and was training for a marathon – in other words, in very good health, which is probably why she survived. The warning signs for women are indeed quite different than for men – looking back, she said the shoulder pain she was having was a signal, as were the hot flashes that her doctor assured her were due only to the pregnancy and her body getting “back to normal” following it.

    Sorry again to hear about your friend.

  55. 55.

    Jennifer

    January 7, 2012 at 11:32 am

    RE: Santorum’s obsession w/ teh ghey – I figure he probably is still burning with Catholic shame from having touched another boy’s wiener at Boy Scout camp when he was 12, which if the Kinsey Report and subsequent studies are to be believed, is more common than not among young boys.

  56. 56.

    B W Smith

    January 7, 2012 at 11:33 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: I’m stuck in moderation. Just look up the effect of Ralph Reed’s involvement with Abramoff in his Lt. Governor bid in Georgia. It destroyed his chances in a very socially conservative state.

  57. 57.

    PIGL

    January 7, 2012 at 11:40 am

    @SFAW: Another explantion might be that there is something destructive about the disciplines of psychology and psychiatry as such.

    Sober second edits: I know that psychologists can help people, so I am being too harsh. Let’s say, something in the discipline prone to harmful use in the wrong hands.

  58. 58.

    Triassic Sands

    January 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

    @WereBear:

    Wow, that may explain a lot. I have friends whose father is a psychiatrist and by all accounts he was ten times as messed up as the average dad.

  59. 59.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    January 7, 2012 at 11:48 am

    eating santorum

  60. 60.

    Kola Noscopy

    January 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

    I agree with those here who pick up on a gay vibe from Santorum. That has always been the case with me, and I’ve come to believe there really is some kind of ESP thang going on, whether it’s pheremones or whatever, that tells us gay folks that a family member is in the room or on the tv. Maybe he’s just bisexual, but something’s up there and he’s fighting it so hard, poor thing.

    Ricky needs a good dose of man lovin’ stat to set things right.

  61. 61.

    Schlemizel

    January 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

    I think the next great thological question Little Ricky should tackle is “How many gays can dance on the head of a pin?”

    I’m sure that more than a few would like to dance on his pin head.

  62. 62.

    PurpleGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    @Sir Nose’D: I hope that was snark because otherwise you have some pretty sick problems of your own.

  63. 63.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    January 7, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    @WereBear: To me, that indicates a primal drive (sex) being activated… and then beaten down with hammers

    Makes sense. It would take a strong drive to build an entire career out of it.

  64. 64.

    Gust Avrakotos

    January 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Yea, an alcoholic drug addicted straight dad who is in and out of prison is soooooooooo much better……/snark.

  65. 65.

    JD Rhoades

    January 7, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    @WereBear:

    To me, nobody brings up gay sex so freakin’ much, and in such a freaky way, unless they are really really really preoccupied with it.

    To be fair, a lot of the questions being directed to him these days are about it, and the more he answers them, the more attention it gets, so he gets more questions, and so on.

  66. 66.

    gelfling545

    January 7, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    @WereBear: My dad went that way. He had been out to breakfast with his coffee buddies having a great time, got out to the parking lot & dropped down dead. I realize that this is exactly the way he would have wanted to go. I think that one’s last moments on earth being fun is a wonderful gift.

  67. 67.

    gelfling545

    January 7, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    This reminds me so of two of my relatives. They are brothers one year apart in age – one is straight, the other is gay. The straight brother has a child begotten at age 16; the child’s mother is now a crack addict & he now has full custody. The straight brother can barely care for himself, works dead end jobs, never finished high school, etc. His brother has 2 masters degrees, works in higher ed. & rides to the rescue when his brother’s son needs it which is more & more frequently these days. There is no question in my mind who would be the better father. The brother who is gay will, most likely, have to become the legal guardian at some point in the near future and I hate to think that there are people who would try to stop that from happening.

  68. 68.

    Chet

    January 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    How about getting punched in the face regularly by your straight dad—is that better than having two gay dads?

    Well, that all depends. What if the straight dad used a pay phone or a public toilet previously occupied by homo? He might inadvertantly pass the AIDS onto his kid while punching him.

  69. 69.

    Chet

    January 7, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    @Chris:

    Pretty sure that explains most of the appeal of homophobia in the religious right. It’s a cheap way to demonstrate their own moral purity, moving heaven and earth to pursue and crucify a “sin” that most of them will never have to wrestle with themselves.

    Agreed. This is also why you see so many “pro-life” men.

  70. 70.

    Sir Nose'D

    January 7, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    I hope that was snark

    I would hope “teh ghey” would be a tip-off enough that there was some snark involved in my comment. The presence of snark, however, does not obviate any other sick problems that I may have, real or imagined.

  71. 71.

    PurpleGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    @Sir Nose’D: My snark meter is often not as tuned as it could be.

  72. 72.

    Anya

    January 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    Thanks everyone for your kind words. It’s still so shocking. I just came back from her home and her wife is inconsolable. She was an amazingly lovely woman. She was my mentor. She took me under her wing and taught me a lot. We became friends despite the age difference. She’s what I imagined a cool older sister would be like. Everyone at work is going to miss her, specially the clients. There are several boys I am worried about. I hope they get grief counseling.

    She worked with victims of sexual abuse, and she connected with them like no other. One of the young men she was working with showed a remarkable progress. He transitioned from a suicidal teen to a blossoming young man. With her help he got his first job, moved to his first apartment, and is dating. She helped him all the way. I hope he does not relapse as a result of her sudden lose.

    @WaterGirl: It depends on how you see your dog. I can imagine how the lose can be as painful as losing someone you love.

  73. 73.

    WaterGirl

    January 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    @Anya: My pets are my family, so for me it is losing someone I love.

    Your friend sounds like a very special person. Such a terrible loss to so many people. That, in itself, is quite a legacy to leave. What a gift it is for you to have been mentored by her.

    In time, I hope that in time your memories of your last night together can be a comfort to you. I also wonder if it might help your friend’s wife if you were to write down your memories of last night while they are still fresh, and then perhaps share them with her at some point in the future, when the time seems right.

  74. 74.

    xian

    January 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    @different-church-lady: Maybe a chunky Reese Witherspoon moment?

  75. 75.

    JCT

    January 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    @Anya: Sorry for your loss, Anya. Sudden cardiac death is my professional specialty, it’s amazing how common it is. It’s the best way for the deceased but in many ways the worst for the folks left behind. Try to focus on all the good and the fact that she didn’t feel a thing.

    Many of my patient’s families comment on how the grief seems to last longer in these cases because of the lack of closure.

    Her poor partner had to find her– always horrific when you realize what has happened. Many the families I take care of have lost children sometimes more than one, even after almost 20 years of this I am sick for days when I get those phone calls.

  76. 76.

    AA+ Bonds

    January 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    The answer is yes, Santorum and many Americans agree that being raised by same-sex parents is a form of vicious child abuse

  77. 77.

    Roger Moore

    January 7, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    @Anya:
    I know it is scant consolation, but at least your friend went quickly and peacefully. The advance notice that somebody is dying is often bought at a terrible price in their suffering.

  78. 78.

    DougW

    January 7, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    @Anya
    My Mom died of lung cancer. It took a year to kill her, after surgery, radiation and chemo. Falling down dead all of a sudden is how I want to go… Peace.

  79. 79.

    Jebediah

    January 7, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    @Kola Noscopy:

    Ricky needs a good dose of man lovin’ stat to set things right.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if he has never really felt any unconditional love in his life. I also wouldn’t be surprised if at this point he is beyond repair.

  80. 80.

    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy)

    January 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    @PurpleGirl: Pretty sure that was snark. My gaydar may not be worth a damn, and even my snark detector malfunctions from time to time, but even I know that was snark.

  81. 81.

    Evolving Deep Southerner (tense changed for accuracy)

    January 7, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    @Sir Nose’D: Nevermind. Another reminder to read the damn comments before chiming in. Carry on and please don’t pay any attention to me.

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