You don’t judge shit like this based on merit. Now, whether or not what we experienced was an “according to Hoyle” miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.
I have to admit, I was rooting for Denver, because I don’t want the Pats to have to play Pittsburgh.
Great game all around, most exciting I’ve seen since that Cards-Steelers Superbowl.
Baud
Doug, if John doesn’t survive the night, who is second in command here?
JPL
Doug, I love the pats but gotta say there is no way I wanted to see Tebow take a knee in prayer. Let me say if there is a god, he doesn’t have time for football.
DougJ
@Baud
Tunch.
Quaker in a Basement
Why does God hate John Cole?
Letting the Steelers come all the way back to tie only to be smited on the first freekin’ play of overtime??? This is the act of an angry God.
Repent your sins, Cole. The big guy ain’t playin’.
Villago Delenda Est
One of the things I dread about these things is the total fucking bullshit of some fucking non-existent invisible sky buddy having something to do with it.
It was a missed tackle and a hard sprint. No divine intervention required.
kindness
And with one simple post DougJ loses front page posting rights.
Baud
@DougJ: Oh, good. Tunch runs a tight ship. This place could use some QC.
dr. bloor
@Villago Delenda Est:
Also the blown coverage, which happened so many times during the game that it couldn’t qualify as a miracle in anybody’s prayer book.
Southern Beale
Fucking Tebow, man. Would it kill him to show a fucking SHRED of humility?
p.a.
tebow: 10 completions total for 316 yards. Someone in Cole’s neighborhood go over there and take all the sharp implements. If the tebows win next week someone come over to my place and do the same for me.
trollhattan
What do do when you want both teams to lose? Ah well, Tebow gets his arse handed to him next weekend, regardless.
Fluke bucket
From the Orange Bowl to the rock bottom. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
Bort
Jesus fucking rules! Motherfucker was all “man, I got this shit through my man Tebooooooooooooowwwwwww bitches!”
Southern Beale
So, the latest entry in Corporations Behaving Badly: I bring you, Caterpillar. Just your modern corporate
extortionist job creator.henqiguai
Has anyone actually verified Mr. Cole hasn’t gone and done something rash (I’m thinking maybe stripping down and defiantly baying at the moon in his front yard)? Really, someone should contact Tunch to keep an eye on things tonight…
FlipYrWhig
I saw most of the first half, then from about 5:00 to go in the 4th to the bitter end. It seemed like Tebow kept hitting these out of the blue 50 yard passes. Bah. I still think I would have tried the 67-yard field goal at the end of regulation.
Freemark
Steeler’s got Tebowed. They spent 30 min explaining the new ot rules and Its over in 10 seconds.
This HP touchpad has by far the worst spell checker I have ever encountered.
robertdsc-PowerBook
I have to say I was entertained by this game. Now I hope Brady and the Pats squash the Broncos and advance to the AFC title game.
Cassidy
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah…whew, heh,heh….ahgahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha….
Villago Delenda Est
@FlipYrWhig:
Nah, dr. bloor is quite right. Pittsburgh’s secondary wasn’t totally there today.
flukebucket
@Southern Beale:
Oh Lord it is hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way.
Southern Beale
Woops. Strike fail.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
Do you know something we don’t, Doug? Shouldn’t John have put up a thread? What’s happened to him?
cathyx
It was not a great game. The Steelers lost.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Southern Beale: It’s football. As for Tebow, I believe he has a god he’ll answer to.
DougJ
@cathyx:
Pretty well-played, exciting. I say that as someone who hates both teams.
Roger Moore
@JPL:
If there is a God who is powerful enough to create the universe and everything in it, He’s also powerful enough to pay attention to everything that’s happening, including football. Whether he’d actually take sides is another question. I don’t believe a word of it, mind you.
Brachiator
Tebow clearly has a Bad Muthafucka wallet.
Cat Lady
The Pats secondary sucks. I can see them making the same mistake that Taylor made at the end there, all day long. If Tebow makes it to the SB I’ll have what John’s drinking.
Roger Moore
@dr. bloor:
I’m not sure if it was really blown coverage as much as it was overly aggressive defensive play calling. The Steelers were putting way too much emphasis on stopping the run, which meant they were easy prey for a competent play action pass. Today they were unlucky that Tebow broke form and delivered enough well thrown passes to make them pay.
Petorado
So was god on Tebow’s side, or did Tebow sell his soul to the devil? Really curious after watching that game. Thinking Beelzebub has a new soul in his pocket right now.
MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson
@Belafon (formerly anonevent):
Shhh. Don’t let the teabaggers know about the secret Muslim thing. I buried Tim bin Tebow’s Kenyan birth certificate in Nevada at Yucca Mountain, so that side of things ought to be safe.
Southern Beale
@flukebucket:
I SO wouldn’t know ….
Elie
@Quaker in a Basement:
It WAS horrible wasnt it…
The Steelahs just arrived thinging they could mail it in. I fault the coaches for not getting them ready to play. They finally “got it” in the fourth quarter — by then, Jesus had got up and moved to the other side of the table (just kidding here so don’t take me seriously).
This was not a perfect night for me. A perfect night would have the steelers loose to anyone but this Christianist asshole. All I can hope is that his turn will come next week, but I am sure that he feels he can turn water into wine by now.. Ugh.
Gator90
Except for the 300 yards passing, the 3 touchdowns, the zero turnovers, and the game-winning 80-yard TD pass in overtime against the mighty Steelers in the playoffs, Tebow totally sucked.
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
i think it more likely that jim beam interceded in doug j’s in-game refreshment choices, than god interceded in an nfl game.
J.W. Hamner
My mom bought playoff tickets for the Ravens this year… she gets the Texans at least but I hoped maybe she’s also get Ravens/Steelers round III. Apparently not. Glad to see crying Steelers fans but sneering Patriots fans aren’t a great substitute.
TEEEBOOOOOWW!!!
Heliopause
God goes to Lucy van Pelt for psychiatric advice?
MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson
A prophecy of the future:
http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=7368669
Mark S.
Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah
And for the Steeler fans:
Mozart’s Requiem
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@Southern Beale:
fuck that, the sports media is worthless in exposing what tebow actually is, and what his faith actually believes.
i want the broncos to make it to the super bowl, and for tebow to address the gop convention, that should about get it covered.
Elie
@Gator90:
He owes it all to Yahweh…
Steelahs were blinded by the light and ran into walls and such…
Tebow won fair and square. JUST Tebow.
cathyx
@Belafon (formerly anonevent): John’s busy crying in his beer. He’ll be over it by next year.
Vodkamuppet
I’m at my mothers and I was trying to explain to her why people hate Tim Tebow so much but my explaination degraded into a full on rant/stroke to the point where I was jumping up and down flapping my arms and shouting “I’m Tim Tebow and I’m the first and only Christian ever to play in the fucking NFL LA DI FUCKING DA! Look at me, I pray all the goddamn time loo loo loo loo! I mention jebus in my press conferences every two fucking seconds, look at me aren’t I the most wholesome mother fucker ever in pro sports!? I almost got aborted, aren’t my parents the bestest most awesome parents ever in the history of parents?! La la la la la la la la I’m Tim Tebow and I’m a better person than you are!!!”
Thankfully my mother has a great sense of humor and tolerates my potty mouth when I work myself into a coniption.
The Dangerman
@FlipYrWhig:
Exactly; only downside is a block and, well, unless you are really fucking unlucky (like giving up 80 on the first play of OT) that’s not much of a downside.
Corner Stone
Can’t wait til the Texans beat the Broncos to go to the Superbowl as AFC Champs.
jl
@DougJ:
Too bad, from another person who usually hates him some Steelers.
Assuming Cole is still among us, maybe Tunch should take over for a few weeks until Cole recovers.
Corner Stone
Ha! Pimpberger at the podium.
Take that fucking hat off.
kevin
Eh, not a tebow fan, but this atheist will take over the top God boy over the likely multiple rapist any day.
Samara Morgan
@DougJ: altitude advantage. ive seen it my whole life.
next year, when the donkos have to play the good teams on the road, they will lose.
why get all whipped up about a buncha meatpuppets giving each other repeat concussion syndrome n/e ways?
best learn to love soccer.
;)
Samara Morgan
hei, CS, who gets the home field? Denver or Texas?
noodler
Great pull from pulp fiction! Just watched it the other night, first time in like 15 years.
Nice new overtime rules that the NFL has. Each team gets an offensive possession unless….
Roger Moore
@Gator90:
You forgot the 10 runs for 50 yards.
Samara Morgan
Elie, Tebow is another christian jackass prancing and braying in the public square.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@Samara Morgan: From what I remember of the Bible, if God is real, they will have some answering to do. I don’t sweat football players claiming that God helped them. It’s politicians who will cut funding to social programs and talk about God being on their side that drive me to anger.
Mark S.
@Mark S.:
This was the part of the piece I was thinking of more.
Elie
@Samara Morgan:
Sadly familiar with that, I am afraid…
As I said, any other team and I am totally ecstatic.
Mile High — yea — that plays a role…
MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson
@Samara Morgan:
Funny, cause I could have sworn you were a Muslim jackass doing your share of prancing and braying.
Maybe you and Tebus should investigate a civil union or some such?
MikeJ
@Quaker in a Basement:
God is a Seahawks fan.
Nerull
@kevin: The “top god boy” who does tv ads for hate groups actively working to restrict the rights of millions.
Roger Moore
@MikeJ:
And he just never gives them anything nice to prove he doesn’t play favorites?
MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson
@MikeJ:
A wrathful God as owner would explain many things about the Seahawks.
MikeJ
@Roger Moore: Most of the time she helps those that help themselves. Fucking with the Steelers is too much to pass up though.
4jkb4ia
@Samara Morgan:
Texans, they have the 3 seed.
Cassidy
Well, maybe instead of God liking Tebow, he just dislikes serial rapists.
schrodinger's cat
@DougJ: I thought he was the Supreme Commander.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
Doug, Doug, Doug….Why abandon the musical blog-post-title generator now?
Alternate title:
But I moved toward him
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
@MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:
its interesting, because most people think necessarily, that god is a supreme being. to think of god as a whiny crying ingrate accustomed to mediocrity at best, and fully incapable of handling the scantiest reprieve from that mediocrity, is novel. i would bet god really loves the oklahoma city thunder, then? it would stand to reason. kevin durant is one of the guys in the nba who is worth the price of admission.
BruceFromOhio
The hell she did. Gaia doesn’t have time to worry about your sorry ass, your fucking weak excuse of an organized sports team, whether you can pay the mortgage, or the last time you got laid. She doesn’t hear that sorry-ass line of whining bullshit mortals always try to pass off as “prayer,” either.
What you felt was last night’s black bean dip calling out for freedom.
Name
@BruceFromOhio:
Tell it to Samuel L. Jackson.
MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson
Show us on the doll where the Invisible Hand of Tebow touched you.
hitchhiker
Tebow needs to kneel piously in thanks after he loses next week. I’ll still be laughing out loud at him, but if he’s a gen-u-wine xian, that’s kinda required.
Cermet
@Corner Stone: You forget about the Ravens who beat the Texans even with their best QB and running back – and TB (for TeBow) still hasn’t beaten the Pats, either.
Name
@hitchhiker:
If he were a genuine Christian, he would’ve shut up about it and kept his praying as private as possible. Christianists are the ersatz variety.
Samara Morgan
@MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson: you completely do not get me.
im just ‘splaining SCIENTIFICALLY why the US spent 14 trillion taxpayer dollahs, 5 thousand soljah lives, and ten years FOR NOTHING.
that is is not proselytizing. that is history.
religiously, im a Sufi, a universalist. yours is better for you, mine is better for me. All paths are the One Path.
wahdat al wujud, wahdat al shuhud.
And ‘sides, muslims CANT proselytize christians because we believe in the same Allah.
;)
christians believe they own the one true path, and try to push their faith on others. Christian proselytizing is the cause of much of the worlds ills, from the crusades to Bush’s “Freedom Agenda”.
Samara Morgan
@Name: exactly. i would have the same problem with a muslim quarterback bowing toward mecca after every touchdown.
its ostentatious piety, aka prancing and braying in the public square.
Samara Morgan
@MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:
oh, im safe from that.
ima muslimah.
he’d have to revert to marry me.
;)