Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

It’s the corruption, stupid.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

I was promised a recession.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

This really is a full service blog.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

The words do not have to be perfect.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

I really should read my own blog.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

You are here: Home / Sports / Postgame thread

Postgame thread

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You don’t judge shit like this based on merit. Now, whether or not what we experienced was an “according to Hoyle” miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

I have to admit, I was rooting for Denver, because I don’t want the Pats to have to play Pittsburgh.

Great game all around, most exciting I’ve seen since that Cards-Steelers Superbowl.

Reader Interactions

77Comments

  2. 2.

    JPL

    Doug, I love the pats but gotta say there is no way I wanted to see Tebow take a knee in prayer. Let me say if there is a god, he doesn’t have time for football.

  4. 4.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Why does God hate John Cole?

    Letting the Steelers come all the way back to tie only to be smited on the first freekin’ play of overtime??? This is the act of an angry God.

    Repent your sins, Cole. The big guy ain’t playin’.

  5. 5.

    Villago Delenda Est

    One of the things I dread about these things is the total fucking bullshit of some fucking non-existent invisible sky buddy having something to do with it.

    It was a missed tackle and a hard sprint. No divine intervention required.

  10. 10.

    p.a.

    tebow: 10 completions total for 316 yards. Someone in Cole’s neighborhood go over there and take all the sharp implements. If the tebows win next week someone come over to my place and do the same for me.

  11. 11.

    trollhattan

    What do do when you want both teams to lose? Ah well, Tebow gets his arse handed to him next weekend, regardless.

  12. 12.

    Fluke bucket

    From the Orange Bowl to the rock bottom. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

  13. 13.

    Bort

    Jesus fucking rules! Motherfucker was all “man, I got this shit through my man Tebooooooooooooowwwwwww bitches!”

  15. 15.

    henqiguai

    Has anyone actually verified Mr. Cole hasn’t gone and done something rash (I’m thinking maybe stripping down and defiantly baying at the moon in his front yard)? Really, someone should contact Tunch to keep an eye on things tonight…

  16. 16.

    FlipYrWhig

    I saw most of the first half, then from about 5:00 to go in the 4th to the bitter end. It seemed like Tebow kept hitting these out of the blue 50 yard passes. Bah. I still think I would have tried the 67-yard field goal at the end of regulation.

  17. 17.

    Freemark

    Steeler’s got Tebowed. They spent 30 min explaining the new ot rules and Its over in 10 seconds.

    This HP touchpad has by far the worst spell checker I have ever encountered.

  18. 18.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    I have to say I was entertained by this game. Now I hope Brady and the Pats squash the Broncos and advance to the AFC title game.

  19. 19.

    Cassidy

    Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah…whew, heh,heh….ahgahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha….

  21. 21.

    flukebucket

    @Southern Beale:

    Fucking Tebow, man. Would it kill him to show a fucking SHRED of humility?

    Oh Lord it is hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way.

  23. 23.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    Do you know something we don’t, Doug? Shouldn’t John have put up a thread? What’s happened to him?

  27. 27.

    Roger Moore

    @JPL:

    Let me say if there is a god, he doesn’t have time for football.

    If there is a God who is powerful enough to create the universe and everything in it, He’s also powerful enough to pay attention to everything that’s happening, including football. Whether he’d actually take sides is another question. I don’t believe a word of it, mind you.

  29. 29.

    Cat Lady

    The Pats secondary sucks. I can see them making the same mistake that Taylor made at the end there, all day long. If Tebow makes it to the SB I’ll have what John’s drinking.

  30. 30.

    Roger Moore

    @dr. bloor:

    Also the blown coverage, which happened so many times during the game that it couldn’t qualify as a miracle in anybody’s prayer book.

    I’m not sure if it was really blown coverage as much as it was overly aggressive defensive play calling. The Steelers were putting way too much emphasis on stopping the run, which meant they were easy prey for a competent play action pass. Today they were unlucky that Tebow broke form and delivered enough well thrown passes to make them pay.

  31. 31.

    Petorado

    So was god on Tebow’s side, or did Tebow sell his soul to the devil? Really curious after watching that game. Thinking Beelzebub has a new soul in his pocket right now.

  32. 32.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    As for Tebow, I believe he has a god he’ll answer to.

    Shhh. Don’t let the teabaggers know about the secret Muslim thing. I buried Tim bin Tebow’s Kenyan birth certificate in Nevada at Yucca Mountain, so that side of things ought to be safe.

  34. 34.

    Elie

    @Quaker in a Basement:

    It WAS horrible wasnt it…

    The Steelahs just arrived thinging they could mail it in. I fault the coaches for not getting them ready to play. They finally “got it” in the fourth quarter — by then, Jesus had got up and moved to the other side of the table (just kidding here so don’t take me seriously).

    This was not a perfect night for me. A perfect night would have the steelers loose to anyone but this Christianist asshole. All I can hope is that his turn will come next week, but I am sure that he feels he can turn water into wine by now.. Ugh.

  35. 35.

    Gator90

    Except for the 300 yards passing, the 3 touchdowns, the zero turnovers, and the game-winning 80-yard TD pass in overtime against the mighty Steelers in the playoffs, Tebow totally sucked.

  37. 37.

    J.W. Hamner

    My mom bought playoff tickets for the Ravens this year… she gets the Texans at least but I hoped maybe she’s also get Ravens/Steelers round III. Apparently not. Glad to see crying Steelers fans but sneering Patriots fans aren’t a great substitute.

    TEEEBOOOOOWW!!!

  42. 42.

    Elie

    @Gator90:

    He owes it all to Yahweh…

    Steelahs were blinded by the light and ran into walls and such…

    Tebow won fair and square. JUST Tebow.

  44. 44.

    Vodkamuppet

    I’m at my mothers and I was trying to explain to her why people hate Tim Tebow so much but my explaination degraded into a full on rant/stroke to the point where I was jumping up and down flapping my arms and shouting “I’m Tim Tebow and I’m the first and only Christian ever to play in the fucking NFL LA DI FUCKING DA! Look at me, I pray all the goddamn time loo loo loo loo! I mention jebus in my press conferences every two fucking seconds, look at me aren’t I the most wholesome mother fucker ever in pro sports!? I almost got aborted, aren’t my parents the bestest most awesome parents ever in the history of parents?! La la la la la la la la I’m Tim Tebow and I’m a better person than you are!!!”

    Thankfully my mother has a great sense of humor and tolerates my potty mouth when I work myself into a coniption.

  45. 45.

    The Dangerman

    @FlipYrWhig:

    I still think I would have tried the 67-yard field goal at the end of regulation.

    Exactly; only downside is a block and, well, unless you are really fucking unlucky (like giving up 80 on the first play of OT) that’s not much of a downside.

  47. 47.

    jl

    @DougJ:

    Too bad, from another person who usually hates him some Steelers.

    Assuming Cole is still among us, maybe Tunch should take over for a few weeks until Cole recovers.

  49. 49.

    kevin

    Eh, not a tebow fan, but this atheist will take over the top God boy over the likely multiple rapist any day.

  50. 50.

    Samara Morgan

    @DougJ: altitude advantage. ive seen it my whole life.
    next year, when the donkos have to play the good teams on the road, they will lose.
    why get all whipped up about a buncha meatpuppets giving each other repeat concussion syndrome n/e ways?
    best learn to love soccer.
    ;)

  52. 52.

    noodler

    Great pull from pulp fiction! Just watched it the other night, first time in like 15 years.
    Nice new overtime rules that the NFL has. Each team gets an offensive possession unless….

  54. 54.

    Samara Morgan

    Elie, Tebow is another christian jackass prancing and braying in the public square.

  55. 55.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @Samara Morgan: From what I remember of the Bible, if God is real, they will have some answering to do. I don’t sweat football players claiming that God helped them. It’s politicians who will cut funding to social programs and talk about God being on their side that drive me to anger.

  58. 58.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Samara Morgan:

    Funny, cause I could have sworn you were a Muslim jackass doing your share of prancing and braying.

    Maybe you and Tebus should investigate a civil union or some such?

  68. 68.

    Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson:

    its interesting, because most people think necessarily, that god is a supreme being. to think of god as a whiny crying ingrate accustomed to mediocrity at best, and fully incapable of handling the scantiest reprieve from that mediocrity, is novel. i would bet god really loves the oklahoma city thunder, then? it would stand to reason. kevin durant is one of the guys in the nba who is worth the price of admission.

  69. 69.

    BruceFromOhio

    What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

    The hell she did. Gaia doesn’t have time to worry about your sorry ass, your fucking weak excuse of an organized sports team, whether you can pay the mortgage, or the last time you got laid. She doesn’t hear that sorry-ass line of whining bullshit mortals always try to pass off as “prayer,” either.

    What you felt was last night’s black bean dip calling out for freedom.

  71. 71.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

    Show us on the doll where the Invisible Hand of Tebow touched you.

  72. 72.

    hitchhiker

    Tebow needs to kneel piously in thanks after he loses next week. I’ll still be laughing out loud at him, but if he’s a gen-u-wine xian, that’s kinda required.

  73. 73.

    Cermet

    @Corner Stone: You forget about the Ravens who beat the Texans even with their best QB and running back – and TB (for TeBow) still hasn’t beaten the Pats, either.

  74. 74.

    Name

    @hitchhiker:

    If he were a genuine Christian, he would’ve shut up about it and kept his praying as private as possible. Christianists are the ersatz variety.

  75. 75.

    Samara Morgan

    @MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson: you completely do not get me.
    im just ‘splaining SCIENTIFICALLY why the US spent 14 trillion taxpayer dollahs, 5 thousand soljah lives, and ten years FOR NOTHING.
    that is is not proselytizing. that is history.

    religiously, im a Sufi, a universalist. yours is better for you, mine is better for me. All paths are the One Path.
    wahdat al wujud, wahdat al shuhud.
    And ‘sides, muslims CANT proselytize christians because we believe in the same Allah.
    ;)

    christians believe they own the one true path, and try to push their faith on others. Christian proselytizing is the cause of much of the worlds ills, from the crusades to Bush’s “Freedom Agenda”.

  76. 76.

    Samara Morgan

    @Name: exactly. i would have the same problem with a muslim quarterback bowing toward mecca after every touchdown.
    its ostentatious piety, aka prancing and braying in the public square.

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