Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

“Joe Biden deserved better than he got from some folks in his own party.”

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

So many bastards, so little time.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

Alternative history is always a weak argument. Always.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

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128Comments

  3. 3.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    I bet you are. Other than wishing for the meteor to strike, I’m enjoying it too.

  4. 4.

    policomic

    Now, now; there’s still time for a 4th-quarter miracle. Like, maybe the Rapture will arrive before the end of regulation.

  5. 5.

    Geoduck

    I of course turn it on to check just as Denver finally gets near the endzone again. Boo! And living in the Seahawks market, I can even enjoy it without Patriot-hate. I’m not sure the two teams have ever even played each other.
    EDIT: I see they have, but not enough to build up the vitrol from some quarters.

  6. 6.

    different-church-lady

    I take it this is the only situation you’re ever going to make that statement under?

  10. 10.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    Tebow’s been exposed for the fraud that he is. Sadly, it happened 6 days too late.

  13. 13.

    Kola Noscopy

    woo hoo Pats!

    I lurv living in the brainiest city in the country, in the most liberal state in the union, and having an awesome pro football team to cheer on.

  14. 14.

    Aqualad08

    You are just bitter…I’m a Jets fan and my Brady hate is too great to enjoy this very much at all…

  16. 16.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    What the hell was that? What the hell is this?

    Shouldn’t Jeebus boy preach a little peace to his team mates?

  18. 18.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    As a neutral who detests Tebow and Brady equally, a meteor strike right after the game ends would seem to be optimal.

  19. 19.

    khead

    I’m enjoying this Pats victory entirely too much.

    Meh. Where was this kind of intensity from the Steelers last week?

    Bitterness.

  21. 21.

    Geeno

    Not really a Patsies fan either, but that really was a righteous smackdown of Touchdown Jesus. Tebow’s offense generated all of three points.

  22. 22.

    Southern Beale

    I don’t watch football but in hockey my beloved Nashville Predators scored yet ANOTHER win! We apparently have the longest active winning streak in the NHL, tied with the NHL All-Star team.

    Wooo hooo!!!

  29. 29.

    billgerat

    Tebow is a bit(!) irritating, but I really wanted to see the Pats get creamed instead. I hate them like others hate the Yankees. Their helmet logo has to be the suckiest in the league. But Tebow is not the only one to blame for Denver’s loss – the whole team played lousy.

  30. 30.

    p.a.

    Hmmm. From arch conservative Bush supporter to wild eyed lefty should be enough for 1 life. I can’t see from stiller fan to pats partisan happening ; )

    can anyone verify the shot at tebow aaron rogers took? I was told rogers was asked about public ‘faithifying’ and he qouted st. Francis: preach your faith daily. When necessary use words.

  32. 32.

    dr. bloor

    Eh. I don’t have any particular feelings of animosity toward Tebow. The dipshits who are ready to elect him Preznit, however…

  33. 33.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    In other news: the TundraTrollop still ain’t endorsing and Newt wants to purge federal employees who are liberal.

  34. 34.

    General Stuck

    I’m sorry. And am as up for the rich giving to the poor as the next bleedy heart. But this just seems weird and creepy to me, like so many things Mitt Romney says and does. Is he trying to personally pay people to vote for him?

    Romney Gives Unemployed Woman Cash on Ropeline

    SUMTER, S.C. — Amid shaking hands and signing campaign posters, Mitt Romney did something he has never done before on the ropeline: He took out his wallet and handed a wad of cash to a woman waiting to shake his hand.

    At least it wasn’t a pint of whiskey like where I grew up. though it does seem like the expose on Bain Capital has his cage rattled a bit.

  36. 36.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @efgoldman: Yeah, the fluffing was ridiculous. The fucker couldn’t complete a pass and they’re talking about how good he was in college? Gag!

    ETA: i’m only sorry I won’t get to see Ray Lewis crush him.

  37. 37.

    darkmatter

    @Joel: Nantz can go eat a bag of salted dicks. He and his asshole compatriots are to blame for the ceaseless fluffing and blowing of Tebow and his “legend”. Hopefully Tebow will get traded to some shithole city and become forgotten in short time.

  39. 39.

    CaseyL

    I’ve been watching the game in dribs and drabs while mostly working on getting the old (and leaky) waterbed mattress drained and taken to the dumpster and getting the new one set up. So I barely managed to see any of the NO-SF game, and only a few minutes of the NE-Denver game.

    I’m glad I made the effort to watch at least a little of this one. It was a damn fine game, ending with a damn fine brawl. Good times.

    The waterbed mattress – the NEW one – is not going to get filled tonight. The fill valve handles broke off in my hand, I can’t believe it.

    So I have a question for anyone here who also still has a waterbed. The mattress has 2 valves, one for filling and the other “for air.” I don’t know what that means. I’ve had a waterbed for over 20 years, and I don’t think I’ve ever used the second valve for anything. My question is, can I switch the unbroken air valve cover for the broken water valve cover? When would I ever need to open the second valve?

    Thanks for any info you can give!

  40. 40.

    hildebrand

    @General Stuck: Wow. Somebody has clearly told him that he needs to start acting like an actual human being, maybe even one who pretends to care.

    Of course, just giving that woman a bailout is sure to trap her in a cycle of dependence, and likely is the worstest thing ever that he could have done, because now she will stop looking for work, thinking that creepy rich guys will always be there to hand her a wad of bills. Big guvmint!

  41. 41.

    Faux News

    Who knew the Baby Jesus was a Pats fan? I guess Tebow will now have to run for President and defeat the satanic forces of Obama.

  50. 50.

    Joe Bauers

    Rooting for Brady over Tebow is like rooting for syphilis over AIDS. Sure, it’s an easy choice. But even if you get your wish, it’s still going to suck.

  53. 53.

    Matt in HB

    Why does the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ like Brady and Belichick that much more than Tebow? Something for Timmy to contemplate during the off-season.

  56. 56.

    Joel

    @efgoldman: I actually like the Patriots logo. It’s abstract, which isn’t for everyone, but it’s got clean lines and good colors.

    Nostalgia aside, the old “Pat the Patriot” logo is one of the worst in NFL history. Current edition crappy logos include: Washington (landslide worst for many reasons), Carolina, Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, Miami.

  58. 58.

    Splitting Image

    Always happy to see so many happy football fans in one place.

    So, I guess the burning question is whether Tebow is the second coming of Trent Dilfer or Ty Detmer.

  61. 61.

    Geoduck

    @Joel:
    Yeah, Washington is the one professional sports team I truly dislike (well, maybe the Yankees, too, but that’s whole point with them, isn’t it?) And it’s solely because of their abomination of a mascot. If it was any other ethnic group, it would have been changed THIRTY YEARS AGO.

  65. 65.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Joel:

    I can see your point on Washington and Tampa Bay, the others, not so much. Personally I think Pat the Patriot has more charm and wit than the Flying Elvis ever will.

  66. 66.

    p.a.

    @efgoldman

    agreed: pat patriot is the best. What’s better as a symbol for a football team than a football player? And a grunt, a lineman, at that!

    just realized I put way too much thought into this…

  67. 67.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Huh. Apparently the Stooges had still another debate tonight, apparently in Mike Huckabee’s rec room. Anybody watch it?

  70. 70.

    JR in WVa

    I’ve never [ NEVER! ] rooted for the Pats before. I don’t like their coach, I don’t like their Q’back, and I don’t like their uniforms.

    But I’m glad they won this one game. Now, they can stop.

    Too bad about the N.O. Saints, NOLA is my favorite southern city.

  72. 72.

    Heliopause

    I don’t live anywhere near Denver but have been subjected to Broncos games in my media market for a couple of months now. Leaving the moronic hype surrounding Tebow aside, what’s struck me is how absolutely horrific their games have been to watch. These abysmally played excuses for NFL football have been, to put it charitably, like trips to the dentist (note to idiots: close game does not equal good game). Seriously, does the Lord God enjoy watching one team prevail by fucking up just a little bit less than the other? If He’s going to influence the outcome couldn’t He at least make the experience a little better than a colonoscopy? And I’m talking about the close games here, not the probing of random orifices by extraterrestrial grays we witnessed tonight.

  73. 73.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @efgoldman:

    I was at the [Boston] Pats’ first exhibition game

    Was that before or after Tebow’s Ride to warn the British that Sarah Palin was coming?

  74. 74.

    Wiesman

    Last week Tebow threw for 316 yards. John 3:16!!!

    Well this week he threw for 136 yards. I tried to figure out what that means, and I think I’ve found it.

    Proverbs 13:6 “Righteousness guards the person of integrity, but wickedness overthrows the sinner.”

    Replace “wickedness” with Tim Tebow, and “sinner” with “receiver” and it totally works.

  76. 76.

    Heliopause

    @Wiesman:

    Or Ezekiel 13:6 — “They have seen vanity and lying divination, saying, The LORD saith: and the LORD hath not sent them: and they have made others to hope that they would confirm the word.”

  78. 78.

    robertdsc-PowerBook

    I don’t know a single Pats fan (including me) who doesn’t agree. We’ve hated it since it was adopted. Not for nothing do we call it “Flying Elvis”.

    I love the Flying Elvis. Been a Pats fan for several years now. This win was good and I enjoyed watching Brady work. Now if only the Lakers can win so I can go into work in peace on Monday.

  80. 80.

    JGabriel

    @Joel: Not sure, but probably. The earliest photo, 12/4/2010, appears to precede the 8/3/2011 date of the Youtube video.

    .

  81. 81.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @smintheus:

    Looked like Tebow was focused way too much on the Miss America pageant tonight

    Whereas Brady knew that he could go home and have sex with whichever catwalk model he’s having sex with right now.

    The official explanation for the 3rd down punt may be that it was to protect the QB from a blitz in garbage time, but then you think about how Belichick is let Doug Flutie complete the first successful drop kick in the NFL since 1941. He doesn’t pull QBs: he gives them stats that will be used in trivia rounds for years to come.

  83. 83.

    Wiesman

    @Heliopause: I actually looked at that one before settling on the Proverbs one. I was really hoping I could get one to fit from Lamentations, but no luck.

  84. 84.

    different-church-lady

    @Joel: Agreed. A good sports logo should be something a child can copy easily. Not something that looks like a child originally drew it.

  85. 85.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Wiesman:

    Of course, Mark 13:6 is even more appropriate:

    Many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,’ and will deceive many.

  90. 90.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @efgoldman: I could not believe how the cameras were following him. Hell, it seemed like they cut away from the Brady/Gronk interview to show Tebow running into the locker room.

  91. 91.

    Me

    The punt on third down was because nobody ever pooch punts in the NFL anymore and Belichick likes to pull out plays nobody does (like Flutie’s dropkick). Also, it lets him make a play on the field that’s useful from a football sense while not giving anyone any room to complain – “What, we punted the ball, on third down even! What more do you want?”

  93. 93.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Wiesman:

    Isaiah 13:6

    Howl ye; for the day of the LORD is at hand; it shall come as a destruction from the Almighty.

    That seems to fit 45-10 rather well.

  94. 94.

    Wiesman

    Of course it is really a shame that John 11:35 (Jesus wept.) wasn’t John 13:6. That might have gotten me into church tomorrow morning.

  97. 97.

    R Johnston

    The highlight of the game, for me at least, was Tebow trying to go off on another of those insane scrambles to avoid a sack, turning around, and running right into Sean Ellis, who flattened him while he was sprinting towards the wrong end zone. That play restored some of my sense of order about the universe.

  101. 101.

    different-church-lady

    @R Johnston: He looked like he was going to get up and start doing the “Which way did he go, George?” routine from the Bugs Bunny cartoons.

  102. 102.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @R Johnston:

    The highlight of the game, for me at least, was Tebow trying to go off on another of those insane scrambles to avoid a sack, turning around, and running right into Sean Ellis, who flattened him while he was sprinting towards the wrong end zone.

    That would be this. As the post suggests, best played with ‘Yackety Sax’ as the soundtrack.

  106. 106.

    Mark S.

    SNL sucked tonight.

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    Wait, did that count as a field goal? I didn’t know you could do that. Why don’t teams let their punters try that when they need a field goal from the 50?

  107. 107.

    CaliCat

    Beautiful game. I’m so proud of Alex and Vernon and of course, the defense and Special Teams. They deserves this. Congrats to Coach Harbaugh as well!!!

    GO NINERS!!!

  108. 108.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Mark S.: A drop kick is hard. The ball must hit the ground and bounce up before it can be kicked. As rugby player who was good at most of the kicks available to ruggers (placekicks, punts, pops, and grubbers), I never successfully made a drop.

  110. 110.

    Mark S.

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yeah, I just figured that out! Yay Wikipedia!

    Interestingly,

    This method of scoring worked well in the 1920s and 1930s, when the football was rounder at the ends (similar to a modern rugby ball). . . Driscoll’s 55 yard drop kick in 1924 stood as the unofficial record for field goal range[5] until Bert Rechichar kicked a 56-yard field goal (by placekick) in 1953.

    The old ways were best.

  112. 112.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    Whereas Brady knew that he could go home and have sex with whichever catwalk model he’s having sex with right now.

    Wow, now there’s a true jealousy-driven assmunch kind of comment. I suppose you can only pull burn victims and Newt Gingrich’s ex-wives so you’re feeling bitter.

  113. 113.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Mark S.: Hell, I couldn’t do drops in practice, let alone doing it when opposing players were coming at me. The shit is hard to do. I could do pop-ups with either left or right foot though.

  115. 115.

    AnotherBruce

    Tim Tebow really did pull off a miracle tonight. He had large masses of football fanatics rooting for the New England Patriots.

  118. 118.

    Ron

    I am not by any means a Tebow defender generally, but I think it’s more about the hype around him than the guy himself. I read stuff like this and kinda feel bad about the bashing.

  119. 119.

    Kathleen

    I heard God was upset about the loss. He was trying to get a licensing deal with the NFL but no one is returning his calls now.

  120. 120.

    Scott P.

    I don’t know a single Pats fan (including me) who doesn’t agree. We’ve hated it since it was adopted. Not for nothing do we call it “Flying Elvis”.
    It is so great to see Pat Patriot when they do the nostalgia unis.

    I’m a Patriots fan and I’ve liked the new logo from the beginning. Much better than watching Pat Patriot taking a dump.

  121. 121.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Wow, now there’s a true jealousy-driven assmunch kind of comment.

    Wow, way to miss the point. I can waste energy explaining the joke about Juicebox Jesus getting distracted by a beauty pageant when the opposing QB can host one by calling up all his exes, but I’ll just direct you to the front page of FDL where you’ll be most welcome.

  122. 122.

    jhtrotter

    Nice. Lining up to get videoed urinating on the bodies of the dead Bronco’s, are we? I can only hope that after putting up 45 points on them, Belichick was able to get in a post game ‘suck my dick’ for Tim’s god.

    But it’s all good, I’m sure the prejudice and hate displayed here is okay, because us libruls are so much better than the other prejudiced haters that we so like to write about.

    When it’s all said and done, the Steelers are still pretty much done playing this season, aren’t they JC?

  123. 123.

    koalaholik

    The only problem with the Pats victory is, living in the Denver area, I will have to listen to the talking heads re-hash this on the news for the next 6 months and ponder whether Tebow will be the Broncos QB next season.

  125. 125.

    jhtrotter

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    What’s your buttermilk pumping hearton got to do with anything? Were you fantasizing about heading home to Gizzy Bundtcake as the jesus conquering hero?

    I tuned in last night in the hopes that an entertaining football game would break out, sort of like the one the previous week that so crushed Cole’s spirit. From the spewing in the above posts, it appears that a lot of people who read this blog tuned in to see Bill Belichick teach god a lesson she won’t soon forget. Whatever. So far, there’s no evidence that the guy murders dogs, or stabs men outside of an Atlanta night club, no evidence of raping drunk women, no evidence of demonstrating enhanced showering techniques to teenage boys. He just believes in a fucking god, hasn’t got laid yet, and occasionally throws a ball that doesn’t tumble to beat an unbeatable team in overtime. Yeah, those seem like hateble infractions.

    Maybe you and your buttermilk pumping organ could lighten up a little. Or not, it’s merely a suggestion. Tim and his god will likely forgive you either way.

    Hey Cole, wasn’t that a gorgeous spiral on that overtime pass to Thomas?

  126. 126.

    Anne

    @efgoldman:

    We’re the New England Patriots. Leetle Rhodey … The Biggest Little State in the Union.

  127. 127.

    Anne

    @efgoldman:

    We’re the New England Patriots. Leetle Rhodey … The Biggest Little State in the Union.

  128. 128.

    Anne

    @efgoldman:

    We’re the New England Patriots. Leetle Rhodey … The Biggest Little State in the Union.

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