Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Let’s finish the job.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Second rate reporter says what?

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

You can’t love your country only when you win.

The words do not have to be perfect.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

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368Comments

  3. 3.

    Corner Stone

    49’ers are still going to lose this game. Brees continues to take shots down the field, even after all the calamity so far.

  6. 6.

    JPL

    Tim Tebow seems like a nice guy but if he wins tonight my animals will hide… I just can’t stand the media hype and I want it to stop.

  7. 7.

    Ed in NJ

    The 17 point lead just means the 49ers will only lose by 2 touchdowns when all is said and done.

  8. 8.

    Citizen_X

    Anyone see Bradshaw gushing over Tebow on the pregame show? Going on about, “It would be so great for this country if Tebow wins tonight. Young people today so badly need heroes that they can look up to.”

    Supposed to be five degrees in Foxboro tonight. Welcome to New England, Tebow. Florida it ain’t.

  10. 10.

    Cat Lady

    @JPL:

    Is it even possible to talk about him more next week than they have this week, if he wins? OMFG. Please please please Patriots, restore order to the universe.

  12. 12.

    JPL

    @Cat Lady: Charles Barkley got in trouble by saying please make this national nightmare end. Kurt Warner was a nice religious guy and there was not this uproar because he wasn’t a religious wear it on your face freak..

  14. 14.

    John O

    I thought the first half of this one was way too much dominated by the zebras. They’re choking on their own whistles all over the place.

  15. 15.

    Fluke bucket

    the only thing that would thrill me more than a Tebow victory tomorrow would be a Ron Paul victory today

  17. 17.

    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.)

    Funny video! Makes me realize yet again what a true talent David Bowie is.

  18. 18.

    JPL

    Now I know the nightmare will never end. I just pulled up the NYTimes Sunday puzzle… 27 across QB Tebow…

  19. 19.

    Raven

    Uh huh, I step out to serve the princess my turkey bolongese meat sauce and pasta and ya’ll sneak away!

  23. 23.

    scav

    ♫

    We’ll walk in the light,
    beautiful light,
    come where the touchdowns of mercy delight.
    Shine all around us by day and by night;
    Tebow the light of the world.

    ♫

  26. 26.

    Svensker

    @Citizen_X:

    “It would be so great for this country if Tebow wins tonight. Young people today so badly need heroes that they can look up to.”

    Because the only role models in football are the white Christians? Wait, very young white Christians? All those older white Christians, not to mention the numerous young and old black Christians playing, are just bupkis? And the non-Christians, well fuggedabout them?

    He’s due for another head injury.

  28. 28.

    John O

    @Mark S.:

    Hard to remember one (’cause of the Jesus media-hook), and the jury is still out on his mediocrity as an NFL QB. I don’t think he’ll be a good one, but Aikman was something like 1-13 his first year, Bradshaw about the same, it takes time to bake an NFL QB.

    I’ve come to respect Tebow as a football player, just not yet a QB.

  30. 30.

    Raven

    @John O: I don’t like him cuz he’s a gator but anyone who thinks he’s not a good football player is blinded by the light, dressed up like a douche.

  34. 34.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    @Southern Beale:

    Apparently without Ron Paul too. Still, maybe Mittens and Gingrich can do some quality posturing while Rick Perry works on remembering his own name.

  36. 36.

    geg6

    I can’t believe I’m typing this, but GO PATS!

    I want NFL Jeebus to be crushed into a million tiny pieces. I want him intercepted three dozen times. I want him sacked at least a hundred times, with major injuries ending his career forever.

    And it will just be a bonus that the Pats will forevermore be the agents of Satan who will bask in the bitter tears of all the stupid Jeebus worshippers who think a dimwitted hillbilly who wears scripture on his face will somehow bring on the Rapture.

  37. 37.

    John O

    @Raven:

    Not a Gator fan either, but those days are over now…

    …my predicition for tonight is that Tebow’s youth and inexperience and inability to throw the football will be exposed, and the Pats will cover the enormous spread. I’m with you though: the boy’s a gamer.

  39. 39.

    Raven

    @John O: The only thing that worries me is the Pats secondary. I guess if you can’t get the ball to the receivers it doesn’t matter but still.

  40. 40.

    Cat Lady

    @JPL:

    My gay friend I’ve known from high school is 100% sure Tebow’s gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. My friend’s gaydar is unerring. When I watch football with him we compare notes about attractiveness, and one of his wicked crushes are the Harbaughs (not gay) – they’re interchangeable to him, so he’s in a win win situation with the playoffs. Jim Harbaugh kinda does it for me too.

  41. 41.

    John O

    @Raven:

    He’ll miss more than his share of open receivers. Like point guards who can’t shoot (John Wall), I don’t generally like QB’s who are not natural, accurate passers.

  43. 43.

    T.R. Donoghue

    @Citizen_X:

    You do realize that the Denver Broncos play half their season in Denver, correct? I don’t think he’ll be scared off by the cold weather.

  64. 64.

    Schlemizel

    @Raven:
    One of his team mates once commented “Terry couldn’t spell CAT if you spotted him the C and the A”. He may also be the worst QB in the HoF. He may be the luckiest man on Earth.

  68. 68.

    Schlemizel

    @eric:
    If you had to be mounted by Boy Blunder you’d be cold too – dead inside – that thousand-yard stare & plastic smile.

  77. 77.

    Citizen_X

    @T.R. Donoghue: What eric said. The Broncos aren’t afraid of the cold, but Tebow is, as was said above, not fully seasoned yet. As far as NFL late-season cold weather play is concerned, he’s still a Florida boy.

  79. 79.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    We’re the 49ers!!!!!
    We won’t stop until we win the fight!
    We’re the 49ers!!!!
    We’re Dynamite!
    From the 80’s

  93. 93.

    Corner Stone

    Alex Smith doesn’t have much lateral quickness but I think people forget coming out of Utah he ran like a 4.7 straight line 40 yard dash.

  95. 95.

    John O

    Helluva play, and Smith showed his athleticism.

    Lots of time left, 4-down territory, should be a good one for a couple more minutes!

  113. 113.

    scav

    This is grand. I’m imagining the hand of Michelangelo’s GSD descending out of the whirlwind and cloud while managing a fumble.

  131. 131.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Alex Smith just channeled Joe Montana! Vern Davis, Dwight Clark minus the jump!!

    We’re the 49ers!!!
    We won’t stop until we win the fight!
    We’re the 49ers!!!!
    We’er Dynamite!

  138. 138.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    Wow. As a team where I lived learned in a couple of Super Bowls, you cannot ever count the Niners out.

    Thanks, btw, stuckinred, for the shorpy link i the SP and T thread.

  139. 139.

    Schlemizel

    BJ has been acting weird all day. A couple of times I have clicked in & gotten the mobile format version. The last time as just as the 9’ers scored & it showed 112 comments. I hit refresh & it came back normal but with 138.

    If that team shows up in Green Bay next weekend its not going to be much of a game I’m afraid. The Packers might be a tad too good to let them remain competitive playing that way.

  146. 146.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    If Tebow pulls this off, you will hear nothing else on Mike and Mike even if the Giants upset the Packers, oh by the way I guess the chopped liver bowl is the Texans and the Ravens you hardly heard anything about that match-up.

  150. 150.

    Corner Stone

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    I guess the chopped liver bowl is the Texans and the Ravens you hardly heard anything about that match-up

    Ravens are excellent at home this year and have a 5-0 record against Texans all time.
    So it’s going to be an uphill battle for us.

  154. 154.

    JPL

    @Corner Stone: A friend was the principal at Yates middle school. You would think the media would highlight that story. A third string qb running the team but nooooooooooooo we have to talk about some fumbling kneeling qb from denver.

  157. 157.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Corner Stone: As a Browns Fan I will root for the Texans though I think the Ravens are on a roll and Ray Lewis wants one more ring before he leaves.

  159. 159.

    Donut

    @efgoldman:

    Doesn’t bother me. My kid started calling me old and boring almost as soon as she could talk.
    Not so much now that she’s 31.

    Having just turned 40, I can now safely say that 31 seems young to me.

  163. 163.

    Bubblegum Tate

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    I guess the chopped liver bowl is the Texans and the Ravens you hardly heard anything about that match-up.

    There’s not much to say. The Ravens are gonna wax ’em.

  164. 164.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Raven: True and Tebow is going to be the Brett Farve story next year in training camp. A G-Dmn soap opera for all the world to see. OH great catch!!!! GRONNNNNNK!!!!!

  169. 169.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @efgoldman:

    Don’t go getting sick on her. My dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma just before Fathers’ Day. He’s been going through hell recovering from stem cell replacement therapy in October to the point that we don’t know until about an hour before the games if he’ll be cheerleading at our Packers bar. He hasn’t made the trip around the lake for a game this year. Hell, I don’t think he got to a Muskegon High game this year.

    Yeah, football is the standard upon which I gauge my dad’s spirits. Go figure.

  178. 178.

    Legalize

    Timmy Rah Rah is being persecuted by atheist, leftist, gay refs tonight. Probably Muslims too.

  183. 183.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Raven: When I was in OCS, one Captain gave us this safety briefing: Don’t drink and drive. And remember no glove, no love.

  185. 185.

    Joel

    Undercover Boss would be a lot more interesting if the executives suffered debilitating injuries and had to use their available medical insurance to pay the bills.

  187. 187.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Raven: Yeah I heard that on radio show. There was a German version of SNL that portrayed him as the Chauffeur.(for those you didn’t know,the brother was convicted of drunk driving in which a passenger was killed)

  189. 189.

    Joel

    @Corner Stone: Rotational OLB prone to getting blown up on run plays. Pretty good against the pass, though. And way better than chronic overpursuer Gary Guyton.

  190. 190.

    Corner Stone

    @Joel:

    Undercover Boss would be a lot more interesting

    I just hate the whole concept. Want to punch everyone involved in the neck. Metaphorically.

  191. 191.

    John O

    @Raven:

    As someone who has successfully caught many footballs and other thrown devices?

    I should have said if you’re a receiver, you know that’s a catch.

  199. 199.

    JordanRules

    New handegg thread por favor?

    This whole rooting for Darth Hoodie thing, it just feels wierd. Oh wells, gooooo darkside!

  206. 206.

    Cat Lady

    GRONK! eleventy1 ! FYWP for telling me I have a duplicate comment – it’s GRONK – get used to it!

  210. 210.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Such a cute Focus on the family commercial, the only thing missing was Rick Santorum endorsing it

  212. 212.

    handy

    @Raven:

    Well, my Spoonerific ear has heard it said the former way, but you may be right. But I really think what Denver is having right now is a collective freak-out.

  217. 217.

    FlipYrWhig

    I really thought that commercial was going to be a spoof of Tebowphilia. It appeared to be completely serious.

  218. 218.

    MildlyAmusedRainbowPerson

    I could be wrong here, but the situation seems to be developing not necessarily to Jesus’ advantage…

  219. 219.

    Cat Lady

    Can we all agree that Tim Tebow and all he stands for must be destroyed? Separation of church and sports. kthx.

  220. 220.

    catatonia

    Focus on the Fuckoffs can play all the ads they want, but Gronk (who, as a bonus, consorts with porn stars) and the Patriots are kicking it tonight. Since Xians ideas of the eternal and divine start and end with, more or less, physical intimidation, they’ve got nothing, brats and bible thumpin’ aside.

  222. 222.

    handy

    @Cat Lady:

    Separation of church and sports.

    NEVER!!!

    But if it’s any consolation, church has been losing to sports on Sundays for quite some time.

  224. 224.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    Normally, I can’t stand either the Patriots or Tom Brady, but if they can help put a stake through the heart of Tebow-mania, so be it, go Pats.

  233. 233.

    cathyx

    251 comments on an open thread. I feel like a cat who hasn’t had it’s litter box cleaned out for a few days.

  238. 238.

    Birthmarker

    Even as a young child, living in the deep south,I never understood a prayer that asked God for a victory in a sporting event. Even when I was 7 or 8, it seemed to trivialize the concept of God.

  242. 242.

    catatonia

    Lib’rl elites (Massachusetts) and womanizers (aforementioned Gronk and Brady) humiliating the adopted team of heartland god botherers.

    At my age, Saturday nights don’t get much more gratifying than this.

  243. 243.

    tcinaz

    If the Lord of all there is loves Timmy when he does well, what does this mean? God’s mad, hates Timmy, loves everybody but Timmy? Just askin.

  252. 252.

    Heliopause

    The only good thing about Bill Belichick being the world’s biggest fucking asshole is that it’s entirely possible he’ll run up the score in this game.

  261. 261.

    Schlemizel

    Been watching the UoM/UND mens hockey game (going VERY nicely thank you) and tracking the UMD/UoM womens game (also going as intended). Just flipped to the NFL . . . even touchdown Jesus is not going to save the sorry ponies this night!

  266. 266.

    JPL

    I do like the way the game is going..Maybe if Brady kneels at the end of the game the Tebow era will be over..
    Who do you think Timmy dreams about at night, Tommy or Gisele?

  267. 267.

    geg6

    Looks like Jesus is not a fan of NFL Jeebus. I, for the first time in my life, am thankful for Tom Brady and the Pats. Hell, I’m even thankful for that evil fuck, Belichek. Oh, if only my Steelers had been healthy and could have put a stake in the heart of Tebowmania like this. But I’ll take it however I can get it.

    Gee, maybe Tebow is Jeebus. After all, he has Steeler fans and Pats fans lying down together in harmony, much like the lion and the lamb. Heh.

  268. 268.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Heliopause: It would be funny if Belichick, was to pull out some Satanic diagrams to piss off the fundies, or better yet yell ALLAH AKBAR!! ALLAH AKBAR!!! at the end of the game

  272. 272.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @geg6: Brady and Belichick are considered Satan in the eyes of Mike(I have a mancrush on Mark Sanchez)Greenberg. He will be crying like those CGI figures on NMA.TV. ESPN may listenable this weekend.

  273. 273.

    different-church-lady

    OK, now that I’ve got some time… wow, was the end of that SF-NO game amazing or what?

  274. 274.

    suzanne

    @Cat Lady: My coworkers and I think he’s gay, too. I don’t really give a shit; I hate football, and am only looking forward to the Super Bowl because it means this shit is almost over for a few months.

  277. 277.

    Cat Lady

    @suzanne:

    I like to imagine him coming out in a press conference and having ESPN’s announcers’ heads literally explode, like in Dave Chappelle’s Black White Supremacist episode.

  278. 278.

    JordanRules

    @geg6: Indeed. Don’t change your evil ways now Darth hoodie, run up the score, mess up the field, steal some plays, but make sure the stake is in deep.

  281. 281.

    Elmo

    I would give a not insubstantial body part to see Brady do a Tebow when he takes a knee at the end of the game.

  283. 283.

    catatonia

    At the beginning of the half, if Tebow throws six straight incompletions, he’ll be … 3 for 16.

  285. 285.

    JPL

    @Elmo: Me also, too but the announcers would say it was mocking religious conservatives and in bad taste cuz only assholes can truly do the Tebow.

  290. 290.

    JordanRules

    @Raven: For the entire half!?!!? I am soooo feeling that!

    Yes, still bitter bout last week and the most ignorant football fans at a bar ever. Rooting for Tebow and literally couldn’t count, called every GD play wrong.

  295. 295.

    JordanRules

    Soooo, no new thread then huh?? Fine, lemme get my scroll game right.

    I wish we could have VH1’s old ‘Pop Up Video’ to accompany this now.

    Awww geez. How many TD’s will Gisele’s hubby end up with??? I say 7.

  297. 297.

    Raven

    @eric: ha, my user name on many sites is raven316 because when I started internet stuff I was commuting to Georgia Tech on highway 316 and my doggie was raven!

  298. 298.

    DH

    Am I a bad person for enjoying the fact that, if you can believe the polls, that 42% of my fellow Americans who believe that Little Timmy is being helped by God are having true reality smack them in the face? Big time?

    NO

  299. 299.

    FlipYrWhig

    I said to my wife, a New Englander, before the game I hoped it would be 50 to 6. We’re getting there…

  303. 303.

    Mister Colorful Analogy

    Stat just posted before the commercial:

    Tebow Completions: 3
    Brady Touchdowns: 6

    That’ll leave a mark.

  304. 304.

    Karen in GA

    @DH: They’ll just blame the defense for not stopping Brady. Tebow can do no wrong, even when he’s playing like a Raving Rabbid.

  305. 305.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    And the Lord saweth that His Children were Worshiping the Baby Jebus and not him, The Lord Waxed Hot and sent the Angel of Distruction to Foxboro. And thus the humbling of 15 and all of his host began. Thus sayeth Belichick “Hie thee to Brady many points, use thy great Tight End GRONK, to issue woe to those from the wasted heartland”

  311. 311.

    Triassic Sands

    @T.R. Donoghue:

    Denver weather is not what you seem to think it is. The first time I ever went to Denver it was in the fifties in late December. Then, I lived in Boulder (26 miles NW of Denver) for about 20 years and my favorite time of the year to rock climb was in January-February when we were virtually always guaranteed to have some weather in the mid-fifties to high sixties. Yes, there is some cold weather, but it rarely stays for long and all winter long the cold is offset by lots of mild, sunny days.

  315. 315.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @DH: They ignore facts that don’t match their beliefs. Tomorrow, at church, there will be talk about how everyone blacked out Saturday night, and they will all claim that God blessed them all simultaneously.

  316. 316.

    Michael57

    This massacre is only going to make things worse (for next year)–they’ll all be talking about Tebow’s time of tribulation and humilty, etc. They’ll be talking about his character.

  320. 320.

    Satanicpanic

    @Raven: I’m enjoying it. My team is in the same league as the Broncs, but their name is too embarassing to type right now.

  324. 324.

    Davis X. Machina

    God clearly had the Pats, and gave the points.
    Hear ye the words of the Lord:
    “My ways are not your ways”. (Isaiah 55:8)

  327. 327.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Well if there is a bright side. John Elway will now green-light his efforts to get a REAL quarterback. Perhaps the back-up QB from Green Bay Matt Flynn. I’m sure he is on it while we speak.

  332. 332.

    different-church-lady

    Tebow is the only quarterback I’ve ever seen who throws the ball with the pointed ends aimed at the sidelines.

  333. 333.

    eric

    @eric: nantz said this is not what everyone expected tonight….other than Vegas and everyone I know….yup other than them…

  336. 336.

    JordanRules

    Simms is having to explain NewPerryTorum’s collapse.

    I’ll just stop this GOP Primary analogy that’s dancing in my brain now. But there’s some good stuff there.

  337. 337.

    SP

    I’m sure there’s some biblical analogy for kicking a field goal down by 35 at the end of the third…
    You could hear the pain in Simm’s voice when he saw Tebow’s mechanics on that dead fish throw before the FG.

  338. 338.

    Svensker

    Well, I’ve heard Simms say “eem” for “him” for the last time tonite. I’m out.

    Also, too, the stress of rooting for the Pats has done me in.

    Cheers, y’all!

  342. 342.

    handy

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    People can write off one game (yeah I get it’s a pretty damned important game but..). I’m not in Denver so not having an ear to the ground I’m still going to say Elway’s got no choice with all the public pressure but to stick it out with TD Jeebus at least by training camp next year.

  343. 343.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    What do you suppose Tim Tebow says when he’s sacked? My brother suggested “Nutty Fudgekins!”

  347. 347.

    smith

    The announcers have become utter slurp-monkeys of Tebow. Even when he is playing QBs like Brady who have always been announcer favorites. Even when he plays like utter garbage they can’t stop saying how great he is.

    I am enjoying this beatdown tremendously. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it.

  349. 349.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Raven: Hell, I reckon not, then. I had a feeling I shouldn’t have fired out that comment without checking. Sorry ’bout that, chief.

  350. 350.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Turned off the sound to listen to some Rammstein, very appropriate music to what is going on.

  352. 352.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Raven: Red Lebanese? Nah, that came later. Whatever it is. It seems to have wiped out the memory.

  354. 354.

    geg6

    Tbogg is gonna be epic tomorrow. Just fucking epic.

    Edit: And I see I’m not the first to have that thought.

  356. 356.

    geg6

    Will someone please tell Jim Nantz that a 40 yard completion with 7 minutes left in the fourth quarter with the score at 45-10 is not something to get excited about.

    Aaaaaand, as usual, Tebow blows it from 3 yards out.

  357. 357.

    different-church-lady

    @geg6:

    Will someone please tell Jim Nantz that a 40 yard completion with 7 minutes left in the fourth quarter with the score at 45-10 is not something to get excited about.

    Look at it from his perspective: he’s gotta sit in that cold booth for another half-quarter (8th?) of painfully bad football and try to keep people from tuning out.

  364. 364.

    different-church-lady

    Tomorrow morning on “This Week”: Mark Halprin explains why Tebow’s beatdown is good news for Mitt Romney.

  365. 365.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Someone needs to read Matthew 6:6 to Mr. Tebow.

    Also good would be an explanation of the term “hubris”.

    Then they could move on to a lesson on the phrase “how the mighty have fallen”.

  366. 366.

    Pongo

    You are so right. And then there will be an inspiring documentary special about how he nearly lost his faith after god allowed him to experience a humiliating loss to that heathen, Tom Brady. This important life lesson taught him that only through humility and perseverance, coupled with God’s grace, would he able to move forward and fulfill his life of service (to multi-million dollar endorsement deals), ultimately restoring his faith in his own (and God’s) awesomeness. Terry Bradshaw will narrate.

  367. 367.

    Pongo

    @Pongo: This was supposed to be posted in response to the commenter who suggested this ‘tragic’ loss will only serve to give the blowhards more to analyze and fret over with regard to Tebow. Sorry–can’t find the original post now.

  368. 368.

    Redheadwglasses

    “Kurt Warner was a nice religious guy and there was not this uproar because he wasn’t a religious wear it on your face freak..”

    No, Kurt Warner (and his entire family — wife, parents, etc.) WERE “in your face” people with religion if you knew them (he’s from where I’m from–believe me, Kurt was a dick with his religion). It’s just that the country was a bit different then. The degree to which the religious “right” wants to take over the country has changed a lot since Warner’s days in the NFL.

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