Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Consistently wrong since 2002

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

No one could have predicted…

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Bark louder, little dog.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Not all heroes wear capes.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Greetings, Juicers

Greetings, Juicers

by | 199 Comments

This post is in: ,

Possibly due to a clerical error, I was invited to become part of the fantastic Balloon Juice team. It’s a bit like being the obscure governor of a low-population state who is suddenly thrust into the national spotlight, only hopefully less dumb, evil and screechy.

I know some of you from Rumproast, where I’ve been posting for a few years now, and from my occasional forays into the comments here at Balloon Juice. Pets? I got ‘em — Daisy (fawn) and Patsy (brindle):

[Do not adjust your screen settings; the dog on the right is a rare tailed boxer]

A word about my internet handle: Although I am a white woman from rural Florida, I didn’t choose it to convey that. It’s a nickname my husband (an Upstate New Yorker) gave me because of my down-home cooking.

If I had it to do over again, I’d probably choose something a little less fraught, but what’s done is done.

Anyhoo, hello. And please feel free to treat this as an open thread.

Reader Interactions

199Comments

  3. 3.

    jacy

    Yello!

    Boxers are fine, fine dogs. Never met one who wasn’t an absolute darling.

    (And you won’t be a true FP’r till the moment someone starts obsessively posting about how shrill and thin-skinned you are. Give it a few minutes.)

  5. 5.

    Brandon

    When I first saw the name, I thought this post was written by a new DougJ monniker to discuss something ABL related. Let’s see if how soon before you get pilloried by the same bitters who trolled every ABL post. It is like a science experiment for me. What if ABL were white….

  11. 11.

    pragmatism

    i, for one, welcome our new blogging overlord. if you’re half the chef your uppity husband thinks you are, you gotta have a themomix. which is cool.

  12. 12.

    trollhattan

    Dayumn Betty, I’ll follow you anywhere, casserole or no casserole. Welcome, and to the boxers too, natch!

  13. 13.

    Poopyman

    Tell me about fraught screen names.

    Anyway, welcome! Don’t drink up all the scotch and you’ll do OK.

  15. 15.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    We welcome John’s new victims our new front pagers with our curare-tipped knives open arms.

    Good luck, your personal B-J stalker will be along soon. ;)

    @Brandon: “What if ABL were white….”

    Talk about an easy question to answer…lol!

  16. 16.

    Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!

    Welcome, Betty Cracker! Personally, I like your handle and find it charming.

    Look forward to you developing your voice here at Balloon Juice. I’m sure your jitters will gradually melt away as you get into the swing of things.

    My only criticism so far is that you are not, unfortunately, a Westie owner… but alas, that is rather rare.

    What are some of the things you are interested in and tend to blog about?

    If you run out of ideas, those crazy Republicans are always reliable about providing grist for the mill….

  17. 17.

    Chyron HR

    Daisy (fawn) and Patsy (brindle)

    You’re just taking care of them until they can phone home, right?

  21. 21.

    cmorenc

    Speaking of down-home cooking, I fixed a pot of collards-and-country-ham-and-white-bean soup just yesterday evening. Delicious! That sounds like something right up “Betty Cracker”‘s alley, except you’d probably be able to whip up an even better version of it than mine.

  22. 22.

    Anya

    @Brandon: It’s not going to have the same intensity. The way they see it, ABL’s support for POTUS is emotional and tribalistic, you know on the account that she’s black. But Betty Cracker’s support can be reasoned with and challenged in a semi-rational way because it’s based on ideology or loyalty to the party or even pragmatism.

  23. 23.

    The Moar You Know

    You didn’t start off with a post full of rage and unsourced allegations, so you’re already off to a better start than the last socially dysfunctional malcontent front pager, so that’s a good thing. Welcome aboard!

  26. 26.

    EconWatcher

    Welcome!

    Just a word of advice: Whatever you do, don’t mention Helen Thomas. Long story.

  29. 29.

    Mike Goetz

    Hilarious stuff:

    “In the latest New York Times/CBS News poll, 60 percent say Mr. Obama is attempting to work with Congressional Republicans to try to accomplish something; 27 percent say Republicans in Congress are making the same effort to work things out with the president.”

    27-damn-%. It never fails. Spooky.

  34. 34.

    Violet

    Welcome aboard! Your puppies are adorable. I love boxers. All the ones I’ve known have been great dogs.

    @cmorenc:
    Can you freeze a bean soup? I’ve got a ham bone leftover from Christmas that I’d like to use in a soup, but I know I’ll have tons of leftovers and don’t know if they’d freeze well.

  36. 36.

    scav

    @Amir Khalid: Now now, we surely get some from different planets, if not irregularly tangent universes, but we will award you the gold star for terrestrial distance traveled. I echo your welcome, only I’m from left field. Must be sort of a stereo echo then, with a bit of a long-distance lag to it.

  39. 39.

    El Tiburon

    Few rules here BC. Okay?

    1. You must, and I mean must, reply to comments on your posts. It’s best to jump in by the 4th or 5th comment, then somewhere in the middle would be fine.

    2. Although we are permitted and encouraged to be sophomoric and use potty language and question your existence, you are not afforded the same indulgences.

    3. If you feel the heat from the rabble, simply insult Jane Hamsher or Glen Greenwald. If you are really getting shat upon, insist you would not sex up Greenwald even with Hamsher’s penis.

    4. Don’t make it personal with us. That is our job. You got it?

    That’s all I got.

  40. 40.

    Phylllis

    Welcome. Cute pup-pups.

    What general area of rural Fla, may I ask. Not to stalk or anything, just curious. I’m a native Floridian,
    from Bradenton/Manatee County.

  41. 41.

    kindness

    @cmorenc: How would a vegan fix collard greens? (no, I’m not a vegan, just curious)

    And Betty, may the FSM grace your every meal.

  47. 47.

    RalfW

    That POTUS to Betty White thing over at Rumproast? Awesome.

    Whenever I see stuff like that I just think “What an evil, conniving, America-hating soc1alist that Barack Obama is.”

    Er, wait, actually I wonder what the f*ck the GOP has put in their crack pipes.

  48. 48.

    TG Chicago

    Hi, Betty Cracker. If you’re not wild about your name, you could always follow the likes of Tim F., Dennis G, and DougJ.

    How do you like Betty C.?

  49. 49.

    Betty Cracker

    @Rosalita: Yes, and yes! My dogs are weirdly averse to being photographed (maybe they’re Amish?), but cheese always does the trick.

  51. 51.

    Villago Delenda Est

    OK, now we have to determine why Betty’s (btw, welcome, Betty!)stalker will be stalking her.

    Will it be cudlipness? Oh, wait, that’s taken.

    Will it be anger? Nope, that’s taken too.

    Will it be hanging out with Vanderbilt heirs? Also taken.

    OK, I’m stumped. Run out of ideas. Need more Laphroaig to inspire me. Back in a bit.

  53. 53.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @RalfW:

    Er, wait, actually I wonder what the f*ck the GOP has put in their crack pipes.

    Probably crystal meth. It’s the paranoia that gives it away.

  55. 55.

    gaz

    Welcome!, and fair warning for I fear Odie has pretty much nailed it

    Since you are here, I wonder if you might take a moment to peruse the variety of lovely stalkers/trolls/sock-puppets. We have an assortment of them to choose from, including crazy, vile, or dumb!

    Please pick your issue and rant accordingly.
    1. Homosexuality, -> stalker #1
    2. The Taliban -> stalker #2
    3. Anything not covered by 1 or 2 -> stalker #3, except:
    4. Race -> all three – with a free troll or 2 thrown in.

    For extra credit, rant about

    Glenn Greenwald -> and you will receive the full brigade of flying monkeys/stalkers from GG’s page at salon, and LOGM (aka a thousand points of white)

    I hope this brief orientation has been informative, and sincerely wish you luck with your new “friend(s)” =)

  56. 56.

    Betty Cracker

    @Phylllis: Originally from Citrus County, though I live closer to your stomping grounds now. I’m also a native — 5th generation. Looking forward to live blogging the GOP convention from a kayak.

  60. 60.

    Anne Laurie

    Welcome, Betty Cracker! More stupid-shaming is always a good thing… although, let’s be honest, it’s hard to shame true stupid. But at least we can mock.

  61. 61.

    Chat Noir

    Welcome, Betty. Glad to see you’ll be posting here.

    And adorable boxers are adorable. A friend of mine in high school had a boxer named Missy who was one of the sweetest dogs ever. I have loved boxers ever since.

  62. 62.

    Skippy the Wondermule

    Sugar, a woman named Betty Cracker can get away with saying things Beaulah B. Dignity NEVER could, I think you’re lucky :)

  67. 67.

    geg6

    Don’t know you, Betty, but I’m happy to make your acquaintance. I know I’ll love you since you hit two of my favorite topics in your first post: cooking and puppehs!

  68. 68.

    cmorenc

    @Violet:

    Can you freeze a bean soup? I’ve got a ham bone leftover from Christmas that I’d like to use in a soup, but I know I’ll have tons of leftovers and don’t know if they’d freeze well.

    Yes, ham and bean soups freeze well. One sometime-soup vegetable that doesn’t is potato, but potato isn’t used in ham-bean or collard-ham-bean soups.

  69. 69.

    Svensker

    @Violet:

    Can you freeze a bean soup? I’ve got a ham bone leftover from Christmas that I’d like to use in a soup, but I know I’ll have tons of leftovers and don’t know if they’d freeze well.

    You didn’t ask me but, yes, yes, you can. They freeze very well, in fact.

  71. 71.

    Yutsano

    @TooManyJens: Thank you for beating me to the answer. :) That’s what I get for mindlessly watching Nigella Lawson on YouTube.

    @Violet: Bean soup freezes and re-heats BEAUTIFULLY!!

  72. 72.

    cmorenc

    @kindness:

    How would a vegan fix collard greens? (no, I’m not a vegan, just curious)

    Just boil ’em, add spices to suit (I like mine a bit hot-peppery). Collards are extremely simple to prepare by themselves, though they do go especially well with ham or bacon, which compatibly enhance the tangy flavor of collards.

  73. 73.

    trollhattan

    Must add for any Juicers who’ve not read Betty elsewhere: drape your monitors and keyboards in Visqueen before reading her posts. Just do it (sometimes it’s not even safe to view the accompanying artwork).

  74. 74.

    JCJ

    Wait, how come nobody has said “Fuck You!” yet? The manners of the Juicers is slipping!

    Also, Welcome!

  75. 75.

    gaz

    @JCJ: Ssssh. We’ve revised the hazing ritual. We have something special planned.

    Edit: Adding, NEW FISH! NEW FISH!

  76. 76.

    Arm The Homeless

    HOLA BETTY!

    Representin’ the Panhandle, What-what!

    So does this mean we can look forward to a Jucitariat meet-up in the SE now? On the up-side, the weather is nice, on the down-side we will have a hell of a time getting any New Belgium beer.

  77. 77.

    daize

    Yay, Betty! Welcome.

    I think you should post the “Does this sweater make my ass look big” Dogs Against Mitt Romney photo of your beautiful doggies.

  78. 78.

    Kola Noscopy

    Welcome Betty Cracker!

    Love your nym, and I love to cook too. Got a killer recipe for gumbo, ettouffe, or something like that?

    Also too, what are your thoughts on Paula Grifter Deen and her style of Southern cooking, not to mention her newly revealed diabetes? :D

  79. 79.

    ruemara

    @kindness: Boil collards? Um, saute with olive oil and simmer, not boil. Pan fry some vegan bacon that has been minced with onions and minced garlic. When collards are nice and tender, add in bacon, onions and minced garlic. Season with pepper, sage and parsley (small amount). Garnish with fresh tomatoes. Or a bit of shredded cheese.

    Edited to reflect: WELCOME BETTY! Love the Rumpers and yourself. And the name always made me crack a smile.

  80. 80.

    MikeJ

    @Arm The Homeless:

    On the up-side, the weather is nice, on the down-side we will have a hell of a time getting any New Belgium beer.

    Interestingly (or not), I laid in supplies last night, but not because I expected nice weather.

  82. 82.

    Violet

    Thanks everyone for the comments on freezing bean soups! I’ll have to make mine. What sort of soup should I make? I was thinking a white bean.

  86. 86.

    kindness

    @cmorenc: Thank you. Yes I use ham hocks but someone upthread mentioned collard greens and for whatever reason I wondered how you’d cook them without the oils (fat) from the pork products I use with them.

    @gaz: I’d like to request a photoshop of that Red State Trike Force picture for BJ’ers.

  89. 89.

    Hal

    Upstate New York in the house! Buffalo, Rochester, um, Lackawanna? I think a lot of people assume New York ends at Albany, and Albany is a suburb of Manhattan.

  91. 91.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    Welcome Betty (and I am glad you are still going to be posting at Rumproast). For anyone not familiar with Betty’s snark you are all in for a treat. If you have not seen her Rush Limbaugh claymation video it is a joy to behold.

  93. 93.

    Geeno

    @Hal: Rochester,baby! Married to a Syracuse girl, and a Bills season ticket holder (that renewal died this year – they’re just killin’ me now).
    Go Amerks!

  95. 95.

    Comrade Mary

    Hey, Betty! Nice to see you here!

    May I offer you a small, flattened Cuban tree frog as a token of my affection?

  96. 96.

    CaseyL

    Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, Betty. It’s very considerate of you to already have at least one (1) Cute Animal Companion, so BJ Management didn’t have to requisition one for you :)

  97. 97.

    eastriver

    Jesus, JC finally got some taste.

    Welcome aboard, Missy Cracker. Big fan.

    Be sure to keep the words small. Generally Stuck won’t always have a dictionary at hand.

    Keep on Crackin’.

  99. 99.

    HumboldtBlue

    Fuck you, Cole, fuck you like a vagrant mountain man lusting after your lily-white ass and re-enacting selected scenes from Deliverance.

    You can’t handle your own goddamned blog and keep dipshits, morons and general fumbledicks at bay so you go a-poaching for the smart, the sassy and the hilarious we have carefully cultivated over the years.

    Lazy motherfucking country-ass Steeler fan, I hope you choke on the hair from Keisel’s beard and drown in a pool of Roethlisberger’s flop sweat. Fucking poacher.

    Hey, Betty! Great to see ya hon, these babaloons need some goddamned sense in their snark so don’t hold back.

  101. 101.

    kc

    Welcome, Ms. Cracker! I’ve enjoyed your work on Rumproast. Didn’t you have another blog before that as well?

  105. 105.

    Arm The Homeless

    @HumboldtBlue: We will give you a Moko-Loko, three of her sock-puppets, a pedo-bear and three ounces of pocket-lint in trade. I may be able to go as high as a five-pack of Bud Light Lime and an asthmatic cat, but I will have to check with my manager first.

  106. 106.

    RalfW

    Who knew The Donald would tell the truth!?

    the revival opened with a video address from Donald Trump, who declared that the world “is laughing at the stupidity of our leaders. They’re absolutely taking us to the cleaners.”

    Yeah, he probably meant Obama, but its absolutely classic Republican projection!

  107. 107.

    Arm The Homeless

    @MikeJ: You have made my evening. I will not have any of your tasty beer (at least without having to go into Georgia to get it) but I will live vicariously through your pictures.

  109. 109.

    Kevin K.

    @HumboldtBlue: Just for the record, ding dong, John didn’t poach. I encouraged this and I’m overjoyed about it. Betty’s a terrific (and damn funny) writer and deserves a wider audience. She’s also a perfect fit for BJ. All of you folks who aren’t familiar with her are in for a real treat.

  110. 110.

    JR in WVa

    @Betty Cracker:

    What a nice agenda!

    I grew up with a ginger boxer named Ginger, who walked me to grade school and showed up right on time to walk me back, whenever I was allowed to walk to school…

    I, too, lived in Florida, Key West 1970-72, and then my parents had a winter place near Venice, and so we spent a good bit of time there. Shame how development in FL was untrammeled, but there you go, money to be made!

    Keep up the Snark, and work hard at showing how crazy the Repugnant monkeys are, and all will be well!

    J. R.

    PS: We need to know what you drink for special occasions, like the election of G W Bush, the nomination of Queen of the Frozen North, the winning of the Orange Bowl, etc.

    That is all.

  114. 114.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Kevin K.: Thanks, Kev, thanks a fucking lot, now go back to your Brooklyn pizza oven and start singing Italian lamentations about your dead Uncle Luigi, big dumb jerk.

    And stop trying to cover for a wannabe yinzer, Cole isn’t some goddamned innocent bent on deflowering the Santorum girls, he’s a fucking Steelers fan, bandwagon-jumping-hayseed-flicking-coal-ash-snorting former tanker.

    They put the stupid people in tanks, you know that, right?

  116. 116.

    HumboldtBlue

    Oh, and Kev? Save your goddamned morality lessons and internet knowledge bombs for Politico, bastard.

    What’s next? Polly becomes the BJ resident artist? Oblo as theater critic? YAFB as foreign correpsondent? You’re the goddamned Bain Capital of the snarkosphere, Kev, AND I HATE YOU!

  117. 117.

    Schlemizel

    Thank you for not having your doggy ‘docked’ people go on & on about declawing cats but think nothing of dogs having their ears and tails whacked off for the enjoyment of the owner.

  122. 122.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Amir Khalid: Oh blow me bitch, you tone-deaf fuckwhistle, I gotcher troll right here under my left nut you funk-ass billy goat now go play in traffic.

  123. 123.

    cbear

    Great to have you here, Betty–been reading you for years over at the Rump. BJ needs a new infusion of primo-grade snark and you’re just the lady for the job.

    Also, too, I’m just across the way from you in Volusia County.

  124. 124.

    Amir Khalid

    @HumboldtBlue:
    We get a decent variety here of stalkers, monomaniacs, wingnuts and attention-seekers; but there’s always room for someone like you who can fling incoherent abuse with so much energy. Do make yourself at home here. I hope you find the facilities to your liking.

  126. 126.

    izzy

    Is anyone following the rumors of a bombshell interview by Newt’s ex-wife? See the headlines on drudgereport..

  127. 127.

    Amir Khalid

    @HumboldtBlue:
    I can see that you’re settling in just fine. That’s wonderful.

    Oh. One more thing. When you have to get around the place, we’ll be happy to help you. As I’m sure you understand, the safety regulations require that we strap you securely to the gurney and put the hockey mask on you, so that you don’t bite anyone. I promise, we won’t pull the straps too tight. Your comfort is very important to us, you know.

  129. 129.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Amir Khalid: I half-suspect that m_c is a sock puppet you created in order make yourself look saintly.

    Also too, a laurel and hearty welcome to Betty Cracker.

  130. 130.

    gaz

    It sure didn’t take long for Kola’s shoes to get filled here, did it?

    We just barely got done running him off.

    What’s the turnaround time on trolls here, like 8 hours?

  134. 134.

    quannlace

    the safety regulations require that we strap you securely to the gurney and put t

    Shouldn’t that be in a dog carrier, strapped to the top of the family van?

  135. 135.

    Lawnguylander

    Betty’s first stalker will be a cilantroll. And a Yankee Fan. And a bitter Bill Richardson supporter from ’08. And still outraged at Don Cornelius for letting Kurtis Blow appear on Soul Train that time in like, ’83. Might as well preemptively ban all the [email protected] lovers right away to avoid much unpleasantness in the future. Here at least you’re not posting on the blog of a guy who fucking cultivates [email protected] on his fucking balcony so you could probably get away with it.

  136. 136.

    Amir Khalid

    @quannlace:
    The gurney is for getting around within the facility. We will of course be using the dog carrier on the van for day trips outside, but only once HumboldtBlue has earned that privilege.

  137. 137.

    Montana

    Great – love your style.

    Oh, and fuck the trolls and bring back ABL…although she seems to be holding her own at ABL Chronicles.

  138. 138.

    Comrade Mary

    @HumboldtBlue: Oh, hai, HB!

    Guys? If you don’t know the commentariat at RR, don’t be too quick to make assumptions about HumboldtBlue, who is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life. Or so I’ve been told.

  139. 139.

    PurpleGirl

    Welcome. Looking forward to your posts. And pets!…

    As you probably know, BJers are always pleased to see pet pix.

  140. 140.

    Whatsleft

    Welcome Betty! Thrilled to see another several-generation Floridian in the house. I’m thinking’ we’re surely kin of some sort, so hey there cousin :-)

  142. 142.

    HumboldtBlue

    Mary, good to see ya, don’t mind the fuck knuckles, stupid is sadly a notorious by-product on the intertoobz along with stupid motherfuckers who believe their words typed on a screen actually mean something in the real world. That’s why they fuck the goats Mickey Kaus blows, it’s a circle of life thing.

    And Lawn? I see what you did there, bastard.

  143. 143.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Comrade Mary: I know, but he(?) is doing such a good job and, if he(?) can keep up the fake trollery, mebbe the real ones will be intimidated and our nice new FPer won’t get broken so quickly. Thanks for letting the cat out of the bag; this is why we can’t have nice things.

  144. 144.

    gaz

    Wait, so Betty Cracker comes with her own (fake) trolls?

    She’s ABL, you guys are shinin’ me on!

    And isn’t a (fake) troll, still a troll, sorta by definition?

    Or are there real trolls, that *also* troll on teh intertubez?

    I’m so confused now =/

  145. 145.

    Comrade Mary

    This is where I’m supposed to feel guilty, right?

    /checks

    Sorry, I think I left my conscience in my other trousers. Can I get back to you on that?

    Oh, and the Humboldt in HumboldtBlue stands for Humboldt figurines. TRUE STORY.

    In short: you break him, you buy him. Be careful out there.

  146. 146.

    Amir Khalid

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I look forward to HumboldtBlue’s interactions with our longer-established friends like BO_Bill, Kola Noscopy and, um, what’s Derf calling himself these days?

  147. 147.

    Comrade Mary

    I am eating cilantro RIGHT NOW. And will be putting cilantro in the curry simmering downstairs when I’m ready NOMNOMNOM …

  154. 154.

    CaseyL

    @gaz:

    And isn’t a (fake) troll, still a troll, sorta by definition?

    I’m starting to feel the approach of an event horizon; a black hole of infinite regression into which the real trolls, fake trolls, sock puppets, and fake sock puppets are pushing us.

    @Yutsano:

    And now the whole state is pretty much shut down. Awesome.

    Seriously? Wow.

    The office where I work was closed today; I don’t see how it can stay closed tomorrow. There’re deadlines we have to meet.

  156. 156.

    Yutsano

    @Comrade Mary: Don’t make me less than three you even more than I already do. :)

    And I am a cilantro evangelist. But it’s a love or hate sort of herb really. Poor coriander. It didn’t ask to be so tasty.

    @CaseyL: They canceled schools already tomorrow on the east side. And it looks like more snow going through tomorrow, so what’s on the roads already ain’t going nowhere. I’m mocking Wazzu with some other alums on FB right now. Wusses have no idea what snow in Pullman really is if you’re not in class for it. :)

  157. 157.

    Heliumaddict

    Bonus round! I love you over at Rumproast, and now I can get even more chuckles at Balloon Juice. Great to have you here!

  160. 160.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @marindenver: We don’t share very well. Lots of only children, I think. I, myself, do have a younger brother, but, since he is over six years younger, I probably developed many characteristics of an only before he was born. O

    Or as the sea gulls said in Finding Nemo, “Mine!”

  165. 165.

    Friday Jones

    I, too, hail from rural Florida. And as I didn’t leave until my mid-to-late 20s, I didn’t know that “cracker” was a derogatory term elsewhere in the U.S.A., because it’s not derogatory (at least it didn’t used to be) in Florida and Georgia. My dad always called us “Florida crackers” which was a term that essentially meant “poor white country people”. This was to differentiate us from the rednecks, which we definitely were not.

  171. 171.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    Damn, I hate those clerical errors.

    Because of one of these errors, while I still feel like a 20-year old DFH, I appear to have become an old bald fat white guy, You know, the one who was the department head at that job you hated. The guy who can’t understand anything you say and keeps telling you to talk slower. The one who always drives slow in the fast lane. That guy.

  173. 173.

    Gus

    Been reading you with pleasure on Rump Roast for some time. And I love your pups! Boxers look so badass, but I’ve never met one that wasn’t a total sweetheart.

  178. 178.

    Chuck Butcher

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    It is, in reality, in the garage since we got about 3 inches of snow last night here in NE OR.

    Madison might see me when temps get to that balmy 80s, I need to see parents in N MI. As commutes go, it is a long one even when it is warm.

  181. 181.

    Lyrebird

    @kindness: Actually if you boil collards very briefly — like 5 min, you might say “blanch” rather than “boil” — they make delicious wraps, and they’re easy to chop and toss into bean soup at the last minute!

    Thinly sliced blanched collards are great in miso soup and also with pasta.

    yum! (plus sometimes my CSA has them, bonus!)

  184. 184.

    Mrs. Polly

    Once and for all, Balloon Juicers:

    My esteemed co-blogger and friend Betty Cracker is a Roastazon.

    She dips her Roastazon toes into two pools now, because she has two feet, and bestrides the Blogosphere like a proper Wonder of the World. You are fortunate beyond all imaginings in having her grace your front page, but if you seek more of her than we are willing to share, There. Will. Be. Blood.

    Or Food. Not sure I can keep my mind on a BlogWar with our Sister Blog when I’m hungry. CilantroFix, please…..

    Congratz, Betty!

  185. 185.

    dance around in your bones

    ♪ ♫ Betty, Betty Cracker, Queen of the Wild Frontier ♪ ♫

    Bienvenidos a Balloon Juice!

  188. 188.

    Suezboo

    Etiquette-wise, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say Welcome to you, Betty.I’m a Professional Lurker(standard grade) and I suspect this is my first comment here.
    So, let us join hands together and leap into the murky (hoo boy)waters that are BJ with its bizarre preoccupations (veggies?), injokes and massive bouts of internecine warfare.And cursed be she that first cries “Hold it”.
    Good Luck, hon.
    Oh, and kilometre-wise, I may be even further away – how does South Africa feature?

  192. 192.

    Amir Khalid

    @Schlemizel:
    As I’ve now learned, you might be actually right. But I would still love to see HumboldtBlue bring the hammer down on our resident trolls.

  196. 196.

    Betty Cracker

    @Geeno: Buffalo. But he’s been here so long he’s a bigger weenie about the cold (65 degrees! aaeeiii!) than I am.

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