Possibly due to a clerical error, I was invited to become part of the fantastic Balloon Juice team. It’s a bit like being the obscure governor of a low-population state who is suddenly thrust into the national spotlight, only hopefully less dumb, evil and screechy.
I know some of you from Rumproast, where I’ve been posting for a few years now, and from my occasional forays into the comments here at Balloon Juice. Pets? I got ‘em — Daisy (fawn) and Patsy (brindle):
[Do not adjust your screen settings; the dog on the right is a rare tailed boxer]
A word about my internet handle: Although I am a white woman from rural Florida, I didn’t choose it to convey that. It’s a nickname my husband (an Upstate New Yorker) gave me because of my down-home cooking.
If I had it to do over again, I’d probably choose something a little less fraught, but what’s done is done.
Anyhoo, hello. And please feel free to treat this as an open thread.
gogol's wife
Oh goody more puppehs. Welcome.
Dave S.
Great to see you here! Will you still be posting at Rumproast?
jacy
Yello!
Boxers are fine, fine dogs. Never met one who wasn’t an absolute darling.
(And you won’t be a true FP’r till the moment someone starts obsessively posting about how shrill and thin-skinned you are. Give it a few minutes.)
dmsilev
Welcome to the insane asylum!
Brandon
When I first saw the name, I thought this post was written by a new DougJ monniker to discuss something ABL related. Let’s see if how soon before you get pilloried by the same bitters who trolled every ABL post. It is like a science experiment for me. What if ABL were white….
Maude
Great to see you here.
Don’t think I’m going on a cruise anytime soon.
Anya
A very warm welcome, Betty Cracker!
floridafrog
Welcome Betty, I’ve enjoyed your posts at Rumproast – glad to see you here, too.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
You’re shrill and thin-skinned.
MikeJ
Hurrah! Greetz to the rumpsters.
(Another option, still old, just slightly less so.)
pragmatism
i, for one, welcome our new blogging overlord. if you’re half the chef your uppity husband thinks you are, you gotta have a themomix. which is cool.
trollhattan
Dayumn Betty, I’ll follow you anywhere, casserole or no casserole. Welcome, and to the boxers too, natch!
Poopyman
Tell me about fraught screen names.
Anyway, welcome! Don’t drink up all the scotch and you’ll do OK.
p.a.
welcome!
Odie Hugh Manatee
We welcome
John’s new victimsour new front pagers withour curare-tipped knivesopen arms.Good luck, your personal B-J stalker will be along soon. ;)
@Brandon: “What if ABL were white….”
Talk about an easy question to answer…lol!
Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!
Welcome, Betty Cracker! Personally, I like your handle and find it charming.
Look forward to you developing your voice here at Balloon Juice. I’m sure your jitters will gradually melt away as you get into the swing of things.
My only criticism so far is that you are not, unfortunately, a Westie owner… but alas, that is rather rare.
What are some of the things you are interested in and tend to blog about?
If you run out of ideas, those crazy Republicans are always reliable about providing grist for the mill….
Chyron HR
You’re just taking care of them until they can phone home, right?
Yutsano
PUPPEHS!!
And yokusou Betty! (I can call you Betty right?)
Jebediah
Howdy and welcome! Cute pups – they look very skeptical…
Rosalita
so you will share pet pics and recipes? Welcome!!
cmorenc
Speaking of down-home cooking, I fixed a pot of collards-and-country-ham-and-white-bean soup just yesterday evening. Delicious! That sounds like something right up “Betty Cracker”‘s alley, except you’d probably be able to whip up an even better version of it than mine.
Anya
@Brandon: It’s not going to have the same intensity. The way they see it, ABL’s support for POTUS is emotional and tribalistic, you know on the account that she’s black. But Betty Cracker’s support can be reasoned with and challenged in a semi-rational way because it’s based on ideology or loyalty to the party or even pragmatism.
The Moar You Know
You didn’t start off with a post full of rage and unsourced allegations, so you’re already off to a better start than the last
socially dysfunctional malcontentfront pager, so that’s a good thing. Welcome aboard!Sarah Proud and Tall
Hooray! Welcome, Mrs Cracker…
If you can convince Cole to put your name on the masthead, can you get him to put mine on there while he’s at it?
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
I give it about ten minutes.
Poopyman
@Yutsano: Only if she can call you Al, is my guess.
EconWatcher
Welcome!
Just a word of advice: Whatever you do, don’t mention Helen Thomas. Long story.
Amir Khalid
Selamat datang ke Balloon Juice.
From possibly the most foreign commenter in the joint.
flukebucket
You aren’t angry are you?
Mike Goetz
Hilarious stuff:
“In the latest New York Times/CBS News poll, 60 percent say Mr. Obama is attempting to work with Congressional Republicans to try to accomplish something; 27 percent say Republicans in Congress are making the same effort to work things out with the president.”
27-damn-%. It never fails. Spooky.
Ben Cisco
Greetings, Betty.
__
May the Prophets guide your path.
MikeJ
@EconWatcher: Sloooooowly I turn….
Joy
Glad to see you here! I love your snarky humor.
Anya
@Odie Hugh Manatee: Maybe Samara Morgan will transition from ED.
Violet
Welcome aboard! Your puppies are adorable. I love boxers. All the ones I’ve known have been great dogs.
@cmorenc:
Can you freeze a bean soup? I’ve got a ham bone leftover from Christmas that I’d like to use in a soup, but I know I’ll have tons of leftovers and don’t know if they’d freeze well.
hhex65
Well, dumb & evil are ok– it’s only ‘screechy’ that is unforgivable.
scav
@Amir Khalid: Now now, we surely get some from different planets, if not irregularly tangent universes, but we will award you the gold star for terrestrial distance traveled. I echo your welcome, only I’m from left field. Must be sort of a stereo echo then, with a bit of a long-distance lag to it.
David Hunt
Welcome
Betty Cracker
@Dave S.: Absolutely!
El Tiburon
Few rules here BC. Okay?
1. You must, and I mean must, reply to comments on your posts. It’s best to jump in by the 4th or 5th comment, then somewhere in the middle would be fine.
2. Although we are permitted and encouraged to be sophomoric and use potty language and question your existence, you are not afforded the same indulgences.
3. If you feel the heat from the rabble, simply insult Jane Hamsher or Glen Greenwald. If you are really getting shat upon, insist you would not sex up Greenwald even with Hamsher’s penis.
4. Don’t make it personal with us. That is our job. You got it?
That’s all I got.
Phylllis
Welcome. Cute pup-pups.
What general area of rural Fla, may I ask. Not to stalk or anything, just curious. I’m a native Floridian,
from Bradenton/Manatee County.
kindness
@cmorenc: How would a vegan fix collard greens? (no, I’m not a vegan, just curious)
And Betty, may the FSM grace your every meal.
Geeno
@Sarah Proud and Tall: Can I stalk Betty? I love good cooking. It’s why I’m fat.
Betty Cracker
@Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!: Politics (specifically, wingnut mockery and general stupid-shaming) has been my most frequent topic as a blogger, but I branch out into pets, food, booze, music and miscellany too.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Sarah Proud and Tall:
As usual, forever the optimist. ;)
J.
I didn’t reckon you for a masochist, Betty.
Betty Cracker
@Chyron HR: I have noticed the resemblance to ET as well — especially from that angle.
RalfW
That POTUS to Betty White thing over at Rumproast? Awesome.
Whenever I see stuff like that I just think “What an evil, conniving, America-hating soc1alist that Barack Obama is.”
Er, wait, actually I wonder what the f*ck the GOP has put in their crack pipes.
TG Chicago
Hi, Betty Cracker. If you’re not wild about your name, you could always follow the likes of Tim F., Dennis G, and DougJ.
How do you like Betty C.?
Betty Cracker
@Rosalita: Yes, and yes! My dogs are weirdly averse to being photographed (maybe they’re Amish?), but cheese always does the trick.
Betty Cracker
@Yutsano: Please do.
Villago Delenda Est
OK, now we have to determine why Betty’s (btw, welcome, Betty!)stalker will be stalking her.
Will it be cudlipness? Oh, wait, that’s taken.
Will it be anger? Nope, that’s taken too.
Will it be hanging out with Vanderbilt heirs? Also taken.
OK, I’m stumped. Run out of ideas. Need more Laphroaig to inspire me. Back in a bit.
Betty Cracker
@Sarah Proud and Tall: Thank you, and I’ll see what I can do.
Villago Delenda Est
@RalfW:
Probably crystal meth. It’s the paranoia that gives it away.
jayboat
Welcome, Betty!
Would you mind helping us out with some pie?
gaz
Welcome!, and fair warning for I fear Odie has pretty much nailed it
Since you are here, I wonder if you might take a moment to peruse the variety of lovely stalkers/trolls/sock-puppets. We have an assortment of them to choose from, including crazy, vile, or dumb!
Please pick your issue and rant accordingly.
1. Homosexuality, -> stalker #1
2. The Taliban -> stalker #2
3. Anything not covered by 1 or 2 -> stalker #3, except:
4. Race -> all three – with a free troll or 2 thrown in.
For extra credit, rant about
Glenn Greenwald -> and you will receive the full brigade of flying monkeys/stalkers from GG’s page at salon, and LOGM (aka a thousand points of white)
I hope this brief orientation has been informative, and sincerely wish you luck with your new “friend(s)” =)
Betty Cracker
@Phylllis: Originally from Citrus County, though I live closer to your stomping grounds now. I’m also a native — 5th generation. Looking forward to live blogging the GOP convention from a kayak.
MattF
I’ve read some of your posts. You’ll fit right in.
Sarah Proud and Tall
@Geeno:
Yes, you can stalk her, but the position we are trying to fill involves vitriolic and noisy criticism, so if you want to do worship it’s going to have to be an unpaid intern gig.
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
I do try.
kindness
@gaz: Quite the pep talk. You make it sound like this blog is filled with nothing but stalkers & trolls.
Anne Laurie
Welcome, Betty Cracker! More stupid-shaming is always a good thing… although, let’s be honest, it’s hard to shame true stupid. But at least we can mock.
Chat Noir
Welcome, Betty. Glad to see you’ll be posting here.
And adorable boxers are adorable. A friend of mine in high school had a boxer named Missy who was one of the sweetest dogs ever. I have loved boxers ever since.
Skippy the Wondermule
Sugar, a woman named Betty Cracker can get away with saying things Beaulah B. Dignity NEVER could, I think you’re lucky :)
ABL
AWESOME.
middlewest
So Rumproast is turning into the Gil Mann show? Oh, well.
gaz
@kindness: it was snark.
I guess I felt I could leave the training wheels off of that post.
It turns out I guess I was wrong.
TooManyJens
@Violet: You absolutely can freeze a bean soup. I love having a stash of frozen soup for easy winter meals.
geg6
Don’t know you, Betty, but I’m happy to make your acquaintance. I know I’ll love you since you hit two of my favorite topics in your first post: cooking and puppehs!
cmorenc
@Violet:
Yes, ham and bean soups freeze well. One sometime-soup vegetable that doesn’t is potato, but potato isn’t used in ham-bean or collard-ham-bean soups.
Svensker
@Violet:
You didn’t ask me but, yes, yes, you can. They freeze very well, in fact.
gaz
Your puppehs make me want some.
And I’m a committed cat person.
Super adorbs x eleventybillion
Yutsano
@TooManyJens: Thank you for beating me to the answer. :) That’s what I get for mindlessly watching Nigella Lawson on YouTube.
@Violet: Bean soup freezes and re-heats BEAUTIFULLY!!
cmorenc
@kindness:
Just boil ’em, add spices to suit (I like mine a bit hot-peppery). Collards are extremely simple to prepare by themselves, though they do go especially well with ham or bacon, which compatibly enhance the tangy flavor of collards.
trollhattan
Must add for any Juicers who’ve not read Betty elsewhere: drape your monitors and keyboards in Visqueen before reading her posts. Just do it (sometimes it’s not even safe to view the accompanying artwork).
JCJ
Wait, how come nobody has said “Fuck You!” yet? The manners of the Juicers is slipping!
Also, Welcome!
gaz
@JCJ: Ssssh. We’ve revised the hazing ritual. We have something special planned.
Edit: Adding, NEW FISH! NEW FISH!
Arm The Homeless
HOLA BETTY!
Representin’ the Panhandle, What-what!
So does this mean we can look forward to a Jucitariat meet-up in the SE now? On the up-side, the weather is nice, on the down-side we will have a hell of a time getting any New Belgium beer.
daize
Yay, Betty! Welcome.
I think you should post the “Does this sweater make my ass look big” Dogs Against Mitt Romney photo of your beautiful doggies.
Kola Noscopy
Welcome Betty Cracker!
Love your nym, and I love to cook too. Got a killer recipe for gumbo, ettouffe, or something like that?
Also too, what are your thoughts on Paula Grifter Deen and her style of Southern cooking, not to mention her newly revealed diabetes? :D
ruemara
@kindness: Boil collards? Um, saute with olive oil and simmer, not boil. Pan fry some vegan bacon that has been minced with onions and minced garlic. When collards are nice and tender, add in bacon, onions and minced garlic. Season with pepper, sage and parsley (small amount). Garnish with fresh tomatoes. Or a bit of shredded cheese.
Edited to reflect: WELCOME BETTY! Love the Rumpers and yourself. And the name always made me crack a smile.
MikeJ
@Arm The Homeless:
Interestingly (or not), I laid in supplies last night, but not because I expected nice weather.
dave
@Violet: I freeze bean soup all the time, usually in 1-2 cup containers for subsequent lunches!
Violet
Thanks everyone for the comments on freezing bean soups! I’ll have to make mine. What sort of soup should I make? I was thinking a white bean.
harlana
with his lil neck stretched out like that, dog on right reminds me a little of E.T. =)
LowProfileinGA
@Anya: White, you mean.
Geeno
Oh, Betty, as an upstate NYer myself, where’s the spousal unit from?
kindness
@cmorenc: Thank you. Yes I use ham hocks but someone upthread mentioned collard greens and for whatever reason I wondered how you’d cook them without the oils (fat) from the pork products I use with them.
@gaz: I’d like to request a photoshop of that Red State Trike Force picture for BJ’ers.
Yutsano
@Violet: A white bean with a mirepoix and a ham hock. Oh and a bay leaf. Trust me. :)
arguingwithsignposts
@JCJ: I had the same thought
Hal
Upstate New York in the house! Buffalo, Rochester, um, Lackawanna? I think a lot of people assume New York ends at Albany, and Albany is a suburb of Manhattan.
MikeJ
@kindness: Photoshop? We need blingees on balloon-juice.
Litlebritdifrnt
Welcome Betty (and I am glad you are still going to be posting at Rumproast). For anyone not familiar with Betty’s snark you are all in for a treat. If you have not seen her Rush Limbaugh claymation video it is a joy to behold.
gimmeabreak
Congrats, Betty, dear!
Geeno
@Hal: Rochester,baby! Married to a Syracuse girl, and a Bills season ticket holder (that renewal died this year – they’re just killin’ me now).
Go Amerks!
General Stuck
Welcome Betty! you big Obot :-)
Comrade Mary
Hey, Betty! Nice to see you here!
May I offer you a small, flattened Cuban tree frog as a token of my affection?
CaseyL
Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, Betty. It’s very considerate of you to already have at least one (1) Cute Animal Companion, so BJ Management didn’t have to requisition one for you :)
eastriver
Jesus, JC finally got some taste.
Welcome aboard, Missy Cracker. Big fan.
Be sure to keep the words small. Generally Stuck won’t always have a dictionary at hand.
Keep on Crackin’.
General Stuck
@eastriver:
I don’t need no dictionary to call you a moron, moron
HumboldtBlue
Fuck you, Cole, fuck you like a vagrant mountain man lusting after your lily-white ass and re-enacting selected scenes from Deliverance.
You can’t handle your own goddamned blog and keep dipshits, morons and general fumbledicks at bay so you go a-poaching for the smart, the sassy and the hilarious we have carefully cultivated over the years.
Lazy motherfucking country-ass Steeler fan, I hope you choke on the hair from Keisel’s beard and drown in a pool of Roethlisberger’s flop sweat. Fucking poacher.
Hey, Betty! Great to see ya hon, these babaloons need some goddamned sense in their snark so don’t hold back.
eastriver
@General Stuck: @General Stuck:
(see what’s I mean, Betty? not so much writing as typing. a keyboard’s a terrible thing to waste.)
kc
Welcome, Ms. Cracker! I’ve enjoyed your work on Rumproast. Didn’t you have another blog before that as well?
brendancalling
hmmmm.
WereBear
This is weird; I grew up in Central Florida, now live in upstate NY, and had a boxer watch over me as a baby.
Welcome!
RoonieRoo
Welcome! Beautiful boxers.
Arm The Homeless
@HumboldtBlue: We will give you a Moko-Loko, three of her sock-puppets, a pedo-bear and three ounces of pocket-lint in trade. I may be able to go as high as a five-pack of Bud Light Lime and an asthmatic cat, but I will have to check with my manager first.
RalfW
Who knew The Donald would tell the truth!?
Yeah, he probably meant Obama, but its absolutely classic Republican projection!
Arm The Homeless
@MikeJ: You have made my evening. I will not have any of your tasty beer (at least without having to go into Georgia to get it) but I will live vicariously through your pictures.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
Welcome!
Kevin K.
@HumboldtBlue: Just for the record, ding dong, John didn’t poach. I encouraged this and I’m overjoyed about it. Betty’s a terrific (and damn funny) writer and deserves a wider audience. She’s also a perfect fit for BJ. All of you folks who aren’t familiar with her are in for a real treat.
JR in WVa
@Betty Cracker:
What a nice agenda!
I grew up with a ginger boxer named Ginger, who walked me to grade school and showed up right on time to walk me back, whenever I was allowed to walk to school…
I, too, lived in Florida, Key West 1970-72, and then my parents had a winter place near Venice, and so we spent a good bit of time there. Shame how development in FL was untrammeled, but there you go, money to be made!
Keep up the Snark, and work hard at showing how crazy the Repugnant monkeys are, and all will be well!
J. R.
PS: We need to know what you drink for special occasions, like the election of G W Bush, the nomination of Queen of the Frozen North, the winning of the Orange Bowl, etc.
That is all.
middlewest
Responses to the wikipedia blackout, hilarious:
https://twitter.com/#!/herpderpedia
elftx
Welcome to BJ Theatre !!
Soonergrunt
Welcome to the Nut House! The cattle prods they issued us don’t work.
HumboldtBlue
@Kevin K.: Thanks, Kev, thanks a fucking lot, now go back to your Brooklyn pizza oven and start singing Italian lamentations about your dead Uncle Luigi, big dumb jerk.
And stop trying to cover for a wannabe yinzer, Cole isn’t some goddamned innocent bent on deflowering the Santorum girls, he’s a fucking Steelers fan, bandwagon-jumping-hayseed-flicking-coal-ash-snorting former tanker.
They put the stupid people in tanks, you know that, right?
AliceBlue
Heyyyy, Betty! (From one blue gal in a red southern state to another).
HumboldtBlue
Oh, and Kev? Save your goddamned morality lessons and internet knowledge bombs for Politico, bastard.
What’s next? Polly becomes the BJ resident artist? Oblo as theater critic? YAFB as foreign correpsondent? You’re the goddamned Bain Capital of the snarkosphere, Kev, AND I HATE YOU!
Schlemizel
Thank you for not having your doggy ‘docked’ people go on & on about declawing cats but think nothing of dogs having their ears and tails whacked off for the enjoyment of the owner.
Comrade Mary
As long as we’re pillaging RR, can we has Biscuit?
Fucen Pneumatic Fuck Wrench Tarmal
so, this thing here, is a little rump on the side?
Lojasmo
Yo, Betty! Welcome!
For the record, installing a garage door opener at 15 degrees sucks.
Amir Khalid
@HumboldtBlue:
And a hearty Balloon Juice welcome to the new troll.
HumboldtBlue
@Amir Khalid: Oh blow me bitch, you tone-deaf fuckwhistle, I gotcher troll right here under my left nut you funk-ass billy goat now go play in traffic.
cbear
Great to have you here, Betty–been reading you for years over at the Rump. BJ needs a new infusion of primo-grade snark and you’re just the lady for the job.
Also, too, I’m just across the way from you in Volusia County.
Amir Khalid
@HumboldtBlue:
We get a decent variety here of stalkers, monomaniacs, wingnuts and attention-seekers; but there’s always room for someone like you who can fling incoherent abuse with so much energy. Do make yourself at home here. I hope you find the facilities to your liking.
HumboldtBlue
@Amir Khalid: Like I said, you self-imporant gasbag of dumbassery, blow me bitch.
izzy
Is anyone following the rumors of a bombshell interview by Newt’s ex-wife? See the headlines on drudgereport..
Amir Khalid
@HumboldtBlue:
I can see that you’re settling in just fine. That’s wonderful.
Oh. One more thing. When you have to get around the place, we’ll be happy to help you. As I’m sure you understand, the safety regulations require that we strap you securely to the gurney and put the hockey mask on you, so that you don’t bite anyone. I promise, we won’t pull the straps too tight. Your comfort is very important to us, you know.
Ronzoni Rigatoni
@Phylllis: Yo! Phyllis. I’m up here in Palmetto Point LOL
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid: I half-suspect that m_c is a sock puppet you created in order make yourself look saintly.
Also too, a laurel and hearty welcome to Betty Cracker.
gaz
It sure didn’t take long for Kola’s shoes to get filled here, did it?
We just barely got done running him off.
What’s the turnaround time on trolls here, like 8 hours?
HRA
@Hal:
Could not resist -raised in Lackawanna. In the burbs of Buffalo now.
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: It would be, as always, irresponsible not to speculate.
And now the whole state is pretty much shut down. Awesome.
Josie
Welcome, Betty C. I have always enjoyed your posts at Rumproast and pet pics are always good.
quannlace
Shouldn’t that be in a dog carrier, strapped to the top of the family van?
Lawnguylander
Betty’s first stalker will be a cilantroll. And a Yankee Fan. And a bitter Bill Richardson supporter from ’08. And still outraged at Don Cornelius for letting Kurtis Blow appear on Soul Train that time in like, ’83. Might as well preemptively ban all the c!l@ntr0 lovers right away to avoid much unpleasantness in the future. Here at least you’re not posting on the blog of a guy who fucking cultivates c1l@ntr0 on his fucking balcony so you could probably get away with it.
Amir Khalid
@quannlace:
The gurney is for getting around within the facility. We will of course be using the dog carrier on the van for day trips outside, but only once HumboldtBlue has earned that privilege.
Montana
Great – love your style.
Oh, and fuck the trolls and bring back ABL…although she seems to be holding her own at ABL Chronicles.
Comrade Mary
@HumboldtBlue: Oh, hai, HB!
Guys? If you don’t know the commentariat at RR, don’t be too quick to make assumptions about HumboldtBlue, who is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life. Or so I’ve been told.
PurpleGirl
Welcome. Looking forward to your posts. And pets!…
As you probably know, BJers are always pleased to see pet pix.
Whatsleft
Welcome Betty! Thrilled to see another several-generation Floridian in the house. I’m thinking’ we’re surely kin of some sort, so hey there cousin :-)
chopper
@Lojasmo:
well yeah, 15 degrees is hard to measure. you have a problem with things being straight up and down?
HumboldtBlue
Mary, good to see ya, don’t mind the fuck knuckles, stupid is sadly a notorious by-product on the intertoobz along with stupid motherfuckers who believe their words typed on a screen actually mean something in the real world. That’s why they fuck the goats Mickey Kaus blows, it’s a circle of life thing.
And Lawn? I see what you did there, bastard.
Omnes Omnibus
@Comrade Mary: I know, but he(?) is doing such a good job and, if he(?) can keep up the fake trollery, mebbe the real ones will be intimidated and our nice new FPer won’t get broken so quickly. Thanks for letting the cat out of the bag; this is why we can’t have nice things.
gaz
Wait, so Betty Cracker comes with her own (fake) trolls?
She’s ABL, you guys are shinin’ me on!
And isn’t a (fake) troll, still a troll, sorta by definition?
Or are there real trolls, that *also* troll on teh intertubez?
I’m so confused now =/
Comrade Mary
This is where I’m supposed to feel guilty, right?
/checks
Sorry, I think I left my conscience in my other trousers. Can I get back to you on that?
Oh, and the Humboldt in HumboldtBlue stands for Humboldt figurines. TRUE STORY.
In short: you break him, you buy him. Be careful out there.
Amir Khalid
@Omnes Omnibus:
I look forward to HumboldtBlue’s interactions with our longer-established friends like BO_Bill, Kola Noscopy and, um, what’s Derf calling himself these days?
Comrade Mary
I am eating cilantro RIGHT NOW. And will be putting cilantro in the curry simmering downstairs when I’m ready NOMNOMNOM …
Omnes Omnibus
@Comrade Mary: You have a conscience? What’s it look like?
gaz
Ask Rick Santorum’s Jar
Comrade Mary
@Omnes Omnibus: Steven Harper, inverted, on a field of gules.
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid: Gust Avrakos or something similar.
Omnes Omnibus
@Comrade Mary: Isn’t that a Tarot card?
Comrade Mary
Ha! One no sane person would ever want dealt, but FY first past the post and all that.
CaseyL
@gaz:
I’m starting to feel the approach of an event horizon; a black hole of infinite regression into which the real trolls, fake trolls, sock puppets, and fake sock puppets are pushing us.
@Yutsano:
Seriously? Wow.
The office where I work was closed today; I don’t see how it can stay closed tomorrow. There’re deadlines we have to meet.
dexwood
This is good. A new person, a painless change. Welcome.
Yutsano
@Comrade Mary: Don’t make me less than three you even more than I already do. :)
And I am a cilantro evangelist. But it’s a love or hate sort of herb really. Poor coriander. It didn’t ask to be so tasty.
@CaseyL: They canceled schools already tomorrow on the east side. And it looks like more snow going through tomorrow, so what’s on the roads already ain’t going nowhere. I’m mocking Wazzu with some other alums on FB right now. Wusses have no idea what snow in Pullman really is if you’re not in class for it. :)
Heliumaddict
Bonus round! I love you over at Rumproast, and now I can get even more chuckles at Balloon Juice. Great to have you here!
SIA
@Betty Cracker, I’m very pleased you’ll be posting here – I love your style! Welcome!
marindenver
@middlewest: Betty is NOT leaving. We are SHARING her with you. ;-)
Omnes Omnibus
@marindenver: We don’t share very well. Lots of only children, I think. I, myself, do have a younger brother, but, since he is over six years younger, I probably developed many characteristics of an only before he was born. O
Or as the sea gulls said in Finding Nemo, “Mine!”
Twinky P
Betty, you’re far too classy for this place.
*grabs bag of yummy cilantro* (fixed)
This oughta be fun! Congrats!
Gravenstone
@Soonergrunt: Dude, change the batteries.
Comrade Mary
@Gravenstone: That’s what she said.
MattMinus
@Brandon:
You need to look at your controls and make sure it’s not “what if ABL wasn’t a shitty blogger?”
Friday Jones
I, too, hail from rural Florida. And as I didn’t leave until my mid-to-late 20s, I didn’t know that “cracker” was a derogatory term elsewhere in the U.S.A., because it’s not derogatory (at least it didn’t used to be) in Florida and Georgia. My dad always called us “Florida crackers” which was a term that essentially meant “poor white country people”. This was to differentiate us from the rednecks, which we definitely were not.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@marindenver:
NO! MINE! GO ‘WAY!!
Omnes Omnibus
@marindenver:
@Omnes Omnibus:
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
See what I mean?
Comrade Mary
@Omnes Omnibus: Here you go, sweetie.
Yutsano
@Odie Hugh Manatee: MINE!!
(h/t OO)
@Comrade Mary: HA! Same clip and everything!! :)
Comrade Mary
@Yutsano: Got to it first. MINE!
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Damn, I hate those clerical errors.
Because of one of these errors, while I still feel like a 20-year old DFH, I appear to have become an old bald fat white guy, You know, the one who was the department head at that job you hated. The guy who can’t understand anything you say and keeps telling you to talk slower. The one who always drives slow in the fast lane. That guy.
Yutsano
@Comrade Mary: We could pick this apart like a couple of seagulls stealing a fry from Ivar’s or something. :)
Gus
Been reading you with pleasure on Rump Roast for some time. And I love your pups! Boxers look so badass, but I’ve never met one that wasn’t a total sweetheart.
Omnes Omnibus
@Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:
You bastard. I was late this morning.
Chuck Butcher
@Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason:
Heh, I seem to have missed that memo – as I flaunt copious amounts of long grey hair at you while blowing by you to the emphatic tune of 110CID Harley V-twin…
Still not sure what I want to be when I grow up.
Chuck Butcher
@Omnes Omnibus:
I nicely waved bye-bye to both of you…
Omnes Omnibus
@Chuck Butcher: If you were on a bike in Madison this morning, I salute you, sir.
Chuck Butcher
@Omnes Omnibus:
It is, in reality, in the garage since we got about 3 inches of snow last night here in NE OR.
Madison might see me when temps get to that balmy 80s, I need to see parents in N MI. As commutes go, it is a long one even when it is warm.
Omnes Omnibus
@Chuck Butcher: You’ve got about 80 degrees to go, then.
JGabriel
Welcome aboard, Betty!
.
Lyrebird
@kindness: Actually if you boil collards very briefly — like 5 min, you might say “blanch” rather than “boil” — they make delicious wraps, and they’re easy to chop and toss into bean soup at the last minute!
Thinly sliced blanched collards are great in miso soup and also with pasta.
yum! (plus sometimes my CSA has them, bonus!)
Eric the Infrequent
Welcome cracker! All hail the boxer collective!
Allan
Well this is just perfect! And I see you managed to smuggle HB aboard in your valise!
Mrs. Polly
Once and for all, Balloon Juicers:
My esteemed co-blogger and friend Betty Cracker is a Roastazon.
She dips her Roastazon toes into two pools now, because she has two feet, and bestrides the Blogosphere like a proper Wonder of the World. You are fortunate beyond all imaginings in having her grace your front page, but if you seek more of her than we are willing to share, There. Will. Be. Blood.
Or Food. Not sure I can keep my mind on a BlogWar with our Sister Blog when I’m hungry. CilantroFix, please…..
Congratz, Betty!
dance around in your bones
♪ ♫ Betty, Betty Cracker, Queen of the Wild Frontier ♪ ♫
Bienvenidos a Balloon Juice!
Jewish Steel
Is it petty of me to be looking forward to the Betty Cracker administered beat-downs?
Yutsano
@Jewish Steel: I dunno. I have a sudden urge to make rugelach though.
Suezboo
Etiquette-wise, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say Welcome to you, Betty.I’m a Professional Lurker(standard grade) and I suspect this is my first comment here.
So, let us join hands together and leap into the murky (hoo boy)waters that are BJ with its bizarre preoccupations (veggies?), injokes and massive bouts of internecine warfare.And cursed be she that first cries “Hold it”.
Good Luck, hon.
Oh, and kilometre-wise, I may be even further away – how does South Africa feature?
the farmer
Yay!
*
Bette Noir
Congrats! Ms Cracker. Wherever you post, I’ll follow . . .
Schlemizel
@Amir Khalid:
Actually HB was so over the top I assumed he was just playing the troll for my amusement. Am I wrong?
Amir Khalid
@Schlemizel:
As I’ve now learned, you might be actually right. But I would still love to see HumboldtBlue bring the hammer down on our resident trolls.
Paul in KY
Welcome, Betty! lived in Homestead for 3 years back in early 80s.
elftx
Should HB be a “troll” I welcome him..made me LOL a LOT !!
Betty Cracker
@Kola Noscopy: For Cajun / Creole far, it’s hard to improve on Paul Prudhomme, in my opinion. Now THAT should start a violent argument.
Betty Cracker
@Geeno: Buffalo. But he’s been here so long he’s a bigger weenie about the cold (65 degrees! aaeeiii!) than I am.
Betty Cracker
@kc: What, this old thing?
Betty Cracker
@JR in WVa: Cocktail favorites? Too numerous to narrow down. I’ve recently discovered Kraken Rum, though.
Splitting Image
Hi Betty,
Welcome aboard!