Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

I really should read my own blog.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

In after Baud. Damn.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Republicans in disarray!

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

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222Comments

  9. 9.

    Spaghetti Lee

    I’ll admit I’m rooting for Newt tomorrow, if only because if Romney still pulls it out, Newt will have shown that criticizing Romney about Bain and being a scumbag plutocrat in general is a winning strategy. And if Newt actually gets the nomination, Obama ought to just go on vacation for 9 months and watch Newt implode.

  10. 10.

    clayton

    where’s my NFL or other sports thread and why am I being persecuted for liking sports threads.

    /Corner Stone

  11. 11.

    Cacti

    Gnewt has the Romneybot reeling, but Willard still has major advantages in $$$ and national organization.

    I fully expect Mitty to get pantsed by the amphibian in the bible belt, but does Gnewt really have any appeal outside the southeast?

  13. 13.

    clayton

    Why can’t I say any dickish thing I want and get a front pager to die on a hill for me?

    Why?

    /Corner Stone

  14. 14.

    General Stuck

    and if I do not throw another open thread up, SHIT WILL BURN.

    Nah. I penned up an Obotty scree a few threads down, full of Unicorns, rosy scenarios, and other assorted bullshit, and scared up nary a troll. I feel so empty inside and needing a good cry to get over this blog peace craze.

  17. 17.

    lamh35

    I’m sure most of us have seen Colbert’s epic “performance” on Morning Joe this morning, but if ya didn’t hear is a highlight reel from TPM. It truly was fantastic. Do yourself a favor and watch the whole segment if you can find it. The way Colbert had the whole lot of ’em in stitches and discombobulated and “Dick” Halperin, Mika, Joe et al trying to ask “serious” questions of Colbert was hilarious.

    Stephen Colbert Talks ‘Open Marriages’ On Morning Joe

    “ya know if you say Ron Paul’s real name he has to teach you how to turn hay to gold…”

    BHAHAHAHAHAH!

  18. 18.

    Punchy

    So Knoot openly and brazenly announces that, upon elected King, he’s going to openly and brazenly defy any Supreme Court order he feels like, and the media says nothing about this?

    In short….a guy with a greater than zero chance to become President has announced his intention to blow up our democracy…and the fucker is getting more votes?

    Unfuckingbelievable.

  20. 20.

    beltane

    @Cacti: No he doesn’t. The problem is that the SE has become the Republican homeland. The old country club Republicans are now a hated minority in their own party and I’m not sure there are enough of them to save Mitt.

  21. 21.

    bondirotta

    I am hoping for a 36% – 27% blow-out as Santorum voters bolt at the last moment. That would enable the networks to call the race before 9 PM, creating delicious prime time speeches and a looong evening of Twitter mayhem and cable hysteria.

  22. 22.

    bondirotta

    The awesome thing about South Carolina is that Florida is next. Even if Newt’s appeal is limited to the Crazy Southeast, this creates a natural flow of two major wins back to back. It will be a heck of a narrative.

    Just how much is Mitt going to sweat in the debate right after the Florida loss??

  23. 23.

    Cacti

    @beltane:

    No he doesn’t. The problem is that the SE has become the Republican homeland. The old country club Republicans are now a hated minority in their own party and I’m not sure there are enough of them to save Mitt

    Mittens’ base is richies, yankees, and mormons, so he can count on the northern and mountain west states.

    Gnewt plays confederate white resentment like a harp.

    I’m hoping for a brokered convention.

  24. 24.

    beltane

    Mitt Romney does not handle pressure well at all. He is starting to resemble that cruise ship captain in his lack of composure. How can we have a President who responds to that 3:00 am phone call by hiding under the bed?

  25. 25.

    JCJ

    So earlier tonight I got a phone call from the Republican National Committee asking for a donation to help make sure Barack Obama is a “one term president.” I asked, “Why on earth would I want to do that?” The guy asked if I was a Democrat. I replied, “No, but I have a brain!” He hung up on me.

  26. 26.

    Omnes Omnibus

    My downstairs, crazy, divorced neighbor-lady came up to my door at around 8:15 to complain about the noise from my place. I was watching a YouTube video of an interview of Richard Harris on an old Letterman show at less that 1/4 volume on my computer speakers. (Seriously, I have lived in apartments and similar places for around 25 years and she is the only person who has ever complained about noise other than a landlady in Germany who objected to a party I was having.) I informed her that (1) I was not loud, (2) It was a little after *pm on a Friday evening, (3) I don’t complain when she blasts Gloria Gaynor on occasional evenings. Things went downhill from there. I was called a “fucking dick-wad.”

    She has complained before, between 6-8:30pm, about reasonable noise levels. One complaint involved my walking too loudly around 6pm. I was dressed for running and walking to get my keys. She is extremely confrontational and aggressive.

    So, do I play the Cramps loudly for the rest of the evening to show her what loud is? Do I worry about my car tires? Do I preemptively complain to management?

  27. 27.

    Cacti

    I’d really like to know who it was on team Willard that told him sitting on his tax returns was a good idea…

    So that I could buy them a beer.

  28. 28.

    General Stuck

    If Newt wins the nom, we can expect the mighty wurlitzer to work overtime to spin the dude clean enough for greater wingnuttia .

    First, one note on what Mr. Gingrich’s married life, including his history of infidelity does not mean: It does not mean that Mr. Gingrich would be unfaithful to the United States of America or the Constitution of the United States.

    Of course this is true on its face. OR flat on its back.

  29. 29.

    beltane

    @Cacti: Do we know for sure that Marc Penn isn’t working for the Romney campaign? This level of incompetence doesn’t come cheap.

  30. 30.

    beltane

    @General Stuck: Awful framing. It gets everyone thinking that maybe Newt will violate the Oath of Office the same way he has violated every other vow he ever made.

  31. 31.

    lamh35

    I swear I heard John King on CNN today saying that there is a internal fight in the Romney camp on whether or not Romney needs to show tax returns.

    John King said something about the problem being that Romney is a pretty “private” fellow and that having to release tax return amounts to an invasion of his privacy???

    Really Romney, Really??? If you are running for President, unfortunately, you have no privacy!!!

    Hell if elected President…you have no privacy.

    The fact that they even have to debate this does not bode well for Romney.

    If there is nothing in the tax return then release them for Christ’s sake.

    I really can’t get over Romney’s answer to John King about his father having released his taxes for 12 years….

    I mean how do you NOT have an answer for something that EVERYONE is talking about????

    I rarely read Clive Crook, but I totally agree with this blog post of his.

    Why Does Romney Want to Be President?

    But my own main thought during the debate was to wonder, not for the first time, why Romney even wants to be president. You couldn’t call him a natural politician. The others up there all seemed to belong. There’s nowhere else they’d rather be. Give them an audience and they’ll set the world to rights. But this supposedly new, improved, campaign-polished Romney is still so unconfident, uncomfortable, stammering and inarticulate, you actually feel embarrassed for the guy. He tries to make a virtue of the fact that he isn’t a professional politician–despite his pathological longing to succeed in that line of work–and promptly screws that up too. Did I hear him say he’s “from the streets”? From the streets? …

    Yeah, everybody’s will come away with the Newt’s comeback again, but the above is really Romney’s problem.

    Not to get all psychological, but Romney seems to me to be running for POTUS 1)cause his father did and was unsuccessful 2) cause he’s supposed??? 3)cause he really “hates” Obama???

    Number 1, is probably the biggest reason if you ask me.

  33. 33.

    Punchy

    @Omnes Omnibus: True story — I had the same problem years ago with a neighbor below us that called the cops merely for walking “too loudly”. TV volumes and laughing as well. My roommate decided that a bottle of B-mercaptoethanol squirted into her car thru a cracked window on a 100F afternoon was sweet revenge. And it was.

  34. 34.

    beltane

    @David Koch: OMG, that debate late night killed him. No wonder they are in panic mode.

    Did the Romney campaign seriously expect that no one would ask him about his tax returns? Whoever is advising him is guilty of political malpractice. It actually makes me fearful of whatever ratf*ckery the Republicans will employ to compensate for this debacle.

  35. 35.

    David Koch

    @beltane: Holy Shit!

    Mittens just cut the perfect reelect commercial for the President: “of course, the economy is getting better”.

  37. 37.

    Cacti

    @lamh35:

    Not to get all psychological, but Romney seems to me to be running for POTUS 1)cause his father did and was unsuccessful 2) cause he’s supposed??? 3)cause he really “hates” Obama??? Number 1, is probably the biggest reason if you ask me.

    I also think it’s mostly #1. Mitt was running for POTUS before Obama ever held the office.

    His dad was a mensch and on some level, he knows that he stood on Papa’s shoulders to get where he is. If he wins the Presidency, he accomplishes something that Dad never did, and somehow, this validates him.

  38. 38.

    Felinious Wench

    As a woman who grew up with Highly Coifed Texas Women (may they all rest in eternal Aquanet), I have developed a fascination with Callista’s hair. Do y’all know how much time and product it takes to get a ‘do like that? And that perfect swoosh! I know some little old ladies who would die for that hair.

    Not being catty. I can appreciate high hair art.

  39. 39.

    Newly-minted MBA

    My sister in law is visiting from VA. (she lives in Charlottesville) and she just told us that her friends who have horse farms in the area have learned that Romney’s people have been down scouting locations to stable the family horses once they move into the White House.

  42. 42.

    Mnemosyne

    Since I know that other crafty types comment here, I thought I should spread the word that Interweave is having a huge-ass sale on a lot of their digital products:

    http://www.interweavestore.com/?SessionThemeID=7

    It took me forever to figure out how to only access the sale items for my particular craft, but you choose it from the icons on the top row (in my case, knitting) and then choose the “Winter Wipeout Sale” link in the shop’s menu.

    I just ordered a big bunch of back issues on CD so I can get rid of the paper copies that are cluttering up my living room.

  46. 46.

    Mnemosyne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I was kind enough not to mention that her sex noises at 5:00am often wake me up.

    A friend of mine who was having a friends with benefits type of relationship went down to her car one morning and discovered that her neighbor had left a note asking her to try and have sex a little more quietly.

    She was pretty embarrassed.

  47. 47.

    Martin

    @Punchy:

    So Knoot openly and brazenly announces that, upon elected King, he’s going to openly and brazenly defy any Supreme Court order he feels like, and the media says nothing about this?

    In South Carolina? No. In the secession state, openly defying the Constitution toward your own personal goals is a point of pride.

  49. 49.

    Mnemosyne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yes, sorry, “crafty” as in “arts and crafts,” not as in “crafty like ice is cold.”

    Though you can get a pretty cool knitting t-shirt that says that.

  50. 50.

    Martin

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I was kind enough not to mention that her sex noises at 5:00am often wake me up.

    Ah, that’s your solution. Every time you get woken up at 5AM, turn the Sir-Mix-A-Lot up to 11.

  52. 52.

    jl

    @Cacti: Maybe he should try doing some the things his dad (and mom) did first? Nasty comment maybe, but did a little reading about them after seeing some BJ comments last night.

    Maybe Mitt was going down that road, trying to be a sensible responsible Republican leader. If he has stuck to it from back then, maybe some things in the party would be different now. But he didn’t. He’s a total sell out now. You can say a lot of things about his parents, but not that.

    Can’t feel sorry for the guy, he has enough blessings in life. Hope the GOP primary chews them all to pulp and whoever survives will be a hopeless candidate, a laughingstock from convention to concession speech. And the GOP base will have to deal, or continue the slow destruction of the GOP.

  53. 53.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Martin: My other neighbors are quite nice. I have no interest in disturbing them. I make an effort not to disturb the single mother across the hall’s teenage son and his girlfriend when they are making out in the laundry room. See, I am considerate.

  60. 60.

    Martin

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, sacrifices sometimes need to be made for the betterment of the group. I think if you explained your actions to your neighbors, they’d understand.

  61. 61.

    Schlemizel

    Having burned shit in a previous life I have to say it is an event much to be avoided. Adding fuel oil speeds it up but does nothing to improve the ambiance.

  64. 64.

    bondirotta

    So Romney finally dropped below 20% of the Tea Party vote in the latest PPP poll. They despise wimps more than anything. Romney seems to be diving in the last 48 hours… 40% – 25% result may not be impossible.

    Paul is fading badly. That bemused grandpa act is a real bad fit for the fighting pits of SC. He obviously thinks his academic shtick about Austrian school of economics is amusing. It was in New Hampshire – Paul cannot modulate his act for a different audience.

  68. 68.

    Comrade Mary

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I, of course, have a story, but perhaps this not the time and place.

    Nonsense. Have you looked around here? This is always the time and place.

  70. 70.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Gin & Tonic: Look, if I am going to do this, I need to use old school punk. Downstairs neighbor is a disco (Gloria Gaynor) person. Punk is the canonical response.

  71. 71.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Omnes Omnibus: If you need old school punk, then the Cramps surf-infused style is not the answer. Suicidal Tendencies, Black Flag, Circle Jerks or the like.

  74. 74.

    jl

    @bondirotta: I think Paul tried to change the pitch. I noticed a few of the notorious newsletter themes popping up in the final SC debate: dark warnings about inflation, civil unrest, Mad Max dystopia triggered by straying from Austrian dogma for too long.

    But, looks like jittery scam financial newsletter subscribers and today’s GOP base differ in how they like their red meat dished out.

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Comrade Mary: One needed to be prodded.

    The soon-to-be-ex-Mme and I were in a nice hotel in Chicago and decided to occupy some of our afternoon with “together time.” She is not, um, quiet and we had apparently left the door open. An embarrassed assistant manager mentioned it to us later. I was not really pleased. If one stays at a nice or bad enough hotel, it should overlook any weirdness doesn’t hurt anyone. I also suspect Mme have left the door open “accidentally.”

  82. 82.

    Comrade Mary

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    @Comrade Mary: One needed to be prodded.

    Yes, one does :-)

    I think your soon-to-be-ex-Mme recognized the value of a positive feedback loop. For all her presumed other flaws, she got that right.

  84. 84.

    dead existentialist

    @cathyx: Pfft. Read the article from the other end of cynicism and it reads like a hit piece.

    Start with the premise that the current Administration isn’t completely in the pockets of Wall Street and most of this story is guilt by association like the Bill Ayers/Jeremiah Wright horseshit.

    How many clients do you suppose a big-time DC law firm has? How many lawyers might they have on staff to “service” that clientele?

    I read that piece with just a hint of that kind of cynicism, and all I got was innuendo. (And I think Matt Taibbi is Come-Again-Jesus!)

  86. 86.

    Face

    The soon-to-be-ex-Mme

    I hope she doesn’t read this blog. Otherwise….what a way to find out. Poor girl.

  93. 93.

    gnomedad

    if I do not throw another open thread up, SHIT WILL BURN.

    Too right. We were almost stuck on a “salted dicks” thread all night.

  94. 94.

    Lojasmo

    wither veritas? The tears of joy should be flowing down mine cheeks. Alas, my mirth is abated by her ready absence.

  95. 95.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @dead existentialist: My dad saw her in the parking lot at one point. A month or so later, after his mom (aged 90) told me that – now that I am becoming single again – I should look for “opportunities” where I can find them (god, I love that old lady), Dad said, “Not that woman downstairs from you!” I concurred.

  100. 100.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    Well, yes, shit will burn if you dry it out enough. Kept the settlers warm crossing the Great Plains, as a matter of fact. Me, I prefer natural gas. Or wood, when that gets too expensive.

  101. 101.

    pseudonymous in nc

    Florida’s going to be fun to watch… for those of a masochistic sensibility. Can’t do cross-state flitting like SC, have to pick your regions of strength for show-up campaigning and hope that the ground game and ad slathering in $$$$$ markets will do the rest.

  103. 103.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Omnes Omnibus: Re: your neighbor. Knock on her door and in your best Gene Wilder impersonation:

    “I’m sorry, did you say I was loud? I didn’t think I was loud. Did you? Did you really? I know what loud is, do you? Do you? Do you want to know what loud is? Well I’ll show you what loud is! Do you WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOUD IS? I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT LOUD IS!”

    The go play the Cramps at full volume until the cops show up.

  105. 105.

    handsmile

    For the legion of Helen Mirren fans, smitten by performances both naked and clad, here’s a link to a notorious 1975 British television interview (Mirren was 30 at the time) in which she was introduced as the “sex queen of the Royal Shakespeare Company.”

    It’s quite flabbergasting to listen to the interviewer, Michael Parkinson, repeatedly ask questions about “what can best be described as your equipment.” Mirren, as usual, is supremely feline.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmlP_cFOoAM

  107. 107.

    burnspbesq

    @cathyx:

    Eric Holder has some conflict of interest with prosecuting big banks.

    Bull. That article has NOTHING of substance in it.

    Are you so easily misled?

  108. 108.

    Steeplejack

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I don’t think you should escalate or retaliate. It rarely works, except to give you a spurious feeling of satisfaction, and it especially doesn’t work with crazy. Crazy can escalate like, uh, crazy.

    Just continue to live at your normal noise levels, and, if she comes to complain again, you could bring up your excellent point about her perhaps not being used to living in a multi-unit building. From your previous posts about her, it seems like she is going through the awful aftermath of divorce, so she’s probably not at her best, and she’s pissed off at life and everybody–especially men. And she might be looking to tangle with someone, even just as a punching bag. Don’t be the punching bag.

    Try taking the aikido approach–direct her energy and dissipate it. If you say, “Hey, yeah, I’ll try to keep it down”–and then keep doing what you’re doing (which seems reasonable, from your account)–she’ll either get the idea that complaining doesn’t work and she’s just going to have to live with it, or she might be crazy enough to believe that you’re actually being quieter and she has “won.” (Especially as she gets used to being in the multi-unit building.)

  109. 109.

    Steeplejack

    @Steeplejack:

    WTF?! Where did the edit-mo-tron go? FYWP!

    I was going to add that engaging with her as her sparring partner is a no-win strategy. Her anger and post-divorce pissed-off-ness will feed on it, and it will wear you out.

  112. 112.

    burnspbesq

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Look, if I am going to do this, I need to use old school punk.

    Nonononono. Late Coltrane. Stellar Regions, Interstellar Space, Sun Ship. That’ll fix her ass.

  118. 118.

    dead existentialist

    @handsmile: Thanks for that. I knew that old lady that I’ve known this last-plus decade was hot in her youth. I knew someone or two like her back in the day.

    You just don’t find lovers like this these days.

    Err. Get off my lawn!

  120. 120.

    Valdivia

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    grins. I know how that is. When I went though my divorce I wish I had had someone pushing me along these lines–but back then I was young and stupid.

    crosses fingers and wishes best of luck. and hopefully an improved attitude from the downstairs neighbor.

  122. 122.

    WaterGirl

    @Steeplejack: Completely agree. But there’s something to be said for thinking about all the things you could do.

    Years ago, I used to joke about putting sugar in the Dean’s gas tank. I would never have done it, in a million years, but it did make me feel better to think about it, and even say it out loud.

    I would not be surprised to find that Omnes is doing the same kind of thing here tonight.

  124. 124.

    Comrade Mary

    @handsmile:

    Or perhaps, you’d prefer salted dicks’ on fire

    I’d rather not discuss my ex-husband here, thanks. But I do appreciate the effort.

  127. 127.

    suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    So, do I play the Cramps loudly for the rest of the evening to show her what loud is?

    I’d go with Mr Bungle, but close enough.

    Come to think of it, Mr. Bungle is a corollary to the GOP race.

  130. 130.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @handsmile:

    It’s quite flabbergasting to listen to the interviewer, Michael Parkinson, repeatedly ask questions about “what can best be described as your equipment.” Mirren, as usual, is supremely feline.

    Parkinson is/was an institution of the British chat show, and managed to continue that 70s . I love hearing the other names: Lord Boothby and Mai Zetterling.

    What’s funny from watching that is the extent to which Parky was trying to play down his Yorkshire accent, and Mirren was doing something similar: if you listen to them thirty years on, it’s a great reflection of how much more comfortable they both are in their roles (he’s ten years older than her) and how much Britain had changed in the intervening years.

  133. 133.

    srv

    I’ve seen a lot of weird things in this life, but tonight I saw a Fedora-wearing semi-bearded Orthodox-looking choir singing an Irish rendition of Hallelujah in an Episcopalian church.

    And no acid involved.

    +5 and nowhere near close enough to making sense of reality.

  134. 134.

    handsmile

    @dead existentialist: (#121)

    Let me recommend an absolutely brilliant, but sadly now obscure, British crime movie, The Long Good Friday, starring Mirren, Bob Hoskins, and a young Pierce Brosnan. Mirren plays the moll of Hoskin’s crime boss.

    One of Hoskin’s reckless underlings says to Mirren, “I want to lick every inch of your body.” He speaks, dare I say, for many.

  138. 138.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @handsmile:

    Let me recommend an absolutely brilliant, but sadly now obscure, British crime movie

    Obscure? Perhaps, but it’s the canonical British gangster film, the equivalent really of The Godfather — more so even than Get Carter. Without it, Guy Ritchie would still be making commercials.

  139. 139.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @handsmile: OMFG is that a brilliant fucking movie. Seriously awesome. Later than, but in the same category as The Italian Job and Get Carter (not the remakes).

  140. 140.

    DanielX

    Now as for that burning of shit….not going to happen ’round here unless it’s indoors (shudder) or drenched in 87 octane. First the snow yesterday. No biggie, maybe an inch, but cold/windy/miserable. Ah, but tonight – ranking in the top 10 of weather faves and moving up with a bullet, the classic wintry mix! Emphasis on wintry, since there appears to be about an inch of sleet/ice on the driveway. Then 1-4 inches of snow on top of the ice, starting about now…teh suxxor.

    Trip to the Eiteljorg Museum with daughter and one of her BFFs may have to be rescheduled, which truly sucks – I need a Georgia O’Keefe fix. The upside is that there’s a fire in the fireplace, a major stack of firewood on the back porch and an just cracked bottle of Black Bush to enhance the sound of sleet rattling on the windows. All in all, things are okay, and lacking only a little bit of schadenfreude as a mixer (like I’d desecrate Black Bush with a mixer). Ne’er mind, I’ve almost overamped on schadenfreude during the Republican primary season and it’s been painful…what the fuck am I saying? It’s been delicious and oh so sweet! Now if Newt, aided and accompanied by his Neuticles and Callista in that order, kicks Romney’s ass in South Carolina, we can settle down to watching them fling Santorum at each other for months to come. At the cost of millions of dollars – Newt doesn’t give a shit since it’s not his money, but the Romney brood will be pissing blood as they watch daddy pissing away part of their inheritance. After watching Democratic fraticide for all these years, it is just…satisfying to watch the Reagan coalition blowing up like Mount St. Helen. Oh yes, one of Romney’s chief advisors and backers being that odious little shit Karl Rove – lagniappe.

  141. 141.

    sfinny

    @Omnes Omnibus: Agree with you about confrontation, but it can come back to bite you. I chose to keep certain issues that a downstairs neighbor had with me and building quiet. Now in the midst of a suit I have no contemporaneous testimony to verify my accounts. Not that you need to denigrate the lady, but airing your frustration with others may help you in the future.

  145. 145.

    Donut

    @Omnes Omnibus

    Dude. That neighbor is just RIPE for a grudge fuck. May be both the worst and best options, but it is an option. Just sayin.

  146. 146.

    WaterGirl

    @Omnes Omnibus: I don’t find that surprising at all, coming from you.

    I think that people who are drawn to pointless and stupid confrontation are often insecure and have something to prove to themselves. That’s definitely not the vibe I get from you.

    Short story.
    My dog AC was this big, black bear of a dog. People would marvel at how he and my cocker spaniel would both chase the ball, and many times AC would let my cocker spaniel Murphy get the ball, or even let Murphy take the ball out of his mouth.

    Many people would comment that Murphy seemed to be the alpha dog. Not so. AC knew he was the big dog, and on the rare occasion that something really mattered to him, he got his way. But the rest of the time? He had nothing to prove, and he was perfectly content to let Murphy have the ball. He was completely unconcerned about appearing to be the alpha dog.

    I really admired AC, and I tried to emulate him when I managed my little IT group at the university.

  148. 148.

    suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: Good. You deserve a laugh.

    Newt Gingrich CANNOT win this nomination. I can’t handle looking at that smug bastard for even one more damn second. You know, I keep trying to decide which of them I hate the most, and I really can’t decide. Any one of them as President, GOD FUCKING FORBID, would be like driving a long way to get shot.

  149. 149.

    gnomedad

    @handsmile:

    It’s quite flabbergasting to listen to the interviewer, Michael Parkinson, repeatedly ask questions about “what can best be described as your equipment.”

    If it didn’t pre-date this, I’d assume the Monty Python “man with three buttocks” interview was inspired by this.

  150. 150.

    SIA

    @Steeplejack: Good points. Have you read Aikido for Every Day Life (or something like that)? I found it very beneficial in untangling some difficult professional relationships. Thanks for the reminder.

  152. 152.

    sfinny

    @handsmile: OMG, I saw that movie one late night on TV. Think I stayed up really late because Bob and Helen were great and even though I was supposed be doing something else, couldn’t tear away.

  153. 153.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Donut: She is a heavy smoker, probably 10 years younger than me and looking 5 years older than I do, and, while not unattractive, not my type at all.

  156. 156.

    Kola Noscopy

    @burnspbesq:

    That article has NOTHING of substance in it.

    Could you elaborate on that comment please? I read the article and I kind of doubt you’d be saying the same thing if it raised similar questions about a republican.

  157. 157.

    srv

    @handsmile: I’ve watched a lot of violent movies, and seen some actors at a distance, and would never be afraid of their personas.

    But Long Good Friday? Bob Hoskins makes Hannibal Lector look like a boy scout.

  161. 161.

    trollhattan

    @handsmile:

    First film I really remember preDame Mirren from was Cook, Thief, Wife, Lover. Not sure I’ll ever recover. Learned to appreciate her from the “Prime Suspect” series.

  163. 163.

    SIA

    @Omnes Omnibus: Mr. Screaming did too, he bought the book, which I never would have read otherwise. The book is extremely helpful in dealing with corporate dysfunction.

  164. 164.

    burnspbesq

    @amk:

    Talked about it a few threads down. Consensus seems to be that some poor shlub from the US Attorney’s office in Atlanta will show up, give the hearing officer (not an actual judge) a quick refresher course on the limits of his jurisdiction, and mop the floor with Ms Taitz. Would be nice if someone could get it all on video.

  165. 165.

    Suffern ACE

    @beltane: Neither Mittens nor Newt handles pressure well. Newt is a pants pisser who wants you to piss your pants so you won’t notice.

  167. 167.

    Violet

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I agree with the non-confrontational advice. I also suggest mentioning it to/asking your other neighbors if they’ve had any issues with her and explaining your experience. That way they know what’s going on if there are real problems later. She sounds unstable. Don’t provoke her. I’d also recommend talking to management in a “concerned about my neighbor” kind of way, just to put down a marker. Ask them to make notes and/or also have something in writing for them to put in a file.

  168. 168.

    srv

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, that’s good too, but a little weird homo-erotico also.

    House of Sand and Fog, out-takes. Ben strangles her. Well, actually, throttles her and throws her around the room. Pretty disturbing… Makes Quentin’s Cristoph Waltz look gentle.

  169. 169.

    General Stuck

    “To be in a neck-and-neck race at this last moment is kind of exciting. — Mitt Romney, quoted by the Miami Herald.

    That’s what Custer said right before Crazy Horse handed him his ass.

  171. 171.

    DanielX

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Sorry for your travails – truly. Divorce sucks, mostly, and it’s expensive, and you’ll be a lot poorer. Dealing with your soon to be ex’s attorney? Torture – I was positive my ex’s attorney’s phone number was 666. Not that one needed to call her, you could draw a pentangle on the floor and conjure her up. Plus now you have to go through all the tedious business of making sure you still have your mojo and all that, which also sucks – okay, there are compensations, yes, yes. But you will come out of the other side in one piece.

  174. 174.

    pseudonymous in nc

    I’m not sure you could make The Long Good Friday today. Or Get Carter, for that matter — whatever I’ve heard of a Stallone remake is surely a lie.

    Another funny coincidence about that 70s Parkinson interview is that Lord Boothby, who was one of the other guests, was alleged to have had an affair with Ronnie Kray, one of the notorious gangster twins. Among other people, of both sexes.

  175. 175.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @DanielX: Not expensive. Mutually agreed financial settlement. We split most things in half and with the other things, each took what was important to us. As amicable as such a thing can be. We are okay. Down the road, we could even be friends. Maybe.

  176. 176.

    handsmile

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Now that’s a winning pair of aces in this game! Eros and thanatos.

    Eva Green in The Dreamers: Aphrodite incarnate.
    Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast: Evil incarnate.

  177. 177.

    Donut

    Omnes…Listen to me. I am a Certified Life Coach in the state of Illinois. Do not heed these people telling you to be cautious with the bat-shit neighbor.

    Embrace the madness. Literally.

    Also, too, crazy people are notoriously good lays.

    Amirite er whut?

  178. 178.

    Violet

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Scariest movie character ever. Terrifying. Ben Kingsley got an Oscar nom for that. Can’t remember if he won. I think it was a very competitive year.

  179. 179.

    DanielX

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    DON’T do that, she might take it as a proposition. As you noted, she’s not your type – meaning you still have standards, which is good. This could change, however – as one acquaintance of mine noted, standards are even more situational than ethics.

    Conversation overheard in bar:

    “You like the blonde or her friend?”
    “What’re you, the East German judge? I start off with does she have a pulse.”

    Late breaking news: Men Are Pigs, you heard it here first. And I am one so I ought to know.

  181. 181.

    srv

    @pseudonymous in nc: Ah, Angie Dickenson is appearing tomorrow at the SF Film Noir – Lee Marvin’s Point Blank.

    Some people may know the Wilhelm Scream, but I’ll always remember the Angie Slap.

  182. 182.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Donut: Two rules in life: Never play cards with someone called Doc and never sleep with someone crazier than you are.

    I have only broken one of those. The Girl in the nun costume who kept asking me questions about knives should tell you which…

  183. 183.

    handsmile

    @sfinny: (#154)

    Nice to finally exchange comments with you here, having enjoyed our corporeal conversation at the NYC meet-up in November. Skoal!

  184. 184.

    suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: Divorce is awesome. The best part of it is not being married to that other person anymore.

    In all seriousness, I think divorce can be very positive. I learned a lot about myself during mine. And got laid a lot. Usually I congratulate people when they tell me they’re divorcing now, and every single person has laughed and said something to the effect of, “Yanno, you’re absolutely right.”

  186. 186.

    Donut

    I’m working on some other rules:

    1. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    B. Don’t grudge fuck the crazy neighbor
    3. I forget what eight was for

    And some other stuff.

  189. 189.

    YellowJournalism

    On neighbors’ sex lives:

    The master bedroom windows in our complex face the parking lot and common areas. There was a couple living in a unit smack in the middle who gave nightly shadow theatre performances that were hilariously anatomically-correct. They never realized that a combo of bright lights and light-colored curtains helped entertain and in some ways educate the rest of us by showing their good times.

  190. 190.

    Yutsano

    @Donut:

    Also, too, crazy people are notoriously good lays.

    Why do you think I love Dawgs? There’s a particular insanity involved in becoming one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children.

  191. 191.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @suzanne: As long as we are getting into this… I was gobsmacked by her desire for the divorce. I am working on learning not to love her any more. I get it. I understand what didn’t work, but have always been a person who can fix anything and make it better – it is part of my charm. Apparently not this. I hold out no hope for reconciliation, nor, at this point, do I think I would be the right thing to do. It is something that is, and, as such, I will deal with it. I don’t rejoice in it.

  192. 192.

    Steeplejack

    @SIA:

    Yes, I have read that book. Very good. I used to practice aikido but have not been able to for a while.

  193. 193.

    handsmile

    @trollhattan: (#163)

    Your citations alone illustrate the extraordinary range and skills of Helen Mirren. Let me mention one more: her portrayal of Queen Elizabeth in Stephen Frears’ The Queen.

    Peter Greenaway, the director of The Cook, the Thief…has regrettably faded from view and attention. A film retrospective to assess his oeuvre would now be welcome.

    And pity poor Maria Bello. An actress of no small talent herself, but imagine taking on the role of Prime Suspect’s Jane Tennison for American television.

  194. 194.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Never play cards with someone called Doc

    True story. My father paid his way through medical school playing poker. This was a long time ago.

  195. 195.

    Comrade Mary

    @Omnes Omnibus: Brilliant choice! And I’ve always loved that video treatment. (You’ve seen this version, too, right?)

    Yes, divorce sucks even when it’s civil and inexpensive. It’s a great way to beat yourself up and hold grudges about the ex-spouse. But it does get better. I’m happier now than I’ve been in decades.

    You might look at your early divorce as a real advantage in the years to come. You’re still 20s/30s, right? Lots of time left for you!

  196. 196.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Donut: But, nine, nine, nine’s for the lost god and ten, ten, ten for everything, everything, everything. You can all kiss off into the air. Behind my back, I can see them stare. They’ll hurt me bad, but I won’t mind. They’ll hurt me bad; they do it all the time. Yeah yeah,yeah, they do it all the time. Yeah yeah,yeah, they do it all the time….

  197. 197.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Never play cards with someone called Doc

    Comment got eated because I mentioned a game. But true story – my father paid his way through medical school playing a currently popular card game for money. This was a long time ago.

  198. 198.

    Steeplejack

    @handsmile:

    And pity poor Maria Bello. An actress of no small talent herself, but imagine taking on the role of Prime Suspect’s Jane Tennison for American television.

    The only thing they kept from the British series that I could see was the title. God, it was bad. Mercifully canceled, I think.

  199. 199.

    Comrade Mary

    @Omnes Omnibus: Aw, jeez. I’m really, really sorry. The not loving any more bit: if she’s away, then that’s harder to achieve, I think.

    I got lucky in that my soon-to-be-ex announced via text, before he came by to deal with the stuff in the basement a couple of weeks after separating, that he had shaved off his beard. I had some time to freak out a little (I knew, just knew, that he was shaving either to please the woman he had been lying to me about for months, or in order to hide the grey so the age difference between them wouldn’t be so obvious.) For some reason, this hit me especially hard. He wasn’t just rejecting me, he was rejecting the way I preferred him to look.

    When he actually showed up at my door, looking chinless and jowly, and said that he had shaved the other day but was now trying to grow it back, I actually sang a little inside. I barely recognized him. I even made him pose for a set of photos, mug shot style. He was a stranger now, and I knew I didn’t love him any more (for a variety of obvious reasons, not just the lack of fluff).

    I hope you get that epiphany soon about the soon-to-be-ex, but if not, it will ease away. I promise.

  200. 200.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Comrade Mary:

    You’re still 20s/30s, right? Lots of time left for you!

    Darling, no. I know punk and new wave for a reason. I am just a day younger than the Gulf of Tonkin incident. But I have never looked my age. Not bald and very little gray (my poor younger brother, he got the gray gene from my dad.). I have a portrait I keep secret from the world.

  204. 204.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @handsmile:

    Peter Greenaway, the director of The Cook, the Thief…has regrettably faded from view and attention.

    He’s still working — Goltzius and the Pelican Company, the second of his Dutch Masters series, is apparently in post — but his choices of outlet haven’t helped in that regard. He did a very obscure project, part cinematic, part online, part CD-ROM(!), called The Tulse Luper Suitcases in the early 2000s. Like a lot of projects of that vintage, it’s sort of bit-rotted away.

    I haven’t seen Nightwatching: the reviews talk of it as a reprise of older films, in a good way, so I should dig it out. But The Draughtsman’s Contract, The Belly of an Architect, Drowning By Numbers… keepers all. Even before considering The Cook… and Prospero’s Books.

  205. 205.

    Comrade Mary

    @Omnes Omnibus: Ha! For some reason I thought you were much younger. I’m about 6 months older than Obama, for what it’s worth. When my marriage broke up, I was about your age, so really, you are probably way more resilient than you think.

  206. 206.

    Comrade Mary

    @arguingwithsignposts: Not the separation: that was three days of in-person Romney-bot clumsy evasion and coldness. He announced the shaving via text, but yeah, I cried harder at that than I had at the initial separation. Shock and catharsis, I guess.

  207. 207.

    handsmile

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Turning off the balloon juice machine for the night, but wished to say that I’ve enjoyed the exchanges of cinematic appreciation here. As in other threads, your comments are (for the most part) a pleasure to read.

    Very sorry to read of your domestic woes, but sincerely hope that you are able to maintain the emotional balance and insight that you express so forthrightly and well.

  208. 208.

    suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hugs. It really does get better.

    I went through a lots-of-sex stage, then into an extreme-self-improvement stage. The latter resulted in two master’ degrees. I met the current and permanent Mr. Suzanne in graduate school.

    I loved my ex, even when I threw his stuff onto the front porch in the rain and changed the locks. Six months later, I was disgusted by him. Seven years later, we lend each other books and DVDs.

  210. 210.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Comrade Mary: I am completely resilient. The ex thing came up only because I told a story where I made reference to the the soon-to be-ex-ness. If I try to be honest, I can’t really call her Mme Omnibus, nor is the ex-Mme Omnibus correct. I tried to be technically accurate, as lawyers do, and, damn….

  212. 212.

    arguingwithsignposts

    @Comrade Mary: ah, that makes more sense. telling someone you want a divorce via text would be just about as shitty as could be, unless the other person was in the hospital dying with cancer.

  214. 214.

    DanielX

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    That’s the whole bit about making sure you still got your mojo, getting your groove back, and all that good stuff. Everybody goes through that; just beware of taking up with someone who is just like your ex – which will be easy to do. But you’ll probably get laid more in six months than you have in the last five years, at least once you get your sierra stacked in neat piles.

  217. 217.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Yutsano: Excusez-moi> one ‘appens to know things aboot you that might create a prob.

    And, Yuts, if Canuckistani-ness is the contest…. Can you can beat Louis Hebert?

  218. 218.

    freelancer

    Sorry, Sexy Beast was too weird and Kingsley’s character was in too little of the film for it to be chilling to me. I think the scariest character in all modern fiction has to be Marlo Stanfield. That dude gave me fucking nightmares, how cold he was.

  220. 220.

    Yutsano

    @Omnes Omnibus: My real last name is so common in Quebec it’s like Jones in the US. And my great-grandfather’s citizenship in the US was…squishy. My father could emigrate any time he wanted to on that basis alone. I’m trying to get them to retire up there but my mom is balking a bit. I don’t know why, she LOVES BC. Basically: I could blend into Canadian society and barely bat an eyelash. Except my slight Carolina accent. :)

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